Warszawianka (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

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There was this song.

I don't remember who sang it.

"There's a moment
when falling feels like flying."

That moment is over for me.

My name is Franciszek Czulkowski…
and I'll be dead in a bit.

But wait. Stop. Hold on a

Let's not look too far into the future,
it will come anyway.

My name is Franciszek Czulkowski
and I'm alive, for now.

I'm living to spite all those who
say that life has to have weight.

It doesn't.

All our problems are irrelevant.

Mortgage payments, inflation,
credit card debts.

All those fears and whatever
keeps you up at night.

I just live.

Looking for trouble,
but falling on all fours.

Digging holes I don't fall in.

I don't get up early,
but God grants me plenty.

Although he doesn't exist.

Because if he did,
that'd be really something.

Okay, that will do. Let's move

- Don't.
- Going to the opera?

Ever been to the opera?

- Will you blow me?
- Fuck off.

- I won't tell Maryska.
- Show it. - I knew it!

- I like to be on time, that's just me.
- It's not, it's your horrible life.

Yours is horrible,
I've got a great fucking family.

- Make a turn here.
- What?

- Make a turn. - Why?
- Do it! - Fuck!

What are you doing?


- Everyone's waiting for us!
- Shut up.

- I'm taking us on an adventure.
- Is this some punishment?

- It'll be a bit bitter.
- What will?

You're fucking crazy.

That realization is about
40 years too late, right?

It tastes like life.

Be brave.

This is my role.

I show people life.

I stop them in their tracks.

I push them towards warmth.

I know how to follow the sunny

How to let go…

and stop thinking.

Me… I haven't been thinking
since I can remember.

You're going to fucking drive

Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday, dear Czuly,

happy birthday to you!

Make a wish.

Let if be beautiful.

Think, don't say it.

How does it feel to be 40?

- Do the honours. -Norbert,
how I like you for this…

- Hospitality?
- Nobility.

- Nobleness?
- Nobility. Never mind.

Happy birthday. Fly high, eagle!

- Franek.
- Happy birthday, Franek.

Thank you.

Have fun.



the flight conditions are perfect,
though there might be turbulences.

Pour me some, then.

Czuly, what have you guys
done to yourselves?

- Divorce him.
- Dummy.

- They're wasted.
- Fuck.

Dad, are you OK?

My baby, you look so cute!

- All right, do it!
- This is my home!

Once again, and one more time:

happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

Just a sec…


Got a light?

Is something wrong?

Give me your phone.

Just don't lose it.

Once again, and one more time,

happy birthday to you!

Czuly! Czuly! Czuly!

Stop, stop, stop!
Thank you! Thanks, guys!

No, seriously?

I'm not good at…


God, you look so beautiful!
Really, like stars!

All right…

but fuck tomorrow. Fuck

Fuck tomorrow!

The most beautiful moments in life
are, ironically, the shortest.

I'm spitting nonsense
like an old geezer. Sorry!

I'm sorry…

but I am an old geezer.

I've turned 40 today…

and that's…


Fuck. That's… well…

Day before yesterday
I was what, 20?

I was 30 yesterday, and today,
by some ill-fated…

Someday it'll all, fucking,

That's right.

The people…

their love and trust…

as well as hopes…

the small and big ones.

Anger and disappointments.

And that beautiful, warming

of being loved.

Everything will be all right.

Elka, what are you…

You can't clean people's apartments,
it's sick!

It's yours, not some people's. Other
people keep their places clean.

What are you struggling for?
My sex life?

No, I don't want you to get

- I'm off to work.
- Go to a shrink.

Thanks for helping me,
but I really need to get going.

Where to?

- It's been a while. Coffee,
- I'm good.

Got anything new? Vol. 4,

Or something else.
We're open to ideas.

- I thought you'd have something for
me. - I don't get it.

You never do, in that crucial moment.
Get a CT scan.

- Artists, always about the money…
- I'd like to see my balance.

Be my guest.

Quite a sum, huh?

- I won't pay you now.
- What do you mean?

Not a penny,
until you write me the book

contracted in 2014,
the deadline for which…

It's a poor joke.

I'm the CEO here.

I can do anything that's
profitable for the company.

- Is writing a book such a problem?
- I don't want to write anymore.

And do you think they do?

- I don't know how to anymore.
- And do you think they do?

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

- I'm sorry, you can't smoke here.
- I know.

I just had to do it.

I always do that
when he refuses to pay.

I love the sound of the fire
brigade rushing through the city.

And the smell of napalm...

…in the morning.

Do you know this is a girls'

I know.

- She's aggressive towards kids…
- There's Nina's dad.

- Hi. - They say Nina is
playing hooky.

- So did I.
- I'm in a hurry.

Recently during PE she threw
a ball at a boy's head,

- chipping his tooth.
- The boy fouled her.

- And called her a pussy.
- Nina is 11.

So…? Is it OK to call
an 11-year-old a stupid cunt?

I'd recommend a visit
at a psychiatrist's.

It's a bit too late for us.

A psychiatrist?
Because she had a fight?

I mean a routine consultation. I
talked to the school counsellor.

Hold on… Just imagine
that you're stuck somewhere

for 10 hours, where everyone
is against you.

I wouldn't confirm Nina's conviction
that the whole world's against her.

Who's confirming it?

Today she refused to read
"In Desert and Wilderness".

Because her Dad said it's a book
"for racist rednecks".

Because it is. Like "Quo Vadis".

Every woman is someone's possession.
Do we want girls reading this?

