WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Doctor's Daughter - full transcript

ALL RIGHT, BABIES, IT'S 9:45

ON THE MIGHTY KRP IN CINCINNATI.

YOU'VE GOT THE DOCTOR. I'VE GOT
FRANKIE LYMON AND THE TEENAGERS

FROM 1956.

THEY'VE GOT A QUESTION
THAT STILL APPLIES.

♪ WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE? ♪

MORNING, JOHN BOY. LET'S TALK.

DON'T WANNA.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE EVERY TIME
YOU SAY, "LET'S TALK,"

WHAT YOU REALLY MEAN
IS, "LISTEN TO ME TALK."



NO, I DON'T. NOW, LISTEN TO ME.

I DON'T LIKE FORMULA RADIO
EITHER. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I HATE IT.

BUT, YOU SEE, WE'VE
GOT A PLAYLIST.

YOU SHOULD PLAY THE LIST. WE'VE
GOT TO PLAY SOME TOP-40 HITS, DON'T WE?

WHY, SURE, WE DO.

YET YOU HAVE YET TO PLAY

A SINGLE HIT OFF THE
PLAYLIST ALL WEEK.

PLAY THE PLAYLIST.

PLAY A PART OF THE PLAYLIST.

PLAY ONE SONG OFF THE PLAYLIST.

PLAY A PART OF ONE OF
THE SONGS OFF THE PLAYLIST.

WELL, IT'S SO NICE TO SEE WE'VE
ESTABLISHED A DIALOGUE HERE.

THERE YOU GO. IF YOU WANT
TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS,

I'LL BE IN MY OFFICE PLAYING
WITH A LOADED REVOLVER.



NICE TALKING WITH YOU, JOHN.

- HOW DO, HOW DO?
- HI.

JOHNNY, THERE'S A VERY
ATTRACTIVE LADY HERE TO SEE YOU.

DON'T KID ME,
JENNIFER. IT HURTS.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
SEE HER. RIGHT NOW.

HI.

DO I... KNOW YOU?

MM, YES.

BUT I WAS ONLY 12 AT THE TIME.

TWELVE?

I SWEAR, JENNIFER...

LAURIE?

- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU WERE COMING?
- I DID.

YOU SAID MAYBE. THAT
WAS TWO MONTHS AGO.

BUT THAT'S HOW LONG
IT TOOK ME TO GET HERE.

SEATTLE'S A LONG WAY FROM HERE.

OH, LAURIE.

HI, DADDY!

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪

ANYWAY, MOM SAID AS LONG
AS I LIVED UNDER HER ROOF...

YOU'D HAVE TO LIVE BY HER RULES.

I KNOW. SHE TOLD
ME THE SAME THING.

FINALLY IT GOT SO TENSE, I
JUST PACKED UP AND SPLIT.

WELL, YOUR MOTHER'S
A WONDERFUL WOMAN.

AND THE TERRIBLE THINGS
SHE'D SAY ABOUT YOU...

WELL, I JUST KNEW
YOU HAD TO BE PERFECT.

WELL, I WANTED TO VISIT YOU
MORE, LAURIE, BUT YOUR MOTHER...

HEY, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S OKAY. I MEAN,

THE CHECKS WERE ALWAYS THERE.

BESIDES, I'M 19 NOW, AND I'M
OLD ENOUGH TO COME TO YOU.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT BEING A FATHER.

WELL, I HOPE YOU AND I CAN
BE FRIENDS... JUST FRIENDS.

I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

WE CAN JUST DISPENSE WITH
ALL THE FATHER-DAUGHTER STUFF.

OKAY. WELL, WHAT
SHOULD I CALL YOU?

- HOW ABOUT "JOHNNY"?
- TERRIFIC.

OKAY. I'LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE.

- OKAY.
- ('50s rock plays)

♪ BO DIDDLEY, BO
DIDDLEY, HAVE YOU HEARD ♪

YOU PLAY GREAT STUFF, JOHNNY.

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S NOT PROGRAMMED.
I PLAY MY OWN STUFF, YOU KNOW?

THEY DON'T LIKE IT, BUT
THEY DON'T WANT ME TO QUIT.

BO DIDDLEY, PLAYING A TUNE
CALLED "BO DIDDLEY," AND WHY NOT?

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYBODY
WHO DOES IT BETTER.

