Walker, Texas Ranger (1993–2001): Season 1, Episode 1 - One Riot, One Ranger - full transcript
Among the issues Walker has to deal with include a new partner named Trivette, a group of men terrorizing a circus family who camp out at his home, and some bad guys who plan on the ultimate bank caper.
( tranquil theme playing)
(birds chirping)
( suspenseful theme playing)
(crows cawing)
Come on. Come on, move it!
You know what's in
these bags? A lot of honey.
It's gonna sweeten
things for a long, long time.
Well, the only honey I
like walks on two legs. Ha!
Yeah, well, I know
a place in Mexico,
take care of that
and plenty others.
This is the last of it.
Then let's go.
What do you wanna
do with 'em, leave 'em?
In this heat, in the
middle of nowhere?
Sure. Why not?
Buzzards gotta eat too.
(engine starts)
(tires squeal)
( inspirational theme playing)
(crows cawing)
(clucking)
(Mexican music playing inside)
(men chattering inside)
MAN: Hurry up with
that beer, will you?
Did you see the look
on that guy's face?
I mean it. Did you see it?
And then, surprise: boom!
(men laughing inside)
( suspenseful theme playing)
You think they found
those two guys yet,
aside from the buzzards?
There were a couple
of old heifers, man,
there in the field,
where we got 'em.
They might have called the cops.
(all laughing)
Beer.
You boys are under arrest.
Stuff it, buddy.
You got no jurisdiction
south of the border.
You can't do squat.
Watch me.
( dramatic theme playing)
I don't think you're getting
the meaning of this, buddy,
and right now,
I see four of us and one of you.
That's about right.
I'm gonna cut your face.
Stop talking and do it.
(bone snaps) Arghh!
(grunting)
(glass smashing)
This is Mexico,
Ranger. You got no right.
I've got no right?
No!
I think that's a
pretty good right.
(engine starts)
( rustic theme playing)
Walker.
Got anything to declare?
Just some dirty
laundry in the back.
Bigger load than usual.
You're gonna need some
mighty strong detergent.
I reckon.
( cheerful theme playing)
ALEX: Walker, you said
this was a clean,
legal bust this time.
I did. It was.
You exceeded your authority.
You went into Mexico
without authorization
or consultation. Not true.
Now, I'm gonna have
to kick them loose.
It was a clean bust, Alex.
I had authorization.
From whom?
The governor of
Sonora. Remember him?
ALEX: I just hope
he remembers you.
Governor, hello.
GOVERNOR: Lovely
to hear your voice.
Yes. It's good to hear
your voice as well.
I hate to bother you,
but I need to ask
you a question.
Yes, what can I do for you?
Did one of our Rangers
have permission to
come across the border?
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Yes, sir. That's correct.
Cordell Walker.
I knew it. Put that
old devil on the phone.
I think he wants to talk to you.
Hello, governor.
Walker. Walker, you've
done it again, haven't you?
Yes, sir.
Well, probably if you weren't
so thoroughly and
absolutely incorrigible...
Ha-ha.
- -it wouldn't be like you.
I really appreciate hearing
you say that, governor.
Yes. Well, Walker,
put the DA back on.
I think he wants to talk to you.
ALEX: Yes?
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Right.
S-sure, whatever
you say, governor.
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Yes, sir.
( upbeat rustic theme playing)
(crowd chattering)
What are you doing, C.D.?
I'm doing what you
call your concentrating.
It takes a lot of
concentrating to be a writer.
A lot of concentrating.
Yeah, especially if
you're writing about
all the trouble you got us into
back when you were a Ranger.
Which was, as I recall,
one-third fact and
two-thirds fiction.
Yeah, like that little trip
you took down to
Mexico yesterday?
Sounds like something
I would've done.
Still would if they'd
let me do it. But...
You know, one little
bullet wound in your leg,
and them doctors
go all to pieces.
It was your knee
that went all to pieces.
I tell you, this
medical retirement,
look what it's doing to me.
I must have gained
five, 15 pounds.
More like 100. What?
I said, I wonder what it
is you're writing about.
Oh, it's just an advice
column for the Gazette.
I don't make no money doing it,
but it's gonna be real
good for my business.
Won't be too long before
people are gonna be
flocking in here just
to see old Trail Buddy.
Who?
Trail Buddy.
That's me. That's my pen name.
See? Right here.
"Dear Trail Buddy."
It's an advice column
to the lovelorn, the lost,
the bewildered, the lonely.
You know, Cordell, I have
got more advice in me.
I bet you I could straighten out
every man, woman,
dog, child, chicken.
Anything with hair on it
in Dallas and Fort Worth
in three area codes combined.
I don't doubt it.
Hey, Walker. C.D.
WALKER: Hey.
What do you think of this?
See? What'd I tell you?
Everybody wants advice.
(chuckles)
Let's see that.
Oh, that's pretty. Yeah.
This for that little gal
of yours, Amy Lou?
Yeah. Think she'll like it?
Never been real good
picking out this sort of stuff.
Well, she'll like
it for what it is,
and she'll like it
for what it ain't.
What's that?
C.D.: Well, it ain't
a wedding ring.
And that's what she wants.
It's written all over
her face, plain as day.
Did you get this at Harriet
Wilson's Trading Post?
Yeah. It's supposed to be
real 24-karat Black Hills Gold.
Why?
I hate to tell you this,
Mobley, but it's gold-plated.
Hm. I'll bet you
paid 100 more bucks
than that's worth.
Hey, where you going?
They ain't got a
return policy, you know.
They do now.
You know, 15 years as a cop,
five years as a Ranger,
I don't believe I've
ever run into anybody
as innocent as he is.
I mean, he really,
really believes
in people, Cordell.
And that is a gift from God.
It's also dangerous
for a Ranger.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Do you serve tourists in here?
Oh, we used to.
But we couldn't chop
'em up small enough
to stay on a plate.
(C.D. laughs)
WALKER: He's only kidding.
Come on in. Sit down.
You're spoiling all my fun.
(rooster crows)
(machinery whirring)
(sighs)
What are you doing, Uncle Ray?
Extending the wall.
What does it look like?
You've been
extending for ten years.
This place is already too big.
You never know. You
might get married someday.
Don't start that again.
It wouldn't hurt to have
a few grandchildren
running around this place.
Might lighten things up a bit.
Uncle Ray, what am
I gonna do with you?
I asked the same
question of our tribal chief
when you were given me to raise
after your father died.
What'd he say?
Deal with it.
(laughs)
Washoe.
You forgot to say good
morning to the sun.
What sun, Uncle Ray?
It's freezing out here.
Do it anyway.
(sighs)
Morning.
( suspenseful theme playing)
(tires squeal)
(customers chattering)
(phones ringing)
Nobody move!
Hands in the air! Now!
All right, you heard
him. Get 'em up!
(grunts)
It's all right. I've got you.
It's all right.
(woman screams)
(hostages chattering)
WOMAN (over radio): All
units, robbery in progress
at 1st Multinational Bank.
All units, robbery
in progress...
(siren wailing) at 1st
Multinational Bank.
(laughs)
Get back there and
see what's happening.
Hang it up. We
only got 49 seconds.
But we can't... We
can't leave all this.
You know something?
You're right.
Let's go! We're late!
(tires squealing)
Police! Stop, or I'll shoot!
(hostages chattering)
Come on! We gotta go!
Move! (hostages
chatter anxiously)
Freeze! You're under arrest!
Face down on the sidewalk, now!
(door opens) Sir!
Stop there. Hold it.
Sir, I'm a Texas Ranger.
Come this way, toward my voice.
Over here.
Let's go! Out of here! Move!
Move!
(engine starts)
(tires squealing)
( dramatic theme playing)
Witness says he was
trying to help someone
he thought was blind.
Didn't know he was
one of the robbers.
Guy shot him point-blank.
Never even had a
chance to defend himself.
We got the entire Dallas-Fort
Worth area on alert,
checking every street
for the getaway car.
So far, nothin'.
Walker.
I'm sorry. I don't
mean to be insensitive
at a time like this, but I
need to talk to you about
something very urgent.
Alex, I've got a lot
on my mind right now.
Will you just hear me out?
I'm sure you know
we've had a circus
in town all week.
Yes, I know.
Well, a young
performer... A trapeze artist.
Was raped and beaten
by three local men.
They were arrested,
but they're already out on bail.
Since then, they have
threatened the girl,
and the only witnesses
who saw it happen:
two other people
from the circus.
All three of them are
absolutely terrified.
Why are you telling me this?
Because they're planning
to leave town tomorrow
when the circus goes.
That's what they've
been told to do
by those three animals.
Which means, I have no case,
and those rapists go scot-free.
(sighs)
You still haven't
answered my question.
Why are you telling me this?
Well, I thought if
the circus people
had a place to stay
where they would feel safe...
If you're gonna say what I think
you're gonna say, forget it.
Walker.
I need your help.
She needs your help.
Her name is Lisa Edwards.
She's only 16 years old.
This is what she looked like
after those men
got through with her.
This poor little
girl is destroyed.
If we don't help her,
this case is gonna
slip through the seams
of the criminal justice system,
and that would be a tragedy.
Okay, um...
Take 'em to my ranch.
I'll call Uncle Ray,
and he'll take care
of 'em until I get there.
Walker, there is a
special place in heaven
for people like you.
Yeah, and I can't
wait to get there.
(sighs)
( tranquil theme playing)
MAN: You were told to be
in and out in three minutes.
A hundred and eighty seconds.
No matter what.
And instead, you fouled up.
You know what you
sound like, buddy?
A damn drill sergeant.
But I'm not in the Army anymore,
and nobody chews me
out for doing a good job.
Hey, look. Just give us our cut.
We'll be on our way.
It's like you never met us.
Doesn't work that way.
I warned you both
from the outset
that you were on a
split-second time schedule.
But you got greedy.
And besides that blunder,
we now have a dead
Ranger on our hands,
which will make
things difficult.
Oh, man, this is getting
too spooky for me.
Trial runs, time
limits, and for what?
What's this big-time
caper you're gonna pull?
So far, all I've seen is
nickel-and-dime stuff.
Oh, it's big-time.
Be assured of that.
And it's going
down in five days.
But you two... don't qualify.
(blows landing)
Get rid of 'em.
Don't waste any time.
(crows cawing)
Why is it so hard to find
good help these days?
(sighs)
( suspenseful theme playing)
Here they come.
MAN: I almost forgot
how pretty she was.
The DA's not so
bad-looking, either.
What's the matter with you guys?
Just chalk it up to hormones.
(car engine starts)
( ominous theme playing)
(birds chirping)
(dog barking, horse whinnying)
(soft country music
playing on radio)
(dishes and cutlery clattering)
MAN: There's
really nothing to it.
Just practice, practice,
practice and practice.
You know, to tell you the
truth, when I was a little boy,
I wanted to be a trapeze artist,
a sword swallower.
Never had the courage.
It doesn't always take courage,
and you learn real fast.
North Africa, 1943.
I swallowed a German
bayonet right here.
Swallowed? Huh.
Missed my heart by
less than half an inch.
(door opens)
Is Uncle Ray
telling war stories?
RAY: We almost started
dinner without you.
WALKER: Cordell Walker.
Misha. Misha Bogadar.
And this is my
lovely wife, Yelena.
Besides being a perfect cook,
she tells perfect fortunes.
I don't know what
you're cooking, ma'am,
but it sure smells good.
It's a chicken étouffée.
A recipe I picked
up while the circus
was in New Orleans.
This is Lisa
Edwards, Mr. Walker.
She's like a daughter to us.
Hi, Lisa.
Uh, I was getting
a lesson in juggling.
Figured I might wanna
run off with the circus.
(laughs) Something I've been
wanting to do since
I was 6 years old.
You better watch him, folks.
You may find him in the back
of one of your
trucks. (chuckles)
I wouldn't mind.
( ominous theme playing)
MAN: We should've hit 'em
before that Ranger showed up.
When it was just that
Russki and that old Injun.
How long we gonna
sit here waitin'?
Can't do nothing with them
other two in the house anyway.
MAN 2: Stop your yammering.
I knew I should've
lit out on my own.
I don't know why I
even bother with you.
