Victor & Valentino (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Lonely Haunts Club - full transcript
Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day, Vic and Val take on a dare to explore a haunted mansion with their rivals, Charlene and Pineapple.
Aah!
- -Whoa!
- -Whoa!
- Bleh!
- Gross!
What is it with
all this mushy nonsense?
- And why are there
- pink and red butts everywhere?
Those aren't
pink and red butts.
They are hearts.
It's the Day of Love...
Día de los Amantes!
They say if you kiss
on El Día de los Amantes,
you will stay together
forever.
Whoever invented this holiday
is a sick, sick man.
Or woman.
- Either way, - it's sick.
Sick, I tell you!
Well, lucky for me,
I have two handsome dates
to see my favorite
romantic movie, "Love Tornado."
There is nothing
I would rather do tonight
than see this movie
with you boys.
Three tickets, please.
Sorry,
only one ticket left.
See you after the movie,
niños!
Grandma's game is cold.
At least we don't have to
see "Love Tornado."
- -Aah!
- -Aah!
- Hi, Charlene - and Pineapple.
I thought
I smelled rotten meat.
Shame the movie's
sold out.
But Pineapple and I are going
to an abandoned mansion
to see the ghost
that haunts it.
Yeah, so?
Well, I wanted to see
if you wanted to come
ghost hunting with us?
Ghost hunting
with you?
We'll pass, thanks.
Aw, what's the matter?
Scared?
Ah! My wax hole!
- I'm not scared - of anything!
- That's why they call me
- Victor the Contagious!
- -It's "courageous."
- -Whatever.
See, Pineapple, I told you
they were scaredy-cats.
Meow.
- Hey, you take
- that cat impression back!
- I'm not afraid of anything!
- Let's go!
- Wait, Vic!
- They're our rivals.
They're probably trying
to trick us.
- We'll let - you chickens
figure it out.
Wait! I'm no chicken.
We're in.
Good.
Good!
This is the house where
one of the early settlers
of Monte Macabre lived.
He was a painter who created
many of the murals in town.
He fell in love
with an amazing woman...
his amante...
And covered the town
with beautiful murals of her.
But it would all lead to ruin
when, on their wedding day,
she left him at the altar.
He died of a broken heart.
Legend has it,
his ghost awakens
every Día de los Amantes,
seeking revenge.
If he thinks
you're his amante,
he will appear and turn you
into a painting... forever!
Aah!
I mean cool.
Let's summon him
by tricking him into thinking
his amante has returned.
- How are we
- supposed to do that?
Hmm. Well, she's always painted
with flowers in her hair.
So pick some flowers.
Uh...
Now give them to me.
Thank you.
- -Ugh!
- -Aah!
So, did we summon
El Pintor?
Let's go into the house
and find out.
Yes, I can sense him.
Welcome to the abode
of El Pintor!
- This is ridiculous.
- Come on, Vic.
You don't want to go in this
house with these creepy creeps.
Join me, Vic.
Join me.
Leave, Val.
Uh...
It's okay
if you're too scared.
I'm not too scared!
Seriously?
- Can't you see
- she's manipulating
- Your vulnerable sense
- of masculinity?!
- Pineapple, surely
- you don't believe...
Uh, Pineapple?
Hello?!
Pineapple?
Whoa!
Where am I?
Oh, a door!
W-W-Was that the ghost?
He awakens!
- Well, good!
- Wake him up! I'll put him right back to sleep!
Uh, hey, wait up!
Those creeps
are up to something.
I know it.
Huh?
El Pintor?
Pineapple?!
Hey!
"Plan... Bring Vic and Val
to spooky house.
Kidnap Val.
Make ghosty sounds.
Día de los Amantes kiss!"
I knew it!
There is no El Pintor!
- Charlene brought Vic here
- for a date.
- If I don't stop them
- from kissing,
- Vic will be stuck
- with her forever!
The ghost is close!
Ooh!
Romantic poetry!
Maybe if you read
some love poems out loud,
El Pintor
will show himself.
Lame. But I guess if it brings
out the ghost, I'll do it!
Make sure you read it
convincingly.
"Love is so kind.
Love is so true.
Love is the best
when it's me and y-you"?
Hmm. Maybe El Pintor
is in the hallway.
Yeah, let's go!
Hey! Did the eyes
in that painting just blink?
- He's looking - for his amante!
Quick! We need to make him
think we're her!
- But he's gonna see
- that there's two of us.
Unless we pretend
to be one.
I know! If we hold hands
and walk side by side,
- he'll think
- we're one person!
Great idea, Victor!
Follow my lead.
This foot,
that foot.
Left foot,
other left foot.
Left foot, that foot.
This foot, that foot.
Other left foot!
Oh, look!
A romantic dinner!
