WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 4, Episode 15 - I'll Take Romance - full transcript

Herb sets Les up with a blind date through his latest client. Les enjoys the date, but does not realize the Ill Take Romance Dating Service is actually a front for prostitution.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, HERB?

YOU.

ALWAYS YOU.

JENNIFER, SAY YOU
LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED.

NEVER.

JENNIFER, I KNOW THIS
IS A SILLY QUESTION,

BUT ARE YOU BUSY FRIDAY NIGHT?

HA! WRONG APPROACH, BIG GUY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE
CINCINNATI BROADCASTERS'

DINNER DANCE, HERB.

CARMEN'S GOT A COLD.



FRIDAY? THIS IS GONNA BE TOUGH.

COME TO THINK OF IT,
SHE HAD A COLD LAST YEAR.

AU CONTRAIRE. LAST
YEAR SHE HAD THE FLU.

THE YEAR BEFORE
THAT, SHE HAD A COLD.

OH. HMM.

- THAT'S FRIDAY THIS WEEK?
- MM-HMM.

IT'S GONNA BE TWO
HOURS OF GUEST SPEAKERS

TALKING ABOUT RADIO, AD
RATES, THINGS LIKE THAT.

THEN THEY'RE GONNA
HAVE A DANCE BAND.

IT'S A GROUP, A TRIO.

IT'S $35 A PERSON.
I MEAN, IT'S NICE.

'82, '82... I CAN FIX
YOU UP, BIG GUY.

- THANKS, HERB.
- NO, NO, NO.

DON'T THANK ME, THANK THE "I'LL
TAKE ROMANCE" DATING SERVICE.



THE WHAT?

HERB FINALLY GOT A
SPONSOR FOR LES'S NEWS.

THEIR MOTTO IS "YOU'LL
NEVER WALK ALONE."

GREAT OUTFIT. THEY'RE JUST ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STATE LINE.

I'M NOT LOOKING
FOR A DATE, HERB.

I'M LOOKING FOR COMPANIONSHIP.

WHO ISN'T?

OH, DEAR. I'LL BE
CHRISTENING A SHIP.

OH, DARN!

MAYBE I CAN POSTPONE IT.

JUST A THOUGHT, BIG GUY:

I BELIEVE WE SHOULD USE
THE SERVICE OF THE CLIENT.

IT'S MY GUESS THAT
HERB HAS ALREADY

FILLED OUT A
QUESTIONNAIRE AND SENT IT IN.

DARN RIGHT. TO BE SURE OF THE
CLIENT, YOU'VE GOT TO TEST THE PRODUCT.

HERB, YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN.

LOOK, IT'S NOT FOR ME.

I USED LES'S NAME.

HE'S GONNA TAKE
THE GIRL OUT, SEE?

PRETTY SLICK, HUH? HUH?

YOU SEE, THIS WAY I CAN
SEE IF THE GIRL'S WORTH MY...

UH, WHAT I MEAN IS,

IF THE CLIENT'S
HAPPY, I'M HAPPY,

AND, HEY, LES GETS SOMETHING
HE HASN'T HAD IN TWO YEARS:

A DATE.

- OH.
- MR. CARLSON,
I'LL GO WITH YOU.

YOU'RE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT
TO ME THAN ANY OLD LUXURY LINER.

THANK YOU, JENNIFER.

LES KNOWS ABOUT THIS THING?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
HIS FACE WHEN I TOLD HIM.

- MORNING.
- OH, GOOD MORNING, LES.

HEY, CONGRATULATIONS. I
UNDERSTAND YOU'VE GOT A DATE.

WHAT DATE?

YOU SEE THERE? YOU
RUINED HIS SURPRISE.

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪♪

OOH! B.B. KING,

WITH YOUR FINAL BLUES
INJECTION FOR THE MORNING, BABIES.

THIS IS YOUR DOCTOR,
JOHNNY FEVER,

AND IT'S COMING UP ON
1:00 ON THE MIGHTY KRP,

SO I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE
AND MAKE THOSE EMERGENCY CALLS.

UH, LISTEN,

IF YOU'RE SINGLE
AND SICK ABOUT IT,

STAY TUNED FOR THE NESSMAN NEWS,

BROUGHT TO YOU BY
THE "I'LL TAKE ROMANCE"

COMPUTERIZED
COMPANIONSHIP, WHERE IT SAYS,

"YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE."

