Vice Principals (2016–2018): Season 2, Episode 2 - Slaughter - full transcript

Gamby fingers a suspect, with Dayshawn's help; Russell tests out a kindness strategy at school.

Have you never really considered

why you got shot and Russell didn't?

What're you talking about?

Lee Russell, did you shoot me?

Of course I didn't.

But I have been trying
to figure out who would.

I sure have made a lot of enemies.

But you've also made a friend.

The reason that I brought you back here

is because I need your help.

There's a full-on revolt coming.

I don't know that I have what it takes.

I'm back!

And I'm ready to put my foot

inside someone's ass!

That's how it's done.

Will you double-check
the inventory list?

Felicia, I need you back up front.

Goddamn, motherfucker. You
need a new pair of kicks.

Them right there are raggedy as fuck.

These are my lucky
sneakers right here, Reggie.

They nasty as hell.

Got damn marinara sauce on 'em.

That's Mr. Gamby's blood right there.

I was wearing these when I found
his ass all shot up outside.

You've been walking around here with blood
on your shoes talkin' about they lucky?

- You damn right they lucky.
- They ain't lucky.

They crusty as a motherfucker.

Your hairnet is crusty
as a motherfucker.

All right, Mr. Bad-Ass.

The lucky man.

From thumb to pinky and
back again in 30 seconds.

Hundred bucks says you can't
do it more than 10 times.

Shit, that's easy money.

- Hundred in, two back?
- Ha! You got it.

- You ready?
- Y'all gather round.

- Uh-huh.
- Reggie about to lose her lunch money.

Okay, we gonna see about that.

You about to need a ride
home. Your bus fare is gone.

- Uh-huh. You about to lose a finger.
- Hoo-hoo-hoo!

- We gonna see. Mm-hmm.
- Call it, friendo.

- Talkin' shit. Go.
- You ready?

Somebody take a fuckin'
picture. I'm a bad motherfucker.


- Damn!
- It's all the way in there.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- --

- Get off me, man! I didn't do nothin'!
- Shut your mouth, Landry.

I've been tailing your ass for a week
and a half. I know you're my shooter!

And right now, Officer Willows
is about to find a 9mm handgun

wrapped in a trench coat with
possibly a Warriors' mask.

No, Gamby.

I'm not seein' any of that.

Look under that Norton
anthology book. What's there?

What's under Raisin in the Sun...

- I don't got no gun, man!
- Shut up!

Fuck. It's a scientific calculator.

All right, fine. Get
to class, goddamn it.

Keep walkin', Landry.

Do not dance... You son of a bitch.

Damn it, Gamby. You really made
me believe that kid was dangerous.

I almost tased his ass.

Well, maybe you should have, the
way he's dancing on your reputation.

You've had me put
handcuffs on three kids now.

I can't keep following
your crazy leads, man.

No more.

Maybe I'll just solve this
case on my own, Willows!

- Good!
- "Good"? Fuckin' watch!

- Hey.
- Jesus!

Why don't you announce yourself?

Neal Gamby. I'm here.

Do you see my face? I'm
trying to control my anger.

- Do you know why?
- No, I have no clue.

You're still wearing
that damn sweatshirt.

We are the Tigers, Gamby,

not the Warriors.

I like how this fits.
It's comfy. It's broken in.

- Well, it makes you look fat. Sit down.
- Goddamn it.

I hid my phone in the lounge.

- It's recording the teachers' meeting.
- "Recording"?

Well, I've heard that these
meetings are a hotbed for dissent.

I'm gonna be a fly on the wall,
find out who the shit-talkers are.

You're gonna have Nash in here?

Don't you think this is a
little above her pay grade?

Well, I'm trying

- to work her into the inner circle, Gamby.
- Yeah.

I want to be out there mixin'
it up with the crew, you know?

I work alone. I do not
have fuckin' partners, okay?

What the fuck are you talking
about? You partnered with me.

Fine. Stay out of my fucking way.

Shh! I think I hear them coming.

Welcome, all.

- I assume we've urvived the midterm.
- Here! Hey!

Yeah, are you kidding?

I could use about five
appletinis right now.

Speaking of which,

uh, I called ahead and
got our usual table.

Is everyone up for payday drinks?

