WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 2, Episode 23 - Venus Rising - full transcript

DARKNESS IS DESCENDING, AND
THE JOYS OF THE NIGHT ARE MANY,

AND WE'LL EXPERIENCE THEM
ALL TOGETHER, MY CHILDREN.

BUT FIRST, WE HAVE TO UNLEASH LES
NESSMAN ON YOU IN ABOUT A MINUTE OR SO.

TO HELP YOU GET READY FOR THAT,

HERE'S THE MUSICAL POETRY
OF BROTHER KENNY LOGGINS.

♪ THERE HAVE BEEN
TIMES IN MY LIFE ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN WONDERING WHY ♪

YOU STILL THERE? GOOD.

WELL, IT'S A VERY
FLATTERING OFFER,

BUT I'VE GOT TO TELL
YOU, I'M VERY HAPPY HERE.

SURE. YEAH. WE CAN TALK.
NO HARM IN THAT, HUH?



I'D APPRECIATE IT, THOUGH,
IF YOU'D KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL.

THANKS. OKAY.

TOMORROW AT NOON. FINE.

YEAH, THANKS. GOODBYE, NOW.

WELL? ARE YOU
GONNA TAKE IT OR NOT?

- TAKE WHAT?
- THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR'S JOB
AT WREQ.

HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT? I
JUST FINISHED TALKING TO THE GUY.

(chuckles)

I HEARD IT FROM THEIR
NEWS DIRECTOR. OW!

COME ON, VENUS, LET'S GO.

LES, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T
SAY ANYTHING TO ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.

YOU NEEDN'T WORRY
ABOUT ME, VENUS.

BESIDES, EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS.

- HOW COULD THEY?
- I TOLD THEM.



YOU LITTLE TWERP!

STICKS AND STONES,
VENUS, STICKS AND STONES.

♪ THIS IS IT ♪

♪ YOU MAKE THE CHOICE... ♪

♪ THIS IS IT ♪

♪ THE WAITING IS OVER ♪

♪ THIS IS IT ♪

♪ NO ONE CAN TELL
WHAT THE FUTURE ♪

♪ THIS IS IT ♪

AND NOW, PORKER'S
PARADISE SWEETMEAT TREATS,

PURVEYORS OF PORK-LIKE
PRODUCTS TO THE TRI-COUNTIES,

PROUDLY PRESENT...

LES NESSMAN AND THE NEWS.

(imitates teletype machine)

HELLO. THIS IS LES NESSMAN
WITH THE 7:00 P.M. NEWS.

THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN HEATS
UP AS CARTER-KENNEDY COFFEE KLATCH

CONCLUDES CLASH CONCERN
KANSAS CONVENTION CAUCUS.

BUT IN BUTTE, BUSH,
BAKER AND BROWN

BLAST BOUNTIFUL
BIG-BUSINESS BOOM.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER
THESE "MEEF BRESSAGES."

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪

MM. BOY.

"PORKER'S PARADISE
SWEETMEAT TREATS."

- (knock at door)
- COME IN.

OH, HI, TRAVIS.
THANKS FOR KNOCKING.

SOMEBODY GAVE ME A
HAM. BIG SUCKER, ISN'T IT?

- YEAH, I KNOW. I GOT ONE TOO.
- OH, YEAH?

MM-HMM. AS A MATTER OF
FACT, I THINK WE GOT 200 HAMS.

- THEY'RE IN THE STOREROOM.
- WHY?

WELL, I'LL LET THE MAN
RESPONSIBLE EXPLAIN.

YOU GUYS HEARD ABOUT
VENUS? HAVE YOU? HUH?

- TELL US ABOUT THE HAMS, HERB.
- VENUS HAS GOT SOME BIG NEWS.

THE HAMS.

OKAY.

SEE, I'VE BEEN CALLING ON
THE PORKER'S PARADISE PEOPLE

FOR ABOUT, I DON'T
KNOW, TWO YEARS NOW.

THEY JUST WOULD NOT
ADVERTISE ON WKRP.

SO I GOT TO
THINKING... (clicks tongue)

WHAT, JUST WHAT COULD I DO?

