WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 6 - Who's on First? - full transcript

NO. NO.

NOT ONE BITE TILL
I SEE MR. CARLSON.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL
HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T EAT?

- WHAT?
- YOU'LL DIE.

BIG GUY.

SEE? ALL THIS FUSS.
NOW, WASN'T IT NICE

OF MR. CARLSON TO GO WAY
OUT OF HIS WAY THIS MORNING?

NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
TONIGHT WAS MY NIGHT TO VISIT.

I'M JUST GETTING IT
OUT OF THE WAY EARLY.

I EXPECT TO SEE I CLEAN PLATE.

(mouthing words)



GEE, HERB, YOU LOOK GREAT.

THEY HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING
WRONG WITH YOUR HEART, HAVE THEY?

- NOPE.
- OH, THAT'S SUPER.

THAT MEANS YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT OF
HERE AND ON YOUR VACATION IN NO TIME, HUH?

UH-HUH. SEE? YOU
WANT ME OUT OF TOWN.

HUH?

EXPLAIN THIS.

"ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE.
TOP-TEN A.M. STATION.

A FALTERING CLIENT LIST..."

KIND OF SOUNDS
LIKE US, DOESN'T IT?

CALL THE GENERAL
MANAGER, 555-957...

THAT IS US. OH, MY
GOSH. THIS IS A MISTAKE.

EVERY OUT-OF-WORK
SALESMAN HAS SEEN THIS.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S
SUPPOSED TO READ THAT WAY.



YEAH, YOU KNOW, YOU
JUST MENTION "TICKER,"

AND EVERYONE
THINKS YOU'RE A GONER.

OH, HERB, NOW, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

LOOK, I PROMISE YOU,
YOUR JOB WILL BE THERE

AS LONG AS YOU WANT IT.

- YOU SURE?
- I SWEAR.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING.

WE WILL CALL YOU.

ALL RIGHT. NEXT, JENNIFER?

THAT WOULD BE YOU, MR. LISKE.

WISH ME LUCK, DOLL
FACE. I NEED THIS JOB.

(mouthing words)

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪

- JOHNNY!
- YEAH?

JOHNNY, JOHNNY,
JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY.

I'LL GIVE YOU $20 TO
GET RID OF THESE GUYS.

- TWENTY DOLLARS...
- ALL RIGHT, 30.

IT'S INTERESTING YOU SHOULD
MENTION MONEY, JENNIFER.

WHAT'S IT WORTH TO YOU?

$562.16.

I GOT INTO A FRIENDLY
LITTLE POKER GAME...

SILLY ME. IF I HAD
LENT YOU MONEY,

I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE
TO RESPECT YOU AGAIN.

- I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
- I COULDN'T.

WELL, LET'S EXAMINE
THIS WORD "RESPECT."

JENNIFER, WHERE'S TRAVIS?

OH, HE'S IN YOUR OFFICE
INTERVIEWING ONE OF THE APPLICANTS.

- FINE.
- UH, A.C., SWEETHEART?

UH, LISTEN. SINCE YOU
GAVE ME THAT RAISE,

I'M NOW MAKING MORE MONEY
THAN I'VE EVER MADE BEFORE,

PROBABLY MORE THAN I DESERVE,
AND I WAS WONDERING, IN VIEW OF THAT,

IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE AT
ALL THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET

AN ADVANCE ON MY
SALARY OF, SAY, $562.16.

NONE.

AND DON'T LEAN
ON MY DOOR, FEVER.

AH, MR. CARLSON. THIS,
SIR, IS HOWARD LISKE.

HE HAS QUITE A SALES
BACKGROUND HERE.

I WAS BORN ON COMMISSION.

FINE.

- WE WON'T BE
NEEDING YOU, MR. LISKE.
- I WAS KIDDING.

THANKS FOR ANSWERING THE
AD. WE'VE CHANGED OUR MINDS.

- IS HE KIDDING?
- I'M SORRY, MR. LISKE.

- YOU ARE KIDDING.
- WE'LL KEEP YOU IN MIND
IF WE CHANGE OUR MINDS AGAIN.

WHO'S KIDDING WHO?

- WELL, THAT WAS TACTFUL.
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT, ANDY.

I'M SORRY I AGREED TO THE
AD. WE CAN COVER FOR HERB.

NEED I REMIND YOU THIS
WAS YOUR IDEA TO BEGIN WITH?

