WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 1, Episode 14 - Johnny Comes Back - full transcript

With Johnny gone, Andy finds a replacement for the morning shift in Doug Winner. Meanwhile, Johnny returns after getting quickly fired in L.A. for saying something obscene on the radio. Johnny and Andy discover that Doug is taking Payola in the form of cocaine from a record promoter. The Doctor gets his morning shift back!

HI. HI.

HI. HI.

BYE. BYE.

BOY, THINGS ARE SURE TENSE
AROUND HERE SINCE JOHNNY LEFT. YEAH.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I DON'T
HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS JIVE.

I MEAN, I CAN ALWAYS
QUIT, AND I WILL TOO.

I CAN'T WORK MY SHOW EVERY
NIGHT, THEN WORK THE MORNING SHIFT.

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

HEY, VENUS, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

ANDY BETTER FIND SOMEBODY
ELSE QUICK. YOU UNDERSTAND? NO.

I'M TALKIN' SERIOUS BUSINESS,
MAN. I'LL LOOK INTO IT FOR YOU. OKAY.



MORNING, BARNUM.

- IT'S BAILEY.
- BAILEY. RIGHT. WELL, HEY...

HONEST MISTAKE... ANYONE
COULD MAKE IT. WHOA.

HI, BEAUTIFUL. YOU GET
THE CHAMPAGNE I SENT YOU?

I RETURNED IT TO YOUR
OFFICE. YOU RETURNED IT? WHY?

MURRAY, WE DO NOT ACCEPT GIFTS
FROM RECORD COMPANY REPRESENTATIVES.

ESPECIALLY, DOMESTIC CHAMPAGNE.

OH, I SEE.

YEAH. WELL, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A
BRIBE. SEE, IT WAS JUST FRIENDSHIP.

I'D NEVER ASK FOR ANY FAVORS.
UH, I JUST WANNA KNOW ONE THING.

WHAT? WHY DOESN'T THE
STATION PLAY MY RECORDS?

DON'T KNOW. DON'T CARE.

YOU KNOW, UH, MY BOSS AT ONSLAUGHT
RECORDS, UH, DOESN'T LIKE THIS.

I COULD LOSE MY JOB. YOU KNOW, JENNIFER,
IT'S NOT REALLY FOR ME. IT'S FOR MOM.



SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL. BEEN KIND OF SICK.
BUNIONS ON HER FEET AND BAD DENTAL WORK.

I DON'T KNOW, BUT THE BILLS
ARE STARTING TO PILE UP.

TOO BAD. HEY, WHAT'S WITH
EVERYONE AROUND HERE?

JOHNNY QUIT. JOHNNY FEVER?

YES, HE TOOK A JOB
WITH A STATION IN L.A.

OH, WOW. THAT'S TOO BAD.
WHO'S TAKING HIS PLACE?

I DON'T KNOW. ANDY'S BEEN
INTERVIEWING PEOPLE ALL WEEK.

YEAH? HAS HE FOUND
ANYONE YET? NOPE.

HMM. I'LL BE BACK
TOMORROW, JENNIFER.

YEAH, I'D LIKE TO HELP THIS STATION. SO
WHAT IF THEY DON'T PLAY MY RECORDS.

JENNIFER, THIS'LL BE THE BIGGEST
FAVOR I'VE EVER DONE FOR ANYONE.

HAVE I GOT A DEEJAY FOR YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

♪ BABY IF YOU'VE EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVING ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKING AND UNPACKING ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP ♪

♪ IN CINCINNATI ♪♪

HEY, ANDY!

MASON NOBEL.
HEY, GLAD TO SEE YA.

EH, GLAD TO BE SEEN BY YOU.

GLAD TO BE GLAD. HEY.

UH, MASON, LET ME START BY
SAYING... UH, YOU WANT ME TO SIT?

OH, HEY, THAT'S GREAT.
WOW, GREAT. THANKS A LOT.

