Vice Principals (2016–2018): Season 2, Episode 3 - The King - full transcript

LEE RUSSELL:
You all need a lesson

in respecting your superiors.

Is this about not wanting
to eat sushi?

-(SHOUTING)
-Jesus Christ!

This is about me.

Firing... all of you.

-(MURMURING)
-What?

Oh, come on.

You're not supposed to
pick up people here.

AMANDA SNODGRASS:
Perfect timing!

SNODGRASS: What you doing?
Anything fun?



Oh, my God. Is that
a whole binder of suspects?

Oh, my God, yes it is.

And you'd better be glad
I don't put Brian in here.

Excuse me?

Just keep your nose clean,
Snodgrass.

What?

(indistinct police radio chatter)

(♪♪♪)

(♪♪♪)

Excuse me, I'm looking
for a patient. Neal Gamby.

NURSE: He's still in surgery.

You'll have to wait.

You're waiting
for Neal Gamby.

Yes, yes, I am.
Is he okay?



Awake and alert.
Oh, my God!

Okay, that's great.
That's great!

Are you family?
Yes.

I'm his girlfriend.
May I see him, please?

Let me see if he's ready
for visitors yet. Okay.

Excuse me.
Thank you so much. Thank you.

DOCTOR: Ma'am?

Yes?

Mr. Gamby says
he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Uh...

Are you sure?

(theme music playing)

NASH: (on walkie-talkie)
Heads-up, boss.

Vintage Porsche,
nine o'clock.

Copy that.
I got eyes on 'em.

(horn beeps)

(camera shutter clicks)

(camera shutter clicks)

Yo, Nash, how's that
ball-sack hanging?

What'd you say?
Where you get them titties?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep running, ya blockheads!

(school bell chimes)

Robin Shandrell,
what in the hell are you doin'?

I'm goin' to school.

Dopers, get into class.

Get the fuck into school.

Robin, what the fuck?

You're getting a second chance
and you're already gonna blow it?

I mean, what are these clothes you're
wearing on your first day back?

These are my clothes.
It's all I have.

Leave me alone, okay?

You gotta show people that you're
ready to do this for real this time,

not be some goddamn
slack-jawed fuck-up!

When are you gonna
stop being an asshole?

Hey, watch your mouth.
You hear me?

You should be
kissing my asshole.

Don't make me look
like an idiot.

Fuck off. I won't.

Okay, good, good.

You got lunch money?
No.

Didn't think so.

Give this meal pass to
Dayshawn in the cafeteria.

He'll get you anything
you need, okay?

Get in there.

Kick some ass, all right?

Don't do drugs!
(school bell chimes)

Ah, this is so exciting!

I can already tell that
I like you guys so much better

than that last batch
of teachers.

Why so many
new teachers at once?

Was there a walkout
or somethin'?

No, no, no.
No walkout.

Just some folks...

with some toxic attitudes
who needed to be let go.

I always strive
for the best.

We are a very happy

and successful institution.

What's this?

This looks like you.

"King Ding-a Ling"?

Look how tiny they made
your tee-tee bird.

Fuck you, Gamby.
I-- No, I know it's offensive,

but it's a pretty good
picture of you.

Obviously whoever did this
is really good at art.

Who do you think it was?

Some anonymous coward hid it
out in the trophy case,

meaning someone with a key.

Meaning a faculty member
tried to make me look

like an asshole
in front of the new hires.

A caricature is supposed
to look like a person.

You give Streisand
a big nose. Why? Ms. Swift?

Because she has
a big fucking nose!

That's why!

Now why would they draw
my dick so little? Huh?

I don't want to offend
you, Russell,

but maybe you come off
like the type of guy

that has a...
small, itty-bitty penis.

Oh, whatever, Gamby.

I'm sure yours is
so long and thick and juicy

with big, fuckin' hairy balls.

I bet you got a lot
of little Gambys

swimmin' around in there,
ready to come out, right?

