WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 3, Episode 19 - A Simple Little Wedding - full transcript

SIX.

ALRIGHT, ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR, FIVE... OH, NO.

OH! NORTH CAROLINA WITH A HOTEL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS
IS HAPPENIN' TO ME.

$1275, HERBERT.

IT'S JUST A GAME.

OH, SURE IT IS TO
YOU. YOU'RE RICH.

YOU G... YOU'VE GOT
ALL THE PROPERTIES.

YOU GOT THE RACE CAR.

I'VE GOT THE WHEELBARROW

AND I HAVEN'T... I-I'VE HAVEN'T
PASSED GOIN' TWO HOURS.



SO DON'T TELL ME.

- GIVE ME THE MONEY, HERB.
- I HAVEN'T GOT IT.

I'VE GOT $18.
EVERYTHING'S MORTGAGED.

WELL, THEN YOU'RE OUT!

OUT?

NO, I CAN'T JUST GO OUT.

I MEAN... COME ON
GIVE ME A BREAK!

YOU'RE BANKRUPT, HERB.

PLEASE.

WHAT CAN I DO?

WELL... WE COULD
PLAY STRIP MONOPOLY.

YOU COULD GIVE
US YOUR COAT, HERB.

WHAT?

GOOD, I'LL TAKE THE COAT.



HUH?

GUESS WHAT ITEM
OF APPAREL IS NEXT?

WOOO!

THIS IS WHAT WOMEN'S
LIBERATION IS ALL ABOUT?

HUMILIATION?

NO. WE JUST HEARD
YOU HAD GREAT LEGS.

WELL... WHO TOLD YOU?

LES.

- WANT TO PLAY?
- SURE.

GOOD MORNING, LADIES.

- GOOD MORNING.
- HI.

AH-HA. I-I'VE GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU TWO.

NO. NOT HERE.

IN MY OFFICE. IT'S MORE PRIVATE.

TA TAT TA...

TAKE A LOOK... AT THIS... VOILA!

OH, MR. CARLSON, IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

- YEAH.
- IT MUST HAVE COST A FORTUNE.

AH-HA, HOW MUCH? GUESS?

IT'S CRASS TO DISCUSS
THE PRICE OF SUCH THINGS.

WELL, YEAH.

YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT GUESS ANYWAY.

2700 WHOLESALE, 3405 RETAIL.

- IS IT FOR CARMEN?
- YEAH.

OH! THAT'S SO SWEET.
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.

IS THAT NICE? WHY?

BECAUSE WE REALLY DIDN'T
GET MARRIED THE FIRST TIME.

YOU MEAN, YOU AND CARMEN

HAVE BEEN LIVING
IN SIN FOR 25 YEARS?

YEAH.

THAT'S CUTE.

NO, NOT REALLY. WE-WE-WE
WERE LEGALLY MARRIED.

IT'S JUST THAT WE ELOPED,
YOU KNOW, RAN AWAY.

SO SINCE NEXT WEEK IS OUR
SILVER WEDDING ANNIVERSARY,

WE THOUGHT... WE... WE'D
HAVE A LITTLE WEDDING,

AND INVITE A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS
INCLUDING EVERYBODY HERE.

YOU THINK IT'S CORNY?

I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL.

I THINK IT'S TERRIBLY ROMANTIC.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK

YOU OUGHT TO DATE AROUND
JUST A LITTLE BIT FIRST?

YEAH, WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE
REALLY GOOD ONES GET AWAY?

HOW ABOUT IT, MR. CARLSON?

I-I, MMM... I THINK I SHOULD
GET BACK TO WORK.

OF COURSE, YOU SHOULD.

SEE YOU HANDSOME.

OH, MAYBE I SHOULD
THINK ABOUT THIS A WHILE.

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪

HI, BOYS.

- HI.
- HI BEAUTIFUL.

LISTEN UH...

WHY DON'T YOU BOZOS TAKE A HIKE?

WHAT'S UP, JENNIFER?

I HAVE EXCITING NEWS.