- Yes. Oh, yes.
- Yes?

"Payday drinks," the
elitist motherfuckers.

Actually, I can't.

Sorry. I'm meeting Brian.

Brian. The elusive Brian.

- When do we get to meet him?
- Meet him? Um, never.

Ooh, sounds like Snodgrass is
getting railed by another man.

Shut up, Russell.

I got a whiff of Russell's
breath this morning,

I can still smell it.

That's Octavia LeBlanc.

Nobody thinks she's funny.

Wash your mouth, for Christ's sake.

You can smell him coming.

Can you tell me where he
buys his little costumes?

Those are the loudest
clothes I've ever seen.

- Unbelievable.
- Oh yeah.

And that cologne, my God.

Smells like Raid.

Lord, it burns my eyes
every time he walks by.

His hair burns my eyes, man.

Yes. Frosted tips?

You're not Greg Kinnear in the '90s.

- I hate him.
- Okay. All right. All right.

Uh... uh, I think we know now
what we didn't know from before.

So, if you don't mind, I'm just gonna...

make sure that this hard drive is...

backed up.

It's old, but it's got charm.

Where's the closest neighbor?

Uh, about a mile down the road.

Want to take a look inside?


Master bedroom is downstairs
and there's two more upstairs.

It smells like shit.
Did somebody die in here?

Uh, somebody actually did die.

What about that? Is that mine too?

The barn? Yep.

Property sits on 10 acres.

I'll take it.

I... I... I don't want
to jeopardize my sale,

but I... I do feel
it's my duty to at least

show you the whole place before...

any decisions are made.

I'll be honest with you, Robbie Rex.

Recently, someone tried to commit
first degree murder against my body.

And that killer is still at-large.

- Oh dear.
- "Oh dear" is right.

That's why I'm looking for a place

that can be secluded, heavily fortified.

So that I can plant intricate
booby traps around the property,

turn this place into an
impenetrable fortress.

'Cause let me tell you something.

My killer, he's coming back.

And when he does,

I'm gonna be fucking ready.

I think you're really
gonna like the place.

Yeah. Home is where the heart is.

Man, these are some tasty-ass ribs.

Good looking out, man.

- Thank you, man.
- So you, um...

Mr. Gamby's brother?

- That's not funny.
- Gale, we could be brothers.

Ray and I share a very deep bond.

No, we're not brothers though.

He's married to the woman.
She used to be my wife.

She bore me the girl.

Dayshawn is one of my
bestest friends at the school.

In fact, he's the first one

that came across my
bullet-riddled body.

He actually gave chase to the shooter.


Dayshawn, the real reason
I brought you here today...

well, to see if you could help
me to identify the shooter.

Oh, good Lord.

Janelle, baby, why don't you
take your food, go watch TV?


Janelle, don't watch any R-rated films.

You know, I busted her watching
Revenge of the Nerds the other day.

You know, that movie shows bush.

Dayshawn, in this binder are

all the individuals who
hold a grudge against me.

The shooter could be
any one of these people.

That's a thick-ass book.

I'm surprised there aren't more.

See? This is why I'm not married to her.


Now, Dayshawn, I want you
to look through this binder

and see if any of these
people look familiar to you.

- No.
- Him?

- Does this seem familiar?
- No. No, that's not it at all.

Is this, if he was
running behind, going...

- Does that look like who that could have been?
- No, nothing like that.

Mr. Gamby, all these black kids, man.

Yeah, you said that the
shooter had black hair.

Yeah, black like the color
black, not black like Afro.

Okay, you also said the hair was greasy.

It was greasy as a motherfucker.

Okay, and you also said
that the shooter was fast.

So, you see, Dayshawn,
this to me all points

to a Afro-American.

Man, this dude had black
hair like an Indian.

Like Gandhi?

Gandhi ain't have no hair.

This is like your boy
from, uh, Smoke Signals.

- You ever seen Smoke Signals?
- No, I've never seen that film.

Can you use a better reference?

It's black like, uh, them heavy
metal devil-worshipping motherfuckers.

- Devil-worshiper?
- Yeah, man.

Oh, shit. There you go.

- That's it.
- Robin Shandrell.

Very interesting.

Hello, Octavia.

Oh, this ought to be good.

Good morning, Lee.

