WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 1, Episode 4 - Hoodlum Rock - full transcript
In an attempt to relate to the new rock audience, WKRP books an up and coming British hoodlum rock band called "Scum of the Earth" to play in Cincinnati. Things get crazy when the staff discovers the band members are out-of-control on and off the air and eventually threaten to not perform. Incidentally, the difference between hoodlum rock and punk rock??? Punk rockers dress deplorably and don't physically attack their audience.
WEATHER TODAY IN THE
GREATER CINCINNATI AREA...
♪ I LOVE YOU SO
BADLY I COULD... ♪
THEY'RE SOLID PLASTIC, SO
DON'T SETTLE FOR IMITATION...
BUT THE SENATOR, WHILE
INSISTING HE WAS NOT INTOXICATED,
COULD NOT EXPLAIN HIS NUDITY.
♪♪
♪♪
♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪
♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪
♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪
- GOOD MORNING, JENNIFER.
- OH, HI, ANDY. HOW'S IT GOING?
FINE. GREAT DAY.
MESSAGES? MM-HMM.
ANDY, I TRIED TO CATCH YOU
AT THE ELEVATOR DOWNSTAIRS.
I'M SORRY, LES. I
DIDN'T SEE YOU.
YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT THUMP
JUST AFTER THE DOORS CLOSED?
- YEAH, I DID HEAR THAT.
- WELL, THAT WAS ME.
OH. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
- WERE YOU LISTENING TO JOHNNY
AS YOU DROVE IN THIS MORNING?
- SURE.
WELL, HE'S DOING BOGUS NEWS REPORTS,
ANDY. THAT'S VERY DANGEROUS, YOU KNOW.
WELL, LIKE WHAT?
WELL, HE'S TELLING LISTENERS THERE'S
THIS THING CALLED A CINCINNATI TRIANGLE.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE,
EXCEPT IT RUNS FROM CINCINNATI,
UP TO DAYTON, OVER
TO COLUMBUS AND BACK.
HE'S REPORTING THAT THINGS HAVE BEGUN
TO DISAPPEAR FROM THE CINCINNATI TRIANGLE.
- WHAT KIND OF THINGS?
- WELL, SO FAR,
TWO RECREATIONAL
VEHICLES AND WOODY HAYES.
LES, I DON'T THINK ANYONE IN THEIR
RIGHT MIND WOULD BELIEVE THAT ONE.
- THAT'S, UH... THAT'S A JOKE.
- OH.
IS IT FUNNY?
- WELL, I THINK IT'S FUNNY. JENNIFER?
- OH, YEAH. SO DO I.
OH, I SEE.
THAT DARN JOHNNY.
WHAT A CARD.
OH, TRAVIS. JUST THE
MAN I NEED TO SEE.
WOULD YOU GET IN HERE, PLEASE?
SURE THING, MR. CARLSON.
LET ME PUT MY THINGS AWAY.
HI. HEAR THE NEWS?
WOODY HAYES IS MISSING.
WHO IS WOODY HAYES?
WHO'S WOODY HAYES?
ONLY THE FAMOUS OHIO STATE FOOTBALL
COACH. BOY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
OUT WITH OTHER MEN, HERB,
LETTING THEM HAVE THEIR WAY WITH ME.
DON'T SAY THAT,
JENNIFER. IT'S TRUE, HERB.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
ELSE? NO, I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.
ANDY'S DONE A LOT OF NICE...
ANDY. MEET STEVE PIEVY.
HELLO, MR. PIEVY.
HELLO, YOUNG MAN.
STEVE HERE IS ONE OF MY OLDEST
AND DEAREST FRIENDS. OH, THAT'S NICE.
- GUESS WHAT ELSE. HE'S A CONCERT PROMOTER.
- OH, YEAH?
THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVEN'T
BEEN TOO ACTIVE LATELY,
BUT SHOWBIZ IS IN MY BLOOD
AND I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT OUT.
ANDY, THIS MAN CAN TELL
YOU SOME WILD STORIES.
I COULD TELL YOU
SOME WILD STORIES.
TELL ONE. NAH.
OH, COME ON. NAH.
MR. CARLSON, DID YOU WANT TO
SEE ME FOR ANY PARTICULAR REASON?
OF COURSE I DID. I ALWAYS WANT
TO SEE YOU FOR A REASON, TRAVIS.
THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME JERRY VALE
SWALLOWED A BUG AT THE STARLIGHT THEATER.
- NOT NOW, STEVE.
- FLEW RIGHT DOWN THIS THROAT.
STEVE. LOOK, TRAVIS,
YOU'VE... ALWAYS TALKIN'
ABOUT HOW WE NEED
TO PROMOTE A CONCERT?
- UH, YEAH. I'M WORKIN' ON THAT.
- WELL, I'M GONNA HELP YOU,
BECAUSE THIS MAN HAS
BOOKED SOME OF THE
BIGGEST ACTS IN SHOW
BUSINESS IN CINCINNATI.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND THEY'RE
ALWAYS IN THE BEST OF TASTE.
WELL, I'M SURE HE HAS, MR. CARLSON, BUT
WE NEED A BAND THAT PLAYS ROCK AND ROLL.
JUST A SECOND. STEVIE PIEVY
HERE BOOKS ALL KINDS OF ACTS.
THAT'S RIGHT. THEY DON'T CALL ME
MR. ENTERTAINMENT FOR NOTHING.
OH, DEAR. MY PIE
HAS BEEN SQUISHED.
JUST TELL US WHAT YOU
GOT. HOW ABOUT A BEAR ACT?
I DON'T THINK SO.
THEY WEAR TUTUS.
LOOK, IF YOU GOT ANY MUSICAL
ACTS... WELL, LET ME SEE.
I STILL BOOK CHUCK PARKER
AND HIS MOUNTED VIRGINIANS.
HEY, LISTEN, TRAVIS.
THERE'S A WINNER FOR YA.
- I-IT'S A DIXIELAND BAND
THAT PLAYS ON HORSEBACK.
- OH, HORSEBACK.
NO, WE NEED A BAND THAT'S GONNA GO
ALONG WITH OUR ROCK-AND-ROLL FORMAT.
YECH. I DO HAVE ONE ACT.
THEY MUST BE A ROCK-AND-ROLL
BAND. THEIR NAME'S SCUM OF THE EARTH.
YOU BOOK SCUM? NOT AS A RULE.
THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?
WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS A
HOT NEW GROUP IN ENGLAND.
AND THEY'RE STARTING
AN AMERICAN TOUR.