SOMEONE HERE AT THE
STATION IS GETTING MARRIED.

- YEAH?
- NOT ME I HOPE.

- NOPE.
- WHO?

- SOMEBODY.
- WHO?

- I KNOW WHO.
- WHO?

YOU! OKAY, IT'S GOT
TO BE YOU OF COURSE!

YOU'RE GONNA MARRY THE ADMIRAL.

I KNEW IT, I KNEW
IT HAD TO HAPPEN.

I'M PSYCHIC LIKE THIS SOMETIMES.

NO.

LES NESSMAN.

LES NESSMAN IS GONNA
MARRY ETHEL MERMAN.

NO. ARTHUR AND CARMEN CARLSON.

THEY'RE GOING TO
GET MARRIED AGAIN.

NOW ISN'T THAT THE MOST EXCITING

AND ROMANTIC THING
YOU HAVE EVER HEARD?

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT THAT

YOU THREE WOULD WANNA
BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.

I'M TELLING YOU DAMN IT.

WITH... WITHOUT THAT
GREENHOUSE EFFECT,

EVERYONE ON EARTH
WOULD FREEZE TO DEATH.

NOT SO.

LES, IT WOULD BE 250
DEGREES BELOW ZERO AT NIGHT.

- PROVE IT.
- PROVE IT? HOW CAN I PROVE IT?

HI. HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD
THE NEWS ABOUT MR. CARLSON?

HE AND CARMEN ARE
GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY
ELOPED THE FIRST TIME.

- WE HAVE TO BUY GIFTS?
- OH, NO, NO, WAIT.

THEY WANT TO KEEP
IT SMALL AND SIMPLE.

STILL WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING.

MR. CARLSON WOULD APPRECIATE IT.

MAYBE A LITTLE PARTY.

BACHELOR PARTY.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO, HERB.

OH, WHY NOT? I HAVEN'T BEEN
TO ONE OF THOSE IN YEARS.

I TELL YOU WHAT I'LL
PLAN THE WHOLE THING,

- YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, LES.
- HUH?

I'LL HANDLE EVERYTHING,
MY DAY EXCLUSIVELY.

NOW... I GOT TO
THINK OF SOMETHING

OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

SOMETHING UNIQUELY UNIQUE.

I, UH, I TRUST YOU'LL PLAN
SOMETHING TASTEFUL, HUH, HERBY?

WHAT ELSE WOULD I DO?

STRIPPERS. GOTTA HAVE STRIPPERS.

- THANK YOU, HIRSCH.
- MY PLEASURE, MR. CARLSON.

YOUR MOTHER WILL
BE DOWN DIRECTLY.

THANK YOU, HIRSCH.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, HIRSCH.

HIRSCH PRACTICALLY
RAISED ME, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW, ARTHUR.

I REMEMBER SAYING TO HIM

"HIRSCH, LET'S GO OUT AND
THROW THAT BALL AROUND."

HIRSCH, OL' HIRSCH,

HE'D SAY, "NO, MAYBE
LATER, MR. CARLSON."

IT'S HARD TO BEAT
A MEMORY LIKE THAT.

Arthur: YEAH.

THEN I... I'D COME
IN HERE AND SIT.

SOMETIMES I'D SIT OVER THERE.

SOMETIMES I'D JUST STAND.

- ARTHUR.
- YEAH.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE CLEAR
WITH YOUR MOTHER, AREN'T YOU?

OH, YOU KIDDING?

CLEAR ABOUT WHAT?

WOULD EITHER OF
YOU CARE FOR A DRINK?

OH, NO, UH, THANK YOU.

N-NO, THANKS.

HIRSCH!

ONE SILVER BULLET
SHAKEN NOT STIRRED.

HE'LL STIR IT.

WELL... WHAT BRINGS
YOU TWO HERE?

OH, NOT THAT A MOTHER
SHOULDN'T BE GRATEFUL

FOR A SIMPLE PHONE
CALL EVERY NOW AND THEN.

BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSY.