♪♪

Woman: ARE YOU SINGLE?

LONELY? DEPRESSED?

I AM NOT GOING
OUT WITH HER, HERB!

- LOOK, I SPENT 200 BUCKS
ON THIS GIRL.
- EXCUSE ME?

WHEN I WANT A
WOMAN, I CAN GET ONE.

BUT YOU CAN'T
OFFEND THE CLIENT, LES.

COULD I BE OF SOME SERVICE?

YEAH, JOHN. YOU
TAKE LORRAINE OUT.

WHO IS LORRAINE?

HERB FILLED OUT A FORM FOR
A COMPUTERIZED DATE FOR ME.

IT'S BAD ENOUGH MY NEWSCAST IS
SPONSORED BY A COMPUTER DATING SERVICE.

LOOK, OUR DEMOGRAPHICS SAY THAT

SINGLE, LONELY, DEPRESSED PEOPLE

LISTEN TO YOUR BROADCAST,
AND YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.

BUT IT'S SO COLD, SO INHUMAN.

- GET IN THE 20th CENTURY, LES.
- HERB,

TO ME, A PERSON IS MORE THAN

SOME DATA ON A
COMPUTER PRINTOUT SHEET.

I'M A COMPLICATED MAN.

I NEED A COMPLICATED WOMAN.

AND I'M WILLING TO WAIT
UNTIL FATE TAKES A HAND.

YOU KNOW HOW LONG FATE TAKES?

ABOUT THIS LORRAINE, HERB...

YEAH, ONLY LES'S PERFECT MATCH.

LOOK AT THIS. SHE LIKES
DARK-HAIRED, OUTGOING MEN,

BOWLING, AND PHYSICAL CONTACT.

- SOUNDS LIKE
YOUR PERFECT MATCH.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT.

I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH
YOUR PERFECT MATCH, HERB.

SHE ALSO LIKES WIMPY GUYS

WHO WEAR GLASSES
AND HOG-BREEDING.

SHE DOES?

I FIGURE SHE OUGHT TO
KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

WHAT ELSE DOES SHE LIKE?

MOONLIT NIGHTS, QUIET WALKS,

FINE WINES, BUBBLE BATHS,

HOT TUBS FOR TWO,
SILK-K-K SHEETS,

BREAKFAST IN BED, AND LOGGING.

THAT'S "JOGGING."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THIS FRIDAY NIGHT?

I'M GOING OUT TO A
MOVIE WITH JOHNNY. WHY?

WELL, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D LIKE TO
GO TO THIS BROADCAST DINNER DANCE THING.

ME?

SURE. YOU'RE IN BROADCASTING.
YOU WANT TO GET INTO MANAGEMENT.

THIS IS A CHANCE TO HOBNOB WITH
SOME VERY INTERESTING PEOPLE.

CAN'T GET A DATE, HUH?

WELL, SURE, I CAN.

THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD
OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU, THAT'S ALL.

I THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID YOU
WERE GOING OUT WITH THREE GIRLS.

I'M GOING OUT WITH FOUR, BUT
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BAILEY.

- AND ALL FOUR TURNED YOU DOWN?
- THEY DIDN'T TURN ME DOWN.

THEY TURNED THE EVENT
DOWN. IT'S BORING AS HELL.

- I SEE.
- SO YOU WANT TO GO?

ANDY, HAVE YOU
RENTED YOUR TUX YET?

- NO.
- I'VE GOT TO FIND A PLACE
THAT'S GOOD AND FAST.

- DOESN'T HERB HAVE A CLIENT?
- OH, NO.

"TUX FOR BUX."
IT'S A DRIVE-THRU.

THANKS, BAILEY.

GOT YOUR DATE YET, TRAVIS?

UH-UH.

HELLO?

IS THIS LORRAINE?

- THIS IS, UH...
- LES NESSMAN.

LES NESSMAN.

LES NESSMAN, YOUR PERFECT MATCH.

I GOT YOUR NUMBER
FROM THE SERVICE.

THEY SAID YOU REALLY
WANTED TO GO OUT WITH ME.