Oh, well, it would
be a very good morning

if we didn't have so many
gossip hounds in this school.

Don't you know that it's rude

to talk about other
people behind their backs?

To what is it that you refer?

I just know that you are all mean
people who like to cut others down.

Well, good luck trying
to hurt my feelings,

because guess what? You can't.

I mean, yeah, if you want it.

Well, I love you.


- Was that him?
- Oh, hi.

Uh, who?

On the phone. The man.

- What man?
- Nothing.

- Uh, it was my mom.
- Oh, 'cause I was gonna say,

that's a little soon to
be saying that to him.

Saying what?

"I love you."

- I mean, I'm not saying that.
- No.

- I'm saying if you were saying it to him,
- Yeah, no...

if it had been him, then
that would have been too soon.

I'm just saying it to, um, to my mom.

Yeah, well, you've known your mom
for a long time, so it's natural.

Who... who's that? What you doin'?

Anything fun?

It's Robin Shandrell.

He's the number one
suspect in my shooting case.

Oh, my God.

Is that a whole binder of suspects?

Oh, my God, yes, it is.

Be very glad I don't put Brian in here.

- Excuse me?
- You heard me.

Why don't you just keep
your nose clean, Snodgrass?


Swift, wake your ass up.

I'm leaving campus to go run an errand.

If anybody asks, just tell 'em that

- because it's true.
- Okay.

Mind if I come with?

Actually, Nash, this is
more of a solo mission.

Yeah, but Russell said

ya supposed to show me the ropes.

Well, I'm not sure you
can handle these ropes.

Try me.

Fine, I will.

I'll try you by fire.

Let's go, rookie.

Let's see what kind of man you are.

Now, Nash, sometimes, you're
gonna have to leave school grounds,

even during school hours if it means

interrogating a
potential murder suspect.

Suspect, huh?

- Who's the perp?
- Robin Shandrell.

He's a kid who used to
go to North Jackson High.

Found the ultimate
payload of all his reefers.

Busted his ass and had him expelled.

Now he's working here
at this slaughterhouse,

killing fucking pigs.

My theory? He's been plotting
his revenge for the last year,

waiting for the perfect
opportunity to strike.

- What do you see?
- Okay, let's see.

- A couple of big, fat white guys...
- No, he's not overweight.

- He's not overweight.
- Okay, let's see.

I got a Hispanic with a little goatee,

- big, fat white guy...
- Doesn't matter what their hair's like, Nash.

- He's not Mexican, okay?
- All right. Oh...

Ooh, ooh, freaky, spiky-haired
kid coming out now.

Really pasty white.

That's him. That's Robin Shandrell.

Of course he cut his hair, huh?

He doesn't want to be noticed.

He's hiding.

All the fucking makeovers in the
world won't hide his filthy soul.

Filthy, filthy fucking soul.

Feel kind of weird going to his house.

It's not weird, Nash.

Just keep an eye out. What's he doing?

Aw, jeez!

- No, he's walking over here!
- He's what?

Shit, Nash!

Get out of the fucking car, Gamby.

Settle down.

Robin Shandrell.

Me and my associate here
were just doing some fly-bys.

We... we were looking for truants.
I didn't know you lived here.

You're spying on me.
I saw you at my work.

Maybe I fucking was, huh?

I'm on to you, you freak piece of shit.

I know you're the one who shot me.

I heard about that.

Yeah, but I'm really fucking
glad that it happened.

You know why? Do you
know why I'm fucking glad

that it happened, Gamby?

I'm fucking happy because
you're a piece of fucking shit!

- Watch it, punk.
- Shut the fuck up!

You watch it! You want to
get your melon knocked off?

I'll knock your fucking melon off!

Get back here, Shandrell. Confess.

Confess into my
voice-mail application now!

Why don't you fucking frame
me like the last time, Gamby?

What the hell are you
talking about, Shandrell?

You got caught selling drugs at school

and you got busted. Case closed.

I never kept my shit in my locker.

I'm not that fucking stupid.

- How'd it get there?
- How the hell am I supposed to know?

'Cause you planted it.

You framed me. That's what you did.

Nash, get him. Go, go, go!

- Hey!
- Get back here!

- Aah!
- Oh, shit!


