Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript
Secret Service Agents Pete Lattimer and Myka Bering are assigned to protect an exposition in Washington D.C., but they fail and a rare Aztec stone is stolen. However, they are individually assigned to a matter of national security by the mysterious Mrs. Irene Frederic and they meet each other in a warehouse in South Dakota, the Badlands. They are welcomed by the clumsy Arthur "Artie" Nelson, who shows them thousand of artifacts stored there to protect mankind against their powers. Pete and Myka travel to Iowa to investigate the reason why law student Cody Thomas has beaten his girlfriend Emily Krueger. Cody speaks in ancient Italian with the agents and soon they discover that a jewel that belonged to Lucrecia Borgia is affecting Cody and his godmother Lorna Soliday.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Now, in addition to all the museums and
art galleries and other great stuff
here in our
nation's capital,
there's one thing you're gonna love
probably more than anything else.
The dinosaurs.
(KIDS CHEERING)
This way.
Stick together.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Agent Bering?
Hi, Chet Greenfield.
Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
No problem.
My assistant said you double
checked everything yesterday.
I did, but I'd like to run a full
review before we lock it down.
Sure.
With you.
Me?
You're the boss. I'd like to avoid
any chain-of-command confusion.
I tell you, and it gets done.
Shall we start in the main hall?
Well, I understand, but I'm
pretty booked up at the moment.
I apologize for
the inconvenience.
I'll clear my schedule.
I'd appreciate it.
PETE: Morning, Kacey.
I just figured out who you are.
You're a fireman.
Mmm-hmm.
No? Come on.
You know absolutely
everything about me.
Well, that's because
you talk a lot.
Gordon, this is Agent Bering,
with the Secret Service.
Gordon Letanik?
And what's this?
An Aztec blood stone.
The boss of virgin sacrifices.
Handsome devil. I'm just cleaning
him for the reception tonight.
CHET: Agent Bering wants the Group D
artifacts moved to the west wall.
They're blocking an exit.
Lose Tuvalu and Malta,
move Britain to the back.
If it still doesn't fit, see me
and we'll cut something else.
Yes, sir.
I'll just finish up.
CHET: What's next?
The main floor bathrooms.
I'll need the plumbing
pulled again.
Ow!
I would try to sneak you in, but
the Secret Service will be there
and they can be jerks.
So I've heard.
Call you soon.
You promise?
Promise.
Bye now.
Bye.
Champagne?
Thank you.
Champagne?
Status check on Eagle.
(SOFT GROWLING)
Who's on
Emerald entrance?
Me, Morris.
Why aren't you
at Emerald?
Well, because I'm here.
How's home base?
We're calling
home base "Magenta."
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm not.
You changed the protocol.
I tweaked it.
I wrote it.
And I didn't use colors.
Why weren't you
at my briefing?
I was vetting
one of the servers.
Screwing off is
more like it.
Well, you say potato.
Get back to Emerald.
You're not my superior.
Dickinson gave this to me.
I'm running it.
Meeka.
Myka.
Myka.
Myka.
Myka.
Mmm-hmm.
I get vibes.
Sorry?
This isn't some run and gun
that you're used to in Denver.
Get to the point,
Lattimer.
Dickinson gave you this
shindig with my protocol
because my specialty
is logistics, framing.
And I kid you not, there is
something really off in here.
AGENT: Eagle at Magenta. Mr.
President, wait a moment, please.
This is Bering,
Eagle is free to enter.
Negative, negative.
This is Lattimer.
Hold Eagle at five
until further. Copy?
AGENT: Copy that.
Holding Eagle.
Get back to Emerald.
Look, Myka,
why don't you pull your head out of
your "Magenta" and feel the room?
Something's off.
Listen, Showboat.
Nothing's off.
The room is fine. Everything is fine.
Now take your vibe and go.
Enjoy your party.
I will.
I want a perimeter
check ASAP.
(SOFT GROWLING)
Emerald clear.
AGENT 1: Peach clear.
AGENT 2: Orange clear.
AGENT 3: Gold clear.
AGENT 4: Crimson clear.
(BUZZING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Blood.
Pete? What are
you doing here?
Working.
(GASPS)
Is there a fire?
Mmm-mmm.
Excuse me, sir.
Wait just a second.
Secret Service.
This is...
Gotta go. Excuse me!
Excuse me!
That's an okay
for Eagle to enter.
AGENT: Affirmative.
(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Clear Eagle.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
Freeze!
Drop the knife.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Hold your fire!
Seriously, Gordon,
drop the knife.
Drop that.
Whatever it is.
Can't do that, Pete.
Weapon.
We're done here.
Hey!
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHING)
Tell me you
found the guy.
The guy you said
stole the rock?
We're gonna
need a sample.
Come on, Dickinson.
Well, you said, among many strange
things, that the rock was bleeding.
It was.
Taxpayers will probably wanna
know if you were high,
paranoid, or just part
of an Aztec art theft ring.
In the meantime, you're suspended,
with pay, for two weeks
till we get this
thing worked out.
What about Morris?
He says nothing
happened at Emerald.
Okay, can we stop
with the colors already?
(SIGHING) What about
the guy with the knife?
What? Letanik?
Yes.
He's in a coma.
Docs don't know why or how
long that's gonna last.
And Bering?
Myka's being thanked personally by
the President and the First Lady.
Of course she is.
She's going places.
You, on the other hand,
you're going to the bathroom.
That's funny.
Ha, ha.
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
Mr. Lattimer.
My name's Frederic.
Frederic what?
Mrs. Frederic.
Well, that's a relief.
I'm with the government.
I'm here on a matter of national security.
What's that?
An invitation
to endless wonder.
Okay, could you sound
a little more creepy?
Read it.
Please note the action code.
It is legitimate.
You're part of
my bailiwick now.
Your bailiwick?
You're working for me.
For you?
Am I stuttering?
No, ma'am.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right, I get it. I get it.
This is a joke, right?
Dickinson put you guys up.
This is Dickinson being funny, right?
Do I look like a joke,
Mr. Lattimer?
No.
You're to be in South Dakota at those
coordinates, at noon tomorrow.
You will mention our meeting and
your pending assignment to no one.
Is that understood?
How long am I gonna
be in South Dakota?
Indefinitely.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, look. I've got a life here.
Really?
Yeah. I've got
things.
Pack light, Mr. Lattimer.
We'll ship what you need and store the rest.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Prepare
to turn right in 100 feet.
Turn right now.
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
You have missed
your turn. Go back.
Stop.
Turn right.
Destination straight ahead.
You've got to
be kidding me.
(COW MOOING)
PETE: Yeah.
Endless wonder.
Hello!
It's Agent Lattimer.
I'm here!
Hello!
(WHOOSHING)
Oh, great.
(COW MOOING)
I heard you
were suspended.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Why are you here?
I was ordered here
last night. Mrs. Frederic.
Yes.
Yeah.
Said it was a matter of
national security.
National security.
Right.
(DOOR OPENING)
(BIRD CALLING)
How are you guys doing?
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to fix the fish.
(EXCLAIMING)
Hey, stop right there.
What are you doing?
This is the guy. The one from last night.
The guy who stole the rock.
You stole the rock.
It's a blood stone.
It's safe.
It's inside the building.
Yeah, well, it's the property
of the museum.
ARTIE: And that museum is property of the U.
S. Government.
And so is the Warehouse.
And so am I.
Secret Service. I also work for Mrs.
Frederic. Arthur Nielsen.
You can call me Artie.
Got some ID?
No. We take the Secret part
seriously around here.
Oh, I just wanted to thank you for your
assistance in last night's retrieval.
That was very good.
Hey, did you throw
that football at me?
You weren't here when I threw it.
It takes a while to circle back.
Come on inside.
I'll show you around.
Around what?
What am I doing here?
I'll explain everything
inside. Come on.
I made cookies.
Ooh!
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
Really, it's okay.
Go inside. Don't go far!
Okay, come on in.
Wait for me at the bottom of the stairs.
Go, go, go. It's fine.
Don't touch anything.
ARTIE: Don't touch the bombs.
Hold this. Hold it.
Come on.
It's okay.
(BEEPING)
ARTIE: Right this way.
Miss Bering, Mr. Lattimer,
welcome to Warehouse 13.
I'm thrilled
you're on the team.
What team?
What is this place?
Officially, K39ZZZ,
on the North American grid.
But I like to think of it
as America's attic.
Pete, close the door.
Tell me exactly
what I'm doing here.
Exactly?
That's a little...
Yeah. Well,
to put it plainly,
you're both joining me as fellow
gatherers and protectors of secrets.
Put it plainer.
(STAMMERING)
This warehouse...
Look, the Warehouse needs you.
Pete, don't touch.
It needs your
combined talents.
I mean, he's intuitive, and you've
got a scrupulous eye for detail.
He's scattershot, see?
You're meticulous. You look, he leaps.
There's been a mistake.
I'm too valuable to be wasted here.
No offense.
Of course not.
Can I use your
phone, please?
Mine?
It's broken.
Well, I have to make
a phone call, so...
There's no signal here.
(SIGHS)
Just pull the door,
and you'll be... Now.
There you go.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I think she had
other plans.
(SIGHING) So did I.
(SIGHS)
You want juice
or are you a milk person?
(SIGHING) You know
what I'd really like?
Oh, I do indeed, but
falling off the wagon
may not be the best
option at this point.
Milk it is.
Yeah.
PETE: That's Mrs. Frederic.
ARTIE: Long time ago.
She looks
exactly the same.
Odd, isn't it?
You don't want a cookie?
Yeah.
Okay, so who
are these guys?
Former colleagues.
And where
are they now?
Well, this one and
this one are dead.
This one, a mental
institution in Germany.
And this last one,
disappeared.
One day I'll find him.
Ted, these are two of my best agents.
How can you not know?
I'm looking at the order.
You processed it. How can you not know?
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hold on. Dickinson.
Sir, it's Myka Bering.
Myka.
Sir, I have a little
situation here.
I'm not sure...
Yeah, yeah.
You know what? I'm looking at
the transfer order right now.
The name on here
is Frederic.
You're transferred to where?
Where are you?
Well, I'm in
South Dakota.
Where?
South Dakota.
What are you doing
in South Dakota?
You don't know about this?
No.
Who is Frederic?
(STATIC CRACKLING)
Sir? Sir?
Myka? Myka?
Who's this Frederic?
Sir! Yes, yes.
She handed me
orders last night
to come to a warehouse
in South Dakota.
The order code was solid,
and Lattimer's here, too.
Look, I'm requesting an immediate
stand down and transfer back to D.C.
Myka. Myka, I can't do that.
This order trumps me.
Hold on and I will get
you back here ASAP.
What should I do?