I COULD GET THEM FOR YOU.
THEIR PRICE CERTAINLY IS RIGHT.
- IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL
YOUR JUNK ROCK?
- UH, "PUNK." PUNK ROCK.
PUNK, JUNK... IT'S ALL THE SAME. LOOK,
I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE BEARS.
MR. PIEVY, WHY DON'T YOU AND I
DISCUSS THE DETAILS IN MY OFFICE?
OH, WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE
FAST ON THIS, ANDREW.
WELL, LET'S GET RIGHT ON IT. OH,
GOOD. I LIKE IT WHEN IT GETS EXCITING.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS.
LOOK, IS THIS GONNA BE TASTEFUL?
IT'S GONNA BE JUST THE THING
THAT WE'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR.
I'LL BE DIPPED IN SHELLAC.
NO, NO, NO, NO. LISTEN. NO.
PARKING IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
THAT COMES UNDER
"AUDITORIUM SECURITY."
WELL, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO
TALK TO MR. PIEVY ABOUT THAT.
OKAY. YEAH, THANKS A LOT.
UH, HI THERE, TRAVIS. WELL,
GOOD MORNING, MR. CARLSON.
OH, BY THE WAY, I SOLD ALL THE
PROGRAM ADS. OH, HI, BIG GUY.
HI. UH, LISTEN, TRAVIS.
WORD'S OUT THAT... THIS
BAND DOES SOME CRAZY THINGS.
NOW, I-I KNOW THAT I'M NOT,
UH... I'M NOT KNOWN AS A HIP GUY.
- HEY, ANDY. HOW'S THIS FOR THE SHOW?
- THAT IS PERFECT.
GOOD. I BEEN WANTIN' TO WEAR
THIS DOG. WHAT'S HAPPENIN', MAN?
UH, VENUS IS EMCEEING THE SHOW.
OH, YEAH. REAL GOOD. UH...
Y-YOU KNOW, ANDY, THERE ARE TWO
REASONS THAT I-I DON'T WANNA DO THIS THING.
NUMBER ONE...
THERE'S MONEY IN HERE.
SURE. LOT OF IT.
SEVEN BUCKS A TICKET.
I'M SORRY, MR. CARLSON. WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO, UH, TALK TO ME ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING.
N-NOTHING AT ALL. UH...
EXCEPT JUST DON'T YOU FORGET WHOSE
IDEA THIS WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE, OKAY?
THERE. HOW DOES THAT LOOK?
IT'S POETRY.
GOOD GRIEF.
ISN'T SOMETHING LIKE
THAT AN INVITATION FOR
ALL THE WORST SORT OF
PEOPLE TO COME IN HERE?
LES, THAT'S THE NAME
OF AN ORCHESTRA.
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THE ON-THE-AIR
PROMOTION SPOTS WE'VE BEEN RUNNING?
YES, BUT I THOUGHT
THAT WAS ALL JUST A JOKE.
- IT IS, LES.
- I THOUGHT SO.
- IT'S DARN FUNNY TOO.
- IT'S DARN FUNNY.
ISN'T THIS EXCITING,
MR. CARLSON?
YEAH, IT CERTAINLY IS.
YEAH, OUR FIRST CONCERT.
I MEAN, THE FIRST CONCERT
WE'VE HAD SINCE WE'VE GONE ROCK.
AND WE SOLD OUT TOO.
COURSE, IT'S NOT A VERY BIG AUDITORIUM.
BUT STILL, I THINK IT'S VERY EXCITING.
WHO'S SHE?
BAILEY QUARTERS. SHE WORK HERE?
UH-HUH. I LIKE HER.
I KNOW. YOU SAY THAT
EVERY TIME YOU MEET HER.
I DO? HEY, BIG GUY.
HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD A SCUM RECORD?
THIS MAY AMAZE YOU,
HERB, BUT, UH, NO.
WELL, I WROTE DOWN THE LYRICS TO ONE
CALLED "LOVE IS MURDER." YOU WANNA HEAR IT?
WHAT CHOICES DO I HAVE? YEAH.
"LOVE IS MURDER, MURDER IS LOVE.
"I'M A ROCK-AND-ROLL HOODLUM
WITH A BLACK LEATHER GLOVE.
KNOCK ME DOWN, BABY.
STEP ON MY FACE." OH.
"I'M A... ""I'M A FOOL FOR YOU,
BABY. LET'S BLOW UP THIS PLACE."
KINDA CATCHY, HUH?
I'VE NEVER LET PAYOLA
INFLUENCE MY RECORD SELECTION.
ANDY, MR. PIEVY FINALLY CALLED
FROM THE AIRPORT. SCUM IS ON ITS WAY.
WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC. TERRIFIC?
THOSE PEOPLE WRITE
MUSIC ABOUT EXPLOSIONS.
MR. CARLSON, I'VE BEEN TRYIN' TO
TELL YOU THIS. THEY'RE MUSICIANS.
ALL THAT'S JUST A GIMMICK. YOU GOT NOTHIN'
TO WORRY ABOUT. I GOTTA GO CHECK ON VENUS.
JOHNNY, IS THAT TRUE? WHAT?
THAT I'VE GOT NOTHIN' TO
WORRY ABOUT. NO, IT'S NOT.
HELLO. WE'RE THE
SCUM OF THE EARTH.
- NO.
- YES.
HUH? MMM.
HUH. LISTEN, DR. FEVER. THIS IS
MARVEL... THESE GUYS ARE WONDERFUL.
COATS, TIES, THE WHOLE...
WELCOME ABOARD, FELLAS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
- ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SCUM?
POSITIVE.
WELL, OF COURSE THEY
ARE. WHERE IS MR. PIEVY?
HE GOT OUT OF THE CAR. THAT'S
THE LAST WE SAW OF HIM, I THINK.
WAS THE CAR MOVING
WHEN HE GOT OUT?
YES, I... I BELIEVE IT WAS.
WH-WHY WOULD HE
DO A THING LIKE THAT?
WE DON'T KNOW, BUT THAT'S OUR
STORY AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT.
YEAH, THESE ARE THE GUYS.
STRAY CAT ♪
♪♪
COME RIGHT ON IN HERE,
GUYS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU.
NOW THIS IS VENUS FLYTRAP. HE'S
GONNA BE DOING THE INTERVIEWING.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? HELLO.
MR. FLYTRAP. HOW
ARE YOU? I'M FINE.
HEY. HOW DO YOU DO?
ANYTHING PARTICULAR YOU
GUYS WANNA RAP ABOUT?
NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN ASK
US ANYTHING YOU LIKE.
WE'RE JUST DELIGHTED TO BE HERE.
WELL, HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
TEA WOULD BE LOVELY. YES.
YOU GOT IT.
OKAY, FELLAS. HERE WE GO.
OH, ANYTIME. THIS
IS SO EXCITING.
♪♪
THAT WAS SCUM OF
THE EARTH'S NEW HIT,
AND NOW LET'S RAP TO THESE
HEAVY DUDES HERE, LIVE IN PERSON.
THIS IS VENUS FLYTRAP,
ONE-ON-ONE WITH SCUM.
- WELCOME TO CINCINNATI, GUYS.
- WE HATE CINCINNATI.
- HUH?
- WE DON'T LIKE
THIS STUDIO MUCH EITHER.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
INTRODUCE YOURSELVES?
VERY WELL. I'M
BLOOD, THIS IS NIGEL,
AND THIS IS SIR
CHARLES WEATHERBEE.
HE ANSWERS TO "DOG."
OKAY. LET'S START WITH DOG.
UM, WHERE DID YOU
THREE FIRST MEET?
WHERE DID WE MEET? HOW BORING.
SAME OLD QUESTIONS WHEREVER WE GO.
YES, BUT THIS IS
PARTICULARLY BORING.
NO ONE SHOULD HAVE
TO HEAR THIS NONSENSE.
I WOULD SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LISTENING
TURN TO ANOTHER RADIO STATION IMMEDIATELY.
YEAH.
YOU DUDES LIKE TO... LIKE TO
KID AROUND A LOT, DON'T YOU?
HEEL!
MAY I SAY HELLO TO MY MOTHER?
YOUR MAMA LIVE IN CINCINNATI?
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS
A CHANCE, ISN'T THERE?
HELLO, MUMMY. YOU NAUGHTY GIRL.
DON'T COME HOME IF YOU
KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
LOOK, TURKEYS. YOU WANNA SHAPE
UP, OR YOU WANT ME TO
PUT ON ANOTHER RECORD?
WE'RE SO SORRY. PLEASE.
YES. WE APOLOGIZE.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK DOG
ABOUT HIS MUSICAL TRAINING?
OKAY.
SORRY, GANG. WE HAD A
SLIGHT TECHNICAL PROBLEM.
WE'RE NOW BACK LIVE WITH SCUM.
OKAY, DOG, UH, TELL US ABOUT
YOUR FORMAL MUSICAL TRAINING.
I HAVE NONE.
CAN'T READ A BLOODY NOTE.
- BUT I GOT A DEGREE IN CELLO
AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY.
- OH, YEAH?
I DON'T PLAY TOO MUCH ANYMORE. YOU CAN'T
GET THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING TEENAGE GIRLS...
TO COME TO A CELLO
RECITAL, NOW, CAN YOU?
AND WE RATHER
LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS.
NOW I THINK I KNOW HOW
PUNK ROCK GOT ITS NAME.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE NOT
A PUNK ROCK GROUP.
NO, PUNK ROCK IS PASSÉ.
WE PLAY HOODLUM ROCK.
- IT'S SEVERAL CUTS
BELOW PUNK ROCK.
- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, PUNK ROCK
GROUPS DRESS DEPLORABLY.
AND SECONDLY, THEY DON'T USUALLY
PHYSICALLY ATTACK THEIR AUDIENCES.
- AND YOU DUDES DO?
- COME TO THE SHOW
AND FIND OUT.
WE DON'T LIKE AUDIENCES.
- HEY, AREN'T THEY NICE?
- NICE? LOOK WHAT
THEY DID TO STEVE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
THEY THREW HIM LOCK, STOCK AND...
BRIEFCASE RIGHT OUT OF THE LIMOUSINE.
ONE OF 'EM ASKED ME WHAT TIME IT
WAS, AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW,
THIS OTHER ONE SAID,
"WELL, THAT'S IT FOR HIM."
THOSE PEOPLE ARE
THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE VERY POLITE
BOYS. BUT EXTREMELY VICIOUS.
OH, NOW, MR. PIEVY,
YOU JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M GOING TO GO CALL
YOUR WIFE. THANK YOU.
TRAVIS, WHAT THE HELL'S
GOIN' ON? I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, ANDY. WHAT
THE HELL'S GOIN' ON?
I DON'T KNOW. MAN, THOSE
DUDES ARE JUST NUTS.
LET'S CANCEL THE CONCERT. THEY SEEMED
LIKE NICE ENOUGH GUYS WHEN I FIRST MET 'EM.
BELIEVE ME, MAN. THOSE
DUDES ARE VICIOUS,
THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND
THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? HAVIN'
TEA IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
WELL, THAT'S IT. LET'S
CANCEL THAT CONCERT.
WAIT A MINUTE NOW.
WE CAN'T DO THAT.
- NOW CAN WE, MR. PIEVY?
- IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE NUTS.
I, FOR ONE, AM
GETTING OUT OF HERE.
LOOK, WAIT. THE CONCERT IS
TONIGHT. THE CONCERT IS TONIGHT!
I DON'T CARE. THAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM. YOU TAKE IT FROM HERE.
I'VE GOT A WIFE TO
THINK ABOUT, KIDS, ROOTS!
WELL, TRAVIS, NOW
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WELL, WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD AS
PLANNED. I'LL TAKE OVER FOR PIEVY.
WHO'S GONNA WATCH
THE BAND? JOHNNY.
JOHNNY? HA! INSTEAD OF THREE
NUTS, NOW I GOT A FOURSOME.
HE CAN DO IT. THESE GUYS JUST
GOTTA BE HANDLED IN THE RIGHT WAY.
OKAY. LET 'EM IN.
EXCUSE ME. UH, I WAS IN MY OFFICE
WORKING AND I SMELLED SOME SMOKE,
SO I LOOKED IN THE
BROADCAST BOOTH.
THERE ARE THREE VERY
WELL-DRESSED YOUNG MEN IN THERE.
THEY SEEM TO BE
COOKING SOMETHING.
I SWEAR, MAN. THEY WERE
DRINKIN' TEA WHEN I LEFT.
THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE, RIGHT?
YEAH, LES. IT'S... IT'S A JOKE.
IT'S DARN FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, IF IT WASN'T
FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOR,
I WOULD SWEAR I
WAS LOSING MY MIND.
BOY, IT'S TOUGH AT THE TOP.
THEY SEND YOU OVER
HERE TO LOOK AFTER US?
YEAH. WHO'S WATCHING YOU THEN?
