Vote for Juan (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript
RECALDE MINISTER OF EDUCATION
He's the politician of the present
and for many, of the future.
Nacho Recalde, as well as being
the current Minister of Education,
has a PhD in Physics from
the Complutense University
and has given classes
in Harvard and Stanford.
I've given loads of talks
in loads of places too, I
just don't boast about it.
Like?
I don't have to list them
all for you. Or do I?
Friends of his,
such as Pau Gasol,
David Trueba and
Mario Vargas Llosa
say that he makes
the best paella
that they've ever tasted.
Come on! He's put onion in it!
That isn't a paella, good sir.
That's just rice with stuff.
As everyone knows,
his real passion is
not in fact cooking,
but a person who basketball fans
are beginning to take note of.
His daughter, Blanca Recalde,
who, at just 17 years of age,
won the European championship
with the Spanish
junior basketball team.
He's got great hair, as well.
Excuse me, but nowadays
anyone can get a hair implant.
And what about his aspirations?
And his proposals? Watch out.
There are no implants for that.
Visit tomorrow, the first school
in which the new educational system
that he himself designed
will be implemented,
and which his French counterpart
has expressed interest in.
Onion in a paella?
That's really pathetic!
Rumours are circulating,
but the minister has denied
on multiple occasions that
his aspirations go beyond
his current ministry position.
My key commitment is
to public education,
in the belief, that, in
order to build the country,
we must first educate
our leaders of tomorrow.
Tomorrow isn't just a
run-of-the-mill school visit.
He'll announce his
candidacy for the elections.
Wait, he just said
that he wasn't.
I know his chief
of staff very well
and the amount of hype around a
simple school visit isn't normal.
Believe me, he's going
to do it tomorrow.
Well it might not go to plan.
Let's see, team.
Let's see, come on.
He might have great hair, be
well-educated, and whatever else,
but Spanish people like
to vote for normal people,
people who they can relate to,
not a guy who taught in Stanford!
If he teaches like he
makes paella, we're good.
Recalde doesn't
even like football.
Really? Is it vox populi?
- No, everyone knows it.
- He said it on "El Hormiguero".
He was on the show?
Yes, to surprise Will Smith.
For fuck's sake, let's see,
if Recalde is so high-profile,
can you see if I can
attend tomorrow's ceremony?
It makes no sense for you to
be at another minister's event.
Time out. Time out.
Do you know his chief of
staff? Maybe we can donate
surplus products to
the school canteens.
Milk, for example. "No
child will go without milk".
Very good.
The problem is that there is
no surplus milk this year.
- What is in surplus?
- Wine and artichokes.
It's not really the same thing.
Well, artichokes
are quite detox.
Let's promise milk. We'll see
where we get it from later.
It's for next year.
- And?
- Well it will be a problem if we win.
If we don't, then artichokes.
This won't work.
What've we got to lose?
Our dignity, our credibility,
our team's integrity.
And besides all that, what else?
VOTE FOR JUAN
Is this the best close-up
you've found of Recalde?
- Yes, Minister.
- Zoom in.
Zoom in more.
Zoom in.
- Zoom in.
- I can't zoom in anymore, Minister.
He has a hair implant.
Shit, I knew it!
Look, check out that hair there.
You can see from a mile away
that it has been implanted.
It's like reforestation.
This is definitely an implant.
Well, now that you mention it,
the guy who services my boiler
got a hair implant in
Turkey, this summer.
And I hardly even
recognised him after it.
And is he happy? I
mean, does he look good?
Or does he look a bit like
a doll, like Recalde does?
- He is delighted with it.
- Wow.
And he got a great offer:
free varicose vein surgery.
- Wow.
- For his wife.
- Ah.
- You can't imagine the luxury weekend
they spent together in Istanbul.
What is there in Turkey?
- Mosques?
- No, I mean, food wise?
- Pistachios.
- No, come on, they're from California.
- No, walnuts are from California.
- Yes.
Wait, I think we had
some event in Turkey.
Dates. There are
loads of dates there.
We'll drop the fees so
much they'll be shocked.
This is the event in Turkey.
"International Summit on
Genetically Modified Foods".
It's next month, Minister,
and you're invited.
What exactly do we think about
genetically modified foods?
- I'll have a look and tell you.
- Good.
If we were in favour of them we
could go to Istanbul to sign.
- And if we were against them?
- We'll still go,
to emphasise that
we aren't signing.
And while there...
Well I'll write and
tell them we're going.
A Thursday would be better.
So we could make a long weekend of
it and sort out the other thing.
Do you know how long
it takes to grow?
Because maybe we could delay the
party elections by two weeks,
and appear with my new look.
That's a great idea, Minister. I'll
ask my boiler guy, and Iet you know.
And check out exactly what
genetically modified food is.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Are you okay, ladies?
You don't look great.
No, everything is fine.
This is Macarena, the head
of press for Agriculture.
Pleased to meet you. Sorry you've
caught me looking like this,
- but as you were in such a rush...
- Don't worry.
- Did you see the email I sent you?
- About "Educating for Health"?
- I looked at it.
- And?
Was it your idea?
- Of course.
- So,
Juan wants to come and hog
the camera from Recalde
with surplus milk from Extremadura
which is almost out of date.
Well, it was
partially Juan's idea.
Look, I don't really see it.
I don't understand what is
in it for us if Juan comes
when Nacho is at his prime.
But, don't ask me why,
Nacho has accepted.
