WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 3 - The Union - full transcript
As WKRP's ratings continue to rise, along with its profits, the station's staff is approached to consider joining a union, just moments before Carlson is ready to announce raises for everyone. Feeling betrayed, Carlson changes his mind and reports the staff's intentions to his mother, who in turn tells him that if the staff unionizes, the station will be sold. Rather than threaten the staff he's come to know as his second family, Carlson advises his staff to vote with their hearts, which they ultimately do.
♪ THEY WHISPER PROMISES ♪
♪ IN THE ♪
♪ DARK ♪
PAT BENATAR FROM HER NEW ALBUM.
TUNED CALLED
"PROMISES IN THE DARK."
I GUESS WE'VE ALL HEARD
THOSE, RIGHT, BABIES?
AND THIS IS THE
DOCTOR, BUT I DO DELIVER
RIGHT HERE ON WKRP,
WHERE IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO REMIND YOU THAT
WKRP, WITH YOUR
GENEROUS HELP AND SUPPORT,
HAS NOW CLIMBED TO TENTH PLACE
IN THE CINCINNATI MARKET.
IF I SOUND EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS,
IT'S BECAUSE I CAN STILL
HEAR MY FATHER SAYING,
"SON, NO MATTER WHAT YOU
DECIDE TO DO IN THIS LIFE,
ALWAYS TRY TO COME IN TENTH."
I THINK WE'VE DONE IT HERE, DAD.
ANYHOW, YOU, THE LISTENER,
HAVE MADE US WHAT WE ARE TODAY,
- AND WE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- ♪♪
SO IT'S... IT'S HARDLY UP.
COME ON, JOHNNY, PUT A
LITTLE MORE CONVICTION
INTO IT, WILL YOU?
CARLSON MERELY WANTS TO THANK
HIS LISTENERS FOR THE GOOD RATINGS.
HE'S A VERY GRATEFUL GUY.
BE GRATEFUL TO ME.
GIVE ME SOME MONEY.
WELL, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.
SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE
CRYPTO-FASCIST
PUPPET OF THE MANAGERIAL ELITE.
TRAVIS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN
LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.
YEAH? WELL, I LIKE LOOKING
AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR.
- HEY.
- HEY.
DID YOU HAPPEN TO FIND A PAIR OF LARGE,
GOLD EARRINGS IN HERE THIS MORNING?
- YOURS?
- NO.
- GUESS WHAT?
- WHAT?
I GOT A LETTER HERE
FROM THE BROTHERHOOD
OF THE MIDWESTERN RADIO WORKERS.
THEY WANT ME TO ORGANIZE
A UNION RIGHT HERE AT KRP.
- NO KIDDING?
- YEAH.
YOU TOO?
OH, HECK.
HE'S BACK!
- HI.
- HI.
IN A LITTLE BIT EARLY THIS
MORNING, AREN'T YOU, VENUS?
- I'M A DEDICATED GUY, ANDY.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
DID YOU HAPPEN TO FIND A PAIR
OF GOLD EARRINGS IN YOUR OFFICE?
NO. SO, WHAT ARE YOU
TWO GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
- NOTHING.
- THE WEATHER.
NOTHING AND THE WEATHER.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT, TRAVIS?
- YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
KIND OF KNOCK
AROUND WITH YOU GUYS.
SHARE YOUR JOYS
AND YOUR HARDSHIPS.
GEE, I DON'T KNOW, ANDY.
OH, WELL.
- LET ME KNOW IF YOU CHANGE
YOUR MIND, ALL RIGHT?
- SURE, SURE.
- HE'S SNOOPING AROUND.
- YEAH.
THEY HAD A MEETING ABOUT THE
UNION THIS MORNING OVER AT WPIG.
OH, I LIKE IT. IT HAS A
RING OF CONSPIRACY TO IT.
YEAH. I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE TOO.
YOU GUYS? YOU GUYS,
I HAVE SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT,
AND IT'S CONFIDENTIAL, SO
I WANT BOTH YOUR WORDS
THAT NOTHING WILL
LEAVE THIS ROOM.
OH. WELL, HELL.
I GUESS THE WROTE
EVERYBODY IF THEY WROTE YOU...
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS LETTER, BAILEY?
WELL, I THINK A UNION
MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY
FOR PEOPLE AROUND
HERE TO GET A LIVING WAGE.
WHAT EXACTLY IS A LIVING WAGE?
WELL, YOU SEE, THE UNION HAS
A MINIMUM-SALARY LEVEL BASED ON
HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS.
I GUESS A REAL OLD-TIMER
COULD CLEAN UP.
♪ SO ALWAYS LOOK FOR ♪
♪ THE UNION LABEL ♪
- COME ON, EVERYBODY!
- ♪ WHEN YOU ARE BUYING ♪
♪ A COAT, DRESS, OR BLOUSE ♪
♪ REMEMBER SOMEWHERE ♪
♪ OUR UNION'S SEWING ♪
♪ OUR WAGES GOING ♪
♪ TO FEED THE KIDS ♪
♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪
♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪
GOOD MORNING, LES.
- JENNIFER, I'VE JUST SEEN
A MOST AMAZING THING.
- OH?
I WAS PREPARING MY EYEWITNESS
WEATHER REPORT WHEN I NOTICED
THAT THERE WAS A PLANE
FLYING OVER OUR BUILDING,
- SKYWRITING.
- THAT'S NICE.
BUT IT WAS WRITING,
"JENNIFER, 'JET-TADOR-AY.'"
"JE T'ADORE."
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS, LES, "I ADORE YOU."
IT ALSO MEANS
A VERY SILLY MAN HAS MISTAKEN
FRIENDSHIP FOR AFFECTION.
- WHO?
- HENRI, WHO'S
VERY PERSISTENT.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO HAVE
PEOPLE ADORE YOU THIS WAY?
I DON'T THINK I HAVE
TO TELL YOU, LES, DO I?
- KNOCK-KNOCK.
- (vocalizing tune)
JENNIFER, LOOK AT
THIS. (vocalizing continues)
HOW NICE.
YEAH. THIS IS A LURE.
USE THESE SUCKERS
DOWN ON THE KEYS WHEN
YOU GO AFTER THE BIG ONES
WITH THAT 20-POUND-TEST LINE.
MOST GUYS USE 40. I USE 20.
