Veronica Mars (2004–2007): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Wrath of Con - full transcript

In an attempt to help out Wallace win over a potential girlfriend, Veronica takes on the case of tracking down an Internet fraud ring, which leads her to an underground gaming community. ...

Previously on Veronica Mars...

Why does she hate me?

She'd hate anyone she thought that Duncan might love as much as her.

Friendly advice. Watch her. She'll break the two of you up if she can.

Ducan Kane. He used to be my boyfriend.

It's been a year since my best friend Lilly Kane was murdered.

That's my girlfriend. Your friend. Duncan's sister.

I think we could be a little more patient, Jake.

We all lost Lilly and we all miss her.

But that doesn't mean we stop living our lives.

The truth is gonna come out. It doesn't add up. You know that deep down inside.

- Flat?
- Just as God made me.

Do you need some help?

- I'm Troy.
- I'm Veronica.

Okay. I'm uh...

- I'm really leaving now.
- Okay.


See you.

Okay. Good night, all right, no more. Good night.

You know, uh, if we were the type of people who attended school functions,

this would probably be the time that I'd ask you to Homecoming Dance.

So, what did you think of him?

Oh, hey, you're home early.

Oh hey, did you run his licence plate? Or did you get fingerprints?

Sorry, honey, what?

You know you're not fooling me.


Veronica, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, hey, I forgot to tell ya.

If he's gonna be kissing my daughter on my porch for eight and a half minutes, I'll need to meet him.

Sweet dreams, honey.

Is that really necessary?

He's taking up a lot of daddy-daughter time. I hardly get to see you.

- I see you constantly.
- Oh sure.

You see me but we don't do anything.

You buy your Homecoming dress without me?


Why do you insist on suppressing your hotness?

The world is ready for you Veronica Mars. You don't have to blend in.

I'm not trying to blend in.

I mean, wha-, none of this reflects your personality at all.

I'm- why, why do you even have this? You are not a yellow cotton dress.

What am I?

You're like-you're-

you're red satin.

You are strapless red satin. Look at this.

But there's no time for red satin, Lilly, the dance is tomorrow.

Oh, god, you, wait a minute. You know that we're not really going to the dance, right?

Wait, what are you talking about?

The dance is just a lame excuse for a new dress and a limo party.

Logan has got all the refreshments taken care of so it's going to be amazing.

No, I can't do that.

You know my dad, he will find out and I'll get crushed.

You'll get grounded.


Oh, whoop-de-frigging-doo, Veronica, I mean, grounding lasts what, a week?

You are gonna remember this fun we have for the rest of your life.

Trust me.

Let me help you with that

You have to let me do something, Wallace.

Okay, that was the pile you just got finished alphabetizing, wasn't it?

Actually, it was two piles.

Who could be a bigger spaz, seriously?

Yes, you could have knocked over three piles.

I'm so sorry.

You would have been out of here two hours ago if it wasn't for me.

Really not a problem.

Okay, you can stop being nice. I know I ruined your whole night.


Trust me.

You have it.

I think I did something really stupid.

See, I got this email...

This guy Karl is super-rich.

A trust fund kid.

And I guess he has a gambling problem and he got into trouble

so he sent an email to a friend asking for help, and...

Overflowing toilets. Use the faculty restroom.

Well, okay, first of all, a trust fund kid doesn't
send a message from grantastic tech dot com domain.

That's pure nerd.

Hey buddy, I know we've not been in contact
for a while but I'm hoping you can help.

He was offering over 200% interest.

And I only had to loan him the money for two weeks.

Until his 21st birthday when he gets his trust fund.

So you called and told him you'd front the cash.

Yeah, and everything would've been fine if he
would've paid me two weeks ago, like he said.

Everything's gonna be fine, okay Georgia.

We'll get him.

Will we now?

Hi Karl, it's Amber. Um, I got an email from you,

I guess by mistake but I think I can help you.
Give me a call. 555-0196.

And I'm late for bio, again.

Ten per cent of whatever I recover.

Hi! You've reached Amber. Leave me a message.

Did I tell you?

...last day to buy homecoming tickets.

No homecoming tickets for the dance will be sold after that time.

Kicking off the homecoming festivities, the dedication of the Lilly Kane Memorial Fountain.

The Kane family would like to invite all students and faculty

to attend the tribute and celebrate the memory

of one of Neptune High's most beloved students.