HOW'VE YOU BEEN,
CARMEN? TELL ME, I LIKE YOU.

JUST FINE.

AND THE LITTLE ONE?

YOU SAW THE BABY THURSDAY.

YOU BET I DID. DON'T TOUCH THAT.

BEAUTIFUL CHILD.

YOU HAVE TWO LOVELY
CHILDREN. NOW GENES WILL TELL...

- YEAH.
- SOMETIMES.

LOOK, MOTHER.

I'LL GET RIGHT TO THE POINT.

CARMEN AND I, WOULD
LIKE TO GET MARRIED AGAIN.

I SEE.

HIRSCH!

I... I THOUGHT YOU WERE MARRIED.

WELL... THIS TIME WE'D
LIKE A LITTLE CEREMONY.

UH-OH, CEREMONY?

SHAKEN?

- YES, MA'AM.
- YOU'RE LYING.

- IF YOU SAY SO, MA'AM.
- THANK YOU.

OH NO. THANK YOU.

WELL, LET'S GET BACK
TO THE CONVERSATION.

YOU... WHAT?

MOM, 25 YEARS AGO...

OH, DON'T SAY 25 YEARS AGO.

SAY A WHILE AGO.

A WHILE AGO, WE GOT MARRIED...

AND YOU RAN AWAY.

AND WE RAN AWAY.

WE RAN AWAY BECAUSE...
YOU'D TAKEN OVER THE WEDDING.

TH-THIS WAS BECOMING
THE BIGGEST PARTY

THAT CINCINNATI HAS EVER SEEN.

OH, NONSENSE.

NONSENSE?

FRED WARING AND
HIS PENNSYLVANIANS

SINGING IN THE BACKYARD.

I MEAN, TH-TH-THAT'S NOT BIG?

S-S-SENATOR TAFT WAS COMING.

YOU INVITED EISENHOWER.

WELL, I WANTED A PROPER WEDDING.

BUT WE DON'T KNOW ANY
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

WELL, I DID.

WELL, THAT'S THE POINT.
YOU TOOK OVER THE WEDDING.

IT-IT WAS ALL FOR YOU.

- I AM A MOTHER.
- EXACTLY.

ARTHUR, DON'T BE RUDE.

OH, I'M-I'M NOT RUDE.

OH, I'M SORRY. I
THOUGHT YOU WERE.

RIGHT... YOU'RE RIGHT I WAS.

IT'S ALRIGHT.

NO, NO IT ISN'T ALRIGHT.

YES, IT IS.

OH, THANK YOU DARLING.

OH, YOU'RE WELCOME, SWEETHEART.

OH.

GOOD GOD.

UH... MOM... UM... WE...

ALRIGHT, ARTHUR,
COME ON OUT WITH IT.

WELL, WE'D LIKE TO
HAVE A LITTLE WEDDING.

AND-AND I-I EMPHASIZE
THE WORD "LITTLE."

AND YOU WOULD LIKE
FOR ME TO NOT INTERFERE.

EXACTLY.

OH, I WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT.

YOU WOULDN'T?

NO, WHY LET YOU TWO
BREAK MY HEART AGAIN?

HA, HERE WE GO.

YOU KNOW, 25 YEARS
OR WHATEVER IT WAS,

WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

I'VE MELLOWED SINCE THEN.

THEN, UH... YOU JUST
COME TO THE WEDDING.

THERE... THERE'D BE,
YOU KNOW, NO PARTIES,

NO SENATORS, NO PRESIDENTS.

AS YOU WISH.

OH, THANKS, MOM.

THANK YOU, MOTHER CARLSON.

- IS THAT ALL?
- THAT'S ALL.

WELL, IN THAT CASE...

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
THE BRADY BUNCH IS ON.

OH! BUT I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
YOU ABOUT THAT ARTHUR, DO I?

OH NO, OF COURSE NOT, MOTHER.

AND TH-THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

HIRSCH WILL SHOW YOU OUT.

OH, IT'S ALRIGHT, MOM.

I-I GREW UP HERE.