Why?
I don't know, it
was you that asked.
Roberto, will Recalde announce
his candidacy for the elections?
We have repeatedly said no.
Yes, I know, but there
are no cameras here now.
One question,
how are things with
Juan for you, ladies?
It depends.
Why are you asking this?
It doesn't matter,
just a thought.
Our favourite Minister
is here to have fun
on "El Hormiguero", let's welcome
our good friend, Juan Carrasco!
What's wrong?
- What?
- You just sort of froze there.
I'm always working, my dear.
I know politics don't
interest you, but do you know
who is the Minister
of Education?
Recalde?
Do you know who he is?
The hot one, with great
hair. Do you know him?
Of course I do, come on.
He's a great fan of mine.
It's just he phoned to
see if I would join him
at a ceremony he's involved
with in a secondary school.
- Really?
- Yes, yes.
He gets quite nervous at
public events, you know?
And he called me as he feels
more confident with me around.
- And is it here in Madrid?
- Yes, it's over in...
No.
You never want to come to
political events, and now you do?
I mean, I'm not interested in the
event. I'm interested in Recalde.
But, why would you be interested in
a Minister of Education and Science?
He is really fit. I'd screw him.
Eva, clean your mouth out!
Well mum gets turned
on by him too.
What did you say?
He was on the TV the
other day, and well...
We talked about it.
We talked about it.
Do you want to sleep next door?
And that woman from the other
day, the "Good morning" one,
she probably gets
turned on by him too.
More than by you.
Why are you saying this?
I'm going.
What is this? A tour de force?
Okay.
You can go.
But the woman from the
other day was nobody.
A woman from Tudela, nobody.
And not a word of this to mum,
because she isn't doing very well.
Now my daughter's insisting on
coming to my events. She's so clingy.
Do you want her to
appear in the photos?
No, please, come on.
I'm not like Recalde
who uses his daughter
to lure people in.
I'm not going to lower
myself to his level
- just to win the party elections.
- How will you win them then?
Why are we taking
such a long route?
Roads are closed
due to the football.
- Who is playing?
- Spain against Lithuania.
- Ah, the Champions League.
- No, Minister.
It's Spain. It's to
qualify for the World Cup.
Of course, of course.
Let's try and win the
head teacher over a bit,
alright, Minister?
She's that lady.
And the kids too.
With a bit of lingua corporis.
Thank you. Hi, guys!
Give me five! That's it!
Minister.
- Pleased to meet you.
- The pleasure is all mine.
Coming back to a
school is always...
Well it brings back memories.
I wasn't here for many years, I
mean, I never had to repeat a year.
And well the teachers even
told me I'd never get a degree.
I wasn't smart enough.
And look at me now, a
Minister. And what about them?
Well?
Probably stuck in the
same job or retired.
And if I wanted, I could
access the databases
and strip them of
their pensions.
Or check out their taxes,
I'm sure to find some
dodgy dealings in there.
You might say: "You're the
Minister of Agriculture".
Well, I'm sure they have
some family member with land,
there'll be some
shambles in there...
But I mean, I wouldn't
actually do this.
I just mean, that I could.
If you'll excuse me, the
Minister has arrived.
- Ah, the other Minister.
- Kids, the Minister!
The other Minister, kids.
No, guys, please. Thank you.
Minister, we are delighted
that you could join us.
- Likewise, thank you.
- Can you sign here?
There? No way. I
won't sign a book.
A book is... will you allow me?
Let's see, a book is...
like a space ship.
It takes us to another world.
And I'm sorry, but I can't
possibly tarnish such a modern
technological object, with
such a worthless signature.
That said, if you want,
- I'll give you a hug.
- Thanks!
How can anyone be that cheesy?
How the hell can a book
be a fucking space ship?
Yeah, but look,
the kids love him.
Yes, because the new syllabus
is making them all dumb.
He might have a lot of hair, but
he has no idea how metaphors work.
Nacho.
- Juan!
- Nacho! How are you?
Thanks for joining
us, I mean it.
How could I miss
this opportunity?
Education is like
a geranium, Nacho.
You water it every day
and the geranium gradually grows
and gets bigger, and more...
It is very important
that we water education.
And this geranium has to
grow with a robust stalk.
Do you get where
I'm going with this?
The geranium is knowledge
and the stalk is...
I'll leave you to
think about it.
What?
Excuse me?
You were thanking
me, weren't you?
If you could come with me to
where the ceremony will be held.
- Perfect.
- This way, please.
- Nacho.
- Come on, kids.
Hi!
- Hi, Eva, how are you?
- Is he here yet?
- Yes, he's inside.
- And my dad?
Sorry? Oh, yes, he is here too.
Are you going to a
party after this?
No, why?
I don't know.
- I'll bring you inside.
- Yes, please.
Come on.
- Hi.
- Where is the press team?
- Okay, thanks. What is this?
- An electronic whiteboard.
- Ah, of course.
- You see, one of the things
I'm promoting from the ministry
is the implementation
of these boards,
following Island's
example, which you know.
Yes, of course. Yes.
- Can I?
- Of course.
Let's see if I can remember.
I've got it, you will love this.
A six, and a four...
What is it?
You have to tell me what it is.
Your face is drawn.
It's just to get the kids to relax a bit,
they get a bit nervous with the power.
- How do you erase this?
- No, Juan.
Juan, you're going to
erase the equation.
In fact, let's see if I can
remember how to do this.