Follow orders.
Those orders, both of you.
And how long will this take?
Sir? Sir? Are you there?
That's a pile of crap.
No kidding.
No, I'm not kidding.
You're actually standing
in a big pile of cow manure.
(FLIES BUZZING)
Oatmeal Scotchie?
No, thank you.
I don't eat sugar.
Good for you.
Listen,
please don't think of this assignment
as some sort of punishment.
Can you hold this?
What?
Your presence here is not really a reaction
to what happened to you in Denver.
So...
I got a commendation for
what happened in Denver.
Yes, you did.
It's time for the nickel tour. Come on.
The order trumps
Dickinson?
ARTIE: The first Warehouse
13 was built in '98.
So we're stuck.
Until he works out
a transfer, yes.
1898.
We didn't have a handle on how to store stuff.
It burned down.
Some remodeling and excavations
were necessary as the years went on
to accommodate the arrival of more and
more and more and more artifacts.
What's stored
here exactly?
Oh, this and that,
bric-a-brac.
Some things along the lines of
last night's rock and roll.
I'm talking about the blood stone.
Both hands on the bar, please.
I think
I'll survive a crash.
(BOTH SNICKERING)
No, that's not a safety bar, it's a conduit.
You and Pete are the power source.
Your combined electrical
energy makes this thing move.
It's fine, it's fine.
Look, Thomas Edison built this automobile
for Henry Ford as a proof of concept,
and it's perfectly safe.
Trust me.
Put your hands on the bar.
Put your hands on the bar.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
We need both of you.
Hands on the bar,
Myka. Thank you.
Edison, he wanted
Ford to let go of oil.
But Ford, no, no, he stuck with it
because it ruined his engines faster.
People had to
keep buying them.
PETE: What is that?
ARTIE: What? Oh!
That is Training Flight 22.
We pulled that from
the Bermuda Triangle.
The Triangle has been trying
to pull it back ever since.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Duck and cover.
Ow.
ARTIE: It's harmless.
Inventory kicks up a little
static from time to time.
Why are you grinning?
Well, don't you think
this stuff is kind of cool?
What?
Where is he?
I don't know.
He'll be back.
Artie! Hello?
We should stick together.
Right this way, please.
Pete. Many of the items in here,
kind of like the blood stone,
Pete, that you wrestled
with last night.
They channel a tangential
energy, well...
Tangential energy is
kind of like the energy
that forced the museum
employee last night into...
Well, into almost
committing murder.
So how does that happen?
Yeah, we're not really
exactly sure how.
It goes back to Einstein,
or E equals...
Yeah, okay.
Somehow the matter that is in here
has just enough energy
to move other matter.
You know, like you.
Move me where?
Into trouble.
Bunk.
Is gravity bunk?
Magnetism?
These are mysterious forces, that we live
with every day, but we can't explain them.
Can you even explain to me
how a radio works? Huh?
No. And you don't really care, as long
as you get the traffic report, right?
But if a radio landed in the
hands of Thomas Jefferson,
you know what Jefferson would do?
He would just lock it up.
Until he figured out it wasn't gonna kill him.
And that is exactly what we do here.
We take the unexplained
(CRASHING)
And we just safely
tuck it away
in this supersized
Pandora's box.
Metaphorically speaking.
Well, actually, Pandora's
box is over in aisle 989 B.
Empty, of course.
(BEEPS)
Pete, do the world a favor
and clear your mind.
Well, that should be easy.
Whoa!
Wow. How did that get there?
Because I didn't pick that thing up.
It still amazes me
how that thing moves.
What? What?
What is it?
Don't talk, don't hope,
don't wish for anything.
That kettle
grants wishes?
Yes. Now, Pete,
look at me.
Just keep your eyes
on me. Okay.
Open it.
Pete! Pete.
This is a neutralizer.
You can think of this as a fire
extinguisher for objects that "act up."
Now, look, I want you
to come over here,
I want you to drop that
very slowly, right in here.
Now, listen, there are items around
here, if you were to put it in there,
they would generate
a big flash,
but this little thing will
probably be a little spark.
But you may flinch,
and I don't want you to,
'cause you could
drop it. Okay?
Well, I have a wish.
Don't!
(GASPS)
You wished for a ferret?
No.
That was already
in the thing.
I don't think so.
You wished for a transfer,
didn't you?
Mmm.
Impossible wishes, wishes
that can never be granted,
they produce a ferret.
Don't ask me why.
My first year here, the whole
place was crawling with ferrets.
I swear, I didn't
pick that thing up.
No, I know, I know.
Not everybody is affected
by everything. Here, okay?
You have to be
metaphysically predisposed.
And the external energies,
they have to be in alignment.
This is just
a convergence thing.
Right, sure, okay.
So we're all
converged here,
but I still have no idea
what I'm supposed to do.
What you're
supposed to do is
hunt down whatever is threatening
to ruin the world's day,
neutralize it
and bring it here.
You gotta snag it
and bag it and tag it.
This is crazy!
This is crazy!
You know, I don't...
It could be, you know, crazy fun.
That's exactly the attitude that
brought you to our attention.
Do you guys want
a cookie for the road?
What road?
There's rooms for you
at Leena's Bed & Breakfast.
It's about seven miles down the road
that way, and I'll join you there
in the morning, and I'II...
I'll just join you there in the morning.
Stay close!
Seriously, Lattimer, there's been
a serious screw-up. I'm serious.
And now you
have a ferret.
What?
MYKA: This town, is
this a town or what?
What's the name of it?
PETE: Well,
it's more like a street.
So it says here to turn
left at Buffalo Station.
What? No, no, no.
It's "Buffalo Statue."
It says "Buffalo Statue."
Well, your penmanship
is atrocious.
I don't need wise... You know, that's...
You know, don't do that.
Can you finish
a sentence?
A full thought?
Would you really
like me to?
Wait. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No, no, no.
Don't call Dickinson.
He hates
being pestered.
I don't pester.
Well, when he knows
something, he'll call.
Clearly the phrase "rolling with the
punches" is not in your vocabulary,
so may I make
a suggestion?
What might that be?
Unbunch your panties,
and make the best
of a bad situation.
And how do I do that?
Which part?
You're a freak.
Hello.
I'm Leena.
You must be Pete and Myka.
Come in. I've got
your rooms ready.
We serve three meals,
9:00, noon, and 5:00.
We've got radios
in the rooms. No TVs.
No in-room phones, but there is one there
at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway.
You may choose
any room.
Is there anywhere I can get a drink?
I mean, a drink drink?
What would you like?
Whiskey neat.
I can do that.
Please do that.
She hates traveling.
(FERRET CHITTERING)
She loves traveling.
It's the places she's traveled
to that's the problem.
Ah.
Can I get you anything?
No, I'm fine.
Yep, yep.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Is everything okay?
You're a lucky man, Pete.
I am?
You're in tune.
Very rare.
I don't know what that...
Look, Leena, are you
connected to Artie?
Let me know if your bed
is big enough for you.
(SIGHING)
(CHITTERING)
(DIALING)
(CLATTERING)
(MUMBLING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(SIGHING)
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
How'd it go today?
Not bad.
Lattimer seems interested.
And Miss Bering, not so much.
Mmm. Did you select
a case for them?
Yeah. Listen, I don't
mean any disrespect,
but are we really sure that these
are the people? The right people?
Because...
Artie.
I'm fully aware of their baggage.
Now, what's the real problem?
Artie, take yourself off the hook.
Their fate falls on me.
You say that...
Dickinson wants them back.
You've got to get them locked in.
Can't sleep?
Yeah. Me neither.
We don't have to talk.
So...
Do you always eat
when you're stressed?
Do you always
talk this much?
You know, no light from the
city to get in the way.
Nothing but sky.
This time of the year, we get Leo,
Cygnus, Sagittarius.
You know this how?
My dad and I
used to camp a lot.
Where is he now?
(SIGHING)
Sorry.
What about your folks?
MYKA: Colorado Springs.
They own a bookstore
called Bering & Sons.
How many brothers?
No brothers. Just me.
My dad thought the "and
Sons" sounded classier.
Well, he must be proud of you.
Mom is.
Well, did protecting the President of
the United States turn him around?
Yeah. This won't.
From Denver to D.C.
To a warehouse security guard in six months.
Now, there's
a career trajectory.
Look, about Denver,
I didn't mean to spit
on that last night.
What you did there was
better than textbook.
We're not discussing that.
Ever.
All right, well, I'm
gonna go back upstairs
and not sleep some more.
Hey.
Earlier, did you hear a...
Hear what?
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
Never mind.
Dickinson will call.
He better.
Location, time,
Seever City.
Come on.
So it's gonna be you, then.
Okay, Cody Thomas,
a law school grad student,
University of Southern Iowa.
Iowa?
Yeah, Iowa.
His parents were
killed in a plane crash.
He is a really good kid.
He's been putting himself through
college with the settlement.
Why are we going to Iowa?
To find whatever it is that
pushed this kid over the edge.
What edge?
He struck his girlfriend.
That's it?
So far.
Look, for the past five days, I have
been reviewing 11 possible cases,
looking for whatever doesn't fit.
Something out of place,
like blood on a marble floor
that leads to a man with a knife
because of a rock
that isn't just a rock.
I've got a hunch
that this is the one.
What exactly are
we looking for?
Well, you tell me.
It's bigger than a breadbox.
Or smaller.
If there is an artifact
at the heart of this,
then I've prepared a few questions
for Cody that might reveal it.
Actually, it's more
than a few questions, but...
"Do you have the constant feeling
that today is yesterday?"
Okay, yeah. See, if they
say yes, then we could...
They probably won't say yes.
It's unlikely.
But we could be
dealing with time slip.
Or a hangover.
(EXCLAIMS)
Please take
this seriously.
I had a run-in with a Mayan
calendar a few years ago,
and that question
saved my life,
and the two agents that were
with me were not quite so lucky.
What happened to them?
Their clocks stopped.
So, what? They died?
Well, they'll wish they had
in 100 years or so. Anyway...
Neutralizer.
The purple stuff.
If you find the artifact,
just drown it in there,
like this, if you can.
And if it's too big, you just take
this and throw it, and then call me.
And don't ask me how it works,
because I have no idea.
And it doesn't always work.
And don't ingest that stuff, because you'II...
You'll see things.
And we'll stay in contact with these.
I have one just like it.
Two-way video
communication?
ARTIE: I call
it a Farnsworth.
It's named after Philo Farnsworth,
who invented that in 1929,
right after he invented
the television.
Isn't that remarkable?
I mean, anyway,
if you want to talk to me,
just press that button.
(PETE CHUCKLING)
What is that?
(CHUCKLING)
Nikola Tesla,
Thomas Edison's chief rival
or nemesis, depending...
