Victorious (2010–2013): Season 2, Episode 11 - Terror on Cupcake Street - full transcript

Christopher Cane presents
an evening with Victorious.

Good evening and welcome.

My name is Christopher Cane.

I am an actor.

Most of you more likely know me
as "Rex", the sassy sidekick

to Robbie, from the television
program, Victorious.

Tonight, I will be interviewing
my castmates from Victorious,

including the truly
magnificent star of the show,

miss Victoria justice, herself.

You'll also be seeing some
of their hilarious bloopers,

and behind-the-scenes shenanigans.



But first, a special treat.

Please have a look at my very
first audition for Victorious.

Can you tell me where
mister Sikowitz's class is?

You will find mister
Sikowitz down the hall.

Simply take a a left at the water fountain

um, hang on, hang on...
Hang on a second.

Yes?

Could you try it again, but,
like, with more attitude, and...

Oh, can you do a realistic
American urban accent?

Hmmm.

American urban.

All right, I'll give it a go.

Sikowitz.

Down the hall, swing a left
at the water fountain,



second door on your right.

Was that more in the zone?

Oh yeah. Perfect, perfect.

That afternoon, I was
offered the role of Rex,

which I graciously accepted.

Soon thereafter, I joined a
fantastic bevy of actors,

one of whom you're about to meet.

He first came to prominence
as "young simba"

in the Broadway version of the lion king.

He's followed with memorable
guest appearances on iCarly

and other television shows
of lesser importance.

Today, we know him best as
"andre harris", the sensitive

myoo-zissian and quintessential
best friend to Tori,

on the hit show Victorious.

A warm welcome to Leon Thomas.

Tell me a secret.

A secret?

Anything.

Okay...
Well... oh.

Sometimes, I put mustard on my pizza.

Stop it.

It's true.

You maniac.

So, playing "andre"

on Victorious...
Is it a challenge?

Well, y'know, sometimes
it can definitely be...

Let's take a look at some of your bloopers.

I'm sorry?

Your bloopers.

The times where you were acting,
but failed hilariously.

Sure, we can do that.

I wasn't asking for your permission.

Let's have a look.

Okay, people.

Find us an s and h... hold up.

If we find?

Okay, people.

We find us an s and an h and
we got us a private con... ke...

Concert.

Almost had it.

Okay, people.

We find us an s and h and
we got us a private...

Now see, the pressure's on.

Never been with a girl like
you every dream - oh. What?

We're all going to come down to
set and watch... - let's hold.

We're all going to come
down to set and watch... ooh!

I wasn't even ready for it.

Hey...

And cut.

I'm not supposed to talk there.

... The studio, um.

Nah... really.

I killed you dog. I killed you.

Oh, I feel that in my soul.

Marvelous. Apple juice?

No, thanks.

You don't care for juiced apples?

Not right now. I'm good.

So, tell me more about Victorious.

I actually remember this
one time when I was doin'

a scene with Victoria and
ariana, and we had just...

You know, I'm even more excited
to chat with our next guest.

She plays a most unique type
of nasty girl on Victorious.

I recall the first time I met Elizabeth...

It was at our final audition,
and she asked me if I could

point her toward the ladies' loo.

Prior to that, I had the
good fortune of seeing

her perform on Broadway
in the musical thirteen.

Now, she plays Jade west... a
wicked thorn in the shapely ribs

of Tori Vega.

I give you, Elizabeth, or
dare I say, Liz gillies.

Thank you for that sweet introduction.

If you were a bottle of shampoo,
what would be your fragrance?

My...My fragrance?

Yes, in perfect world you smell like what?

Uhhhhh... I dunno...
Maybe like a combo of like

vanilla and mint?

Wrong.

Wrong?

You would smell of lilac and roasted nuts.

Uh, okay...
That sounds pretty cool, too.

Let's talk about socks.

Socks?

Should socks be more like gloves,
with small sleeves into which

each toe could be inserted?

Uh, no, not really.

I think normal socks work pretty well.

Shall we view your bloopers?

Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure.

Do you have them here, like, cued up?

Yes, view them with me by gazing at this

high definition monitor.

Sure.

You know you can't sing here.

Why would we want to?

I forgot. I remember now.

I got to take care of Trina.

You wanna stay here and... you
wanna stay here and help k...

I'm so sorry.

You wanna stay here
and h... oh my gosh.

Can I just see the line?

I'm really sorry.

I feel awful right now.

I'm really... I'm so sorry.

Well, now maybe you know
what it feels like to have

someone plan something and then
you... and then someone ruins it.

Hold.

Okay.

It's a tongue twister.

I swear.

They're bent!

They've lost their sizz!

Oh my God!

What are you doing?!

Ahh! Oh my God.

Well, Liz, it seems that
even a professional actress

such as yourself occasionally
flubs her dialogue.

Y'know, I think the
whole cast of Victorious

is usually pretty good about
knowing their lines, but sometimes

for whatever reason... -
now let's meet someone

really interesting.

He plays the dashing yet
boyishly charming young actor

on Victorious.