That lions devour slave girls?
That's what they learn?

- Who's crazy here?
- The curriculum is beyond

I've got a class in 5 minutes.
Don't downplay this.

Couldn't it be normal, just

- But it is.
- Got get her.

What did she say?

- You're getting expelled.
- Great. - Juvie.

- But you'll help me escape?
- I'll think about it.

- Dad… - What?
- I'm counting on you.

- Love you.
- Love you too.

Now you'll have
the grown-up conversation?

- Exactly.
- Yes.

- Got a cigarette?
- You don't smoke.

Give me one.

- You know she's right.
- Who?

It's starting. Adolescence.

- Help me, Franek.
- I'm trying.

- Then try differently. - She
has a right to defend herself.

OK. But we can't be telling her
different things.

We need to speak in one voice.
You and me. And Szymek.


Is there tutoring available
in Szymek's voice?


Spend some quality time with

- Go to the movies, talk to her…
- Tell me when?

- Next weekend?
- Even sooner.

Next weekend will be fine.


- I'm looking for an iPad.
- What kind?

The best kind.

Which will make an 11-year old say:
"I love you, Dad, you're the best."

"No one at school has one like

"That one."


- I get it, right?
- At least somebody does.

Hello! You realize there's a world
beyond your phone?

- Look around, it's nice.
- The boomer world?

- Whose?
- Old farts'. Yours.

- Maybe go see a movie?
- There's no theatre here.

- There's the Luna.
- With medieval films.

And it's a good thing!
Medieval films enrich the soul.

There. Be home at 9 pm. Scram,

- How about it?
- No, thanks.

I know you're mad because the guy
is trying to fuck you over...

But my lawyer can fix this.

The real problem is that
you don't want to write.

And you should. You're fuckin good
and there's money in it.

You don't get fuck.

- It just pains me… - Sancho, all
your friends are like you.

You don't need another one.
Let me be fucking me.

You're benefitting from it too.

There are many shades of grey
between being you and me.

God, I love you, and I just
to have ice-scream with you.

For fuck's sake!

Or maybe you'd prefer a room in a hotel?
You haven't licked ass for too long.

- This joke of yours is getting…
- What joke?

- It's not a joke?
- Is it?

- You want to?
- Do you?

- But I'm paying for the room.
- Who else? Fuck…

- Where are you off to?
- A date.

I hope he's pretty.

Keep an eye on your brat.
She's grown.

See you.

I was born in Warsaw.

It's not a fit place to live.

A cemetery
with the best parties in Europe.

I even wrote a book about it.

People bought it,
and I made real money.

The only time in my life.

And with that money I opened a

For a moment I felt
it gave my life a meaning.

I'm a big fan of those eyes.

- Huge fan. - You said we'd
go to your place.

This is my place.

- My place is everywhere.
- Meaning you're homeless?

Or let's take a cab to the

- The sea? - The sea.
- We'll see…


At the seaside...
it's easy to catch a cold.

Let's not, then. Let's not.

We're going to my place.

Take this off.

Are you a fan of this too?

- Is there a bathroom here?
- A bathroom?

Yeah… up those stairs.

Her name's Natalia. And she's
pretty like the Norhtern lights.

Honouring me
with her very presence.

But she shouldn't be here.

There's nothing in it for her.
she's wasting time.

When I get close with someone, it's only
to drink their joy, like a vampire.

Maybe everyone does that…

because they so alone…

and no one is really honest.

Or maybe we could just dance?

Just this once?

Maybe everyone is cuddling
to keep warm, like kittens.

Maybe our loves and joys
are artificial flavours

added to cheap pies.

Or maybe we just need
to make a choice.

Either we believe
the sunny road exists

and it's the meaning of all of
this, or we decide it's all a joke.

And we're all empty and

That there is no flying,
only the fall.

I still can't make my mind up.


What are you doing here?

Mom has to be someplace,
so you need to take care of me.

- I tried calling you.
- But…

I'll pick her up tomorrow after school,

- But what's…
- Aren't you glad?

Sure I am.

OK… Have fun.

- Hi.
- I need to do math.

Anything to eat or drink?

Yes, please. Something to eat.

What's this?

Oh, that… I got myself an iPad.

Cool. Lucky you.

Lucky you. Because it's yours.



- No…
- Yes.


Thank you!

- Happy?
- Totally! You're awesome!

- I love you. Not for the iPad.
- Obviously.


- Dad?

- No one at school has one like

Is that so?

You're the best of the best
of the best, seriously.

Say again? I didn't catch that.

You're the best of the best of
the best

of the best of the best in the

You know what?

Pack your stuff.

- Let's go.
- Where to?

It's a surprise.

Not everything will disappear.

Someone will stay.

With everything you'll leave
and pass onto them.

And when you'll be
merrily non-existent

she'll be existing in full.

Thanking or cursing you.

Keeping you in her heart
or not giving a shit.

Talking about you to her kids
or to her shrink.

Mom won't be too happy.

She doesn't have to be too
happy. As long as she's happy.

- She's going to kill you. -
I'll worry about that tomorrow.

Get your shit together.
Go straight ahead.

Watch your step.

Or else you'll fucking trip in all
that sunshine, and start falling.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And remember: you've got a home.

Your home is not in your city.

It's in the smile of someone you

My home is here.

- It's up!
- So beautiful!

- How do you feel?
- Awesome!

- Shout: yes!
- No.


- Yes.
- Yes!

Nina, we'll never be as free
as we're now!


One more time! Yes!

I love you.

I can die for you, any time.