WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 3, Episode 20 - Nothing to Fear But... - full transcript

♪ I WANT YOU TO ROCK,
ROCK, ROCK, ROCK ME BABE ♪

♪ ROCK ME BABE, ROCK
ME BABY, ROCK ME BABE ♪

♪ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED ♪

♪ I WANT YOU TO
KEEP ROCKING ME ♪

♪ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪

♪ I WANT YOU TO
KEEP ROCKING ME ♪

♪ EVERYTHING I LOVE ♪

♪ I WANT YOU TO KEEP ROCKING ♪

♪ GIVE IT, GIVE IT TO ME BABY ♪

ALL RIGHT, BRIGHT-EYED BABIES.

THAT WAS "DOMINIQUE,
NIQUE" FROM THE "SINGING NUN."



AT ABOUT, UH, 5
O'CLOCK IN THE A.M.

AND THIS IS THE DOCTOR,

SITTING IN FOR YOUR FAVORITE

ALL-NIGHT MAN AND
MINE, MOSS STEIGER.

WE SURE MISS HIM, DON'T WE?

WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE? OH, YEAH.

"SAY WKRP-ITES,
IT'S THAT LUCKY KRP

"WIN A KEEN PORTABLE
RADIO TIME, WIN...

YOURS TRULY, INSERT NAME HERE."

I TELL YOU WHAT, BABIES,

I'M JUST GONNA
LEVEL WITH YOU, UH...

WE GOT ABOUT 50 OF THESE

100-POUND BODY-BUILDER
MODEL PORTABLE RADIOS.

AND... YOU PUT 'EM
UP ON THE SHOULDER,



YOU WANDER INTO
A CROWD OF PEOPLE

WHO HAVE NO INTEREST
IN YOUR MUSICAL TASTE.

THEY'LL PART LIKE THE
RED SEA, BELIEVE ME.

UH... WE'RE REALLY LOOKING
TO, UH, UNLOAD 'EM QUICK,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN SO.

UH... ANYBODY WHO
RECOGNIZES AT LEAST THREE

OF THE MANY OBSCENE
WORDS IN THIS NEXT TUNE,

GIVE ME A CALL AND YOU
COULD STAGGER OUT OF HERE

WITH ONE OF THOSE IN YOUR
HAND, IF YOU CAN CARRY IT.

AND WE'RE GONNA STAY RIGHT
INTO THE PROMISED SOLID HOUR

OF THE VERY SOLID
LATE-GREAT OTIS REDDING.

AND REMEMBER, I'M
STANDING BY MY PHONES,

LEMME HEAR THOSE OBSCENE WORDS!

♪ I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ CALL ME THE LOVE MAN ♪

♪ OOOH, BABY I'M THE LOVE MAN ♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT THEY
CALL ME I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

KRP!

♪ SIX FEET ONE WEIGH
TWO HUNDRED AND TEN ♪

ANDY! WHAT'RE YOU
DOING UP AT 5:07?

JUST LISTENING, HUH?
GREAT, H-HOW DO I SOUND?

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

NO, JUST... BY YOUR VERY WORDS

I THINK YOU'VE WON
YOURSELF A RADIO, PAL!

♪ MAKE LOVE TO
YOU AT NIGHT NOW ♪

♪ MAKE LOVE TO WHEN
YOU THINK ABOUT IT ♪

♪ I' GONNA BET YOU
EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ OOH BABY I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT THEY
CALL ME I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ SAY THERE GOES A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ SIX FEET ONE WEIGH
TWO HUNDRED AND TEN ♪

♪ LONG HAIR... REAL FAIR SKIN ♪

♪ I'M LONG LEGGED
AND I'M-A OUT-A SIGHT ♪

♪ MY, MY BABE I'M
GONNA TAKE YOU OUT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ OOH BABY I'M A LOVE MAN ♪

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI... ♪

WALTER AND DAN AND
HARRY AND MORLEY AND MIKE,

ALL LOOKED UP AT ME WITH
THEIR EYES BULGING OUT

LIKE LITTLE BABY
PIGS AND PLEADED...