I bet if we sit down and start
eating together by candlelight,
he'll finally appear!
-Great idea, Victor.
Stupid ghosts.
- They're so easy - to trick.
Wow, Victor!
You're so smart.
- Wait, - what's that sound?
- The ghost must be
- about to appear!
You did it, Victor!
Of course I did it.
I'm a didder.
All right, Vic,
where are you?!
Are you there, Vic?
Pineapple!
Aah!
El Pintor!
He draws closer!
I'm glad I brought my protective
"ghost shield" potion.
Want some?
Uh, there's no more left.
- Oh.
- Well, I can just share
Some of the protective ghost
shield potion that's on my lips.
Here.
Uh... here goes nothing.
Don't... Don't do it, Vic!
Charlene tricked you into
going on a date with her!
What?! I don't know what
he's talking about.
Val, look out!
El Pintor
has materialized!
Boo!
El Pintor.
There is no El Pintor.
See?
She brought you up here
for a Día de los Amantes date!
Hold your horses, Val.
I have definitely
not been on a date.
Alls I've been doing is picking
flowers, reading love poems,
holding hands, having
a romantic dinner for two,
and about to share
a Día de los Amantes kiss!
No!
Pineapple, please tell me
you're doing this.
He's real!
Aah!
You cannot leave!
Please don't turn us
into paintings!
I don't understand art!
I'm not going to
turn you into anything.
I'm just so lonely!
Do you have any idea
how sad it is
to spend every
Día de los Amantes alone?
I used to eat lunch by myself
in the second grade.
It was a rough time
in my life.
Second grade can be painful.
- Well, we aren't - your amante,
- But we could spend some time
- with you.
Yes, I've always wanted
to dine with the dead.
Oh!
I'd like that very much.
Thank you, children.
I am so overjoyed
by your visit.
I think it has inspired
my best work in decades.
It's looking great!
- Ya know, Charlene -
- I actually had
- a pretty okay time.
Maybe Día de los Amantes isn't
such a bad holiday after all.
- But I'm still glad we didn't
- end up together forever, though.
Well, after hearing you
scream like a baby,
I'm not sure you're
boyfriend material anyway.
Oh, yeah?
I could be if I wanted to!
Anyway, El Pintor knows
I wasn't afraid of him.
Right, guy?
Yes, fantastic!
So maybe you'll come back to
see me next Día de los Amantes.
Yes! We'll all come back
and see you.
We'll call ourselves
the Lonely Haunts Club!
- -Whoa!
- -Whoa!
- Bleh!
- Gross!
What is it with
all this mushy nonsense?
- And why are there
- pink and red butts everywhere?
Those aren't
pink and red butts.
They are hearts.
It's the Day of Love...
Día de los Amantes!
They say if you kiss
on El Día de los Amantes,
you will stay together
forever.
Whoever invented this holiday
is a sick, sick man.
Or woman.
- Either way, - it's sick.
Sick, I tell you!
Well, lucky for me,
I have two handsome dates
to see my favorite
romantic movie, "Love Tornado."
There is nothing
I would rather do tonight
than see this movie
with you boys.
Three tickets, please.
Sorry,
only one ticket left.
See you after the movie,
niños!
Grandma's game is cold.
At least we don't have to
see "Love Tornado."
- -Aah!
- -Aah!
- Hi, Charlene - and Pineapple.
I thought
I smelled rotten meat.
Shame the movie's
sold out.
But Pineapple and I are going
to an abandoned mansion
to see the ghost
that haunts it.
Yeah, so?
Well, I wanted to see
if you wanted to come
ghost hunting with us?
Ghost hunting
with you?
We'll pass, thanks.
Aw, what's the matter?
Scared?
Ah! My wax hole!
- I'm not scared - of anything!
- That's why they call me
- Victor the Contagious!
- -It's "courageous."
- -Whatever.
See, Pineapple, I told you
they were scaredy-cats.
Meow.
- Hey, you take
- that cat impression back!
- I'm not afraid of anything!
- Let's go!
- Wait, Vic!
- They're our rivals.
They're probably trying
to trick us.
- We'll let - you chickens
figure it out.
Wait! I'm no chicken.
We're in.
Good.
Good!
This is the house where
one of the early settlers
of Monte Macabre lived.
He was a painter who created
many of the murals in town.
He fell in love
with an amazing woman...
his amante...
And covered the town
with beautiful murals of her.
But it would all lead to ruin
when, on their wedding day,
she left him at the altar.
He died of a broken heart.
Legend has it,
his ghost awakens
every Día de los Amantes,
seeking revenge.
If he thinks
you're his amante,
he will appear and turn you
into a painting... forever!
Aah!
I mean cool.
Let's summon him
by tricking him into thinking
his amante has returned.