NOBODY. I'M A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
- YOU DON'T LOOK RESPONSIBLE.
- WELL, YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO TRUST ME.
WE'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.
WE'RE IRRESPONSIBLE.
- I THINK YOU'RE BORING.
- BORING.
WE'RE NEVER BORING. WATCH THIS.
I TAKE IT BACK.
YOU'RE FASCINATING.
HOW 'BOUT THIS THEN?
MUCH BETTER. CAN YOU TOP IT?
NOW, HE'S REALLY
GETTING INTO SOMETHING.
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
♪♪
HELLO?
ANDY, YEAH. NO, WE'RE HAVING
LUNCH. NO COFFEE FOR ME.
YEAH. YEAH.
NO, NO. THEY'RE A SWELL
BUNCH OF KIDS. REALLY. YEAH.
UH, IF YOU'RE NOT THROUGH
WITH LUNCH, I COULD COME BACK.
THAT'S IT FOR HIM
THEN! OUT THE WINDOW!
I DON'T KNOW. GEE, THEY'RE JUST
ANOTHER BUNCH OF ROCK AND ROLLERS.
YOU KNOW, I CAN HANDLE IT.
EXCUSE ME. WHAT FLOOR ARE WE ON?
- UH, GROUND FLOOR.
- PITY.
I TELL YOU THE TRUTH, ANDY. I DON'T
SEE WHAT THE FUSS IS ALL ABOUT.
REALLY. YEAH. IT'S, UH... CUTE.
- STANDING ROOM ONLY. THERE'S
NOT AN EMPTY SEAT IN THE HOUSE.
- YEAH, BUT WHERE'S THE BAND?
THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY, MAN.
IT'S GOIN' OFF LIKE CLOCKWORK.
WE'RE GONNA DO IT. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, BABIES. THEY HERE?
- THEY'RE HERE, YEAH.
- LET'S GO. LET'S GO. GET 'EM ON STAGE.
WELL, THERE'S A PROBLEM.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERFORM.
WHAT?
YEAH, THEY, UH... THEY FEEL THEY
HAVEN'T BEEN TREATED WELL HERE.
WHERE'S A STICK? I NEED A STICK.
THOSE JERKS HAVE GOT A CONTRACT.
YEAH, THEY ATE THAT
ON THE WAY OVER.
I'LL GET 'EM. NO,
WAIT A MINUTE, MAN.
IT'S NO GOOD TALKIN'
TO 'EM. I TRIED IT.
COME ON, MAN. JUST
CALM DOWN. YEAH.
YOU GOTTA BE COOL ABOUT
THIS. JUST TAKE IT EASY.
WHERE'S A STICK? SOMETHIN'
HEAVY. I'LL KILL THOSE GUYS.
DON'T RUSH INTO ANYTHING, BABY.
IT'S JUST A ROCK CONCERT, RIGHT?
I MEAN, THIS STUFF
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
YEAH. BUT I'M THE ONE
THAT'S GOTTA GO OUT
THERE AND TELL 4,000
MANIACS THERE'S NO SHOW.
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHIN'. BY NOW, I DON'T
THINK THE MANIACS'LL NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE.
YEAH, BUT CARLSON
WILL, AND I WOULDN'T
BLAME HIM IF HE FIRED
THE WHOLE BUNCH OF US.
I SUPPOSE YOU'VE HEARD THAT
THE THREE OF US HAVE DECIDED...
THAT WE'RE NOT
GOING ON THIS EVENING.
WELL, THE THREE OF
US HAVE DECIDED...
THAT THE THREE OF YOU
ARE GOING ON THIS EVENING.
ROCK AND ROLL.
ALL RIGHT, CINCINNATI!
THE MIGHTY WKRP IS PROUD TO PRESENT
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE COLONIES...
♪♪ SCUM OF THE EARTH!
GOOD EVENING, ALL
YOU STUPID IDIOTS.
HELLO, YOU SCREAMIN'
TWITS WHO WERE DUMB
ENOUGH TO PAY MONEY
FOR THIS. HOW YOU DOIN'?
WE HATE YOUR LOUSY GUTS. WHAT
HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT? YEAH!
♪ OH ♪
♪ IT WAS A HAPPY ENDING ♪
♪ THE BEGINNING, IT WAS ROUGH ♪
♪ YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE
THAT MY LOVE WAS ENOUGH ♪
♪♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ WHEN THE MUSIC GOT YOU SO ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE
FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US, BABY ♪
♪ WELL, OH, YEAH ♪
♪♪
TRAVIS? OH. YEAH,
HI, MR. CARLSON.
HOW YOU DOIN'? THE QUESTION
IS, HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?
- WHO, ME? OH, I'M... I'M FINE.
- REALLY?
SURE. WHOLE THING WENT
OFF JUST LIKE I SAID IT WOULD.
JUST... SMOOTH GLASS.
IS THAT A FACT? WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
DO THIS SORT OF THING MORE OFTEN.
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT AS, UH,
YOUNG AS I USED TO BE.
OH, YEAH? OH, YEAH.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAYS
OF CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH, CHICAGO...
YOU KNOW, GROUPS LIKE THAT.
THEY'D JUST COME OUT AND THEY'D PLAY.
IT WAS... GREAT. YEAH.
HOW 'BOUT BENNY GOODMAN, HUH?
YEAH. MAN, THERE
WAS A BAND FOR YA, LAD.
WELL, I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO SEE
HIM, BUT I SURE DO LIKE THE RECORDS.
WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT
THIS TO GET AROUND,
BUT, UH, I KINDA LIKE
CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH.
HEY, YOU OUGHTA
COME OUT AND SEE THIS.
THEY'RE SPRAYING THE AUDIENCE
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
- OH, NO.
- YEAH.
BUT THE KIDS LOVE IT. THE
CONCERT'S A BIG SUCCESS, BABY.
- YOU OUGHTA COME TAKE A LOOK.
- ALL RIGHT. WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
WHAT IS WITH THE KIDS
TODAY, MR. CARLSON?
WISH I COULD TELL YA, ANDY. I
REALLY WISH I COULD TELL YA.
READY TO GO?
WHAT? HUH?
YOU READY TO GO? OH, YEAH.
♪♪
♪ WELL, YOU GOTTA BE
TIRED OF SITTIN' LOW ♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST WISHIN'
SOMEBODY WOULD TAKE YOU HOME ♪
♪ WELL, HAVING SOME
FUN FINDING A BOY ♪
♪ REALLY DOESN'T TAKE MUCH ♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
GREATER CINCINNATI AREA...