He cooked this up as an
alternative to bullets.
It's really a kind
of electric stun gun.
It's a polyphase
ass-kicker.
Now, that's...
Yeah. Just here.
Just don't put it past two to begin with.
That's the trigger, right there.
You should practice with it first.
One blast and
down you go.
Don't point that at me.
Keep your finger away.
Just don't.
MYKA: Stop.
Give him the gun.
And also, it zaps
short-term memory,
which is why Agent Morris doesn't
remember seeing me at the museum.
And that's it.
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's what?
Go to Iowa.
Talk to Cody.
Find the artifact if it exists.
Neutralize it, bring it back.
Oh, and don't get killed.
(SIGHS)
How's her aura?
Tortured.
Guilt and grief, mostly.
She has a soft spot for the ferret, though.
Just like you.
Now, that was
a long time ago.
Hmm. You haven't
changed that much.
She had a stowaway.
I found this in her room.
Oh, Lord. That's
Houdini's wallet.
Fingers!
Okay.
That was a bad spike.
That landed on something with her.
I requisitioned mesh screens for
those shelves ten years ago.
And every year since.
I've told you this.
A few times.
(SIGHING) You'd think Mrs.
Frederic could maybe get that done.
Don't look at me.
TRAVIS: Well, I had the FBI in here a
while ago on a suspected terrorist thing.
All egos out to here and all looking
like they're wearing daddy's suit.
Well, we feel
the same way.
Ah, just let me know if
this thing's going federal
so I can get my staff
prepared for the media.
It's not going federal.
We just have a few questions
and then we're gone.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
It's Dickinson.
Oh. It'll just be a sec.
Yeah, this is Bering.
DICKINSON:
Myka, how you doing?
Well, we're in Iowa
now, on assignment.
Any luck in
getting us back?
Bad news is, not so far.
Good news is, I've got a
line on this Frederic woman.
She worked for the Treasury Department
in the 1950s, after that...
Well, it's not
the same woman.
The woman we met
was younger.
I've got a Frederic in charge
of some sort of secret sandbox.
It's being funded from a black ops
budget I'm still trying to source.
Well, I can fill you in.
No, no, no.
These lines aren't secure.
Listen to me.
I'm doing everything I can
to get you and Pete
back here. 48 hours, tops.
So just follow your current
orders and keep your head down.
Wait, sir! Sir?
So, how'd he sound?
Forty-eight hours.
Yeah, but how'd he sound?
Not good.
What kind of questions?
They're sort of diagnostic.
Diagnostic. What,
like I'm sick?
You're Secret
Service doctors?
No.
Question number one.
"Have you recently encountered something
that you feel has affected your life?"
Something like what?
An object of some kind.
Do handcuffs count?
No. Question number two.
"While looking up, do you have
the sensation of falling?"
Cody?
No. I don't feel
like I'm falling.
Next question.
Okay, question
number three.
"Have you recently smelled something
that could best be described as
"fudge when
there is no fudge?"
Fudge? Is that...
Question four. "Do you ever feel like
this might be a colossal waste of time?"
Okay, let's...
Yeah. Okay.
We're done with
those questions, Cody.
Yes.
PETE: What do you think
happened with your girlfriend?
What's her name?
I don't know.
Emily.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
I was in class, talking to the
professor about some mock trial thing.
I woke up here, and they
told me I beat Emily up.
They let you
see a doctor?
Yeah.
Says I'm fine.
And no...
No alcohol or drugs?
No, I swear.
No history of blackouts?
No. This isn't me.
I would never hurt Emily.
This isn't me. This isn't...
Cody?
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Get him out of here!
OFFICER 1: Right, let's go.
OFFICER 2: We got him, sir.
Let's get him down
to secure lockup.
Let's go.
(PANTING)
PETE: Well,
that was scary.
SOLIDAY: (QUIETLY) You don't need to worry
about anything. I'm gonna take care of it.
Just hang in there.
I'm gonna get you out of here soon.
OFFICER: Can you come
this way, son?
Hello. I'm Lorna Soliday.
I'm Cody's lawyer.
And did Travis call you?
Sheriff Travis
respects the law,
and he doesn't like being
railroaded by federal agents.
Are you that hands-on
with all your clients?
No. Just my godson.
So you knew his parents.
Very well.
And neither Cody nor I will be
answering any more questions
until I know
what this is about.
We're interested
in Cody's behavior.
His violent behavior.
As in, where's
it coming from?
What is this? Someone pegged him
as a threat to the President?
Not yet.
Not ever.
That's not Cody.
It was Cody that just destroyed
that table in there.
Not to mention what he
did to his girlfriend.
Does the Secret Service
investigate every case
of battery among
college students?
Nope. Just this one.
So where'd the Italian come in?
What do you mean?
He spoke Italian in there, just before
he decided that the interview was over.
I don't know
anything about that.
Well, has Cody come into contact with
anything unusual, say, in the past few days?
Yes. You two.
That was
a serious question.
That was a serious answer.
Any more questions, Sheriff
Travis has my number.
You felt that, right?
I'm not sure
what you mean.
It got hot.
Yeah.
But you knew to get me to the
floor before he freaked out.
(SIGHS)
The vibe.
Right.
Okay, so how do
those things work?
Is there false alarms or...
It happens all the time.
So why do you trust them?
Well...
One time I didn't,
and I should have.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
You're right.
It's Italian, sort of.
(CODY SPEAKING ITALIAN)
I mean, this is either part gibberish.
I don't know.
It's some kind
of code, maybe.
And my software can barely
translate any of this.
I mean,
"dolore" means "pain."
And a tech search
came up with nothing.
There's no films, no books,
no plays, no songs, no poems.
Okay, so what now?
Well, you're right
beside a college campus.
You can go find somebody
who speaks Italian.
(STUTTERING)
Artie. Hello? Hello?
Excuse me.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Professor Marzotto?
Yes.
We're with the
Secret Service.
Oh, my.
(CODY SPEAKING ITALIAN)
It's an old construction.
15th century.
It's not working-class
Italian either.
This is high brow.
PETE: So
what's he saying?
Roughly?
"If people knew
the reasons for my fear,
"they'd be able to
understand my pain."
Do you visit
Italy a lot?
I haven't been back
in nearly two years.
But you're sure this
translation is correct.
I'm a Renaissance scholar.
I'm sure.
PETE: Oh!
One last question.
Do you know a student here
named Cody Thomas?
I know of him. I read about him in the paper.
It's a sad story, that.
How so?
Well, you know.
He was a good kid.
From what I heard, he had
some sort of a breakdown.
All right. Well, if we need you
to translate anything else...
I'd be more than
happy to help.
You can reach me
at that number.
Great. Thank you.
He's hiding something.
Did you see his neck pulse?
Bang, bang, bang.
Don't you have a
scrupulous eye for detail.
And he shelves his books
alphabetically.
I didn't notice that.
He puts pens in one cup,
pencils in another.
Okay. Now you're
scaring me.
Did you see where he put his
pen right before we left?
Was Sherlock Holmes a big deal
at your parents' bookstore?
Something got
Marzotto going.
And you.
I don't like
being lied to.
I'll remember that.
So what, you want to go
back and hit him again?
No, I want
a hard phone line.
I thought this was
a colossal waste of time.
Not anymore.
Hey, hold up.
Do you always
walk so fast?
Yes, I do.
Are you coming?
Harris.
OPERATOR: I have an incoming
code Madrid for Minnie Harris.
Reply 6955.
Hi, Minnie.
Hey, hotshot.
Hey, how's the White House?
You know, it's a lot smaller
than it looks on TV.
How are you?
Chad and I
are dating.
Very nice.
Yes, it is.
Look, I need
some information.
Okay, shoot.
Edward Marzotto.
One "Z" two "T's."
He's a professor
at Southern Iowa University.
Turnaround?
I need it now.
Sorry, I know this is big.
It's not a problem.
You okay to hang on and I'll
give you the highlights?
For sure.
Okay, thanks.
Hang on.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Government agents are asking me
lots of questions I can't answer
without getting you and me
into a lot of trouble.
It's about the book.
Your boyfriend
is quoting from it.
How's Myka?
Edgy, irritable.
You know, Myka.
Why?
Just checking.
Hey, listen, there's something
I forgot to mention before.
What?
Just before
Cody got physical,
there was
some kind of a...
I don't know, a heat wave.
It just rolled right off of him.
This happen
after a question?
No, he was talking about his
girlfriend, Emily Krueger.
You talked to her, right?
No, not yet.
All right. Listen.
I'm gonna check out
that heat thing.
I'm gonna see if that
relates to anything.
And meanwhile, what
was that translation?
"If people knew the
reasons for my fear,
"they would be able
to understand my pain."
Hello? Artie. Hey.
Do you want me to...
Do you want me
to run that again?
I got it.
Okay, Pete, you're positive
that's the translation?
Absolutely positive?
Yeah, I mean,
that's what Marzotto said.
Okay, I'll call you back.
PETE: Okay.
HARRIS: Myka?
Got some good stuff. Yeah.
Edward Melville Marzotto.
Melville?
Yeah, I know.
Anyway, the man loves his Italian art.
Just got back from Italy eight
weeks ago, and the cops think...
(STATIC CRACKLING)
Minnie?
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
Hey.
Slow down.
Walk faster.
So what'd
you find out?
Hey, what happened in there?
Myka, hey. Tell me.
I heard a...
I thought I heard a voice
over the phone that I really
should not be hearing.
Same thing you
heard at Leena's.
Look, sometimes we hear things and
see things that aren't there.
What I heard can't be there.
It can't be.
Then it's not. I mean, maybe
it's post-traumatic stress.
(CHUCKLES)
I read the press release
of what went down in Denver.
Lives were saved.
Lives were lost.
You're a hero.
You're gonna put me on a
psych eval, aren't you?
Why would I do that?
Because you need to be able
to depend on your partner.
All right. Well, then,
you're just gonna have to depend
on me to know that you're okay.
We're gonna finish this case,
we're gonna get out of here.
We will.
I don't know if I can.
I don't even know
what we're looking for.
Yes, you do.
I mean,
whatever doesn't fit.
You know, something
that's out of place.
Marzotto.
Marzotto lied to us.
He said that the last time
he was in Italy was...
Two years ago.
Yeah, my contact told me
it was eight weeks ago.
(LAUGHING)
How about that?
I wonder what else
he lied about.
I guess we need
more information.
Yes, we do.
Cody's girlfriend.
Emily Krueger.
I need a picture!
Just give me a picture!
(BEEPING)
Give me a picture.
Don't make me
come down there!
All right.
I know this
is awkward.
And I feel terrible,
but...
You can't keep it.