- I BELIEVE YOU SAID
WE HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN.
- I WAS WRONG.

I FIND MYSELF IN THE VERY
UNUSUAL POSITION OF TELLING YOU

THAT YOU WERE NOT
WRONG ABOUT THIS, SIR.

NO OFFENSE.

EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU READY
FOR THE NEXT GENTLEMAN?

- NO.
- YES.

FINE. I'LL JUST WAIT IN
HERE UNTIL YOU DECIDE.

CHEAP COLOGNE MAKES ME NAUSEOUS.

- MR. CARLSON, WE NEED SOMEONE.
- HOGWASH.

NOW, THIS MORNING, FOR
EXAMPLE, A CONCERT PROMOTER

IS FLYING IN FROM
PHILADELPHIA TO TALK WITH HERB.

NOW, SOMEONE HAS TO FILL IN
FOR HIM AND CLOSE THIS DEAL.

THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH
THAT I CAN DO AROUND HERE.

THAT AD OF YOURS MADE IT SOUND LIKE WE
WERE LOOKING FOR A PERMANENT REPLACEMENT.

WE'RE NOT GONNA FIND ANYBODY
GOOD ON A TEMPORARY BASIS.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIRING, AS WE
TALKED ABOUT, A JUNIOR SALESMAN?

I HAD TO GO TO THE
HOSPITAL THIS MORNING.

HERB CALLED ME. HE SAW THAT AD.

- OH, DEAR.
- UH-HUH.

WELL, DID YOU EXPLAIN
THE THINKING BEHIND THIS?

I DIDN'T REMEMBER IT.

THAT IT WAS FOR HERB'S OWN GOOD.

HE HAS ALWAYS
WANTED AN ASSISTANT,

AND NOW HE REALLY DOES NEED ONE.

DON'T CLOUD THE ISSUES, TRAVIS. I
PROMISED HERB HIS JOB WAS SAFE.

WHAT EXACTLY DOES AN
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE DO?

WELL, IT MIGHT BE AN INTERESTING
CHANGE FOR ME FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

I COULD START OUT TODAY
WITH THAT CONCERT PROMOTER.

IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED
THAN ALL THAT, JENNIFER.

MR. CARLSON COULD
SHOW ME THE ROPES.

CARLSON. (chuckles)

OH.

WELL, THAT... THAT'S A THOUGHT.

- (blues music plays)
- I'M SORRY I WOKE YOU UP.

IT'S JUST THAT I'M
ON THE VERGE OF

A KIND OF INVESTMENT DEAL
HERE, AND I NEED SOME ADVICE.

AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN
VENUS FLYTRAP SPEAKS,

EVERYBODY LISTENS.

I'M SORRY I WOKE YOU UP, MAN.

NOON IS GOOD. YEAH,
THAT'D BE GREAT, MAN.

OKAY, THANKS. BYE.

- (off)
- YOU CALL THAT MUSIC?

HEY, LES, BUDDY,
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

WHY?

WELL, 'CAUSE YOU'RE
A FASCINATING FELLOW

WITH YOUR OWN SLANT.

- GO ON.
- WELL, LES,

HOW MANY YEARS HAVE WE
BEEN WORKING TOGETHER HERE,

AND WE NEVER JUST TAKE
THE TIME TO SHOOT THE BULL.

WHAT BULL?

TALK, CHAT, CONVERSE, YOU KNOW.

OH, RAP.

UH, WHY DON'T YOU
SIT DOWN HERE, LES?

YOU GO FIRST, OKAY? MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE. YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?

- OH, THANK YOU, JOHNNY.
- IT'S YOURS. SO HOW'S IT GOING?

WELL, LAST NIGHT I WAS FEELING
COMPLETELY ALONE IN THE COSMOS.

- OHH.
- AN INSIGNIFICANT SPECK

IN THE SANDBOX OF TIME.

WHICH IS UNUSUAL FOR ME, JOHNNY.

- I'M GENERALLY
A PRETTY "UP" FELLOW.
- I'LL SAY.

- BUT SOMETIMES
THIS JOB GETS TO ME.
- MM-HMM.

BUT THEN I REMEMBER WHAT MOTHER
NESSMAN SAID TO DO WHEN FRUSTRATED,

AND SO I BEAT MY RUGS.

EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK,
I'VE BEATEN MY RUGS.

