Victor & Valentino (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Legend of the Hidden Skate Park - full transcript

While searching for a hidden skate park, Victor and Valentino happen upon a tribe of wild kids, who live in a society without rules or adults.

[ Both laughing ]

[ Bang! ]

[ Both grunt ]


[ Roars ]


- -Whoa!
- -Whoa!


[ Chuckles ]


- Vic: Val, I thought you said
- you could find anything.

Almost anything.

- The hardest thing to find
- is the patience to deal

With your

constant questions, Vic.

- Do you think the skate park
- in the middle

- of the jungle - is even real?

Is it an urban legend?

- Are we just - getting pranked?

- Are we going to get into
- an adventure?

- Or are we just gonna
- get in trouble?

Only if we aren't home

before sundown.

You know Grandma's rule.

Yeah, yeah.

Rules are what got us here

in the first place.

[ Panting ]

- [ Grunts ]
- Ahem.

No skating!

- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!


No pogo-ing!

- Both: But, but...
- Ahem.

No buts!

Stupid rules.

I just don't think

Don Jalapeño's rules are fair.

But on the positive side,

this gives us an adventure

- that we wouldn't normally
- have in Monte Macabre.

- So, you think the legends
- are true?

You mean the legends

of a glorious skate park

full of the wildest ramps,

funkiest fun boxes,

and smoothest railings?

But it's guarded by vicious,

people-eating shadowy figures?

Eh, yeah, that one.

Nah, it's probably just a shoddy

ramp built next to some ruins.

- Ahhh!
- I got you, Val!


[ Grunts ]

Ugh. Ow.

At least this railing

broke my fall.

Both: Railing?!

The Legendary Hidden Skate Park.

It is real!

- No Don Jalapeño, - no signs.

Nothing can stop us now.


What the...?

The shadowy figures!

You picked the wrong

two kids to eat.

Wait, they're kids like us?

Let 'em down.

Yeah, let us... Waahh!

[ Chanting "Kids like us!" ]

- Wait.
- You're not shadowy figures.

- Nope!
- I'm Itzel.

- I'm Val.
- This is Vic.

Eh, where are your adults?

You mean rule givers?

There aren't any.

We live here by ourselves.

No rules.

Wow, this place rules!

Here comes Javier!

[ Chanting "Javi-air!" ]


[ Chanting stops ]

- So, who are these
- rule-loving,

Vitamin-eating intruders?

Do they even do tricks?

You bet we do!


[ Grunts ]


Not bad for a bedtime-loving


- And you?
- -Uh, uh...

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Shing! ]

[ Pogo stick squeaking ]

Well, what say you?

Are they one of us?

[ Chanting "One of us!" ]

The wild kids have spoken.

We accept you!

I'll show you around.


Not you, Pogo.

You stay with Itzel.

[ Wheels grinding ]

It's okay.

I'll show you around.

This is our home.

- A rules-free paradise we made
- with our own hands.

- Pretty sick, huh?
- Totally.

- What's with the costumes,
- though?

What you call a "costume",

we call our animal essence, bro.

Some of us are slick and smooth,

like a snake.

Others acrobatic and weird,

like a spider.

Some of us are just

straight chillers.

Others are fast

as lightning.

You're so cool, Javi.

- Itzel?
- Why are we building stuff

- While everyone else skates
- and hangs out?

I'm all for helping,

but I'm also all for pogo.

'Cause we all do our fair

share to make this place

the sickest it can be.

- Javier calls it
- "our civic duty".

Don't worry,

you'll get to pogo soon.



This is our cenote, where we

sacrificed out coolest,

dopest stuff to keep

the rule givers away.

- Whoa.
- Can I spit in it?

- No rules.
- Just right, my guy. Chill out on that loogie,


- We're about to see
- a sacrifice in action.

[ Gulps ]

I'm gonna miss you!

Goodbye, Mr. Pickles.

[ Sobbing ]

Man, I wouldn't want to drop

my cool stuff into a hole.

- Unless it's like - ice cream,

Into my mouth hole.

No one wants to do it,

but we gotta.

"A sacrifice a day keeps

the rule givers away."

- That's what Javi
- says anyway.

How does throwing away your

stuff keep the rule givers away?

- Javi told us - that one night,

The rule givers came

while we were sleeping.

They were trying to steal

all our stuff.


Javier was watching over us

and scared them off

without even waking us.

So, none of us you have ever

seen a rule giver?

No, the sacrifices

have been working.

They've never come back.


[ Laughter ]

[ All grunting ]

Isn't civic duty fun?

We get to be the ramp!

I'm getting tired.

When is nap time?

Nap time? Sounds like a rule.

We don't do that.

In fact, we hardly even sleep

and it's great.

[ Groans ]

- Javier:
- Are you ready for the ultimate

In Ultimate X-treme sports?