OH. GREAT SEAT. MMM.

GREAT STATION.
GREAT TO BE ALIVE. HEY.

SO YOU'RE THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR,
RIGHT? RIGHT. THAT'S GREAT.

I GET ALONG GREAT WITH PROGRAM
DIRECTORS. THERE WAS THIS GUY ONCE...

WHO KILLED SEVEN PEOPLE.

I STILL GOT ALONG WITH HIM.
I THOUGHT HE WAS GREAT.

- UH, MAY I SAY SOMETHING?
- OH, HEY, YOU BETCHA, ANDY.

TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT
YOURSELF, ABOUT THE STATION. YEAH.

MASON, I WANNA START BY SAYING THAT WHAT
WE'RE LOOKING FOR IN A NEW MORNING MAN...

- IS, UH, INDIVIDUALITY.
- OH, HEY. MR. INDIVIDUALITY,
THAT'S ME, ANDY.

I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS NOT
JUST UNIQUE BUT DIFFERENT, SEE?

REALLY. FOR EXAMPLE, UH, EH...

THIS IS MASON NOBEL HERE
WITH THE SOUNDS THAT ABOUND...

AND SOMETIMES ASTOUND.

AND IT'S ALL PLANNED
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. HEY.

THAT'S NICE. YEAH.
ISN'T IT GREAT?

YEAH, IT ALMOST
RHYMES, ANDY. YEAH...

- IT IS ANDY, RIGHT?
- I... YEAH.

YEAH. HEY. WELL... LISTEN, HERE'S
MY, UH... MY AUDITION TAPE, ANDY.

I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GONNA
GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE.

- OKAY, MASON,
I'LL GIVE IT A LISTEN TO.
- OKAY, THIS IS GREAT. UH, HEY.

LET'S GO GRAB SOME LUNCH. WHAT
DO YOU SAY? I APPRECIATE THE OFFER,

BUT I AM KIND OF BUSY, AND IT'S
ONLY 9:30 IN THE MORNING. OH.

RIGHT. HEY.

WELL, LET ME JUST GO
GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR.

THIS IS MASON NOBEL HERE.
YOUR MID-MORNING HOST SAYING...

TH-THAT'S ALL... FOR NOW.

- THAT ALMOST RHYMES.
- YEAH, ISN'T IT GREAT? IT'S GREAT.

- ANDY, BABY,
I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
- OH, MURRAY. NO, NO.

- NOT NOW, MURRAY. LOOK, I'M INTERVIEWING.
- I KNOW. I KNOW.

I FOUND YOUR GUY. LOOK, THERE'S PLENTY
OF PEOPLE IN THE LOBBY AHEAD OF YOU.

SEND 'EM HOME, PAL. YOUR SEARCH
IS OVER. JUST THIS ONCE, TRUST ME.

OKAY, MURRAY. THREE MINUTES,
MURRAY. IT'S ALL I'LL NEED, BUDDY BOY.

COME ON IN HERE.

SAY HELLO TO YOUR NEW RATINGS
BOOSTER, MR. DOUG WINNER.

COURTESY OF ME, MURRAY GRESSLER,
ONSLAUGHT RECORDS. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

THAT'S THE WAY WE WORK.

WELL, HI, DOUG. SHAKE HANDS.

HELLO, ANDY. IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU. ISN'T HE A BEAUTIFUL GUY?

NO ZITS, NOTHIN'.
WHAT A MORNING MAN.

MURRAY... SIT DOWN.

SO, LISTEN, DOUG. HOW LONG
YOU BEEN IN THE BUSINESS?

HE'S BEEN IN IT SEVEN YEARS. HE'S OUT OF
WORK NOW, BUT, HEY, FORGET I SAID THAT.

IN FACT, WHAT AM I SAYIN', HUH?

I QUIT TO GET MY MASTER'S, BUT
I'VE DECIDED TO GET BACK IN ACTION.