- How dare you, Shandrell!
- Oh, God.

You haven't heard the last from us!

- Oh... God.
- Nash, come to me.

I appreciate your follow-through there.

That was good. You followed
directions, but you need to be quicker.

- That's not fast enough.
- Thanks.


Tell me what's going on, Lee.

I used to be friends
with all the teachers...

then I became principal and
they all started complainin',

whinin' and talkin' shit.

You're the leader of the school.

You have a different
relationship with them now.

I'm sure you'll find the balance.

Not with Ms. LeBlanc
leading the wolfpack.

Talkin' about my fuckin'... My breath.

Your breath?

I wanna kill her so bad.

I wanna do like the Muslims

and chop her fuckin'
head off, Christine,

and make a video out of it.

Okay, well, I know you, Lee,

and when you get upset,
you fly off the handle.

You might just make it worse.

You catch more flies with honey.

Excuse me?

The teachers are the
ones being assholes.

They're the ones who
need to use some honey.

You dusty old queef.

Oh, Christine, I'm sorry.

You set me up. I had to.

Christine, please don't... Christine?

Nobody gets my sense of humor.

Maybe the best way to win their loyalty

is to be nice.

If you give them nothing
to complain about,

they have no power against you.

Kindness is power.

That is beautiful.


Mm. Fuck yeah.


You smell that?

Surprise, surprise!

It is...

sushi time in the teachers' lounge!

Uh, this is, uh, Yuki San.

- Hey.
- Arigato. He says arigato. "Hi."

Uh, he works next to the
fish counter at Albertson's,

but I was able to
wrangle him for the day.

We have, uh... Uh, spicy tuna, unagi,

salmon roll, and shrimp tempura.

Oh, and, uh, and Bruce, he's even doing

a little cream cheese thing for you

because you, well, you seem
like you might like those.

It... it looks left over
from another function.

- Is it fresh?
- Oh, it is so fresh.

It is caught daily.

And I paid for it, so
I know that it's fresh.

I know how much it costs.

Well, come on, y'all.
What's the hold up?

Yuki is gonna get his feelings hurt.

I think we're just not
in the mood for sushi.

Not in the mood?

Oh, come on, y'all.

Look, I'm just trying to be
good ol' Cool Hand Lee here

to let y'all know
that nothing's changed.

Look, my new mission
is to be the coolest

goddamn boss in the whole world.

She is laughing.

She is... she's laughing.

Was that a... a joke, Ms. LeBlanc?

"Boss"? That's how you see yourself?

Well, I'm the principal,

so I am technically
the boss of everyone.

- Not me. I work for the district.
- Uh, no, you work for me.

No, actually, for the district.

Look, this is childish, and I'm not
gonna get into an argument with you.

I don't have to prove to anyone here

the position of the principal

and where he is on the...
On the top of the heap.

- If you were...
- You wouldn't even be the principal

if two other people
hadn't crapped out on us.

You are not the king of the heap.

You are the last man standing.


Okay, y'all. Well, I get it.

I guess I'll just leave,

so that you can talk about my hair

or my breath

or how stupid I look in my clothes.

I'll just leave this sushi
for... all of you here.

I'll just put it in a place
where... where you can...

- get it to...
- What are you doing?

Lee! Lee!

Here, here's this. Let's
not forget the cream cheese.

- Jesus Christ!
- And oh, my word, why not have some

sauce with this and have some...


You can take my attempt
at a loving gesture

and eat it off the fucking floor.

Big Willows, grab your Uzi.

We're gonna go bust
the a-hole that shot me.

I already told you,
Gamby. No more leads.

I have a real suspect now.
His name is Robin Shandrell,

and he basically already
confessed to the attempted murder.

Well, if that's so,
I would need a warrant

to do a home search,
and I don't have one.

Goddammit, Willows. You pencil-pusher.

Are you saying I gotta
take care of this on my own?

No, I'm not saying that at all.

What I'm saying is do nothing.

You go over there trying
to bust that kid yourself,

you'd be breaking all kinds of laws.

Do you understand?

Can I borrow your sidearm
and your sunglasses?

Hell no.

I guess now I know what
"Willows" stands for.

"Pussy Willows."

Goddammit, Gamby.

Russell, I need to
split out of here early.

