Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 4, Episode 16 - Runaway - full transcript

[ ♪ When The Lights Go Out ♪
by The Black Keys ]

- Let's go.
- Yep.

♪ Don't it hurt so bad ♪

♪ standin' in the sun? ♪

What the hell?

Yo, dog...
Is it snowing?

Sound the alarm!

Out of the yard!

Get everybody inside now!

It's a very unique
prison break.

Could an artifact
cause mantle displacement



or... I don't know...
spontaneous volcanoes?

Of course.
That's why I hate volcanoes.

They leave behind
intense emotions.

Oh, that's why
you hate volcanoes.

You know, Pete thinks
it's the giant lava monster

escaped from the earth's core.

He thinks that, or he's hoping?

Just send me a sample
to analyze.

I'll run through the database
with whatever you've...

got so far.

Right.

Damn it!

Artie, are those shelves
still unstable

from the quakes last week?



Yeah, annoyingly so.

And you are fixing them
with a black light?

What? No, no.

This is Jerry Garcia's
black light.

It's for Claudia's
birthday party.

It enhances visuals
of any artwork

that it shines on.

Ah, you're still throwing
the party.

Yes.

And your input on the event
is still not required.

I don't know.

21 is a really big deal, Artie.

It's a... it's a huge birthday.

Trust me, I know Claudia,

and I've planned
the perfect party.

Well, that's what
I'm worried about.

I happen to have
a great surprise lined up.

Please tell me
it's not a clown.

You know what?

Just solve the case.

Come back in time
for the party,

and I'll call you
if I find anything.

All right.

Just...

Ugh.

[ Beethoven's Symphony No. 9
in D-major, second movement ]

♪ "Runaway" ♪

So there's
a US Marshal here now.

Great.

I'm sure he'll be telling
his guys to...

search every gas station,

residence, warehouse, outhouse,
and doghouse.

You forgot "henhouse."

Ah, nice catch, Marshal.

I watch it at least
once a year.

Uh, Mykes, this is, uh,

Liam Napier, US Marshal.

Myka Bering, Secret Service.

Warden says all the inmates

who were in the yard
are accounted for.

Really?

Hey.

He's... he's with us.
That's, um...

- Jersey.
- "Jersey"?

Marshal.

Wow.
Dude, long time.

Well, what's the ATF
doing here?

We're working
with the Secret Service

to track an incendiary device.

What the hell
kind of incendiary device

makes molten lava?

Well, that's what we're here
to figure out.

Listen, we've got this
under control.

I'm sure you've got
other places to be.

So we will call you
if a prisoner shows up missing.

Well, now wait a minute.

The warden said that everyone
was accounted for out here,

but what about
in the main building?

We don't know yet.

They needed all hands on deck
during the crisis,

so they just shut
the main building down.

They're still counting.

So everyone's focus
was out here.

And with everyone's eyes
on the front door...

It would make it a lot easier

for someone
to sneak out the back.

Maybe this wasn't
the actual prison break.

It was a diversion.

I'll order a full sweep
and get a head count

of all the inmates,

get 'em going
on that "henhouse" thing.

I love that guy.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yes!

This is great.

Okay.

- What are you doing there?
- What? Nothing!

Don't you have a guitar lesson?

That was over, like,
an hour ago.

You probably lost track of time
'cause you were too busy

turning the solarium into
a funeral home for deadheads.

What?
Oh, no, there's nothing.

There's nothing going on
in there.

Yeah, the problem with hiding
things behind glass doors

is you can see through them.

All right.

It's for your birthday party.
You're welcome.

- What?
- Yeah, and I...

Yeah, I have all the great
rock bands on vinyl.

One of the few
older technologies

that your generation
still actually respects.

Plus, I have a very,
very special,

special surprise guest.

Tell me it's not a clown.

Let's just get
one thing straight.

Clowns happen to serve
a very important

psychological
and socioreligious function

in society since 2400 BC.

Artie, Artie, Artie...

Tha... thank you for this.

Oh, come on.

Really, it's...

I just already made plans
to go get beers with Steve.

No, you can't just go to a bar.

According to the state
of South Dakota,

at midnight, I can.

No, no, no.
It's not that.

Just... can't you stay home?

Artie, when you met me,
I was a kid.

I'm an adult now.

You know,

age has nothing to do
with adulthood.