He was born in Canada, but
soon escaped and came

to America where he pursued his
dream of becoming a champion

in the mixed martial arts.

But after being brutally beaten
dozens of times, he decided

to try his hand at acting,
and promptly landed the role

of Beck oliver on Victorious.

I welcome him. Avan jogia.

Great to be here.

Well, well, in light of
your good looks, I dare say

I'm being outhandsomed right about now.

I kid, I kid.

So, avan, what kind of last name is jogia?

Uh, that's actually a
really interesting story.

It certainly was.

Tell me this...
If you could only have

one superpower, would you
choo the ability to fly

or to ride a bicycle?

Well, um...
I already know how to ride a bike.

Then you've made your choice.

- Well, actually, I didn't
choose, uh... - I'm going to show

the audience your bloopers.

What?

Your bloopers.

Oh, from Victorious?

Well, I don't mean your
bloopers from the bathtub.

Please, just try not to speak.

Now let's have a look.

Good evening.

We're from hollywood... sorry.

Sorry.

She didn't get you
anything for your birthday?

She got me the last lemonade.

Can of lemon.

I'm not following your cool guy logic.

Girls like guys who
ride... what's my line?

So I hear some of you
guys are going to cancun.

No?

I hear... - Yerba.

Yerba.

Yeah. One more time.

Where's the ice cream?

Yeah.

Didn't you get some more?

No. Check out... k... check...
Where's the ice cream?

Yeah.

Didn't you get some more?

Nope.

Check out ch-ke$ha's latest update.

Last update.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay. I got this.

If I can only stand
straight in these heels.

Well.
You certainly screw up a lot.

Apple juice?

No, thanks.

Talk to me about acting.

Oh, um you know as an
actor no matter how much

you uh prepare you never...
Who's ready to meet

someone truly special?

For this next young lady is as
hilarious as she is effervescent.

With her sparkling red hair
you can practically spot

this girl from a heelio-copter.

Her character on Victorious
is whimsical and, often,

a bit lacking in the old noggin.

But in real life she's
as sharp as a shih tzu,

and bursting with talent.

I speak of the delightful, red-headed...
Ariana Grande.

Uh, I'm sorry.

I'm not ariana Grande.

Clearly.

Would you please get ariana?

Well... they...
They just told me I was next.

Ariana's still getting ready.

Well, then, I suppose
we'll just wait for her.

Um, while we're waiting maybe
you'd like to interview me?

All right.

This is vanilla bonet.

Daniella monet.

Yes, she portrays Trina on Victorious.

Yep, I play Trina, who's
Tori's older sister...

Tell me about ariana.

Uh, well, ariana's a lot
of fun to work with because

she's either like... - question...
- Okay.

Do you ever sit up in your bedroom at night

and think to yourself,
"wouldn't it be grand if I,

daniella monet, were
actually ariana Grande?"

No. I'm very happy being me.

Really?

Yeah.

Uh, listen maybe we should just take a look

at my bloopers from Victorious.

Well, I suppose that's as
good a way to kill time as any.

Off we go.

- From now on, I'm calling
this city, "she-cago!"

I just spit.

I know.

I should've kept going, but
it was just drool, you know.

No, no, no. Seriously.

I'll sing or dance.

Or I could just stand on the froat... float.
Like right in front.

And just... sorry.
I tried to keep going.

Fazzini boots.

Got 'em at symone's on sale.

Oh!

Oh!

Sorry.

I mean I'm not going to stop.

Hi, can I get a five o'clock
appointment for a flip...

So listen, I'm totally
going to win... sorry.

I tried to, but then he
called the flight attendant,

who called the sky Marshall.

And then they escorted me out of class.

- If you're done with it, put
your garbage... - hey! Hey kid!

Stop kicking my seat!

I don't know how I can say, "so" to that.

That... my total bad.

- You just got called
out by a nine-year old.

Well...
Why don't we go to commercial?

But don't stray, for in
just a moment, I'll be back

with far more compelling
stars from Victorious,

including ariana Grande, Matt
Bennett, and the incomparable

Victoria justice.

And we're back.

We are back, are we not?

We are, sir.

Excellent.

So far we've met several
of the wonderful actors

who bring Victorious to life.

And now, the time has come
to meet one of my favorites,

and I'm sure, one of yours, too.

I give you the incomparable,
red-velvety ariana Grande.

Hi, Christopher.

Hi, indeed.

My, what a fetching dress.

Is that an original kris dangl?

Um, yes it is.

Mmmm.

And how much did that cost?

I really don't know.

C'mon. Like a thousand?

Was it a thousand dollars?

I don't think it cost nearly that much.

Yes, of course it did.

Apple juice?

No, thanks.

So stupid.

So you also come from a
Broadway theater background?

Yeah, I was in the original
Broadway cast of thirteen

the musical, with Liz gillies.

Curly fries or straight?

Well, I really like waffle fries.

Did I mention waffle fries?!

- But I thought this... - I
didn't ask you what you thought!

I asked if you liked Curly fries
or straight and then you ruined

my evening!

Forgive me.

It's okay.

I'm been having some personal issues.

I totally understand.

