Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 1, Episode 10 - Breakdown - full transcript

Previously on Warehouse 13...

That'll take you directly
to who has the sword,

and that will lead you...
to MacPherson.

Who?

I wasn't here when everything went down
between Artie and MacPherson,

but I know it was bad.

It's called the past rearing
its ugly head.

And someone out there
is running around using the...

That someone is MacPherson.

He wanted more than the sword.
He wanted to mess us up as a team.

Now it's up to you to stop him.



Hello.

Done! I win!

It's not a race.

Said the tortoise to the hare.

You know, in the story,
the tortoise actually wins.

It's a fairy tale.
How is a turtle gonna beat a rabbit?

It's not a fairy tale.
It's a fable, a life lesson.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Okay, here's a life lesson:
Pete fast, Pete win.

You all finished?

If you were making a bet,
who's faster, a turtle or a rabbit?

Yeah, you finished the report?

Yeah. Who are these going to?
Not Mrs. Frederic.

Yeah, she doesn't seem like
the paperwork type.



No, these go above
all our pay grades.

Who?

Myka, one day you will know all answers
to all questions, just not today.

Okay, fine.
Enjoy your top secrets.

I just gotta go.
I just can't leave that courier waiting.

What? A courier?

What is this, the Wells Fargo wagon?
Haven't you ever heard of email?

No, that's not nearly secure enough,
because we... It doesn't matter.

You are having a day
to yourselves, right?

Have fun. Claudia's doing chores.
And I'll see you later.

- Doing chores where?
- In the Warehouse.

Scalpel.

Thank you, nurse.

There's an awful lot of blood.

I need some suction.

Ganza! Good as new.

And get into the corners this time.
Don't make me push you.

Go on.

Warm.

Frosty goodness.

Okay, "repair auto-vac."
Slice-o-pie.

"Tighten and lubricate zip line."

Sounds kind of dirty
when you say it like that.

God, ancient junk-oleum.

You got to update this turd
someday, Artie.

Be careful!

Crap!

Crappity, crap, crap, crap!

Oh, my God! This is not good!

This is not gonna look good
on my report card!

Oh, my God. Okay, don't panic.
Oh, that's far.

WWAD.
What would Artie do?

Momentum! Got to get momentum.
All right.

Come on, momentum.

Let's go!

This sucks!

So if it isn't Mrs. Frederic,
then who's getting those reports?

I don't know, Mr. Frederic?

I brought donuts.

Donut.

Chocolate.

- What's "AD"?
- Artifact disturbance.

You know, you really need
to read the manual.

That can't be good.

Projet-SG (1.00)

I was just wondering...

I was hoping that you could
take a message to the higher-ups for me.

This MacPherson situation...

They prefer
a hands-off approach but...

You're talking.

- We don't talk.
- I didn't think that was a rule.

I just thought
you weren't particularly social.

I see I was right about that.

Oh, God.

She would like a word.

I'm sure she would.

Let's just follow the zip line.
She's bound to turn up.

I just hope she's okay, you know?

Claudia's like bamboo.

You can bend her all you want,
but she'll never break.

- This is hers.
- How do you know?

We have to get rid
of Artie's bedazzler.

Is that a dodgeball?

How did that get in here?

Hell, no.

Did that just do
what I think it did?

Gosh.

- Is that thing having babies or...?
- Yeah. Look.

- Let's get out of here.
- Okay.

Those things hit us
every time we look away.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with you on that,
so I don't end up with a concussion.

- The screen.
- What? Yes.

Let's... Let's read the screen.

"Baylor dodgeball.

"Used for military dexterity
and agility training.

Multiplies upon contact."
That we already know.

"Acquired after the...

Bludgeoning deaths
of five cadets in 1972."

- Bludgeoning is bad.
- Agreed.

Okay, there's a neutralizing station
around the corner. There should be.

Ready? On three.

Three!

Let's see how these puppies like
a neutralizer flea bath.

Why isn't it working?

Okay, this is bad.

What's happening?
Why isn't it working?

I don't know. It's busted.

Okay, what do we do now?

Plan "B."

- What's plan "B"?
- I was hoping that you knew.

Okay, wait.

What's that one?
"Breathe underwater."

"Hear colors."

"Grow fingernails fast."

"Summon locusts." That's not...

- They're dodgeballs.
- Yes, that's already established.

That's how you win at dodgeball.
You have to catch it.

No, these are too fast. What about
that whole "death by bludgeoning" thing?