- Look at Pete.
- Okay.

- Look...
- You always do this.

I'm not just an old man
who knows nothing!

You act like I can't make
my own decisions.

You know, how many times

have I actually saved the world
at this point?

All right, you know what?
Just... enough!

Look, if we're gonna have
this argument,

at least just turn off
the music

so we can have
the argument properly.

What music?

Ah, just because
it's Beethoven's first symphony

does not mean it's not music.

And adults listen
to classical music.

Artie...
there's no music.

[ Beethoven's Symphony No. 1
in C-major ]

Okay, see, that's not good.

Beethoven's clock.

That definitely looks like
an escape route...

I'm guessing made
by an artifact.

While everybody else
was busy in the yard,

two convicts disappeared.

Jonesy, put out an APB
on two fugitives...

Joe Barton and Rick Davis.

I want wheels on the road
and eyes on the dirt.

If it's orange and moves,
I want to know.

Copy, Marshal.

This hole was made
from the outside,

just like the one in the yard.

And this?
It's volcanic ash.

All right, well,
it looks like Barton and Davis

have someone on the outside...

Someone with an artifact.

Unh!

Ha!

Damn, I've waited so long
for that.

- That's not Griff.
- No, that's Barton.

He's gonna make sure that we can
afford that vacation we wanted.

Where's the thing?

So this is
the magic bottle, huh?

Don't open it.

That stuff melted through those
prison walls like nothing.

Imagine what it could do
to a bank vault...

Or anybody
that gets in our way.

Davis is a member
of the Third Street Turks...

a crew deep into armed robbery
and narcotics.

Another turk in his block
is this upstanding gentleman...

Adam Griff.

Their last project together
landed them here

in our lovely hillbilly spa
and resort.

What about Joe Barton?

Bad man...

armed robbery, assault,
attempted murder.

A former Turk,
but after a messy falling out,

they parted ways.

So Davis escaped
with a deserter

and not his fellow Turk, Griff.

It doesn't add up.

Or maybe Barton was trying
to get back in.

I'm having Mr. Griff
brought up.

He should have been here
by now.

You know, someone should keep
an eye on our marshal.

Pete.
Pete should stick with him.

Dude, what is wrong with you?

Is there something
about that guy you don't like?

No! No, no, no, no.
It's just that he's...

you know, and, you know,
we don't really...

Oh, my God.
He's your ex.

He is?

He is.
Yeah, he is!

I don't think
that that's relevant.

Dude, why didn't you say so?

Because being stuck on a case

with a guy that dumped me
is not a dream assignment.

In fact, I think I've had
this exact nightmare before.

Okay, wait a minute.
He dumped you?

Why would anyone do that?
I mean, look at you...

looks, brains, good taste,

a deep knowledge
of guns and blowing things up.

- What's not to love?
- Do you need us to hate him?

- Because we can hate him.
- No, no, no, no.

Look, look, Liam...
he's not a bad guy.

What happened between us,
it wasn't his fault, and...

And I'd really rather talk
about this

at another time that's not now.

Maybe we can talk about it
when I'm dead.

Okay.

Right? Right.
I will shadow Liam.

Okay, we're gonna go
toss Barton and Davis's cells,

far away from Mr. Hunky Ex.

- He's not that hunky.
- Oh, he's hunky, okay?

He's me.

I knew I was your type.

Can this get any worse?

ATF and Secret Service
seem like an odd mix.

You work with Steve long?

I know what you're doing.

You're digging for intel
on Steve, so...

Caught me.
I'm sneaky that way.

I just want to know
how he's doing.

It's been a while, and we
don't exactly Skype every night.

Well, you should have thought
of that before you dumped him.

Right.
I dumped him.

My bad.

It's a big mistake.

It's huge... for you.

It's great for Steve.

He goes out a lot, you know?

A lot, a lot, a lot of dating.

Oh, yeah, we call him
"Social Steve."

Steve Jinks, right?

Well, I guess you never
really knew Steve.

Guess not.

He did tell me
about one guy, though.

What's the name of the guy

that he just started dating
last week?

Oh, come on,
you know the guy's name.

Steve just told me about him.

It's okay.

Honestly, I'm glad he has
friends that stick up for him.

You sure you got time for this?

I heard you got two cons
on the run.

Play nice, Griff.