OKAY, BABIES, WE GOT TIME
FOR JUST ONE TOP-40 HIT,

SO LET'S CHECK OUT THE
CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE.

UH-OH. NO MORE TIME.

MAYBE TOMORROW. IN
THE MEANTIME, STAY TUNED

FOR ALL THE NEWS WITH
LES NESSMAN AT 10:00.

Man: WHAT'S WORSE
THAN BATHTUB RING?

- COME ON. I'M GONNA
SHOW YOU AROUND THIS PLACE.
- OKAY.

- AM I ON?
- YOU'VE GOT 30 SECONDS, LES.

- OH, GOLLY.
- LES, I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY DAUGHTER, LAURIE.

- HI.
- SURPRISED, HUH?

- UH-HUH.
- LAURIE DROVE ALL
THE WAY CROSS-COUNTRY.

PAGE ONE... WHERE
IS IT? PAGE ONE.

ANYWAY, LES, LAURIE AND I
HAVE BUILT A NUCLEAR DEVICE.

- UH-HUH.
- AND, UH,

WE'RE GOING TO MURDER ALL THE
NEWSMEN IN CINCINNATI BEFORE WE USE IT.

WELL, YOU TWO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

WE KNEW WE COULD
COUNT ON YOU, LES.

- RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN.
- (dramatic news theme)

WITH LES NESSMAN.

THE TRIP WAS REALLY NEAT. I CAN'T
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE PICTURES.

NEITHER CAN I. BAILEY,

I WANT YOU TO MEET
MY DAUGHTER, LAURIE.

REALLY? OH!

WE HAVEN'T SEEN ONE
ANOTHER IN SEVEN YEARS.

WELL, I'LL BE DARNED!

OH, MY. YOU KNOW, SHE
DOES SORT OF LOOK LIKE YOU.

EXCEPT ON HER, IT WORKS. HI.

- HI, BAILEY.
- SHE'S ALL GROWN UP, HUH?

SHE SURE IS.

LET'S SEE. IF SHE'S, UH...

- HOW OLD?
- NINETEEN.

NINETEEN, THEN YOU'RE
PROBABLY... MY GOODNESS, YOU'RE..

- BAILEY'S A COLLEGE
GRADUATE, LAURIE.
- OH, YEAH?

- UH-HUH. YOU HIGH SCHOOL?
- Both: COLLEGE.

- SORT OF.
- SHE'S A FRESHMAN.

- UH, BEFORE I DROPPED OUT.
- WHAT?

WELL, I WASN'T LEARNING
ANYTHING IN SCHOOL,

SO I THOUGHT I'D GET OUT AND
TRAVEL AROUND FOR A WHILE.

MOM GOT REAL MAD.

YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.

THAT WAS FUNNY!

"I'D PLAY A HIT, BUT
I'M ALL OUT OF TIME."

I'M TELLING YOU, I LAUGHED
SO HARD, I DROPPED MY GUN.

I WAS GETTING READY TO SHOOT MYSELF.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, HUH?

- ANDY...
- WHY?

- I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
MY DAUGHTER, LAURIE.
- HUH? GO ON.

IT'S TRUE. THIS IS JOHNNY'S
DAUGHTER, LAURIE.

LAURIE, THIS IS ANDY TRAVIS.

WELL, HOW YOU DOIN'?

- I'M YOUR DAD'S BEST FRIEND.
- OH, THAT'S NICE.

COWABUNGA, UNCLE
BOB. WHO'S THE BROAD?

THIS IS MY DAUGHTER, HERB.

OH, REALLY? I'M SORRY.

(snickers)

HEY, SHE'S NOT REALLY
YOUR DAUGHTER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, I
WAS BORN YESTERDAY?

- YEAH, BUT SHE IS.
- REALLY?

- REALLY.
- (snickers)

HEY, LOOK, YOU
THINK I'M AN IDIOT?

HA!

LISTEN, YOU'LL HAVE
TO EXCUSE HERB.

- WHY?
- WELL, HERB'S NOT
THE KIND OF GUY...

THAT YOU WANT TO
GET INVOLVED WITH.

I KNOW THE TYPE.

YOU DO?

SURE.

GOOD. UH, LET'S GO
LOOK AT THE LOBBY.

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

- NICE MEETING YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- OH, ISN'T SHE TERRIFIC?
- SHE SURE IS.

- AND I'M HER OLD MAN.
- YEAH, WE GOT THAT.