I'm so fucking sure, Gamby.

I don't have people imagining
that it's small.(chuckles)

Mocked by underlings.

No more.

Startin' right now,
I'm placing you

as a substitute
for Bill Hayden's class.

Are you nuts?
Come on, Russell.

That's beneath my dignity.

I haven't been able
to fill the spot yet.

Besides, you can act
as my spy.

Let me know what
the teachers are up to.

I'm sorry, Gamby,
but you're going undercover.

I-- I got my hands full
with my own job.

Nash can't handle
discipline on her own.

We just let
Robin Shandrell back in.

She's not ready
for a guy like that.

I can take the kid.
I got a few moves.

Nash, you got dick.

I saw your moves in the parking lot today.
It was pathetic.

Gamby, it's already been decided.

I need you to go in there and
substitute teach the class, okay?

God, this is so stupid.
This is bullshit!

This is so dumb, Russell.
It's the dumbest thing.

It's such bad judgment.
I don't like this choice.

Excuse us, ladies.

Close the door, please.

(door closes)

Buddy, don't you forget that
I'm your boss.

Now, I can't have you talking to me
like that in front of other people.

I am the principal.

Well, I was supposed
to be principal too, so--

Yes. Then you got shot.

And you hid out like a poor,
frightened little child.

You were broken,
and I brought you back.

Now, you will substitute teach
that class, Neal Gamby.

And you will find out
who's drawing

fucked up cartoons
about my genitalia.

Are we clear?

I suppose.

Don't make me ask again.

Crystal.

Dismissed.

(school bell chimes)
GAMBY: Okay, here's the deal, people.

I'm gonna be temporarily
subbing Honors History.

So, someone please tell me,
what-- where are we at

in the lesson plan?
Where-- where are we going?

We're studying
the Reconstruction era,

post-Civil War,
and its long-term effect

on the Southern states.

Okay. Cinchy.

Uh, does Hayden have like a...
a master list of questions

or like a... study guide
or anything?

Mr. Hayden just lectured mostly.

Hm. That's one technique of course,

just to stand up there
and run your mouth.

Uh, we're-- we're gonna put
a pin in Reconstruction

and get a little more
creative with the learning.

Here we go.
Got it.

Does anyone know
what happened today in history?

Give you a hint.
It happened in 1969.

Anyone?

Boris Karloff,
English actor and singer,

b. 1887, he passed away
on this day in history.

He was a famous person

for playing the role of Frankenstein

in the classic Universal monster film

Frankenstein.

So, what we're
gonna do is this.

This is where it gets fun.

Take a piece of paper and pass it around,
one to each.

Today I want your best artist renditions

of Frankenstein.

Do we draw Frankenstein himself
or Frankenstein's monster?

Frankenstein has a monster?

(laughter)

Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

Draw Frankenstein, okay?

Now where did Hayden keep
his Magic Markers?

This is a college-level course.

We don't have Magic Markers.

(laughter)
Did you even go to college?

(scoffs)
Yes, I went to college.

What school?

Learning Leaders University.

LLU. It's an online,
accredited university.

(laughter)
What major?

Leadership.
(laughs louder)

What the hell is
so funny about that?

I got into Penn State.

I'm going to Duke.
Full ride.

Well, big flippin' deal.
Who cares?

(high-pitched voice)
What were your SAT scores, Mr. Gamby?

(mockingly) Uh, I think my SAT scores
are none of your business.

Look, just everyone shut
your mouths right now.

Shut your...(mouths word)
mouths now.

Just draw the motherfucker with
the bolts in his neck, okay?

Simple. Don't make
me say it again.

Fuck, you guys are entitled.

Unbelievable.

Regina Deets!
Look at you with this...

colorful ensemble.

So creative!

What an art teacher you are.

What are you workin' on next?

In terms of my syllabus?

No, sweetheart.
I'm talkin' you.

Are you workin' on any paintings
or illustrations?