Secret Service here has got
a few questions for you.

So Barton leaves your crew,

and Davis still breaks him out.

Why?

No idea.
Can I go now?

Seems like everybody kissed
and made up.

Did the Turks finally learn
how to forgive and forget?

Yeah, right.

Barton would be dead
if he didn't have...

If he didn't have something
that you wanted?

Information?
No.

You'd just kill him.

Money.

He's got some
of your stolen cash,

and now you're groveling
at his feet to get it.

Hey...
Nobody takes our money.

So this is about money.

But it's not your money.

So Barton's trying
to... to buy his way back in

with his own stolen loot.

He's gonna show Davis
where it is.

Davis was supposed
to take you, wasn't he?

But you got dropped
at the last minute

for Barton's big bag of money.

I don't got
to tell you nothing.

Maybe we should ask some of
the other Turks in the prison.

Well, that's a great idea.
We could...

we could tell them everything
that Griff here told us,

and they could just fill in
the blanks.

I didn't tell you anything.

They'd probably be
very interested to know

how helpful Griff was.

I didn't help you.
You guessed.

I would probably leave
that part out.

I'm very forgetful that way.

Yeah?

Well, then I'll tell 'em
the truth.

You've been here talking to us.

Who do you think
they'll believe?

Look, just tell us where
Barton and Davis are going.

We'll forget this little
conversation ever happened.

So...

This stuff with Liam...
that must suck, huh?

Yeah, I remember when Amanda
and I split up.

Oh, that was...
that was tough stuff, man.

- You know?
- Uh-huh.

I mean, I guess what I'm
trying to say is I can relate.

I mean, sure,
Amanda and I had a chance

to put things to rest,
and now we have a newer...

Slightly weirder relationship.

Maybe this is just a chance
for you to make amends.

You really want to talk
about this?

I know.

Doesn't sound like me, does it?

Well, I've been getting in touch
with my sensitive side.

Knock knock, Steve.

I'm home.

The thing is,
I thought that Liam was...

You know, the one.

Been there, man.
Been there.

- And then he started lying.
- Right.

Well, you're definitely not
the guy to lie to.

Heck, I got to look away
every time

you ask me for a piece of gum
and I only have three left.

Jinksy.

What are you doing?

Looking for a tunnel.

Haven't you ever seen
Shawshank?

Hey, hey, check this out.

"Hey, babe,
I can't wait to see you

so we can be together forever."

Davis had a girlfriend...
uh, uh, Anna.

She might be the accomplice.

It's possible.

Oh, listen to this one.
"Hey, babe.

"The east sees you rise above
the walls around my heart...

"Surrounded...

"Slumbering in the cellar
at noon

"away from the midnight moon.

Mournful Monday,
awake with thee."

See, Steve, poetry sucks 'cause
it doesn't make any sense.

No, no, no, no.
She's...

she's trying to hide something.

So what?
You think it's a code?

Yeah, we need to figure out
the cipher.

Uh, transposition...
move each letter

to the next one
in the alphabet.

- "U-i-f-f-b-t-u."

Sounds Klingon.

- No.
- No?

- No.
- Okay, uh, I don't know.

So, what, do we rearrange
the sentences?

"Sees surrounded
around the east"?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Flag on the play.

Look at these.

They look like they're
framing the words.

Hold on, man.

Prisons don't censor
with x-acto knives.

"East, wall,
cellar, noon, Monday."

Now that's a poem
I can understand.

All right.

Present from a piano teacher
to young Ludwig...

"a clock
of most exquisite decor."

Well, wait.
Our clock doesn't have a bust.

- See?
- Uh-huh, yeah.

So that's why
we couldn't neutralize it.

- We have to goo the other half.
- Yes.

All we have to do is find it
anywhere on the planet earth.

Well, allow me to show you
how I can be hip enough

to hang ten on the web,
yet adult enough

to not need a clown.

Yeah, got it.

Age hasn't slowed me down
a bit.

Brava.
That was fast.

Yeah, I used a web crawler
to index sites

with the recently updated
keyword "bust"

and then, after remembering
to turn safe search back on,

cross-referenced
with the image of the clock,

like you taught me, sensei,

only a little more 2013
than 1979.

1979!

The year Emmett Kelly died...
famous clown.

So where are we going?

Just donated to a gallery
called Art of The Bay.