THEY'RE VERY CLEAN.

FASCINATING, LES.

- YES.
- PARTICULARLY 'CAUSE

I'VE BEEN FRUSTRATED TOO, SEE?

I GOT IN THIS LITTLE
POKER GAME...

I'M NOT GOING TO LEND
YOU ANY MONEY, JOHNNY.

LES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M
GONNA ASK YOU FOR MORE MONEY?

- (volume up)
- LES,

THIS IS MAKING IT VERY
DIFFICULT TO, YOU KNOW,

SHOOT THE BULL.

OH, JOHN, I WAS JUST
COMING TO SEE YOU.

BAILEY, ARE YOU RICH?

UH, ONLY IN THE THINGS THAT
COUNT, AND I'M PRETTY P.O.'D ABOUT IT.

NO. WELL, OKAY, JOHN,

YOUR TURN TO VISIT HERB
IS PUSHED UP TO TONIGHT...

I NEED TO GET YOUR REACTION

TO AN AMOUNT OF MONEY.

UH, $562.16.

WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET IT?

TRY TO UNDERSTAND, ANDY.
MR. CARLSON REALLY CARES ABOUT HERB.

WE ALL DO. HONEST.

BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO THINK OF
PRACTICAL THINGS, LIKE FINANCIAL SURVIVAL.

- GOOD POINT.
- OH, JOHNNY,

A MAN NAMED GUIDO SCALISI CALLED

WITH THIS MESSAGE:
HE GOT FRUSTRATED

WHEN YOU DIDN'T CALL
HIM ABOUT THE I.O.U.,

SO HE'S SENDING A MAN TO
MEET YOU AT YOUR HOME AT NOON.

ARE YOU READY TO
GO, SALES TRAINEE?

READY.

THIS CONCERT PROMOTER COULD HAVE A
LOT OF BUSINESS FOR US. DON'T BLOW IT.

"DON'T BLOW IT"?

WON'T BLOW IT.

- ATTITUDE'S VERY
IMPORTANT, JENNIFER.
- I SEE.

ANDY, AREN'T YOU
GONNA WISH US LUCK?

HUH? UH, YEAH, GOOD
LUCK. YOU'LL NEED IT.

TRAVIS, I COULDN'T HELP
OVERHEAR WHAT YOU WERE SAYING

ABOUT FINANCIAL SURVIVAL,
AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU...

- NOT RIGHT NOW, JOHN.
- NO, IT'S NOW OR NEVER, TRAVIS.

LOOK, SCALISI IS
VERY FRUSTRATED.

I'M THE ONLY RUG IN SIGHT.

JENNIFER, A SALESMAN'S IN THE
BUSINESS OF CREATING NEEDS.

YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE
YOUR CLIENT BELIEVE

THAT HE'S GOT TO HAVE WHAT YOU'RE
SELLING, NO MATTER WHAT THE PRICE.

- IT'S KIND OF LIKE...
- DATING.

YEAH, THAT WORKS. EXCUSE ME.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A PAT PERILLO,

- A CONCERT PROMOTER FROM...
- PHILADELPHIA.

- YEAH.
- ARE YOU OFFICERS
OF THE COURT?

WHY DON'T WE MOVE ALONG?

NO, WE'RE FROM WKRP. I'M ART...

- KRP? (sighs)
- YOU'RE MR. PERILLO?

YEAH, CALL ME PAT.
LOOK AT ME. I'M SHAKING.

I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS EVER SINCE
THAT PUNK-ROCK MIX-UP IN PHILLY.

GEEZ, I'M SORRY. ANYWAY,
THIS IS JENNIFER MARLOWE...

- OH, SO THIS IS
YOUR JENNIFER, HUH?
- I BEG YOUR PARDON?

- HERB TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU.
- IMPOSSIBLE.

- YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN, HERB.
- NO, PAT, I'M ART...

SHH! ALL RIGHT, LISTEN,

IT'S SAFER IF WE JUST
SETTLE THIS DOWN HERE.

I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER BUST.

- "BUST"?
- ARREST.

"ARREST"? NOW, WAIT A
MINUTE. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

SHH!

LOOK, LOOK.

NOW, THE CONTRACT YOU
SENT ME IS FINE, ALL RIGHT?

I GOT A CHECK HERE
FOR THE WHOLE $9,000.

THE PROBLEM IS YOUR SPECIAL FEE.