I don't know what I was thinking
even taking it out of Italy,
but it has to go back.
I'm going to
Rome next week.
And that's coming with me.
What's that for?
(GASPING)
(MUTTERING)
I hate this part.
(GRUNTING)
Ow!
Emily, you're late.
Sorry.
We were setting up
for the party.
Can I help you?
Emily Krueger?
Yes.
I know your pain,
trust me. Okay.
Oh!
MYKA: We saw you leaving Professor
Marzotto's office, didn't we?
Oh. Right. I was there for a
meeting for the play. I'm in it.
Marzotto's sort of
a technical advisor.
Does he know about your
relationship with Cody?
He knows what
happened. Why?
Huh. Because when we talked to him
about Cody, he didn't mention you.
Or that you'd just
been to see him.
Maybe he was trying
to protect my privacy.
Why did you guys
mention Cody?
We needed
something translated.
Yeah, have you ever heard
Cody speak Italian?
Just once,
when he did this.
How long have
you known Cody?
Since the eighth grade.
Got serious after
his parents died.
I came here for theater.
He applied for law school.
His godmother
helped him get in.
Lorna Soliday?
You met her?
Does she have
any family?
Just Cody.
And that's not
even real family.
She made sure that he got that big
settlement when his parents died.
(READING IN ITALIAN)
Stop.
Do you know
what it means?
"If people knew
the reasons for my fear,
"they would be able
to understand my pain."
Does that mean
anything to you?
Only that he's afraid of
abandonment and it scares him.
Maybe he thought that I was
spending too much time on the play.
I don't know.
Can I go back to work now?
Yes.
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
Ten to one, this has nothing to do
with the hocus pocus Artie's pushing.
How about
a billion to one?
How about a cute girl
in a play by Machiavelli
makes her insecure
boyfriend freak out?
Or try this. Emily, an actress,
is a ruthless gold digger.
She'd know which buttons to
push on her insecure boyfriend
to get him mad enough
to hit her. Right?
She goes for the money.
(EXCLAIMS)
Sues him for it.
What kind of women
do you date?
(SIREN WAILING)
Pete? Pete!
(ARTIE GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMING SOFTLY)
Pete. Pete.
It's Marzotto.
What?
The attendant said he heard him speaking
Italian before he doused himself.
Hey. Hey! Hold on.
Why'd you talk
to Marzotto?
Who told you that?
Secret Service hits campus, and people notice.
And now he's dead.
Before this,
you said something
to make Cody Thomas want
to knock your heads off.
Something you
want to tell me?
We should talk
about this later.
All right, let me tell
you something...
Sure.
Tell me something
that makes it seem
like I couldn't kick your ass
in front of your men.
Boys, boys, can we put our badges
back in our pants, please?
Sheriff.
What was that?
We gotta get
to Marzotto's office.
Yeah, and how are we gonna get in?
Hotshot.
What the hell is
Warehouse 13?
We haven't met.
I'm Mrs. Frederic.
How'd you get in here?
Through a door.
Warehouse 13,
is it yours?
It's mine.
And so are
Lattimer and Bering.
Excuse me?
Can I ask you something?
Shoot.
Never mind.
The vibe thing?
My dad was a fireman.
When I was 12,
I got this feeling
one morning
that I was never
gonna see him again.
You didn't say anything?
I didn't want him to
see how scared I was.
He died that night in a house
fire, saving a couple of kids.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
So now when
you get a feeling...
Yeah.
He got his pen out
of his pencil cup.
Well, at least
he died happy.
Not funny.
You're right.
Well, that's strange.
What?
The M's are
out of order.
Hey, there's
something in there.
Is this it?
I don't know.
What if it is?
Then we're done.
So open it.
You open it.
I don't want another
ferret or whatever.
(PETE READING)
Don't.
Just in case.
PETE: What's that?
MYKA: Something's missing.
Let's call Artie.
Yeah.
Miss Soliday.
What are you doing here?
You heard what
happened to Marzotto?
Yes, Sheriff
Travis just called.
Now, get out before
I call him back
and tell him you're searching
this office without a warrant.
We're here investigating
his suicide.
Ed didn't kill himself.
He had help.
What do you mean?
Somebody broke his heart.
We were together for three years.
And then we weren't.
I thought we
were in love,
but things change,
and he chose someone else.
A student?
Did Emily Krueger
break his heart?
And Cody's.
She's a despicable
young woman
who uses people
to get what she wants,
and then when she's
done using them...
We're looking for something,
something about this big.
We think Marzotto had it,
but now it's missing.
Did Emily get it,
you know, whatever it is?
Why don't you ask her?
She's helping with
the party for the play.
Cody's there.
Cody's out?
Emily dropped
the charges.
Okay, we should go.
I'm coming with you.
If you're confronting Emily,
I need to be there for Cody.
Let's go.
(PANTING)
I gotta lose weight.
MYKA: Miss Soliday.
Yes?
Do you think Emily
would ever hurt Cody?
Not physically.
Even if she tried, she couldn't.
And why not?
Me. Cody has me.
I made a promise
to his parents
when I became
his godmother
that I would always
be there to protect him.
It's only
a matter of time
before Cody realizes Emily's
just small-town trash.
Cody is destined
for great things,
and I'm helping
him succeed.
With me, he can do anything
or be anyone he wants.
Myka.
Yeah.
Could you pull
over for a sec?
Yeah.
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
PETE: Stop right there!
(MYKA EXCLAIMING)
(CAR HORN BLARING)
(GASPING)
Hey.
Hi, Myka.
I know you.
(LAUGHS) Well,
that's a good sign.
Where am I?
Hospital in Iowa,
Seever City.
What happened?
Car accident.
You've been out
for two days.
Pete. How's Pete?
Lattimer's still unconscious.
We don't know.
Myka, there's someone
here to see you.
Someone who's gonna help you
get back to where you belong.
The President?
(CHUCKLING)
Better.
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
Hey.
You know you
shouldn't be here, right?
I could say the same thing
about you.
I think you just did.
(MOANING)
I'm hurt.
That didn't stop
you in Denver.
I was late.
No, Bunny.
I was early.
I jumped the gun.
You're dead, Sam.
Hey, Bunny, you
need to get up now.
You got a lot of things
you need to do.
(HEART BEATING)
Get up.
Bunny, you have
to get up now.
Get up. Myka, get up.
(GASPING)
Pete!
Oh!
Pete!
Lattimer!
Pete! Wake up, buddy.
Can you hear me?
Come on.
Here we go.
(PETE GROANING)
Okay. All right.
Wait, wait, wait. What?
What? What? What? What?
You're giving me a wedgie.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just... You okay?
Okay.
Yeah.
(GROANING)
Sit here and don't move.
I'm just gonna get the book.
If you find a badge,
it's mine.
Never mind.
I found it.
(GROANING)
You okay?
PETE: Yeah.
Soliday crashed the car.
You think?
Where is she?
(SIGHING)
She's not here.
She had some kind of jewelry in
her hair, like a comb thing.
It looked old, like it
would fit in the book.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
Pete, you're bleeding.
I'm fine.
Pete.
I'm fine.
Here, answer that.
Yeah?
You're looking for jewelry.
This thing.
Yeah, we know.
We just saw it in a woman's hair.
She tried to kill us.
A woman?
What woman?
MYKA: Her name is
Lorna Soliday. She's...
Part of the ruling class, single,
successful, she's middle-aged.
She's a survivor
of family tragedies
and the death
of loved ones.
She's connected somehow
to a young man,
a young man that she believes
needs her protection?
He's good, yeah.
Pretty good. Yeah.
What's the matter with you two?
You two all right?
Okay, anyway, look.
This comb is transmitting Lucrezia Borgia.
Lucrezia who?
Borgia.
She's a cutthroat Italian who ruled Italy
in the 1600s with her father and brothers.
My family owned
a bookstore, remember?
That's right.
That's right.
So what do you mean
"the comb's transmitting"?
An alchemist made it, okay?
Out of what, I don't know.
It's supposed to be some
kind of Renaissance roofie.
Somehow the crystals
in the ionized metal
in this thing are affecting
brain chemistry.
What about
the phrase?
Yeah, the phrase. Okay.
That's like some kind of phonetic trigger.
This is a very, very, very unhappy woman.
Very unlucky in love.
There's supposed
to be a jewelry box.
We found it
in Marzotto's office.
He must have given
Soliday the comb.
Like her, she wants
love at any cost.
She wants love, and she
is gonna kill to get it.
Okay, she wants Cody,
so she wants Emily gone.
And Emily's at the party.
What are you talking
about a party?
What party?
Oh, God.
Some Renaissance blowout
for some Machiavelli play.
Machiavelli?
This woman's gonna be there? Yes.
You've gotta
stop this woman.
Lucrezia Borgia,
600 years ago,
started a bloody
reign of terror,
and this comb is gonna wanna
start it all over again.
It's got twisted desires,
and it'll amplify,
it'll spread like some
kind of orgiastic virus.
First to Iowa,
then to Nebraska,
then to Illinois.
We understand.
Probably first to
Illinois and then...
Okay, look, we need to get
you to a hospital first...
No, no, no, no, no.
Pete.
No, look, I'm trained to
take a bullet if necessary.
But I'm not sure how to
stop a dead Italian cougar.
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(CODY AND SOLIDAY
RECITING IN ITALIAN)
We need some
kind of approach.
I have no more
color-coded plans.
There's a silver lining.
Okay, I'll go in,
grab Cody. You flank.
No, you flank.
Trust me.
Okay.
Okay. That's not creepy.
(CLEARING THROAT)
How you doing?
Ooh. That's nice.
Cody! Cody.
Come on, man, you don't
wanna do this. Okay.
Look.
Hey, hey.
Hey, you don't wanna hurt her.
Okay. Just let Emily go.
Oh, he intends to.
Her dying scream
will be the trigger...
Hey, hey, hey.
Look, nobody's
screaming, okay?
We're gonna take
a deep breath,
we're all gonna come
back down to Earth.
Cute.
Cody.
Kid's fast.
What's your pain, Lorna?
What are you afraid of?
You know.
And so does she.
Show's over.
Drop the comb thing.
Did you really
let your lover die?
Myka.
Shut up.
For a chance at glory?
I said shut up.
Don't look at it, Myka.
Myka!
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(PANTING)
(CLICKS)
Yeah, sorry.
No one's dying here tonight.
But you might
lose a tooth.
MYKA: Pete!
(NEUTRALIZER POWERING UP)
Duck and cover?
(PANTING)
(GUN CLATTERS)
(ALL WHISPERING)
What did I do?
It's okay.
It's over.
(WHIMPERING)
(SIGHING)
Love hurts, I know.
DICKINSON: So here's the deal.
You got a choice.