OH, YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER SOMETIMES.

THERE WAS TO BE A
LOVELY WEDDING PARTY

IN THIS ROOM ONCE.

INVITATIONS WERE SENT,
PRESENTS WERE PURCHASED...

MOM.

I'M SORRY. MY MIND WANDERED.

WELL, GOODBYE. AND THANK YOU.

B-BYE, MOTHER.

- BYE.
- BYE.

BYE.

OH!

Man: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

AT LEAST A SHOWER.

Arthur: IS THAT ALL?

OF COURSE.

Arthur: YOU SWEAR?

I SWEAR.

Arthur: OKAY.

HIRSCH! BRING ME THE PHONE.

HI CARMEN. YEAH,
IT'S THE BIG GUY.

ARTHUR, YOUR HUSBAND.

UH, HOW YOU DOIN' DARLING?

AH, WELL, GOOD.

I JUST WANTED TO CALL
YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT

JENNIFER AND BAILEY

HAVE ALREADY DRIVEN
OVER TO MOTHER'S PLACE.

YEAH, IT'S JUST GONNA BE
THE FOUR OF YOU THERE.

WELL, I PROMISE.

UH, YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW JUST,

JUST HAVE A LOVELY SHOWER.

WELL, I'LL EAT DOWNTOWN.

YEAH.

HAVE A LOVELY TIME, DEAR.

I-I LOVE YOU. BYE.

COME IN.

HI, BIG GUY, ON YOUR WAY HOME?

- YEAH.
- LOOK, UH...

WHY...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
STOP BY THE BULLPEN FIRST?

YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND

THAT THE GALS ARE
HAVIN' A SHOWER.

THAT'S REALLY TOO BAD.
THEY GET TO HAVE A SHOWER

AND YOU DON'T GET TO
HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY.

YOU KNOW, I GUESS
NO ONE WAS THINKIN'.

I GUESS THERE'S NOT THAT
ONE PERSON YOU CAN COUNT ON.

HERB, I WOULDN'T WANT
A BACHELOR PARTY.

IT'S THE LAST THING IN
THE WORLD I WOULD WANT.

I'D KILL SOMEBODY WHO
GAVE ME A BACHELOR PARTY.

HERB! YOU-YOU ALRIGHT,
HERB. HERB, HERB, HERB!

IT WAS... IT WAS...
IT WAS LES'S IDEA.

I TRIED TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.

WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LES IS PLANNING A
SURPRISE BACHELOR PARTY

FOR YOU RIGHT
NOW IN THE BULLPEN.

I... I TRIED TO
TALK HIM OUT OF IT!

OH, GOD LOVE HIM.
ISN'T THAT SWEET?

HERB, HERB, COME ON!

OKAY, TA DA... HERE HE IS.

THE MAN WE'RE ABOUT
TO LOSE TO MATRIMONY.

HERE COMES THE GROOM.

YEAH.

HEY, YOU'RE HAVIN' A
GOOD TIME, BIG GUY?

SO FAR.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
IT... IT WASN'T LES'S IDEA.

I TRIED TO SHARE THE CREDIT.

AND THAT'S, YOU
KNOW, THAT'S HOW I AM.

BUT, HEY, WHAT THE HECK.

IT WAS MY IDEA EXCLUSIVELY.

GUYS, I REALLY APPRECIATE.

YOU KNOW, WHICH CARLSON
MEANS WE JUST GONNA CHIP DOWN...

THANK YOU.

NOT NOW, TRAVIS.

MR. CARLSON. WHY DO I
HAVE ON THIS RAINCOAT?

I DON'T KNOW, HERB.

WELL, LET ME TELL
YOU WHY I HAVE DONE IT.

THIS IS A THEME PARTY.

NOW, IT WAS 25 YEARS AGO
WHEN YOU FIRST GOT MARRIED.

SO WE ALL DECIDED TO WEAR
WHAT WE WORE 25 YEARS AGO.

SO, TA!