- Will you let me try?
- Of course.
This is the property that says that
the sum of the logarithms equals
- the multiplication of the logarithm.
- That's it.
That is to say, the
logarithm of X minus three
- times X...
- That's it, yes.
- Equals the logarithm of four Xs.
- That's right.
We're left with a
2nd degree equation.
Don't worry. I'll
resolve it quickly.
Yes, because quicker
is always better.
X squared, minus... Minus
three minus four, Juan?
- Seven.
- That's it, that's it.
- Seven minus X equals...
- There.
- Zero.
- Equals zero.
And that will leave us
two results. Firstly...
Two results, kids.
X equals... I don't
want to ruin it.
- No, don't worry.
- Zero.
And secondly,
we will be left
with X equals seven.
X equals seven, and X
equals zero. Is that right?
- Perfect.
- Perfect.
That was very impressive.
Kids, the key to it, is
to always resolve the X.
Nacho.
- I'd like to present my daughter.
- Oh!
Can I give you two kisses?
Of course, as many as you want.
Well, Eva.
That's enough, my love.
- Can we take a photo?
- Of the three of us?
Just us two, it's for Instagram.
Eva, we'll take the photo later,
the ceremony is about to begin.
- We'll do it later, darling.
- Come with me, let's take our seats
and we'll begin
with the ceremony.
- Yes, let's start.
- Juan!
Come up to the front.
I always feel this makes
us seem more approachable.
Oh, of course.
Juan.
I didn't know you
had a daughter.
- Yes, yes.
- I do too.
- Really.
- Yes, she is sitting next to yours.
Years ago my wife and
I travelled to Romania.
Ah.
Yes, it was terrible.
We were in an orphanage...
A terrible place!
Massive rooms, crowded
beds, dirty sheets...
It was so cold...
Well, it was Romania.
And we brought her home.
Your daughter?
We never thought about
ourselves, you know?
Nor my career, or
our interests...
We adopted her.
She had Romanian parents.
Almost certainly obese.
And well, she is
so grateful to us.
Because her siblings are now...
Now gone, you know?
Dimitri, dead.
Oleg, dead. Sasha...
as well.
And she is alive. And in Logroño,
which is obviously much better.
I respect you very much.
Thank you. Don't mention it to
anyone, we don't like people knowing.
- Don't worry. But I respect you.
- I know, I know.
Look.
I've been thinking, and in the
end, I've decided that I will,
it's for the best.
- You will what?
- What you proposed to me.
I would be happy
to join your team.
I never offered you anything.
I'm also not offering
to go with you.
No. I only asked you how
things were with Juan.
Yes, of course.
But well, if you end up deciding
to stand in the party elections,
I think I could help you.
Please.
There's no hurry
but call me, whenever you want.
Now, if possible.
Carmen, please.
Well, fine. Let's go, the
ceremony is about to start.
And before we end
I would like to insist on a matter
which I consider to be very important.
For me, the programme "Educate
in Health, Nurture Values"
isn't just another
obligation in my agenda,
in fact, it's the project which
I hope to be remembered by.
Do you realise?
He's talking about being remembered.
He's thinking beyond this.
And before we end, and move on
to questions, if there are any,
I would like to recall
the words of Hippocrates.
He said:
"Let food be thy medicine
and medicine be thy food".
Or as I like to say:
Mens sana in corpore sano.
And now let's start with your
questions. Who wants to start?
We have a question here.
- What's your name?
- Pedro.
- Okay.
- It's for the Minister of Agriculture.
Well, that's me.
I wanted to ask you about
the agro food policy
in the developing countries.
I'm glad you asked me that
question, because just today
we have got involved in a
great international pact
against genetically modified
products, which we'll sign
in Istanbul this month.
So, I don't mind telling you
that we will be in
Turkey in a few weeks
settling the agreement
and doing a few other things
that I can't tell you about yet,
which are sure to
amaze some of you.
So, are you against GM products?
Completely.
The laboratories begin
by playing with grains
to make more resistant crops
and we end up with
children with deformities.
I'm obviously not
saying it about you.
But haven't food stuffs
always been modified?
- Any more questions? Over there..
- Wait, Juan.
- The girl over...
- If you let me.
I think our friend
Pedro is right.
- Yes...
- A Saturn peach, for example.
A Saturn peach is a mutation
of the standard peach.
Just like... What's
the name of that fruit?
It's like a peach,
but without the fuzz.
- A nectarine.
- Yes, a nectarine.
In fact, there are studies
that show that the implantation
and experimentation
with different varieties
has enabled our
species to survive.
But, you know what? There are
all sorts of studies out there.
And I think the most
important thing now
would be to give our friend
a big round of applause,
because despite his
limitations, he asked a really
smart question, isn't
that right, Nacho?
Are there any more questions?
This is for Minister Recalde.
Go on.
Will you stand for
the party elections?
- The same thing again, right, Juan?
- Yes.
Well, let's see, firstly
being the Minister of Education
and Science is the most important
task that I could aspire to.
However, it is also true
that I am a team player.
Juan knows that well, don't you,
Juan? And if my party believes
that I would be more useful in another
position, I'd have to accept that.
It would be a real pleasure
to help you grow, triumph
and be happy.
And join you in this journey,
in which, together we will build
the Spain of the future.
Thank you, thank you.
- Well, it has been...
- Thank you.
An honour for us that
you have joined us today.
The honour was mine.