- SEE THAT? A COLLEGE BOY.
- YOU GOT A TAPE?

YOU GOT A TAPE? I
KNEW IT. SHOW IT TO HIM.

UH, MURRAY, I THINK I
CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF.

SURE YOU CAN, KID. THAT'S WHY GOD GAVE YOU
A TONGUE. I'M JUST HERE TO OBSERVE, RIGHT?

I GOT A TAPE RIGHT HERE. YEAH. LOOK,
IT'S COME IN A BOX AND EVERYTHING.

MURRAY, WAIT IN THE HALL. WHAT?

RIGHT.

- MURRAY!
- WHAT?

- NOW SHUT THE DOOR.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT TO TELL ME
THESE THINGS.

SOUNDS GOOD. SO, HOW DID IT
GO? YOU CAN TELL ME, RIGHT?

NO THANKS TO YOU, I
THINK WE'VE FOUND...

OUR NEW MORNING MAN. THANKS
AGAIN, ANDY. I APPRECIATE IT.

YOU BETCHA. LET'S GO... DON'T
FORGET WHO PUT THIS DEAL TOGETHER.

MURRAY GRESSLER,
ONSLAUGHT... WHERE YOU GOIN'?

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW'D THIS GET UP HERE?

AIN'T THAT FUNNY?
WE CAN'T HAVE THIS.

YOU DON'T EVEN GET THESE IN
JAPAN ANYMORE. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

♪ WKRP, CINCINNATI ♪

THIS IS DOUG WINNER
AT 9:25 IN THE QUEEN CITY.

AND NOW HERE'S A SONG THAT
IS GOING RIGHT TO THE TOP.

"NOWHERE BAND" BY
THE SOUNDTASTICS. YEAH.

♪ EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE
DON'T NOBODY GO NOWHERE ♪

♪ GET ON THE BUS TRAVEL
WITH THE NOWHERE BAND ♪

- HI.
- HELLO. I'M LES NESSMAN,

DIRECTOR OF NEWS,
SPORTS, WEATHER,

TRAFFIC... AND FARM REPORTS.

I KNOW. UH, WE MET A
COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

YES.

NOW I PUT MY THINGS OVER HERE.

THESE ARE MY CARTS, AND
THESE ARE MY TEAR SHEETS.

NEVER TOUCH MY TEAR SHEETS.

YOU CAN TOUCH MY CARTS
BUT NEVER MY TEAR SHEETS.

AN ORGANIZED NEWSROOM IS A
RELIABLE NEWSROOM. RIGHT, LES.

MUSIC'S FUN,

BUT NEWS TOUCHES ALL OUR LIVES.

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT
DOES. I AGREE WITH YOU.

YOU DO?

DIDN'T YOU WIN THE BUCKEYE
NEWSHAWK AWARD LAST YEAR?

YOU MIGHT WORK
OUT AFTER ALL, DOUG.

OUT OF THE WAY, LES.
DOUG, TARLEK HERE.

- I GUESS I DON'T
HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT.
- I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU.

YEAH? WELL, DON'T
BELIEVE ALL THAT JUNK.

NO, IT WAS ALL GOOD.

OH, YEAH? WHO WAS IT
YOU WERE TALKIN' TO?

A LOT OF PEOPLE.

GLAD TO HAVE YOU ABOARD,
DOUG. THANKS, HERB.

- HEY, I APPRECIATE
YOU GUYS COMING IN.
- OUR PLEASURE.

OH, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I COME TO
YOU FOR ADVICE EVERY NOW AND THEN.

CERTAINLY NOT, DOUG.

AND YOU CAN TOUCH MY
TEAR SHEETS IF YOU WANT TO.

♪ TRAVEL WITH THE
NOWHERE BAND ♪♪

LOOK, THE GUY'S ONLY
BEEN HERE FIVE DAYS,

AND THE TWO OF YOU HAVE
HARDLY EVEN SPOKEN TO HIM.