Is that okay with you?

You okay?

I'm all alone, Gamby.

The teachers hate me now.

You are my one true ally.

Come on, man.

Who cares if the
teachers don't like you?

They've never liked
me. I don't give a shit.

What are you doing with
Mr. King's bolt cutters?

You're gonna do something
fucked up, aren't you?

No, it's just part of my investigation.

Invent... You're doing
investigation stuff without me?

I told you that I would
help you with that, Gamby.

I know, Russell,

but you're the principal. I'm
just trying to keep you out of it

- since I'm doing off-the-record type stuff.
- Please. Fuck that.

I wanna get my hands
dirty, like last semester.

I don't know, Russell.
This could get a little...

That's what I'm countin' on.

Okay, I'm gonna go through the
side window and penetrate that.

I need you to go to the
front and create a diversion.

A diver... Uh, no! What?
I'm not ready for that.

- What am I supposed to do?
- Come on, Russell.

You're the principal,
man. Command the situation.


I am the fucking principal.


Um... um...

Hello, my name is Lee Russell,

the principal of North
Jackson High School.

I understand that your
son was in an altercation

with a female school official yesterday

and I would like to
question him, please.

Robin! Somebody to see you.

Hello, Robin. Do you remember me?

Lee Russell?

I'm principal now.

Yeah, I don't give a shit what you are.

Well, you should. You hit my VP.

And hittin' ladies does
not fly at my school.

You hit a woman, Robin? What
the fuck is wrong with you?

- Are you a fucking idiot?
- Uh, hey.

Robin. Now, Robin, you
can either deal with me

right here, right now, or Ms.
Nash may have to press charges.

I wish you would arrest
him. No-good son of a bitch.

I didn't do anything fucking wrong.

They're the ones who were spying on me.

I'm not gonna fucking apologize
to your vice principal's shit.

I didn't... I didn't do anything wrong.

- I'm not saying that you did anything...
- Yes, you are! That's...

Robin, hey.

All you gotta do is talk to me.

I don't wanna talk to you.

And get the fuck out of my house.

Uh, excuse me.

I am the principal of
North Jackson High School

and I need to... you need
to come right back here

is what you need to do.

What's the matter, Paw-Paw?

- Did you doo-doo?
- No.

- Did you poo, Paw-Paw?
- Mm.

All right, Paw-Paw,
let's get a bath, okay?

Look at me, Paw-Paw.

It's me. It's Robin.

I'll always be here.

- I'll always take care of you.
- Mm.

Come on, Paw-Paw.

Oh, holy shit.

Oh, it feels so good to be
back on the ol' wrecking crew.

Oh, that kid,

he's definitely your shooter.

Did you see how poor his family was?

Poor people always commit crimes.

It's in their DNA.

Russell, there's something
I need to get off my chest.

You know when I busted Shandrell

- last school year?
- Mm-hmm.

I may have put my thumb on
the scales of justice a bit.

The marijuana that was
found in his locker...

I planted it.


- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I know, I know.

You framed a child?

I just didn't see any
other way, you know?

He's... he's sitting there
dealing drugs at school

and all the students know that he is.

You know, and what kind
of leader does that make me

if I just let it happen
right under my fucking nose?

I had to send a message
to the student body.

You break the law, I fuck you raw.

That's a Gamby promise.

Well, it takes somebody

mighty dirty to do something

that is that beautiful.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

No nonsense.

- So you think that that's cool?
- Cool?

I think that's super fresh.

I don't know. I'm just kind
of... struggling with it.

- I feel like I ruined this kid's life...
- "Struggling"?

- And I'm just trying to figure out if it
was the right thing. - "Struggling"?

- Did I go too far?
- "Too far"?

You're an inspiration.

I know what it is that I have to do now.

All those fuckin' teachers
who talk shit about me,

LeBlanc, Carter, Kingsbury,
Ross and Snodgrass,

they all about to get fucked
raw is what's going to happen.

I need to send a message
the Neal Gamby way.

Well, maybe don't fuck Snodgrass raw.

- I mean...
- Why?

She doesn't even like you.

- She's probably getting 69'd right now.
- Don't say that.

She probably is. She's probably getting
held up just like this right now.

No, that's gross. Russell.