"PLEASE, MR. NESSMAN.
PLEASE, MR. AWARD WINNER.

"PLEASE DON'T COME TO NEW YORK

AND PUT US NEWSMEN OUT OF WORK."

AH-HA! WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?

WELL, I NEVER SPEAK
IN MY DREAMS, JENNIFER,

THAT'S JUST HOW I AM.

OF COURSE, YOU ARE.

OH, YES I'M THE GREAT PRETENDER,

OOH, OOH...

PRETENDING THAT
YOU'RE STILL AROUND,

OOH, OOH...

MY NEED IS SUCH...

I PRETEND TOO MUCH...

I'M LONELY BUT NO ONE CAN TELL

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH...

OH!, OH! OH!

GOOD MORNING, LES.

JOHNNY, MY SPACE
HAS BEEN VIOLATED!

CONGRATULATIONS!
IT'S ABOUT TIME!

OH! THANK GOD!

LES, WHERE'S THE COFFEE POT?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMEBODY'S TAKEN MY TYPEWRITER.

HEY, MAN, THERE'S A
WHOLE LOT OF STUFF MISSING.

Les: GOOD-GOD!

LES, I HATE TO SAY THIS,

BUT I THINK WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED.

SOMEBODY MUST
HAVE JIMMIED THE LOCK!

JIMMIED IT? I THINK THEY
TOOK THE WHOLE DOOR!

SIX KIND OF MEATS,
SEVEN KIND OF CHEESES,

AND LITTLE TINY OLIVES,

PLACED IN THE SHAPE OF
THE STATION CALL LETTERS,

UNLIMITED CHAMPAGNE,
NOT TOO EXPENSIVE,

A BARTENDER, AND FOR CLASS...

A COAT CHECK GIRL,
IN A VERY SHORT SKIRT.

- OH!
- GO ON. TELL THE TRUTH.

IS THAT THE PERFECT
PARTY OR WHAT?

YEAH. WHO WAS THERE?

WAS? NO, NO, NO, NO.

THIS IS WHAT I'M PLANNING
FOR US THIS FRIDAY NIGHT.

WHO?

THE STATION, WKRP.

I MEAN, ER, ER, WE'RE INVITING
EVERY AD AGENCY IN TOWN.

OH!

YOU KNOW, I-I RENTED THE
BANQUETTE ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.

YOU APPROVED THIS WEEKS AGO.

FOR THIS FRIDAY.

EVERY ADMAN IN THE
CITY WILL BE THERE.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

OH, PROBABLY.

OH! YEAH! YEAH, OF COURSE I DO.

YOU... YOU SON OF A GUN,
YOU HAD ME GOIN' NUT.

WHAT... YOU-YOU KNOW,

OLE HERBY WAS COMPLETELY
FOOLED BY YOUR DUMB ACT.

THAT'S GREAT, BIG GUY.

OH, THAT'S A HOOT, AH!

IT WAS PRETTY GOOD, WASN'T IT?

GOOD, GOLLY!

WELL, MR. CARLSON,

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO
SEE YOUR OFFICE LIKE THIS.

IT'S A MESS.

WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!

OH, NO!

THAT'S AWFUL.

THEY HIT THE LOBBY TOO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE.

I FEEL JUST TERRIBLE.

YEAH, SO DO I.

I'VE... I'VE NEVER
BEEN ROBBED. I-I, NO...

OH!

THEY TOOK MY BIG
BOSS 650 ROD AND REEL.

IT-IT'S GONE!

I... I'M AFRAID THEY, UH,

THEY TOOK ALL OF YOUR
HOBBY EQUIPMENT TOO.

- WHAT?
- YOUR TOYS.

MR. CARLSON, I-I THINK I
BETTER GO CALL THE POLICE

IF WE STILL HAVE A
PHONE LEFT ANYWHERE.

I'M SORRY.

JENNIFER...

WHY WOULD SOMEBODY
DO THIS TO ME?