(engine starts)
(horse whinnies)
Well,
that was the best meal
I've had in a long time.
(chuckles)
The whole secret is in the roux.
And all that is is flour
and oil mixed together
and heated in equal proportions.
MISHA: Heh, heh. She
makes it sound so easy.
It isn't. (Ray laughs)
I have to do all the
cooking out here.
My nephew, he
can't even boil water.
(others laugh)
( melancholy theme playing)
YELENA: She keeps
going off like that. Alone.
We try, but she won't
ever talk about it.
All we can do is
support her with our love.
She hasn't even cried yet.
It was an excellent
meal, Yelena. Thank you.
(horse whinnying)
(door opens) (horse whinnies)
(horse whinnies)
That's my horse over
there, making all the noise.
Her name is Cookie.
She's upset with
me because I haven't
ridden her in a while.
(Cookie whinnies)
I want you to know,
Lisa, that you're safe here.
( melancholy theme playing)
My dad grew up on a
reservation not too far from here.
He was full-blooded Cherokee.
He used to ride
bulls in the local rodeo
to earn extra money.
In fact, that's where
he met my mom.
He was climbing
in a chute one day
to ride this old bull, and...
he looked up into the stands
and saw this pretty
white girl smiling at him.
They met and fell in love
and got married soon after.
I remember when I
was about 12 years old,
a carnival came to this town
where we were
living in at the time.
I'd never been to
a carnival before,
and I wanted to
go in the worst way.
It was the first time I'd
ever seen a Ferris wheel
or eaten cotton candy.
I must have rode
that Ferris wheel
at least six times.
It was a terrific evening,
watching my mom and dad laugh.
There wasn't much to
laugh about in those days.
We were walking back to the car.
I remember we had
an old Model T Ford.
And the cars were all
parked out in this dirt field.
My dad had one arm around my mom
and was holding my
hand with the other.
As we approached the car,
these three, uh,
guys walked up to us.
They were big guys.
Filthy clothes and
smelled of alcohol.
They started saying these
crude things to my mom.
Like how could she be
with a dirty, rotten Indian
and bring a half-breed
into this world?
My dad was a... Was
a very proud man,
and he confronted these guys.
And a fight started.
They must have
figured three-on-one
would be no contest.
But they didn't know my dad.
My dad was whupping
up on 'em pretty good.
Then I saw a knife appear
in one of the guys' hand.
And I saw him stab
my dad right in the back.
And he stabbed, and he stabbed.
Like my dad's back
was a sack of grain
that he was trying to open.
My mom screamed and ran in there
to try to stop him.
He spun around on my mom, and...
I saw this shocked
look on her face, and...
And I saw blood all over
the front of her dress.
She looked down
at her stomach...
and slowly fell to the
ground, next to my dad.
Did they hurt you too?
They hurt me real bad.
What happened to
your mom and dad?
My dad died where he fell.
My mom died two
days later at the hospital.
How could you ever get
over something like that?
You don't get over
it completely, Lisa.
But time has a way of
helping make things better.
And with the love of friends
like Misha and Yelena,
they will get better.
I promise.
(sobbing): Why'd
they do that to me?
Why did they have
to hurt me like that?
Lisa, don't let your
life be destroyed
by something that you
could not possibly prevent.
(sobs)
( melancholy theme playing)
WALKER: Okay, C.D.
Why are you so interested
in me meeting this new Ranger?
You know, Cordell,
you're gonna love
Mobley's replacement.
His name's Trivette.
Jimmy Trivette.
I just know you're
gonna love him.
I doubt it.
No, he's a good
man. He really is.
Grew up in Baltimore,
wrong side of the tracks.
But he got himself
a football scholarship
to Penn State.
You sure know a
lot about this guy.
Wide receiver.
Cowboys drafted him,
comes down here and...
the last game of
his rookie season,
he just tore his
shoulder all to hell.
Course, as we know, no...
No team in the league's
gonna touch him after that.
Figured his life was about over.
Went through some
really bad times.
But getting on
the highway patrol
is what saved him.
Then he worked
Narcotics for a while.
I mean, the guy's really,
really on the cutting edge.
(laughing)
You know what
he did just for fun?
He wrote a proposal to modernize
the entire Department
of Public Safety.
(laughing)
Well, I'll tell you what, C.D.
The next time I'm in
a gunfight, I'll read it.
Well, Cordell, don't
feel threatened.
Nobody expects you
to come smiling
into the 21st Century.
Hey, Jimmy.
Trivette!
Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy.
Looks can be
deceiving, you know.
Not those looks.
How you doing, Jimmy? All right.
Jimmy Trivette, Cordell Walker.
You guys are gonna
be working together.
Yeah. Good to meet you, Walker.
Heard an awful lot about you.
Some of it good,
some of it... But...
guess the best thing to do
is keep an open mind, huh?
(chuckles)
How's the water?
It's terrific. It's fantastic.
Perfect temperature.
Not too much chlorine, you know.
Time out, okay? I
gotta grab my napalm.
Yeah.
Just give him a chance, Cordell.
My training drink.
Getting ready for a triathlon.
Got carrot juice
mixed with parsley,
cucumber, spinach and apple.
It's delicious.
Jimmy here's one
of them juicetarians.
He practically
lives on that stuff.
Hey, want a hit?
No, thanks. I'm
trying to cut back.
Well, look here.
Got that meeting to get to.
Hey, I'm not officially
checked in yet,
but Captain Price
had me take a look
at the report on
that bank robbery.
So I took the liberty
of running it through
some computer reports
of similar robberies.
Non-specific.
Just from the same
neighborhood, methodology.
Came up with exactly three.
A jeweler's, a dry cleaner's
and a check-cashing store.
And the robbers all wore wigs,
just like at the bank.
How'd you know?
I checked too.
Without computers.
Did you get a
chance to take a peek
at the inventory of
what was stolen?
Some money, clothes.
Yeah. That's all they knew
when they filed the
initial crime report.
See, I doubled back with
the insurance company
and ran it through
their claims computers.
They stole clothes from
the dry cleaner's, yeah.
Twelve paramedics' uniforms.
Interesting, isn't it?
( pensive theme playing)
I'm gonna love him?
( ominous theme playing)
MAN: Tell me what you
know of explosives, Mr. Cobalt.
C4 in particular.
I know all I need to know.
That is not an answer.
Be specific.
Well, which part, the
buying or the selling?
I can supply the material.
I require a craftsman.
Well, hell, that's
the easy part.
I made bombs as
small as a music box
or big as a suitcase.
Any size, shape,
force or magnitude,
I'm your man.
References?
(chuckles)
Well...
You know, these guys don't
exactly want their names
on a résumé, now, do they?
(crunching)
Well, I did do a little job
for the Libyans a while back.
Big job, actually. Primo bucks.
They gave me half a million
just to set up the... You
are a liar, Mr. Cobalt.
Hey, now wait a...
Two kinds of operatives
work for the Libyans:
the silent and the
recently deceased.
Now, I know you
are not the former.
Would you care to be the latter?
Okay, okay. All right.
Just trying to make it sound
a little better, that's all.
But the fact is, I am qualified.
I can do any job
you got, I swear.
Remove him.
And on the way out, explain
why one should never lie
to a potential employer.
Consider yourself lucky
you're leaving this
room alive, Mr. Cobalt.
(grunting)
Find me someone else.
Tonight.
Captain.
How'd your meeting
go with the new guy?
He'll do fine. Anything
new on the robbery?
We managed to ID
the robber Mobley killed.
Pete Sims out of Miami.
Any priors? Tons of 'em.
All for bank heists.
Used C4 to blow the safes.
Wait a minute, captain.
The team that hit the
jewelry store used C4.
Where you going?
Check out a hunch.
Come on, Trivit.
Trivette.
Here.
Hold this till I get back.
( slow rock theme playing)
I'll do the talking.
You just hang loose.
Hey, Walker.
Long time no see.
What's it been, June? July?
Yeah, about that.
Listen, I got a new
shipment of SIGs in here.
You need to buy
yourself one of these.
That's the best
doggone handgun made.
I've got one, Lamar.
What I need is some information.
You know me, Walker.
I'll help you if I can.
Where would a guy
go to get some C4?
Now, I don't know if I
can help you with that.
That stuff's illegal.
WALKER: So is upgrading
semiautomatics to automatics, Lamar.
LAMAR: Why are
you doing this to me?
The kind of
information you're askin'
can get a man hurt permanent.
It'll be just between
you and me.
Okay.
There's one guy I know about.
He says he can get rocket
launchers, bazookas, C4,
anything you need.
Goes by the name of Cobalt.
( ominous theme playing)
WALKER: Cobalt.
That's it?
He's a shooter.
Lives down at the gun range.
And, listen, you find
this guy, you be careful.
He's a real tripwire.
(gunshots)
(gunshots)
WALKER: Texas Ranger, Cobalt.
Lay the weapon down.
( tense theme playing)
Never thought the DMV
would send a Ranger down here
just to collect on a
few parking tickets.
( suspenseful theme playing)
(Cobalt screams)
(Trivette speaking indistinctly)
Oh, come on!
(door opens)
How come you're
pumping so hard, Trivit?
I thought you were
supposed to be in great shape.
Well, you drove and I ran,
so next time, I'll
drive and you run.
I don't think so.
Question:
Why is Cobalt so scared of you?
Because I'm a scary kind of guy.
I busted him once.
I hope he's still laughing
when you question him.
WALKER: Cobalt,
stop playing games.
We found enough
guns in your place
to start a small revolution.
Big deal. Run a trace.
I got it all legal.
(chuckles)
Anyway, so what
if you are right,
and some wacko did come to
me asking to buy C4? So what?
Doesn't prove nothing, does it?
That wacko may have
killed a friend of mine.
So you better take this serious.
Real serious.
I'm gonna give you five minutes.
MAN: You pick up that warrant?
MAN 2: Right.
MAN: No, that's fine.
MAN: No problem at all.
Yeah. Well, I would suggest...
Why do you have
all those glasses?
Spares. I keep breaking them
every time I get into a fight.
Must happen a lot.
Hey, bad temper, man.
Sometimes I can't help
myself. I turn into an animal.
So how's it going with Cobalt?
It's going.
Yeah.
You think you can do better?
Heh, what took
you so long to ask?
( playful theme playing)
Time's up, Cobalt.
No, no, no. Get him out of
here, now. Come on, come on.
Nice to see you again, Cobalt.
Aren't you gonna
congratulate me?
Take a look at the badge.
You guys made him
a Ranger? You're nuts.
You know what
this guy did to me?
Like I should care, right?
But just get ready to spend all
the state's money on lawsuits.
I'm out of here.
No, no, no, man.
Me alone with him? I don't
think so. I don't think so.
What's the statute of
limitations on civil suits?
I think I might have
to sue this guy.
Assuming they can
find the corpus delicti.
We can make this easy,
or we can make it hard.
The choice is yours,
Cobalt. Sit down.
(sighs)
Ever seen one of these before?
Genuine souvenir Texas horsefly.
Gifts shops are full of them.
Makes them practically
impossible to trace.
I doctored it up, put
in a little C4, a timer.
How much bang has it got?
Well, we'll know in, uh...
In exactly nine seconds.
No!
(grunts)
( ominous theme playing)
Well done, Mr. Boggs.
Welcome to the team.
COBALT: So I'm standing
there in this, uh, magazine place,
just kind of joy-cruising.
TRIVETTE: Doing what?
Paging through centerfolds.
And I happen to pick
up this certain publication
that caters to, uh,
mercenaries and war freaks.
And my eye happens to see
this ad that promises rich reward
for men who are
not afraid of danger.
And, of course, you
just couldn't resist.
So I called it.
And about five minutes
later, this guy calls me back.
I tell him my qualifications,
and he says to meet him
at the post office
on Clemson Street.
I figure, it's Saturday he's...
What are you...? What...?
Just stick to the facts, Cobalt.
Just tell us what happened.
You're not gonna do anything
crazy to me again, are you?
Let me tell you something.
Torture is illegal. Hm?
Did you know that?
Hm?
Okay, these two big
guys, they blindfold me,
and they put me in
back of a gray van.
I saw that before they, uh,
put the blindfold on, you know.
Did you notice the
license number?