♪ I LOVE YOU SO
BADLY I COULD... ♪
THEY'RE SOLID PLASTIC, SO
DON'T SETTLE FOR IMITATION...
BUT THE SENATOR, WHILE
INSISTING HE WAS NOT INTOXICATED,
COULD NOT EXPLAIN HIS NUDITY.
♪♪
♪♪
♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪
♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪
♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪
♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪
♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪
♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪
♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪
♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪
♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪
♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪
- GOOD MORNING, JENNIFER.
- OH, HI, ANDY. HOW'S IT GOING?
FINE. GREAT DAY.
MESSAGES? MM-HMM.
ANDY, I TRIED TO CATCH YOU
AT THE ELEVATOR DOWNSTAIRS.
I'M SORRY, LES. I
DIDN'T SEE YOU.
YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT THUMP
JUST AFTER THE DOORS CLOSED?
- YEAH, I DID HEAR THAT.
- WELL, THAT WAS ME.
OH. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
- WERE YOU LISTENING TO JOHNNY
AS YOU DROVE IN THIS MORNING?
- SURE.
WELL, HE'S DOING BOGUS NEWS REPORTS,
ANDY. THAT'S VERY DANGEROUS, YOU KNOW.
WELL, LIKE WHAT?
WELL, HE'S TELLING LISTENERS THERE'S
THIS THING CALLED A CINCINNATI TRIANGLE.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE,
EXCEPT IT RUNS FROM CINCINNATI,
UP TO DAYTON, OVER
TO COLUMBUS AND BACK.
HE'S REPORTING THAT THINGS HAVE BEGUN
TO DISAPPEAR FROM THE CINCINNATI TRIANGLE.
- WHAT KIND OF THINGS?
- WELL, SO FAR,
TWO RECREATIONAL
VEHICLES AND WOODY HAYES.
LES, I DON'T THINK ANYONE IN THEIR
RIGHT MIND WOULD BELIEVE THAT ONE.
- THAT'S, UH... THAT'S A JOKE.
- OH.
IS IT FUNNY?
- WELL, I THINK IT'S FUNNY. JENNIFER?
- OH, YEAH. SO DO I.
OH, I SEE.
THAT DARN JOHNNY.
WHAT A CARD.
OH, TRAVIS. JUST THE
MAN I NEED TO SEE.
WOULD YOU GET IN HERE, PLEASE?
SURE THING, MR. CARLSON.
LET ME PUT MY THINGS AWAY.
HI. HEAR THE NEWS?
WOODY HAYES IS MISSING.
WHO IS WOODY HAYES?
WHO'S WOODY HAYES?
ONLY THE FAMOUS OHIO STATE FOOTBALL
COACH. BOY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
OUT WITH OTHER MEN, HERB,
LETTING THEM HAVE THEIR WAY WITH ME.
DON'T SAY THAT,
JENNIFER. IT'S TRUE, HERB.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT
ELSE? NO, I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.
ANDY'S DONE A LOT OF NICE...
ANDY. MEET STEVE PIEVY.
HELLO, MR. PIEVY.
HELLO, YOUNG MAN.
STEVE HERE IS ONE OF MY OLDEST
AND DEAREST FRIENDS. OH, THAT'S NICE.
- GUESS WHAT ELSE. HE'S A CONCERT PROMOTER.
- OH, YEAH?
THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVEN'T
BEEN TOO ACTIVE LATELY,
BUT SHOWBIZ IS IN MY BLOOD
AND I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT OUT.
ANDY, THIS MAN CAN TELL
YOU SOME WILD STORIES.
I COULD TELL YOU
SOME WILD STORIES.
TELL ONE. NAH.
OH, COME ON. NAH.
MR. CARLSON, DID YOU WANT TO
SEE ME FOR ANY PARTICULAR REASON?
OF COURSE I DID. I ALWAYS WANT
TO SEE YOU FOR A REASON, TRAVIS.
THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME JERRY VALE
SWALLOWED A BUG AT THE STARLIGHT THEATER.
- NOT NOW, STEVE.
- FLEW RIGHT DOWN THIS THROAT.
STEVE. LOOK, TRAVIS,
YOU'VE... ALWAYS TALKIN'
ABOUT HOW WE NEED
TO PROMOTE A CONCERT?
- UH, YEAH. I'M WORKIN' ON THAT.
- WELL, I'M GONNA HELP YOU,
BECAUSE THIS MAN HAS
BOOKED SOME OF THE
BIGGEST ACTS IN SHOW
BUSINESS IN CINCINNATI.
THAT'S RIGHT. AND THEY'RE
ALWAYS IN THE BEST OF TASTE.
WELL, I'M SURE HE HAS, MR. CARLSON, BUT
WE NEED A BAND THAT PLAYS ROCK AND ROLL.
JUST A SECOND. STEVIE PIEVY
HERE BOOKS ALL KINDS OF ACTS.
THAT'S RIGHT. THEY DON'T CALL ME
MR. ENTERTAINMENT FOR NOTHING.
OH, DEAR. MY PIE
HAS BEEN SQUISHED.
JUST TELL US WHAT YOU
GOT. HOW ABOUT A BEAR ACT?
I DON'T THINK SO.
THEY WEAR TUTUS.
LOOK, IF YOU GOT ANY MUSICAL
ACTS... WELL, LET ME SEE.
I STILL BOOK CHUCK PARKER
AND HIS MOUNTED VIRGINIANS.
HEY, LISTEN, TRAVIS.
THERE'S A WINNER FOR YA.
- I-IT'S A DIXIELAND BAND
THAT PLAYS ON HORSEBACK.
- OH, HORSEBACK.
NO, WE NEED A BAND THAT'S GONNA GO
ALONG WITH OUR ROCK-AND-ROLL FORMAT.
YECH. I DO HAVE ONE ACT.
THEY MUST BE A ROCK-AND-ROLL
BAND. THEIR NAME'S SCUM OF THE EARTH.
YOU BOOK SCUM? NOT AS A RULE.
THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?
WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS A
HOT NEW GROUP IN ENGLAND.
AND THEY'RE STARTING
AN AMERICAN TOUR.
I COULD GET THEM FOR YOU.
THEIR PRICE CERTAINLY IS RIGHT.
- IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL
YOUR JUNK ROCK?
- UH, "PUNK." PUNK ROCK.
PUNK, JUNK... IT'S ALL THE SAME. LOOK,
I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THE BEARS.