MOM ALWAYS SAYS
I'M THE IMAGE OF YOU.

- IT DRIVES HER NUTS TOO.
- I LOVE IT.

- JENNIFER, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET MY DAUGHTER.
- LAURIE. WE'VE MET.

- WE HAVEN'T SEEN
ONE ANOTHER IN...
- SEVEN YEARS.

- IS A.C. IN HIS...
- OFFICE?

- NO, WHY DON'T YOU...
- GO IN THERE AND TALK?

- THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- Both: SEE YA.

HI THERE. HOLY...

I CARRY THE MOST ADVANCED LINE OF
OFFICE SUPPLIES IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE,

AND I HAVE A MEETING
WITH A MR. CARLSON.

- IMPOSSIBLE.
- IMPOSSIBLE? YOU WANT
TO TALK IMPOSSIBLE?

WE HAVE A STAPLE GUN HERE
THAT FIRES THROUGH CONCRETE.

WOW. THIS GUY CARLSON,

HE'S HEAVILY
INTO FISH, ISN'T HE?

YEAH, HE SURE IS.

YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO DO THAT?

- DO WHAT?
- SIT ON HIS DESK.

I'M NOT HURTING IT OR
ANYTHING. I WAS JUST BEING ME.

- I'LL GET OFF
IF YOU WANT ME TO.
- NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU SHOULD BE
YOU, I SHOULD BE ME.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I THINK THAT MY "ME"
WILL JOIN YOUR "YOU."

TERRIFIC.

SO HOW LONG ARE YOU HERE FOR?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M
COMPLETELY FREE.

WELL, YOU CAN
MAYBE GET A JOB HERE.

YOU COULD GO TO
SCHOOL HERE. WHO KNOWS?

WHO KNOWS?

YOU JUST SEEM ALL GROWN UP.

YOU DON'T.

THANKS.

ARE WE RELATING?

I THINK SO.

- ARE YOU DATING?
- I'VE MOVED IN WITH A GUY.

THAT RUINS MY NEXT QUESTION.

OKAY, SO, UH,

YOU DON'T TAKE DICTATION EITHER?

UH, WHAT ABOUT TYPING? WE'VE
DEVELOPED AN AEROSOL SPRAY

THAT ABSOLUTELY
OBLITERATES TYPOS.

- WHAT'S A TYPO?
- YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU NEVER MAKE MISTAKES?

NEVER.

- GOOD MORNING, JENNIFER.
- GOOD MORNING, MR...

MR. SMITH. MR. SMITH,

I'M AFRAID THAT MR. CARLSON

WON'T BE ABLE TO
SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.

HUH?

BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE
TO WAIT OVER THERE

WITH THAT OTHER SALESMAN...

OH. OH, OKAY, YEAH.

IF YOU'RE EXPECTING TO MEET
WITH THIS CARLSON CLOWN

ANYTIME THIS WEEK, YOU
MIGHT AS WELL SIT DOWN.

OKAY.

UH, REMEMBER, PAL, I
WAS HERE FIRST, HUH?

- UM, HE'S A POET.
- POET?

- AND AN ACTOR.
- TERRIFIC.

AND A HOUSEPAINTER.

I WOULD IMAGINE YOUR
MOTHER IS TERMINALLY THRILLED.

THAT'S ONE OF
THE REASONS I LEFT.

WELL, YOU'RE HERE NOW.

YEP. JUST YOU AND ME

- AND MY OLD MAN.
- YEAH.

WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK
YOU COUNTED ME TWICE.

NO, I DIDN'T.

YOU'RE MY FATHER,
AND JUSTIN'S MY OLD MAN.

- "JUSTIN"?
- WELL, YEAH.

HE'S ASLEEP IN THE VAN.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK THIS CARLSON GUY

IS PAYING HER FOR, HUH?

- OH, I KNOW YOU'RE
JUST GONNA LOVE HIM.
- UH, WHERE IS THE VAN?

OUT IN THE PARKING LOT. OH, JOHNNY,
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET HIM.

HE'S REALLY A MAN OF THE COSMOS.

SOUNDS LIKE A FUN GUY.

CARLSON WAS MEETING WITH THOSE
TWO? WHAT KIND OF A CREEP IS THIS GUY?

OH-OH. BIG ONE.

HEY, I'M NEXT.