Yeah. I notice everything.
B0A024.
Of course, you'd better
write it down, huh?
I-it was obviously stolen,
because three minutes
later, they switched cars.
And from the
sound of that engine,
I figure it was a
late-model domestic...
It's a waste of time.
You're wasting my
time with speculation.
I told you stick to the facts!
Hey, just stop it,
man! Just stop it.
'Cause I'm freaked out
enough as it is already,
with that damn lunatic
sticking that light in my eye.
And I'm a hostage. I don't know
if I'm gonna get out of there alive,
especially when
he says I'm lying.
And he's right, I am lying,
but why should that be
reason not to harm me?
And how's he know I'm lying,
unless he knows who did do
that book bomb for the Libyans?
If he knows that,
he's CIA, baby.
Get it? Big-time, huh?
S... So just don't pressure
me. I'll tell you, okay?
I'll just tell it my own way.
(sighs)
( ominous theme playing)
So where'd he take you?
Some sleazebag motel.
Puke-green carpets
and, like, uh, some red
hibiscus things on the bedspread.
(chuckles)
I never saw his face,
if that's what you're
wondering, okay?
I told you he had these
big photographer's lights
that shined right in my eyes.
I was blinded almost
the whole time.
To tell you the truth, I
didn't see a damn thing.
Okay. He... He... He... He
had black cowboy boots,
and he was eating
pistachio nuts.
That's all. That's all.
Let's go buy some
mercenary magazines.
Why?
You're going undercover.
Why me?
You said you're an animal.
( upbeat country theme playing)
This is it.
Here.
You're right.
That's gotta be the ad
Cobalt was talking about.
The number is probably a pager.
Let's call it and find out.
MAN: Oh, really?
I've got a beep.
Here it goes.
When they call
back, you can answer.
Cordell, this could
be a bad time, but...?
It is a bad time right now, C.D.
Well, I... I just want you to
meet some people, that's all.
Well, actually, they're kids.
Just over here.
(rings)
It's all yours.
Here. TRIVETTE: Yeah, hello?
Juanita, Jason, Kenny,
say hello to the most
famous Texas Ranger
alive or dead.
WALKER: Hi, kids.
Well, he's
exaggerating a little bit.
Especially about the
dead part. (chuckles)
You guys scoot on down
to that there table over there.
Get anything want.
Compliments of Ranger Walker.
(chattering)
Well, I'll tell you
what, Cordell...
if that don't break you heart.
You know that every
one of them little folks
is from a homeless family?
You're doing it
to me again, C.D.
I can see it.
Doing what?
Is eight seconds of
your time too much to ask
to help build a shelter
for little kids like that?
Eight seconds?
Eight seconds or less.
It just depends on how
long you can stay on that bull.
What bull?
The bull that I told them
that you was gonna ride
for the charity rodeo
over at Billy Bob's.
Look, I-I-I even told them
that you were state champ.
Oh, for crying out loud,
C.D., that was five years ago,
and I wound up in the hospital.
It... It's like
riding a bicycle.
One... Once you
learn, you don't forget.
Hey, kids, he's gonna do it,
and he thanks you
for letting him help.
ALL: Yay, Walker!
You're gonna be the
death of me yet, C.D.
Walker, I got it.
They're gonna meet me at
the corner of Griffin and Corbin.
They're gonna pick me up there
and take me someplace
for an interview.
You have any
close friends, Trivit?
Trivette. Yes, I do.
Shoot 'em while you still can.
( suspenseful theme playing)
Trivit, can I ask
you a question?
Your dime.
About Cobalt, are
you ever gonna tell me
why he's so scared of you?
(chuckling)
Yeah, I'll tell you.
That time when I busted him,
it didn't hold up in court,
so they sent him home.
They released him.
And I guess that night,
while he was asleep,
a whole bunch of snakes
got into his apartment.
Slimy little buggers
were crawling
all over the place,
and, somehow, all the
electricity got shut off,
and all the doors got locked,
and for some
reason, he blames me.
Can you believe that?
Did you do it?
Come on, Walker. You know me.
Not yet, but I'm learning.
(chuckles)
Say, roll it down.
You can't park here.
It's a restricted area.
That's the car.
I don't like the way this looks.
Let's get the hell outta here.
( fast, tense theme playing)
(engine starts)
Hey!
(engine starts)
(horn honking)
(horns honking)
(gunshots)
(car alarm blaring)
Go, go, go!
(siren wailing)
(gunshots)
(horn honking)
(tires screech)
(horn honking)
( suspenseful theme playing)
(gunshots)
(gunshots)
(panting): At least I
got the license number.
Probably stolen.
Yeah, probably.
It's the only good
lead we had too.
Well, welcome to the
Texas Rangers, Trivit.
Trivette.
Well, it's all in a
day's work... Trivit.
(sighs)
He's never gonna get it right.
( ominous theme playing)
What exactly is your specialty?
Well, let's just say I was
better at killing people
than I was at
international politics.
Trouble with your employer?
INTERVIEWEE: Partner.
It's past tense now.
I'm proud to say
I don't have a
single living enemy.
And who did you work for last?
Orson, you son
of a... Is that you?
(chuckles)
INTERVIEWEE:
Still can't believe it.
Last time I saw you was
just before you went inactive.
What, two years ago?
ORSON: Almost three.
Here I figured you'd be head
of Clandestine Ops by now.
What happened?
Remember that drunk, Peterson,
that had a hand at selling
C-130 parts to Qaddafi?
I thought you fired him.
I did.
But then he started
telling everybody
that I was unloading the parts
myself and keeping the money.
Now, why would he go
and say a thing like that?
I don't know,
but by some strange
coincidence, he disappeared.
Anyway, I got tired of
piggybacking the big stuff,
slicing off little pieces.
It was time to go
for the mother wave
and ride it all the
way to Switzerland.
Now, am I allowed to ask
what you have in mind?
Look around you, J.J.
How many banks do you see?
( pensive theme playing)
Four.
We're gonna do all four?
At the same time.
Damn, Orson.
Nobody ever accused
you of thinking small.
No, they didn't.
WALKER: My gut's telling me
that this is bigger than it looks.
All we've got is there's a new
gang in town pulling robberies.
Right? Except for the bank
job, they're mid-level heists.
Jeweler's and a dry cleaner's.
I mean, we're not
talking Billy the Kid here.
What if all these
jobs are trial runs?
What if this guy's putting
together a crack team
to see how well
they work together,
before he goes
after the big heist?
All right.
You may have a point there.
Okay, when I get
back to the office,
I'll make some calls.
I'll find out what's
coming into town.
What are we talking about here?
Heavy-duty stuff, right?
Brink's deliveries, art
collections, that sort of thing.
Right. Yeah.
(sloshing)
Why do you slosh that
around in your mouth like that?
Activates the digestive juices.
Can I ask you a
personal question?
Let me guess.
You're sitting there wondering
what a guy who
grew up in Baltimore
is doing in the Texas Rangers.
How'd you know?
Because believe
it or not, Walker,
you're obvious.
Well, does that entitle
me to an answer?
Okay.
When I was a kid,
every Saturday
morning, I used to get up
and sneak into the living room
and watch my favorite TV show...
about the most famous
Texas Ranger of all time.
Last surviving member of a
squad ambushed by bandits,
nursed back from death
by an Indian, he became...
Huh, don't tell me.
That's right, man.
The Lone Ranger.
See, you gotta understand
where I come from.
It's concrete and asphalt,
and guys hanging
out on the corner
doing nothing but
getting into trouble.
There's no right.
There's no wrong.
It's just whatever gets
you through the night, man.
You got guys telling
you what you can't do,
what you can't have,
what you can't be.
But now here comes
this guy on a white horse,
and he goes where
he wants to go.
He does what he wants to do.
He's got the guts to say there
is a right, there is a wrong.
And he's out there
under the stars.
There's no tenements.
There's no street signs.
There's no liquor stores
as far as the eye can see,
just total freedom.
Now, can you imagine
what that meant
to a kid growing up
in a place like that?
No, I can't.
Childhood fantasy, right?
And I never thought
anything like that
was gonna happen to me.
But then I ruined my
shoulder playing football,
And I'm not exaggerating
when I tell you
that I could have gotten
into some serious trouble
if it hadn't...
Hadn't been for that
old coot over there.
TRIVETTE: An
honest-to-God Texas Ranger
who became my friend.
C.D.'s the one that got
me into law enforcement.
Helped me get back my pride.
He said if I really wanted it,
and I stuck it out,
that I could end up like the man
who rode the white horse
through my Saturday
mornings in Baltimore.
And here you are.
Here I am.
Wearing a silver star.
And driving Cordell
Walker crazy.
Mm. Too hot.
Mm-hm. Oh, thank you.
Thank you, dear.
(knocking on door)
I'll get it.
Well, hello
there, little darlin'.
(screams)
Go away! Leave us alone.
MAN: I can't believe
you folks is still here.
After you was
politely asked to leave.
Not a wise decision.
So we're gonna give you
a little free transportation
all the way to Oklahoma.
We're even gonna
throw in free meals.
MISHA: Go away, or...
Get 'em!
MAN 2: Jean, get out here!
Can't you idiots handle
a couple of women?
( suspenseful theme playing)
Lisa, would you go
behind my pickup truck
and pull down the
tailgate for me, please?
Yelena, would you
stand over there too?
Ranger, we're leavin'.
You're leaving, all right.
But you're going to jail.
No way.
No more jail. Never!
(cracking)
Aah! Aah!
Ow! Uhh!
I'm goin'!
(screaming)
Oh, my nose!
Ohh! God! You... Let me see.
You broke my nose.
I'll fix it.
(screaming)
Nah. Looks better the other way.
Ranger!
You screwed up.
You forgot to
read us our rights.
You're right.
You have the right...
to remain silent.
(groaning)
(neighing)
Aren't you missin' one?
Not anymore.
COMMENTATOR:
Gotta get off the rope.
He can't withstand
this barrage...
I could have beat either
one of these bozos.
These guys are
pretty good, Orson.
Look, you're just saying that
'cause you never saw me fight.
I have. No, thank you.
I saw him cut two
guys to pieces.
Two guys at the same time.
Orson. My source came through.
Guess who drove
that truck the other day.
A Texas Ranger.
Is that right?
Yeah, and he's a
close friend of the one
that got killed at the bank.
I knew this was gonna
come back to haunt us.
Those people aren't
fun to mess with, Orson.
When I was still
with the company,
I crossed one of them once.
They make their
own rules as they go.
Worse than the FBI.
Yeah. "One riot, one Ranger."
That's what their motto is.
This guy's named Walker.
And from what I can pick up,
he's the worst of the bunch.
Unless you like
challenges like that.
Now, what's that
supposed to mean?
Listen and learn.
Boggs, this is Orson Wade.
I have a special order for you.
You know those Texas
horseflies that you make so well?
Well, I need another one
in a small cardboard box,
and I need it tomorrow morning.
"One riot, one Ranger."
Well, guess what.
I'm changing it...
to one horsefly, one Ranger.
(door opens and closes)
What's on?
I missed Peoples'
Court last night.
Tape of the bank robbery.
That's the guy that
killed Bob Mobley.
A blind man?
No more blind than you and I.
Notice anything unusual, uncle?
Sure. The beard's false.
That man's trying to look old.
Anything else?
Kanock nask.
The spider that
lives on his hand.
It's black.
It could kill.
Washoe.
I had a dream last night.
You were all
alone in a desert...
and it became dark.
Black, like the spider.
It was only noon and
the sun was gone.
Be careful, nephew.
WOMAN: Yes, we have
several customers who are blind.
I generally help them
set up the account,
make out their deposits
and withdrawals.
Have you had any new customers,
say, in the last two weeks?
Only one. A gentleman that
came in about two days ago.
I remember because he
wanted to use the restroom,
and I showed him the way.
Was he about my
size, black beard,
wearing a Stetson hat?
Why, yes, I believe he was.
Do you know him?
Could I take a
look at his account?
Well, normally I'd have
to check with our manager,
but, as I recall,
he didn't actually
open the account.
He just came in,
asked some questions,
used the restroom and left.
Now, may I ask you a question?
Yeah, sure.
Are you married?