MR. PIEVY, WHY DON'T YOU AND I
DISCUSS THE DETAILS IN MY OFFICE?
OH, WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE
FAST ON THIS, ANDREW.
WELL, LET'S GET RIGHT ON IT. OH,
GOOD. I LIKE IT WHEN IT GETS EXCITING.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS.
LOOK, IS THIS GONNA BE TASTEFUL?
IT'S GONNA BE JUST THE THING
THAT WE'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR.
I'LL BE DIPPED IN SHELLAC.
NO, NO, NO, NO. LISTEN. NO.
PARKING IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
THAT COMES UNDER
"AUDITORIUM SECURITY."
WELL, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO
TALK TO MR. PIEVY ABOUT THAT.
OKAY. YEAH, THANKS A LOT.
UH, HI THERE, TRAVIS. WELL,
GOOD MORNING, MR. CARLSON.
OH, BY THE WAY, I SOLD ALL THE
PROGRAM ADS. OH, HI, BIG GUY.
HI. UH, LISTEN, TRAVIS.
WORD'S OUT THAT... THIS
BAND DOES SOME CRAZY THINGS.
NOW, I-I KNOW THAT I'M NOT,
UH... I'M NOT KNOWN AS A HIP GUY.
- HEY, ANDY. HOW'S THIS FOR THE SHOW?
- THAT IS PERFECT.
GOOD. I BEEN WANTIN' TO WEAR
THIS DOG. WHAT'S HAPPENIN', MAN?
UH, VENUS IS EMCEEING THE SHOW.
OH, YEAH. REAL GOOD. UH...
Y-YOU KNOW, ANDY, THERE ARE TWO
REASONS THAT I-I DON'T WANNA DO THIS THING.
NUMBER ONE...
THERE'S MONEY IN HERE.
SURE. LOT OF IT.
SEVEN BUCKS A TICKET.
I'M SORRY, MR. CARLSON. WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO, UH, TALK TO ME ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING.
N-NOTHING AT ALL. UH...
EXCEPT JUST DON'T YOU FORGET WHOSE
IDEA THIS WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE, OKAY?
THERE. HOW DOES THAT LOOK?
IT'S POETRY.
GOOD GRIEF.
ISN'T SOMETHING LIKE
THAT AN INVITATION FOR
ALL THE WORST SORT OF
PEOPLE TO COME IN HERE?
LES, THAT'S THE NAME
OF AN ORCHESTRA.
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THE ON-THE-AIR
PROMOTION SPOTS WE'VE BEEN RUNNING?
YES, BUT I THOUGHT
THAT WAS ALL JUST A JOKE.
- IT IS, LES.
- I THOUGHT SO.
- IT'S DARN FUNNY TOO.
- IT'S DARN FUNNY.
ISN'T THIS EXCITING,
MR. CARLSON?
YEAH, IT CERTAINLY IS.
YEAH, OUR FIRST CONCERT.
I MEAN, THE FIRST CONCERT
WE'VE HAD SINCE WE'VE GONE ROCK.
AND WE SOLD OUT TOO.
COURSE, IT'S NOT A VERY BIG AUDITORIUM.
BUT STILL, I THINK IT'S VERY EXCITING.
WHO'S SHE?
BAILEY QUARTERS. SHE WORK HERE?
UH-HUH. I LIKE HER.
I KNOW. YOU SAY THAT
EVERY TIME YOU MEET HER.
I DO? HEY, BIG GUY.
HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD A SCUM RECORD?
THIS MAY AMAZE YOU,
HERB, BUT, UH, NO.
WELL, I WROTE DOWN THE LYRICS TO ONE
CALLED "LOVE IS MURDER." YOU WANNA HEAR IT?
WHAT CHOICES DO I HAVE? YEAH.
"LOVE IS MURDER, MURDER IS LOVE.
"I'M A ROCK-AND-ROLL HOODLUM
WITH A BLACK LEATHER GLOVE.
KNOCK ME DOWN, BABY.
STEP ON MY FACE." OH.
"I'M A... ""I'M A FOOL FOR YOU,
BABY. LET'S BLOW UP THIS PLACE."
KINDA CATCHY, HUH?
I'VE NEVER LET PAYOLA
INFLUENCE MY RECORD SELECTION.
ANDY, MR. PIEVY FINALLY CALLED
FROM THE AIRPORT. SCUM IS ON ITS WAY.
WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC. TERRIFIC?
THOSE PEOPLE WRITE
MUSIC ABOUT EXPLOSIONS.
MR. CARLSON, I'VE BEEN TRYIN' TO
TELL YOU THIS. THEY'RE MUSICIANS.
ALL THAT'S JUST A GIMMICK. YOU GOT NOTHIN'
TO WORRY ABOUT. I GOTTA GO CHECK ON VENUS.
JOHNNY, IS THAT TRUE? WHAT?
THAT I'VE GOT NOTHIN' TO
WORRY ABOUT. NO, IT'S NOT.
HELLO. WE'RE THE
SCUM OF THE EARTH.
- NO.
- YES.
HUH? MMM.
HUH. LISTEN, DR. FEVER. THIS IS
MARVEL... THESE GUYS ARE WONDERFUL.
COATS, TIES, THE WHOLE...
WELCOME ABOARD, FELLAS.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
- ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SCUM?
POSITIVE.
WELL, OF COURSE THEY
ARE. WHERE IS MR. PIEVY?
HE GOT OUT OF THE CAR. THAT'S
THE LAST WE SAW OF HIM, I THINK.
WAS THE CAR MOVING
WHEN HE GOT OUT?
YES, I... I BELIEVE IT WAS.
WH-WHY WOULD HE
DO A THING LIKE THAT?
WE DON'T KNOW, BUT THAT'S OUR
STORY AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT.
YEAH, THESE ARE THE GUYS.
STRAY CAT ♪
♪♪
COME RIGHT ON IN HERE,
GUYS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ABSOLUTELY. THANK YOU.
NOW THIS IS VENUS FLYTRAP. HE'S
GONNA BE DOING THE INTERVIEWING.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? HELLO.
MR. FLYTRAP. HOW
ARE YOU? I'M FINE.
HEY. HOW DO YOU DO?
ANYTHING PARTICULAR YOU
GUYS WANNA RAP ABOUT?
NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN ASK
US ANYTHING YOU LIKE.
WE'RE JUST DELIGHTED TO BE HERE.
WELL, HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
TEA WOULD BE LOVELY. YES.
YOU GOT IT.
OKAY, FELLAS. HERE WE GO.
OH, ANYTIME. THIS
IS SO EXCITING.