You can come back to D.C.
, or you can stay with the new assignment.
What's the catch?
I only get you.
Lattimer has to stay there.
And if I stay,
what happens to Pete?
He still stays.
How long do I have
to think about it?
About five more seconds.
Four, three, two.
(WHOOSHING)
Now, in addition to all the museums and
art galleries and other great stuff
here in our
nation's capital,
there's one thing you're gonna love
probably more than anything else.
The dinosaurs.
(KIDS CHEERING)
This way.
Stick together.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Agent Bering?
Hi, Chet Greenfield.
Hello.
Sorry I'm late.
No problem.
My assistant said you double
checked everything yesterday.
I did, but I'd like to run a full
review before we lock it down.
Sure.
With you.
Me?
You're the boss. I'd like to avoid
any chain-of-command confusion.
I tell you, and it gets done.
Shall we start in the main hall?
Well, I understand, but I'm
pretty booked up at the moment.
I apologize for
the inconvenience.
I'll clear my schedule.
I'd appreciate it.
PETE: Morning, Kacey.
I just figured out who you are.
You're a fireman.
Mmm-hmm.
No? Come on.
You know absolutely
everything about me.
Well, that's because
you talk a lot.
Gordon, this is Agent Bering,
with the Secret Service.
Gordon Letanik?
And what's this?
An Aztec blood stone.
The boss of virgin sacrifices.
Handsome devil. I'm just cleaning
him for the reception tonight.
CHET: Agent Bering wants the Group D
artifacts moved to the west wall.
They're blocking an exit.
Lose Tuvalu and Malta,
move Britain to the back.
If it still doesn't fit, see me
and we'll cut something else.
Yes, sir.
I'll just finish up.
CHET: What's next?
The main floor bathrooms.
I'll need the plumbing
pulled again.
Ow!
I would try to sneak you in, but
the Secret Service will be there
and they can be jerks.
So I've heard.
Call you soon.
You promise?
Promise.
Bye now.
Bye.
Champagne?
Thank you.
Champagne?
Status check on Eagle.
(SOFT GROWLING)
Who's on
Emerald entrance?
Me, Morris.
Why aren't you
at Emerald?
Well, because I'm here.
How's home base?
We're calling
home base "Magenta."
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm not.
You changed the protocol.
I tweaked it.
I wrote it.
And I didn't use colors.
Why weren't you
at my briefing?
I was vetting
one of the servers.
Screwing off is
more like it.
Well, you say potato.
Get back to Emerald.
You're not my superior.
Dickinson gave this to me.
I'm running it.
Meeka.
Myka.
Myka.
Myka.
Myka.
Mmm-hmm.
I get vibes.
Sorry?
This isn't some run and gun
that you're used to in Denver.
Get to the point,
Lattimer.
Dickinson gave you this
shindig with my protocol
because my specialty
is logistics, framing.
And I kid you not, there is
something really off in here.
AGENT: Eagle at Magenta. Mr.
President, wait a moment, please.
This is Bering,
Eagle is free to enter.
Negative, negative.
This is Lattimer.
Hold Eagle at five
until further. Copy?
AGENT: Copy that.
Holding Eagle.
Get back to Emerald.
Look, Myka,
why don't you pull your head out of
your "Magenta" and feel the room?
Something's off.
Listen, Showboat.
Nothing's off.
The room is fine. Everything is fine.
Now take your vibe and go.
Enjoy your party.
I will.
I want a perimeter
check ASAP.
(SOFT GROWLING)
Emerald clear.
AGENT 1: Peach clear.
AGENT 2: Orange clear.
AGENT 3: Gold clear.
AGENT 4: Crimson clear.
(BUZZING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Blood.
Pete? What are
you doing here?
Working.
(GASPS)
Is there a fire?
Mmm-mmm.
Excuse me, sir.
Wait just a second.
Secret Service.
This is...
Gotta go. Excuse me!
Excuse me!
That's an okay
for Eagle to enter.
AGENT: Affirmative.
(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Clear Eagle.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
Freeze!
Drop the knife.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Hold your fire!
Seriously, Gordon,
drop the knife.
Drop that.
Whatever it is.
Can't do that, Pete.
Weapon.
We're done here.
Hey!
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHING)
Tell me you
found the guy.
The guy you said
stole the rock?
We're gonna
need a sample.
Come on, Dickinson.
Well, you said, among many strange
things, that the rock was bleeding.
It was.
Taxpayers will probably wanna
know if you were high,
paranoid, or just part
of an Aztec art theft ring.
In the meantime, you're suspended,
with pay, for two weeks
till we get this
thing worked out.
What about Morris?
He says nothing
happened at Emerald.
Okay, can we stop
with the colors already?
(SIGHING) What about
the guy with the knife?
What? Letanik?
Yes.
He's in a coma.
Docs don't know why or how
long that's gonna last.
And Bering?
Myka's being thanked personally by
the President and the First Lady.
Of course she is.
She's going places.
You, on the other hand,
you're going to the bathroom.
That's funny.
Ha, ha.
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
Mr. Lattimer.
My name's Frederic.
Frederic what?
Mrs. Frederic.
Well, that's a relief.
I'm with the government.
I'm here on a matter of national security.
What's that?
An invitation
to endless wonder.
Okay, could you sound
a little more creepy?
Read it.
Please note the action code.
It is legitimate.
You're part of
my bailiwick now.
Your bailiwick?
You're working for me.
For you?
Am I stuttering?
No, ma'am.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right, I get it. I get it.
This is a joke, right?
Dickinson put you guys up.
This is Dickinson being funny, right?
Do I look like a joke,
Mr. Lattimer?
No.
You're to be in South Dakota at those
coordinates, at noon tomorrow.
You will mention our meeting and
your pending assignment to no one.
Is that understood?
How long am I gonna
be in South Dakota?
Indefinitely.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, look. I've got a life here.
Really?
Yeah. I've got
things.
Pack light, Mr. Lattimer.
We'll ship what you need and store the rest.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Prepare
to turn right in 100 feet.
Turn right now.
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
You have missed
your turn. Go back.
Stop.
Turn right.
Destination straight ahead.
You've got to
be kidding me.
(COW MOOING)
PETE: Yeah.
Endless wonder.
Hello!
It's Agent Lattimer.
I'm here!
Hello!
(WHOOSHING)
Oh, great.
(COW MOOING)
I heard you
were suspended.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Why are you here?
I was ordered here
last night. Mrs. Frederic.
Yes.
Yeah.
Said it was a matter of
national security.
National security.
Right.
(DOOR OPENING)
(BIRD CALLING)
How are you guys doing?
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to fix the fish.
(EXCLAIMING)
Hey, stop right there.
What are you doing?
This is the guy. The one from last night.
The guy who stole the rock.
You stole the rock.
It's a blood stone.
It's safe.
It's inside the building.
Yeah, well, it's the property
of the museum.
ARTIE: And that museum is property of the U.
S. Government.
And so is the Warehouse.
And so am I.
Secret Service. I also work for Mrs.
Frederic. Arthur Nielsen.
You can call me Artie.
Got some ID?
No. We take the Secret part
seriously around here.
Oh, I just wanted to thank you for your
assistance in last night's retrieval.
That was very good.
Hey, did you throw
that football at me?
You weren't here when I threw it.
It takes a while to circle back.
Come on inside.
I'll show you around.
Around what?
What am I doing here?
I'll explain everything
inside. Come on.
I made cookies.
Ooh!
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
Really, it's okay.
Go inside. Don't go far!
Okay, come on in.
Wait for me at the bottom of the stairs.
Go, go, go. It's fine.
Don't touch anything.
ARTIE: Don't touch the bombs.
Hold this. Hold it.
Come on.
It's okay.
(BEEPING)
ARTIE: Right this way.
Miss Bering, Mr. Lattimer,
welcome to Warehouse 13.
I'm thrilled
you're on the team.
What team?
What is this place?
Officially, K39ZZZ,
on the North American grid.
But I like to think of it
as America's attic.
Pete, close the door.
Tell me exactly
what I'm doing here.
Exactly?
That's a little...
Yeah. Well,
to put it plainly,
you're both joining me as fellow
gatherers and protectors of secrets.
Put it plainer.
(STAMMERING)
This warehouse...
Look, the Warehouse needs you.
Pete, don't touch.
It needs your
combined talents.
I mean, he's intuitive, and you've
got a scrupulous eye for detail.
He's scattershot, see?
You're meticulous. You look, he leaps.
There's been a mistake.
I'm too valuable to be wasted here.
No offense.
Of course not.
Can I use your
phone, please?
Mine?
It's broken.
Well, I have to make
a phone call, so...
There's no signal here.
(SIGHS)
Just pull the door,
and you'll be... Now.
There you go.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I think she had
other plans.
(SIGHING) So did I.
(SIGHS)
You want juice
or are you a milk person?
(SIGHING) You know
what I'd really like?
Oh, I do indeed, but
falling off the wagon
may not be the best
option at this point.
Milk it is.
Yeah.
PETE: That's Mrs. Frederic.
ARTIE: Long time ago.
She looks
exactly the same.
Odd, isn't it?
You don't want a cookie?
Yeah.
Okay, so who
are these guys?
Former colleagues.
And where
are they now?
Well, this one and
this one are dead.
This one, a mental
institution in Germany.
And this last one,
disappeared.
One day I'll find him.
Ted, these are two of my best agents.
How can you not know?
I'm looking at the order.
You processed it. How can you not know?
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hold on. Dickinson.
Sir, it's Myka Bering.
Myka.
Sir, I have a little
situation here.
I'm not sure...
Yeah, yeah.
You know what? I'm looking at
the transfer order right now.
The name on here
is Frederic.
You're transferred to where?
Where are you?
Well, I'm in
South Dakota.
Where?
South Dakota.
What are you doing
in South Dakota?
You don't know about this?
No.
Who is Frederic?
(STATIC CRACKLING)
Sir? Sir?
Myka? Myka?
Who's this Frederic?
Sir! Yes, yes.
She handed me
orders last night
to come to a warehouse
in South Dakota.
The order code was solid,
and Lattimer's here, too.
Look, I'm requesting an immediate
stand down and transfer back to D.C.
Myka. Myka, I can't do that.
This order trumps me.
Hold on and I will get
you back here ASAP.
What should I do?
Follow orders.
Those orders, both of you.
And how long will this take?
Sir? Sir? Are you there?
That's a pile of crap.
No kidding.
No, I'm not kidding.
You're actually standing
in a big pile of cow manure.
(FLIES BUZZING)
Oatmeal Scotchie?
No, thank you.
I don't eat sugar.
Good for you.
Listen,
please don't think of this assignment
as some sort of punishment.
Can you hold this?
What?