YOU DO?

WELL, THE REASON
I'M CALLING IS...

- DINNER.
- DINNER.

DO YOU EAT DINNER?

YOU DO?

WELL, WOULD YOU
LIKE TO HAVE DINNER?

- WHEN?
- HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?

I'M BUSY, HERB.

HOW ABOUT TOMORROW? SAY, UH...

- 7:00-ISH.
- 7:00-ISH.

7:00-ISH.

GREAT. WELL, UH...
I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

I'LL BE THE GUY IN THE GLASSES.

HEY, HUH?

PRETTY SMOOTH!

HEY, HUH?

WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

OH, HEY, LES, YOU WANT TO GO TO
THIS DINNER DANCE THING TOMORROW?

IT'S REAL FUN.

WELL, I'D LIKE TO,
ANDY, BUT I HAVE A DATE.

- YOU DO?
- SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE
SEEING SOMEONE, LES.

- I WASN'T.
- REALLY? HOW'D YOU MEET HER?

- I HAVEN'T.
- BLIND DATE?

- NO.
- WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?

ASK HERB.

VENUS, WHAT...

A COMPUTER HAS FOUND
THE PERFECT MATCH FOR LES.

ON THIS PLANET?

LISTEN, I'M SORRY, MAN.

I WAS KIDDING. I'D
LIKE TO MEET HER.

I'D LIKE TO MEET THE COMPUTER.

IF YOU WANT TO TAKE
OUT MORE GIRLS, TRAVIS,

JUST FILL OUT THIS
FORM AND SEND IT IN.

HERBERT, I DO NOT NEED A COMPUTERIZED
SERVICE TO HELP ME FIND GIRLS.

I MEET THEM THE OLD-FASHIONED
WAY: I PICK THEM UP IN BARS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
GOING STAG TO THE DINNER?

HERBERT, I'M GOING
STAG TO THIS DINNER BEC...

LOOK, LES, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE

TWO COMPLIMENTARY TICKETS

TO THE CINCINNATI
BROADCASTERS' DINNER DANCE?

- COMPLIMENTARY?
- THAT'S RIGHT. 7:00 TOMORROW NIGHT.

YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT AFTER "BUCKEYE
ROUNDUP." YOU CAN LEAVE FROM THE STATION.

- THANK YOU, ANDY.
- YOU BET.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
LORRAINE MEET YOU HERE?

YEAH. THAT WAY, WE
CAN ALL CHECK HER OUT.

I MEAN, MEET HER.

HELLO? WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

AGAIN.

- Both: BACK...
- OOH!

JENNIFER, I THINK I'VE BITTEN
OFF MORE THAN I CAN CHEW.

NO, YOU HAVEN'T. JUST REMEMBER:
BACK, SIDE, STEP. NOW, COME ON.

Both: BACK, SIDE, STEP.

- BACK, SIDE, STEP.
- BACK, SIDE...

JENNIFER, WHAT IF
SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME?

OH, SHE WILL.

WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WELL, SHE'S
PROGRAMMED TO LIKE YOU.

SHE'S LATE. WHAT IF
SHE STANDS ME UP?

SHE WON'T. SIDE, STEP...

WHY WOULDN'T SHE
LET ME PICK HER UP?

OH, 'CAUSE WE'RE
ALL MEETING HERE.

I'M SORRY, HE'S TAKEN.

WHAT IF SHE'S ONE
OF THOSE FEMINISTS?

WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT
IF I OPEN THE DOORS FOR HER?

DO WE STILL DO
THAT SORT OF THING?

IN MY BOOK, WE DO.

BACK, SIDE, STEP, BACK,
SIDE, STEP, BACK, SIDE, STEP.

WHAT ABOUT CHAIRS?

DO WE STILL HOLD
CHAIRS OUT FOR THEM?

OH, LES.

MAYBE SHE WON'T LIKE
THE BOUQUET I BOUGHT HER.

THE CORSAGE! I ALMOST
FORGOT THE CORSAGE!

WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

CATCHING UP ON SOME WORK.

HERB...

I GO NOWHERE TILL I
SEE WHAT I'M MISSING.

- HELLO, JENNIFER.
- OH, HI.