HEMINGWAY USED 20.
OF COURSE, ERNIE USED TO
DRINK A LOT WHEN HE FISHED.
I DON'T. SUN, ROCKING
OF THE BOAT...
UPSETS MY TUMMY.
BUT THE SIMILARITIES ARE THERE.
- HEY, JENNIFER?
- YES?
UH, I HEARD THE
EMPLOYEES SINGING
THIS MORNING... ABOUT SEWING.
- REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
WELL, MR. CARLSON, I THINK
THERE ARE SOME DOORS
BEST LEFT UNOPENED.
OH. UH, JENNIFER,
I WAS THINKING, IN LIGHT
OF THE NEW RATINGS,
THAT I'D GIVE
EVERYBODY A LITTLE BUMP.
NICE, LITTLE RAISE
RIGHT ACROSS THE BOARD.
YOU KNOW, NICE, NOT GREAT.
NOTICEABLE, BUT NOT NUTS.
WHY, MR. CARLSON,
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
GOSH, YEAH. IT MAKES ME
FEEL GOOD TOO, YOU KNOW.
JUST SORT OF ONE,
BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.
HOW ABOUT MOM?
OH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, SHE APPROVED.
I CAUGHT HERE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
HER SECOND AND NINTH MARTINI.
I THINK SHE MUMBLED
IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.
JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE.
YOU KNOW, NEXT WEEK I'D LIKE
TO GIVE A LITTLE COMPANY DINNER.
COULD YOU FIND AN ELEGANT
YET SOMEHOW CHEAP RESTAURANT?
I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
UH-HUH. UH, JENNIFER,
I'LL ANNOUNCE THE RAISES THEN.
OKEYDOKEY.
OH, ARTIE CARLSON, YOU'RE
ONE PRETTY NICE GUY.
NO. I DON'T APPROVE
OF UNIONS. I NEVER HAVE.
LES, IT IS NOT COMMUNISM,
IT'S TRADE UNIONISM.
IT'S AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE.
IT'S... SLAVIC.
- WHAT?
- TELL YOU WHAT, BAILEY.
I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH
YOU. I'LL JOIN THE UNION
IF YOU CAN TELL ME
WHERE JIMMY HOFFA IS.
LES, I KNOW UNIONS HAVE
HAD A LOT OF BAD PUBLICITY,
BUT YOU JUST DON'T THROW THE
BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.
HOW DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
THERE'S A LITTLE
BIT OF DIRTY WATER,
YOU DON'T THROW THE BABY
OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.
YOU SEE, YOU KEEP THE BABY.
WELL, I SHOULD
CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
- HI. WHAT'S GOING ON?
- NOTHING, HERB.
ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY NOTHING.
THEY'RE GOING TO
JOIN A UNION, HERB,
THE EMPLOYEES, RIGHT
HERE AT THE STATION.
A UNION?
UH-HUH.
(sucks teeth)
I'M TELLING.
YOU HAVE A FISH RUNNING
PERPENDICULAR TO THE BAIT,
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHAM! HE HITS IT,
AND YOU HEAR THE
OUTRIGGER GO, "THONG-NG-NG!"
SEE THAT LINE GOING
OUT? BZZ-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z!
AND ALL OF YOUR SENSES ARE
SUDDENLY GATHERED THERE
IN THAT ONE MOMENT... (grunts)
I TELL YOU, TRAVIS, SOMETIMES
I THINK IT'S BETTER THAN...
IT'S KIND OF A SUDDEN FEELING...
BETTER THAN, SAY, GOLF.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS GOOD.
IT'S GREAT. BOY, I TELL YA.
I'M A LITTLE WORN OUT
JUST HEARING ABOUT IT.
BIG GUY?
A UNION. I'M NOT KIDDING. RIGHT HERE.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? I AM SERIOUS.
- WHAT?
- THE EMPLOYEES, BAILEY...
THEY'RE ALL STARTING A UNION
RIGHT HERE AT THE STATION.
THEY'RE ALL GONNA BE TEAMSTERS.
THEY'RE GONNA BE IN
LAS VEGAS ALL THE TIME.
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, THERE'S A BIG
DRIVE ON TO UNIONIZE
ALL THE RADIO
EMPLOYEES ALL OVER TOWN.
I GUESS THEY
CONTACTED OUR PEOPLE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A
UNION HERE. I WON'T HAVE IT.
WELL, YOU MIGHT
HAVE TO ACCEPT IT.
OH, NO. WE'RE A FAMILY HERE.
I'M NOT GONNA HAVE OUTSIDERS
TELLING US WHAT TO DO.
WHY DON'T WE JUST WAIT
AND SEE WHAT GOES DOWN?
NOW, I'VE BEEN DOING A
LITTLE, UH, SNOOPING AROUND.
OH, WELL, WHY DON'T I DO A
LITTLE SNOOPING AROUND?
DON'T WORRY. I CAN
BE COOL, AS YOU SAY.
- (dials numbers)
- HUH.
HELLO, JOHNNY? YEAH,
THIS IS ARTHUR CARLSON.
LISTEN, YOU LOUSY INGRATES
THINKING OF JOINING A UNION?
OH. WELL, THANKS A LOT.
HUH?
NO, NOT YET.
I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE FIRED.
I WAS THINKING OF
GIVING EVERYBODY A RAISE,
A NICE RAISE.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT?
WELL, NOT NOW, TRAVIS.
IT'S DIFFERENT NOW.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
OFFERING SOMEBODY SOMETHING
AND HAVING THEM
DEMAND IT FROM YOU.
WHAT KIND OF A UNION?
RADIO EMPLOYEES.
HUH?
PEOPLE WHO WORK IN RADIO.
OH.
WELL, IT'S FAIRLY CLEAR
WHAT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO.
WH-WHAT?
(door shuts)
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TODAY LIVE
WITHOUT SPIRITUAL AWARENESS.
EVERYONE IS SO WRAPPED
UP IN THEIR OWN PETTINESS,
THEY DON'T NOTICE THE
MAGNIFICENCE OF LIFE
THAT GOES ON AROUND THEM.
NOW, MY PLANTS ARE
EVERYTHING TO ME.
I NOTICE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.
I KNOW WHO'S GROWING
AND WHO'S NOT GROWING.