"Art of The Bay."

Art of The Bay. Art of The Bay.
Art of The Bay. Art of The Bay!

- We're going to Boston.
- Excellent.

We'll snag the artifact,
stop the "tuneage,"

and you'll still have time
to show me

where you threw the first crate
of tea into the harbor.

Good one!
I didn't see that coming.

You little... ah!
[ Beethoven's 3rd Symphony ]

It changed again.

To what?
News and weather?

No! Beethoven's 3rd!

It's going through
all the opuses.

Got to find it fast.
It's getting louder!

Yeah, we got to find it fast.

Well, it looks like Griff
was right.

With all this falling ash,

they must be around here
somewhere.

Wait.
There it is.

That's the bag Griff
was talking about.

They left the cash.

Looks like
it's been raining lava.

There's a cell phone.

Liam, a truck.

She's trapped.

Might be the accomplice.

This must be Davis.

Door is welded shut with lava.

This is more than just
an incendiary device, isn't it?

Uh...
I have to take this call,

so you should probably go help
that poor woman in the truck.

Okay.

Turns out Davis had a pen pal.

She might have the artifact.

Yeah, we found her.

And we found Davis too.

- He's dead.
- Uh, what about Barton?

Well, he probably took off
with the artifact.

But, Pete, the weird thing is,
is that he left the cash here.

So, if he's not after
the money, then what is it?

No idea, but, Pete,
he has no problem

using this artifact to kill.

Rick got the money, and...

He was gonna kill Barton.

Said he didn't need him
anymore.

There was a fight.

Barton got the bottle, and...

Oh, he buried him in lava.

The bottle?
What bottle?

This old copper jug.

It belonged to my nana Paccia.

She just passed.

I got all of her junk
from Italy.

So where is Barton now?

He grabbed my phone
and locked me in the truck.

I don't know where he went
after that.

- I swear...
- Is this your phone?

It's got to be
the copper jug, right?

I mean, from Italy,
shoots lava.

They've definitely had
their share of volcanoes.

Okay, the most recent call
was to a Paulie's diner.

Barton made it.

It's a 24-hour diner
on the edge of town.

The Turks hang out their.

Barton obviously has an agenda.

Yeah, taking out Turks.

What the hell can do this
to a guy?

Uh...

Hey, Liam,
can you give us a sec?

Sure.

Secret Service...
emphasis on the "secret."

Fine.

Okay, so the bottle's
from Italy, right?

Maybe, uh, Pompeii.

An entire city destroyed
at once...

- pretty powerful, right?
- Yeah, fear, sadness, loss...

all those emotions
flying around.

Sounds like artifact-y
circumstances.

Right.

So it's like
a lava flamethrower.

You just point it,
and it burns through.

You point it at a person,
it does this.

So you recognize him?

Yeah, that's the guy
asking everybody about Chris.

Okay, Chris...
who's Chris?

No idea.
I've been here over a year.

We don't have any Chrises.

So he heads right in there
into the kitchen

to talk to Paulie.

I heard some yelling, and then
he was heading out again.

And that's when tattoo
over there saw him.

Okay, so they knew each other?

I guess so. I mean, they got
into an argument,

tattoo pulls out a knife,

and I'm not dummy...
I got out.

Next thing you know, tattoo's
covered in molten lava?

Yeah.

- How the heck does that...
- Global warming.

Thanks for your help.

Don't forget to recycle.

It looks like this guy Chris
is Barton's next target.

Well, then we need
to get that...

Can I talk to you a sec?

Excuse me.

Look, I'm trying
to catch a fugitive,

and I can't do that if I don't
know what I'm dealing with.

I told you...
incendiary device.

Y-yes, an incendiary device
that drowns people in lava.

Nothing in the world does that.

Well, there's a lot more
in the world than you think.

Cryptic. Helpful.

Are we working together
on this or not?

Liam, things would be
a lot easier for both of us

if you weren't here.

Speak for yourself, Steve.

Well, good luck
with your top-secret

national security
spy versus spy.

Where are you going?

My people, who share
information with me, by the way,

just located
the crew's safe house.

I think I might go catch
a fugitive.

You have to go after him.

No, no.

My personal stuff cannot get
in the way of this job.

Agreed, but if he finds Barton,

he'll find the artifact.