- "FEE"?
- KICKBACK.

I'M WORRIED THIS GUY CARLSON
ISN'T AS DUMB AS YOU SAID.

- "DUMB"?
- GULLIBLE.

DO YOU KNOW THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN HIDE
THE GROSS AMOUNTS IN THE CONTRACT?

NOW, I AM WORRIED.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. I WANT TO KNOW...
- EXCUSE US.

- WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
- RELAX.

JUST GO STAND OVER
THERE BY THE TRASH CAN.

MR. CARLSON...

- JENNIFER, I...
- IT IS ONLY A KICKBACK

IF YOU POCKET IT.

- YOU WON'T.
- HUH? NO, IT'S WRONG.

NOT IF ALL THE MONEY
GOES TO THE STATION.

WE NEED THIS ACCOUNT,

AND, UH, WE WANT TO
PROVE ANDY WRONG, HERB.

OH?

OHH!

UH, MR. PERILLO...

- (gasps)
- YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT, PAT.

I CAN HANDLE CARLSON.

HERB, LISTEN, I HOPE
YOU'RE NOT OFFENDED.

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE
GOT TOO MUCH AT STAKE

TO TAKE YOUR WORD ABOUT
CARLSON'S INCOMPETENCE.

PAT, THIS MAN KNOWS
CARLSON INSIDE AND OUT.

I APPRECIATE THAT,
BUT FOR ME TO SIGN,

I'VE GOT TO SEE FOR MYSELF.

UH... LET'S GO, HERB.

BAILEY, I NEED A FAVOR.

HERE.

IF SOMEBODY COMES HERE LOOKING
FOR ME, ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY BIG,

I'M NOT HERE, OKAY?
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME.

- WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME?
- OH, SURE.

THAT'S WHAT THEY
EXPECT ME TO DO. THINK!

- BAILEY, MR. CARLSON IS HERB.
- HUH?

JENNIFER, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

HERB WILL BE WAITING
IN MR. CARLSON'S OFFICE

UNTIL HE COMES BACK FROM LUNCH.

- HE WILL?
- LOOK, I HAVEN'T GOT
A LOT OF TIME.

- WILL HE BE BACK SOON?
- WHO?

CARLSON.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- OH!

I'M SURE HE WILL.

- YOU ARE? GOOD.
- I'M PAT PERILLO.

- I'M, UH...
- BAILEY QUARTERS.

OH, GOOD.

HERB? HERB?

OH. UH, PAT, FOLLOW
ME, WILL YOU, PLEASE?

- LISTEN, I'M SORRY TO PUT YOU
TO ALL THIS TROUBLE, HERB.
- HUH?

- BAILEY?
- HUH?

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXPLAIN,

BUT FOR THE NEXT HOUR,
MR. CARLSON IS HERB.

- OKAY.
- OH, AND DON'T TELL ANDY.

- YOU KNOW HOW HE GETS
WHEN HE THINKS HE'S RIGHT.
- OH, SURE.

NOW I HAVE TO
FIND A MR. CARLSON.

(chuckles) MAY I HELP YOU?

A GUY NAMED FEVER... I WANT HIM.

- OH, I'M SORRY,
HE'S NOT HERE.
- HE AIN'T AT HOME EITHER.

REALLY?

I'LL WAIT. HE'LL SHOW.

UH, MISTER, I, UH...

YEAH?

HE PROBABLY WON'T BE BACK TODAY.

SO I'LL WAIT TILL TOMORROW.

FINE.

I DON'T LIKE TO WAIT.

NO.

(gasps)

HI, BAILEY. IS JOHNNY AROUND?

- NO.
- WHERE IS HE?

- I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.
- WHAT?

HE ISN'T HERE, AND I HAVEN'T
SEEN HIM, AND THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

- BAILEY...
- DON'T PUSH ME.

JENNIFER?

NO, BAILEY.

WELL, ANYWAY, HE'S A
SPORTSMAN, A FISHERMAN,

AN AVID READER, AND THIS IS
WHERE HE LIKES TO SIT AND THINK.

LISTEN, LISTEN, HERB,
I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU THIS...

JENNIFER... WHOA!

I MEAN, ISN'T MRS.
TARLEK AT ALL SUSPICIOUS?

WELL, I DON'T THINK SO. 'COURSE, I
ONLY SEE HER ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR.