I TALK TO THEM, I NURTURE THEM,
AND THEY, IN TURN, NURTURE ME
WITH THE DAILY MIRACLE
OF THEIR MERE EXISTENCE.
MOM, THE EMPLOYEES ARE TALKING
ABOUT FORMING A UNION AT THE STATION.
SIT DOWN, SON.
OKAY, THANKS.
WELL, THAT'S IT. EVERYBODY
WILL BE AT THE MEETING TONIGHT.
JENNIFER, HOW WOULD
YOU LIKE TO JOIN A UNION?
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- NO.
JOHNNY, I ALREADY
BELONG TO A UNION.
IT'S A QUASI-RELIGIOUS GROUP
CALLED THE INTERNATIONAL
SISTERHOOD OF
BLONDE RECEPTIONISTS.
THERE ARE ONLY 12
MEMBERS IN THE WORLD.
WE MEET ONCE EVERY
TWO YEARS IN SWITZERLAND.
IF I TOLD YOU OUR MINIMUM SALARY,
YOU'D HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND DIE. BYE.
- YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE HER?
- YEAH?
WELL, I GUESS WE'RE
ALL AGREED ON THIS
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF LES.
AM I RIGHT, LES?
LES, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST... NEVER.
JUST COME TONIGHT AND LISTEN.
NEVER.
- JUST FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?
- NEVER.
OR YOU COULD COVER
IT AS A NEWS STORY.
OKAY.
GOOD. GOOD. ONE FOR
ALL AND ALL FOR ONE.
WHY DON'T WE ALL GET SOME LUNCH?
WELL, WELL, WELL.
I SEE THAT YOU'RE
WITH HERB AGAIN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND I THINK IT'S ABOUT
TIME I TELL EVERYBODY
THAT HERB AND I HAVE BEEN
LOVERS NOW FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS.
SO, ARE YOU GOING
TO THE MEETING?
- YEAH, TONIGHT.
- EVERYBODY IS.
WELL, GO GET 'EM, TIGERS.
YOU REALLY HATE
THIS, DON'T YOU, TRAVIS?
NO, NOT REALLY.
ALONE AT LAST, HERBIE.
THEY'RE GOING TO SUGGEST
A UNION VOTE AT THE STATION.
IF THEY DO, YOUR HANDS ARE TIED.
I MEAN, YOU CAN'T GIVE RAISES
OR EVEN PROMISES OF RAISES
UNTIL THEY'VE DECIDED
WHETHER OR NOT TO JOIN.
I THINK TONIGHT I'M GOING TO MEET
WITH SOME OF THE OTHER OWNERS.
WE'LL NEED A UNITED FRONT.
NEXT... UM, HAVE YOU GOT A WAY
OF STARTING A RUMOR
AT THE STATION?
LES.
OKAY.
YOU LET THEM KNOW THAT
I'M GOING TO SELL THE STATION
IF WE HAVE ANY UNION PROBLEMS.
JUST LET IT GO.
AW, MOM...
YOU TELL THEM THAT,
ARTHUR. THIS ISN'T A GAME.
- DO YOU WANT
A UNION IN THERE?
- NO.
THEN YOU LISTEN TO ME,
AND WE'LL CRUSH THESE
PEOPLE RIGHT INTO THE GROUND.
(sniffs) MM, THAT'S HEAVENLY.
OH, NO. HENRI STRIKES AGAIN.
MISS MARLOWE?
I'M SORRY. SHE'S
NO LONGER WITH US.
- PLEASE?
- WELL... PUT THEM SOMEWHERE.
HOW ABOUT IN ANOTHER ROOM?
OH, THERE'S A THOUGHT.
(knock at door)
YES?
MR. CARLSON,
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
FLOWERS FOR YOUR OFFICE?
YOU KNOW, NO MATTER WHAT,
I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.
YES, I'D LOVE SOME FLOWERS.
- LET ME BE NOURISHED
BY THE MAGNIFICENCE OF LIFE.
- OKAY.
AH.
UH... (softly) VENUS,
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
LES.
BIG NEWS.
BE HERE IN 17 MINUTES.
THAT'S RIGHT: 17.
(Herb humming "The
Union Label" song)
- OKAY, WE CAN BEGIN.
- HI, LES.
HI. HERB, I'M AFRAID
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
WHY?
BECAUSE THIS IS UNION BUSINESS.
ANDREW, I DON'T THINK WE'D BE TOO
COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PRESENCE EITHER.
W-WAIT A MINUTE.
"UNION BUSINESS"?
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, NESSMAN?
ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SOME
DERANGED RIGHT-WINGER,
AND THE NEXT MINUTE
YOU'RE A UNION LEADER.
HERB, THIS ISN'T POLITICAL.
I JUST LIKE BEING IN
CHARGE FOR A CHANGE.
OH, OKAY.
LES, WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I THOUGHT THE
MEETING WAS AT NOON.
YES, THE BIG MEETING IS AT NOON.
THIS IS THE LITTLE MEETING
BEFORE THE BIG MEETING,
ONE THAT I'VE ARRANGED
IN ORDER TO FILL YOU ALL IN
ON A LITTLE PIECE OF INFORMATION
BEFORE YOU VOTE AT THE BIG MEETING,
WHICH IS AT NOON.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
FOR A DEFINITE FACT...
AND, PLEASE, I'VE SWORN
NOT TO TELL ANYONE...
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
FOR A DEFINITE FACT
THAT IF THIS STATION GOES UNION,
THE CARLSON FAMILY WILL SELL IT.
"SELL IT"?
YES, IMMEDIATELY, IF NOT SOONER.
AND, SINCE A NEW
BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN,
WE'LL PROBABLY ALL
BE OUT ON THE STREET.
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?
OF COURSE, IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE
FOR ME TO REVEAL MY SOURCE.
- IT WASN'T
MR. CARLSON, WAS IT?
- CERTAINLY NOT.
- HE'S BLUFFING, LES.
- NO, HE ISN'T.
ANDY, YOU'VE TALKED TO CARLSON.
WELL, IS IT TRUE?
YOU KNOW, TRAVIS,
I DON'T KNOW WHOSE
SIDE YOU'RE ON HERE,
BUT I GET THE FEELING
MAYBE IT'S NOT OURS, AND...
MAYBE IT'D BE
BETTER IF YOU LEFT.