GOT AN IDEA. HOW
ABOUT A TRADE-OFF?

THEY BOUGHT IT.
NESSMAN'S GOT A SPONSOR,

AND WE'VE GOT A LOT OF HAM.

- IT'S GONNA SPOIL.
- NO, NO. NO, IT CAN'T,

YOU SEE, BECAUSE
THIS STUFF IS...

WELL, IT'S NOT
EXACTLY REAL MEAT.

WHAT IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

- BUT IT CAN'T SPOIL.
- GOOD GRIEF.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET
ANY RESPECT AROUND HERE.

(all arguing)

HI. I KNOW YOU
GUYS ARE VERY BUSY.

- CAN I INTERRUPT
JUST FOR A SEC?
- SURE.

WELL, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD,

SO I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW
I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET.

- AH, YOU HAVEN'T, HUH?
- NO, I'M JUST CONSIDERING IT.

- GOOD.
- I DIDN'T WANT YOU GUYS
TO FREAK OUT OR ANYTHING.

OKAY. WE WON'T.

- (Mr. Carlson chuckles)
- GOOD. THANKS.

NO, THANK YOU.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT YOU DID.

- I KNOW.
- WHAT?

VENUS GOT A JOB
OFFER FROM WREQ RADIO.

- WHAT KIND OF A JOB OFFER?
- PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE VENUS.

- CAN WE?
- NO.

THEN HE CAN'T LEAVE. WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TO COUNTER-OFFER.

- GET OUT THERE
AND GIVE HIM A TITLE.
- RIGHT.

LOOK, IF HE REALLY GETS
TOUGH, LET'S TALK PARKING SPACE.

WREQ RADIO... THAT'S A
PRETTY GOOD STATION, ISN'T IT?

YEAH. THEY, UH...
THEY MAKE MONEY

INSTEAD OF MEAT.

THAT CAN'T SPOIL.
DID I MENTION THAT?

WELL, I HEARD IT FROM LES.

HUH. I HEARD IT FROM
THE CLEANING WOMAN.

LES DATES THE CLEANING WOMAN.

HI.

HOW'S IT GOING?

NICE DAY TODAY, HUH?

SOME WOULD SAY IT WAS A LITTLE
CHILLY, BUT I THINK THAT'S NITPICKING.

SO, YOU'RE GONNA BE
A HOTSHOT P.D., HUH?

I JUST GOT A CALL, THAT'S ALL.

MM-HMM. AND YOU'RE LISTENING,

AND THEY'RE TALKING, AND YOU
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET, PAL?

HMM? YOU THINK ABOUT IT, HUH?

YOU KNOW? FINANCIAL SECURITY,

A PALATIAL HOME,
A BRIGHT FUTURE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE A BIG CAR

WITH A WINE CELLAR
IN THE GLOVE BOX,

MATCHING BRACELET AND NECKLACES

FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

THE WHOLE CASHMERE LIFESTYLE.

GORDON SIMS, YOUNG EXECUTROID.

YOU THINK ABOUT IT. IS
THAT WHAT YOU WANT, 'TRAP?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE
A PROGRAM DIRECTOR FOR?

VENUS, YOU ARE THE BEST
DEEJAY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

ONE OF THE BEST. THE
BEST NIGHTTIME DEEJAY.

- THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE ON THE AIR.
- THAT IS NIGHTTIME ONLY.

I'M NOT TALKING
MORNING MAN. OH, DEAR.

BESIDES, PROGRAM
DIRECTORS DO NOTHING.

THEY JUST SIT ON THEIR DUFFS.

MOST PROGRAM DIRECTORS. NOT ALL.

NOT ANDY TRAVIS HERE,
FOR INSTANCE. NO, SIRREE.

A VERY IMPORTANT JOB.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I SHOULD LEAVE.

THAT IS A GOOD
IDEA. I'M LEAVING NOW.

YEAH. UH-OH.

- MAY I TALK TO YOU
IN THE HALL?
- SURE.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT VENUS?

YEAH. DON'T WORRY, THOUGH.

HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

THEY'LL OFFER HIM MORE
MONEY, AND HE'LL STAY.

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.
THEY LOVE THE GUY.