And to finish, if you want
your photo with the ministers
let's make two lines:
to the left, for the
Minister of Education,
to the right, the
Minister of Agriculture.
- I'll go over there.
- Don't get overexcited, we know you.
A call coming in from
Brussels. This will be urgent.
I'm sorry guys, I have to
answer. Spain needs me.
Hey, your dad told me.
- What did my dad tell you?
- Wait a second.
- About Romania.
- What?
- We don't have to talk about it.
- About Romania?
I only wanted to
tell you that...
I greatly admire what
your parents have done.
I feel empathy and great
respect for people like you,
for all of the suffering and
pain you must have gone through.
And I promise, that when I become
president, I will fight relentlessly
to ensure that
adoptions like yours
are much more
accessible to everyone.
Okay. Now.
Big smiles!
Hi. Is now a good time?
Well, mate...
Well, it's just a
second, it's just...
to give you my card.
I was the vice-president of the
youth wing of the party in Segovia
and I was also their treasurer.
And I've been working up until
now as Juan's community manager,
writing his speeches, advising him...
You know, doing a bit of everything.
And well, this year I have to
leave the party's youth wing,
but I would like to keep
taking steps forward.
Or wherever. Taking
steps in general.
And I've been
observing how you work
and I think I could fit in
very well with your team.
So... well...
I'll just leave this here and...
You are Martínez Aguilar's
nephew, aren't you?
Yes, yes.
Now, I remember.
He called me to give you a
shot, and I interviewed you.
Of course. Do you remember?
I do remember, yes.
And?
I didn't call you after, did I?
But maybe you forgot or...
No, I write everything down.
Víctor, get out.
Hey!
Don't forget this.
What a son of bitch!
That's why you let Juan
come here, isn't it?
You had it all prepared.
Good luck in the elections.
Good luck to you too.
You're going to need it.
You may have ideas
and proposals,
but you'll have to face
something much worse than that.
Outside of politics, myself
and Juan have nothing.
So, good luck,
you're going to need it.
Romania?
Not now, Eva.
Seriously, dad? Romania?
We'll talk about it at home.
Please.
I wish I had been adopted.
I'm going back to Logroño.
Well, tell your...
tell your mum that
I love her so much.
And that I miss you.
And that...
It wasn't easy.
- They will face Macedonia...
- Is it over now, Minister?
Another rival If you're a
striker, you'll get hit.
It's logical that you will protest
a bit but you have to get up again.
- It's not very cold.
- Everyone has got colds.
- Isn't it that cold?
- Minister, are you okay?
- Well given it's... No.
- It's pouring here.
Yes.
It is here, a wager...
It gets dark here at 16.15, there's
not much sun, but it's not cold.
- Koke! Koke's going to pass...
- No, no I'm fine.
- Let's go.
- And the others?
Can you keep a secret?
Yes, of course.
What is it?
Here comes Isco, he passes
it back to Ander Herrera.
What a shame, he
can't finish it.
The ball to Nolito. Nolito
next to the corner flag.
Good thing the striker came
on for the second half...
Wait, Aspas is in the
area, Aspas kicks it...
What a goal!
Goal!
- I can turn off the radio if you want.
- No, don't worry.
- A goal for Spain! Goal!
- What's the score?
Spain just made a comeback.
We were losing 2-0
right from the start.
They had to put on an extra striker.
He changed things around for them.
Who, Morientes?
No, Aspas.
- Who?
- Iago Aspas.
He's the least
famous of them all.
Wow, and he plays
for Celta de Vigo.
When it seemed
like all was lost,
just like that they
turned it around.
The first goal by Aspas
for the national side.
A goal by this player from Vigo.
A goal by the Spanish striker.
You deserved it, Aspas!
He was the best player
in the second half,
he gave everything...
- What are you doing?
- I'm fine, and you?
Recalde is about to finish
and there are cameras.
Should we go back in?
This hasn't finished, Macarena.
We are going to turn it around.
They'll see who Juan Carrasco
is. Do you have 10 Euros?
I left my wallet at home.
- Do you know what you have to do?
- Yes.
- Are you sure?
- I said, yes.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Should I sign this.
- Please.
- What was your name?
- Rocío.
Rocío. What a beautiful name.
- Juan, have you finished signing.
- It's all done.
It's all done, it's all done.
Well, it has been
a real pleasure
to be here this afternoon.
It has been great,
really great, kids.
- Really great.
- Excuse me, Minister Recalde,
- can I ask you one last question?
- Of course, as many as you wish.
- But not too difficult, okay?
- It's easy.
What did you think about it?
This event? It was marvellous.
No, the Spain game, the
comeback that we made.
- Ah, very good, I'm delighted.
- Are you really delighted?
Yes, I am really delighted.
What's wrong? You didn't know
Spain was playing, did you?
But, Nacho!
We've qualified
for the World Cup!
- Well I'm not a big football fan.
- Seriously, you don't like football?
Ah, perhaps in Stanford you
couldn't get "Carrusel deportivo".
Well, Nacho, I am
happy and very proud,
because what Iago Aspas
did this afternoon,
makes me believe in this
team, and in this country.
We may not have many Nobel Prizes, but
we have the best team in the world.
And I'll just say one thing.
I think it would be immoral
to ask for your vote
if I didn't show the same
passion as you all do.
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
By the way, there's
no onion in paella.
Here we go!
Macarena, get all of the photos
that the journalists have taken.