And in other news...

You and me, Thursday night, I'm thinking mini-golf.

It's what all the kids are doing.

But you don't golf.

My dad wants to meet you.

That's cool.

I'll pick you up at the door. I mean I can't do the beep and wipe but that's no problem.

My dad's a little intense.

Don't worry. I give good parent.

And just so I can make the appropriate arrangements.

Homecoming is a go, right?

This should make me happy.

Yeah, yeah, it'll be fun.

The big dance being a staple of every high school girl's fantasy.

I've already lived the dream.

Everything else seems like a cheap reminder.

Lilly! Dear! Everyone is waiting.

What the hell is she doing? How long does it take to put on a dress?

Honey, you know your sister. It's not an entrance if she's on time.

Maybe you should go and help her.

Ah-umm, I think she's got it covered.

I believe Keanu Reeves said it best, when he said,


All right, let's, ah, let's make with the pictures before the, um, glitter rubs off.


- Could you... Mr K-
- Oh yeah, of course.

You all look very nice.

Lilly, could you...

Hey, I'm only young once. How many braless years do I have left.

All right. Let's go.

- Be careful
- Be safe out there.

Ladies and gentlemen, Veronica Mars,

I've talked to that girl more today than I have in the past four months combined.

- Her pain is your pleasure?
- Hey, hey, I'm the cavalry.

I get to save the day.

We are going to save the day? Right?


Oh yeah, this is Amber.

Oh my god, hi!

Of course I can meet you today, what time?

What are you doing?

Ah. My mother thought it would be nice

to have a video tribute of Lilly for the dedication ceremony.

- What, she wanted you to do it?
- No my dad did.

He wanted someone who knew her.

Do you want me to do it, man?

You know I'm awesome at this stuff. Come on, let me do it. I wanna do it.

- Thanks man.
- Yeah.

Is that him?

I don't think so.



That's me!

You must think I'm the biggest loser, sending my friends emails, begging for money.

I really don't know when this became my life.

Well, gambling is an addiction.

You know? It is, Amber.

Thank you for understanding. You're saving my life. Literally.

That's not him.

But I think Karl had on the same outfit.

He even had the same ugly backpack.

Stay right here.

Be careful, Wallace.

So, just so that we're clear,

the deal is I give you $3000 this week and you give me $6000 next week?

On my 21st birthday.

That's the day my trust fund is unlocked.

So who do I make the cheque out to?

I'm sorry. Didn't I tell you that it had to be in cash?

Did you?

Remember? I can't deposit anything at the bank

because all my accounts are frozen...

until my birthday.

Okay, I'll-... it must be the hair.


Should we meet back here tomorrow?

Tomorrow. Same time?


Karl? I can trust you, right?

You can trust me, Amber.

Hand to God.

And where do conmen go when they're done conning for the day?

To a funky Bohemian theatre for an avant-garde staging of a Beckett play, naturally.

You've gotta be kidding me.

Hey, listen, I'll catch you guys later, okay?

- Hey man, nice job.
- Hey, thanks man.

What are you doing here?

I'm a huge Beckett fan.

Hand to God!

Wait a minute. This is part of the show, right?

Naw, you're not gonna get me like that. T! Liam!

You guys can come out, I'm ain't buying it.

So... is this a part of the same episode or am I getting paid again?

What are you talking about?


What, you're telling me that "Duped!" is a show?

Oh, I thought you were part of this.

Yeah, it's one of those reality shows where people get duped into doing stupid things

like giving some stranger their car or a bunch of money.

There were no cameras!

You're not supposed to see them, that's the whole point. Right?

There's no show, Jimmy!

What are you talking about there's no show. I auditioned, I got cast!

It's a scam. My friend, Georgia was duped about two weeks ago

out of $6000 by some other trust fund Karl.

N-no, no.

How did you find out about this?

There was an ad in "Back Stage West".

Open call but, you know, I'm between agents right now.

They just called me today to tell me I got the job.

Do you still have the number on your cell phone?

Now wait. You're telling me there's no show?

For real? This isn't a dupe?

There it is.

Hey, what about my SAG points?

A pay phone that doesn't accept incoming calls. Shocker.

From a place called Gameland. I guess it's a cybercaf? but I'll check it out.

Naw, it's not a cybercaf?, it's a gaming club.