You look away, right?
When they go for you, I'll catch one.

- We should go with plan "C".
- What's plan "C"?

- I run away, and you get pummeled.
- Look!

God!

Who smells like tuna fish now,
Ralph Brunsky?

Who?

Who?

I was just... I was having

a little playground flashback.

Hi, there. Welcome to Ted's.

I'm Theadora,
but everybody calls me Ted.

Party of one?

I'm meeting that woman right over there.
And it's rarely a party.

Arthur, have a seat.

- Why are we meeting here?
- We need to have a chat.

Pie of the day is banana cream.

I highly recommend it.
Made it myself.

Steak, bloody, black coffee,
two pieces of the pie.

Two?

Just house salad.

Leena's got me on a diet.

Maybe just one piece
of that pie, please.

She made it herself.

- How are things at the Warehouse?
- They're good. They're fine.

A little chaotic, but it's
a good kind of chaos.

And the missions?

No one's been killed.

You can't ask for more than that.
And we have an excellent retrieval rate.

What about the incidents
in Paris or Las Vegas or Colorado?

Mrs. Frederic, you know all about those.
Why are you asking me about them?

I'm forgetful.
Refresh my memory.

You were saying about Paris?

Claudia, there's half a donut
in the office.

How far she could've gotten
before the zip line snapped?

Could be the other end
of the Warehouse.

- There's an end?
- I hope so.

Okay, that was bigger than usual.

To hell with this.

I'm gonna see if I can spot her
from up here.

Well, be careful.

What is it?

Go down the aisle,
cross two over, and turn right.

It's Leena's.

But how?

And there's a Claudia-shaped hole
in the roof.

- Are you here?
- Wait, you guys...

Don't close the...

- door.
- Thank God, you're...

We were following the zip line,
and the...

No, I'm good. I mean, we're all trapped
in here for eternity,

but, otherwise I'm solid.

Okay.

Let's just get back to the office,
so we can fix the...

What?

What?

What the hell?

This is what I've been saying.

First the goo doesn't work.

Then one of those static balls
tries to cook us.

And now a clingy house.

The Warehouse
is in a bad mood today.

FYI, if anyone has to use the bathroom,
don't flush.

- Trust me.
- Okay, you know what?

We just have to wait
and think about this for a second.

New plan.

Scoring that an 8.5.

Next time you got to
stick the landing.

Let's all just stop and think
about this a second.

That's a good plan.

Did you try climbing back out
of the same hole that you fell in?

Came right back through the fireplace.
I don't recommend it.

And you trust Pete and Myka?

With my life.
They're consummate professionals.

I have to ask you, why, specific...

Excuse me. We're having a private...
Do you mind?

No. That's all right.

What is he...

Very sorry. Private party.

- Wait, what is going on?
- I thought they would never leave.

Okay, here we go. You be careful, now.
This is a hot plate.

I think we can begin.

Mr. Valda.

- Hello, Irene.
- Mr. Valda, nice to see you again.

- This is agent Nielsen.
- Just a minute.

- What is this?
- That's a house salad.

Bering and Lattimer
are consummate professionals.

Thank you, Theodora.

So as you stated in the past,

agents Bering and Lattimer's mission
was...

Do you mind telling me
exactly what is happening here?

Mr. Valda's asking the questions.
Please don't interrupt him.

I don't think
I'm gonna be answering any questions

until you tell me
what this is about.

Sometimes he forgets
we answer to a higher authority.

What higher authori...

ty?

The regents.
These are the regents?

The regents meet here?

- They do today.
- You really expect me to believe...

What exactly were you expecting,
agent Nielsen?

Hooded, cloaked figures
standing in half-light

around a perpetually burning flame?

He's seen too many movies.

I just would have thought that...
This waitress is a regent?

John Adams was a farmer.

Abraham Lincoln
was a small-town lawyer.

Plato, Socrates were teachers.

Jesus was a carpenter.

To equate judgment

and wisdom with occupation
is at best...

Insulting.

- That's not what I meant.
- I know what you meant.

Who would you have control
the Warehouse?

Kings? Popes?
Politicians?

- There'd be nothing left of it.
- No, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry. It's just...

- I didn't think.
- Yes.

That's one of the reasons
we needed to speak with you.

Your reluctance to think.

- Irene.
- Mrs. Frederic.

Thank you.

So as I was saying,

you stated in the past

that agents Bering
and Lattimer's mission was to

snag it, bag it, and tag it.
Correct?

Well, I didn't mean to denigrate
the job description.