Your presence here is not really a reaction
to what happened to you in Denver.
So...
I got a commendation for
what happened in Denver.
Yes, you did.
It's time for the nickel tour. Come on.
The order trumps
Dickinson?
ARTIE: The first Warehouse
13 was built in '98.
So we're stuck.
Until he works out
a transfer, yes.
1898.
We didn't have a handle on how to store stuff.
It burned down.
Some remodeling and excavations
were necessary as the years went on
to accommodate the arrival of more and
more and more and more artifacts.
What's stored
here exactly?
Oh, this and that,
bric-a-brac.
Some things along the lines of
last night's rock and roll.
I'm talking about the blood stone.
Both hands on the bar, please.
I think
I'll survive a crash.
(BOTH SNICKERING)
No, that's not a safety bar, it's a conduit.
You and Pete are the power source.
Your combined electrical
energy makes this thing move.
It's fine, it's fine.
Look, Thomas Edison built this automobile
for Henry Ford as a proof of concept,
and it's perfectly safe.
Trust me.
Put your hands on the bar.
Put your hands on the bar.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
We need both of you.
Hands on the bar,
Myka. Thank you.
Edison, he wanted
Ford to let go of oil.
But Ford, no, no, he stuck with it
because it ruined his engines faster.
People had to
keep buying them.
PETE: What is that?
ARTIE: What? Oh!
That is Training Flight 22.
We pulled that from
the Bermuda Triangle.
The Triangle has been trying
to pull it back ever since.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Duck and cover.
Ow.
ARTIE: It's harmless.
Inventory kicks up a little
static from time to time.
Why are you grinning?
Well, don't you think
this stuff is kind of cool?
What?
Where is he?
I don't know.
He'll be back.
Artie! Hello?
We should stick together.
Right this way, please.
Pete. Many of the items in here,
kind of like the blood stone,
Pete, that you wrestled
with last night.
They channel a tangential
energy, well...
Tangential energy is
kind of like the energy
that forced the museum
employee last night into...
Well, into almost
committing murder.
So how does that happen?
Yeah, we're not really
exactly sure how.
It goes back to Einstein,
or E equals...
Yeah, okay.
Somehow the matter that is in here
has just enough energy
to move other matter.
You know, like you.
Move me where?
Into trouble.
Bunk.
Is gravity bunk?
Magnetism?
These are mysterious forces, that we live
with every day, but we can't explain them.
Can you even explain to me
how a radio works? Huh?
No. And you don't really care, as long
as you get the traffic report, right?
But if a radio landed in the
hands of Thomas Jefferson,
you know what Jefferson would do?
He would just lock it up.
Until he figured out it wasn't gonna kill him.
And that is exactly what we do here.
We take the unexplained
(CRASHING)
And we just safely
tuck it away
in this supersized
Pandora's box.
Metaphorically speaking.
Well, actually, Pandora's
box is over in aisle 989 B.
Empty, of course.
(BEEPS)
Pete, do the world a favor
and clear your mind.
Well, that should be easy.
Whoa!
Wow. How did that get there?
Because I didn't pick that thing up.
It still amazes me
how that thing moves.
What? What?
What is it?
Don't talk, don't hope,
don't wish for anything.
That kettle
grants wishes?
Yes. Now, Pete,
look at me.
Just keep your eyes
on me. Okay.
Open it.
Pete! Pete.
This is a neutralizer.
You can think of this as a fire
extinguisher for objects that "act up."
Now, look, I want you
to come over here,
I want you to drop that
very slowly, right in here.
Now, listen, there are items around
here, if you were to put it in there,
they would generate
a big flash,
but this little thing will
probably be a little spark.
But you may flinch,
and I don't want you to,
'cause you could
drop it. Okay?
Well, I have a wish.
Don't!
(GASPS)
You wished for a ferret?
No.
That was already
in the thing.
I don't think so.
You wished for a transfer,
didn't you?
Mmm.
Impossible wishes, wishes
that can never be granted,
they produce a ferret.
Don't ask me why.
My first year here, the whole
place was crawling with ferrets.
I swear, I didn't
pick that thing up.
No, I know, I know.
Not everybody is affected
by everything. Here, okay?
You have to be
metaphysically predisposed.
And the external energies,
they have to be in alignment.
This is just
a convergence thing.
Right, sure, okay.
So we're all
converged here,
but I still have no idea
what I'm supposed to do.
What you're
supposed to do is
hunt down whatever is threatening
to ruin the world's day,
neutralize it
and bring it here.
You gotta snag it
and bag it and tag it.
This is crazy!
This is crazy!
You know, I don't...
It could be, you know, crazy fun.
That's exactly the attitude that
brought you to our attention.
Do you guys want
a cookie for the road?
What road?
There's rooms for you
at Leena's Bed & Breakfast.
It's about seven miles down the road
that way, and I'll join you there
in the morning, and I'II...
I'll just join you there in the morning.
Stay close!
Seriously, Lattimer, there's been
a serious screw-up. I'm serious.
And now you
have a ferret.
What?
MYKA: This town, is
this a town or what?
What's the name of it?
PETE: Well,
it's more like a street.
So it says here to turn
left at Buffalo Station.
What? No, no, no.
It's "Buffalo Statue."
It says "Buffalo Statue."
Well, your penmanship
is atrocious.
I don't need wise... You know, that's...
You know, don't do that.
Can you finish
a sentence?
A full thought?
Would you really
like me to?
Wait. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No, no, no.
Don't call Dickinson.
He hates
being pestered.
I don't pester.
Well, when he knows
something, he'll call.
Clearly the phrase "rolling with the
punches" is not in your vocabulary,
so may I make
a suggestion?
What might that be?
Unbunch your panties,
and make the best
of a bad situation.
And how do I do that?
Which part?
You're a freak.
Hello.
I'm Leena.
You must be Pete and Myka.
Come in. I've got
your rooms ready.
We serve three meals,
9:00, noon, and 5:00.
We've got radios
in the rooms. No TVs.
No in-room phones, but there is one there
at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway.
You may choose
any room.
Is there anywhere I can get a drink?
I mean, a drink drink?
What would you like?
Whiskey neat.
I can do that.
Please do that.
She hates traveling.
(FERRET CHITTERING)
She loves traveling.
It's the places she's traveled
to that's the problem.
Ah.
Can I get you anything?
No, I'm fine.
Yep, yep.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Is everything okay?
You're a lucky man, Pete.
I am?
You're in tune.
Very rare.
I don't know what that...
Look, Leena, are you
connected to Artie?
Let me know if your bed
is big enough for you.
(SIGHING)
(CHITTERING)
(DIALING)
(CLATTERING)
(MUMBLING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(SIGHING)
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
How'd it go today?
Not bad.
Lattimer seems interested.
And Miss Bering, not so much.
Mmm. Did you select
a case for them?
Yeah. Listen, I don't
mean any disrespect,
but are we really sure that these
are the people? The right people?
Because...
Artie.
I'm fully aware of their baggage.
Now, what's the real problem?
Artie, take yourself off the hook.
Their fate falls on me.
You say that...
Dickinson wants them back.
You've got to get them locked in.
Can't sleep?
Yeah. Me neither.
We don't have to talk.
So...
Do you always eat
when you're stressed?
Do you always
talk this much?
You know, no light from the
city to get in the way.
Nothing but sky.
This time of the year, we get Leo,
Cygnus, Sagittarius.
You know this how?
My dad and I
used to camp a lot.
Where is he now?
(SIGHING)
Sorry.
What about your folks?
MYKA: Colorado Springs.
They own a bookstore
called Bering & Sons.
How many brothers?
No brothers. Just me.
My dad thought the "and
Sons" sounded classier.
Well, he must be proud of you.
Mom is.
Well, did protecting the President of
the United States turn him around?
Yeah. This won't.
From Denver to D.C.
To a warehouse security guard in six months.
Now, there's
a career trajectory.
Look, about Denver,
I didn't mean to spit
on that last night.
What you did there was
better than textbook.
We're not discussing that.
Ever.
All right, well, I'm
gonna go back upstairs
and not sleep some more.
Hey.
Earlier, did you hear a...
Hear what?
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
Never mind.
Dickinson will call.
He better.
Location, time,
Seever City.
Come on.
So it's gonna be you, then.
Okay, Cody Thomas,
a law school grad student,
University of Southern Iowa.
Iowa?
Yeah, Iowa.
His parents were
killed in a plane crash.
He is a really good kid.
He's been putting himself through
college with the settlement.
Why are we going to Iowa?
To find whatever it is that
pushed this kid over the edge.
What edge?
He struck his girlfriend.
That's it?
So far.
Look, for the past five days, I have
been reviewing 11 possible cases,
looking for whatever doesn't fit.
Something out of place,
like blood on a marble floor
that leads to a man with a knife
because of a rock
that isn't just a rock.
I've got a hunch
that this is the one.
What exactly are
we looking for?
Well, you tell me.
It's bigger than a breadbox.
Or smaller.
If there is an artifact
at the heart of this,
then I've prepared a few questions
for Cody that might reveal it.
Actually, it's more
than a few questions, but...
"Do you have the constant feeling
that today is yesterday?"
Okay, yeah. See, if they
say yes, then we could...
They probably won't say yes.
It's unlikely.
But we could be
dealing with time slip.
Or a hangover.
(EXCLAIMS)
Please take
this seriously.
I had a run-in with a Mayan
calendar a few years ago,
and that question
saved my life,
and the two agents that were
with me were not quite so lucky.
What happened to them?
Their clocks stopped.
So, what? They died?
Well, they'll wish they had
in 100 years or so. Anyway...
Neutralizer.
The purple stuff.
If you find the artifact,
just drown it in there,
like this, if you can.
And if it's too big, you just take
this and throw it, and then call me.
And don't ask me how it works,
because I have no idea.
And it doesn't always work.
And don't ingest that stuff, because you'II...
You'll see things.
And we'll stay in contact with these.
I have one just like it.
Two-way video
communication?
ARTIE: I call
it a Farnsworth.
It's named after Philo Farnsworth,
who invented that in 1929,
right after he invented
the television.
Isn't that remarkable?
I mean, anyway,
if you want to talk to me,
just press that button.
(PETE CHUCKLING)
What is that?
(CHUCKLING)
Nikola Tesla,
Thomas Edison's chief rival
or nemesis, depending...
He cooked this up as an
alternative to bullets.
It's really a kind
of electric stun gun.
It's a polyphase
ass-kicker.
Now, that's...
Yeah. Just here.
Just don't put it past two to begin with.
That's the trigger, right there.
You should practice with it first.
One blast and
down you go.
Don't point that at me.
Keep your finger away.
Just don't.
MYKA: Stop.
Give him the gun.