SURE. BUT, LOOK,
I DON'T THINK WE OUGHT TO LET
THIS UNION BUSINESS SPLIT US UP.
NOW, WHATEVER YOU ALL
DECIDE IS COOL WITH ME.
I MEAN THAT. I REALLY DO.
OH.
COME ON, HERBIE.
(mariachi band singing, playing)
HI, JENNIFER. HOW'S IT GOING?
DID YOU HEAR THE RUMOR?
YEAH.
WELL, IT'S NO RUMOR.
SHE'LL DO IT. YOU'LL SEE.
- YEAH, WELL, WE'LL
TALK HER OUT OF IT.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK HER OUT
OF IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
- I THINK YOU'RE TAKING
THIS THING PERSONALLY.
- YOU'RE DARN RIGHT, I AM.
- WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- THIS WHOLE UNION THING IS
A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME.
NO, IT IS NOT. IT'S A PERSONAL
ATTACK ON YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S THE ONE WHO
WON'T RAISE THE SALARIES.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON IN
THIS THING ANYWAY, TRAVIS?
I AM ON THE SIDE OF THE STATION.
AND UNLESS I GET A PICTURE OF
YOUR MOTHER IN A MOTEL ROOM
WITH A KODIAK BEAR,
NOTHING IS GONNA HAPPEN,
UNION OR NO UNION, MR. CARLSON.
- WELL, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE
WHO WORK HERE,
THEY LOVE YOU.
WELL, THEY CERTAINLY HAVE
A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT.
- THEY'RE JUST TRYING
TO PROTECT THEMSELVES.
- FROM WHAT?
FROM YOUR MOM.
YOUR MOTHER THINKS BECAUSE SHE
OWNS THE LICENSE AND THE TOWER,
THAT SHE CREATED THE PROFIT.
THAT'S JUST NOT SO. THE EMPLOYEES
DO CONTRIBUTE, YOU KNOW.
I KNOW.
FEVER'S A BIG PART OF IT.
BUT IF YOUR MOM KNEW SHE
COULD GET A KID AT HALF THE PRICE,
- WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'D DO?
- (popping sound)
SHE SHOULD BE A LITTLE MORE
WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM,
LIKE I KNOW YOU ARE.
OH.
- WELL, YOU KNOW MOM.
- YEAH.
YEAH, I KNOW MOM,
AND I'D MAKE A DEAL WITH
THE DEVIL TO GET HER TO
PUT SOME MONEY
INTO THIS STATION.
FORGET THAT, TRAVIS. I'VE TRIED.
WELL, THEN, DON'T BE
MAD AT VENUS AND JOHNNY
AND BAILEY AND ALL THE
OTHERS THAT WORK HERE.
THEY'RE TRYING,
JUST LIKE YOU ARE.
I AGREE.
IT'S TOO BAD THAT
YOU CAN'T TELL THEM.
WHEN ARE THEY
HAVING THEIR MEETING?
IT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
- I'M GONNA GO TALK TO THEM.
- NO, YOU CAN'T.
IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
I DON'T CARE. I'M GOING ANYWAY.
SOMEHOW I KNEW YOU WOULD.
(mariachi music continues)
COULD I JUST SIT IN
HERE FOR A SECOND?
SURE THING.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU'D LIKE TO DANCE.
WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I
CAN REMEMBER ALL THE DEEJAYS
- (les exclaims)
- AND ALL THE OTHER
ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
BEING HERE TOGETHER,
AND THAT'S SOLIDARITY,
BROTHERS... AND SISTERS.
I DON'T WANT TO CAMPAIGN,
BUT I THINK THE TIME HAS COME
WHEN WE'VE GOT TO
GET THE HOB-NAILED BOOT
OF MANAGEMENT OFF
THE WORKERS' THROATS,
SO WE'RE GONNA VOTE
YES OR NO ON A UNION.
NOW, IF WE VOTE YES,
WE MAY ALL BE FIRED.
THEY COULD SELL THE STATION.
CLEARLY, WE'RE DEALING WITH
SOME PRETTY VICIOUS PEOPLE HERE.
- (clears throat)
- LOOK, MR. CARLSON, YOU'RE...
LOOK, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THAT'S MOTHER'S NOT
GOING TO SELL THE STATION.
SORRY, LES.
UH, SHE TOLD ME THAT
NOBODY WANTS TO BUY A UNION
SHOP UNLESS IT'S REAL GOOD,
AND OF COURSE,
THAT LEAVES US OUT.
NOW, I DON'T WANT A UNION,
'CAUSE I'D PREFER THE EMPLOYEES
COME TO ME SO THAT I COULD
PROVE I AM A
RESPONSIBLE MANAGER.
BUT, UH, YOU DECIDE.
EITHER WAY, IT'S FINE WITH ME.
WE'RE...
STILL FAMILY.
OKAY.
UH...
WELL, UH, WHERE WERE WE?
SO THEY VOTED 5 TO
4 AGAINST THE UNION.
I MUST SAY, YOU'VE
HANDLED THIS BEAUTIFULLY.
FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU DID IT, BUT...
MY CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M JUST DOING MY
JOB, MRS. CARLSON.
AND I WON'T FORGET OUR DEAL.
YOU'D BETTER NOT.
Man: WKRP IN CINCINNATI
WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.
HEY.
JENNIFER, LET ME ASK YOU,
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD COST
TO FIX THIS ROOM UP REALLY NICE?
ARE YOU THINKING OF
BUYING A NEW LAMP?
- UH, TRAVIS?
- OH, YES, SIR?
JUST HAD AN
INTERESTING LITTLE CHAT
ON THE PHONE WITH MY MOTHER.
IT SEEMS THAT SHE'S READY TO START
SHOVELING SOME MONEY BACK INTO THE STATION.
- IS THAT RIGHT?
- YEAH, BIG MONEY.
GREAT.
I GUESS SHE'S JUST NOW COMING
AROUND TO MY WAY OF THINKING.
I'VE HAD TO BE KIND
OF TOUGH WITH HER
RECENTLY, ANDY.
BRUTAL, ACTUALLY.
SOMETIMES... WELL, SOMETIMES
YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS
YOU DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE.
- OH, YES, SIR.
- THAT'S LIFE, TRAVIS.
- (chuckles) UH-HUH.