Yet, in their brief tenure
as field agents,

they managed to destroy
James Braid's chair.

Let me explain.

- Lewis Carroll's mirror.
- That wasn't destroyed.

Your agents released
a malevolent entity

into the Warehouse,

allowing it access
to dangerous artifacts.

An accident.
It was a total accident.

It is not uncommon for artifacts
to be occasionally destroyed

for the greater good.

Agents Lattimer and Bering have shown
bravery and quick thinking.

It's an excellent team.

They're probably the best agents
that the Warehouse has ever had.

Their abilities are not
in question here.

- This is about me?
- Not only you.

Your former partner.

MacPherson.

Okay, so this version of the B&B

is in the Warehouse because...

It's an artifact.

Can this whole place be an artifact?
Like, is that even possible?

Pretty much anything is possible.

So maybe there was
an artifact in the original

that they couldn't take out, right?

So they just moved the whole thing.

And rebuilt the new one without it.

Look for anything here
that's different from our B&B.

All right!

That was cool. We had this little
group-think thing going on.

Gold stars all around.

I do not recognize that chair.

You were sleeping in it last week.
What about this ugly lamp?

Those lightbulbs burnt out
a month ago, but this...

this is new.

Or old.

It's fused to the wall. This is it.

It's a painting of this room.

And we can't leave this room.

Seems like quite the
coinky-dink, don't you think?

Yeah, how very Salvador Dali.
Do you think it keeping us here?

Maybe. Pete, look at the lamp.

- What?
- Okay, now look at the painting.

Claudia put it back
in a different spot.

It changed because of what you did.

Okay, okay, so maybe...

if I do something...

to the picture.

That happens.

Sick!

After you.

- Your turn.
- Don't mind if I do.

Don't even bother.

At least that was new.

Oh, man. You know what?
This thing is useless!

- Did I do that?
- Well, neither of us did.

I can see the Warehouse.

There's, a letter opener,
if I remember...

Yes!

Let's go.

All right, safe and sound.

What?

That.

Maybe we should have stayed inside.

- We need to get back to the office.
- No need.

"Why you wasting time
installing backup terminals

in the aisle, foolish girl?"

'cause you never know
when you might need one.

Nice.

Okay, looks like the problem
is in the gooery.

- What's a gooery?
- I'm guessing it's Claudia-speak

for the neutralizer
processing center.

- Right. Of course.
- Well, it's chapter 197 in the manual.

It's 1,000 pages long.
I'll wait for the movie.

Okay, the neutralizer processing center
is what pumps the purple goo

in the Warehouse,
creating a stability field.

It's like all the gak in here
are nuclear rods.

As long as there's coolant.
The gooery jakes out the coolant.

It keeps the artifacts from getting
all artifacty on their own.

Okay, so the gooery,
cool name by the way,

- needs to go back online.
- Man with a plan.

Okay, so does chapter 198
say what happens

- if we don't get it working again?
- The same thing that happens

to the nuclear rods without the coolant,
except probably worse.

I'm guessing when we get to 100%,
we have China syndrome.

We've got maybe half an hour left.

- What's the fastest way?
- Let me see.

We got to go through
aisle haddonfield-79,

then loop around carlsbad-22.

No, no, why don't we just go
straight through here?

'Cause that's the dark vault.

See, I know what that is.
Didn't read the manual.

That's where all
the dangerous stuff is.

Yeah, like, mega-dangerous,
dude. Mondo.

Okay, but we still can't loop around.
I say we take the risk.

I agree. It's not often that I agree,
but I agree.

Guys, if we're gonna do this thing,
let's do this thing.

Wait, no, no.

You're not going anywhere.
You're gonna stay put.

- I'm coming with.
- No, no. We're the agents.

We're agreed
to risk our lives, not you.

But this is my home too.
You might need my help.

She's right.
She has read the manual.

Am I never gonna
hear the end of that?

She knows this place, okay?
I say that she comes with.

- Please?
- Okay, fine, but you stick close.

And you do exactly as we say.

All right.
Suicide mission with the team.

I'm excited. I'm excited. Come on!

And in attempting to save
Joshua Donovan,

you placed his sister,
yet another civilian,

- in danger.
- I'm sorry. Excuse me, please.

If this is about Macpherson,
then why am I being asked

about cases that have absolutely
nothing to do with Macpherson?

I will ask the questions.

It might be wise to let this
run its course for now.

All right, fine.

Fine. Yes.