You came by just to ask that?
Well, I'm just curious

what you like to work on yourself,

you know, when you're alone

and you're feeling inspired.

You know, like when you
want to make a statement. Ugh.

I did not draw that comic strip,
if that's what you're asking.

Comic strip? I don't even know
what you're talking about.

What?
King Ding-a Ling.

You know, the one everyone's
passing around showcasing your...

Who is passing it around?

I don't know
who's doing it.

Well, do you know any other teachers
who like to draw?

I'm a potter, Lee.

I make pottery, remember?

My show at the gallery,
you were there!

Yes, that's right,
clay pots.

I remember that.

Well, it was good to...

chat...

with you, Regina.

I look forward to...

our next conversation...

where we get to review
the art budget.

Looking forward to that.

Hey, Chief.

You mind if I sit?

What do you want?

For some crazy reason,
Mr. Gamby has taken a liking to you.

If you disappoint him,

you're gonna have to deal with the
toughest MF-er you've ever seen.

Yeah? Who's that?

Me.

(sputters)
Oh, shit!

Mr. Nash just farted!

(laughter)

How's it goin'? What's up?
What's up? What's up?

What's up?

You all are probably wondering
why I'm sitting with you.

Well, I shall tell you.

Lee Russell is an asshole.

No shit.
Not exactly breaking news, Gamby.

Yeah, it's all we've been talking
about for the last month.

Well, good. Glad to see
I'm amongst friends.

That way I can talk as much
shit as I want to, huh?

What's your beef
with him, Gamby?

My beef,
he's full of baloney.

He's got me substitute teaching
Bill Hayden's history class.

You?
What?

Me.
Why can't he get a real sub?

Yeah, someone more qualified.

"More qualified"?
Mm-hmm.

(chuckles)

You trying to knock on me?
Come on, Ms. Snodgrass.

I'm overqualified.
This is a slap in the face to me.

Why is it a slap in the face
to teach class? Is there, uh,

something wrong with teaching

you wanna tell
this table of teachers?

Well, n-- no.
I mean, there's--

there's nothing wrong
with it for you guys.

L-- look, I'm not trying
to insult anyone, okay?

Sue, don't get
your panties in a bunch.

I'm just saying,
this is another example

of Lee Russell using
very poor judgment.

What do you expect
from ol' King Ding-a Ling?

(laughter)

That cartoon was pretty awesome.

Mm-hmm. I'd love to shake the
hand of whoever did that.

I made it my wallpaper.
(laughs)

That's fantastic!
She made it her wallpaper!

(laughs)

Classic cartoon cutdown.

Sure would love to know who did it.
Did you do it?

Amanda, did you hear from the
publisher about your book yet?

No, not yet.
Oh.

Fingers crossed.
Yeah.

Publisher? What are you
guys talking about?

Wait-- Amanda's boyfriend has
connections at Penguin Press,

and he's trying to help
her get published.

Yup. That's right.
Thanks, Jen.

Yeah, sure. Well, if that's
all you're looking for,

you should have
told me ages go.

I have several
esteemed colleagues

who dominate
in that field

of business stuff.
Oh.

I had no idea,
but I guess Brian was

just the first to
believe in my work, so...

Yeah, I bet he believes
in your work all right.

Tell me, uh,
did you, uh,

ever even read my book?

I'm reading it right now.
Yeah, where are you?

I'm at the part
where all the,

the... stuff is going on
to the main character.

What, page one?
Ms. Snodgrass, I think you just need

to keep your feet
on the ground, okay?

I mean, I'm sure this Brian
is gonna promise you the world

if he thinks he can
unzip your blouse

and slip and slide
his privates all over your lips.

SNODGRASS: Whoa, Neal.
I'm sorry, Sue.

You do not know
what you are talking about.

But if I am lucky enough
to get my book published,

I'll be sure to sign
a copy for you.

Well, that's not gonna happen,
so don't worry about it.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Thanks a lot, Neal.

