Victor & Valentino (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - The Babysitter - full transcript

Vic and Val want to sneak out to a secret fireworks show but are thwarted when their new babysitter, Xochi, outsmarts them at every turn.


- -Whoa!
- -Whoa!

- Thanks, Lupe.
- Come again.

Finally closed.

The night is ours to do

anything we want to do!

Got anything fun in mind?

- Well, rumor has it
- that Andres' dad

- Is buying
- a bunch of fireworks

- And is gonna set them off
- in his backyard.

- Yeah?
- How do you know that?

He's buying them right now.


-Ah, cool.

Whoa! I can't wait to see

every burst of copper chloride

in all its glory!

I want to be so close that the

explosions make my face melt.

- Let's go tell Grandma
- not to wait up.



- Vic and I are all done
- at the stand,

- So we're gonna head over
- to Andres' house.

Oh, no.

Tonight you're staying

right here.

I'm going with Don to an outdoor

movie screening on the lake.

So you two will

have a babysitter.

- A babysitter?!
- A babysitter?!

At my age?

- Yeah, we're too old
- to have a babysitter.

Knock, knock!


Your babysitter has arrived.

- -Xochi?!
- -Xochi?!

That's right.

Thank you so much

for looking after the boys.

- -Oh, sure.
- -Oh!

Thank you, Xochi.

See you after the movie.

You boys listen to Xochi.

- She's in charge.
- Got it?

Have fun, you two!

Listen up.

- Tonight you're going
- by my rules.

No yelling, no whispering,

no running, no tiptoeing,

and bedtime's

at 8:23 p.m. sharp.

Why specifically at 8:23?

Because I said so.

What if we don't wanna?

Try me.

- Aah!
- Aah!

I know you're really just here

to watch over little Victor.

But don't worry.

I've got him under control.

Uh, let me.

No! It's nothing!


So, just a heads-up...

- Vic and I
- are just gonna pop out

To this fireworks thing

across town.

Don't even think

about leaving the house.

- You're thinking about it,
- aren't you?

- No?
- No?



- -Aah!
- -Aah!


Okay... now!

You can't stop us both!


Ow! Victor!

She's coming for you!

I made it!

- Huh! Ha!
- Uhh!


No pillow fights,

no reading under the covers,

and no chatting.

Just go to bed while I read.

Lights out.

Man, we're never gonna see

those fireworks.

Don't count us out yet,

my half brother.

I have one last plan

that never fails.

Puh-lease, Xochi!

Please, let us go, por favor!

Uh, Vic?

I think she's asleep.

I told you

that plan never fails.

Oi! If we don't stop that

volcano, it's gonna stop us.

We are gonna need

a bigger net!

I brought us some snacks

to enjoy during the movie...

Muy picante candies.

Mmm! Whoa!


- Thank you.
- Be careful.

They're really spicy.

- You think I can't
- handle my spice?

They don't call me

Don Jalapeño for nothing.


What do you think?

Oh, it's, uh...

not too bad.

Everything okay?

Oh, yes!

I just need to make a quick trip

to the little boys' room.

We did it!

Fireworks, here we come!


Hey, what's the holdup?

- I never knew there was
- a salsa studio in town.

I happen to be a master

of salsa, you know.

- I thought you said
- she was sleeping!

Maybe she's

sleep salsa-ing?

Oh! Ohhhh!

- Thanks - for breaking my fall.

Thanks for breaking

my bones.

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Sorry, folks.
- Out of order.

You might have to go,

but you can't do it here.


It's gonna blow!

Ay! Excuse me!

- Oh! Oh!
- Chata!

I'm so sorry,

but we need to go home.

I have a work emergency.

A big shipment

about to drop.

That's okay, Don.

- If we gotta go, - we gotta g...

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I'll get the car ready!

-Nice boy.



Climb back

over that fence... now!


I can't believe you two

snuck out.

If Chata knew you disobeyed me,

you'd be in big trouble.

- Oh, that's funny,
- because if Abuela

- Knew you snuck out
- and left us,

You'd be in big trouble,



You wouldn't dare!

Try me.

Ah, fine.

- Let's just get home
- before they notice.

Huh? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Why are they headed home
- so soon?

- That was - one quick movie.

- We gotta get out of here,
- or we're all busted!

IFrutas! iFrutas!

Fresh fruit here!


- Hey, how much - for your bike?

- And three watermelons,
- please!


- Put your hands around my waist
- so you stay on.

I know how to stay

on a bike.


Huh? Don's truck!

What the...


- Ay!
- Aah!

Ah, how is a bike

ever gonna beat a car?

I have an idea

that might slow 'em down.

Ohh... ay.


- Hey!
- What's going on around here?!

Excuse me, señor.

That's a big mess

on your windshield there.

- Please allow me to help you
- with that.

Thank you, young man.

Just make it quick, okay?

Don't worry, mister.

I'll make it real quick.

Wha... Hey, kid!

You're making it worse!

- That ought to - keep him busy.

Heh heh heh.

Hey! Hey!


Good-for-nothing kids.

- Good thinking back there,
- Vic.


I like to play dirty.

- That didn't buy us
- much time.

They're gaining on us.

I know a shortcut.

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Whooooa!
- Whooooa!

Aah! Ohh!



No more shortcuts, Xochi.



How about a game of chicken?


What are all these chickens

doing in the road?

I don't know, Don.

Just drive carefully

so an accident doesn't happen.

Heh! Right!

No accidents.

Of course!

Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on. Oy!

Yeah, Xochi!


I've never heard anyone yell

at chickens like that before.

Yeah, just trying

to make good time.

- Oh, no!
- They're past the chickens!

We gotta slow 'em down again.

- I think - I have an idea.

- Almost there.
- Almost there.

Almost... Ooh!

Done! Ta-da!

You really think some

dumb wood and traffic cones are
gonna stop 'em? Don is a rule follower,

like me.

He would never violate

a Code 957 bridge construction.

Trust me on this.

Code 957 bridge construction?

In the middle of the night?

Is this where my taxes

are going?!

Keep it together, Don.


That's it!


Oh, Don, you're so wild.



Do you need assistance,


Thank you, Don, but no.

I'm almost there.

Here I come!

One more second...

Oh, silly me.

I forgot my purse.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Let me, let me!

Let's go, go, go, go, go!

-Oh, I forgot my cane.

-Oh! Ay! Ohh!

- Thank you for
- the lovely evening, Chata.

- Sorry. I have to go home
- immediately

To take care of some

pressing matters.

Oh, would you like a piece

of candy for the...

No! No!

Business calls!

- Xochi will find
- her way home!


Okay! Good night!

Ay, mis angelitos.

They are all asleep.

Sweet dreams!

- -Yes!
- -Yes!

Bummer we didn't get to see

the fireworks, though.

Maybe we can see them

after all.


This is amazing!

It sure is.

So, why did you sneak out

to take salsa lessons?

I have my reasons.

I'm trying to impress

someone, okay?

You know,

I can show you some moves.

And I'm a self-taught master

of dance.

- See?
- Ho-ha, ho-ha...

Vic, those are push-ups.

- No way.
- It's dancing.

Whatever you say, Victor.

- Thanks for bringing us
- up here, Xochi.

- You know, it wouldn't be
- so bad for you

- To hang with us
- at our place again.

You mean babysit?