I... I NEVER HURT THEM.

I KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I... I DOUBT
IF I EVEN KNOW THEM.

WHY THAT? UH, I DON'T
THINK THEY EVEN KNOW ME.

WHO KNOWS?

WE COULD PASS ON THE STREET
WITHOUT KNOWING, YOU KNOW.

I THINK SO.

OKAY, LES. GIVE ME YOUR LIST.

WONDER WHY THEY DIDN'T
STEAL ANY OF MY AWARDS.

I DON'T KNOW, LES.
NOW, WHAT WAS TAKEN?

HERE. THE SILVER SOW
ALONE IS INVALUABLE.

THE FOOLS!

HERE'S THE LIST OF THE
THINGS THAT WERE STOLEN

FROM THE LOBBY AND
MR. CARLSON'S OFFICE.

- WOW! TWO PAGES?
- UH-HUH.

NOW, MR. CARLSON IS
REALLY PRETTY UPSET.

HE EVEN ORDERED A
BURGLAR ALARM SYSTEM

WITHOUT CLEARING
IT WITH HIS MOTHER.

HE WANTED IT INSTALLED TODAY,

BUT THE BEST ANYBODY
COULD DO IS FRIDAY.

NO! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I HAD $300 IN CONCERT TICKETS.

300? YOU TOLD ME 200?

HE TOLD ME 100.

THE POINT IS THEY'RE GONE.

WELL, NOTHING MISSING
IN MY DESK HERE.

YEP, SO I'M OKAY TOO.

INTERESTING!

AND NEITHER OF YOU

ALLEGEDLY HEARD ANYTHING
LAST NIGHT EITHER, DID YOU?

NOW, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, LES?

JUST THAT IT'S... INTERESTING.

COME ON, LES! JOHNNY'S NO THIEF.

HE'S A BUM!

VENUS WOULDN'T DO IT

BECAUSE HE'D BE THE
FIRST PERSON WE'D SUSPECT.

- VERY SENSITIVE OF YOU, HERB.
- I KNOW.

AND I ALSO KNOW THAT WE
OUGHT TO LINE THESE GUYS UP

AND SHOOT 'EM RIGHT
BETWEEN THE EYES.

WAIT A SECOND. YOU THINK
THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE KILLED

FOR A COUPLE OF HUNDRED BUCKS'
WORTH OF OFFICE EQUIPMENT?

JOHN, UH, TH-THE POINT IS,

WE'RE NOT EVEN SAFE
IN OUR OWN OFFICE!

I'LL TELL YOU ALL SOMETHIN'.

I'VE BEEN CONSIDERING,

FOR MY OWN PIECE
OF MIND, BUYING A GUN.

NOTHING DANGEROUS
ABOUT THAT, IS IT?

MODERN SOCIETY, AS WE KNOW IT,

IS DOOMED TO A PAINFUL
AND STINKING DEATH.

BAILEY, THE POLICE ARE
WAITING FOR THAT LIST,

OH, AND ADD THE 50 GIVE-AWAY
RADIOS, THEY'RE GONE TOO.

OH! NO!

THIS MAKES ME SICK.

IT'S LIKE I WANNA SCRUB
EVERYTHING BEFORE I TOUCH IT.

HOW ABOUT LOOKING ON
THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THIS, HUH?

NOBODY WAS HURT.

JOHNNY HERE COULD HAVE
BEEN HIT OVER THE HEAD

OR SHOT OR WORSE.

YOU KNOW, HE WAS HERE ALONE.

TRUE, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT THAT WAY.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S JUST
BEEN A BREAK-IN.

THEY HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, IT'S... IT'S
OUR TURN NOW.

WHAT'S THE ODDS OF THAT
HAPPENING TWICE, HUH?

OH, YOU KNOW...

NOW THE POLICE SUGGEST

THAT WE WATCH OURSELVES AT HOME.

THE THIEVES WALKED OUT OF HERE

WITH OUR ENTIRE PERSONNEL FILE.