Do you know my uncle Ray?
No.
(moans)
Looking for somebody?
Uh, Cordell Walker.
He's out. His desk's
right around the corner.
Thanks a lot.
What's that smile all about?
We did it.
Those three animals
were indicted on all counts,
not to mention breaking
and entering yesterday
and assault with
a deadly weapon.
Great. Mr. Walker?
I'm never gonna
be able to thank you.
Ever.
The way you're feeling is
thanks enough for me, Lisa.
( lilting country theme playing)
And I'm never gonna
forget what you told me.
That's our secret, okay?
Okay.
So, what now?
She's going back to the
circus with Yelena and Misha.
They're meeting it in Waco.
In fact, if we don't hustle,
you're gonna miss your bus.
(chuckles)
If you don't mind,
I'll take one of those too.
I could get used to that.
Terrific. All I need
is a crazy cowboy.
Hi, Mildred.
Walker, you had a
package come for you
while you were out.
Who was it from?
How should I know, Walker?
I'm not as nosy as the
man sitting at your desk.
Make yourself comfortable.
Already did, thank you.
Where'd this come from?
That box. I already
opened it for you.
Figured it might be
something perishable.
You figured it was
something to eat.
You know what your problem is?
You're still mad at me
for hoodwinking you into
riding in that charity rodeo.
Well, guess what. I
hooked Jimmy into it too.
Trivette? Yeah.
Signed him up as a clown.
Good choice.
Ain't you gonna ask
me what I'm reading?
No name, no card.
Nothing.
This here is The Abridged
Sigmund Freud Portable Reader.
Book takes a lot
of concentration.
That's why I come over
here. I needed some quiet.
I figured since I was
doing that advice column,
I might as well bone
up on a little psychology.
Boy, I tell you, I
don't know what...
What was going on between
this guy and his mother,
but, buddy... he
was one weird dude.
Isn't this strange, C.D.?
An ashtray.
Everybody knows I don't smoke.
(phone ringing)
Walker.
Sorry. Wrong number.
(beeps)
He's there.
( suspenseful theme playing)
Get down!
(alarms sounding)
Is this quiet
enough for ya, C.D.?
I'm trying to follow your
reasoning on this, Walker,
but sometimes you
leave me in the dust.
Why would anyone be crazy
enough to bomb a Ranger office,
unless they were getting
ready to make their move?
And exactly what kind of
move are you talking about?
It's all in the information
Trivit put together.
There's an armored
car delivery...
To four Fort Worth banks,
and he's intrigued...
No, he's fixated.
By that fact that
they're all located
in a four-block radius, captain.
That's why the blind
man cased them.
He thinks they're
not gonna do one.
They're gonna do all four.
This isn't the Normandy
Invasion, Walker.
It'd take an army to knock
over four banks at one time.
No, two teams leapfrogging it.
Well, I say it's impossible.
If you look at that printout,
you'll find that the biggest
single delivery tomorrow
is to Southern Star across town.
That's their target.
I don't agree.
You don't have to, Walker.
The fact that they've started
blowing up state property
does not sit well
with the governor.
She suffers from the
old-fashioned belief
that we're responsible for
maintaining law and order.
Even as we speak,
she's heating hot coals
to pour over this
entire department.
Look, all I'm
saying is that maybe
you're too close to
this one to be objective.
With what happened to Mobley,
it's understandable you'd
take this kind of personal.
You're right
about that, captain.
I do take it personal.
( slow, ominous theme playing)
Can you tell me why
I shouldn't kill
all three of you
right here where
you're standing?
Especially you, J.J.
You're supposed
to have experience...
and brains.
Why wasn't Walker killed?
I don't know.
There was enough
C-4 in that ashtray
to kill him 20 times.
Hey, look, maybe it'll
work to our advantage.
Confuse 'em somehow.
Your reasons stink,
along with your reasoning.
But I'm in a time bind
and I'm running outta options.
What are you
standing around for?
Get your teams together!
Start setting up! Come on!
(door closes)
(upbeat country music playing)
(people laughing, chattering)
TRIVETTE: All right, granted,
your theory's got
some logic to it.
But four banks?
I just can't buy it.
(clinking) Good.
Good?
Why does that
make me suspicious?
Because you're
gonna cover the bank
on the other side of town.
That way, if I am wrong,
you can bring in the troops.
(clinking continues)
C.D., why are you fidgeting?
Oh, I'm trying to remember
where my gas mask is.
Gas mask? Yeah, gas mask.
Oh, yeah. They're gonna
be using tear-gas tomorrow.
You can count on it.
C.D., forget it.
Tomorrow morning, you're
gonna be sitting right over there,
typing your lovelorn column.
For your information,
that is already
completed for this week.
And there ain't no law
against a civilian bystander.
C.D., you're my mentor.
You're my guiding light.
You cannot sit there and tell me
that you agree with
Walker's thinking.
Well, I ain't saying that
Cordell can't be crazy,
but he ain't never been stupid.
ORSON: These are banks one, two,
three and four.
Here's the one across town.
The Southern Star.
Boggs...
you're gonna do
your thing at 10:05.
Colley, James, you're
gonna be in position at 10:08.
Now, team one enters
their first target at 10:09.
Team two enters their
first target at 10:09.
And that has gotta
be exact, gentlemen.
Not one second early or late.
That goes for you too, J.J.
I want you to move that
truck on my schedule.
Because we are
gonna give Fort Worth
the biggest surprise
that they have ever had.
(melancholy country
music playing)
Hey, partner.
Why don't you go up to the house
and get yourself some sleep?
C.D., I just can't help thinking
we're reading
this guy all wrong.
Well, Cordell, it's clear to
me what's gonna happen.
You're gonna ask the
banks to close and they won't.
Not based on a hunch.
Captain Price is gonna
object for the same reasons.
And you probably won't
get the nine men you need.
So come tomorrow,
one of two things
are gonna happen.
You'll either muddle
through it or you won't.
Either way, it ain't gonna
change the course of history.
Are you listening to me?
You know, C.D...
when you're right, you're right.
(bird screeching)
Morning, Mobley.
My friend... go with
the spirit of the owl.
He will see all things for you.
Go with the spirit of the hawk.
He will protect you
on your final journey.
Go with the spirit of the eagle.
He will soar you to your father.
Your father awaits you.
Payback time.
( determined synthesizer
theme playing)
I'm gonna put you
behind this desk.
Uh, is he under orders to shoot?
No, just to protect your
customers and personnel.
Okay, stay alert.
Park it over there.
Hey, Walker, you got any
activity on your side of town?
Nothing. But the banks
will be at maximum cash flow
between 10 and 11.
Yeah, well, if you're right,
we don't have long to wait.
Explain something to me, Trivit.
As long as it only requires
basic English, Cordell.
How'd you play professional
football wearing eyeglasses?
You ever hear of contact lenses?
That's the question.
Why aren't you using them now?
Because women say glasses
enhance the shape of my face.
Any other questions?
Not today.
Yeah.
Sign here, please.
Thanks.
That's gross. Who
sent you that thing?
I don't know.
There isn't any note.
(tires screeching)
Howdy.
C.D., what the heck
are you doing here?
Mobley was my
friend, too, Cordell.
Besides, that's
my bank over there.
You can't stop me
from making a deposit.
C.D.!
( suspenseful theme continues)
Damn!
Is everybody in position?
MAN: Affirmative.
Stand by. We're counting down.
Margaret, cover for me.
I'm going across the
street for a minute.
It's going down. It's
here, like I told ya.
I need every unit at the
Southern Star Bank, now!
(alarm ringing)
(Rangers yelling)
(alarm wailing)
(multiple sirens wailing)
( slow flute theme playing)
UNCLE RAY: I had
a dream last night.
You were all alone in a desert.
It became dark.
Black, like the spider.
It was only noon and
the sun was gone.
Be careful, nephew.
(tires screeching,
sirens blaring)
Come on, let's go!
Move it! Move it! Move it!
Come on! Go! Go! Go!
(horn honks)
(pedestrians yelling, screaming)
(gunfire stops)
Aah!
Cordell!
Aah!
MAN: All right, stay
down. Stay down.
C.D., you'll be the
death of me yet.
I don't see you bleedin'.
I didn't get that shavin'.
Is it bad?
No, no.
Here. Put this around it.
(alarm ringing)
Take some deep breaths.
(sirens approaching)
(guns cocking)
It's a bomb! It's a diversion!
Get back to Walker!
Lamar and 7th!
Everybody move! Tom,
come on, let me take that car!
(sirens starting)
( suspenseful
synthesizer theme playing)
MAN: Nobody move,
nobody gets hurt.
MAN 2: Stay on the ground
and keep your mouth shut.
Nobody moves!
(woman and men screaming)
Cops!
Do it now.
( suspenseful synthesizer
theme continues)
MAN 3: All right,
everybody out now! Quickly!
Let's go! Come on!
Hurry! Hurry! Come on!
(slams)
( suspenseful synthesizer
theme continues)
(tires screeching)
MAN: Move!
MAN 2: Let's get outta here!
C.D.: Hold it! Hold it!
Get on the ground
right now. Do it!
Who the hell are you, anyway?
C.D. Parker. Texas Ranger.
Retired.
Well, semi-retired.
(sirens approaching)
Halt! Texas Ranger!
You're under arrest!
(shotgun blast)
Drop your guns! Get down!
Freeze! Get on the ground! Now!
COP: Drop your weapons!
Yaah!
(grunting)
( soft flute theme playing)
UNCLE RAY: Kanock nask.
The spider that
lives on his hand.
It's black.
It could kill.
Texas Ranger.
Here. Take this.
Ohh! Damn!
And I liked this pair.
Dog... That was great work, son.
I wish Cordell could
have seen that.
Why disillusion him?
( suspenseful theme continuing)
(grunts)
So you're Walker, huh?
Good guess.
They tell me you're the best.
Oh, yeah?
What do you think?
Having fun yet?
(cracking)
This is for Mobley.
( triumphant guitar
theme playing)
(crowd cheering)
(bells clanging)
(buzzer buzzes)
ANNOUNCER: Let's hear it
for our rodeo volunteer clowns!
What a great job they do.
( announcer
speaking indistinctly)
James, is that you?
Ain't Bozo, counselor.
Do you know anything
about this clown stuff, Trivit?
I don't understand
what the big deal is.
All you gotta do
is a little dance,
then jump in that barrel
and watch the carnage.
Nice show.
(grunting)
Tom Jenkins on Bumper Pleasure.
(crowd cheering)
(buzzer buzzes)
This is definitely not
a recreational sport.
Let's hear it once again
for our voluntary clown.
Now, this bull here...
Hell, he'll kick hard,
and he'll kick high.
He belly-rolls, and
he's got a lot of drop.
(upbeat music
playing, crowd cheering)
(buzzer buzzes)
That one looks horrible.
(grunts)
He's a bad one, all right.
He's called the Terminator.
The thing with him is you
don't know what he's gonna do.
He's a very unpredictable bull.
And when you go off of him,
you gotta be really careful
because he'll put a
horn right through ya.
Okay, good people,
here's what you
been waiting for.
Riding for the
Children's Relief Fund,
our own Cordell Walker!
BOY: Yeah, Walker!
Listen to them.
You're a celebrity.
Hey, Cordell, you
better do good out there.
You got your whole
fan club watching you.
Okay, folks, if you
got a weak heart,
you better go on home.
'Cause the next man out
of the chute: Cordell Walker,
riding 2000 pounds
of death and destruction,
the ever-fearsome Terminator!
I should have known.
Hey, you don't have
to blow a gasket.
How do you think we
got all these people,
made all that money?
If I live through this, C.D.,
you're a dead man.
(chuckles)
WOMAN: Let's go, all right!
Well, folks, this is the
highlight of the evening,
the event you've
all been waiting for:
Cordell Walker riding
the Terminator for you.
That's right, for the
Children's Relief Fund.
(groans)
( announcer
continues indistinctly)
( stirring theme playing)
Loosen it up.
Okay, tighten it.
Okay.
(grunts)
Okay, boys.
(bull grunts and crowd cheers)
(buzzer)
You didn't stay on very long.
I only needed eight seconds.
ANNOUNCER: I don't
know, folks. That bull...