- (door shuts)
- WHO DOES THAT GUY
THINK HE IS?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- (intercom buzzes)

YES, SIR?

YES, SIR.

MR. CARLSON WILL SEE YOU NOW.

RIGHT. NOW WE'RE GETTING
SOMEWHERE. WATCH THIS.

OH, I'D LOVE TO.

WELL, HERE'S HOME.

OH, JOHNNY, I LOVE IT!

JUST DROP YOUR LUGGAGE ANYWHERE.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS SO
MUCH LIKE I'D PICTURED IT.

SO MUCH. OH, GOD.

MOM WOULD HATE THIS PLACE.

- YEAH.
- YEAH, IT'S FAR OUT, MAN.

THANK YOU, JUSTIN.

UH, IT'S KIND OF A DUMP,

BUT, UH, I TRY TO KEEP IT NEAT.

HEY, MAN,

THERE'S, LIKE,
MOLD IN THIS GLASS.

THAT'S AN EXPERIMENT I'VE
BEEN WORKING ON, JUSTIN.

WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T WASH THAT GLASS.

IT CAN'T BE. IT CAN'T BE.

WHAT?

IS THIS YOU AND MICK JAGGER?

OH, IT WAS TAKEN
A LONG TIME AGO.

HUH. YOU ARE A GREAT MAN!

WELL, THANK YOU.

I HARDLY KNOW THE GUY. HE
JUST DROPPED BY THE STATION.

HEY, THAT'S FAR OUT, MAN.

HEY, YOU KNOW,
MAN, I PLAY GUITAR.

YOU THINK LIKE MAYBE
YOU COULD SPEAK TO MICK.

I MEAN, KEITH RICHARDS CAN'T
LAST FOREVER. AM I RIGHT?

I'LL, UH... I'LL SPEAK
TO MICK TOMORROW.

WE'RE GOING SWIMMING TOGETHER.

HEY, THANKS, MAN.

SO, UH, WHAT DO
YOU TWO WANT TO DO?

- HEY, LET'S GET HIGH.
- OH, SURE.

WELL, UH, WHY DON'T WE
UNPACK? WE COULD DO THAT FIRST.

- SURE.
- OKAY. LIKE,
WHERE'S THE BEDROOM?

LIKE, YOU'RE ON IT.

I FIGURED LAURIE
COULD SLEEP IN THE BED,

AND I COULD SLEEP OVER HERE.

WE CAN'T TAKE YOUR BED.

"WE"? YOU... JUSTIN...

WELL, YOU'VE GOT TWO BEDROLLS.
WE COULD PUT THEM HERE.

JOHNNY... WE'RE MARRIED.

OH. GOOD.

AND BAD. UH... MARRIAGE
IS GOOD AND BAD.

- ON OUR WAY FROM SEATTLE.
- YEAH?

WE STOPPED AT
YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK.

WE FOUND THIS PRETTY
PLACE WHERE WE

STOOD AND HELD
HANDS, AND I SAID,

"JUSTIN, YOU ARE NOW FORMALLY

MY OLD MAN FOREVER."

YEAH, IT WAS FAR OUT, MAN.

WE DID IT RIGHT IN
FRONT OF OLD FAITHFUL.

(goofy chuckle)

THERE WAS NO MINISTER
PRESENT OR ANYTHING?

Both: NAH!

SO IT'S NOT REALLY LEGAL.

Both: NAH!

WELL, YOUR LOVE IS
WRITTEN ACROSS THE SKY.

OH, MAN, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OUR LOVE WAS WRITTEN
ACROSS THE SKY.

JUSTIN, YOU KNOW,
CLOSE YOUR EYES,

YOU COULD PROBABLY
SEE THE STARS.

FAR OUT.

LOOK, WHY DON'T WE
GET SOMETHING TO EAT?

I KNOW A GREAT PIZZA
JOINT. WE COULD EAT,

WE COULD COME BACK HERE
AND RAP ALL NIGHT LONG.

- AND WE CAN TAKE
THE VAN. OKAY?
- OKAY. OKAY.

JUSTIN...

JUSTIN, YOU CAN
OPEN YOUR EYES NOW.

FAR OUT.

HEY, MAN, LIKE,
I'M A VEGETARIAN.

WE'LL ORDER YOU SOME CRUST.

NOW, LET'S SEE. THERE'S THE
CONCORDE 300 DICTATING MACHINE.