HERE'S OUR BIG GUY.

OH, JENNIFER...
- MR. CARLSON?
- WHAT? OH.

THIS IS PAT PERILLO.

YOU'VE GOT QUITE A
REPUTATION, MR. CARLSON.

I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

MR. PERILLO.

CALL ME PAT, HUH?

WELL, I SEE YOU'VE BEEN
BITTEN BY THE FISHING BUG, HUH?

WHERE?

THAT MEANS THAT
YOU LIKE TO FISH.

BUT I DON'T.

WELL, THEN, MR. CARLSON,

THEN WE'LL JUST GET RID
OF ALL THESE STUFFED FISH.

WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?

OH, YES.

I FISH.

- LET'S SIT.
- SIT.

I'LL SIT HERE,
BECAUSE IT'S MY CHAIR.

LISTEN, BIG GUY,
UH... (chuckles)

I WANTED YOU TO MEET PAT
BECAUSE HE'S A NEW CLIENT OF OURS.

GOOD.

- HERB SHOULD BE PLEASED.
- HE IS.

YOU'VE SEEN HIM?

WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

J-JENNIFER?

OH, SOMETIMES
MR. CARLSON FORGETS.

TSK, TSK, TSK.

OH, I'M SORRY, JENNIFER.

OH, DON'T APOLOGIZE TO
ME, APOLOGIZE TO HERB.

- I WOULD, IF HE WERE HERE.
- I AM.

- OH, I'M SORRY.
- DON'T MENTION IT.

HERB TELLS ME YOUR MOTHER TAKES

AN ACTIVE INTEREST
IN THE STATION.

OF COURSE, SHE DOES.

HOW ACTIVE?

WELL, WHENEVER IT'S A
CLEAR NIGHT IN DAYTON,

SHE TRIES TO LISTEN.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
SHE'S BEATING HER RUGS.

(exclaims) $562.16?

LOOK, I HAD A LITTLE RUN OF
BAD LUCK WITH THIS GUY, SCALISI.

- NOW I CAN'T GO HOME.
- GUIDO SCALISI?

IF I DON'T PAY UP, THERE'S
A GUY WAITING AT MY HOUSE

GONNA TURN ME INTO A DOORSTOP.

I'M SORRY, JOHN, BUT THE
MARKET'S REALLY BEEN ROUGH.

- VENUS...
- MY CASH FLOW
IS AT BOTTOM-LINE.

THIS IS ME, MAN!

MY LEVERAGE HAS
BEEN DILUTED TO A 1.25.

OKAY, I'LL JUST GO TO MEXICO.

I'LL BECOME A DEEJAY IN MEXICO.

ADIOS.

MY PASSPORT IS EXPIRED.

DO THEY HAVE ILLEGAL
ALIENS IN MEXICO?

JOHN, YOU CAN HIDE
OUT AT MY HOUSE.

THANK YOU. I KNEW YOU'D COME
THROUGH FOR ME, BROTHER.

JUST FOR A COUPLE DAYS.

- OKAY, AND THEN YOU'LL
LOAN ME THE MONEY?
- NO.

HI, BAILEY. HOW'S IT GOING?

ARE YOU FEVER?

NO.

- UH, YOU'RE MR., UH...
- DAVE.

THEY SAID HE WAS A LITTLE,
THIN, BLONDE-HEADED GUY.

IT'S CLOSE.

VERY CLOSE.

SOMETHING'S HAPPENING HERE.

PLENTY.

ARE JENNIFER AND
MR. CARLSON BACK?

SORT OF.

- I GOT A LOT OF FRIENDS...
- FEVER?

WHERE?

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT DEADBEAT ALL
OVER MYSELF. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM AROUND?

OH, NO. I HAVEN'T SEEN
ANYONE FOR YEARS.

WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST
GO LOOK FOR HIM SOMEWHERE ELSE.

- YES.
- YEAH.

YOU'RE CLOSER THAN
THE BEEFCAKE OVER THERE.

NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE. I
HATE TO INTERRUPT HERE...

- THEN DON'T.
- OKAY.

D-DID I INTRODUCE MYSELF?

I'M, UH, ANDY TRAVIS.

I'M PROGRAM DIRECTOR
HERE AT WKRP,

AND THIS IS MY BROTHER, RANDY,

- AND THIS IS VENUS, OF COURSE.
- OF COURSE. RIGHT, BAILEY?