In saving Joshua,
I maybe put Claudia in a little...

- Danger. But I promised her that if...
- You promised?

You promised?

Sounds as if personal feelings became
involved in professional judgment.

This has been an issue
in the past, has it not?

It may have come up.

But his artifact-retrieval rate
is excellent.

It's the highest in years.

- Thank you.
- Simply the facts.

Very well, then.

The facts.

Thank you, Theadora.

Did you or did you not
on two separate occasions involve...

Daniel Dickinson,

a high-ranking secret
service officer,

in Warehouse 13 matters,

all of which were classified
at the highest level?

Yes.

We have a unique relationship
with the united states government.

A relationship that your actions
have now complicated.

I contacted
a fellow government official

in the normal course
of performing my job,

a job to which I have dedicated
the last 40 years of my life.

No one's questioning
your dedication, Arthur.

What we are questioning,
agent Nielsen,

is your future.

It's sealed with
an omega level security code.

- Can you hack it?
- Pope, catholic. You know the drill.

And...

Done.

Man, this place is creep-tastic.

Don't look, don't touch.
Just keep moving.

These objects are so dangerous,

they can only be controlled
by purple containment fields.

Why are the neutralizer systems
still working in here?

Backup generators,
'cause everything's so dangerous.

Don't worry,

they should hold up
long enough for us to...

realize my karma sucks.

We're starting to lose them.
Just keep moving.

- This is gonna take me a minute.
- Is it a different code?

Yeah, I got to use
an FTL-ASCII binary algorithm.

- Did you just make that up?
- Hey, little guy. What you in for?

Almost there.

Hang in there, guys.

We're good.

Okay, let's go.

Pete, what are you...
Wait, wait, wait, wait!

- Crap!
- Pete, what are you doing?

Pete, can you hear me?

Pete, are you okay?

Pete, are you okay?

Attention, Warehouse agents.

Mrs. Frederic.

Thank God.

Emergency evacuation required.

Repeat,
emergency evacuation required.

Mrs. F, we're down here.

Energy levels
approaching critical mass.

That's a recording.

Emergency evacuation required.

- That's the most I've heard her say.
- I know.

Well, this is a whole nother code level.
It's gonna take me a few minutes. Sorry.

You know what? Step aside.
Just stand over there.

Emergency evacuation required.

Okay, that was flat-out awesome.

- What are you doing, man? We gotta go.
- Wait! Wait! Stop, stop, stop!

The circle.

I think it's there for a reason.

Right?

What you doing?

Nothing.

He's looking at a typewriter.

It's not just any typewriter.
It's Sylvia Plath's.

She wrote this poem called "Ennui",

and ultimately she took
her own life in a...

I spent some serious time
in the Bell Jar.

I know who Sylvia Plath is.

Right.

What's that thing doing to him?

It's sucking the life out of him.

We have to get him
out of the containment field.

Pete, can you come here?

Why?

What's the point?

- What do we do?
- There's no time.

You go up to the gooery,
get it online.

I'll stay here and deal with this.

What, like, just on my own or...?

Claudia,
you know this Warehouse, okay?

I trust you.

Right. Yeah. No, I'll just...
I'll do it, then.

Get going. Tick tock.

- I have a few more questions.
- Do you? Really?

Yeah, I have a few of my own.

- Arthur, don't do anything foolish.
- This exercise is a pointless

and insulting waste of time.

- I asked you not to do this.
- If MacPherson is out there...

What? If? If? If?

I have a wound right here, right here,
in my shoulder that should prove it.

He's out there.

And he's planning something far worse
than any of you can imagine.

What are you doing about it?
You're tying my hands!

You leave us no choice.

You say MacPherson is a threat.

And you use that
to justify violating

Warehouse protocol
time and time again.

Pretty soon,

you're gonna be making up your own rules
just to sanction your actions.

Does that sound familiar,
agent Nielsen?

Sound like someone we both knew?

Mr. Valda, he knows the rules.

He knows that I'm forced to follow them.
Don't you see that?

And if I'm gonna take
MacPherson, and I am,

then rules have to be broken.

That's the only thing that'll work.
You know what's not gonna work?

Reining in the one person
that can stop him before it's too late.

Look at all of you.
You're not out in the field!

You're here, hiding in plain sight.

What are you doing? You're judging me.
You're judging my methods,

because...

You're afraid of him.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Mr. Valda, look at me. You tell me
right to my face, tell me I'm wrong.

Either fire me or kill me

or let me do my job.