No, I don't mean--
No, I understood.

Thank you. I got it... No, I mean he's
not gonna be able to get it published.

Not that--
Oh!

Oh! Oh, my God,
she got fuckin' faced!

I wasn't trying
to face her.

I was just trying
to give her some advice.

(car screeches)

Oh, fuck!

Shit.

(grunts)
Goddammit!

Goddammit!
What the hell?

Bill, what the fuck
are you doing?

What the fuck
are you doing?

That was a classic
comedy cutoff.

I pulled in front of you,
you were gonna slow down,

swerve out of the way, we'd get
out and both laugh about it!

What?
Look, can I ask you a favor?

Do you have any of your old lesson
plans for the, uh, Reconstruction era?

Go fuck yourself.

Bill, please, be professional
for a moment here, okay?

You fired me
and now you want my help?

Fuck you, Neal.

Think about the children, okay?

They are our future, Bill.
Screw the children.

Well, maybe you care about this.

Amanda Snodgrass.

Huh? You might be
interested to know

she's getting pretty cozy
with Mr. Hotshot Porsche.

Brian Biehn?

Brian Biehn?
That's what he's called?

What else do
you know about him?

He's a fucking novelist.

He teaches a writing course
that Amanda took.

So that's his game, huh?

He finds young pupils
to publish and then fuck.

That seems like a lot of
effort to get a girl in bed.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

He seems pretty pathetic,
if you ask me.

And how about her?
I mean, can you believe this?

She's just got to go
from one guy to the next.

I mean, obviously she has some
major codependency issues.

Hey, you know what, Neal?
I don't want to bond with you.

We're not, like, friends or anything.
Uh, yeah. No duh.

I'm not trying
to bond with you.

I'm not trying to be friends.
I know we're not friends.

Don't fucking
come around here anymore.

Bill, if you need a job rec,
let me know, okay?

Because I'm not petty.
I will give you that.

Only thing I need from you, Neal,
is for you to go fuck yourself.

So, why don't you do that?
That would be a big favor to me.

Thank you for the
information on Brian.

I appreciate it.
Good luck.

WOMAN: (on TV) I insist that
every room be searched.

GIRL: Daddy?
MAN: Sara.

Daddy! Oh, Daddy,
it is you!

I found you,
I found you!

They said you were dead,
but I knew you weren't!

I knew you'd come back!

Oh, Daddy!

My mom is right here.

Shh. She's sleeping.

It is big, isn't it?
Why are you asking me?

Well, you're the one
I stick it in, Christine.

Who else am I gonna ask?

Yeah, it's fine.
I mean, I don't know.

I haven't seen
a lot of penises.

Well, certainly
you know if it's...

if it's small.

It's perfect for me.

Big ones hurt.

Well, I could hurt you.

I could hit both walls
if I wanted, and your uterus.

Just get away from me.

Lee!
No, I'm going to bed.

(gasps) Turn the television
off and go to bed.

That's enough TV for you.

(Sara cries)
FATHER: Must you cry?

GAMBY: I don't understand why
you guys bought all this stuff.

The room was already set up.

You don't even have
curtains that work.

Gale, what do
I need curtains for?

I don't even have neighbors.

You know what, Janelle?
I like this place for you.

Thank you, Ray. I appreciate
you being supportive.

I don't know why she can't
just drop the child off

and keep her stupid mouth shut.

I don't understand
why you decided

to move to a fucking
pioneer house

30 miles in the middle
of Bumfuck.

I'm living in
a secluded place, Gale,

for our daughter's safety.

What if I were staying in town
or staying at your place

and the murderer tracked
me down there? Don't--

He'd blast you
in your f-ing face,

kill her, and maybe
even kill Ray.

He's gonna murder me?
No one's gonna murder you, baby.

You're off the grid now,
that's for sure.

You'll be safe out here.

Safety is just an illusion, Ray.