- NOW, WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
- HEY, I'VE TALKED TO HIM.

YOU'VE TALKED WITH HIM? YOU TRY TO MAKE
FRIENDS WITH HIM? YOU TRY TO HELP HIM OUT?

- NOT EXACTLY.
- BAILEY, HOW ABOUT YOU?

YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS
FOR ME TO TALK TO STRANGERS.

OH, COME ON. HE'S NO STRANGER.

WELL, HE'S NOT JOHNNY EITHER.

NO, HE'S NOT JOHNNY. HE IS DOUG.

COME ON. YOU TWO
OUGHT TO GIVE HIM A BREAK.

LOOK, JOHNNY IS GONE, AND THERE'S NOT A
DARNED THING THAT WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, ANDY.
BUT, I DON'T KNOW. THERE'S...

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
THIS GUY. YOU KNOW, HE...

I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON
IT, BUT HE'S SO... SO WHITE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. TRAVIS.

GOSH DARN IT, I LIKE
THAT NEW GUY. ME TOO.

- YOU MADE A GREAT CHOICE.
- YOU TWO GUYS LIKE HIM?

YEAH! SURE DO.

SEE, ANDY? THERE'S GOT TO
BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM.

THE POINT IS, DOUG'S GONNA
BE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME.

COME ON. LET'S MAKE
HIM PART OF THE TEAM.

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT
I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

DO IT.

TA-DA!

MIND IF I COME IN?

DR. FEVER!

HEY, MAN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' BACK
HERE, MAN? I'M LOOKIN' FOR A JOB.

UH, YEAH, UH...

LOOK, JOHNNY. I JUST
FILLED YOUR, UH, TIME SLOT.

WELL, I FIGURED, UH...

YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE?

HOW ABOUT MOSS STEIGER'S
SPOT? WHAT HAPPENED TO MOSS?

WELL, HE TRIED TO
KILL HIMSELF AGAIN.

THIS TIME HE GOT INTO A
CLOSET WITH A HIBACHI...

AND TRIED TO ASPHYXIATE
HIMSELF. MY GOD.

JOHNNY, I'M NOT SURE
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT,

BUT DO YOU MIND
SITTING IN FOR MOSS?

I'D LOVE TO SIT IN FOR HIM.

IN THAT CASE, MY
FRIEND, YOU HAVE GOT IT.

AND WELCOME BACK TO
YOU. SIT DOWN. COME ON.

TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOUR L.A. JOB?

DID YOU SAY "BOOGER"
ON THE AIR AGAIN?

NO. YOU CAN SAY THAT
ON THE AIR OUT THERE NOW.

BUT YOU CAN'T SAY...



♪♪

OOH.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S 5:27
IN THE MORNING...

ON WKRP IN CINCINNATI.

I'M YOU'RE NEW HOST
FROM MIDNIGHT TO 6:00 A.M.

MY NAME IS HEAVY EARLY.

AND IT IS.

AND I'M HERE WITH MUSIC...

MUSIC FOR PEOPLE WHO...

DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
BETTER TO DO...

THAN TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT...

LISTENING TO MUSIC...

WITH ME TALKING OCCASIONALLY...

IN BETWEEN THE RECORDS,

WHICH BREAK UP THE MONOTONY...

OF ME TALKING ENDLESSLY...

ON AND ON AND ON...
ON WKRP IN CINCINNATI,

WHERE IT'S 5...

28...

AND TIME FOR THIS
FASCINATING MESSAGE.

WE'RE HAPPY LITTLE WORMS ♪

♪ WE LOVE TO FISH WITH YOU ♪

♪ WE CATCH THE BIG ONES EVERY
TIME BECAUSE WE'RE HOOKED ON YOU ♪

♪ RED WIGGLERS THE
CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪♪

REMEMBER, RED WIGGLERS,
THE CADILLAC OF WORMS.