- HAVE YOU BEEN FISHING
DOWN IN THE KEYS?
(man singing rock, indistinct)
(meows)
♪ IN THE ♪
♪ DARK ♪
PAT BENATAR FROM HER NEW ALBUM.
TUNED CALLED
"PROMISES IN THE DARK."
I GUESS WE'VE ALL HEARD
THOSE, RIGHT, BABIES?
AND THIS IS THE
DOCTOR, BUT I DO DELIVER
RIGHT HERE ON WKRP,
WHERE IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO REMIND YOU THAT
WKRP, WITH YOUR
GENEROUS HELP AND SUPPORT,
HAS NOW CLIMBED TO TENTH PLACE
IN THE CINCINNATI MARKET.
IF I SOUND EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS,
IT'S BECAUSE I CAN STILL
HEAR MY FATHER SAYING,
"SON, NO MATTER WHAT YOU
DECIDE TO DO IN THIS LIFE,
ALWAYS TRY TO COME IN TENTH."
I THINK WE'VE DONE IT HERE, DAD.
ANYHOW, YOU, THE LISTENER,
HAVE MADE US WHAT WE ARE TODAY,
- AND WE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- ♪♪
SO IT'S... IT'S HARDLY UP.
COME ON, JOHNNY, PUT A
LITTLE MORE CONVICTION
INTO IT, WILL YOU?
CARLSON MERELY WANTS TO THANK
HIS LISTENERS FOR THE GOOD RATINGS.
HE'S A VERY GRATEFUL GUY.
BE GRATEFUL TO ME.
GIVE ME SOME MONEY.
WELL, THESE THINGS TAKE TIME.
SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE
CRYPTO-FASCIST
PUPPET OF THE MANAGERIAL ELITE.
TRAVIS, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN
LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR.
YEAH? WELL, I LIKE LOOKING
AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR.
- HEY.
- HEY.
DID YOU HAPPEN TO FIND A PAIR OF LARGE,
GOLD EARRINGS IN HERE THIS MORNING?
- YOURS?
- NO.
- GUESS WHAT?
- WHAT?
I GOT A LETTER HERE
FROM THE BROTHERHOOD
OF THE MIDWESTERN RADIO WORKERS.
THEY WANT ME TO ORGANIZE
A UNION RIGHT HERE AT KRP.
- NO KIDDING?
- YEAH.
YOU TOO?
OH, HECK.
HE'S BACK!
- HI.
- HI.
IN A LITTLE BIT EARLY THIS
MORNING, AREN'T YOU, VENUS?
- I'M A DEDICATED GUY, ANDY.
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
DID YOU HAPPEN TO FIND A PAIR
OF GOLD EARRINGS IN YOUR OFFICE?
NO. SO, WHAT ARE YOU
TWO GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
- NOTHING.
- THE WEATHER.
NOTHING AND THE WEATHER.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT, TRAVIS?
- YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
KIND OF KNOCK
AROUND WITH YOU GUYS.
SHARE YOUR JOYS
AND YOUR HARDSHIPS.
GEE, I DON'T KNOW, ANDY.
OH, WELL.
- LET ME KNOW IF YOU CHANGE
YOUR MIND, ALL RIGHT?
- SURE, SURE.
- HE'S SNOOPING AROUND.
- YEAH.
THEY HAD A MEETING ABOUT THE
UNION THIS MORNING OVER AT WPIG.
OH, I LIKE IT. IT HAS A
RING OF CONSPIRACY TO IT.
YEAH. I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE TOO.
YOU GUYS? YOU GUYS,
I HAVE SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT,
AND IT'S CONFIDENTIAL, SO
I WANT BOTH YOUR WORDS
THAT NOTHING WILL
LEAVE THIS ROOM.
OH. WELL, HELL.
I GUESS THE WROTE
EVERYBODY IF THEY WROTE YOU...
WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS LETTER, BAILEY?
WELL, I THINK A UNION
MIGHT BE THE ONLY WAY
FOR PEOPLE AROUND
HERE TO GET A LIVING WAGE.
WHAT EXACTLY IS A LIVING WAGE?
WELL, YOU SEE, THE UNION HAS
A MINIMUM-SALARY LEVEL BASED ON
HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS.
I GUESS A REAL OLD-TIMER
COULD CLEAN UP.
♪ SO ALWAYS LOOK FOR ♪
♪ THE UNION LABEL ♪
- COME ON, EVERYBODY!
- ♪ WHEN YOU ARE BUYING ♪
♪ A COAT, DRESS, OR BLOUSE ♪
♪ REMEMBER SOMEWHERE ♪
♪ OUR UNION'S SEWING ♪
♪ OUR WAGES GOING ♪
♪ TO FEED THE KIDS ♪
♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪
♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪
GOOD MORNING, LES.
- JENNIFER, I'VE JUST SEEN
A MOST AMAZING THING.
- OH?
I WAS PREPARING MY EYEWITNESS
WEATHER REPORT WHEN I NOTICED
THAT THERE WAS A PLANE
FLYING OVER OUR BUILDING,
- SKYWRITING.
- THAT'S NICE.
BUT IT WAS WRITING,
"JENNIFER, 'JET-TADOR-AY.'"
"JE T'ADORE."
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS, LES, "I ADORE YOU."
IT ALSO MEANS
A VERY SILLY MAN HAS MISTAKEN
FRIENDSHIP FOR AFFECTION.
- WHO?
- HENRI, WHO'S
VERY PERSISTENT.
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO HAVE
PEOPLE ADORE YOU THIS WAY?
I DON'T THINK I HAVE
TO TELL YOU, LES, DO I?
- KNOCK-KNOCK.
- (vocalizing tune)
JENNIFER, LOOK AT
THIS. (vocalizing continues)
HOW NICE.
YEAH. THIS IS A LURE.
USE THESE SUCKERS
DOWN ON THE KEYS WHEN
YOU GO AFTER THE BIG ONES
WITH THAT 20-POUND-TEST LINE.
MOST GUYS USE 40. I USE 20.
HEMINGWAY USED 20.
OF COURSE, ERNIE USED TO
DRINK A LOT WHEN HE FISHED.
I DON'T. SUN, ROCKING
OF THE BOAT...
UPSETS MY TUMMY.
BUT THE SIMILARITIES ARE THERE.
- HEY, JENNIFER?
- YES?