THEY HAVE OUR HOME ADDRESSES,

THE HOURS WE WORK,
AND EVEN OUR SALARIES.

SO, UH, BE CAREFUL ABOUT IT.

THAT SETTLES IT!
THIS CITIZEN'S ANGRY!

EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE TO SAY A
FEW WORDS ABOUT THAT ROBBERY.

I KNOW HOW EACH OF YOU FEELS.

I CERTAINLY FEEL
THE SAME WAY MYSELF.

IT'S FRIGHTENING TO THINK

SOMEBODY WALK INTO
OUR OFFICES LAST NIGHT,

YET WE CAN'T LET THIS...

CHANGE THE WAY WE LIVE.

THINGS HAVE GOT TO
GET BACK TO NORMAL.

THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING EACH
OF YOU, INCLUDING MYSELF,

TO SHOW UP FRIDAY NIGHT
FOR HERB'S ADVERTISING PARTY

OR RECEPTION OR
WHATEVER THE HECK IS THAT.

All: OH, GOOD GOD!

LOOK, I DON'T
WANNA GO TO THAT...

I DON'T WANNA GO TO
THAT THING ANYMORE

THAN THE REST OF YOU DO.

LIKE MY MOTHER HAS SAID
ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS,

THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS TRY TO ACT NORMAL.

NOW BY THROWING THIS SWITCH,

THE SYSTEM IS FULLY ACTIVATED.

UH-HUH, THE BLUE ONE?

NO, THE GREEN ONE.

ALL RIGHT. UH-HUH.

NOW, WE ARE TIED
INTO THE POLICE STATION

THROUGH THE PHONE LINES,

WHERE AN ALARM GOES OFF
IF ANYONE OPENS THAT DOOR.

- HEY...
- SEE YOU ALL FRIDAY NIGHT.

OH, YEAH, YOU BET.

- 8 O'CLOCK, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.

HELLO, OFFICER. THIS IS
WKRP. WE'RE JUST TESTING

THE SYSTEM AGAIN.

I, UH... GUESS YOU KNOW
WHY I ORDERED THIS...

THIS SYSTEM, JENNIFER?

CERTAINLY NOT BECAUSE

YOU'RE SURRENDERING
TO URBAN PARANOIA.

NO! NO, NO, NO.

AND NOT BECAUSE IT'S
JUST A GREAT BIG FUN TOY.

NO.

YOU INSTALLED IT

BECAUSE IT'S A
REASONABLE RESPONSE

TO AN UNREASONABLE SITUATION.

- OH, YEAH.
- MM-HMM.

- YEAH.
- NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

UM, F-FULLY
ACTIVATED, I BELIEVE.

OKAY, HERE WE GO AND...
THERE WE ARE AGAIN.

AH-HA!

SEE, NOW IF ANYBODY
OPENS THAT DOOR,

AN ALARM SOUNDS HERE,
AND AT THE POLICE STATION.

AND THEN HELP IS ON THE WAY,

UNLESS YOU CALL THIS NUMBER

THAT I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN
RIGHT OVER HERE, YOU SEE.

SO THIS IS WHAT'S GONNA
KEEP ALL THE BAD PEOPLE, HUH?

LOOKS LIKE A FUN TOY!

WELL, IT ISN'T THAT
HAPPENS TO BE

AN UNREASONABLE RESPONSE
TO A REASONABLE SITUATION.

AT 8:30, THIS IS VENUS ON WKRP

PROVIDING THE MUSICAL
SCORE TO DELIGHT.

SOUNDS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?

BUT, HERB, THIS GALA WAS
SUPPOSED TO START AT 8 O'CLOCK.

LOOK, IF NOBODY IS GONNA
SHOW, I'D LIKE TO GET HOME.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY
FAMILY BEING THERE ALONE.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM
GO, HERB, BE A SPORT, HUH.

WHERE'S YOUR NAME TAG?

HE ATE IT. I SAW HIM.

YOU-YOU GUYS ARE
HAVING FUN, AREN'T YOU?