THEY'RE AVAILABLE IN FINE
WORM SHOPS EVERYWHERE.

AND... IT'S COMIN' UP ON... ♪♪

5:29 IN CINCINNATI.
THIS IS THE MIGHTY KRP.

I'M HEAVY EARLY
ASKING THE QUESTION...

THAT ALL LATE-NIGHT
DISC JOCKEYS ASK...

IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?

♪♪

MORNING.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M, UH, DOUG WINNER.
I'M THE NEW MORNING MAN.

OH, I'M, UH... I'M HEAVY EARLY.

I USED TO BE DR. JOHNNY FEVER.

OH! YOU'RE THE DOCTOR!

WELL, THIS IS AN HONOR.

WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE BACK, I
THOUGHT THEY'D JUST THROW ME RIGHT OUT.

AW, NO. THEY DON'T WORK THAT
WAY AROUND HERE, UH, DOUG?

YEAH. OH, LISTEN. I'M REALLY
SORRY I GOT YOUR JOB.

I QUIT. IT'S MY OWN FAULT.

LISTEN, CAN I GET YOU SOME
COFFEE? NO, I'LL MAKE SOME.

NO, NO. I'LL MAKE
IT. I'LL MAKE IT, OKAY?

YOU JUST STAY HERE, RELAX, UH,
GET ORGANIZED. OKAY. THANKS, JOHNNY.

YEAH. I'M GONNA PLAY THE WHOLE
SIDE, SO DON'T WORRY. RIGHT.

MURRAY, THIS IS WINNER.

I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME
IT IS, MAN. WE MADE A DEAL.

AND I'D BETTER SEE YOU UP HERE SOMETIME
TODAY, OR YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.

EXCUSE ME. WHY DID I JUST LEAVE?

- COFFEE.
- RIGHT.

GOOD MORNING, SWEETHEART.

DO YOU STILL RESPECT ME?

YOU KNOW I DO.

THERE'S NEVER BEEN ANYONE ELSE.

YOU KNOW THAT.

BUT YOU'VE BEEN
MARRIED TWICE ALREADY.

ACCIDENTS, BOTH OF 'EM.

HEY!

COME ON. WAKE UP, JOHNNY.
YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

- I'VE GOT A MEETING
WITH SOME CLIENTS.
- YEAH. OKAY.

- I'LL GO TO MY APARTMENT.
- YOU DON'T HAVE AN APARTMENT
ANYMORE.

RIGHT. I'LL... I'LL GO FIND ONE.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE
DON'T NOBODY GO NOWHERE ♪

♪ GET ON THE BUS TRAVEL
WITH THE NOWHERE BAND ♪

♪ ATLANTA NEXT STOP CINCINNATI ♪

♪ COME ON, STOP I'M
GETTIN' BATTY... ♪♪

WELL, HOW'S IT GOIN', PAL? I,
UH, CAME RIGHT DOWN. GOOD.

YOU OWE ME. YEAH, I KNOW. LOOK, I,
UH, BROUGHT SOME RECORDS DOWN...

I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE A
LISTEN TO AND, UH... SWELL.

THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN THIS
RECORD JACKET, UH, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.

COMPLIMENTS OF ONSLAUGHT.

YOU KNOW, UH, I WAS TALKIN' TO THE
BOYS LAST NIGHT ON THE COAST. UH...

THEY SAY THEY LOVE YOU.
THEY SAY A MILLION KISSES.

THEY SAY THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM
OF THEIR HEARTS TO A WONDERFUL GUY.

SAMMY DAVIS COULDN'T HAVE
SAID IT MORE BEAUTIFULLY, HUH?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YEAH, THAT'S
NICE. I GOT TO GET BACK ON THE AIR.

YEAH, RIGHT, UH... AND, UH...

HEY, BIG "NOWHERE BAND"
GOOD-BYE, OKAY? MURRAY, I GOT TO GO.