- OH, YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
- THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WORKING
LATE TOO, HUH?
- NEVER STOPS, YEAH.

MY, MY.

YOU DON'T MIND IF WE
JUST... STARE AT YOU?

OF COURSE, YOU AREN'T OUT HERE

TO GET A LOOK AT LES'S DATE.

- NO.
- NO.

I'M HERE TO GET SOME COFFEE.

I'M JUST HELPING.

- CREAM?
- PLEASE.

- HOW ABOUT SOME
COFFEE WITH THAT?
- AH!

IS HERB STILL HERE?

IF I'VE TOLD MYSELF ONCE, I'VE
TOLD MYSELF A THOUSAND TIMES...

NEVER GO TO A CLIENT OF HERB'S.

HELLO.

I'M LOOKING FOR A
LESTER NESSMAN.

YOU'RE, UH...

- LORRAINE MARVIN, HIS DATE.
- HOW DO YOU DO?

THIS WOMAN LIKES HOG-BREEDING?

I'M, UH... I'M ARTHUR CARLSON.

THIS IS JENNIFER
MARLOWE. SHE'S MY DATE.

UH, WELL, NOT MY DATE, EXACTLY.

I'M-I'M MARRIED, OF COURSE.

I SEE.

HI. I'M BAILEY QUARTERS,

- HI.
- JOHNNY FEVER'S DATE.

I'M VENUS FLYTRAP. NO DATE.

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

- HELLO.
- HERB TARLEK HERE,
GENERAL SALES MANAGER.

OH, THERE YOU ARE, HERB.

NICE MEETING YOU.

- I WANT A WORD WITH YOU, HERB.
- OH, THAT'S A NICE SUIT.

DON'T YOU ALL HAVE
SOMEWHERE TO GO?

NO.

OH, YEAH. IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE.

NO, NOT YOU, MR. CARLSON.

OH.

WELL... I THINK I WILL
GO WARM UP THE CAR.

- VENUS?
- HMM?

OH, YES. I HAVE TO
GO BACK ON THE AIR.

I'M ON THE AIR. LIVE.

UM, JOHNNY AND I
SHOULD BE GOING.

- WHERE?
- TO THE MOVIES.

- WHY?
- I'M PAYING.

OH.

GOOD NIGHT, HERB.

EXCUSE ME. I, UH,

HAVE TO GO FOR A QUIET WALK

AND A BUBBLE BATH.

PERHAPS A LITTLE LOGGING.

WELL, LORRAINE,

- LES WILL BE OUT
IN JUST A SECOND.
- FASHIONABLY LATE, HUH?

OH, THAT'S OUR LES.

- NICE FUR.
- THANK YOU.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST
DATE WITH CARLSON?

OH, IT'S NOT A DATE.
I WORK FOR HIM.

- FULL-TIME?
- UH-HUH.

THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN
THIS COMPUTER DATING SCAM.

OH, I'M NOT COMPLAINING.

IT SURE BEATS
WORKING THE STREETS.

OOH!

♪♪

OH, LES.

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS
PUT US IN THE CORNER?

THAT'S ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

I NOTICED THAT
YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE

DIDN'T SAY WHAT
YOU DID FOR A LIVING.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU DO?

SOCIAL WORK.

WELL, YOU DON'T OFTEN
FIND A SOCIAL WORKER

WHO'S INTERESTED IN HOGS.

YOU'RE FUNNY.

FUNNY "PECULIAR"
OR FUNNY "HA-HA"?

FUNNY.

WHY HAVEN'T WE BEEN SERVED YET?

OH, THEY'RE VERY
BUSY, MR. CARLSON.

LES, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?

- LES?
- OH. UH,

- WOULD YOU CARE TO DANCE?
- THAT'S OKAY, MR. CARLSON.

NO, I'VE JUST GOT TO
GET MY SHOE BACK ON.

OKAY.

SILLY, SHINY,
LITTLE SISSY SHOES.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MY
FIRST COMPUTER DATE.

I KIND OF FIGURED.

I ALWAYS MEET GIRLS THE
OLD-FASHIONED WAY, YOU KNOW?

IN BARS.

WELL, THAT WORKS.

DO YOU USUALLY MEET
MEN THROUGH A SERVICE?