Hey, does that mean
he's gonna charge?
Shut up and run, Trivette.
Hey, you got my name right!
( upbeat theme playing)
(birds chirping)
( suspenseful theme playing)
(crows cawing)
Come on. Come on, move it!
You know what's in
these bags? A lot of honey.
It's gonna sweeten
things for a long, long time.
Well, the only honey I
like walks on two legs. Ha!
Yeah, well, I know
a place in Mexico,
take care of that
and plenty others.
This is the last of it.
Then let's go.
What do you wanna
do with 'em, leave 'em?
In this heat, in the
middle of nowhere?
Sure. Why not?
Buzzards gotta eat too.
(engine starts)
(tires squeal)
( inspirational theme playing)
(crows cawing)
(clucking)
(Mexican music playing inside)
(men chattering inside)
MAN: Hurry up with
that beer, will you?
Did you see the look
on that guy's face?
I mean it. Did you see it?
And then, surprise: boom!
(men laughing inside)
( suspenseful theme playing)
You think they found
those two guys yet,
aside from the buzzards?
There were a couple
of old heifers, man,
there in the field,
where we got 'em.
They might have called the cops.
(all laughing)
Beer.
You boys are under arrest.
Stuff it, buddy.
You got no jurisdiction
south of the border.
You can't do squat.
Watch me.
( dramatic theme playing)
I don't think you're getting
the meaning of this, buddy,
and right now,
I see four of us and one of you.
That's about right.
I'm gonna cut your face.
Stop talking and do it.
(bone snaps) Arghh!
(grunting)
(glass smashing)
This is Mexico,
Ranger. You got no right.
I've got no right?
No!
I think that's a
pretty good right.
(engine starts)
( rustic theme playing)
Walker.
Got anything to declare?
Just some dirty
laundry in the back.
Bigger load than usual.
You're gonna need some
mighty strong detergent.
I reckon.
( cheerful theme playing)
ALEX: Walker, you said
this was a clean,
legal bust this time.
I did. It was.
You exceeded your authority.
You went into Mexico
without authorization
or consultation. Not true.
Now, I'm gonna have
to kick them loose.
It was a clean bust, Alex.
I had authorization.
From whom?
The governor of
Sonora. Remember him?
ALEX: I just hope
he remembers you.
Governor, hello.
GOVERNOR: Lovely
to hear your voice.
Yes. It's good to hear
your voice as well.
I hate to bother you,
but I need to ask
you a question.
Yes, what can I do for you?
Did one of our Rangers
have permission to
come across the border?
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Yes, sir. That's correct.
Cordell Walker.
I knew it. Put that
old devil on the phone.
I think he wants to talk to you.
Hello, governor.
Walker. Walker, you've
done it again, haven't you?
Yes, sir.
Well, probably if you weren't
so thoroughly and
absolutely incorrigible...
Ha-ha.
- -it wouldn't be like you.
I really appreciate hearing
you say that, governor.
Yes. Well, Walker,
put the DA back on.
I think he wants to talk to you.
ALEX: Yes?
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Right.
S-sure, whatever
you say, governor.
( governor
speaking indistinctly)
Yes, sir.
( upbeat rustic theme playing)
(crowd chattering)
What are you doing, C.D.?
I'm doing what you
call your concentrating.
It takes a lot of
concentrating to be a writer.
A lot of concentrating.
Yeah, especially if
you're writing about
all the trouble you got us into
back when you were a Ranger.
Which was, as I recall,
one-third fact and
two-thirds fiction.
Yeah, like that little trip
you took down to
Mexico yesterday?
Sounds like something
I would've done.
Still would if they'd
let me do it. But...
You know, one little
bullet wound in your leg,
and them doctors
go all to pieces.
It was your knee
that went all to pieces.
I tell you, this
medical retirement,
look what it's doing to me.
I must have gained
five, 15 pounds.
More like 100. What?
I said, I wonder what it
is you're writing about.
Oh, it's just an advice
column for the Gazette.
I don't make no money doing it,
but it's gonna be real
good for my business.
Won't be too long before
people are gonna be
flocking in here just
to see old Trail Buddy.
Who?
Trail Buddy.
That's me. That's my pen name.
See? Right here.
"Dear Trail Buddy."
It's an advice column
to the lovelorn, the lost,
the bewildered, the lonely.
You know, Cordell, I have
got more advice in me.
I bet you I could straighten out
every man, woman,
dog, child, chicken.
Anything with hair on it
in Dallas and Fort Worth
in three area codes combined.
I don't doubt it.
Hey, Walker. C.D.
WALKER: Hey.
What do you think of this?
See? What'd I tell you?
Everybody wants advice.
(chuckles)
Let's see that.
Oh, that's pretty. Yeah.
This for that little gal
of yours, Amy Lou?
Yeah. Think she'll like it?
Never been real good
picking out this sort of stuff.
Well, she'll like
it for what it is,
and she'll like it
for what it ain't.
What's that?
C.D.: Well, it ain't
a wedding ring.
And that's what she wants.
It's written all over
her face, plain as day.
Did you get this at Harriet
Wilson's Trading Post?
Yeah. It's supposed to be
real 24-karat Black Hills Gold.
Why?
I hate to tell you this,
Mobley, but it's gold-plated.
Hm. I'll bet you
paid 100 more bucks
than that's worth.
Hey, where you going?
They ain't got a
return policy, you know.
They do now.
You know, 15 years as a cop,
five years as a Ranger,
I don't believe I've
ever run into anybody
as innocent as he is.
I mean, he really,
really believes
in people, Cordell.
And that is a gift from God.
It's also dangerous
for a Ranger.
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Do you serve tourists in here?
Oh, we used to.
But we couldn't chop
'em up small enough
to stay on a plate.
(C.D. laughs)
WALKER: He's only kidding.
Come on in. Sit down.
You're spoiling all my fun.
(rooster crows)
(machinery whirring)
(sighs)
What are you doing, Uncle Ray?
Extending the wall.
What does it look like?
You've been
extending for ten years.
This place is already too big.
You never know. You
might get married someday.
Don't start that again.
It wouldn't hurt to have
a few grandchildren
running around this place.
Might lighten things up a bit.
Uncle Ray, what am
I gonna do with you?
I asked the same
question of our tribal chief
when you were given me to raise
after your father died.
What'd he say?
Deal with it.
(laughs)
Washoe.
You forgot to say good
morning to the sun.
What sun, Uncle Ray?
It's freezing out here.
Do it anyway.
(sighs)
Morning.
( suspenseful theme playing)
(tires squeal)
(customers chattering)
(phones ringing)
Nobody move!
Hands in the air! Now!
All right, you heard
him. Get 'em up!
(grunts)
It's all right. I've got you.
It's all right.
(woman screams)
(hostages chattering)
WOMAN (over radio): All
units, robbery in progress
at 1st Multinational Bank.
All units, robbery
in progress...
(siren wailing) at 1st
Multinational Bank.
(laughs)
Get back there and
see what's happening.
Hang it up. We
only got 49 seconds.
But we can't... We
can't leave all this.
You know something?
You're right.
Let's go! We're late!
(tires squealing)
Police! Stop, or I'll shoot!
(hostages chattering)
Come on! We gotta go!
Move! (hostages
chatter anxiously)
Freeze! You're under arrest!
Face down on the sidewalk, now!
(door opens) Sir!
Stop there. Hold it.
Sir, I'm a Texas Ranger.
Come this way, toward my voice.
Over here.
Let's go! Out of here! Move!
Move!
(engine starts)
(tires squealing)
( dramatic theme playing)
Witness says he was
trying to help someone
he thought was blind.
Didn't know he was
one of the robbers.
Guy shot him point-blank.
Never even had a
chance to defend himself.
We got the entire Dallas-Fort
Worth area on alert,
checking every street
for the getaway car.
So far, nothin'.
Walker.
I'm sorry. I don't
mean to be insensitive
at a time like this, but I
need to talk to you about
something very urgent.
Alex, I've got a lot
on my mind right now.
Will you just hear me out?
I'm sure you know
we've had a circus
in town all week.
Yes, I know.
Well, a young
performer... A trapeze artist.
Was raped and beaten
by three local men.
They were arrested,
but they're already out on bail.
Since then, they have
threatened the girl,
and the only witnesses
who saw it happen:
two other people
from the circus.
All three of them are
absolutely terrified.
Why are you telling me this?
Because they're planning
to leave town tomorrow
when the circus goes.
That's what they've
been told to do
by those three animals.
Which means, I have no case,
and those rapists go scot-free.
(sighs)
You still haven't
answered my question.
Why are you telling me this?
Well, I thought if
the circus people
had a place to stay
where they would feel safe...
If you're gonna say what I think
you're gonna say, forget it.
Walker.
I need your help.
She needs your help.
Her name is Lisa Edwards.
She's only 16 years old.
This is what she looked like
after those men
got through with her.
This poor little
girl is destroyed.
If we don't help her,
this case is gonna
slip through the seams
of the criminal justice system,
and that would be a tragedy.
Okay, um...
Take 'em to my ranch.
I'll call Uncle Ray,
and he'll take care
of 'em until I get there.
Walker, there is a
special place in heaven
for people like you.
Yeah, and I can't
wait to get there.
(sighs)
( tranquil theme playing)
MAN: You were told to be
in and out in three minutes.
A hundred and eighty seconds.
No matter what.
And instead, you fouled up.
You know what you
sound like, buddy?
A damn drill sergeant.
But I'm not in the Army anymore,
and nobody chews me
out for doing a good job.
Hey, look. Just give us our cut.
We'll be on our way.
It's like you never met us.
Doesn't work that way.
I warned you both
from the outset
that you were on a
split-second time schedule.
But you got greedy.
And besides that blunder,
we now have a dead
Ranger on our hands,
which will make
things difficult.
Oh, man, this is getting
too spooky for me.
Trial runs, time
limits, and for what?
What's this big-time
caper you're gonna pull?
So far, all I've seen is
nickel-and-dime stuff.
Oh, it's big-time.
Be assured of that.
And it's going
down in five days.
But you two... don't qualify.
(blows landing)
Get rid of 'em.
Don't waste any time.
(crows cawing)
Why is it so hard to find
good help these days?
(sighs)
( suspenseful theme playing)
Here they come.
MAN: I almost forgot
how pretty she was.
The DA's not so
bad-looking, either.
What's the matter with you guys?
Just chalk it up to hormones.
(car engine starts)
( ominous theme playing)
(birds chirping)
(dog barking, horse whinnying)
(soft country music
playing on radio)
(dishes and cutlery clattering)
MAN: There's
really nothing to it.
Just practice, practice,
practice and practice.
You know, to tell you the
truth, when I was a little boy,
I wanted to be a trapeze artist,
a sword swallower.
Never had the courage.
It doesn't always take courage,
and you learn real fast.
North Africa, 1943.
I swallowed a German
bayonet right here.
Swallowed? Huh.
Missed my heart by
less than half an inch.
(door opens)
Is Uncle Ray
telling war stories?
RAY: We almost started
dinner without you.
WALKER: Cordell Walker.
Misha. Misha Bogadar.
And this is my
lovely wife, Yelena.
Besides being a perfect cook,
she tells perfect fortunes.
I don't know what
you're cooking, ma'am,
but it sure smells good.
It's a chicken étouffée.
A recipe I picked
up while the circus
was in New Orleans.
This is Lisa
Edwards, Mr. Walker.
She's like a daughter to us.
Hi, Lisa.
Uh, I was getting
a lesson in juggling.
Figured I might wanna
run off with the circus.
(laughs) Something I've been
wanting to do since
I was 6 years old.
You better watch him, folks.
You may find him in the back
of one of your
trucks. (chuckles)
I wouldn't mind.
( ominous theme playing)
MAN: We should've hit 'em
before that Ranger showed up.
When it was just that
Russki and that old Injun.
How long we gonna
sit here waitin'?
Can't do nothing with them
other two in the house anyway.
MAN 2: Stop your yammering.
I knew I should've
lit out on my own.
I don't know why I
even bother with you.
(engine starts)
(horse whinnies)
Well,
that was the best meal
I've had in a long time.
(chuckles)
The whole secret is in the roux.