Today we have started to
win the party elections.
Come on, team!
He's the politician of the present
and for many, of the future.
Nacho Recalde, as well as being
the current Minister of Education,
has a PhD in Physics from
the Complutense University
and has given classes
in Harvard and Stanford.
I've given loads of talks
in loads of places too, I
just don't boast about it.
Like?
I don't have to list them
all for you. Or do I?
Friends of his,
such as Pau Gasol,
David Trueba and
Mario Vargas Llosa
say that he makes
the best paella
that they've ever tasted.
Come on! He's put onion in it!
That isn't a paella, good sir.
That's just rice with stuff.
As everyone knows,
his real passion is
not in fact cooking,
but a person who basketball fans
are beginning to take note of.
His daughter, Blanca Recalde,
who, at just 17 years of age,
won the European championship
with the Spanish
junior basketball team.
He's got great hair, as well.
Excuse me, but nowadays
anyone can get a hair implant.
And what about his aspirations?
And his proposals? Watch out.
There are no implants for that.
Visit tomorrow, the first school
in which the new educational system
that he himself designed
will be implemented,
and which his French counterpart
has expressed interest in.
Onion in a paella?
That's really pathetic!
Rumours are circulating,
but the minister has denied
on multiple occasions that
his aspirations go beyond
his current ministry position.
My key commitment is
to public education,
in the belief, that, in
order to build the country,
we must first educate
our leaders of tomorrow.
Tomorrow isn't just a
run-of-the-mill school visit.
He'll announce his
candidacy for the elections.
Wait, he just said
that he wasn't.
I know his chief
of staff very well
and the amount of hype around a
simple school visit isn't normal.
Believe me, he's going
to do it tomorrow.
Well it might not go to plan.
Let's see, team.
Let's see, come on.
He might have great hair, be
well-educated, and whatever else,
but Spanish people like
to vote for normal people,
people who they can relate to,
not a guy who taught in Stanford!
If he teaches like he
makes paella, we're good.
Recalde doesn't
even like football.
Really? Is it vox populi?
- No, everyone knows it.
- He said it on "El Hormiguero".
He was on the show?
Yes, to surprise Will Smith.
For fuck's sake, let's see,
if Recalde is so high-profile,
can you see if I can
attend tomorrow's ceremony?
It makes no sense for you to
be at another minister's event.
Time out. Time out.
Do you know his chief of
staff? Maybe we can donate
surplus products to
the school canteens.
Milk, for example. "No
child will go without milk".
Very good.
The problem is that there is
no surplus milk this year.
- What is in surplus?
- Wine and artichokes.
It's not really the same thing.
Well, artichokes
are quite detox.
Let's promise milk. We'll see
where we get it from later.
It's for next year.
- And?
- Well it will be a problem if we win.
If we don't, then artichokes.
This won't work.
What've we got to lose?
Our dignity, our credibility,
our team's integrity.
And besides all that, what else?
VOTE FOR JUAN
Is this the best close-up
you've found of Recalde?
- Yes, Minister.
- Zoom in.
Zoom in more.
Zoom in.
- Zoom in.
- I can't zoom in anymore, Minister.
He has a hair implant.
Shit, I knew it!
Look, check out that hair there.
You can see from a mile away
that it has been implanted.
It's like reforestation.
This is definitely an implant.
Well, now that you mention it,
the guy who services my boiler
got a hair implant in
Turkey, this summer.
And I hardly even
recognised him after it.
And is he happy? I
mean, does he look good?
Or does he look a bit like
a doll, like Recalde does?
- He is delighted with it.
- Wow.
And he got a great offer:
free varicose vein surgery.
- Wow.
- For his wife.
- Ah.
- You can't imagine the luxury weekend
they spent together in Istanbul.
What is there in Turkey?
- Mosques?
- No, I mean, food wise?
- Pistachios.
- No, come on, they're from California.
- No, walnuts are from California.
- Yes.
Wait, I think we had
some event in Turkey.
Dates. There are
loads of dates there.
We'll drop the fees so
much they'll be shocked.
This is the event in Turkey.
"International Summit on
Genetically Modified Foods".
It's next month, Minister,
and you're invited.
What exactly do we think about
genetically modified foods?
- I'll have a look and tell you.
- Good.
If we were in favour of them we
could go to Istanbul to sign.
- And if we were against them?
- We'll still go,
to emphasise that
we aren't signing.
And while there...
Well I'll write and
tell them we're going.
A Thursday would be better.
So we could make a long weekend of
it and sort out the other thing.
Do you know how long
it takes to grow?
Because maybe we could delay the
party elections by two weeks,
and appear with my new look.
That's a great idea, Minister. I'll
ask my boiler guy, and Iet you know.
And check out exactly what
genetically modified food is.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Are you okay, ladies?
You don't look great.
No, everything is fine.
This is Macarena, the head
of press for Agriculture.
Pleased to meet you. Sorry you've
caught me looking like this,
- but as you were in such a rush...
- Don't worry.
- Did you see the email I sent you?
- About "Educating for Health"?
- I looked at it.
- And?
Was it your idea?
- Of course.
- So,
Juan wants to come and hog
the camera from Recalde
with surplus milk from Extremadura
which is almost out of date.
Well, it was
partially Juan's idea.
Look, I don't really see it.
I don't understand what is
in it for us if Juan comes
when Nacho is at his prime.
But, don't ask me why,
Nacho has accepted.
Why?