NOW,

I'D... JUST LIKE TO ASK

THE REST OF THE GUYS,

YOU KNOW, AND I'M
NOT GOIN' TO GET MAD.

WHY THEY DIDN'T DRESS THE
WAY THEY DID 25 YEARS AGO?

LET'S GO AROUND THE ROOM. LES.

THIS IS THE WAY I WAS
DRESSED 25 YEARS AGO.

OKAY, OKAY, FINE.
I-I'LL BUY THAT.

BUT, VENUS,
WHAT-WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

IS THAT THE WAY YOU
DRESSED 25 YEARS AGO?

NO, HERB, I DECIDED
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER

JUG HEAD IDEA OF
YOURS, SO I IGNORED IT.

FAIR ENOUGH.

I MEAN THERE IS
ALWAYS ONE APPLE,

BUT LET'S IGNORE IT
AND HAVE A BALL. OKAY?

I MEAN COME ON.

EVERYBODY JUST COME
ON IN HERE AND GET DRUNK.

EXCEPT ME OF COURSE,

WHO HAS LITTLE PROBLEM
IN THAT AREA, OKAY?

COME ON NOW BECAUSE I
HAVE A... A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU

IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

YOU ASK ME FRED WARING WOULD
BE A WELCOME SIGHT ABOUT NOW.

OH, NO, MOTHER
CARLSON, THIS IS FUN.

OH, THANK YOU.

CAN HIRSCH GET ANYONE ANYTHING?

NO, THANK YOU.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I WAS THINKING OF STANDING.

MAY I DO THAT?

OF COURSE, MY DEAR.

OH, UH... WELL,
THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

MIGHT I MOVE ABOUT?

MOST CERTAINLY!
WE'RE HERE TO HAVE FUN.

OH.

THANK YOU.

IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE
TO SEE YOU, JENNIFER.

THANK YOU.

THESE PAINTINGS
ARE BY N.C. WYETH?

ISN'T THAT ANDREW
WYETH'S FATHER?

YES, THAT'S CORRECT.

- THEY'RE VERY NICE.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

THIS ONE IS OF A HANGING.

YES, I'M PARTICULARLY
FOND OF THAT.

VERY MUCH IN FAVOR
OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

- INTERESTING.
- YES.

OH, BY THE WAY, CARMEN.

I'VE TAKEN THE
LIBERTY OF INVITING

A FEW FRIENDS OVER TONIGHT.

- TONIGHT?
- YES, TONIGHT.

OH, WELL, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

OH, NO. NOT AT ALL.

HIRSCH!

- OH!
- HA-HA-HA-HA!

I DON'T THINK I'VE BEEN
THIS EMBARRASSED

SINCE THE LAST BACHELOR PARTY

THAT SOMEBODY THREW ME.

I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THIS.

I'M GONNA THINK I'M GOIN' HOME.

UH, NO, NO. YOU-YOU CAN'T GO.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I'VE INVITED

A WHOLE BUNCH OF
ADVERTISING CLIENTS OVER, HUH.

HEY.

I THINK IT'S THE MOST
WONDERFUL IDEA,

GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.

IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

I'VE BEEN CHECKING OUT
THE SHOWER PRESENTS.

WE'RE RAKING IN A
PRETTY GOOD HAUL.

OH, I BEGGED YOU NOT TO DO THIS.

OH, I KNOW, DEAR. AND
FORGIVE ME PLEASE.

BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
I'M A WEDDING JUNKIE.

AFTER ALL, YOU DID RUN
AWAY THE FIRST TIME.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO PLEASE DO JUST GIVE
ME THIS. I ASK SO LITTLE.

ALRIGHT... THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE NOT MAD.
- NO.

ABOUT THE WEDDING, CARMEN,

I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO
WEAR MY GRANDMOTHER'S DRESS.

BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO
BE A FORMAL WEDDING.

NOT FORMAL?

OH, DEAR, I AM NOT
SURE WE CAN HAVE THAT.

HERB!

HERB! HERB, HERB, HERB!

HERB!

I-I-I DON'T GET IT.