And all that is is flour
and oil mixed together
and heated in equal proportions.
MISHA: Heh, heh. She
makes it sound so easy.
It isn't. (Ray laughs)
I have to do all the
cooking out here.
My nephew, he
can't even boil water.
(others laugh)
( melancholy theme playing)
YELENA: She keeps
going off like that. Alone.
We try, but she won't
ever talk about it.
All we can do is
support her with our love.
She hasn't even cried yet.
It was an excellent
meal, Yelena. Thank you.
(horse whinnying)
(door opens) (horse whinnies)
(horse whinnies)
That's my horse over
there, making all the noise.
Her name is Cookie.
She's upset with
me because I haven't
ridden her in a while.
(Cookie whinnies)
I want you to know,
Lisa, that you're safe here.
( melancholy theme playing)
My dad grew up on a
reservation not too far from here.
He was full-blooded Cherokee.
He used to ride
bulls in the local rodeo
to earn extra money.
In fact, that's where
he met my mom.
He was climbing
in a chute one day
to ride this old bull, and...
he looked up into the stands
and saw this pretty
white girl smiling at him.
They met and fell in love
and got married soon after.
I remember when I
was about 12 years old,
a carnival came to this town
where we were
living in at the time.
I'd never been to
a carnival before,
and I wanted to
go in the worst way.
It was the first time I'd
ever seen a Ferris wheel
or eaten cotton candy.
I must have rode
that Ferris wheel
at least six times.
It was a terrific evening,
watching my mom and dad laugh.
There wasn't much to
laugh about in those days.
We were walking back to the car.
I remember we had
an old Model T Ford.
And the cars were all
parked out in this dirt field.
My dad had one arm around my mom
and was holding my
hand with the other.
As we approached the car,
these three, uh,
guys walked up to us.
They were big guys.
Filthy clothes and
smelled of alcohol.
They started saying these
crude things to my mom.
Like how could she be
with a dirty, rotten Indian
and bring a half-breed
into this world?
My dad was a... Was
a very proud man,
and he confronted these guys.
And a fight started.
They must have
figured three-on-one
would be no contest.
But they didn't know my dad.
My dad was whupping
up on 'em pretty good.
Then I saw a knife appear
in one of the guys' hand.
And I saw him stab
my dad right in the back.
And he stabbed, and he stabbed.
Like my dad's back
was a sack of grain
that he was trying to open.
My mom screamed and ran in there
to try to stop him.
He spun around on my mom, and...
I saw this shocked
look on her face, and...
And I saw blood all over
the front of her dress.
She looked down
at her stomach...
and slowly fell to the
ground, next to my dad.
Did they hurt you too?
They hurt me real bad.
What happened to
your mom and dad?
My dad died where he fell.
My mom died two
days later at the hospital.
How could you ever get
over something like that?
You don't get over
it completely, Lisa.
But time has a way of
helping make things better.
And with the love of friends
like Misha and Yelena,
they will get better.
I promise.
(sobbing): Why'd
they do that to me?
Why did they have
to hurt me like that?
Lisa, don't let your
life be destroyed
by something that you
could not possibly prevent.
(sobs)
( melancholy theme playing)
WALKER: Okay, C.D.
Why are you so interested
in me meeting this new Ranger?
You know, Cordell,
you're gonna love
Mobley's replacement.
His name's Trivette.
Jimmy Trivette.
I just know you're
gonna love him.
I doubt it.
No, he's a good
man. He really is.
Grew up in Baltimore,
wrong side of the tracks.
But he got himself
a football scholarship
to Penn State.
You sure know a
lot about this guy.
Wide receiver.
Cowboys drafted him,
comes down here and...
the last game of
his rookie season,
he just tore his
shoulder all to hell.
Course, as we know, no...
No team in the league's
gonna touch him after that.
Figured his life was about over.
Went through some
really bad times.
But getting on
the highway patrol
is what saved him.
Then he worked
Narcotics for a while.
I mean, the guy's really,
really on the cutting edge.
(laughing)
You know what
he did just for fun?
He wrote a proposal to modernize
the entire Department
of Public Safety.
(laughing)
Well, I'll tell you what, C.D.
The next time I'm in
a gunfight, I'll read it.
Well, Cordell, don't
feel threatened.
Nobody expects you
to come smiling
into the 21st Century.
Hey, Jimmy.
Trivette!
Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy.
Looks can be
deceiving, you know.
Not those looks.
How you doing, Jimmy? All right.
Jimmy Trivette, Cordell Walker.
You guys are gonna
be working together.
Yeah. Good to meet you, Walker.
Heard an awful lot about you.
Some of it good,
some of it... But...
guess the best thing to do
is keep an open mind, huh?
(chuckles)
How's the water?
It's terrific. It's fantastic.
Perfect temperature.
Not too much chlorine, you know.
Time out, okay? I
gotta grab my napalm.
Yeah.
Just give him a chance, Cordell.
My training drink.
Getting ready for a triathlon.
Got carrot juice
mixed with parsley,
cucumber, spinach and apple.
It's delicious.
Jimmy here's one
of them juicetarians.
He practically
lives on that stuff.
Hey, want a hit?
No, thanks. I'm
trying to cut back.
Well, look here.
Got that meeting to get to.
Hey, I'm not officially
checked in yet,
but Captain Price
had me take a look
at the report on
that bank robbery.
So I took the liberty
of running it through
some computer reports
of similar robberies.
Non-specific.
Just from the same
neighborhood, methodology.
Came up with exactly three.
A jeweler's, a dry cleaner's
and a check-cashing store.
And the robbers all wore wigs,
just like at the bank.
How'd you know?
I checked too.
Without computers.
Did you get a
chance to take a peek
at the inventory of
what was stolen?
Some money, clothes.
Yeah. That's all they knew
when they filed the
initial crime report.
See, I doubled back with
the insurance company
and ran it through
their claims computers.
They stole clothes from
the dry cleaner's, yeah.
Twelve paramedics' uniforms.
Interesting, isn't it?
( pensive theme playing)
I'm gonna love him?
( ominous theme playing)
MAN: Tell me what you
know of explosives, Mr. Cobalt.
C4 in particular.
I know all I need to know.
That is not an answer.
Be specific.
Well, which part, the
buying or the selling?
I can supply the material.
I require a craftsman.
Well, hell, that's
the easy part.
I made bombs as
small as a music box
or big as a suitcase.
Any size, shape,
force or magnitude,
I'm your man.
References?
(chuckles)
Well...
You know, these guys don't
exactly want their names
on a résumé, now, do they?
(crunching)
Well, I did do a little job
for the Libyans a while back.
Big job, actually. Primo bucks.
They gave me half a million
just to set up the... You
are a liar, Mr. Cobalt.
Hey, now wait a...
Two kinds of operatives
work for the Libyans:
the silent and the
recently deceased.
Now, I know you
are not the former.
Would you care to be the latter?
Okay, okay. All right.
Just trying to make it sound
a little better, that's all.
But the fact is, I am qualified.
I can do any job
you got, I swear.
Remove him.
And on the way out, explain
why one should never lie
to a potential employer.
Consider yourself lucky
you're leaving this
room alive, Mr. Cobalt.
(grunting)
Find me someone else.
Tonight.
Captain.
How'd your meeting
go with the new guy?
He'll do fine. Anything
new on the robbery?
We managed to ID
the robber Mobley killed.
Pete Sims out of Miami.
Any priors? Tons of 'em.
All for bank heists.
Used C4 to blow the safes.
Wait a minute, captain.
The team that hit the
jewelry store used C4.
Where you going?
Check out a hunch.
Come on, Trivit.
Trivette.
Here.
Hold this till I get back.
( slow rock theme playing)
I'll do the talking.
You just hang loose.
Hey, Walker.
Long time no see.
What's it been, June? July?
Yeah, about that.
Listen, I got a new
shipment of SIGs in here.
You need to buy
yourself one of these.
That's the best
doggone handgun made.
I've got one, Lamar.
What I need is some information.
You know me, Walker.
I'll help you if I can.
Where would a guy
go to get some C4?
Now, I don't know if I
can help you with that.
That stuff's illegal.
WALKER: So is upgrading
semiautomatics to automatics, Lamar.
LAMAR: Why are
you doing this to me?
The kind of
information you're askin'
can get a man hurt permanent.
It'll be just between
you and me.
Okay.
There's one guy I know about.
He says he can get rocket
launchers, bazookas, C4,
anything you need.
Goes by the name of Cobalt.
( ominous theme playing)
WALKER: Cobalt.
That's it?
He's a shooter.
Lives down at the gun range.
And, listen, you find
this guy, you be careful.
He's a real tripwire.
(gunshots)
(gunshots)
WALKER: Texas Ranger, Cobalt.
Lay the weapon down.
( tense theme playing)
Never thought the DMV
would send a Ranger down here
just to collect on a
few parking tickets.
( suspenseful theme playing)
(Cobalt screams)
(Trivette speaking indistinctly)
Oh, come on!
(door opens)
How come you're
pumping so hard, Trivit?
I thought you were
supposed to be in great shape.
Well, you drove and I ran,
so next time, I'll
drive and you run.
I don't think so.
Question:
Why is Cobalt so scared of you?
Because I'm a scary kind of guy.
I busted him once.
I hope he's still laughing
when you question him.
WALKER: Cobalt,
stop playing games.
We found enough
guns in your place
to start a small revolution.
Big deal. Run a trace.
I got it all legal.
(chuckles)
Anyway, so what
if you are right,
and some wacko did come to
me asking to buy C4? So what?
Doesn't prove nothing, does it?
That wacko may have
killed a friend of mine.
So you better take this serious.
Real serious.
I'm gonna give you five minutes.
MAN: You pick up that warrant?
MAN 2: Right.
MAN: No, that's fine.
MAN: No problem at all.
Yeah. Well, I would suggest...
Why do you have
all those glasses?
Spares. I keep breaking them
every time I get into a fight.
Must happen a lot.
Hey, bad temper, man.
Sometimes I can't help
myself. I turn into an animal.
So how's it going with Cobalt?
It's going.
Yeah.
You think you can do better?
Heh, what took
you so long to ask?
( playful theme playing)
Time's up, Cobalt.
No, no, no. Get him out of
here, now. Come on, come on.
Nice to see you again, Cobalt.
Aren't you gonna
congratulate me?
Take a look at the badge.
You guys made him
a Ranger? You're nuts.
You know what
this guy did to me?
Like I should care, right?
But just get ready to spend all
the state's money on lawsuits.
I'm out of here.
No, no, no, man.
Me alone with him? I don't
think so. I don't think so.
What's the statute of
limitations on civil suits?
I think I might have
to sue this guy.
Assuming they can
find the corpus delicti.
We can make this easy,
or we can make it hard.
The choice is yours,
Cobalt. Sit down.
(sighs)
Ever seen one of these before?
Genuine souvenir Texas horsefly.
Gifts shops are full of them.
Makes them practically
impossible to trace.
I doctored it up, put
in a little C4, a timer.
How much bang has it got?
Well, we'll know in, uh...
In exactly nine seconds.
No!
(grunts)
( ominous theme playing)
Well done, Mr. Boggs.
Welcome to the team.
COBALT: So I'm standing
there in this, uh, magazine place,
just kind of joy-cruising.
TRIVETTE: Doing what?
Paging through centerfolds.
And I happen to pick
up this certain publication
that caters to, uh,
mercenaries and war freaks.
And my eye happens to see
this ad that promises rich reward
for men who are
not afraid of danger.
And, of course, you
just couldn't resist.
So I called it.
And about five minutes
later, this guy calls me back.
I tell him my qualifications,
and he says to meet him
at the post office
on Clemson Street.
I figure, it's Saturday he's...
What are you...? What...?
Just stick to the facts, Cobalt.
Just tell us what happened.
You're not gonna do anything
crazy to me again, are you?
Let me tell you something.
Torture is illegal. Hm?
Did you know that?
Hm?
Okay, these two big
guys, they blindfold me,
and they put me in
back of a gray van.
I saw that before they, uh,
put the blindfold on, you know.
Did you notice the
license number?
Yeah. I notice everything.
B0A024.
Of course, you'd better
write it down, huh?
I-it was obviously stolen,
because three minutes
later, they switched cars.