YEAH, SURE YOU DO. GO
GET 'EM, SWEETHEART.

♪ WHO YOU KNOW BACK ON THE BUS,
TRAVEL WITH THE NOWHERE BAND ♪♪

THAT WAS "NOWHERE
BAND" BY THE SOUNDTASTICS.

AND NOW LET'S GIVE
A LITTLE LISTEN... ♪♪

HEY, JOHNNY. YOU STILL HERE?

YEAH, I WAS RACKED OUT
IN THE BACK. AH, GOOD.

- YEAH, IN THE STOREROOM.
- HEY, NO KIDDING.

YEAH.

WHAT'S THIS, SOME NEW RELEASES
FROM ONSLAUGHT? YEAH, I THINK SO.

HEY-HEY, DON'T
TOUCH THEM. WHY NOT?

JUST PUT 'EM DOWN. WHAT
ARE YOU GETTING EDGY ABOUT?

JUST PUT 'EM DOWN,
WILL YOU? WHAT'S THIS?

IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU. A
LITTLE PRESENT HERE FROM MURRAY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT. A LITTLE NOSE CANDY.

WHATEVER THAT IS, IT'S NOT MINE.

DON'T JIVE ME, OKAY? IT'S
NOT MINE, WHATEVER IT IS.

IT'S COCAINE.

I WOULDN'T KNOW. HEY, MAN, LOOK.

I'M NOT TELLING YOU
HOW TO RUN YOUR LIFE,

BUT MURRAY IS TROUBLE
AND THIS IS A FELONY.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, MAN? I'VE
NEVER EVEN SEEN THAT STUFF BEFORE!

IT'S PAYOLA, MAN. IT COULD
COST THE STATION ITS LICENSE.

OH, SO I SUPPOSE YOU'LL TRY AND USE
THIS TO GET YOUR OLD JOB BACK, HUH?

YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE
IT REAL TEMPTING.

OH, GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
YOU TWO GETTING ACQUAINTED?

OH, YEAH. SURE ARE, MR. CARLSON.

WHAT... WHAT'S THAT? THIS, UH...

YOU TELL HIM. YOU'RE DYING TO.

IT'S, UH, FOOT
POWDER, MR. CARLSON.

NO KIDDING. LET...
WELL, LET ME SEE IT.

FOOT POWDER, HUH?

WELL, THERE'S NOT MUCH HERE.

WELL, IT'S, UH, REALLY
POTENT, YOU KNOW?

LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY. YOU
CAN'T GET THIS STUFF IN THE STORES.

IS THAT RIGHT? HEY,
LISTEN. I GOT THIS PROBLEM.

I'VE BEEN BUYING
THESE ODOR-EATERS.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LAST
ABOUT THREE MONTHS. MM-HMM.

THESE SUCKERS TURN
ON ME IN ABOUT 15 DAYS.

CAN I BORROW SOME OF THIS?

TO PUT ON YOUR FEET?

WELL, IF YOU DON'T
MIND. SURE, GO AHEAD.

USE WHATEVER YOU NEED.
IT'S OKAY WITH YOU, DOUGIE?

WHA... OH... YEAH. YEAH. SURE.

OH, THANKS. APPRECIATE THAT.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THIS STUFF WILL WORK?

OH, SURE. UH...

ACTUALLY, THIS IS WHERE THE
CONCEPT OF HAPPY FEET ORIGINATED.

THAT WAS $600 WORTH OF COKE!

TOUGH LUCK.

HEY-HEY... WHAT DO YOU
THINK HE'LL DO WITH IT?

CARLSON'S NO FOOL, MAN.
HE'S GONNA PUT IT ON HIS FEET.

♪♪

OH, HI, TRAVIS. HOW'S IT GOIN'?

MR. CARLSON, I THINK WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TO FIRE DOUG WINNER.

HOW COME?

WELL, SIR... LOOK,
YOU KNOW, THAT I, UH...