HONESTLY, HERB, WHEN
IT'S 10 O'CLOCK, I AM GONE.

YOU GOT SOMETHING MORE
IMPORTANT TO DO, HUH?

I'M GONNA SPEND
ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT

AT MY APARTMENT
SITTING BY THE PHONE

LISTENING TO NOISES.

IT'S THE SAME AT
MY HOUSE, BAILEY.

CAN I GO HOME TOO, HERB?

NO, NO, NO, WAIT. JUST A MINUTE.

DIDN'T YOU PEOPLE PAY
ATTENTION THE OTHER DAY

TO THE STIRRING
WORDS OF THE BIG GUY?

WE WERE ASKED TO ACT NORMAL.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS,
BUT I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE

AND TRY MY DARNDEST
TO DO JUST THAT.

AND IT'S MY GUESS THAT
TRAVIS WILL BE RIGHT BESIDE ME.

RIGHT ANDY?

GET AWAY FROM ME, HERB.

WHO'S HE?

UH, OH, HE'S NOBODY.
NOW, UH, WHERE WERE WE?

OH, YOU WERE TELLING ME

HOW YOU FIRST GOT
INTERESTED IN RADIO.

THAT'S RIGHT.

HERB, YOUR PARTY WAS PERVERSE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT...?
JOHN, JOHN, JOHN...

WA-WAIT NOW. LOOK, I...

I-I PROMISED LYNN THAT A
CELEBRITY WOULD BE HERE.

UH, USE LES, OKAY?

I'M... I WANNA GO UPSTAIRS,
GET A COUPLE OF HOURS SLEEP.

I GOTTA HAVE TO DO THE
ALL NIGHT SHIFT AGAIN.

JOHN, JOHN, WAIT, WAIT
A MINUTE, WAIT, WAIT.

I-I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I-IF YOU PROMISE TO STAY
JUST FOR FEW MORE MINUTES,

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.

- SURE.
- OKAY.

NOW I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE
ON THE AIR ALL ALONE TONIGHT.

SO TODAY I BOUGHT A GUN.

WHAT?

IT'S IN MY DESK IF YOU NEED IT.

TOP LEFT DRAWER,
AND IT'S LOADED.

WHAT A... HAVE A NICE
TIME AT THE PARTY.

AH! AH! WELCOME! WELCOME! HA-HA.

I'M WITH BRADY AND SILVER.

OH, WELL. I'M HERB TARLEK,

EXECUTIVE SALES MANAGER,
WKRP AND YOU'RE, UH...

HILDA. I-I RUN THE
MAILROOM AT THE AGENCY.

VENUS IS HERE MY
CHILDREN, ALWAYS CLOSE BY

AND THROUGH THE
HEAVENS OF A LONELY NIGHT,

THERE'S JUST THE TWO OF US.

BILL WITHERS AND GROVER
WASHINGTON JUNIOR.

♪ I SEE THE CRYSTAL
RAINDROPS FALL ♪

♪ AND THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL ♪

♪ IS WHEN THE SUN
COMES SHINING THROUGH ♪

♪ TO MAKE THOSE
RAINBOWS IN MY MIND ♪

♪ WHEN I THINK OF YOU SOMETIME ♪

♪ AND I WANT TO SPEND
SOME TIME WITH YOU ♪

♪ JUST THE TWO OF US ♪

♪ WE CAN MAKE IT IF WE TRY ♪

- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- AH! AH!

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
- TAKE IT EASY.

YOU TAKE IT EASY. I
THINK I HURT MYSELF.

DID YOU SET OFF THE ALARM?

NO, THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED

WHEN I CAME IN,
THE ALARM WAS OFF.

♪ WE LOOK FOR LOVE
NO TIME FOR TEARS ♪

♪ WASTED WATER'S ALL THAT IS ♪

♪ AND IT DON'T MAKE
NO FLOWERS GROW ♪

THIS IS NO FALSE ALARM OFFICER.

NO, WE...

YEAH, RIGHT, UH, BUT, LOOK I'M
NOT KIDDING AROUND THIS TIME.