♪♪
THAT WAS SCUM OF
THE EARTH'S NEW HIT,
AND NOW LET'S RAP TO THESE
HEAVY DUDES HERE, LIVE IN PERSON.
THIS IS VENUS FLYTRAP,
ONE-ON-ONE WITH SCUM.
- WELCOME TO CINCINNATI, GUYS.
- WE HATE CINCINNATI.
- HUH?
- WE DON'T LIKE
THIS STUDIO MUCH EITHER.
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
INTRODUCE YOURSELVES?
VERY WELL. I'M
BLOOD, THIS IS NIGEL,
AND THIS IS SIR
CHARLES WEATHERBEE.
HE ANSWERS TO "DOG."
OKAY. LET'S START WITH DOG.
UM, WHERE DID YOU
THREE FIRST MEET?
WHERE DID WE MEET? HOW BORING.
SAME OLD QUESTIONS WHEREVER WE GO.
YES, BUT THIS IS
PARTICULARLY BORING.
NO ONE SHOULD HAVE
TO HEAR THIS NONSENSE.
I WOULD SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LISTENING
TURN TO ANOTHER RADIO STATION IMMEDIATELY.
YEAH.
YOU DUDES LIKE TO... LIKE TO
KID AROUND A LOT, DON'T YOU?
HEEL!
MAY I SAY HELLO TO MY MOTHER?
YOUR MAMA LIVE IN CINCINNATI?
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS
A CHANCE, ISN'T THERE?
HELLO, MUMMY. YOU NAUGHTY GIRL.
DON'T COME HOME IF YOU
KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
LOOK, TURKEYS. YOU WANNA SHAPE
UP, OR YOU WANT ME TO
PUT ON ANOTHER RECORD?
WE'RE SO SORRY. PLEASE.
YES. WE APOLOGIZE.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK DOG
ABOUT HIS MUSICAL TRAINING?
OKAY.
SORRY, GANG. WE HAD A
SLIGHT TECHNICAL PROBLEM.
WE'RE NOW BACK LIVE WITH SCUM.
OKAY, DOG, UH, TELL US ABOUT
YOUR FORMAL MUSICAL TRAINING.
I HAVE NONE.
CAN'T READ A BLOODY NOTE.
- BUT I GOT A DEGREE IN CELLO
AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY.
- OH, YEAH?
I DON'T PLAY TOO MUCH ANYMORE. YOU CAN'T
GET THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING TEENAGE GIRLS...
TO COME TO A CELLO
RECITAL, NOW, CAN YOU?
AND WE RATHER
LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS.
NOW I THINK I KNOW HOW
PUNK ROCK GOT ITS NAME.
ACTUALLY, WE'RE NOT
A PUNK ROCK GROUP.
NO, PUNK ROCK IS PASSÉ.
WE PLAY HOODLUM ROCK.
- IT'S SEVERAL CUTS
BELOW PUNK ROCK.
- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, PUNK ROCK
GROUPS DRESS DEPLORABLY.
AND SECONDLY, THEY DON'T USUALLY
PHYSICALLY ATTACK THEIR AUDIENCES.
- AND YOU DUDES DO?
- COME TO THE SHOW
AND FIND OUT.
WE DON'T LIKE AUDIENCES.
- HEY, AREN'T THEY NICE?
- NICE? LOOK WHAT
THEY DID TO STEVE.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
THEY THREW HIM LOCK, STOCK AND...
BRIEFCASE RIGHT OUT OF THE LIMOUSINE.
ONE OF 'EM ASKED ME WHAT TIME IT
WAS, AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW,
THIS OTHER ONE SAID,
"WELL, THAT'S IT FOR HIM."
THOSE PEOPLE ARE
THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE VERY POLITE
BOYS. BUT EXTREMELY VICIOUS.
OH, NOW, MR. PIEVY,
YOU JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M GOING TO GO CALL
YOUR WIFE. THANK YOU.
TRAVIS, WHAT THE HELL'S
GOIN' ON? I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, ANDY. WHAT
THE HELL'S GOIN' ON?
I DON'T KNOW. MAN, THOSE
DUDES ARE JUST NUTS.
LET'S CANCEL THE CONCERT. THEY SEEMED
LIKE NICE ENOUGH GUYS WHEN I FIRST MET 'EM.
BELIEVE ME, MAN. THOSE
DUDES ARE VICIOUS,
THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND
THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? HAVIN'
TEA IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
WELL, THAT'S IT. LET'S
CANCEL THAT CONCERT.
WAIT A MINUTE NOW.
WE CAN'T DO THAT.
- NOW CAN WE, MR. PIEVY?
- IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE NUTS.
I, FOR ONE, AM
GETTING OUT OF HERE.
LOOK, WAIT. THE CONCERT IS
TONIGHT. THE CONCERT IS TONIGHT!
I DON'T CARE. THAT'S YOUR
PROBLEM. YOU TAKE IT FROM HERE.
I'VE GOT A WIFE TO
THINK ABOUT, KIDS, ROOTS!
WELL, TRAVIS, NOW
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WELL, WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD AS
PLANNED. I'LL TAKE OVER FOR PIEVY.
WHO'S GONNA WATCH
THE BAND? JOHNNY.
JOHNNY? HA! INSTEAD OF THREE
NUTS, NOW I GOT A FOURSOME.
HE CAN DO IT. THESE GUYS JUST
GOTTA BE HANDLED IN THE RIGHT WAY.
OKAY. LET 'EM IN.
EXCUSE ME. UH, I WAS IN MY OFFICE
WORKING AND I SMELLED SOME SMOKE,
SO I LOOKED IN THE
BROADCAST BOOTH.
THERE ARE THREE VERY
WELL-DRESSED YOUNG MEN IN THERE.
THEY SEEM TO BE
COOKING SOMETHING.
I SWEAR, MAN. THEY WERE
DRINKIN' TEA WHEN I LEFT.
THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE, RIGHT?
YEAH, LES. IT'S... IT'S A JOKE.
IT'S DARN FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, IF IT WASN'T
FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOR,
I WOULD SWEAR I
WAS LOSING MY MIND.
BOY, IT'S TOUGH AT THE TOP.
THEY SEND YOU OVER
HERE TO LOOK AFTER US?
YEAH. WHO'S WATCHING YOU THEN?
NOBODY. I'M A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
- YOU DON'T LOOK RESPONSIBLE.
- WELL, YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO TRUST ME.
WE'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.
WE'RE IRRESPONSIBLE.
- I THINK YOU'RE BORING.