WELL, I HOPE SO.

OH, HERB, BY THE WAY,
THANK YOU FOR THE HAM.

YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?

NO, I THINK SIX WILL BE PLENTY.

I'M GONNA KEEP ONE AND
GIVE THE REST TO MY MAILMAN.

HE HAS A BOMB SHELTER.

YOU KNOW, JENNIFER,

YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON
THAT'S THANKED ME.

NO ONE RESPECTS ME AROUND HERE.

OH, SURE, THEY DO.

NOPE. NO, THEY
DON'T. NO ONE DOES.

- THEY DO.
- WHO?

WELL...

FOR ONE, I DO.

REALLY?

- JENNIFER?
- WHAT?

I NEED A HUG.

A WHAT?

A HUG.

ANDY, I'M JUST GONNA
HAVE LUNCH WITH THE GUY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

- BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- PLEASE. SHOOT.

I JUST TURNED 30 LAST WEEK.
I'M NO KID NO MORE, MAN.

OH, MAN, I'M SORRY. I
FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY.

OH, NO PROBLEM, BUT IT
STARTED ME TO THINKING.

I WOULD'VE GOTTEN
YOU SOMETHING TOO.

IT'S OKAY, ANDY.

IT'S JUST THAT I TOOK A
LOOK AT MY WARDROBE,

AND I ASKED MYSELF, "DOES A
GROWN MAN DRESS LIKE THIS?"

I'VE GOT TO REMEMBER TO WRITE
THESE BIRTHDAYS DOWN ON MY CALENDAR.

IT'S OKAY, ANDY. IT'S JUST...

I'VE GOT TO START
THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE.

I CAN'T SPIN
RECORDS ALL MY LIFE.

AH... HEY, LOOK.

BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO ANYTHING,

TELL ME WHAT THE OFFER IS
AND GIVE ME A CHANCE TO BEAT IT.

- ALL RIGHT?
- IT'S A DEAL.

- OKAY.
- JOHNNY, YOU ARE THE BEST
DEEJAY IN THE COUNTRY.

ALL RIGHT, IN THE WHOLE WIDE
WORLD. THAT'S RIGHT. BAR NONE.

OH, GOD.

(phone ringing)

WREQ, THE RAMBLIN'
REQ IN CINCINNATI.

WELL, SO FAR, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- (whistles)
- BROTHER VENUS.

NICE.

- VERY NICE.
- AMANDA, HONEY,

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OUR
NEW PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

VENUS FLYTRAP, AMANDA DEAN.

HI. WELL, I HAVEN'T
QUITE ACTUALLY

MADE UP MY MIND,
BUT I'M BEGINNING TO.

IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU... MR. FLYTRAP, IS IT?

- SIMS. IT'S REALLY
GORDON SIMS.
- GORDON?

GORDON. (chuckles)

ON THE AIR, IT'S VENUS; HERE
NOW, JUST CHATTING, IT'S GORDON.

I LOVE IT.

SO, WHEN CAN YOU START?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. EVEN IF I...

AH, A WEEK. GIVE 'EM A
WEEK. THAT'S ALL THEY NEED.

- TWO WEEKS.
- TWO WEEKS IS FAIR.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M OUT
OF ORDER. TWO IS GOOD.

SO WHEN DO I SEE
THE OTHER DEEJAYS?

THE DEEJAYS? (chuckles)
"DEEJAYS," HE SAYS.

YEAH.

THERE'S BEEN A COUPLE OF CHANGES
THERE TOO. IT'S TOP-SECRET STUFF.

WE HAVEN'T EVEN
TOLD THE TRADES YET.

SEE, VENUS, WE ARE AUTOMATED.

JUST LIKE NASA. FIRST-CLASS
ACROSS THE BOARD.

AMANDA, HONEY,

WHY DON'T YOU LET VENUS SEE MAX?

SURE.

IT'S JUST LIKE THE WIZARD OF OZ.

WHAT'S THAT?

(music winds up, plays)

MAX IS OUR DISC JOCKEY.

24 HOURS A DAY. HE
PLAYS ALL OUR MUSIC.

YOU SEE, WITH YOU ON THE AIR EVERY
NIGHT, PEOPLE WILL STILL THINK WE'RE LIVE.