I don't know, it
was you that asked.
Roberto, will Recalde announce
his candidacy for the elections?
We have repeatedly said no.
Yes, I know, but there
are no cameras here now.
One question,
how are things with
Juan for you, ladies?
It depends.
Why are you asking this?
It doesn't matter,
just a thought.
Our favourite Minister
is here to have fun
on "El Hormiguero", let's welcome
our good friend, Juan Carrasco!
What's wrong?
- What?
- You just sort of froze there.
I'm always working, my dear.
I know politics don't
interest you, but do you know
who is the Minister
of Education?
Recalde?
Do you know who he is?
The hot one, with great
hair. Do you know him?
Of course I do, come on.
He's a great fan of mine.
It's just he phoned to
see if I would join him
at a ceremony he's involved
with in a secondary school.
- Really?
- Yes, yes.
He gets quite nervous at
public events, you know?
And he called me as he feels
more confident with me around.
- And is it here in Madrid?
- Yes, it's over in...
No.
You never want to come to
political events, and now you do?
I mean, I'm not interested in the
event. I'm interested in Recalde.
But, why would you be interested in
a Minister of Education and Science?
He is really fit. I'd screw him.
Eva, clean your mouth out!
Well mum gets turned
on by him too.
What did you say?
He was on the TV the
other day, and well...
We talked about it.
We talked about it.
Do you want to sleep next door?
And that woman from the other
day, the "Good morning" one,
she probably gets
turned on by him too.
More than by you.
Why are you saying this?
I'm going.
What is this? A tour de force?
Okay.
You can go.
But the woman from the
other day was nobody.
A woman from Tudela, nobody.
And not a word of this to mum,
because she isn't doing very well.
Now my daughter's insisting on
coming to my events. She's so clingy.
Do you want her to
appear in the photos?
No, please, come on.
I'm not like Recalde
who uses his daughter
to lure people in.
I'm not going to lower
myself to his level
- just to win the party elections.
- How will you win them then?
Why are we taking
such a long route?
Roads are closed
due to the football.
- Who is playing?
- Spain against Lithuania.
- Ah, the Champions League.
- No, Minister.
It's Spain. It's to
qualify for the World Cup.
Of course, of course.
Let's try and win the
head teacher over a bit,
alright, Minister?
She's that lady.
And the kids too.
With a bit of lingua corporis.
Thank you. Hi, guys!
Give me five! That's it!
Minister.
- Pleased to meet you.
- The pleasure is all mine.
Coming back to a
school is always...
Well it brings back memories.
I wasn't here for many years, I
mean, I never had to repeat a year.
And well the teachers even
told me I'd never get a degree.
I wasn't smart enough.
And look at me now, a
Minister. And what about them?
Well?
Probably stuck in the
same job or retired.
And if I wanted, I could
access the databases
and strip them of
their pensions.
Or check out their taxes,
I'm sure to find some
dodgy dealings in there.
You might say: "You're the
Minister of Agriculture".
Well, I'm sure they have
some family member with land,
there'll be some
shambles in there...
But I mean, I wouldn't
actually do this.
I just mean, that I could.
If you'll excuse me, the
Minister has arrived.
- Ah, the other Minister.
- Kids, the Minister!
The other Minister, kids.
No, guys, please. Thank you.
Minister, we are delighted
that you could join us.
- Likewise, thank you.
- Can you sign here?
There? No way. I
won't sign a book.
A book is... will you allow me?
Let's see, a book is...
like a space ship.
It takes us to another world.
And I'm sorry, but I can't
possibly tarnish such a modern
technological object, with
such a worthless signature.
That said, if you want,
- I'll give you a hug.
- Thanks!
How can anyone be that cheesy?
How the hell can a book
be a fucking space ship?
Yeah, but look,
the kids love him.
Yes, because the new syllabus
is making them all dumb.
He might have a lot of hair, but
he has no idea how metaphors work.
Nacho.
- Juan!
- Nacho! How are you?
Thanks for joining
us, I mean it.
How could I miss
this opportunity?
Education is like
a geranium, Nacho.
You water it every day
and the geranium gradually grows
and gets bigger, and more...
It is very important
that we water education.
And this geranium has to
grow with a robust stalk.
Do you get where
I'm going with this?
The geranium is knowledge
and the stalk is...
I'll leave you to
think about it.
What?
Excuse me?
You were thanking
me, weren't you?
If you could come with me to
where the ceremony will be held.
- Perfect.
- This way, please.
- Nacho.
- Come on, kids.
Hi!
- Hi, Eva, how are you?
- Is he here yet?
- Yes, he's inside.
- And my dad?
Sorry? Oh, yes, he is here too.
Are you going to a
party after this?
No, why?
I don't know.
- I'll bring you inside.
- Yes, please.
Come on.
- Hi.
- Where is the press team?
- Okay, thanks. What is this?
- An electronic whiteboard.
- Ah, of course.
- You see, one of the things
I'm promoting from the ministry
is the implementation
of these boards,
following Island's
example, which you know.
Yes, of course. Yes.
- Can I?
- Of course.
Let's see if I can remember.
I've got it, you will love this.
A six, and a four...
What is it?
You have to tell me what it is.
Your face is drawn.
It's just to get the kids to relax a bit,
they get a bit nervous with the power.
- How do you erase this?
- No, Juan.
Juan, you're going to
erase the equation.
In fact, let's see if I can
remember how to do this.
- Will you let me try?