USUALLY.

WELL, THAT'S FUNNY.

FUNNY "PECULIAR"
OR FUNNY "HA-HA"?

WELL, I JUST MEANT THAT YOU'RE
SO BEAUTIFUL AND CHARMING

THAT I FIGURED THAT

YOU'D HAVE MORE MEN THAN
YOU'D KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH.

THANK YOU.

BUT I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON WITH THEM.

ISN'T IT STRANGE HOW
MUCH WE HAVE IN COMMON?

IT'S FATE.

- HERE WE GO.
- WELL, THAT WAS QUICK.

YES.

I GOT AS FAR AS THE DANCE
FLOOR, AND THEN MY FEET GAVE OUT.

YOU'LL FEEL A LOT BETTER
AFTER YOU'VE EATEN.

LORRAINE, MAY I HAVE
THIS NEXT DANCE?

MY PLEASURE.

THANK YOU.

SIDE, SIDE, STEP?

- BACK, SIDE, STEP.
- GOTCHA.

LES, I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU.

ANYTHING, JENNIFER.

OUT OF THE TREE OF LIFE,

I HAVE JUST PICKED ME A PLUM.

DON'T DIP.

♪♪

- A HOOKER?
- YES, SO GET RID
OF YOUR CLIENT.

- I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
- HOW AM I GOING TO TELL LES?

A GENUINE STREETWALKER?

- YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.
- OH, NO, I'M NOT.

- LES THINKS SHE'S TERRIFIC.
- WELL, WHY NOT? HOW DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE?

- SHE TOLD ME.
- WHY WOULD SHE TELL YOU?

BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I...

SHE JUST TOLD ME, THAT'S ALL.

WELL, I DON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, I FILL OUT
THE FORM, AND I GET...

DOES THIS MEAN MY PERFECT
MATCH WAS A HOOKER?

HERB,

I'LL TAKE ROMANCE AS A
FRONT FOR PROSTITUTION.

EVERYBODY'S PERFECT
MATCH IS A HOO...

GOOD DAY, AND MAY THE
GOOD NEWS BE YOURS.

OH, NOW, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

I SURE DO. IT MEANS I WASTED

A $200 HOOKER ON NESSMAN.

NO, IT MEANS THAT LES THINKS

A CALL GIRL IS IN LOVE WITH HIM.

- IT'S NOT FAIR.
- HOW AM I GONNA TELL HIM?

I'LL TELL HIM.

LES, WAIT'LL YOU
HEAR WHAT I'VE GOT...

I'LL TELL HIM.

MAYBE I WON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM.

MAYBE HE FIGURED
IT OUT ALL BY HIMSELF.

NO.

MAYBE LES IS THE MAN THAT
WILL TURN THIS GIRL AROUND

AND MAKE HER LEAVE
THAT SORDID LIFE FOREVER.

BAILEY, WHAT MOVIE DID YOU
AND JOHNNY SEE THE OTHER NIGHT?

CINDERELLA.

OH, HI, GALS.

JENNIFER, WOULD
YOU DO ME A FAVOR

AND SEE THAT THIS OUTFIT GETS
BACK TO ITS RIGHTFUL MIDGET?

OKAY.

THANKS FOR THE DATE LAST NIGHT.

WE SHOULD DO THAT MORE OFTEN.

WE SHOULD.

JENNIFER, IF ANYONE CALLS,

I'M GOING OUT FOR A
SHOESHINE AND A SHAVE.

- LES, DON'T.
- WHY NOT?

- HAVE A SEAT.
- I DON'T WANT TO SIT.

SIT DOWN.

OKAY.

OOPS. TIME FOR LUNCH.

- IT'S 10:30.
- SO IT IS.

OH, AND WHAT A SHAME...
TOO LATE FOR BREAKFAST.

MAYBE I'LL JUST GO BACK THERE
AND BRUSH MY TEETH. YEAH.

SOMEONE SHOULD TALK TO HER.

YES, WELL, I WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU.

OKAY.

LES,

I WANT TO EXPLAIN THE
FACTS OF LIFE TO YOU.

YOU'RE TOO LATE, JENNIFER.
MOTHER GAVE ME A BOOK.

LES, THE WORLD IS
FULL OF MEN AND WOMEN.