All it takes is one nutball
with a high-powered rifle

to shatter that illusion
to a fine, pink mist.

Well, maybe more of a reason
to get curtains that work.

That's all. Do you always
have to be so negative?

I'm not negative. I'm--
RAY: Neal,

take me and show me
around outside.

Let the girls get
the room all set up.

Why is everyone acting like the room is not set up?
The room has been set up.

And they threw
the barn in with it.

As you can see, security is
a very big deal to me,

so I've been turning this barn
into my command central station.

RAY:
Kind of paranoid, bud.

Isn't this a little
over the top?

Ray, my shooter's
still at-large.

I'm not gonna rest
until I catch this fucker.

Who are you looking up?

Brian Biehn.
Globetrotting author

and professor
of English studies.

(inhales)

What's he with, a gang?
No, looks like it's a photograph

from his first novel,
Sky's the Limit.

"Firsthand account
of a hard life

from child soldiers
in Uganda."

Damn.

Looks like it was
also a Critic's Pick.

GAMBY: Hm.

What's he doing
in that picture?

GAMBY: This is from his second
novel, The Ripest Fruit.

"Brian Biehn embeds himself with
an Indonesian tribe of cannibals."

RAY:
This guy's for real.

Looks like Brian Biehn
might be my number one suspect

on my shooter's list.

He's got the motive.

He's dating Amanda Snodgrass.

Chick you took to motocross?

This guy Brian
stole her from you?

No. I dumped her.

Stopped returning
her phone calls,

just kind of, like,
let the relationship fizzle.

Why'd you do that? She was awesome.
I was shot, Ray.

Okay, I wasn't, like, thinking clearly.
I made some mistakes.

So, it's not Brian's fault.

Oh, my God.

You are so dense sometimes.

Listen, he tried
to kill me, all right?

He's hanging out with
machine guns and cannibals.

Maybe this is one
you let go.

Funny thing about me, Ray,
when push comes to shove,

I can eat people too.

(chortles)

It's not a joke, Ray.

I could eat a person
if I needed to.

(school bell chimes)

(Gamby scoffs)

Ooh. What's up, sexy?

Hot glasses.

Having honor students draw
pictures of Frankenstein?

That's so dumb, Neal.

I know it's dumb.

This teacher bullshit.

I'm just putting a B+ on all
of 'em and calling it a day.

You know,
if you want some help

with all this teaching stuff,
I could come work with you.

I'm on different meds now.

It would be
better this time.

I'm not interested.

I don't want companionship
from anybody right now.

My mind is focused
on more important things.

Give me a break.
Snodgrass?

MILNER: Biddy-bop!
What's up, Milner?

Hey.
What's up? (chuckles)

I see maybe two kids here
who could be artists.

The rest are shit.

What the hell
do you know?

You're a science
teacher, Milner.

I know art
when I see it.

Like King Ding-a Ling. In fact,
everybody, have you heard?

There's a new one
of Russell out.

There's a new drawing?
On the bulletin board.

Wah-ha!
(laughs)

GAMBY:
"Racing to a stop"?

SEYCHELLES: Is he smiling
or is he scared?

Huh. DEETS: Does Lee
even ride a bike?

I don't think
I've ever seen him on one.

This is not as good as
King Ding-a Ling, but...

DEETS: I'm not quite sure
what he's trying to say.

SEYCHELLES: When did this go up?
It must just have

because it wasn't there a minute ago.
Well, I just noticed it.

But you're right.
Not as good as the last one.

Oh, it's disappointing.

(sighs)

What's up, Deep Throat?

Feel like a teacher yet?

Oh, fuck you.
Don't call me that.

So what's the word?
You hear any good shit?

Well, the teachers
definitely hate you.

They mock you
at every turn.

No shit.

Give me somethin'
I can use.

Who drew the cartoon?

I got a theory.
Was it Mrs. Deets?

No, not Deets.

Milner. Science teacher.