You know him best.
Stick with him.

Pete and I are gonna try
and track down this Chris guy.

Yeah, but I don't...

Look, dude,
there's baggage, okay?

I get it, but for now,
we're stuck with your ex,

and you know him
better than any of us.

I mean, clearly,
he's not going anywhere.

And if he finds that artifact
without us...

it's gonna be a lot more
difficult to explain.

And it could kill him.

- All right, the coast is clear.
- Good.

Wouldn't want to be caught
breaking into a charity.

That'd really hurt
my street cred.

What?

Nothing.
Joking.

- How loud's that music?
- It's so loud!

I've got Beethoven's 8th
going on now,

which is highly overrated.

It's making me
a little irritable.

What's your usual excuse?

You just made a joke
about that, didn't you?

- No, I didn't.
- Yeah.

We good?

Artie, wait!

- I think the...
- Let's go!

An alarm system...

Well, why didn't you
do that first?

- Oh, this is my fault.
- This is all your fault.

- Where is it?
- Get... on the...

- Yeah.
- Ah!

Just like in the movies.

Yeah, this is cutting it
a little too close.

The music is drowning out
all other sound, and...

I got to...
I think I should just go.

You should...
wait, wait. What now?

No, I'm a liability.
You're... you can finish up.

I'll wait in the car.

No, you're doing fine.

I'm the one who's almost
getting us caught.

And this isn't slowing us up
at all.

Yeah, that's not even
remotely funny.

It's a little funny.

According to the photo
on the web...

it should be right here.

Things are missing.

Things are missing.

It's probably sold.

So...

- I'm looking for...
- Manifest!

Yeah.
Okay, manifest.

Bronze statue, $490... no.

Oil painting, fruit, $375... no.

Marble Aphrodite, $85?

They must not have known
who it belonged to.

Yeah.
The buyer...

Mrs. Viola Adams
from Beacon Park Music Academy.

Her address is...

[ Beethoven's
Piano Concerto No. 5 ]

Artie, what's wrong?
Are you okay?

Beethoven's
Piano Concerto No. 5!

Why has it switched
to the concertos?

Unless...

What?
Unless what?

Uh, no. 5 was Beethoven's
last public appearance,

'cause after that...

he went deaf.

Thank you.

Pete, I think
I figured out why...

Really?

Well, it was
just sitting there.

I think I figured out why
nobody knows a guy named Chris.

What's up?

Well, there was this waitress.
She used to work here.

She quit around a year ago

the same time that Barton
was arrested.

Here name was
Christina Robertson.

Okay.
Let's go.

Coming!

Coming.

Hi, Chris.

It's been a while.

Look, I let you join me here.

Are we gonna talk
about this or what?

I'm not here to talk
about my feelings.

That brings back memories.

Okay, so you're just gonna
follow me around

in case I find out what's
actually going on, is that it?

There are things
that I can't tell you.

- I'm trying to protect you.
- Right.

That must be why you told
your pals that I dumped you.

We're trailing a fugitive.
We're really gonna do this now?

Why not?
We never actually did it.

You know, why don't we
just check on the game?

The entune has
all the latest scores.

Steve, you never even
said good-bye.

You just left... gone.

Okay, fine.
Then let's break up now.

You lied to me constantly.

You're a human lie detector!
And it was not constantly.

Yes, sometimes I lied.

You really want the truth
all the time?

Okay, the only thing
you can cook is lasagna,

and even that sort of sucks.

That tea you drink
smells like cat pee,

and skinny jeans
do not look good on you.

- Like that?
- Yes, yes, it's a start.

Oh, come on!
Nobody wants that much truth!

I just...

I just wanted you to like me.

I loved you!

Yeah. We had plenty of "love,"
but not much "like"...

different thing.

And I wanted to like you,
but you made that so hard.

I felt like you were constantly
on the lookout.

It was terrifying.

I was always scared
I'd screw up, and...

that made me screw up
even more.

Look, I am sorry, okay?

I hate that I can tell,

and I hate that I care so much.

But this is who I am.

The thing is...

If I can't make it work
with you, if I couldn't...

Then I can't make it work
with anyone.

I'll just have to make
my peace with that.

Chris Robertson?

Yeah.

Um, but I'm on my way out.

We have reason to believe
you might be in danger.

May we come in?

Um, sure.