I'll spare Snodgrass.

The Gamby way.

Ms. LeBlanc?

Principal Russell wants to see ya.


- Russell, they're all here.
- Hello, everyone.

Thank you all for coming
out here and joining me.

This is a very special place for me,

a place that I like
to come to and think.

Now, I've brought you here
because you all need a lesson

in respecting your superiors.

You can't be serious.

Oh, I'm serious, Bruce.

I'm as serious as the heart attack

that you had last year.

Oh, for the love of God, Russell.

Is this about not wanting to eat sushi?

No, Ms. LeBlanc.

This is way bigger than eating sushi.

This is about me...

firing all of you.


Now, I've had Mr. Gamby
gather your personal effects.

If I see you again on this campus,

you will be shot on sight.

Whoa, whoa, Lee.

This is cruel! Vindictive!

Oh, please.

Ruth Ann, if I was being cruel
and vindictive, I'd talk about

you smelling up the teachers'
lounge every day with your poop.

1:30 every day, in there
straight fucking killing it.

Smells like goats at the fair.

- IDs in the bucket. Come on.
- Oh, come on.

- Yeah. Come. You. Right here.
- No. Uh-uh.

- Uh-huh.
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Relax! Jeez!
- Bruce, just do it.

- Let's go. All of 'em.
- Jeez!

- Come on.
- Throw it in, Bruce.

- Throw it in.
- Do it, Bruce.

Oh, this is smart.

This is very, very intelligent, Lee.

Oh, that's brilliant.


Jeez! Whoa!

"When one with honeyed words..."

Ms. LeBlanc,

why don't you take your Euripides

and shove it up your ass

before I have Gamby frog-walk you

the fuck out of this forest?

Get the fuck out of here!


- Lee...
- Go, go.

Go, you bunch of has-beens.

This is my life's work!

I'm too old to start a new school!

Ruth Ann, stop embarrassing yourself.

Go. You'll get a job... somewhere.

Well, if it isn't Bill Hayden.

I'm so happy you could come join us.

- You're hurting me!
- Gamby...

why don't you do the honors?

Have yourself a thrill kill.

Oh, I don't have anything
against Bill Hayden anymore.

- I'm not pursuing Snodgrass.
- Oh, come on.

Get a little blood in your mouth.

Remember how good it tastes.

You know what to ask.

Hand me your fuckin' ID, Bill.

You know what?

I don't even care.

This school's gone
to shit anyway, Gamby.

So, fuck you.

And fuck you.

- Fuck you! Fuck you!
- No, fuck you.




- That was good.
- I'm back. I'm back.

I'm back! Oh, my God!


Ice-cold killer, Gamby!

Fucking brutal!

Just like you, Gamby!

Just like you!

Just like you!

Thank you, my friend!


What are you doing here?

This is no life for a boy your age.

You don't give a fuck. You don't care.

No, that's not true.

I very much do give a fuck.

You and I both know

that what I did to you wasn't right.

- I want to change that.
- Why?

You think just because you say sorry

that everything's okay? 'Cause it's not.

You still did what you did.

I know. I don't think it will
make everything okay, but...

hopefully this could...

be a step in the right direction.

Re-admission papers
to North Jackson High.

You can return to school if you want to.

If you come back, you can't fuck around.

You can't sell drugs, you
can't act like an asshole.

You gotta fall in line.

Can you do that?


See you at school.

Dayshawn, my man.

What's up, Mr. Gamby?

I wanted to apologize to you for
the rib dinner. It wasn't enough.

Oh, no, man. I thought
them ribs was tasty as fuck.

Thank you, man.

No, don't thank me.
I'm trying to thank you.

I got something for you.

Something I feel is more
appropriate for you saving my life.

Wow, man. That's, uh...

- Yup.
- Oh, shit! Look at that!

Looks like we both in
this motherfucker for real.

Immortalized. Two heroes, you
and I. So, what do you say?

Are we even for you saving my life?

Uh, sure, dude.

Life debt repaid.

I'm cool with it if you are.

- Who the fuck is that?
- I don't know,

but that's a nice-ass car.

You're not supposed
to pick up people here.

This is strictly for buses.

Hi! Perfect timing!

Where's she going to?

You okay, Mr. Gamby?

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- --