And also, it zaps
short-term memory,
which is why Agent Morris doesn't
remember seeing me at the museum.
And that's it.
(CLEARS THROAT)
That's what?
Go to Iowa.
Talk to Cody.
Find the artifact if it exists.
Neutralize it, bring it back.
Oh, and don't get killed.
(SIGHS)
How's her aura?
Tortured.
Guilt and grief, mostly.
She has a soft spot for the ferret, though.
Just like you.
Now, that was
a long time ago.
Hmm. You haven't
changed that much.
She had a stowaway.
I found this in her room.
Oh, Lord. That's
Houdini's wallet.
Fingers!
Okay.
That was a bad spike.
That landed on something with her.
I requisitioned mesh screens for
those shelves ten years ago.
And every year since.
I've told you this.
A few times.
(SIGHING) You'd think Mrs.
Frederic could maybe get that done.
Don't look at me.
TRAVIS: Well, I had the FBI in here a
while ago on a suspected terrorist thing.
All egos out to here and all looking
like they're wearing daddy's suit.
Well, we feel
the same way.
Ah, just let me know if
this thing's going federal
so I can get my staff
prepared for the media.
It's not going federal.
We just have a few questions
and then we're gone.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
It's Dickinson.
Oh. It'll just be a sec.
Yeah, this is Bering.
DICKINSON:
Myka, how you doing?
Well, we're in Iowa
now, on assignment.
Any luck in
getting us back?
Bad news is, not so far.
Good news is, I've got a
line on this Frederic woman.
She worked for the Treasury Department
in the 1950s, after that...
Well, it's not
the same woman.
The woman we met
was younger.
I've got a Frederic in charge
of some sort of secret sandbox.
It's being funded from a black ops
budget I'm still trying to source.
Well, I can fill you in.
No, no, no.
These lines aren't secure.
Listen to me.
I'm doing everything I can
to get you and Pete
back here. 48 hours, tops.
So just follow your current
orders and keep your head down.
Wait, sir! Sir?
So, how'd he sound?
Forty-eight hours.
Yeah, but how'd he sound?
Not good.
What kind of questions?
They're sort of diagnostic.
Diagnostic. What,
like I'm sick?
You're Secret
Service doctors?
No.
Question number one.
"Have you recently encountered something
that you feel has affected your life?"
Something like what?
An object of some kind.
Do handcuffs count?
No. Question number two.
"While looking up, do you have
the sensation of falling?"
Cody?
No. I don't feel
like I'm falling.
Next question.
Okay, question
number three.
"Have you recently smelled something
that could best be described as
"fudge when
there is no fudge?"
Fudge? Is that...
Question four. "Do you ever feel like
this might be a colossal waste of time?"
Okay, let's...
Yeah. Okay.
We're done with
those questions, Cody.
Yes.
PETE: What do you think
happened with your girlfriend?
What's her name?
I don't know.
Emily.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
I was in class, talking to the
professor about some mock trial thing.
I woke up here, and they
told me I beat Emily up.
They let you
see a doctor?
Yeah.
Says I'm fine.
And no...
No alcohol or drugs?
No, I swear.
No history of blackouts?
No. This isn't me.
I would never hurt Emily.
This isn't me. This isn't...
Cody?
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Get him out of here!
OFFICER 1: Right, let's go.
OFFICER 2: We got him, sir.
Let's get him down
to secure lockup.
Let's go.
(PANTING)
PETE: Well,
that was scary.
SOLIDAY: (QUIETLY) You don't need to worry
about anything. I'm gonna take care of it.
Just hang in there.
I'm gonna get you out of here soon.
OFFICER: Can you come
this way, son?
Hello. I'm Lorna Soliday.
I'm Cody's lawyer.
And did Travis call you?
Sheriff Travis
respects the law,
and he doesn't like being
railroaded by federal agents.
Are you that hands-on
with all your clients?
No. Just my godson.
So you knew his parents.
Very well.
And neither Cody nor I will be
answering any more questions
until I know
what this is about.
We're interested
in Cody's behavior.
His violent behavior.
As in, where's
it coming from?
What is this? Someone pegged him
as a threat to the President?
Not yet.
Not ever.
That's not Cody.
It was Cody that just destroyed
that table in there.
Not to mention what he
did to his girlfriend.
Does the Secret Service
investigate every case
of battery among
college students?
Nope. Just this one.
So where'd the Italian come in?
What do you mean?
He spoke Italian in there, just before
he decided that the interview was over.
I don't know
anything about that.
Well, has Cody come into contact with
anything unusual, say, in the past few days?
Yes. You two.
That was
a serious question.
That was a serious answer.
Any more questions, Sheriff
Travis has my number.
You felt that, right?
I'm not sure
what you mean.
It got hot.
Yeah.
But you knew to get me to the
floor before he freaked out.
(SIGHS)
The vibe.
Right.
Okay, so how do
those things work?
Is there false alarms or...
It happens all the time.
So why do you trust them?
Well...
One time I didn't,
and I should have.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
You're right.
It's Italian, sort of.
(CODY SPEAKING ITALIAN)
I mean, this is either part gibberish.
I don't know.
It's some kind
of code, maybe.
And my software can barely
translate any of this.
I mean,
"dolore" means "pain."
And a tech search
came up with nothing.
There's no films, no books,
no plays, no songs, no poems.
Okay, so what now?
Well, you're right
beside a college campus.
You can go find somebody
who speaks Italian.
(STUTTERING)
Artie. Hello? Hello?
Excuse me.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Professor Marzotto?
Yes.
We're with the
Secret Service.
Oh, my.
(CODY SPEAKING ITALIAN)
It's an old construction.
15th century.
It's not working-class
Italian either.
This is high brow.
PETE: So
what's he saying?
Roughly?
"If people knew
the reasons for my fear,
"they'd be able to
understand my pain."
Do you visit
Italy a lot?
I haven't been back
in nearly two years.
But you're sure this
translation is correct.
I'm a Renaissance scholar.
I'm sure.
PETE: Oh!
One last question.
Do you know a student here
named Cody Thomas?
I know of him. I read about him in the paper.
It's a sad story, that.
How so?
Well, you know.
He was a good kid.
From what I heard, he had
some sort of a breakdown.
All right. Well, if we need you
to translate anything else...
I'd be more than
happy to help.
You can reach me
at that number.
Great. Thank you.
He's hiding something.
Did you see his neck pulse?
Bang, bang, bang.
Don't you have a
scrupulous eye for detail.
And he shelves his books
alphabetically.
I didn't notice that.
He puts pens in one cup,
pencils in another.
Okay. Now you're
scaring me.
Did you see where he put his
pen right before we left?
Was Sherlock Holmes a big deal
at your parents' bookstore?
Something got
Marzotto going.
And you.
I don't like
being lied to.
I'll remember that.
So what, you want to go
back and hit him again?
No, I want
a hard phone line.
I thought this was
a colossal waste of time.
Not anymore.
Hey, hold up.
Do you always
walk so fast?
Yes, I do.
Are you coming?
Harris.
OPERATOR: I have an incoming
code Madrid for Minnie Harris.
Reply 6955.
Hi, Minnie.
Hey, hotshot.
Hey, how's the White House?
You know, it's a lot smaller
than it looks on TV.
How are you?
Chad and I
are dating.
Very nice.
Yes, it is.
Look, I need
some information.
Okay, shoot.
Edward Marzotto.
One "Z" two "T's."
He's a professor
at Southern Iowa University.
Turnaround?
I need it now.
Sorry, I know this is big.
It's not a problem.
You okay to hang on and I'll
give you the highlights?
For sure.
Okay, thanks.
Hang on.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Government agents are asking me
lots of questions I can't answer
without getting you and me
into a lot of trouble.
It's about the book.
Your boyfriend
is quoting from it.
How's Myka?
Edgy, irritable.
You know, Myka.
Why?
Just checking.
Hey, listen, there's something
I forgot to mention before.
What?
Just before
Cody got physical,
there was
some kind of a...
I don't know, a heat wave.
It just rolled right off of him.
This happen
after a question?
No, he was talking about his
girlfriend, Emily Krueger.
You talked to her, right?
No, not yet.
All right. Listen.
I'm gonna check out
that heat thing.
I'm gonna see if that
relates to anything.
And meanwhile, what
was that translation?
"If people knew the
reasons for my fear,
"they would be able
to understand my pain."
Hello? Artie. Hey.
Do you want me to...
Do you want me
to run that again?
I got it.
Okay, Pete, you're positive
that's the translation?
Absolutely positive?
Yeah, I mean,
that's what Marzotto said.
Okay, I'll call you back.
PETE: Okay.
HARRIS: Myka?
Got some good stuff. Yeah.
Edward Melville Marzotto.
Melville?
Yeah, I know.
Anyway, the man loves his Italian art.
Just got back from Italy eight
weeks ago, and the cops think...
(STATIC CRACKLING)
Minnie?
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
Hey.
Slow down.
Walk faster.
So what'd
you find out?
Hey, what happened in there?
Myka, hey. Tell me.
I heard a...
I thought I heard a voice
over the phone that I really
should not be hearing.
Same thing you
heard at Leena's.
Look, sometimes we hear things and
see things that aren't there.
What I heard can't be there.
It can't be.
Then it's not. I mean, maybe
it's post-traumatic stress.
(CHUCKLES)
I read the press release
of what went down in Denver.
Lives were saved.
Lives were lost.
You're a hero.
You're gonna put me on a
psych eval, aren't you?
Why would I do that?
Because you need to be able
to depend on your partner.
All right. Well, then,
you're just gonna have to depend
on me to know that you're okay.
We're gonna finish this case,
we're gonna get out of here.
We will.
I don't know if I can.
I don't even know
what we're looking for.
Yes, you do.
I mean,
whatever doesn't fit.
You know, something
that's out of place.
Marzotto.
Marzotto lied to us.
He said that the last time
he was in Italy was...
Two years ago.
Yeah, my contact told me
it was eight weeks ago.
(LAUGHING)
How about that?
I wonder what else
he lied about.
I guess we need
more information.
Yes, we do.
Cody's girlfriend.
Emily Krueger.
I need a picture!
Just give me a picture!
(BEEPING)
Give me a picture.
Don't make me
come down there!
All right.
I know this
is awkward.
And I feel terrible,
but...
You can't keep it.
I don't know what I was thinking
even taking it out of Italy,
but it has to go back.
I'm going to
Rome next week.
And that's coming with me.
What's that for?
(GASPING)
(MUTTERING)
I hate this part.
(GRUNTING)
Ow!
Emily, you're late.
Sorry.
We were setting up
for the party.
Can I help you?
Emily Krueger?
Yes.
I know your pain,
trust me. Okay.
Oh!