UH, I HEARD THE
EMPLOYEES SINGING
THIS MORNING... ABOUT SEWING.
- REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
WELL, MR. CARLSON, I THINK
THERE ARE SOME DOORS
BEST LEFT UNOPENED.
OH. UH, JENNIFER,
I WAS THINKING, IN LIGHT
OF THE NEW RATINGS,
THAT I'D GIVE
EVERYBODY A LITTLE BUMP.
NICE, LITTLE RAISE
RIGHT ACROSS THE BOARD.
YOU KNOW, NICE, NOT GREAT.
NOTICEABLE, BUT NOT NUTS.
WHY, MR. CARLSON,
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.
GOSH, YEAH. IT MAKES ME
FEEL GOOD TOO, YOU KNOW.
JUST SORT OF ONE,
BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.
HOW ABOUT MOM?
OH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, SHE APPROVED.
I CAUGHT HERE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
HER SECOND AND NINTH MARTINI.
I THINK SHE MUMBLED
IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.
JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE.
YOU KNOW, NEXT WEEK I'D LIKE
TO GIVE A LITTLE COMPANY DINNER.
COULD YOU FIND AN ELEGANT
YET SOMEHOW CHEAP RESTAURANT?
I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
UH-HUH. UH, JENNIFER,
I'LL ANNOUNCE THE RAISES THEN.
OKEYDOKEY.
OH, ARTIE CARLSON, YOU'RE
ONE PRETTY NICE GUY.
NO. I DON'T APPROVE
OF UNIONS. I NEVER HAVE.
LES, IT IS NOT COMMUNISM,
IT'S TRADE UNIONISM.
IT'S AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE.
IT'S... SLAVIC.
- WHAT?
- TELL YOU WHAT, BAILEY.
I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH
YOU. I'LL JOIN THE UNION
IF YOU CAN TELL ME
WHERE JIMMY HOFFA IS.
LES, I KNOW UNIONS HAVE
HAD A LOT OF BAD PUBLICITY,
BUT YOU JUST DON'T THROW THE
BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.
HOW DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
THERE'S A LITTLE
BIT OF DIRTY WATER,
YOU DON'T THROW THE BABY
OUT WITH THE BATHWATER.
YOU SEE, YOU KEEP THE BABY.
WELL, I SHOULD
CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
- HI. WHAT'S GOING ON?
- NOTHING, HERB.
ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY NOTHING.
THEY'RE GOING TO
JOIN A UNION, HERB,
THE EMPLOYEES, RIGHT
HERE AT THE STATION.
A UNION?
UH-HUH.
(sucks teeth)
I'M TELLING.
YOU HAVE A FISH RUNNING
PERPENDICULAR TO THE BAIT,
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHAM! HE HITS IT,
AND YOU HEAR THE
OUTRIGGER GO, "THONG-NG-NG!"
SEE THAT LINE GOING
OUT? BZZ-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z!
AND ALL OF YOUR SENSES ARE
SUDDENLY GATHERED THERE
IN THAT ONE MOMENT... (grunts)
I TELL YOU, TRAVIS, SOMETIMES
I THINK IT'S BETTER THAN...
IT'S KIND OF A SUDDEN FEELING...
BETTER THAN, SAY, GOLF.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS GOOD.
IT'S GREAT. BOY, I TELL YA.
I'M A LITTLE WORN OUT
JUST HEARING ABOUT IT.
BIG GUY?
A UNION. I'M NOT KIDDING. RIGHT HERE.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? I AM SERIOUS.
- WHAT?
- THE EMPLOYEES, BAILEY...
THEY'RE ALL STARTING A UNION
RIGHT HERE AT THE STATION.
THEY'RE ALL GONNA BE TEAMSTERS.
THEY'RE GONNA BE IN
LAS VEGAS ALL THE TIME.
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
WELL, THERE'S A BIG
DRIVE ON TO UNIONIZE
ALL THE RADIO
EMPLOYEES ALL OVER TOWN.
I GUESS THEY
CONTACTED OUR PEOPLE.
WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A
UNION HERE. I WON'T HAVE IT.
WELL, YOU MIGHT
HAVE TO ACCEPT IT.
OH, NO. WE'RE A FAMILY HERE.
I'M NOT GONNA HAVE OUTSIDERS
TELLING US WHAT TO DO.
WHY DON'T WE JUST WAIT
AND SEE WHAT GOES DOWN?
NOW, I'VE BEEN DOING A
LITTLE, UH, SNOOPING AROUND.
OH, WELL, WHY DON'T I DO A
LITTLE SNOOPING AROUND?
DON'T WORRY. I CAN
BE COOL, AS YOU SAY.
- (dials numbers)
- HUH.
HELLO, JOHNNY? YEAH,
THIS IS ARTHUR CARLSON.
LISTEN, YOU LOUSY INGRATES
THINKING OF JOINING A UNION?
OH. WELL, THANKS A LOT.
HUH?
NO, NOT YET.
I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE FIRED.
I WAS THINKING OF
GIVING EVERYBODY A RAISE,
A NICE RAISE.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT?
WELL, NOT NOW, TRAVIS.
IT'S DIFFERENT NOW.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
OFFERING SOMEBODY SOMETHING
AND HAVING THEM
DEMAND IT FROM YOU.
WHAT KIND OF A UNION?
RADIO EMPLOYEES.
HUH?
PEOPLE WHO WORK IN RADIO.
OH.
WELL, IT'S FAIRLY CLEAR
WHAT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO.
WH-WHAT?
(door shuts)
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TODAY LIVE
WITHOUT SPIRITUAL AWARENESS.
EVERYONE IS SO WRAPPED
UP IN THEIR OWN PETTINESS,
THEY DON'T NOTICE THE
MAGNIFICENCE OF LIFE
THAT GOES ON AROUND THEM.
NOW, MY PLANTS ARE
EVERYTHING TO ME.
I NOTICE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.
I KNOW WHO'S GROWING
AND WHO'S NOT GROWING.
I TALK TO THEM, I NURTURE THEM,
AND THEY, IN TURN, NURTURE ME
WITH THE DAILY MIRACLE
OF THEIR MERE EXISTENCE.
MOM, THE EMPLOYEES ARE TALKING
ABOUT FORMING A UNION AT THE STATION.
SIT DOWN, SON.