- Of course.
This is the property that says that
the sum of the logarithms equals
- the multiplication of the logarithm.
- That's it.
That is to say, the
logarithm of X minus three
- times X...
- That's it, yes.
- Equals the logarithm of four Xs.
- That's right.
We're left with a
2nd degree equation.
Don't worry. I'll
resolve it quickly.
Yes, because quicker
is always better.
X squared, minus... Minus
three minus four, Juan?
- Seven.
- That's it, that's it.
- Seven minus X equals...
- There.
- Zero.
- Equals zero.
And that will leave us
two results. Firstly...
Two results, kids.
X equals... I don't
want to ruin it.
- No, don't worry.
- Zero.
And secondly,
we will be left
with X equals seven.
X equals seven, and X
equals zero. Is that right?
- Perfect.
- Perfect.
That was very impressive.
Kids, the key to it, is
to always resolve the X.
Nacho.
- I'd like to present my daughter.
- Oh!
Can I give you two kisses?
Of course, as many as you want.
Well, Eva.
That's enough, my love.
- Can we take a photo?
- Of the three of us?
Just us two, it's for Instagram.
Eva, we'll take the photo later,
the ceremony is about to begin.
- We'll do it later, darling.
- Come with me, let's take our seats
and we'll begin
with the ceremony.
- Yes, let's start.
- Juan!
Come up to the front.
I always feel this makes
us seem more approachable.
Oh, of course.
Juan.
I didn't know you
had a daughter.
- Yes, yes.
- I do too.
- Really.
- Yes, she is sitting next to yours.
Years ago my wife and
I travelled to Romania.
Ah.
Yes, it was terrible.
We were in an orphanage...
A terrible place!
Massive rooms, crowded
beds, dirty sheets...
It was so cold...
Well, it was Romania.
And we brought her home.
Your daughter?
We never thought about
ourselves, you know?
Nor my career, or
our interests...
We adopted her.
She had Romanian parents.
Almost certainly obese.
And well, she is
so grateful to us.
Because her siblings are now...
Now gone, you know?
Dimitri, dead.
Oleg, dead. Sasha...
as well.
And she is alive. And in Logroño,
which is obviously much better.
I respect you very much.
Thank you. Don't mention it to
anyone, we don't like people knowing.
- Don't worry. But I respect you.
- I know, I know.
Look.
I've been thinking, and in the
end, I've decided that I will,
it's for the best.
- You will what?
- What you proposed to me.
I would be happy
to join your team.
I never offered you anything.
I'm also not offering
to go with you.
No. I only asked you how
things were with Juan.
Yes, of course.
But well, if you end up deciding
to stand in the party elections,
I think I could help you.
Please.
There's no hurry
but call me, whenever you want.
Now, if possible.
Carmen, please.
Well, fine. Let's go, the
ceremony is about to start.
And before we end
I would like to insist on a matter
which I consider to be very important.
For me, the programme "Educate
in Health, Nurture Values"
isn't just another
obligation in my agenda,
in fact, it's the project which
I hope to be remembered by.
Do you realise?
He's talking about being remembered.
He's thinking beyond this.
And before we end, and move on
to questions, if there are any,
I would like to recall
the words of Hippocrates.
He said:
"Let food be thy medicine
and medicine be thy food".
Or as I like to say:
Mens sana in corpore sano.
And now let's start with your
questions. Who wants to start?
We have a question here.
- What's your name?
- Pedro.
- Okay.
- It's for the Minister of Agriculture.
Well, that's me.
I wanted to ask you about
the agro food policy
in the developing countries.
I'm glad you asked me that
question, because just today
we have got involved in a
great international pact
against genetically modified
products, which we'll sign
in Istanbul this month.
So, I don't mind telling you
that we will be in
Turkey in a few weeks
settling the agreement
and doing a few other things
that I can't tell you about yet,
which are sure to
amaze some of you.
So, are you against GM products?
Completely.
The laboratories begin
by playing with grains
to make more resistant crops
and we end up with
children with deformities.
I'm obviously not
saying it about you.
But haven't food stuffs
always been modified?
- Any more questions? Over there..
- Wait, Juan.
- The girl over...
- If you let me.
I think our friend
Pedro is right.
- Yes...
- A Saturn peach, for example.
A Saturn peach is a mutation
of the standard peach.
Just like... What's
the name of that fruit?
It's like a peach,
but without the fuzz.
- A nectarine.
- Yes, a nectarine.
In fact, there are studies
that show that the implantation
and experimentation
with different varieties
has enabled our
species to survive.
But, you know what? There are
all sorts of studies out there.
And I think the most
important thing now
would be to give our friend
a big round of applause,
because despite his
limitations, he asked a really
smart question, isn't
that right, Nacho?
Are there any more questions?
This is for Minister Recalde.
Go on.
Will you stand for
the party elections?
- The same thing again, right, Juan?
- Yes.
Well, let's see, firstly
being the Minister of Education
and Science is the most important
task that I could aspire to.
However, it is also true
that I am a team player.
Juan knows that well, don't you,
Juan? And if my party believes
that I would be more useful in another
position, I'd have to accept that.
It would be a real pleasure
to help you grow, triumph
and be happy.
And join you in this journey,
in which, together we will build
the Spain of the future.
Thank you, thank you.
- Well, it has been...
- Thank you.
An honour for us that
you have joined us today.
The honour was mine.