And from the
sound of that engine,
I figure it was a
late-model domestic...
It's a waste of time.
You're wasting my
time with speculation.
I told you stick to the facts!
Hey, just stop it,
man! Just stop it.
'Cause I'm freaked out
enough as it is already,
with that damn lunatic
sticking that light in my eye.
And I'm a hostage. I don't know
if I'm gonna get out of there alive,
especially when
he says I'm lying.
And he's right, I am lying,
but why should that be
reason not to harm me?
And how's he know I'm lying,
unless he knows who did do
that book bomb for the Libyans?
If he knows that,
he's CIA, baby.
Get it? Big-time, huh?
S... So just don't pressure
me. I'll tell you, okay?
I'll just tell it my own way.
(sighs)
( ominous theme playing)
So where'd he take you?
Some sleazebag motel.
Puke-green carpets
and, like, uh, some red
hibiscus things on the bedspread.
(chuckles)
I never saw his face,
if that's what you're
wondering, okay?
I told you he had these
big photographer's lights
that shined right in my eyes.
I was blinded almost
the whole time.
To tell you the truth, I
didn't see a damn thing.
Okay. He... He... He... He
had black cowboy boots,
and he was eating
pistachio nuts.
That's all. That's all.
Let's go buy some
mercenary magazines.
Why?
You're going undercover.
Why me?
You said you're an animal.
( upbeat country theme playing)
This is it.
Here.
You're right.
That's gotta be the ad
Cobalt was talking about.
The number is probably a pager.
Let's call it and find out.
MAN: Oh, really?
I've got a beep.
Here it goes.
When they call
back, you can answer.
Cordell, this could
be a bad time, but...?
It is a bad time right now, C.D.
Well, I... I just want you to
meet some people, that's all.
Well, actually, they're kids.
Just over here.
(rings)
It's all yours.
Here. TRIVETTE: Yeah, hello?
Juanita, Jason, Kenny,
say hello to the most
famous Texas Ranger
alive or dead.
WALKER: Hi, kids.
Well, he's
exaggerating a little bit.
Especially about the
dead part. (chuckles)
You guys scoot on down
to that there table over there.
Get anything want.
Compliments of Ranger Walker.
(chattering)
Well, I'll tell you
what, Cordell...
if that don't break you heart.
You know that every
one of them little folks
is from a homeless family?
You're doing it
to me again, C.D.
I can see it.
Doing what?
Is eight seconds of
your time too much to ask
to help build a shelter
for little kids like that?
Eight seconds?
Eight seconds or less.
It just depends on how
long you can stay on that bull.
What bull?
The bull that I told them
that you was gonna ride
for the charity rodeo
over at Billy Bob's.
Look, I-I-I even told them
that you were state champ.
Oh, for crying out loud,
C.D., that was five years ago,
and I wound up in the hospital.
It... It's like
riding a bicycle.
One... Once you
learn, you don't forget.
Hey, kids, he's gonna do it,
and he thanks you
for letting him help.
ALL: Yay, Walker!
You're gonna be the
death of me yet, C.D.
Walker, I got it.
They're gonna meet me at
the corner of Griffin and Corbin.
They're gonna pick me up there
and take me someplace
for an interview.
You have any
close friends, Trivit?
Trivette. Yes, I do.
Shoot 'em while you still can.
( suspenseful theme playing)
Trivit, can I ask
you a question?
Your dime.
About Cobalt, are
you ever gonna tell me
why he's so scared of you?
(chuckling)
Yeah, I'll tell you.
That time when I busted him,
it didn't hold up in court,
so they sent him home.
They released him.
And I guess that night,
while he was asleep,
a whole bunch of snakes
got into his apartment.
Slimy little buggers
were crawling
all over the place,
and, somehow, all the
electricity got shut off,
and all the doors got locked,
and for some
reason, he blames me.
Can you believe that?
Did you do it?
Come on, Walker. You know me.
Not yet, but I'm learning.
(chuckles)
Say, roll it down.
You can't park here.
It's a restricted area.
That's the car.
I don't like the way this looks.
Let's get the hell outta here.
( fast, tense theme playing)
(engine starts)
Hey!
(engine starts)
(horn honking)
(horns honking)
(gunshots)
(car alarm blaring)
Go, go, go!
(siren wailing)
(gunshots)
(horn honking)
(tires screech)
(horn honking)
( suspenseful theme playing)
(gunshots)
(gunshots)
(panting): At least I
got the license number.
Probably stolen.
Yeah, probably.
It's the only good
lead we had too.
Well, welcome to the
Texas Rangers, Trivit.
Trivette.
Well, it's all in a
day's work... Trivit.
(sighs)
He's never gonna get it right.
( ominous theme playing)
What exactly is your specialty?
Well, let's just say I was
better at killing people
than I was at
international politics.
Trouble with your employer?
INTERVIEWEE: Partner.
It's past tense now.
I'm proud to say
I don't have a
single living enemy.
And who did you work for last?
Orson, you son
of a... Is that you?
(chuckles)
INTERVIEWEE:
Still can't believe it.
Last time I saw you was
just before you went inactive.
What, two years ago?
ORSON: Almost three.
Here I figured you'd be head
of Clandestine Ops by now.
What happened?
Remember that drunk, Peterson,
that had a hand at selling
C-130 parts to Qaddafi?
I thought you fired him.
I did.
But then he started
telling everybody
that I was unloading the parts
myself and keeping the money.
Now, why would he go
and say a thing like that?
I don't know,
but by some strange
coincidence, he disappeared.
Anyway, I got tired of
piggybacking the big stuff,
slicing off little pieces.
It was time to go
for the mother wave
and ride it all the
way to Switzerland.
Now, am I allowed to ask
what you have in mind?
Look around you, J.J.
How many banks do you see?
( pensive theme playing)
Four.
We're gonna do all four?
At the same time.
Damn, Orson.
Nobody ever accused
you of thinking small.
No, they didn't.
WALKER: My gut's telling me
that this is bigger than it looks.
All we've got is there's a new
gang in town pulling robberies.
Right? Except for the bank
job, they're mid-level heists.
Jeweler's and a dry cleaner's.
I mean, we're not
talking Billy the Kid here.
What if all these
jobs are trial runs?
What if this guy's putting
together a crack team
to see how well
they work together,
before he goes
after the big heist?
All right.
You may have a point there.
Okay, when I get
back to the office,
I'll make some calls.
I'll find out what's
coming into town.
What are we talking about here?
Heavy-duty stuff, right?
Brink's deliveries, art
collections, that sort of thing.
Right. Yeah.
(sloshing)
Why do you slosh that
around in your mouth like that?
Activates the digestive juices.
Can I ask you a
personal question?
Let me guess.
You're sitting there wondering
what a guy who
grew up in Baltimore
is doing in the Texas Rangers.
How'd you know?
Because believe
it or not, Walker,
you're obvious.
Well, does that entitle
me to an answer?
Okay.
When I was a kid,
every Saturday
morning, I used to get up
and sneak into the living room
and watch my favorite TV show...
about the most famous
Texas Ranger of all time.
Last surviving member of a
squad ambushed by bandits,
nursed back from death
by an Indian, he became...
Huh, don't tell me.
That's right, man.
The Lone Ranger.
See, you gotta understand
where I come from.
It's concrete and asphalt,
and guys hanging
out on the corner
doing nothing but
getting into trouble.
There's no right.
There's no wrong.
It's just whatever gets
you through the night, man.
You got guys telling
you what you can't do,
what you can't have,
what you can't be.
But now here comes
this guy on a white horse,
and he goes where
he wants to go.
He does what he wants to do.
He's got the guts to say there
is a right, there is a wrong.
And he's out there
under the stars.
There's no tenements.
There's no street signs.
There's no liquor stores
as far as the eye can see,
just total freedom.
Now, can you imagine
what that meant
to a kid growing up
in a place like that?
No, I can't.
Childhood fantasy, right?
And I never thought
anything like that
was gonna happen to me.
But then I ruined my
shoulder playing football,
And I'm not exaggerating
when I tell you
that I could have gotten
into some serious trouble
if it hadn't...
Hadn't been for that
old coot over there.
TRIVETTE: An
honest-to-God Texas Ranger
who became my friend.
C.D.'s the one that got
me into law enforcement.
Helped me get back my pride.
He said if I really wanted it,
and I stuck it out,
that I could end up like the man
who rode the white horse
through my Saturday
mornings in Baltimore.
And here you are.
Here I am.
Wearing a silver star.
And driving Cordell
Walker crazy.
Mm. Too hot.
Mm-hm. Oh, thank you.
Thank you, dear.
(knocking on door)
I'll get it.
Well, hello
there, little darlin'.
(screams)
Go away! Leave us alone.
MAN: I can't believe
you folks is still here.
After you was
politely asked to leave.
Not a wise decision.
So we're gonna give you
a little free transportation
all the way to Oklahoma.
We're even gonna
throw in free meals.
MISHA: Go away, or...
Get 'em!
MAN 2: Jean, get out here!
Can't you idiots handle
a couple of women?
( suspenseful theme playing)
Lisa, would you go
behind my pickup truck
and pull down the
tailgate for me, please?
Yelena, would you
stand over there too?
Ranger, we're leavin'.
You're leaving, all right.
But you're going to jail.
No way.
No more jail. Never!
(cracking)
Aah! Aah!
Ow! Uhh!
I'm goin'!
(screaming)
Oh, my nose!
Ohh! God! You... Let me see.
You broke my nose.
I'll fix it.
(screaming)
Nah. Looks better the other way.
Ranger!
You screwed up.
You forgot to
read us our rights.
You're right.
You have the right...
to remain silent.
(groaning)
(neighing)
Aren't you missin' one?
Not anymore.
COMMENTATOR:
Gotta get off the rope.
He can't withstand
this barrage...
I could have beat either
one of these bozos.
These guys are
pretty good, Orson.
Look, you're just saying that
'cause you never saw me fight.
I have. No, thank you.
I saw him cut two
guys to pieces.
Two guys at the same time.
Orson. My source came through.
Guess who drove
that truck the other day.
A Texas Ranger.
Is that right?
Yeah, and he's a
close friend of the one
that got killed at the bank.
I knew this was gonna
come back to haunt us.
Those people aren't
fun to mess with, Orson.
When I was still
with the company,
I crossed one of them once.
They make their
own rules as they go.
Worse than the FBI.
Yeah. "One riot, one Ranger."
That's what their motto is.
This guy's named Walker.
And from what I can pick up,
he's the worst of the bunch.
Unless you like
challenges like that.
Now, what's that
supposed to mean?
Listen and learn.
Boggs, this is Orson Wade.
I have a special order for you.
You know those Texas
horseflies that you make so well?
Well, I need another one
in a small cardboard box,
and I need it tomorrow morning.
"One riot, one Ranger."
Well, guess what.
I'm changing it...
to one horsefly, one Ranger.
(door opens and closes)
What's on?
I missed Peoples'
Court last night.
Tape of the bank robbery.
That's the guy that
killed Bob Mobley.
A blind man?
No more blind than you and I.
Notice anything unusual, uncle?
Sure. The beard's false.
That man's trying to look old.
Anything else?
Kanock nask.
The spider that
lives on his hand.
It's black.
It could kill.
Washoe.
I had a dream last night.
You were all
alone in a desert...
and it became dark.
Black, like the spider.
It was only noon and
the sun was gone.
Be careful, nephew.
WOMAN: Yes, we have
several customers who are blind.
I generally help them
set up the account,
make out their deposits
and withdrawals.
Have you had any new customers,
say, in the last two weeks?
Only one. A gentleman that
came in about two days ago.
I remember because he
wanted to use the restroom,
and I showed him the way.
Was he about my
size, black beard,
wearing a Stetson hat?
Why, yes, I believe he was.
Do you know him?
Could I take a
look at his account?
Well, normally I'd have
to check with our manager,
but, as I recall,
he didn't actually
open the account.
He just came in,
asked some questions,
used the restroom and left.
Now, may I ask you a question?
Yeah, sure.
Are you married?
Do you know my uncle Ray?
No.
(moans)
Looking for somebody?
Uh, Cordell Walker.
He's out. His desk's
right around the corner.