THIS... YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT LOOK IT WAS...

YEAH. ALL RIGHT, UH...

WELL, HE SAID CALL HIM WHEN
THE SHOOTING STARTS, HUH.

SO NOW WHAT?

CHECK OUT THE STATION
TO SEE IF THERE IS ANYBODY

OUT THERE WHO SHOULDN'T BE.

YEAH, AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE.

IT'S A GOOD POINT.

LOOK, HERB TOLD
ME SOMETHING TODAY

IN THE STRICTEST OF CONFIDENCE.

HE'S GOT A GUN IN HIS DESK.

AND SAID I WAS THE
ONLY PERSON HE TOLD.

- I HEARD ABOUT IT FROM LES.
- OH.

I DON'T WANNA GO GET THE GUN.

WHY NOT? YOU'RE THE VIETNAM VET.

YOU'VE GOT EXPERIENCE
WITH WEAPONS.

I SWORE I'D NEVER
TOUCH ANOTHER GUN, MAN.

I DON'T WANNA SHOOT ANYBODY.

MAYBE WE'RE GETTING A
LITTLE CARRIED AWAY HERE.

- YEAH, WE SURE ARE.
- RIGHT, I MEAN...

WHY WOULD THE ROBBERS
COME BACK ANYWAY?

YEAH, EVERYTHING OF
VALUE'S ALREADY STOLEN.

RIGHT.

OF COURSE IS IT
HAS BEEN REPLACED.

- BRAND NEW STUFF.
- YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE COULD GET THE
GUN AND UNLOAD IT.

THAT'S SAFE, HUH?

YEAH, I... GUESS WE COULD
THEN CHECK OUT THE STATION.

YEAH. I MEAN, WE'RE
JUST PARANOID.

I KNOW I AM.

- JUST NOISY FALSE ALARM.
- YEAH.

COME HERE.

- YOU KNOW I WAS JUST THINKIN'...
- ME TOO.

IF THERE'S ANYBODY OUT
THERE AND HAVE A LOADED GUN,

- OH, RIGHT, - OR
THEY SEE OUR GUN...

WE SHOULDN'T UNLOAD OURS, RIGHT?

YOU PICK UP A GUN, YOU
BETTER BE READY TO USE IT.

- TOP DRAWER?
- RIGHT.

HE SAID LEFT.

ALL OF SOCIETY WILL BE CRUSHED

UNDER THE MASSIVE WEIGHT
OF MAN'S BASIC DISRESPECT

FOR HIS FELLOWMEN.

HEARD OF THE
TESTIMONY OF JOHN DUNN

SAID "NOT TO KNOW FOR
WHOM THE BELL TOLLS;

IT TOLLS FOR THEE!"

WHAT BELL?

EXCUSE ME. HAVE YOU TWO
NOTICED ANYTHING STRANGE?

THE KID WITH THE ROUND GLASSES.

UH, NO. I MEAN, NO-NO MUSIC.

IT'S UNLIKE VENUS TO MESS UP.

EXCUSE ME, BIG GUY.

I'VE GOT TWO REAL AGENCY VIPS,

THEY WANT TO TALK
TO THE MAN IN CHARGE.

- WELL.
- HAVE YOU SEEN ANDY?

DID I SAY ANDY? I MEANT ARTY.

MAY I CALL YOU ARTY?

DON'T POINT THAT
THING MAN! IT SCARES ME!

OH, YOU WANT TO TAKE IT? FINE.

- I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
- WELL, IT'S YOUR TURN MAN.

WATCH IT. WATCH IT.

ONE OF US JUST TURNED PALE.

FEVER!

MAN, WHEN WE STARTED THIS,

I DIDN'T THINK WE'RE
GONNA FIND ANYBODY.

VENUS, BAD PLANNING.

- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
- SHHHH!

WHY'S THE FRONT DOOR UNLOCKED
AND THE ALARM TURNED OFF?

- SHHHH.
- WHY DO YOU SHHHH ME FOR?