I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
LIE DOWN FOR A WHILE.

WELL, MR. CARLSON,
I SEE THAT, UH,

EVERYTHING I HEARD
ABOUT YOU IS TRUE.

WELL, NOT EVERYTHING.

OH, BOY.

OH, MR. PERILLO, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO MEET SOME OF MY STAFF?

- (mouthing words)
- OH...

OH... OH, DON'T DO THAT.

UH, I DON'T THINK WE HAVE
TIME FOR THAT, BIG GUY.

WE'LL MAKE THE TIME, HERB.

MR. PERILLO, THIS IS
MY PROGRAM DIRECTOR...

ANDY TRAVIS. REAL
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS MY BROTHER, RANDY, AND
THIS HERE'S OLD VENUS, OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

WE DON'T KNOW WHO
THE "MOUNTAINOID" IS.

THAT'S DAVE. HE'S
LOOKING FOR JOHNNY.

WHEREVER HE IS.

WE'LL LET YOU GET BACK TO
YOUR OFFICE, MR. CARLSON.

OH, BUT I WAS DOING
SO MUCH BETTER.

MR. CARLSON, YOU'RE
BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.

OH, OKAY. I DO HAVE A BIG
PILE OF STUFF ON MY DESK.

MR. CARLSON!

OH, YES. THAT IS MY OFFICE,

SO THAT IS WHERE I WORK.

I'M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU.

CARLSON'S A REAL LOONY TOON.

OH, BUT WE ALL LOVE THE
BIG GUY ANYWAY, RIGHT?

ABSOLUTELY, YEAH.

WELL, LISTEN,
HERB, I THINK WE CAN

SIGN THIS CONTRACT ON THE
WAY TO THE AIRPORT, HUH?

FINE. I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE.

MAYBE I COULD GET
A RIDE WITH YOU.

- YOU CAN RIDE WITH ME.
- YEAH.

NICE MEETING YOU, DAVE.

JENNIFER, IN A LITTLE
WHILE, WHEN I'M HAPPY AGAIN

BECAUSE WE'VE MADE A SALE,

REMIND ME WHAT'S BEEN
SAID ABOUT ME AND BY WHOM.

A CERTAIN LITTLE SALESMAN
I KNOW IS GOING TO SUFFER.

I'LL GO BABYSIT THE BIG GUY.

HUH? OH, YEAH.

YEAH, IT'S NICE TO SEE
THAT THE SALES DEPARTMENT

IS RUNNING LIKE A
WELL-OILED MACHINE.

GOOD WORK, HERB.

I'M JUST DOING MY JOB, JOHNNY.

(nervous stammer)

Man: WKRP IN CINCINNATI

WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

WILL YOU TELL ME, PLEASE...
HAVE I BEEN REPLACED?

SORT OF.

- I DON'T HAVE A JOB?
- WELL, NO.

YOU GOT LES'S JOB.

IT'S KIND OF CONFUSING.

CARLSON GAVE ME HIS WORD.

- WHICH ONE?
- WHICH WORD?

WHICH CARLSON?

THAT ONE.

LISTEN, IT'S MY TURN TO VISIT
HIM. CHECK THE LIST, HUH?

- IT'S ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY.
- WELL, I JUST WANT TO
GET CREDIT FOR THIS.

WE DECIDED TO STOP BY SINCE WE
WERE DOWN IN EMERGENCY WITH ANDY.

- HUH?
- HE'S FINE.

YEAH, NO BONES WERE BROKEN.

- HE'D LIKE TO
SEE YOU, JOHN.
- ME?

HE IS YOUR BROTHER, ISN'T HE?

YEAH, I GUESS HE IS.

WELL, UM...

- TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, HERB.
- I WILL.

- JENNIFER...
- OH, DON'T EXCITE YOURSELF.

YOU HAVE A FEW SURPRISES COMING.

JENNIFER, GUARD THE DOOR.

HERB, UH, TODAY'S HEART TESTS

DIDN'T SHOW ANY PROBLEMS?

- NONE.
- GOOD.

MEANS THE OLD TICKER'S KIND OF
PURRING RIGHT ALONG THERE, HUH?

OH, SHOOT, I SHOULD
BE OUT OF HERE

NO LATER THAN
TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

DON'T COUNT ON IT, HERB.

(man singing rock, indistinct)

(meows)