Thanks a lot.
What's that smile all about?
We did it.
Those three animals
were indicted on all counts,
not to mention breaking
and entering yesterday
and assault with
a deadly weapon.
Great. Mr. Walker?
I'm never gonna
be able to thank you.
Ever.
The way you're feeling is
thanks enough for me, Lisa.
( lilting country theme playing)
And I'm never gonna
forget what you told me.
That's our secret, okay?
Okay.
So, what now?
She's going back to the
circus with Yelena and Misha.
They're meeting it in Waco.
In fact, if we don't hustle,
you're gonna miss your bus.
(chuckles)
If you don't mind,
I'll take one of those too.
I could get used to that.
Terrific. All I need
is a crazy cowboy.
Hi, Mildred.
Walker, you had a
package come for you
while you were out.
Who was it from?
How should I know, Walker?
I'm not as nosy as the
man sitting at your desk.
Make yourself comfortable.
Already did, thank you.
Where'd this come from?
That box. I already
opened it for you.
Figured it might be
something perishable.
You figured it was
something to eat.
You know what your problem is?
You're still mad at me
for hoodwinking you into
riding in that charity rodeo.
Well, guess what. I
hooked Jimmy into it too.
Trivette? Yeah.
Signed him up as a clown.
Good choice.
Ain't you gonna ask
me what I'm reading?
No name, no card.
Nothing.
This here is The Abridged
Sigmund Freud Portable Reader.
Book takes a lot
of concentration.
That's why I come over
here. I needed some quiet.
I figured since I was
doing that advice column,
I might as well bone
up on a little psychology.
Boy, I tell you, I
don't know what...
What was going on between
this guy and his mother,
but, buddy... he
was one weird dude.
Isn't this strange, C.D.?
An ashtray.
Everybody knows I don't smoke.
(phone ringing)
Walker.
Sorry. Wrong number.
(beeps)
He's there.
( suspenseful theme playing)
Get down!
(alarms sounding)
Is this quiet
enough for ya, C.D.?
I'm trying to follow your
reasoning on this, Walker,
but sometimes you
leave me in the dust.
Why would anyone be crazy
enough to bomb a Ranger office,
unless they were getting
ready to make their move?
And exactly what kind of
move are you talking about?
It's all in the information
Trivit put together.
There's an armored
car delivery...
To four Fort Worth banks,
and he's intrigued...
No, he's fixated.
By that fact that
they're all located
in a four-block radius, captain.
That's why the blind
man cased them.
He thinks they're
not gonna do one.
They're gonna do all four.
This isn't the Normandy
Invasion, Walker.
It'd take an army to knock
over four banks at one time.
No, two teams leapfrogging it.
Well, I say it's impossible.
If you look at that printout,
you'll find that the biggest
single delivery tomorrow
is to Southern Star across town.
That's their target.
I don't agree.
You don't have to, Walker.
The fact that they've started
blowing up state property
does not sit well
with the governor.
She suffers from the
old-fashioned belief
that we're responsible for
maintaining law and order.
Even as we speak,
she's heating hot coals
to pour over this
entire department.
Look, all I'm
saying is that maybe
you're too close to
this one to be objective.
With what happened to Mobley,
it's understandable you'd
take this kind of personal.
You're right
about that, captain.
I do take it personal.
( slow, ominous theme playing)
Can you tell me why
I shouldn't kill
all three of you
right here where
you're standing?
Especially you, J.J.
You're supposed
to have experience...
and brains.
Why wasn't Walker killed?
I don't know.
There was enough
C-4 in that ashtray
to kill him 20 times.
Hey, look, maybe it'll
work to our advantage.
Confuse 'em somehow.
Your reasons stink,
along with your reasoning.
But I'm in a time bind
and I'm running outta options.
What are you
standing around for?
Get your teams together!
Start setting up! Come on!
(door closes)
(upbeat country music playing)
(people laughing, chattering)
TRIVETTE: All right, granted,
your theory's got
some logic to it.
But four banks?
I just can't buy it.
(clinking) Good.
Good?
Why does that
make me suspicious?
Because you're
gonna cover the bank
on the other side of town.
That way, if I am wrong,
you can bring in the troops.
(clinking continues)
C.D., why are you fidgeting?
Oh, I'm trying to remember
where my gas mask is.
Gas mask? Yeah, gas mask.
Oh, yeah. They're gonna
be using tear-gas tomorrow.
You can count on it.
C.D., forget it.
Tomorrow morning, you're
gonna be sitting right over there,
typing your lovelorn column.
For your information,
that is already
completed for this week.
And there ain't no law
against a civilian bystander.
C.D., you're my mentor.
You're my guiding light.
You cannot sit there and tell me
that you agree with
Walker's thinking.
Well, I ain't saying that
Cordell can't be crazy,
but he ain't never been stupid.
ORSON: These are banks one, two,
three and four.
Here's the one across town.
The Southern Star.
Boggs...
you're gonna do
your thing at 10:05.
Colley, James, you're
gonna be in position at 10:08.
Now, team one enters
their first target at 10:09.
Team two enters their
first target at 10:09.
And that has gotta
be exact, gentlemen.
Not one second early or late.
That goes for you too, J.J.
I want you to move that
truck on my schedule.
Because we are
gonna give Fort Worth
the biggest surprise
that they have ever had.
(melancholy country
music playing)
Hey, partner.
Why don't you go up to the house
and get yourself some sleep?
C.D., I just can't help thinking
we're reading
this guy all wrong.
Well, Cordell, it's clear to
me what's gonna happen.
You're gonna ask the
banks to close and they won't.
Not based on a hunch.
Captain Price is gonna
object for the same reasons.
And you probably won't
get the nine men you need.
So come tomorrow,
one of two things
are gonna happen.
You'll either muddle
through it or you won't.
Either way, it ain't gonna
change the course of history.
Are you listening to me?
You know, C.D...
when you're right, you're right.
(bird screeching)
Morning, Mobley.
My friend... go with
the spirit of the owl.
He will see all things for you.
Go with the spirit of the hawk.
He will protect you
on your final journey.
Go with the spirit of the eagle.
He will soar you to your father.
Your father awaits you.
Payback time.
( determined synthesizer
theme playing)
I'm gonna put you
behind this desk.
Uh, is he under orders to shoot?
No, just to protect your
customers and personnel.
Okay, stay alert.
Park it over there.
Hey, Walker, you got any
activity on your side of town?
Nothing. But the banks
will be at maximum cash flow
between 10 and 11.
Yeah, well, if you're right,
we don't have long to wait.
Explain something to me, Trivit.
As long as it only requires
basic English, Cordell.
How'd you play professional
football wearing eyeglasses?
You ever hear of contact lenses?
That's the question.
Why aren't you using them now?
Because women say glasses
enhance the shape of my face.
Any other questions?
Not today.
Yeah.
Sign here, please.
Thanks.
That's gross. Who
sent you that thing?
I don't know.
There isn't any note.
(tires screeching)
Howdy.
C.D., what the heck
are you doing here?
Mobley was my
friend, too, Cordell.
Besides, that's
my bank over there.
You can't stop me
from making a deposit.
C.D.!
( suspenseful theme continues)
Damn!
Is everybody in position?
MAN: Affirmative.
Stand by. We're counting down.
Margaret, cover for me.
I'm going across the
street for a minute.
It's going down. It's
here, like I told ya.
I need every unit at the
Southern Star Bank, now!
(alarm ringing)
(Rangers yelling)
(alarm wailing)
(multiple sirens wailing)
( slow flute theme playing)
UNCLE RAY: I had
a dream last night.
You were all alone in a desert.
It became dark.
Black, like the spider.
It was only noon and
the sun was gone.
Be careful, nephew.
(tires screeching,
sirens blaring)
Come on, let's go!
Move it! Move it! Move it!
Come on! Go! Go! Go!
(horn honks)
(pedestrians yelling, screaming)
(gunfire stops)
Aah!
Cordell!
Aah!
MAN: All right, stay
down. Stay down.
C.D., you'll be the
death of me yet.
I don't see you bleedin'.
I didn't get that shavin'.
Is it bad?
No, no.
Here. Put this around it.
(alarm ringing)
Take some deep breaths.
(sirens approaching)
(guns cocking)
It's a bomb! It's a diversion!
Get back to Walker!
Lamar and 7th!
Everybody move! Tom,
come on, let me take that car!
(sirens starting)
( suspenseful
synthesizer theme playing)
MAN: Nobody move,
nobody gets hurt.
MAN 2: Stay on the ground
and keep your mouth shut.
Nobody moves!
(woman and men screaming)
Cops!
Do it now.
( suspenseful synthesizer
theme continues)
MAN 3: All right,
everybody out now! Quickly!
Let's go! Come on!
Hurry! Hurry! Come on!
(slams)
( suspenseful synthesizer
theme continues)
(tires screeching)
MAN: Move!
MAN 2: Let's get outta here!
C.D.: Hold it! Hold it!
Get on the ground
right now. Do it!
Who the hell are you, anyway?
C.D. Parker. Texas Ranger.
Retired.
Well, semi-retired.
(sirens approaching)
Halt! Texas Ranger!
You're under arrest!
(shotgun blast)
Drop your guns! Get down!
Freeze! Get on the ground! Now!
COP: Drop your weapons!
Yaah!
(grunting)
( soft flute theme playing)
UNCLE RAY: Kanock nask.
The spider that
lives on his hand.
It's black.
It could kill.
Texas Ranger.
Here. Take this.
Ohh! Damn!
And I liked this pair.
Dog... That was great work, son.
I wish Cordell could
have seen that.
Why disillusion him?
( suspenseful theme continuing)
(grunts)
So you're Walker, huh?
Good guess.
They tell me you're the best.
Oh, yeah?
What do you think?
Having fun yet?
(cracking)
This is for Mobley.
( triumphant guitar
theme playing)
(crowd cheering)
(bells clanging)
(buzzer buzzes)
ANNOUNCER: Let's hear it
for our rodeo volunteer clowns!
What a great job they do.
( announcer
speaking indistinctly)
James, is that you?
Ain't Bozo, counselor.
Do you know anything
about this clown stuff, Trivit?
I don't understand
what the big deal is.
All you gotta do
is a little dance,
then jump in that barrel
and watch the carnage.
Nice show.
(grunting)
Tom Jenkins on Bumper Pleasure.
(crowd cheering)
(buzzer buzzes)
This is definitely not
a recreational sport.
Let's hear it once again
for our voluntary clown.
Now, this bull here...
Hell, he'll kick hard,
and he'll kick high.
He belly-rolls, and
he's got a lot of drop.
(upbeat music
playing, crowd cheering)
(buzzer buzzes)
That one looks horrible.
(grunts)
He's a bad one, all right.
He's called the Terminator.
The thing with him is you
don't know what he's gonna do.
He's a very unpredictable bull.
And when you go off of him,
you gotta be really careful
because he'll put a
horn right through ya.
Okay, good people,
here's what you
been waiting for.
Riding for the
Children's Relief Fund,
our own Cordell Walker!
BOY: Yeah, Walker!
Listen to them.
You're a celebrity.
Hey, Cordell, you
better do good out there.
You got your whole
fan club watching you.
Okay, folks, if you
got a weak heart,
you better go on home.
'Cause the next man out
of the chute: Cordell Walker,
riding 2000 pounds
of death and destruction,
the ever-fearsome Terminator!
I should have known.
Hey, you don't have
to blow a gasket.
How do you think we
got all these people,
made all that money?
If I live through this, C.D.,
you're a dead man.
(chuckles)
WOMAN: Let's go, all right!
Well, folks, this is the
highlight of the evening,
the event you've
all been waiting for:
Cordell Walker riding
the Terminator for you.
That's right, for the
Children's Relief Fund.
(groans)
( announcer
continues indistinctly)
( stirring theme playing)
Loosen it up.
Okay, tighten it.
Okay.
(grunts)
Okay, boys.
(bull grunts and crowd cheers)
(buzzer)
You didn't stay on very long.
I only needed eight seconds.
ANNOUNCER: I don't
know, folks. That bull...
Hey, does that mean
he's gonna charge?
Shut up and run, Trivette.
Hey, you got my name right!
( upbeat theme playing)