Then get ready for...



[ Grunts ]

It's like basketball

and skateboarding.


- Pretty sick, huh?
- What do you say?

Wanna play?


- Okay, so after
- we clear away the roots,

Cut the wooden planks,

and sand the entire skate park,

that's when we might

get a chance to skate.

Can't you just taste

those sweet grinds?

No, but I'm sure

Victor and Javier

could describe the flavor

in great detail.

Hey, at least we won't be

working the night shift.

- Night shift?
- Is it getting closer to sundown?

- Vic,
- I think it's time to go.

- [ Laughs ]
- Aw, I was so close!

Lemme try again.

Javi, over here, dude.

Whoa! Ha ha!

Dang, man, that was sick!

- He shoots!
- He misses!

Victor Guadalupe Marine

Laguna Calaca Calavera!

Back before sundown!

You know the rule!

- Wuh?
- Wait a second, bro.

You sound like a rule giver!

[ All gasps ]


Rule givers will

not be tolerated.

Take him to the doom ramp.

[ Shakily ] Um..

- Hey!
- Let go of me!

Uh, Javier?

What's the doom ramp?

That... is the doom ramp.

- Whoa.
- You can't send him down that.

He'll eat it so hard.

- All rule givers
- must "eat it".

It's what they deserve.

- C'mon, Vic.
- Forget that rule giver.

Let's go skate.

- No!
- What?

- I don't care about your stupid
- grind rails.

- Me and Valentino
- are out of here.

If you defend him,

then you too must...

- Look!
- A dog with a dope hat!

What? Really?


- You let him go!
- After them!

[ Panting ]

Come on, Val!

- W-Wait!
- I got it!

My pogo stick!


[ Panting ]

[ Pogo stick squeaking ]

They got me!

Save yourself, Victor!

I'll come back for you,



After I loose these goons!

- Hm?
- Tlachco balls!

[ Chuckles ]

Uhh! Huh?

Thanks, kid!


Hey, Javier!

I hope you like your face

like you like your eggs...


Huh! Hah!

Heh! Huh!

Later, skaters!

- -Ah!
- -Ah!

- Uh, Javi?
- What are you do...



- -Ugh!
- -Ah!

Pretty quick thinking there,


Pretty, pretty quick.

[ Howling in distance ]

[ Growls ]

- Okay.
- Quicker, Victor, quicker!


- Ah! Javier!
- Uh, look!

- It's that dog with
- the dope hat again!

Not this time, Victor.



[ Grunts ] Ow!

[ Screams ] Huh?

Ah, heck.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Both grunting ]

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Screaming ]

Huh? The cenote.

And Valentino!

I can still save him!

If I could just...

[ Grunts ]

Wh-what are you doing?

- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa!

Later, dingus!

Skate or die,


For Valentino!


- [ Growling ]
- Aw, c'mon, man!

I was totally gonna

do a sick fliiiip!

[ Gasps ] Victor!

Oh, no. A light at the end

of the tunnel. Am I dead?

- Not yet!
- [ Grunts ]

[ Panting ]

Hey, that kid's teddy bear.

[ Grunts ]

You're dead, Vic!

[ Grunts ]

- -Ugh!
- -Huh?

A pulley system?

[ Grunts ]

I just missed him.

Is this Javier's room?

Look at all this stuff.

Victor! [ Sobbing ]

Vic: Hey! Hey!

- Wild kids!
- Javier's a thief!

He's been stealing all your

sacrifices from the cenote!


My radio!

My teddy!

My sense of self worth.

- -Watch out, Vic!
- -[ Grunts ]

Stealing is allowed

because there are no rules!

[ Laughs evilly ]


-[ Screaming ]

Itzel! Thank you.

- Vic!
- Y-You're alive!

-What? W-Wait! Wait!

-Wild kids!

It looks like Javier has been

making up his own rules.

We need to decide

what to do about him,

in a way

that we are all heard.

Let's put it to a vote.

I vote we send him down

the doom ramp!

Me, too!

Yeah, me, too!

[ Chanting "Doom ramp!" ]

- Wait!
- What are you doing?

[ Muffled speaking ]

Just doing my civic duty.

[ Screaming ]


Thanks for helping us

see Javi was a jerk.

What do you guys say?

Wanna stay with us wild kids

and live the "no rules" life?

Eh, I dunno.

I think maybe this wild life

isn't for me.

Yeah, let's go home.

- Grandma will fix you up.
- Thanks, Val.

- I'm in a lot of pain
- right now.

Ya know what...

use the pogo.

[ Pogo squeaking ]

Come back anytime!

[ Chanting "One of us!"]

- Y'know, I could really use
- some of Grandma's

Ointment right now.

[ Dog whimpers ]



[ Laughing ]