I TOLD 'EM TO DRESS PERIOD

YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY
DID 25 YEARS AGO.

I'M GONNA GET EVEN FOR
THIS, HERB, REMEMBER THAT.

WHAT'S A FRIEND FOR?

DO A FRIEND A FAVOR, ASK
FOR NOTHING IN RETURN, EH?

OH, OH!

SHE WANTS US TO BE
MARRIED AT THE CATHEDRAL.

A FULL HIGH MASS CEREMONY.

WE'RE NOT EVEN CATHOLIC.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.

EXCUSE ME, MRS. CARLSON,

BUT YOUR HUSBAND IS OUTSIDE

STANDING IN THE BUSHES.

HE'S ASKED ME TO ASK YOU

IF YOU'D CARE TO ELOPE WITH HIM.

- TO WHAT?
- TO ELOPE WITH HIM.

WELL, THANK YOU, HIRSCH.

OH, MRS. CARLSON, HAVE
A LOVELY HONEYMOON.

JUST AS WONDERFUL
AS THE FIRST ONE.

OH, THANK YOU. IT'S
JUST LIKE THE FIRST ONE.

AH! HA-HA!

MAY I PLEASE GET
YOU TWO SOMETHING?

ANYTHING AT ALL?

NO, THANK YOU.

WELL, I'D LIKE
ANOTHER DRINK PLEASE.

OH, GET IT YOURSELF, I'M BUSY.

CHANGED.

WELL, IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS.

YEAH, BUT IT WAS...

WAS SO NICE, SO CHARMING.

WELL, WANNA LEAVE?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

WE-WE SPENT OUR
FIRST HONEYMOON HERE.

WE'LL... WE'LL SPEND
THIS HONEYMOON HERE.

YEAH. I'LL JUST FRESHEN UP.

Carmen: ARTHUR, WHAT IS THAT?

OH, UH-UH, IT'S JUST,
UH, TELEVISION, HONEY.

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.

OH... WELL, OH...

ARTHUR, THERE'S A
MACHINE IN THE BATHROOM

THAT SELLS THINGS.

UH...

MAY-MAYBE YOU CAN'T GO BACK.

PERHAPS ANOTHER
MOTEL WOULD BE NICE.

WOULDN'T BE THE SAME.

IT WILL BE BETTER.

YEAH.

CARMEN...

I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY 25
YEARS AGO TO BUY THIS RING.

OH, ARTHUR.

- I STILL REMEMBER THE SIZE.
- OH.

IT-IT-IT-IT'S THE BED,
HONEY, UH, IT VIBRATES.

OH.

WELL, YOU WANT TO GO?

WELL, NOT UNTIL
THIS IS FINISHED.

WKRP IN CINCINNATI,

WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

HI, JENNIFER, HOW ARE THINGS?

YOUR MOTHER IS IN YOUR OFFICE.

MY MOTHER.

- HI, MOM.
- HELLO, ARTHUR.

I THINK I'LL JUST TAKE A LITTLE
STROLL AROUND THE BARRACKS.

- HOW YOU FEELIN', MOM?
- NOT WELL.

Arthur: OH.

I HAVE A BONE TO
PICK WITH YOU, ARTHUR.

I AM VERY ANGRY, NOT
TO MENTION EMBARRASSED.

WHY IS HERB HERE?

I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

YOU TELL HIM LATER.

YES, MA'AM.

UH, I JUST WANT TO SAY...

THAT I WENT TO A
GREAT DEAL OF TIME

AND TROUBLE TO
THROW YOU A PARTY.

AND YOU JUST
WALKED OUT, RAN AWAY.

AND NOW I UNDERSTAND

THERE'S NOT EVEN
GOING TO BE A WEDDING.

EVEN THOUGH I'VE
ALREADY ARRANGED

TO RENT A RED PLAID CRUSHED
VELOUR TUXEDO WITH TAILS.

JUST SHOWS WHAT I
GET FOR CARING SO MUCH.

THANKS A LOT, SIR.

YES, MOM?

NEVER MIND.