OKAY, THANKS.
WELL, THAT'S IT. EVERYBODY
WILL BE AT THE MEETING TONIGHT.
JENNIFER, HOW WOULD
YOU LIKE TO JOIN A UNION?
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- NO.
JOHNNY, I ALREADY
BELONG TO A UNION.
IT'S A QUASI-RELIGIOUS GROUP
CALLED THE INTERNATIONAL
SISTERHOOD OF
BLONDE RECEPTIONISTS.
THERE ARE ONLY 12
MEMBERS IN THE WORLD.
WE MEET ONCE EVERY
TWO YEARS IN SWITZERLAND.
IF I TOLD YOU OUR MINIMUM SALARY,
YOU'D HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND DIE. BYE.
- YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE HER?
- YEAH?
WELL, I GUESS WE'RE
ALL AGREED ON THIS
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF LES.
AM I RIGHT, LES?
LES, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST... NEVER.
JUST COME TONIGHT AND LISTEN.
NEVER.
- JUST FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?
- NEVER.
OR YOU COULD COVER
IT AS A NEWS STORY.
OKAY.
GOOD. GOOD. ONE FOR
ALL AND ALL FOR ONE.
WHY DON'T WE ALL GET SOME LUNCH?
WELL, WELL, WELL.
I SEE THAT YOU'RE
WITH HERB AGAIN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND I THINK IT'S ABOUT
TIME I TELL EVERYBODY
THAT HERB AND I HAVE BEEN
LOVERS NOW FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS.
SO, ARE YOU GOING
TO THE MEETING?
- YEAH, TONIGHT.
- EVERYBODY IS.
WELL, GO GET 'EM, TIGERS.
YOU REALLY HATE
THIS, DON'T YOU, TRAVIS?
NO, NOT REALLY.
ALONE AT LAST, HERBIE.
THEY'RE GOING TO SUGGEST
A UNION VOTE AT THE STATION.
IF THEY DO, YOUR HANDS ARE TIED.
I MEAN, YOU CAN'T GIVE RAISES
OR EVEN PROMISES OF RAISES
UNTIL THEY'VE DECIDED
WHETHER OR NOT TO JOIN.
I THINK TONIGHT I'M GOING TO MEET
WITH SOME OF THE OTHER OWNERS.
WE'LL NEED A UNITED FRONT.
NEXT... UM, HAVE YOU GOT A WAY
OF STARTING A RUMOR
AT THE STATION?
LES.
OKAY.
YOU LET THEM KNOW THAT
I'M GOING TO SELL THE STATION
IF WE HAVE ANY UNION PROBLEMS.
JUST LET IT GO.
AW, MOM...
YOU TELL THEM THAT,
ARTHUR. THIS ISN'T A GAME.
- DO YOU WANT
A UNION IN THERE?
- NO.
THEN YOU LISTEN TO ME,
AND WE'LL CRUSH THESE
PEOPLE RIGHT INTO THE GROUND.
(sniffs) MM, THAT'S HEAVENLY.
OH, NO. HENRI STRIKES AGAIN.
MISS MARLOWE?
I'M SORRY. SHE'S
NO LONGER WITH US.
- PLEASE?
- WELL... PUT THEM SOMEWHERE.
HOW ABOUT IN ANOTHER ROOM?
OH, THERE'S A THOUGHT.
(knock at door)
YES?
MR. CARLSON,
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
FLOWERS FOR YOUR OFFICE?
YOU KNOW, NO MATTER WHAT,
I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.
YES, I'D LOVE SOME FLOWERS.
- LET ME BE NOURISHED
BY THE MAGNIFICENCE OF LIFE.
- OKAY.
AH.
UH... (softly) VENUS,
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
LES.
BIG NEWS.
BE HERE IN 17 MINUTES.
THAT'S RIGHT: 17.
(Herb humming "The
Union Label" song)
- OKAY, WE CAN BEGIN.
- HI, LES.
HI. HERB, I'M AFRAID
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
WHY?
BECAUSE THIS IS UNION BUSINESS.
ANDREW, I DON'T THINK WE'D BE TOO
COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PRESENCE EITHER.
W-WAIT A MINUTE.
"UNION BUSINESS"?
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, NESSMAN?
ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SOME
DERANGED RIGHT-WINGER,
AND THE NEXT MINUTE
YOU'RE A UNION LEADER.
HERB, THIS ISN'T POLITICAL.
I JUST LIKE BEING IN
CHARGE FOR A CHANGE.
OH, OKAY.
LES, WHAT IS HAPPENING?
I THOUGHT THE
MEETING WAS AT NOON.
YES, THE BIG MEETING IS AT NOON.
THIS IS THE LITTLE MEETING
BEFORE THE BIG MEETING,
ONE THAT I'VE ARRANGED
IN ORDER TO FILL YOU ALL IN
ON A LITTLE PIECE OF INFORMATION
BEFORE YOU VOTE AT THE BIG MEETING,
WHICH IS AT NOON.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
FOR A DEFINITE FACT...
AND, PLEASE, I'VE SWORN
NOT TO TELL ANYONE...
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
FOR A DEFINITE FACT
THAT IF THIS STATION GOES UNION,
THE CARLSON FAMILY WILL SELL IT.
"SELL IT"?
YES, IMMEDIATELY, IF NOT SOONER.
AND, SINCE A NEW
BROOM SWEEPS CLEAN,
WE'LL PROBABLY ALL
BE OUT ON THE STREET.
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?
OF COURSE, IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE
FOR ME TO REVEAL MY SOURCE.
- IT WASN'T
MR. CARLSON, WAS IT?
- CERTAINLY NOT.
- HE'S BLUFFING, LES.
- NO, HE ISN'T.
ANDY, YOU'VE TALKED TO CARLSON.
WELL, IS IT TRUE?
YOU KNOW, TRAVIS,
I DON'T KNOW WHOSE
SIDE YOU'RE ON HERE,
BUT I GET THE FEELING
MAYBE IT'S NOT OURS, AND...
MAYBE IT'D BE
BETTER IF YOU LEFT.
SURE. BUT, LOOK,
I DON'T THINK WE OUGHT TO LET
THIS UNION BUSINESS SPLIT US UP.
NOW, WHATEVER YOU ALL
DECIDE IS COOL WITH ME.