YEAH, I GOT THAT. AND THE, UH...

UH, THE MACH II CALCULATOR.

GOT THAT. AND THE, UH...

AH, THE STAPLE
GUN. HMM, GOT THAT.

THAT'S ABOUT IT. (chuckles)

THROUGH CONCRETE, HUH?

MORNING, A.C.

- LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT A KID.
- MM-HMM.

UH, WHAT ARE YOU
THEORIES OF CHILD-REARING?

WELL, PRAY FOR THE BEST
AND INSURE EVERYTHING.

WHAT ABOUT AFTER
THE CHILD IS GROWN UP?

WHEN'S THAT?

SAY, 18 OR 19.

- OH, THAT'S GROWN UP?
- I THINK SO.

I'M NOT SURE I DO.

- MR. CARLSON?
- HMM?

"YOUR SAFE WILL BE
DELIVERED AT 4:00."

HA-HA! HOT DOG!

WELL, I-I NEED A SAFE.

JENNIFER, UH, WHAT WERE
YOU DOING WHEN YOU WERE 19?

SOME THINGS.

WHY?

WELL, WHAT I MEAN IS,
WERE YOU FULLY GROWN?

I MEAN... MATURE.

UH, WERE YOU AN ADULT?

WELL, I CERTAINLY WAS. I'VE
BEEN ON MY OWN SINCE I WAS 17.

- YEAH?
- MM-HMM.

WERE YOU PALS WITH YOUR PARENTS?

WELL, I WAS WITH MY MOTHER.

SO EVERYTHING THAT YOU DID

WAS OKAY WITH
HER AND VICE-VERSA?

UH-HUH.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY TURNED
OUT PERFECTLY, IF I MAY SAY SO.

YOU MAY.

- UH, JENNIFER?
- HMM?

WHEN DO YOU THINK A
PERSON'S ALL GROWN UP?

DON'T WORRY, MR. CARLSON.
YOU'LL GET THERE.

AND THEN... (seethes) THEN...

EVERY TIME I THINK
ABOUT I JUST...

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! IT
WAS JUST UNBELIEVABLE!

I SEE. THANK YOU, BAILEY.

'TRAP, HOW DID YOU GET
ALONG WITH YOUR DAD?

OH, BETTER THAN THAT.

I DIDN'T SEE HIM MUCH. MY
PARENTS WERE DIVORCED.

MM. AND I BET HE FELT GUILTY.

YEAH, I THINK SO.

BUT JOHNNY... IS GONNA
MAKE UP FOR THAT

BECAUSE HE'S GONNA GIVE LAURIE ALL
THE FREEDOM THAT SHE EVER NEEDED.

- RIGHT.
- HOW MUCH FREEDOM?

- WELL...
- AS FAR AS HE'S CONCERNED,

- SHE IS AN ADULT.
- RIGHT.

OKAY. AND WHAT IF SHE WANTS TO
EXPERIMENT WITH A LOT OF HARD DRUGS?

WELL, MY...

DO YOU THINK HIS
DAUGHTER IS STUPID?

NO, I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

I'LL BET YOU'D BE A
REALLY STRICT FATHER.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT,
AS LONG AS IT'S TEMPERED WITH LOVE.

PARENTS GOT TO START
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.

- RIGHT. MY VIEW ON THAT...
- PEOPLE HAVE RIGHTS

BEFORE 21, AS WELL AS AFTER.

- RIGHT THE WAY I SEE IT...
- LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

- CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
- WOULD YOU PLEASE
STAY OUT OF THIS?

- HE'S TALKING TO ME.
- I'M SORRY.

WHAT IF YOU HAD A DAUGHTER,

AND SHE WAS GONNA
MARRY... AN IDIOT?

WHAT THEN?

OOH.

GEE. I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, JOHNNY?

SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER.

- WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE ZOO?
- HI, JOHNNY.

- HI. HOW'S IT GOING?
- FINE. YOU WANT
SOME BREAKFAST?

NO, I ALREADY HAD LUNCH.

YOU GOT ANY CLOTHES
ON UNDER THERE?

YEAH, YEAH, SURE,
MAN. SEE? TAKE IT EASY.

- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- NO PROBLEM.

YOUR OLD MAN'S UPTIGHT BECAUSE HE
THINKS WE'VE BEEN IN THE SACK TOGETHER.

- BUT JUSTIN'S MY OLD MAN.
- RIGHT. I FORGOT.