- AMANDA, HONEY,
COULD YOU TURN IT OFF?
- (Music turns off)

VENUS, THERE ARE ALREADY

1,500 AUTOMATED
STATIONS IN THIS COUNTRY.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU BUY
YOUR NEWS FROM A NATIONAL SERVICE,

YOU COULD RUN AN ENTIRE
STATION WITH NO PEOPLE?

NO PEOPLE... THINK OF THAT ONE.

IT'S AN UGLY THOUGHT,
BUT... THINK OF IT.

SO WHAT DO I DO AROUND HERE?

NOT MUCH.

THE MUSIC IS PROGRAMMED
OUT OF NEW YORK,

SO ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST TAPE A
COUPLE OF THINGS... INTERVIEWS AND SO ON...

SO THE PEOPLE WILL STILL THINK
IT'S ALL COMING OUT OF CINCINNATI.

AND THAT'S ABOUT
IT. IT'S PERFECT.

- (phone ringing)
- VENUS, JUST...

YOU SEE, MEGALO
COMMUNICATIONS IS A...

WELL, IT'S A GREAT
COMPANY TO WORK FOR.

THE OPPORTUNITIES ARE LIMITLESS.

WE'RE VERY PROUD OF OUR
AFFIRMATIVE ACTION PROGRAM.

- "AFFIRMATIVE ACTION"?
- HEY, HEY, HEY.

- YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?
- MR. REALLI, IT'S NEW YORK.

NEW YORK? A CALL FROM

THE LARGEST CITY IN
THE UNITED STATES?

I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.

WELL, VENUS,

JUST GIVE ME FIVE, AND THEN I
WANT YOU TO MEET THE SALESMEN.

14 OF THE MOST GUNG-HO GUYS THAT
YOU WOULD EVER WANT TO MEET, HUH?

Woman: ♪ MONEY DON'T
GET EVERYTHING, IT'S TRUE ♪

GOOD MORNING, DR. FEVER.

MORNING, NEWSMAN NESSMAN.

WHAT'S NEW?

"WHAT'S NEW"?

GET THIS.

"CINCINNATI CITY COUNCIL
CROSSES COUNTY COMMISSION

"IN CLANCY CAUSEWAY CONTROVERSY.

CONSEQUENTLY, CRITICAL
CAUCUS CANCELED CASUALLY."

CORRECT ME IF I'M
WRONG, LES, BUT, UH,

HAVE YOU DEVELOPED A RECENT
FONDNESS FOR ALLITERATION?

WELL, I'M TRYING TO
FIND A STYLE, JOHNNY.

ALL GOOD NEWSMAN
NOWADAYS HAVE TO HAVE A STYLE

IN ORDER TO STAND
OUT FROM THE CROWD.

LES, YOU ALWAYS HAD

A REAL STYLE OF YOUR OWN.

HOW MANY NEWSMEN CALL CHI-CHI
RODRIGUEZ "CHAI-CHAI RODRIGUEEZ"?

WHAT IS IT YOU CALL
LITTLE MEXICAN DOGS?

"CHI-HOOA-HOOAS."

THAT'S STYLE, LES.

HI, GUYS.

WELL, GUESS WHAT?

SOMEBODY ELSE AROUND HERE

HAS JUST GOTTEN A JOB OFFER.

WHO?

ME.

CHANNEL 71. I MET
WITH A GUY LAST NIGHT.

- NO KIDDING, HERB?
- NO KIDDING.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
CONGRATULATIONS.

THAT'S JUST REALLY GREAT.

HOW LONG ARE YOU
GONNA HANG AROUND HERE?

THERE'S NO REASON TO JUST
STAY HERE FOR NOTHING, RIGHT?

WE OUGHT TO, LIKE, THROW HIM

A GOING-AWAY PARTY
OR SOMETHING, I THINK.

CONGRATULATIONS. THAT'S
GREAT. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.

DROP US A CARD, OKAY?

WHAT KIND OF JOB IS IT, HERB?

SALES, NATURALLY.

AND FOR A SIZEABLE
INCREASE IN SALARY.