- How are we
- supposed to do that?
Hmm. Well, she's always painted
with flowers in her hair.
So pick some flowers.
Uh...
Now give them to me.
Thank you.
- -Ugh!
- -Aah!
So, did we summon
El Pintor?
Let's go into the house
and find out.
Yes, I can sense him.
Welcome to the abode
of El Pintor!
- This is ridiculous.
- Come on, Vic.
You don't want to go in this
house with these creepy creeps.
Join me, Vic.
Join me.
Leave, Val.
Uh...
It's okay
if you're too scared.
I'm not too scared!
Seriously?
- Can't you see
- she's manipulating
- Your vulnerable sense
- of masculinity?!
- Pineapple, surely
- you don't believe...
Uh, Pineapple?
Hello?!
Pineapple?
Whoa!
Where am I?
Oh, a door!
W-W-Was that the ghost?
He awakens!
- Well, good!
- Wake him up! I'll put him right back to sleep!
Uh, hey, wait up!
Those creeps
are up to something.
I know it.
Huh?
El Pintor?
Pineapple?!
Hey!
"Plan... Bring Vic and Val
to spooky house.
Kidnap Val.
Make ghosty sounds.
Día de los Amantes kiss!"
I knew it!
There is no El Pintor!
- Charlene brought Vic here
- for a date.
- If I don't stop them
- from kissing,
- Vic will be stuck
- with her forever!
The ghost is close!
Ooh!
Romantic poetry!
Maybe if you read
some love poems out loud,
El Pintor
will show himself.
Lame. But I guess if it brings
out the ghost, I'll do it!
Make sure you read it
convincingly.
"Love is so kind.
Love is so true.
Love is the best
when it's me and y-you"?
Hmm. Maybe El Pintor
is in the hallway.
Yeah, let's go!
Hey! Did the eyes
in that painting just blink?
- He's looking - for his amante!
Quick! We need to make him
think we're her!
- But he's gonna see
- that there's two of us.
Unless we pretend
to be one.
I know! If we hold hands
and walk side by side,
- he'll think
- we're one person!
Great idea, Victor!
Follow my lead.
This foot,
that foot.
Left foot,
other left foot.
Left foot, that foot.
This foot, that foot.
Other left foot!
Oh, look!
A romantic dinner!
I bet if we sit down and start
eating together by candlelight,
he'll finally appear!
-Great idea, Victor.
Stupid ghosts.
- They're so easy - to trick.
Wow, Victor!
You're so smart.
- Wait, - what's that sound?
- The ghost must be
- about to appear!
You did it, Victor!
Of course I did it.
I'm a didder.
All right, Vic,
where are you?!
Are you there, Vic?
Pineapple!
Aah!
El Pintor!
He draws closer!
I'm glad I brought my protective
"ghost shield" potion.
Want some?
Uh, there's no more left.
- Oh.
- Well, I can just share
Some of the protective ghost
shield potion that's on my lips.
Here.
Uh... here goes nothing.
Don't... Don't do it, Vic!
Charlene tricked you into
going on a date with her!
What?! I don't know what
he's talking about.
Val, look out!
El Pintor
has materialized!
Boo!
El Pintor.
There is no El Pintor.
See?
She brought you up here
for a Día de los Amantes date!
Hold your horses, Val.
I have definitely
not been on a date.
Alls I've been doing is picking
flowers, reading love poems,
holding hands, having
a romantic dinner for two,
and about to share
a Día de los Amantes kiss!
No!
Pineapple, please tell me
you're doing this.
He's real!
Aah!
You cannot leave!
Please don't turn us
into paintings!
I don't understand art!
I'm not going to
turn you into anything.
I'm just so lonely!
Do you have any idea
how sad it is
to spend every
Día de los Amantes alone?
I used to eat lunch by myself
in the second grade.
It was a rough time
in my life.
Second grade can be painful.
- Well, we aren't - your amante,
- But we could spend some time
- with you.
Yes, I've always wanted
to dine with the dead.
Oh!
I'd like that very much.
Thank you, children.
I am so overjoyed
by your visit.
I think it has inspired
my best work in decades.
It's looking great!
- Ya know, Charlene -
- I actually had
- a pretty okay time.
Maybe Día de los Amantes isn't
such a bad holiday after all.
- But I'm still glad we didn't
- end up together forever, though.
Well, after hearing you
scream like a baby,
I'm not sure you're
boyfriend material anyway.
Oh, yeah?
I could be if I wanted to!
Anyway, El Pintor knows
I wasn't afraid of him.
Right, guy?
Yes, fantastic!
So maybe you'll come back to
see me next Día de los Amantes.
Yes! We'll all come back
and see you.
We'll call ourselves
the Lonely Haunts Club!