THE THIEVES ARE BACK
IN THERE IN YOUR OFFICE.

WE GOT 'EM CORNERED.

- WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
- SHHH!

THERE'S THREE OF
US INCLUDING JOHNNY.

- WE GOT THE ROD.
- THE ROD?

SURE. ROD, PIECE,
GAT, IRON, HEATER.

IT'S-IT'S-IT'S ANDY, VENUS.
PUT-PUT THE GUN DOWN.

PUT THE GUN... DOWN!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN'?

PULLING THE LEG OF THE
OLD PROGRAM DIRECTOR, HUH?

SORRY, ANDY, MAN.

LOOK GUYS, I-I...

I TOLD YOU NOT TO
PLAY AROUND WITH GUNS.

OH! SHUT UP, MAN!

IS THAT A REAL GUN?

YEAH, IT IS.

- IT'S NOT LOADED.
- YES, IT IS.

OH, MY GOD. YOU
AIMED THAT AT ME.

AT ME!

TRAVIS I THINK THAT...

NO DJ HAS EVER POINTED
A GUN AT ME BEFORE!

NOT AT ANY STATION
I'VE EVER WORKED!

OH SURE, I MEAN, WE'VE HAD
SOME PROBLEMS BEFORE, BUT...

Woman: BABY, WHAT'S
GOING ON OUT THERE?

TRAVIS, WHO'S IN MY OFFICE?

UH... UH...

OH, HI, HAS THE
PARTY MOVED UP HERE?

OH, WELL, WOO, WOO, WOO.

EVERYBODY, MEET STELLA.

THAT'S HER, SHE IS RIGHT THERE.

UH, WELL, ANDREW WAS JUST
SHOWING ME HIS OFFICE, UH.

HEY, UH, DO ALL THESE
PEOPLE WORK FOR YOU, HUH?

UH, ANDY, MR. TRAVIS,

I SUGGEST YOU HAVE
ONE OF YOUR EMPLOYEES

GET A RECORD ON THE AIR.

WE MAY BE FORCED TO FIRE
YOUR PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

I'M SORRY, ANDY, MAN. I
WASN'T GONNA SHOOT YOU.

I WAS GONNA SHOOT... DAMN!

IT'S MY FAULT TOO, TRAP.

WE'LL CHAT ABOUT
THIS LATER, ALL RIGHT?

UH, I'LL PUT THE RECORD ON,

IT GIVES THE GREAT
EXCUSE TO LIVE THEIR OWN.

SHOULD I GO WITH YOU OR
WAIT IN YOUR OFFICE, HUH?

I'M SORRY,
MR. CARLSON. I'M, UH...

THEN UNLOAD THAT
THING, WILL YOU?

I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS, MAN.

WELL, I-I THINK WE WERE
BOTH MORE AFFECTED

BY THE ROBBERY THING.

YEAH, I-I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

WELL, LET'S FACE IT.
I... THINK WE ALL DID.

NOT ME.

I'VE BEEN EXPECTING THE
DOWNFALL OF MODERN SOCIETY.

WELL, I THINK YOU MISSED
IT, LES, IT ALREADY HAPPENED.

THAT COULD BE THE CASE, VENUS.

HOWEVER, I...

I REFUSE TO GIVE UP
FAITH IN MY FELLOW MAN.

WELL! HERE'S WHERE
EVERYBODY IS HIDING.

I REALLY HOPE YOU'RE IN
THE MOOD FOR A SURPRISE.

OH, WELL, I REALLY
DON'T THINK SO.

AND I THINK I CAN
SPEAK FOR EVERYBODY.

TOO BAD.

WHILE YOU WERE ALL UP HERE
DOING HEAVEN KNOWS WHAT,

DOWNSTAIRS AT THE PARTY,

SOMEBODY TOOK OFF WITH
ALL THE COATS AND PURSES.

OH, JEEZ!

AND WE-WE'VE GOT NOBODY
TO BLAME BUT OURSELVES!

AND ON THE OTHER HAND...