Victor & Valentino (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 15 - Cuddle Monster - full transcript

After being told by Chata that they can't get a pet, Vic & Val adopt a wild lizard, unaware of its magical properties, and decide to keep it secret from Chata.

[ Both laughing ]

[ Bang! ]

[ Both grunt ]


[ Roars ]





[ Chuckles ]

Awww. I want that one.

It's so cute.


It's too cute.

Sick! That one's trying

to eat the cute one.

I want him.

Oh, man. You think Grandma will

let us have a pet?

Are you kidding,


Between your

incessant badgering

and my exceptional

ability to reason,

Grandma will be

a pushover.

Que no!

I already have

too many mouths to feed.

Besides, a pet is always

more work than you think.

We can do it, Grandma.

We're really responsible.

Well, I'm

really responsible.

No. I will hear

no more of this.

You already have a pet.


[ Trilling ]


That ugly bird?

He's not cool-looking enough

to be a pet.



Enough, niños.

My favorite radio novela,

"Escandalo," is about to start.


[ Sighs ]

I'm so upset I can't even move.

Pass me an apple, Vic.

[ Chomping ]

I said

pass me an apple.

I'm in a very dark place

right now,

and I don't appreciate you

taking that tone with me.

Besides, I rolled one

over to you already.



A lizard.


[ Chomping, burps ]

Hungry little guy,

aren't ya?

Super cool birthmarks.

[ Purring ]

Spikes? Now this is

my kind of pet.

Let's keep him, Val.


We can't keep it.

Grandma said no pets.

[ Laughing ]

He's cuddling you.

Let's name you


You're gonna be

our new pet, Cuddles.

Now, let's figure out

your natural environment

and specific

dietary needs.

You brought a book?

You always carry around

such nerdy things.

It's an

animal encyclopedia.

Fetch, Cuddles!

Good boy!

Hmm...Cuddles' features don't

look like any of these lizards.

Well, Don Jalapeño has

that weird book

with weird things in it.

That's true.

Let's see what ol' Donny J

has to say.

What kind of weirdo animal

are we talking about, hmm?

He looked like this. leg stripes,

black spikes,

unusual leg markings.

You saw this?!

Uh, yes?

I don't believe you!

But if you did...


The book!

DON: ...what you saw

was a relative

of the legendary lake monster,


Legend has it that

the Cipactli's body

was torn asunder to create

the Heavens and the Earth.

Its descendents now live

in the waters Monte Macabre,

though few have seen them.

Whoa! Whoa!

Does it say was this "Cipactli"

is supposed to eat?

Oh, it eats,

all right...

but only plants.

If it eats

something unnatural

like that sugary junk

you kids eat,

it becomes insatiable.

Natural food --

Got it.

[ Sputtering ]

Hey, why you

making those faces?!

This is

serious stuff!

I better not find you messing

with this creature, huh?

Got it, uh, d-don't mess

with the creature.

Got to go!

Thanks for your help!


very suspicious.

Man: I must leave you,

Esmerelda, mi amor.

I cannot deny the call

of the open sea.

Thank you, Huitzi.

That Antonio is

such a scoundrel.

Eh? Is that

my niños I hear?

Uh, h-hey, Abuela.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Uh, w-we're going

upstairs to, uh...

tell each other how much

we love each other!

What delightful boys.

I'm such

a good grandmother.

[ Trills with suspicion ]

We're totally responsible enough

to take care of Cuddles.

[ Chuckles ]

Go! Go! Go!

You almost got it!

[ Groaning ]

[ Barfs ]

Whoa. Sorry, buddy.

I guess I got you too dizzy.

Vic, stop tormenting


Come on.

Here you, little guy.

Just like home.

And for dinner, some scrumptious

leafy lake moss.

And I'm gonna add Captain Lucha

to keep him company.


Play nice!

Good night, Cuddles.

[ Smooches ]


[ Insects chirping ]

[ Cuddles fussing ]


All right. All right.

You hungry?

Uhh, here. Have this.

[ Snores ]


[ Bubbling ]

[ Slurps ]

[ Burps, sizzles ]




[ Snorting ]

[ Slurps ]

[ Laughs ]


It's too early

for morning kisses.

[ Gasps ]


I'm up! I'm up!

What happened?


He seems bigger.

And he's grown

all these mouths.


Hey, my Captain Lucha's


Did you feel Cuddles

anything last night --

anything unnatural?

Uh, [chuckles nervously]

sorry, doesn't ring a bell.

[ Burps ]

Ow! Soda?

Soda is not

a natural food, Vic!

[ Chuckles nervously ]

It's naturally delicious?

Chata: Niños!

Time for breakfast!

You really think

that'll hold him?

Uhh, yeah.

Sure it will.

Don't worry, boy.

We'll be back soon.

Bye, Cuddles.

You boys were so quiet

up there,

I was worried you

were up to something.

But now I see my niños

were just hungry.

Yeah. I can't get enough

of these chilaquiles.

Yeah, so hungry!



[ Squelch! ]

It warms my heart

to see my niños

with such

healthy appetites.

[ Rumble ]

What was that?!

Bye, Grandma!

Thanks for breakfast!

[ Cuddles whimpers ]

[ Chomp! ]


Train goes in the tunnel.



[ Whimpers ]

I think

he's still hungry.


Mi hermosa Esmerelda!

Mi corazon

late solo por ti!

Here you go, Cuddles.

All the natural food

in the house.



B-But he ate

all the food.

He can't still

be hungry, right?


Hello, niños. Sounds like you're

in a hurry for something.

Both: Uhh...

Oh, yeah, Abuela.

We were in a big hurry.

Yeah, we were

in a big rush

to go do some

crazy lounging, Grandma.

Have you two see Huitzi?

What is all

the banging around?

Uhh, uhh...clapping!

That's us clapping!

A-And dancing!

'Cause we have so much joy

in our hearts!

So -- Ugh!

Much -- Ugh!



[ Trilling ]



Well, have fun, niños.

Your abuela is going to

take a nice relaxing bath.

Send Huitzi up to sing to me

if you find him.

Of course!

Totally count on us.

I'm blessed with such

well-behaved boys.

[ Trilling ]



Cuddles is destroying

Grandma's house!

Don't worry, Val.

I got this.

[ Grunting ]



what are you doing?!

Relax, Val.

I got Cuddles right

where I want him.

[ Grunts ]

[ Trilling ]

Vic, you're

making it worse.


I got you.


[ Snarls ]



Great save, Vic.


You're free!


[ Chomp, gulp ]

Huitzi!! Huitzi!!


I'm coming, Huitzi!

Hold on!

I've got you!

Spit him out!

Spit him out?

That's it!



make Cuddles dizzy.

Looks good,

doesn't it, Cuddles?

You want it?

Then you got to work for it.


Aaaah, It's working!


[ Grunts ]


Oh, no!

Abuela was right.

We're nit responsible enough to

take care of our own pet!

Come on, Huitzi.

Open up those little eyes!

[ Trilling ]




Aw, man.

Look at what we've done.

[ Sighs ]

You know what we have to do.

Go on!

Get out of here!

[ Whimpers ]

Go on,

you beautiful beast!

[ Crying ]

[ Burps ]

We'll never

forget you!


Goodbye, my friend.

All this time, I thought

Cuddles was tickling my tummy,

but he was really

tickling my heart!

[ Crying ]

So, you want

to be tickled, huh?

Stop, Vic!

[ Laughing ]

Chata: Boys! What have you done

to my house?!




[ Both laughing ]