NOW, LISTEN TO ME, LES,

AND LISTEN TO ME CLOSELY...

DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS,

PARTICULARLY CARLSON OR TRAVIS.

- OKAY, I WON'T.
- AND, LES,

DON'T TELL THEM SOON.

HERB, YOU KNOW ME.

LIKE A BOOK.

- HEY, BAILEY, I NEED TO GET
YOUR ADVICE ON SOMETHING.
- IS IT ABOUT YOUR SUIT?

NOPE.

I'M SORRY.

NOW, LOOK.

THIS IS STRICTLY ON THE Q.T.

I DO NOT WANT YOU TO
TELL ANYONE, AND I MEAN IT.

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

LAST NIGHT, I DROPPED
BY CHANNEL 71

TO SEE MY OLD FRIEND,
FAST BOB MUSCHAMP

ABOUT A JOB OPENING,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE HAD ONE... ASSISTANT
SALES MANAGER,

AND FAST BOB OFFERED IT TO ME.

WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL,
HERB. ARE YOU GONNA TAKE IT?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I KNOW HOW UPSET EVERYONE GETS
AROUND HERE WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO QUIT.

NONSENSE, HERB. GRAB
IT. GO FOR THE BUCKS.

WE OUGHT TO HAVE
A PARTY, SOMETHING.

- YOU TOLD HIM?
- NO, I DIDN'T.

- AH?
- WELL, I MIGHT'VE
ALLUDED TO IT.

WELL, SOME HINT OF IT MIGHT HAVE
DROPPED OUT IN OUR GENERAL CONVERSATION.

- YES.
- WELL, PERHAPS MR. CARLSON

- COULD READ
BETWEEN THE LINES.
- COME IN.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST...

KIND OF FIND OUT STUFF.

OH, HECK!

HI, HERB.

HI, VENUS.

WELL, ARE YOU GONNA
TAKE THAT JOB OFFER?

I DON'T THINK SO.

THEY OFFERED YOU A LOT
OF MONEY TO STAY, HUH?

NO, I NEVER TALKED
MONEY WITH ANDY.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT
WREQ IS FULLY AUTOMATED?

AND YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY WANTED ME FOR?

SOME TOKEN BLACK ON
THEIR CORPORATE ROSTER.

I TOLD THEM TO STUFF IT,
MAN. I'M NOT TAKING THAT JOB.

AND TO PAINT MAX BROWN.
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, THEY WANTED TO
PAY ME JUST TO SIT AROUND

AND DO NOTHING BUT BE BLACK.

SOUNDS PERFECT TO ME.

DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD BE
INTERESTED IN TALKING TO A WHITE GUY?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I DID MEET A NICE LADY, THOUGH.

WELL, DID YOU, UH...

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MY JOB OFFER?

NO. YOU GOT A JOB OFFER?

OH, YEAH.

TELEVISION STATION.

I MARCHED RIGHT IN THERE
TO THE BIG GUY'S OFFICE

THINKING THAT MAYBE
HE WOULD TRY TO TOP IT.

BUT HE DIDN'T. HE JUST
CONGRATULATED ME

AND HE HUGGED ME
AND I THINK POSSIBLY

EVEN KISSED ME, I DON'T KNOW.

TOLD ME HOW PROUD
HE WAS OF ME AND SAID,

"I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A
BIG GOING-AWAY PARTY."

SOUNDS GREAT, HERB.

YEAH, IT DOES.

- EXCEPT THAT I WASN'T
QUITE HONEST WITH THE BIG GUY.
- YOU LIED ABOUT THE MONEY?

NO.

I LIED ABOUT THE JOB.

- THERE WAS NO OFFER.
- OH, HERB.

WELL, HELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE I
COULD GET A RAISE, YOU KNOW?

THEY WERE READY TO
OFFER YOU MORE MONEY,

BUT ALL I GET OUT OF IT IS...

I'M SORRY. I'M
S... I'M-I'M SORRY.

IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT AT ALL.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HERB?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- TELL HIM THE TRUTH, MAN.

OH, NO. NO, SIR.

CAN'T DO THAT.

EVERYBODY WOULD
LAUGH AT ME, AND...