He revealed a second drawing
in the teachers' lounge.

A-- a second drawing?

Don't worry,
it wasn't any good.

It was you buck naked
on a bicycle

with your tiny pecker barely
poking out of your pubic hairs.

It was like
"Racing to a stop."

I don't know what the fuck he was
trying to say, but it failed.

It's like he expected it to be
an uproarious sequel,

but it scored no laughs.
Fuckin' Milner.

I thought he was
a decent Christian man.

Too bad I can't destroy a handicap
the way I would a normal person.

(sighs)

Well, good job, Gamby.

Now would you please
just do me one more favor?

Would you stop wearing
this old Warriors' shit?

Russell, I don't understand what
the big deal is. It's time, Gamby.

I can't have my VP living
in the past

while everybody else
moves forward.

I'm not gonna ask you again.

So, is that the end
of the meeting?

(sighs)
This is the end, Gamby.

Leave your jacket.

Why do I have to be here for this?
Because, Janelle,

if Brian Biehn happens
to neutralize me,

you're gonna have to fend
for your life.

Clear!

(Gamby chuckles)

One false step, sayonara.

Don't roll your eyes.
What's gotten into you?

I don't like
coming way out here.

It's too far
from all my friends.

(scoffs) Well, you're gonna be
pretty far from your friends

when you're in heaven,
dead from being shot.

Clear. Brian Biehn.
Destroyed him.

Gotta beat him.
You see, you identify,

you get behind him,
up his asshole like that.

Wonderful to see you,
Mr. Biehn.

I call this little
shit-thrower the Apocalypto.

Stuck like a fucking pig.

Stab his privates.
There you go.

Trespass me?

Fuck you, Brian Biehn.

Why don't you write your way
out of this trap, book fuck?

(snapping)

Safety above all else.

BIEHN: Ibsen said

that there are
two kinds of conscience.

One in a man,

and the other, in
an altogether different way,

in a woman.

Very insightful.

So we will pick
this up next week.

Thank you all for your rapt
devotion and attention

to Henrik Ibsen.

I have a couple
of ideas for you two.

What if you two
dramatize act three?

Let's get together
tomorrow night

and we can rehearse
a little bit.

Fascinating lesson, Mr. Professor Biehn.
Thank you.

Um, I'll see
you later, all right?

I haven't seen you
in, uh, my class before.

Uh, is there something
I can do for you?

Detective Bernard Willows
from the, uh,

Downtown Police
Precinct offices.

What's this all about?
(chuckles)

How 'bout I ask
the questions today, okay?

Did I do something
wrong, Officer?

"Detective." And that's
what I'm here to find out.

When was the last time you were
at North Jackson High School?

Today.

I dropped off a friend,
Amanda Snodgrass.

She's a teacher there.

And are you...

girlfriends and boyfriends
with this teacher?

I don't like to use
the term "girlfriend,"

but we, uh,
we are dating, yes.

Have you made intercourse
with this woman?

Excuse me?
Coitus.

Flesh-to-flesh.

What did you say
your name was?

Detective Bernard Willows.
You want to see my badge again?

How about
my fucking gun, huh?

Is Amanda in
some kind of trouble?

No. You are.

And you do not want to get
on my bad side, do you hear?

What? Do you own a
gun, Professor?

A nine millimeter?

No, I do not own a gun.

Have you ever taken a gun
and shot someone

in the hip and in
the motherfucking shoulder?

No! I hate guns.

I know what guns
can do to people.

I'm trying to assess whether
you're being truthful or not.

I would feel
a lot more comfortable

if I had a lawyer present.

We're not calling any fucking
lawyers, do you understand me?

I will cooperate.

What can I do?
I'll tell you what you can do.

You can stay the hell away
from Amanda Snodgrass.

There is nothing
but trouble for you there.

I'm helping Amanda
with her novel.

Pathetic.

You better stay off
my fucking bad side.

I understand.

Good.

And I appreciate
your cooperation, citizen.