YOU ARE UPTIGHT. WHY?

BECAUSE I'M YOUR
FATHER, THAT'S WHY.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU
WERE MY FRIEND FIRST.

SO DO I, BUT IT TURNS OUT
IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

POWER TRIP.

JUSTIN...

LOOK, LAURIE, I DON'T
CARE WHAT YOU DO

IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES,
BUT HERE IT'S DIFFERENT, SEE?

FINE. GOOD. LET'S GO TO
SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE.

CALL WHEN YOU GET THERE.

THIS IS UNREAL.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
WHEN YOU WERE 19, THAT...

NO, WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT ME, HONEY.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU.

AND AS LONG AS
YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE,

WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE SOME RULES.

- OH, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
- I KNOW. I'M SORRY.

ALSO SOUNDS LIKE A
GOOD TIME TO SPLIT.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, JUSTIN.

LAURIE CAN SLEEP IN THE BED,
YOU AND I CAN SLEEP OVER HERE.

NO WAY, MAN. LIKE,
UH-UH. FORGET IT.

OKAY, THEN SPLIT.

YOU GOT IT, MAN. YOU GOT IT.

- JUSTIN...
- LOOK, LAURIE,

I'M GONNA GO PACK UP THE VAN.

YOU WANT TO BE FREE, I'LL
SEE YOU IN FIVE MINUTES.

YOU WANT TO SUFFOCATE HERE,

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

JUSTIN, WHAT ARE YOU D...

THAT'S OUR FIRST FIGHT
SINCE MOUNT RUSHMORE.

I'M SORRY.

LAURIE, IS IT WHAT YOU WANT?

YOU WANT TO JUST
DRIFT, WITH NO DIRECTION?

YOU WANT TO FIND YOURSELF
WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

WHEN YOU'RE 41?

I GOT TO GET GOING.

WHY? YOU COULD STAY HERE.

YOU COULD GO TO
SCHOOL HERE. YOU COULD...

- BE YOUR PAL?
- YEAH.

AND MY DAUGHTER.

I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT GONNA LIVE
UNDER ANYBODY ELSE'S RULES BUT MY OWN.

- YOU'RE JUST A KID.
- I AM NOT!

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE NOT.

IF YOU WERE ANYBODY ELSE,
LAURIE, MAYBE THEN WE COULD...

WE COULD BE FRIENDS, BUT, UH,

YOU'RE... YOU'RE NOT.

I KNOW.

BUT I STILL HAVE TO GO.

THAT'S YOUR RIGHT.
I WON'T STOP YOU.

- THANKS FOR
EVERYTHING, JOHNNY.
- "DADDY."

DADDY.

I'M SORRY THINGS DIDN'T
WORK OUT ANY BETTER.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

UH...

IF YOU EVER COME TO
THE REALIZATION THAT

JUSTIN'S, LIKE, A JERK,

WELL, I JUST HOPE YOU'LL
DROP BACK BY HERE.

I WILL.

OKAY.

GOODBYE.

I'LL PROBABLY SEE YOU
IN ABOUT A WEEK, HUH?

Man: WKRP IN CINCINNATI

WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

♪ WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
12:00 WE'LL COOL OUT, THEN ♪

Laurie's voice: DEAR
JOHNNY DR. DADDY.

HELLO FROM PHILADELPHIA.

I'M STAYING WITH AUNT LEILA AND
UNCLE FRANK FOR A FEW WEEKS.

THEN I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN
ON MY WAY BACK TO SEATTLE.

I THOUGHT I'D BE GOING
BACK TO SCHOOL FOR A WHILE

SINCE JUSTIN HAS DECIDED...

(song ends with flourish)

(steady rock beat)

SINCE JUSTIN HAS DECIDED TO
BECOME A SALES AND MARKETING...

SINCE JUSTIN HAS DECIDED TO
BECOME A SALES AND MARKETING TRAINEE

FOR ARROW'S OWN
INDUSTRIAL TUBING.

JUSTIN SAYS TUBING
IS WHERE IT'S AT.

WHAT A JERK.

LOVE, LAURIE.

THAT'S A HIT!

(sputtering) HE'S PLAYING A HIT!

A HIT! HEY,
EVERYBODY! IT'S FEVER!

HEY! HEY, IT'S FEVER!

(rock music plays)

(man singing, indistinct)

(meows)