I LET THE JOCKS PROGRAM
SOME OF THEIR OWN STUFF. YEAH.

WELL, TWO DAYS AGO, I
TOLD DOUG THAT HE SEEMED

TO BE GIVING A COUPLE
OF SONGS TOO MUCH PLAY.

HE SAID, FINE. BUT
HE DIDN'T STOP.

YOU DON'T THINK THAT KID'S ON
THE TAKE, DO YOU? I'M PRETTY SURE.

I MADE A COUPLE OF CALLS,
AND IT CHECKS OUT. OH.

WELL, WANTED TO SEE ME, ANDY?

YEAH, DOUG. YEAH. YEAH, I DO.

I WANT YOU TO ANSWER A QUESTION FOR
MR. CARLSON AND ME, WOULD YOU, PLEASE?

- SURE.
- YOU TAKIN' PAYOLA?

OH, MAN. I KNEW IT.

- YOU KNEW WHAT?
- THAT JOHNNY WOULD GO TO YOU.

SEE, IF YOU ASK
ME. THE COKE IS HIS.

- I MEAN, I NEVER EVEN SAW
THE STUFF BEFORE, ANDY.
- COKE?

THAT'S RIGHT. AND I THINK JOHNNY
GETS IT FROM SOME RECORD DISTRIBUTOR.

- I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE.
- OH, HE DOES, DOES HE?

THAT'S RIGHT. I DIDN'T
WANT TO SAY ANYTHING.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT
ANYWAY? YOU'RE A LIAR.

OH, COME ON NOW.
EASE OFF, TRAVIS.

I HAVE A LITTLE COKE
EVERY NOW AND THEN.

LOOK, JOHNNY NEVER TOLD ME
ANYTHING ABOUT COCAINE. COCAINE?

BUT I THINK I CAN PUT
ONE AND ONE TOGETHER.

- MR. CARLSON, I'M INNOCENT.
- OF WHAT?

LOOK, IS MURRAY BEHIND THIS?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I-I-I ACCEPTED A
COUPLE OF SMALL GIFTS FROM HIM.

BUT, ANDY, EVERYBODY
DOES IT. NO, THEY DON'T!

NO ONE AROUND HERE
DOES. WELL, I SURE DON'T.

I WAS OFFERED ONE OF THOSE FOLDING TRAVEL
ALARM CLOCKS ONCE. I TURNED THAT DOWN.

LOOK, PAL. I WANT YOU OUT
OF HERE. NOT IN FIVE MINUTES.

I WANT YOU OUT
OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

MR. CARLSON. I THINK
YOU'D BETTER GO, SON.

OKAY. SURE.

SURE.

HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU GUYS ARE
NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF SMALL-TIMERS ANYWAY.

WHERE'S THE COKE? I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS CARLSON
PUTS IT ON HIS FEET.

GOOD HEAVENS! I'VE LOST ALL THE
FEELING IN MY LEFT LEG! NO, NO...

YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. FOR
THE LOVE OF PETE, ANDY, I'M HOOKED!

NO YOU'RE NOT!

I GOT A MONKEY ON MY FOOT.

♪ RED WIGGLERS THE
CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪

♪ WE'RE THE CADILLAC OF WORMS ♪♪

ALL RIGHT, CINCINNATI, SHAPE UP, 'CAUSE
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MORNING CHECKUP.

THE DOCTOR IS ON DUTY.

I HAVE JUST RETURNED FROM
PERSONALLY SUPERVISING...

AN EXTENSIVE RESEARCH PROJECT...

INVOLVING WEST COAST
VEGETABLE-WORSHIP CULTS.

AND THE CURE IS HERE, BABIES. ♪♪

THAT'S RIGHT.
DR. JOHNNY FEVER IS HERE.

I'M ON CALL RIGHT HERE EVERY
MORNING ON WKRP IN CINCINNATI!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