So, shall we take a look
at your Victorious bloopers?

Sure.

- Here we are...
- Jay David take one.

Look at the new costume I made.

I'm li... I mean... I was about
to say I'm little bo peep.

I almost told them. I'm sorry.

What?

I forgot everything.

And cut.

I was going to say don't tell anyone.

Me, Andre, Robbie, Beck, and Cat.

Whoa. I'm Cat.

Oh yeah, and then Jade will
get to play your role.

Part. Part.

Part.

Oh yeah, and then Jade will
get to play your role.

Part.

Oh my God.

Oh yeah, and then Jade
will get to play your role.

Part.

I'm gonna kick myself. Okay.

Oh, and then Jade will
get to play your role.

Part!

Can I do it again?

And cut it.

Oh my.

Contrary to what many people
think, my next guest is not

Andy Samberg.

One can know that simply by
looking at his paycheck.

Nevertheless, the actor you're
about to meet is multi-talented.

He's not only a master at
comedy, but also plays guitar

and can give any harmonica a fierce blow.

Now, here he is.

An awkward young man who's
certainly "had a hand"

in my own success.

Matthew Bennett.

How ya doin'?

Quite well, quite well.

So, I suppose this is the
first time the audience

is seeing the two of us together,
yet "separate", as it were.

- Yepty-doo!

Please don't say that.

It irritates me in ways I can't understand.

Sorry.

Yes, now, on Victorious, my
character, Rex, is often rude

and insulting to your character, Robbie.

No. Yes. Yeah.

But in real life, Matthew
and I are fast friends.

Uh, no. In real life,
you're also very mean.

Oh stop.

No, you are.

Well, if I am, it's only
because you're an idiot.

I see.

What is your favorite snack, idiot?

Uhhh... popcorn!

Duhhh! Popcorn! Derrrrrr.

You don't have to mock me.

Don't I, Matthew?

Seriously, don't I?

Could we just watch my bloopers?

Let's give it a peek.

Your life will be a disappointment.

Cut!

That's not the line, is it?

Beck will be playing a guy
from england whose accent...

Thank you for welcoming us
into your fine home, but don't

forget to thank yourself.

Because without you, none
of this would be possible.

Without you, something, dreams, America.

Let me try that line again.

Yes.

Thanks for welcoming us into
your fine home, but don't

forget to thank yourself.

Because if you just believe
in your dreams, then you can

make the world come true.

Cut.

All right, it's starting
to get hot in here.

Slap that... no!

No! No! No!

Hold.

Rock and roll. I got slimed.

From around here or, yeah.

Oops.

Well, you are a mess.

Uh, that last one wasn't me.

Yes, it was.

No, it was Mikey reid.

He plays sinjin.

Oh, what's the difference?

Uh, he's not me.

Please go.

Well, now my next guest is no
stranger to anyone with eyes

or nostrils.

She can turn the world on with her smile.

She can take a nothing day,
and suddenly make it

seem like a delicious crab salad.

People of the world and Wisconsin,
I give you the pusillanimous

miss Victoria justice.

Hello!

Good heavens you're gorgeous.

Oh c'mon, Christopher.

Look at those glorious little cheek bones.

Stop! You're embarrassing me.

Yes, I'm a bad boy, aren't I?

Apple juice?

Yeah, thanks! I'd love some.

I'm sorry, this is the last of it.

Um, ok.

You played "lola"

on Zoey 101.

I did.

I never watched it!

Oh, well, it was a good show.

If you were a fruit, would you
want to be sliced, or juiced?

I dunno... juiced?

Of course!

Finally, someone who gets it.

Now, I'm going to say a
word and then you say

the first word that comes in to
your beautiful feminine head.

Ok, sounds fun!

I'm in love with you.

Uh...I thought you were going
to say a word and then...

I'm not joking.

I'm deadly serious.

I think about you day and night.

Look I'm not really looking
to date anyone right now.

I'm not suggesting we date.

I'm talking about the two of us
spending our lives together.

- Well...
- Don't toy with my affections!

Aren't you married?

Yes.

Someone call my lawyer,
I'm done with my wife.

I'm trading up!

Hey!

Yes? Yes, my sweet?

Forget it!

Of course.

I've embarrassed myself.

Yeah, a little!

I can't believe I didn't edit this out.

But I might feel better
if you were to kiss me!

Stop.

You mean go?

No!

You mean yes?

I'm serious!

You're joking?

Dude!

All right.

Shall we take a look at your bloopers?

Yeah.

Then let us pivot our heads.

Hold!

Sorry.

I couldn't turn around. Sorry.

Hit it, muchacha.

Suddenly my choice is clear clear
clear clear - no. I...I c...

Now I'm amused.

Trina has been dying for these.

I had to go... listen.

And if I don't... I...

Let's do that again.

I spoke a different language.

Awesome.

Hold!

Okay.

Should I walk in again?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

This show is over.

I thank you all for joining me
in this behind-the-scenelolook

into the inner workings of the
television show, Victorious.

And now, as you might hear my
alter-ego, Rex, say on the show...

"I'm spiked out
and I handle my bidness."

Goodnight.