It's time to go do the other
mysteries that I have to work on.

Good day.

(sighs)

(mutters) Fuck no.

(mutters indistinctly)

Let's do it.
Let's just do it.

What?

Uh, okay.

Okay, this is cool.

(clears throat)

Baby? Guess what?
I--

What?

Oh, gross.

Hey! Did you go
to the college

and pretend to be
a cop to Brian?

Where did you hear
something like that?

From Brian. He told me
a cop named Willows came by

asking about me.
It wasn't hard to figure out.

Okay, fine.
You got me. Yeah.

I went over there to go inspect that son
of a bitch to see what he was up to.

Are you out of your mind?

You pulled a gun
on him, Neal.

Okay, if he's telling you that,
then he's telling a big lie

'cause I did not do that.

And all of this crazy shit,
'cause you're jealous now?

Come on.
Don't get a big head.

No, I went over there
because, yes,

I did suspect him
as being my shooter.

So, I wanted to check up on him,
not because I'm jealous,

but my assumptions were
correct about him.

He doesn't have the contacts
it takes to get you published.

He's just trying
to fuck you.

Well, the Penguin Press
are flying me to New York

for a meeting,
so you're wrong.

You got the meeting?
Yes, I did.

Yup.

Congrats.
Thank you.

But I'm sure he's just setting
the meeting so he can fuck you.

Stop it.

If you care so much
about who I'm dating,

then you tell me why you stopped
talking to me after the shooting.

You think that you know me,
okay, but you don't.

I've done some
really terrible things.

Some really bad stuff.

And I was just trying
to protect you.

Oh, my God, Neal.

You know what?

You don't even
need to bother.

I'm a big girl.
I've been dumped before.

You don't have to squeeze out
some bullshit story

for my benefit, okay?

You know, uh, actually,
this is-- this is for the best

because we never would have worked
out anyway if you think about it.

I mean, we were both
just desperate and, um...

you're not even my type.

Well, you're not even
my type either.

Okay.

I don't like it when girls have
just landing strips.

I've always liked it more when
girls have full-blown beavers.

Anybody who knows me
knows that.

So, no matter how close
we would have gotten,

it would have
only been so close

'cause you just don't have
enough pubic hair. (sniffles)

Okay.

You're dismissed.
See ya.

(door opens, closes)

(♪♪♪)

"Reconstruction was one of the
most difficult eras in US history.

"The Civil War
had reduced the South

"into a poverty-stricken
backwater.

Who shut off the light?

(knocking) "Economy in
ruin, populous divided,

"many died, many more
were wounded.

(clanging)
(screaming)

"Left with a broken nation,

"rebuilding what was destroyed

"would prove to be
the hardest part.

"Those who opposed
the new regime

"instigated violence carried out
by secret, sinister organizations.

MILNER: Help! Help me!

"A federal intervention
was instituted...

Help me, somebody! "...to
suppress the disruptive factions.

"But it was followed by a deep,
national economic depression

"that contributed
to the growing frustration

"in both the North
and the South.

My hands! Anybody!

"Even amidst defeat,

"the South refused to accept
the inevitable. Help!

Help me!

I think he was trying to break
my fingers, but he couldn't.

Who? Who did?
I don't know!

It was too dark.

"They did all they could to defy
the unstoppable tide of change,

"but it was too late.

"A war had been fought.

"They had lost,

and history is written
by the winners."

(♪♪♪)

♪ I'd like to walk around
in your mind someday ♪

♪ I'd like to walk all over
the things you say to me ♪

♪ I'd like to run and jump
on your solitude ♪

♪ I'd like to rearrange
your latitude to me ♪

♪ I'd sing my songs ♪

♪ And find out
just what they mean to you ♪

♪ But most of all
I'd like you to be unaware ♪

♪ And I'd just wander away ♪

♪ Trailing palm leaves
behind me ♪

♪ So you don't even know
that I've been there ♪