You better make a decision,
and you better make it fast

before he makes it for you.

I believe the ball is in your court.

Okay, Pete, we're running
out of time here.

Okay, look, what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna take off my belt, all right?

I'm gonna throw it to you, you grab it,
and I'll pull you out of there.

Whatever.

Grab the belt.

Pete, grab the belt.

Pete, grab it.
Grab the belt!

You're a rabbit, right?

Pete, you're not a tortoise,
so win, win the race.

Just grab it.

Win, lose.

What's the diff?

Warehouse, give me something.

Give me something...

Thank you.

You again.

Are you okay?

What was that?

Okay, listen, we're running out of time.
The Warehouse is about to explode.

Okay, so just...
Come on.

Critical mass in five minutes.

Critical mass in five minutes.

Really?
Cliche much?

Gross.

Well, it's not so bad.

It kind of smells like chicken.

Critical mass in four minutes.

- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.

I'm just a little drained,
that's all.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah. You go.

Thank you.

Okay, ugly,
I'm just gonna pull you out.

This is slippery.

Gloves are coming off.

Now I want Italian food.

Not the plan.
Nope.

Critical mass in three minutes.

I know it looks like
I'm having a bunch of fun, but help!

Almost there.

- Don't touch. Way too sticky.
- What?

No point in us both
getting ground up.

What is this stuff?

If I remember properly,
it's hours of fun for the whole family.

They lied. It's not even
minutes of fun, really.

Where's Pete?
Still bored out of his mind?

No, he'll be here in a minute.
Just keep pulling.

Critical mass in two minutes.

Mind if I yell?
I'm gonna yell.

Help!

Chicks!

You have to find
something to cut this stuff!

By "stuff," you don't mean
our arms, right?

Don't touch it! It's sticky.

Attention, Warehouse agents,

energy levels are now
at omega level.

Critical mass in one minute.

We're boned.

- How much time did she just say?
- 50 seconds.

See? See?
Even on tape, she still...

Just please go find something!

My tool belt.

- What?
- Right there.

Get the snow globe.

I got it.

Use it to freeze the gears.

I got a better idea.
Hold on!

Hold on.

30 seconds.

You guys got to pull really hard.

Right...

now!

Attention, Warehouse agents,
emergency abated.

- Nice work.
- Thank you.

God.

How do you do that?

That was quite a performance.

Sounded better in my head.

So am I fired?

Worse.
They want you to stay.

Bering and Lattimer are not
the best agents we've ever had.

You are.

- They said that?
- It was said.

And they were smart enough
to believe me.

Thanks.

Simply the fact.

What about MacPherson?

Good hunting.
Try not to get yourself killed.

Don't try to be
all friendly with me now.

I just wanted to say thanks for...

you know, trusting me before.

I know what it's like to be your age
and have no one believe in you.

You're good.

No, you're really good.

You'll be fine.

Thanks.

You know, if you're not busy later,

maybe you could show me
how to do that... kick thing,

'cause I tried it on a light switch,
and I think I broke my toe.

And I know I broke the light switch.

That would be...
That would be fun, you know?

And maybe you could teach me
how to hack into the...

The grid?

- You wanna hack the grid?
- I wanna hack the grid.

I'm down.

I cleaned up the last of the mess.

You know, I bet Artie
won't even notice.

Won't notice what?

Your welcome-back surprise party.

Surprise!

You look surprised.
Doesn't he look surprised?

Tell me.

The zip line crashed,
and there were these dodgeballs...

And some glop got
in the gooery gears.

- We went to the dark vault...
- Things got sparky...

We fixed it.
We fixed everything.

- Good as new. It's all fixed.
- Totally.

How long did you have before
the Warehouse was gonna explode?

- Under a minute.
- More like 30 seconds.

That's lucky.

I once got there with 17,

and her voice gets really annoying

when she's counting down
seconds one at a time.

You didn't lose that thing
I had made for you, did you?

- Great. That's good.
- It survived.

Wait, are we not in trouble?

You guys had it
under control, right?

That we did, amigo.
That we did.

I don't know about you,
but I'm starving.

- Who wants Mexican?
- I do. Need tacos stat.

- ¿Tu venga?
- ¿Por que no?

No, I had pie.
Well, I almost had pie.

But go, go, go.
Enjoy yourselves.

Enjoy yourselves.

- Now I want pie.
- You always want pie.

Who doesn't want pie?

Maybe just bring me one taco?

Whatever.

And rest up...

Because you're gonna need it.