And to finish, if you want
your photo with the ministers
let's make two lines:
to the left, for the
Minister of Education,
to the right, the
Minister of Agriculture.
- I'll go over there.
- Don't get overexcited, we know you.
A call coming in from
Brussels. This will be urgent.
I'm sorry guys, I have to
answer. Spain needs me.
Hey, your dad told me.
- What did my dad tell you?
- Wait a second.
- About Romania.
- What?
- We don't have to talk about it.
- About Romania?
I only wanted to
tell you that...
I greatly admire what
your parents have done.
I feel empathy and great
respect for people like you,
for all of the suffering and
pain you must have gone through.
And I promise, that when I become
president, I will fight relentlessly
to ensure that
adoptions like yours
are much more
accessible to everyone.
Okay. Now.
Big smiles!
Hi. Is now a good time?
Well, mate...
Well, it's just a
second, it's just...
to give you my card.
I was the vice-president of the
youth wing of the party in Segovia
and I was also their treasurer.
And I've been working up until
now as Juan's community manager,
writing his speeches, advising him...
You know, doing a bit of everything.
And well, this year I have to
leave the party's youth wing,
but I would like to keep
taking steps forward.
Or wherever. Taking
steps in general.
And I've been
observing how you work
and I think I could fit in
very well with your team.
So... well...
I'll just leave this here and...
You are Martínez Aguilar's
nephew, aren't you?
Yes, yes.
Now, I remember.
He called me to give you a
shot, and I interviewed you.
Of course. Do you remember?
I do remember, yes.
And?
I didn't call you after, did I?
But maybe you forgot or...
No, I write everything down.
Víctor, get out.
Hey!
Don't forget this.
What a son of bitch!
That's why you let Juan
come here, isn't it?
You had it all prepared.
Good luck in the elections.
Good luck to you too.
You're going to need it.
You may have ideas
and proposals,
but you'll have to face
something much worse than that.
Outside of politics, myself
and Juan have nothing.
So, good luck,
you're going to need it.
Romania?
Not now, Eva.
Seriously, dad? Romania?
We'll talk about it at home.
Please.
I wish I had been adopted.
I'm going back to Logroño.
Well, tell your...
tell your mum that
I love her so much.
And that I miss you.
And that...
It wasn't easy.
- They will face Macedonia...
- Is it over now, Minister?
Another rival If you're a
striker, you'll get hit.
It's logical that you will protest
a bit but you have to get up again.
- It's not very cold.
- Everyone has got colds.
- Isn't it that cold?
- Minister, are you okay?
- Well given it's... No.
- It's pouring here.
Yes.
It is here, a wager...
It gets dark here at 16.15, there's
not much sun, but it's not cold.
- Koke! Koke's going to pass...
- No, no I'm fine.
- Let's go.
- And the others?
Can you keep a secret?
Yes, of course.
What is it?
Here comes Isco, he passes
it back to Ander Herrera.
What a shame, he
can't finish it.
The ball to Nolito. Nolito
next to the corner flag.
Good thing the striker came
on for the second half...
Wait, Aspas is in the
area, Aspas kicks it...
What a goal!
Goal!
- I can turn off the radio if you want.
- No, don't worry.
- A goal for Spain! Goal!
- What's the score?
Spain just made a comeback.
We were losing 2-0
right from the start.
They had to put on an extra striker.
He changed things around for them.
Who, Morientes?
No, Aspas.
- Who?
- Iago Aspas.
He's the least
famous of them all.
Wow, and he plays
for Celta de Vigo.
When it seemed
like all was lost,
just like that they
turned it around.
The first goal by Aspas
for the national side.
A goal by this player from Vigo.
A goal by the Spanish striker.
You deserved it, Aspas!
He was the best player
in the second half,
he gave everything...
- What are you doing?
- I'm fine, and you?
Recalde is about to finish
and there are cameras.
Should we go back in?
This hasn't finished, Macarena.
We are going to turn it around.
They'll see who Juan Carrasco
is. Do you have 10 Euros?
I left my wallet at home.
- Do you know what you have to do?
- Yes.
- Are you sure?
- I said, yes.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Should I sign this.
- Please.
- What was your name?
- Rocío.
Rocío. What a beautiful name.
- Juan, have you finished signing.
- It's all done.
It's all done, it's all done.
Well, it has been
a real pleasure
to be here this afternoon.
It has been great,
really great, kids.
- Really great.
- Excuse me, Minister Recalde,
- can I ask you one last question?
- Of course, as many as you wish.
- But not too difficult, okay?
- It's easy.
What did you think about it?
This event? It was marvellous.
No, the Spain game, the
comeback that we made.
- Ah, very good, I'm delighted.
- Are you really delighted?
Yes, I am really delighted.
What's wrong? You didn't know
Spain was playing, did you?
But, Nacho!
We've qualified
for the World Cup!
- Well I'm not a big football fan.
- Seriously, you don't like football?
Ah, perhaps in Stanford you
couldn't get "Carrusel deportivo".
Well, Nacho, I am
happy and very proud,
because what Iago Aspas
did this afternoon,
makes me believe in this
team, and in this country.
We may not have many Nobel Prizes, but
we have the best team in the world.
And I'll just say one thing.
I think it would be immoral
to ask for your vote
if I didn't show the same
passion as you all do.
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here we go!
By the way, there's
no onion in paella.
Here we go!
Macarena, get all of the photos
that the journalists have taken.
Today we have started to
win the party elections.
Come on, team!