- BORING.
WE'RE NEVER BORING. WATCH THIS.
I TAKE IT BACK.
YOU'RE FASCINATING.
HOW 'BOUT THIS THEN?
MUCH BETTER. CAN YOU TOP IT?
NOW, HE'S REALLY
GETTING INTO SOMETHING.
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
♪♪
HELLO?
ANDY, YEAH. NO, WE'RE HAVING
LUNCH. NO COFFEE FOR ME.
YEAH. YEAH.
NO, NO. THEY'RE A SWELL
BUNCH OF KIDS. REALLY. YEAH.
UH, IF YOU'RE NOT THROUGH
WITH LUNCH, I COULD COME BACK.
THAT'S IT FOR HIM
THEN! OUT THE WINDOW!
I DON'T KNOW. GEE, THEY'RE JUST
ANOTHER BUNCH OF ROCK AND ROLLERS.
YOU KNOW, I CAN HANDLE IT.
EXCUSE ME. WHAT FLOOR ARE WE ON?
- UH, GROUND FLOOR.
- PITY.
I TELL YOU THE TRUTH, ANDY. I DON'T
SEE WHAT THE FUSS IS ALL ABOUT.
REALLY. YEAH. IT'S, UH... CUTE.
- STANDING ROOM ONLY. THERE'S
NOT AN EMPTY SEAT IN THE HOUSE.
- YEAH, BUT WHERE'S THE BAND?
THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY, MAN.
IT'S GOIN' OFF LIKE CLOCKWORK.
WE'RE GONNA DO IT. ALL RIGHT.
HEY, BABIES. THEY HERE?
- THEY'RE HERE, YEAH.
- LET'S GO. LET'S GO. GET 'EM ON STAGE.
WELL, THERE'S A PROBLEM.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERFORM.
WHAT?
YEAH, THEY, UH... THEY FEEL THEY
HAVEN'T BEEN TREATED WELL HERE.
WHERE'S A STICK? I NEED A STICK.
THOSE JERKS HAVE GOT A CONTRACT.
YEAH, THEY ATE THAT
ON THE WAY OVER.
I'LL GET 'EM. NO,
WAIT A MINUTE, MAN.
IT'S NO GOOD TALKIN'
TO 'EM. I TRIED IT.
COME ON, MAN. JUST
CALM DOWN. YEAH.
YOU GOTTA BE COOL ABOUT
THIS. JUST TAKE IT EASY.
WHERE'S A STICK? SOMETHIN'
HEAVY. I'LL KILL THOSE GUYS.
DON'T RUSH INTO ANYTHING, BABY.
IT'S JUST A ROCK CONCERT, RIGHT?
I MEAN, THIS STUFF
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
YEAH. BUT I'M THE ONE
THAT'S GOTTA GO OUT
THERE AND TELL 4,000
MANIACS THERE'S NO SHOW.
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHIN'. BY NOW, I DON'T
THINK THE MANIACS'LL NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE.
YEAH, BUT CARLSON
WILL, AND I WOULDN'T
BLAME HIM IF HE FIRED
THE WHOLE BUNCH OF US.
I SUPPOSE YOU'VE HEARD THAT
THE THREE OF US HAVE DECIDED...
THAT WE'RE NOT
GOING ON THIS EVENING.
WELL, THE THREE OF
US HAVE DECIDED...
THAT THE THREE OF YOU
ARE GOING ON THIS EVENING.
ROCK AND ROLL.
ALL RIGHT, CINCINNATI!
THE MIGHTY WKRP IS PROUD TO PRESENT
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE COLONIES...
♪♪ SCUM OF THE EARTH!
GOOD EVENING, ALL
YOU STUPID IDIOTS.
HELLO, YOU SCREAMIN'
TWITS WHO WERE DUMB
ENOUGH TO PAY MONEY
FOR THIS. HOW YOU DOIN'?
WE HATE YOUR LOUSY GUTS. WHAT
HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT? YEAH!
♪ OH ♪
♪ IT WAS A HAPPY ENDING ♪
♪ THE BEGINNING, IT WAS ROUGH ♪
♪ YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE
THAT MY LOVE WAS ENOUGH ♪
♪♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO DISAPPEAR ♪
♪ WHEN THE MUSIC GOT YOU SO ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE
FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US ♪
♪ I GOT ENOUGH LOVE ♪
♪ FOR THE TWO OF US, BABY ♪
♪ WELL, OH, YEAH ♪
♪♪
TRAVIS? OH. YEAH,
HI, MR. CARLSON.
HOW YOU DOIN'? THE QUESTION
IS, HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?
- WHO, ME? OH, I'M... I'M FINE.
- REALLY?
SURE. WHOLE THING WENT
OFF JUST LIKE I SAID IT WOULD.
JUST... SMOOTH GLASS.
IS THAT A FACT? WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD
DO THIS SORT OF THING MORE OFTEN.
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT AS, UH,
YOUNG AS I USED TO BE.
OH, YEAH? OH, YEAH.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE DAYS
OF CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH, CHICAGO...
YOU KNOW, GROUPS LIKE THAT.
THEY'D JUST COME OUT AND THEY'D PLAY.
IT WAS... GREAT. YEAH.
HOW 'BOUT BENNY GOODMAN, HUH?
YEAH. MAN, THERE
WAS A BAND FOR YA, LAD.
WELL, I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO SEE
HIM, BUT I SURE DO LIKE THE RECORDS.
WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT
THIS TO GET AROUND,
BUT, UH, I KINDA LIKE
CROSBY, STILLS AND NASH.
HEY, YOU OUGHTA
COME OUT AND SEE THIS.
THEY'RE SPRAYING THE AUDIENCE
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
- OH, NO.
- YEAH.
BUT THE KIDS LOVE IT. THE
CONCERT'S A BIG SUCCESS, BABY.
- YOU OUGHTA COME TAKE A LOOK.
- ALL RIGHT. WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
WHAT IS WITH THE KIDS
TODAY, MR. CARLSON?
WISH I COULD TELL YA, ANDY. I
REALLY WISH I COULD TELL YA.
READY TO GO?
WHAT? HUH?
YOU READY TO GO? OH, YEAH.
♪♪
♪ WELL, YOU GOTTA BE
TIRED OF SITTIN' LOW ♪
♪ SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST WISHIN'
SOMEBODY WOULD TAKE YOU HOME ♪
♪ WELL, HAVING SOME
FUN FINDING A BOY ♪
♪ REALLY DOESN'T TAKE MUCH ♪♪ ♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