Thanks.

So you're not part of the crew.

No, I don't want anything
to do that life or those people.

Then why is Barton after you?

I told you... I don't know
anyone named Barton.

Pete...

Volcanic ash.

Why are you lying to us?

This is the safe house?

You were expecting beachfront?

Looks like we're too late.

Yeah, somebody tossed
this place.

Barton's definitely been here.

Times, dates...
could be a delivery schedule.

But deliveries of what?

There's a missing page.

Lyon armored car.

This is a pickup schedule.

The next pickup's
in a mall parking garage

about five miles from here
in 30 minutes.

So Barton didn't hurt you.

That's a first.

Did he, uh...
did he threaten you?

Is there someone else
you're trying to protect...

Like your son maybe?

I don't have a son.

Look, Chris,
I was a teenager once.

The dirty clothes,
the heavy metal...

it's all part of the package.

How long has your son
been running with the Turks?

You know,
he's targeting the Turks.

Your son could be
in real danger.

Is that it?

Did... did Barton
come here looking

for your son
so... so he could hurt him?

Look, Chris,
you need to talk to us,

'cause we can find Barton
and stop him.

We won't let him hurt your son,
but you have to coop...

Stop.
You don't understand, okay?

He would never hurt Kyle.

Mykes, that's why the money
was left at the lake.

This isn't about money.
It's about Kyle.

Yes.

Barton is Kyle's father,
isn't he?

He's trying to save him.

Inside every box,
some new piece of crap.

My aunt collects a lot of crap.

I'm trying to get her
on that show...

you know, the one
people collect the crap?

Hoarders?

Yeah.

They pay a lot?
I like money.

No.

Uh, this particular
piece of crap is sentimental.

It's not worth anything at all,
trust me.

So, um, you guys are going
through a lot of trouble

for something that's just crap.

Well, you're not the only one
with a crazy aunt.

Yeah, well,
I'm gonna dump these,

and I'll be right back.

Oh, we haven't checked
that box yet.

Hey!

Artie!

Hey!
Bluto's getting away!

He's heading upstairs!

Aah! Aah!

Artie, are you okay?

Claudia, I'm... I'm deaf.

Don't worry.

Stay.

Give it up, chum.
It's over.

Okay.

I'm sorry.
I just...

I thought maybe
this thing could pay

for the surgery my aunt needs.

She's got a bad heart,

and, uh, she's really old.

Ah!

Yeah!
No mercy!

Ah.

Pete and Myka are on their way.

We'll wait for their backup.

This is it, kid...
graduation.

Then you're part
of the family, right?

That must be Barton's son.

Now waste
this rent-a-cop punk.

We can't let this happen.

Let's go.

Hold it.

Whoa, whoa.

Barton!

Where's Davis?

Dead.

I'd rather not kill you, too,
but I will.

I'm taking my kid.

Are you trying to be a dad
all a sudden?

I came here to protect you.

These guys protect me.

They look out for me.
They're here for me.

Look at me.

I won't let you make
the same mistakes that I did.

You don't want to go to jail...
or worse.

That's touching, Barton.

But you should know by now
that no one leaves the crew.

Freeze!
United States Marshal!

Guns down!

You brought the cops, Barton?
That was stupid.

- Bye, Kyle.
- Kyle!

Ah!

- Dad!
- Go!

That bullet was meant
for you, Kyle.

Trust me, these people
are not your friends.

They're not your family.

Dad!

Help! Help!
Someone get us out of here!

We have to bag that bottle.

Before Barton and Kyle
get roasted.

Liam!

Get to high ground!

Get out of here
before the lava traps you.

I can get out over there.
I'm good. Go!

What are you gonna do,
little man?

And this...
is for my ankle!

All right.

- Yeah?
- I can hear.

- Yeah?
- I can hear everything!

I can hear you moaning.

- Oh, my God, you're moaning.
- Yeah.

- Oh, sorry.
- Yeah, it's all right.

- My ankle's killing me.
- Well, Claudia...

You know what'll make you
feel really good right now...

is a clown.

Who knew a Prius was so badass?

Well, I couldn't leave
without saying good-bye.

You'd never let me hear
the end of it.

I bet you're gonna miss
getting all those scores.

You still expect me to believe

this is just
an incendiary device?

Here's a shot in the dark.