MYKA: We saw you leaving Professor
Marzotto's office, didn't we?
Oh. Right. I was there for a
meeting for the play. I'm in it.
Marzotto's sort of
a technical advisor.
Does he know about your
relationship with Cody?
He knows what
happened. Why?
Huh. Because when we talked to him
about Cody, he didn't mention you.
Or that you'd just
been to see him.
Maybe he was trying
to protect my privacy.
Why did you guys
mention Cody?
We needed
something translated.
Yeah, have you ever heard
Cody speak Italian?
Just once,
when he did this.
How long have
you known Cody?
Since the eighth grade.
Got serious after
his parents died.
I came here for theater.
He applied for law school.
His godmother
helped him get in.
Lorna Soliday?
You met her?
Does she have
any family?
Just Cody.
And that's not
even real family.
She made sure that he got that big
settlement when his parents died.
(READING IN ITALIAN)
Stop.
Do you know
what it means?
"If people knew
the reasons for my fear,
"they would be able
to understand my pain."
Does that mean
anything to you?
Only that he's afraid of
abandonment and it scares him.
Maybe he thought that I was
spending too much time on the play.
I don't know.
Can I go back to work now?
Yes.
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
Ten to one, this has nothing to do
with the hocus pocus Artie's pushing.
How about
a billion to one?
How about a cute girl
in a play by Machiavelli
makes her insecure
boyfriend freak out?
Or try this. Emily, an actress,
is a ruthless gold digger.
She'd know which buttons to
push on her insecure boyfriend
to get him mad enough
to hit her. Right?
She goes for the money.
(EXCLAIMS)
Sues him for it.
What kind of women
do you date?
(SIREN WAILING)
Pete? Pete!
(ARTIE GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMING SOFTLY)
Pete. Pete.
It's Marzotto.
What?
The attendant said he heard him speaking
Italian before he doused himself.
Hey. Hey! Hold on.
Why'd you talk
to Marzotto?
Who told you that?
Secret Service hits campus, and people notice.
And now he's dead.
Before this,
you said something
to make Cody Thomas want
to knock your heads off.
Something you
want to tell me?
We should talk
about this later.
All right, let me tell
you something...
Sure.
Tell me something
that makes it seem
like I couldn't kick your ass
in front of your men.
Boys, boys, can we put our badges
back in our pants, please?
Sheriff.
What was that?
We gotta get
to Marzotto's office.
Yeah, and how are we gonna get in?
Hotshot.
What the hell is
Warehouse 13?
We haven't met.
I'm Mrs. Frederic.
How'd you get in here?
Through a door.
Warehouse 13,
is it yours?
It's mine.
And so are
Lattimer and Bering.
Excuse me?
Can I ask you something?
Shoot.
Never mind.
The vibe thing?
My dad was a fireman.
When I was 12,
I got this feeling
one morning
that I was never
gonna see him again.
You didn't say anything?
I didn't want him to
see how scared I was.
He died that night in a house
fire, saving a couple of kids.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
So now when
you get a feeling...
Yeah.
He got his pen out
of his pencil cup.
Well, at least
he died happy.
Not funny.
You're right.
Well, that's strange.
What?
The M's are
out of order.
Hey, there's
something in there.
Is this it?
I don't know.
What if it is?
Then we're done.
So open it.
You open it.
I don't want another
ferret or whatever.
(PETE READING)
Don't.
Just in case.
PETE: What's that?
MYKA: Something's missing.
Let's call Artie.
Yeah.
Miss Soliday.
What are you doing here?
You heard what
happened to Marzotto?
Yes, Sheriff
Travis just called.
Now, get out before
I call him back
and tell him you're searching
this office without a warrant.
We're here investigating
his suicide.
Ed didn't kill himself.
He had help.
What do you mean?
Somebody broke his heart.
We were together for three years.
And then we weren't.
I thought we
were in love,
but things change,
and he chose someone else.
A student?
Did Emily Krueger
break his heart?
And Cody's.
She's a despicable
young woman
who uses people
to get what she wants,
and then when she's
done using them...
We're looking for something,
something about this big.
We think Marzotto had it,
but now it's missing.
Did Emily get it,
you know, whatever it is?
Why don't you ask her?
She's helping with
the party for the play.
Cody's there.
Cody's out?
Emily dropped
the charges.
Okay, we should go.
I'm coming with you.
If you're confronting Emily,
I need to be there for Cody.
Let's go.
(PANTING)
I gotta lose weight.
MYKA: Miss Soliday.
Yes?
Do you think Emily
would ever hurt Cody?
Not physically.
Even if she tried, she couldn't.
And why not?
Me. Cody has me.
I made a promise
to his parents
when I became
his godmother
that I would always
be there to protect him.
It's only
a matter of time
before Cody realizes Emily's
just small-town trash.
Cody is destined
for great things,
and I'm helping
him succeed.
With me, he can do anything
or be anyone he wants.
Myka.
Yeah.
Could you pull
over for a sec?
Yeah.
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
PETE: Stop right there!
(MYKA EXCLAIMING)
(CAR HORN BLARING)
(GASPING)
Hey.
Hi, Myka.
I know you.
(LAUGHS) Well,
that's a good sign.
Where am I?
Hospital in Iowa,
Seever City.
What happened?
Car accident.
You've been out
for two days.
Pete. How's Pete?
Lattimer's still unconscious.
We don't know.
Myka, there's someone
here to see you.
Someone who's gonna help you
get back to where you belong.
The President?
(CHUCKLING)
Better.
SAM: Hey, Bunny.
Hey.
You know you
shouldn't be here, right?
I could say the same thing
about you.
I think you just did.
(MOANING)
I'm hurt.
That didn't stop
you in Denver.
I was late.
No, Bunny.
I was early.
I jumped the gun.
You're dead, Sam.
Hey, Bunny, you
need to get up now.
You got a lot of things
you need to do.
(HEART BEATING)
Get up.
Bunny, you have
to get up now.
Get up. Myka, get up.
(GASPING)
Pete!
Oh!
Pete!
Lattimer!
Pete! Wake up, buddy.
Can you hear me?
Come on.
Here we go.
(PETE GROANING)
Okay. All right.
Wait, wait, wait. What?
What? What? What? What?
You're giving me a wedgie.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
Just... You okay?
Okay.
Yeah.
(GROANING)
Sit here and don't move.
I'm just gonna get the book.
If you find a badge,
it's mine.
Never mind.
I found it.
(GROANING)
You okay?
PETE: Yeah.
Soliday crashed the car.
You think?
Where is she?
(SIGHING)
She's not here.
She had some kind of jewelry in
her hair, like a comb thing.
It looked old, like it
would fit in the book.
(FARNSWORTH RINGING)
Pete, you're bleeding.
I'm fine.
Pete.
I'm fine.
Here, answer that.
Yeah?
You're looking for jewelry.
This thing.
Yeah, we know.
We just saw it in a woman's hair.
She tried to kill us.
A woman?
What woman?
MYKA: Her name is
Lorna Soliday. She's...
Part of the ruling class, single,
successful, she's middle-aged.
She's a survivor
of family tragedies
and the death
of loved ones.
She's connected somehow
to a young man,
a young man that she believes
needs her protection?
He's good, yeah.
Pretty good. Yeah.
What's the matter with you two?
You two all right?
Okay, anyway, look.
This comb is transmitting Lucrezia Borgia.
Lucrezia who?
Borgia.
She's a cutthroat Italian who ruled Italy
in the 1600s with her father and brothers.
My family owned
a bookstore, remember?
That's right.
That's right.
So what do you mean
"the comb's transmitting"?
An alchemist made it, okay?
Out of what, I don't know.
It's supposed to be some
kind of Renaissance roofie.
Somehow the crystals
in the ionized metal
in this thing are affecting
brain chemistry.
What about
the phrase?
Yeah, the phrase. Okay.
That's like some kind of phonetic trigger.
This is a very, very, very unhappy woman.
Very unlucky in love.
There's supposed
to be a jewelry box.
We found it
in Marzotto's office.
He must have given
Soliday the comb.
Like her, she wants
love at any cost.
She wants love, and she
is gonna kill to get it.
Okay, she wants Cody,
so she wants Emily gone.
And Emily's at the party.
What are you talking
about a party?
What party?
Oh, God.
Some Renaissance blowout
for some Machiavelli play.
Machiavelli?
This woman's gonna be there? Yes.
You've gotta
stop this woman.
Lucrezia Borgia,
600 years ago,
started a bloody
reign of terror,
and this comb is gonna wanna
start it all over again.
It's got twisted desires,
and it'll amplify,
it'll spread like some
kind of orgiastic virus.
First to Iowa,
then to Nebraska,
then to Illinois.
We understand.
Probably first to
Illinois and then...
Okay, look, we need to get
you to a hospital first...
No, no, no, no, no.
Pete.
No, look, I'm trained to
take a bullet if necessary.
But I'm not sure how to
stop a dead Italian cougar.
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(CODY AND SOLIDAY
RECITING IN ITALIAN)
We need some
kind of approach.
I have no more
color-coded plans.
There's a silver lining.
Okay, I'll go in,
grab Cody. You flank.
No, you flank.
Trust me.
Okay.
Okay. That's not creepy.
(CLEARING THROAT)
How you doing?
Ooh. That's nice.
Cody! Cody.
Come on, man, you don't
wanna do this. Okay.
Look.
Hey, hey.
Hey, you don't wanna hurt her.
Okay. Just let Emily go.
Oh, he intends to.
Her dying scream
will be the trigger...
Hey, hey, hey.
Look, nobody's
screaming, okay?
We're gonna take
a deep breath,
we're all gonna come
back down to Earth.
Cute.
Cody.
Kid's fast.
What's your pain, Lorna?
What are you afraid of?
You know.
And so does she.
Show's over.
Drop the comb thing.
Did you really
let your lover die?
Myka.
Shut up.
For a chance at glory?
I said shut up.
Don't look at it, Myka.
Myka!
(RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(ALL RECITING IN ITALIAN)
(PANTING)
(CLICKS)
Yeah, sorry.
No one's dying here tonight.
But you might
lose a tooth.
MYKA: Pete!
(NEUTRALIZER POWERING UP)
Duck and cover?
(PANTING)
(GUN CLATTERS)
(ALL WHISPERING)
What did I do?
It's okay.
It's over.
(WHIMPERING)
(SIGHING)
Love hurts, I know.
DICKINSON: So here's the deal.
You got a choice.
You can come back to D.C.
, or you can stay with the new assignment.
What's the catch?
I only get you.
Lattimer has to stay there.
And if I stay,
what happens to Pete?
He still stays.
How long do I have
to think about it?
About five more seconds.
Four, three, two.
(WHOOSHING)