AND THEN THEY'D KNOW
WHAT A REAL LIAR I AM.

NO, SIR. CAN'T DO IT.

AND YOU KNOW,

THE FUNNY PART ABOUT IT IS,
I... I CAN'T EVEN TELL MY WIFE.

SO WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MAN?

OH, I DON'T KNOW. HOME, I GUESS.

VENUS...

WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND DON'T TELL ANYBODY?

(scoffs) I WON'T. I PROMISE.

HERBERT R., YOU OLD DOG, YOU.

- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANKS, ANDY. IT'S, UH...

IT'S TELEVISION, YOU
KNOW? THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT.

YOU'VE GOT TO THINK
INTO THE FUTURE.

WELL, I CAN'T SAY AS I SHOULD
ARGUE WITH YOU ON THAT.

NO, SIR.

- EXCUSE ME.
- SURE THING.

ISN'T THAT SOMETHING?

YEAH, THAT'S
SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, TELL ME, HOW WAS LUNCH?

OH, UH, GOOD. VERY GOOD.

IT WAS INTERESTING.

HOW MUCH?

35,000.

WELL, YOU KNOW
WE CAN'T TOP THAT.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
HERE'S THE DEAL.

HE'LL GIVE YOU 2,000 MORE A YEAR

AND MAKE YOU ASSISTANT
PROGRAM DIRECTOR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? 2,000.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
ABOUT WREQ RADIO.

OKAY, LOOK... 2,500.

I'M TELLING YOU, MAN,
THAT'S AS HIGH AS WE CAN GO.

NOW, THAT'S ALMOST
WHAT JENNIFER MAKES.

ANDY, THERE'S MORE TO A
JOB THAN JUST MONEY, MAN.

2,600.

BUT THAT'S IT. NOW, I MEAN IT.

SURE, I'M A HARD MAN
TO GET ALONG WITH.

BUT IN THESE DAYS, HEY,
YOU'VE GOT TO BE TOUGH.

2,700?

HOW ABOUT 1,700?

I'M SORRY MAN. THAT'S ALL...

UH, AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?

NO.

HOLD IT. SEE,

YOU'RE GOING DOWN INSTEAD
OF UP. SEE, I WAS GOING UP.

I KNOW.

OH. WELL, IN THAT
CASE, HOW ABOUT 1,200?

1,700, WITH A CATCH.

WHAT?

THAT YOU OFFER TARLEK

A THOUSAND-DOLLAR
RAISE IF HE'LL COME BACK.

HERB?

YEAH, WE'RE A PACKAGE DEAL.

OH, YOU ARE?

YEAH, WE'RE SOUL BROTHERS.

HERB TARLEK, THE
GUY THAT SITS HERE?

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
LOOK. HERB TOLD CARLSON

THAT HE WAS GONNA
GET $10,000 MORE

EACH AND EVERY YEAR
AT THE TELEVISION STATION.

NOW, WHAT GOOD IS A
THOUSAND-DOLLAR RAISE?

YOU MAKE HIM

A THOUSAND-DOLLAR
OFFER NOW, HE'LL COME BACK.

SEE, HERB IS A...
A SPIRITUAL MAN.

HE'S NOT INTO THE
MATERIAL THINGS OF LIFE.

BLACK HAIR, FUNNY SUITS,
SHOES MATCH THE BELT.

- THAT'S THE GUY.
- ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

- THANKS, MAN.
- THANK YOU.

(snickering)

- WHAT?
- I CAN'T SAY.

COME ON. WHAT IS IT?

- WE GOT A DEAL, RIGHT?
- YEAH, SURE.

- BETWEEN YOU
AND HERB, - UH-HUH.

THAT'S 2,700.

I COULD HAVE GONE
AS HIGH AS 3,000.

- TOO SLICK FOR ME, TRAVIS.
- HEY, TELL ME ABOUT IT, RIGHT?

Man; WKRP IN CINCINNATI

WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

(mellow jazz plays)

HI, HERB.

HI.

UH, VENUS, I, UH...

HUH?

YOU WANT A HAM?

(rock music plays)

(man singing, indistinct)

(meows)