You work
for a secret organization

that collects
supernatural objects

and locks them away
to protect mankind.

Why does everyone
want to talk today?

Come on!

Is your life always this crazy?

It's about right for a Monday.

Mykes...

Wait.
You're not thinking

what I think you're thinking,
are you?

I never think that far ahead.

Look, don't blame me
if you get swallowed up by lava.

Totally blaming you.

Dad!

- Hold my legs.
- All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Ah!

Aah!

We have got to stop cutting
these things so close.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Oh, honey,
you should go talk to him.

What am I supposed to say?

Before this, he was just
some... some guy in jail.

He's your dad.

He loves you.

Look, I-I don't know, Kyle,
but he did...

he did take a bullet
for you, right?

I mean, I think that rates
a good-bye.

Don't you?

Risking everything
to put you on the right path...

I think it's worth
getting to know him,

even if it's just
on visiting days.

Trust me, kid.
I know about these things.

Grab the chance
while you still got him.

Well...

Local PD
is rounding up the Turks.

The marshal got his man.
We got our thingy.

I'd say, all in all,
it's a pretty good day.

I talked to Artie.

The bottle is called,
uh, an amphora,

and it belonged
to a merchant from Pompeii

who survived Vesuvius.

You're not listening to a word
that I'm saying, are you?

I really like Liam, Mykes.

You know, I sure hope those
two crazy kids can work it out.

What do you think
they're talking about, huh...

guns, manhunts...

Gladiator movies?

So, about
that ridiculous theory...

Don't worry.
I'll keep your secret.

Anybody asks,
you work for the ATF.

Thanks.

You know, you knew
there was no way off that car.

You just didn't want me
to risk anything.

As it turns out,
I'm starting to think

sometimes
it's a really good thing

you can tell
when people are lying.

Thank you.

Turns out I'd rather not know

that you think my favorite tea
smells like cat urine, so...

See?

And by the way, nobody
looks good in skinny jeans.

You're lying again.

Okay, fine.
Bradley Cooper.

You're relentless.

I'm sorry, Liam.

I'm really terrible
at good-byes.

Well, Jersey, I'm just glad
we had a chance to do it right.

Much better color.

Okay, I am willing to admit
that one or two of the posters

will actually look good
in my room.

Okay, all of them!

- Artie kind of nailed it.
- Yeah, he did.

Happy birthday, Claud.

I heard all about you
and your little adventure, sir.

You run into you ex-boyfriend,
and you don't text me?

Oh, bad, bad gay bestie.

I brought you a present.

Forgiven!
I still want dirt, though.

Do I get to meet him?
Are you back together?

Details, repercussions.

There's no dirt.

Uh, we... we... we said good-bye,
and that's it.

Really?
That's it?

It was
a really good good-bye.

- Hey-oh!
- Steve!

Oh, my God, you slept with him!

Can we please not...

Oh, yeah!

The gay me is as much
of a player as the straight me.

Is there a difference?

Ms. Donovan!

May I ask you to direct
your attention to the stage?

Please, just no clown.

I can't believe
I'm saying this out loud,

but, ladies and gents,

please welcome
the Runaways' Cherie Currie!

How did you do this?

I hear there's a birthday girl
in the crowd tonight.

Claudia, you want to
come up join me up here?

[ ♪ Cherry Bomb ♪
BY Cherie Currie, Marky Ramone & Wayne Kramer ]

♪ Can't stay at home,
can't stay in school ♪

♪ Old folks say,
"you poor little fool" ♪

♪ Down the street,
I'm the girl next door ♪

♪ I'm the fox
you've been waiting for ♪

♪ Hello, Daddy ♪

♪ Hello, Mom ♪

♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪

♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

Artimus!
How do you know Cherie Currie?

I...

saved her life back in '79.

What?

Yes. You know her
song Secrets?

It's a little homage
to our adventure.

Whoa!

You, sir,
are an onion of mystery.

You have no idea.

♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ Hey, street boy ♪

♪ you want some style? ♪

♪ Your dead-end dreams
don't make you smile ♪

♪ she'll give you something
to live for ♪

♪ have you, grab you
till you're sore ♪

♪ hello, daddy ♪

♪ hello, mom ♪

♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪

♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

- Whoo!
- ♪ Cherry Bomb ♪

♪ Cherry Bomb ♪