I MEAN THAT. I REALLY DO.
OH.
COME ON, HERBIE.
(mariachi band singing, playing)
HI, JENNIFER. HOW'S IT GOING?
DID YOU HEAR THE RUMOR?
YEAH.
WELL, IT'S NO RUMOR.
SHE'LL DO IT. YOU'LL SEE.
- YEAH, WELL, WE'LL
TALK HER OUT OF IT.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK HER OUT
OF IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
- I THINK YOU'RE TAKING
THIS THING PERSONALLY.
- YOU'RE DARN RIGHT, I AM.
- WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- THIS WHOLE UNION THING IS
A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME.
NO, IT IS NOT. IT'S A PERSONAL
ATTACK ON YOUR MOTHER.
SHE'S THE ONE WHO
WON'T RAISE THE SALARIES.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON IN
THIS THING ANYWAY, TRAVIS?
I AM ON THE SIDE OF THE STATION.
AND UNLESS I GET A PICTURE OF
YOUR MOTHER IN A MOTEL ROOM
WITH A KODIAK BEAR,
NOTHING IS GONNA HAPPEN,
UNION OR NO UNION, MR. CARLSON.
- WELL, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE
WHO WORK HERE,
THEY LOVE YOU.
WELL, THEY CERTAINLY HAVE
A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT.
- THEY'RE JUST TRYING
TO PROTECT THEMSELVES.
- FROM WHAT?
FROM YOUR MOM.
YOUR MOTHER THINKS BECAUSE SHE
OWNS THE LICENSE AND THE TOWER,
THAT SHE CREATED THE PROFIT.
THAT'S JUST NOT SO. THE EMPLOYEES
DO CONTRIBUTE, YOU KNOW.
I KNOW.
FEVER'S A BIG PART OF IT.
BUT IF YOUR MOM KNEW SHE
COULD GET A KID AT HALF THE PRICE,
- WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'D DO?
- (popping sound)
SHE SHOULD BE A LITTLE MORE
WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM,
LIKE I KNOW YOU ARE.
OH.
- WELL, YOU KNOW MOM.
- YEAH.
YEAH, I KNOW MOM,
AND I'D MAKE A DEAL WITH
THE DEVIL TO GET HER TO
PUT SOME MONEY
INTO THIS STATION.
FORGET THAT, TRAVIS. I'VE TRIED.
WELL, THEN, DON'T BE
MAD AT VENUS AND JOHNNY
AND BAILEY AND ALL THE
OTHERS THAT WORK HERE.
THEY'RE TRYING,
JUST LIKE YOU ARE.
I AGREE.
IT'S TOO BAD THAT
YOU CAN'T TELL THEM.
WHEN ARE THEY
HAVING THEIR MEETING?
IT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.
- I'M GONNA GO TALK TO THEM.
- NO, YOU CAN'T.
IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
I DON'T CARE. I'M GOING ANYWAY.
SOMEHOW I KNEW YOU WOULD.
(mariachi music continues)
COULD I JUST SIT IN
HERE FOR A SECOND?
SURE THING.
I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU'D LIKE TO DANCE.
WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I
CAN REMEMBER ALL THE DEEJAYS
- (les exclaims)
- AND ALL THE OTHER
ON-AIR PERSONALITIES
BEING HERE TOGETHER,
AND THAT'S SOLIDARITY,
BROTHERS... AND SISTERS.
I DON'T WANT TO CAMPAIGN,
BUT I THINK THE TIME HAS COME
WHEN WE'VE GOT TO
GET THE HOB-NAILED BOOT
OF MANAGEMENT OFF
THE WORKERS' THROATS,
SO WE'RE GONNA VOTE
YES OR NO ON A UNION.
NOW, IF WE VOTE YES,
WE MAY ALL BE FIRED.
THEY COULD SELL THE STATION.
CLEARLY, WE'RE DEALING WITH
SOME PRETTY VICIOUS PEOPLE HERE.
- (clears throat)
- LOOK, MR. CARLSON, YOU'RE...
LOOK, I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THAT'S MOTHER'S NOT
GOING TO SELL THE STATION.
SORRY, LES.
UH, SHE TOLD ME THAT
NOBODY WANTS TO BUY A UNION
SHOP UNLESS IT'S REAL GOOD,
AND OF COURSE,
THAT LEAVES US OUT.
NOW, I DON'T WANT A UNION,
'CAUSE I'D PREFER THE EMPLOYEES
COME TO ME SO THAT I COULD
PROVE I AM A
RESPONSIBLE MANAGER.
BUT, UH, YOU DECIDE.
EITHER WAY, IT'S FINE WITH ME.
WE'RE...
STILL FAMILY.
OKAY.
UH...
WELL, UH, WHERE WERE WE?
SO THEY VOTED 5 TO
4 AGAINST THE UNION.
I MUST SAY, YOU'VE
HANDLED THIS BEAUTIFULLY.
FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU DID IT, BUT...
MY CONGRATULATIONS.
I'M JUST DOING MY
JOB, MRS. CARLSON.
AND I WON'T FORGET OUR DEAL.
YOU'D BETTER NOT.
Man: WKRP IN CINCINNATI
WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.
HEY.
JENNIFER, LET ME ASK YOU,
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD COST
TO FIX THIS ROOM UP REALLY NICE?
ARE YOU THINKING OF
BUYING A NEW LAMP?
- UH, TRAVIS?
- OH, YES, SIR?
JUST HAD AN
INTERESTING LITTLE CHAT
ON THE PHONE WITH MY MOTHER.
IT SEEMS THAT SHE'S READY TO START
SHOVELING SOME MONEY BACK INTO THE STATION.
- IS THAT RIGHT?
- YEAH, BIG MONEY.
GREAT.
I GUESS SHE'S JUST NOW COMING
AROUND TO MY WAY OF THINKING.
I'VE HAD TO BE KIND
OF TOUGH WITH HER
RECENTLY, ANDY.
BRUTAL, ACTUALLY.
SOMETIMES... WELL, SOMETIMES
YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS
YOU DON'T PARTICULARLY LIKE.
- OH, YES, SIR.
- THAT'S LIFE, TRAVIS.
- (chuckles) UH-HUH.
- HAVE YOU BEEN FISHING
DOWN IN THE KEYS?
(man singing rock, indistinct)
(meows)