CHAPTER ONE.

AND WHEN MEN AND
WOMEN FALL IN LOVE,

WHY, THERE'S NOTHING
MORE SPLENDID.

- IT'S LIKE...
- A NEWS SCOOP?

BETTER THAN THAT.

LES, RELATIONSHIPS
DON'T HAPPEN EVERY DAY.

YOU HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THEM. BUT...

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK
YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP

THAT YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE

DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE NOT
WORTHY OF HAVING ONE IF IT'S REAL.

SAID ANOTHER WAY...

ARE-ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME

THAT I'M NOT WORTHY OF LORRAINE?

NO. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT

LORRAINE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU.

SHE COST $200.

NO, SHE CHARGES $200.

LES, I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE OLDEST PROFESSION.

LORRAINE'S A FARMER?

THE OTHER ONE.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

IT'S TRUE.

THE DATING SERVICE
IS JUST A SCAM.

SO YOU'RE SAYING SHE ONLY WENT OUT
AND WAS BEING FRIENDLY WITH ME BECAUSE...

I'M SORRY.

YOU MEAN, SHE REALLY
DOESN'T LIKE... HOGS?

NO.

IT'S ALL STARTING TO
FIT TOGETHER NOW.

THAT'S WHY SHE CALLED
AND ASKED ME OUT AGAIN.

SHE WHAT?

THAT SCARLET WOMAN JUST
CALLED AND ASKED ME OUT.

- SHE CALLED YOU?
- YES, NOT MORE THAN
TEN MINUTES AGO.

LES, SHE LIKES YOU.

WELL, OF COURSE SHE LIKES ME.

WHAT A FOOL I WAS.

NO, LES. A HOOK...

AN EMPLOYEE OF
"I'LL TAKE ROMANCE"

WOULD NOT CALL
YOU AND ASK YOU OUT.

- SHE WOULDN'T?
- NO. YOU'D HAVE TO
GO THROUGH THE PIM...

SERVICE.

SO SHE LIKES ME?

YES.

WELL, YOU KNOW,

SHE SAID SHE'D NEVER
MET A MAN BEFORE

WHO JUST LIKED TO TALK.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

- SHOULD I GO OUT WITH HER?
- IT'S UP TO YOU.

- HOW DO I KNOW FOR SURE...
- IF SHE CHARGES YOU.

HEY, LES.

HOW WAS YOUR DATE?

- SWELL, ANDY.
- OH.

SO IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'RE A FIRM
BELIEVER IN "THE PERFECT MATCH"?

YES, I AM.

SHE SURE WAS A LOOKER.

A WHAT?

SHE WAS GOOD LOOKING.

YES.

YES, SHE WAS.

Man: WKRP IN CINCINNATI

WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

YOU'RE GOING OUT
WITH HER, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, YOU CAN GO OUT

WITH THAT KIND OF
WOMAN IF YOU WANT TO,

BUT ME, I'M GOING ON
DOWN TO THE MARINA

TO SEE WHAT IS SHAKING.

THAT'S WHERE THE
STEWARDESSES HANG OUT.

- HERB?
- YEAH.

YOUR WIFE CALLED.
BRING HOME PORK CHOPS.

NOW.

ENJOY YOUR EVENING, HERB.

LES, COULD I TALK
TO YOU A SECOND?

SURE, ANDY.

LESTER, I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU ABOUT LORRAINE.

- I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
- IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

IT'S NOT SO UNBELIEVABLE.

THAT YOUR PERFECT
MATCH IS MY PERFECT MATCH?

WHAT?

UH, YEAH, LES.

I SENT IN A QUESTIONNAIRE
A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

JUST TO SEE WHAT I'D
GET. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

I MEAN, I WASN'T SERIOUS. I...

I DON'T NEED A SERVICE.

AND ANYWAY, EVEN IF I DID, I...

I WOULD NEVER
TAKE YOUR GIRL, LES.

- ANDY...
- THIS IS CRAZY. LOOK.

I GOT LORRAINE TOO.

ANDY... HAVE A SEAT.

- LES, I DON'T WANT
TO SIT DOWN.
- SIT DOWN.

LET ME EXPLAIN
THE FACTS OF LIFE.