It's like a bunch of computer nerds trying to blow each other up.

Only girls they see in there are japanimated.

So, you're not going to really blend.

So I won't blend.


I have one word. Ownage.

I care

And, I just fried you again.

Can you watch my stuff?


Grrrantula, a gamer. Email from grrrantastic-tech.

A coincidence, I think not.


Now lets see if I can't get Grrrantula's attention.

Stop killing your own team.

Hey, cut the crap.

Come on, loser. Show yourself.

Hey! I'm on your team, lamer!

Wow! I'm really bad at this.


Hey, it's not ownage, I'm on your team!


- What was the first name?
- Here, it'll be faster.

It was hiding under the Q's.

Grrrant's ID indicated he was living in Lannigan Hall at San Diego State.

A university known for its liberal arts, its picturesque campus

and its parties.

It's not going to work.

You can't take the cool out of me.

Look, pocket protector and I'm still full of pimp juice.

Shouldn't you be a little more sombre for your poor scammed girlfriend?

Now you know she's not my girlfriend

so why are you even trying to play it like that?

Like what?

Like you wanna have this whole conversation about whether I like her or whatever.

Like we just got out of cheerleading practice. Guys don't do that.



If a guy likes someone, he just likes her.

He doesn't need to have a five hour talk about it

So you like her, but we're just not having a talk about it?


Do you like her a lot?

Yes, I like her a lot. Yes, I go two floors out of my way between classes so I can see her.

Yes. I volunteer to reorganise an entire filing system of attendance crap,

just so I can be in the same room with her.

You happy?

- I still think you're a badass.
- And I am.

And nobody's gonna buy me as a nerd.

You've already been bought. I called the resident advisor

and I told him you were a prospective freshman.

And they believed you because?

Because I do a surprisingly convincing admissions assistant.

But, tonight, you lucky boy, I'm all nerd hag.

Okay, let's get this party started because I am hungry for gratitude.

Okay, it's my turn?

- Logan.
- Truth.

What did you think of Veronica the first time you saw her.

I don't know, I thought she was hot.

I was 12 when you moved here!

Oh, and, like you weren't working it in your shorts and your kneesocks.

- That was my soccer uniform!
- So, whatever! It totally worked!

Okay, Lilly.



Okay, kiss someone in this limo.

Here we go.

Oh no!

A little girl on girl action in the limo.

Oh, man! Dude! That's my sister and my girlfriend.

Yeah, dude, like that one's not in the rotation.

Dude, this is my dad's tux.

Didn't know man.


I'm soaked!

Our boyfriends are all class.

Tick-tock! Very cute girl in need of our help right now.

Yeah so, we're pretty chill around here.

I mean there's rules and stuff but it's mostly, like, don't light stuff on fire,

don't get caught with drugs, you know?

C ool.

Hey, I think I know that guy.

Grant. Yeah, he's pretty famous around here.

He's like a genius or something.

Him and that bouncer looking dude over there.

They call them the Silicon Mafia.

Basically, around here, these guys are legend.

This dude. Got caught looking at Grant's laptop screen.

The next day he was put on academic probation
because his GPA dropped from a 3.8 to a 1.5.

Overnight on the university computer system.

And they have a security system like with laser beams.

I think they're building robots or something.

I felt the wall in the dorm next to theirs and it was way hot.

Do you know how many grill lights they probably have in there?

The walls are so hot, it's because they have a million dollar bag of super computers.

That they bought with their weed money.

Um, it is okay for people to be shooting Roman Candles down the stairways.

Oohh, man. You know?

So, what do you plan in majoring in?

- Math.
- Math, wow.

So, what are you into?

Accounts theory, PDEs, joint methods. What's your thing?

I'm pretty interested in, ah, joint methods.

Right now.

For error estimation or neutrality?

I know this is gonna sound kinda weird but... I'm interested in both.

'One can conjecture' or 'Fermat's last theorem'.

Which better defines geometry in three dimensional space?

What the hell are you doing?

They told me this was Sri Lanka. I wanted a coconut toddy.

- What the hell's going on?
- We had an intruder.

How did you open the door?

I don't know, I just opened it.

It's impossible, it's always locked.


And the real way the Silicon Mafia finances their empire comes clear.

I don't feel so good, Papa bear.

Papa bear.

Never happened.

My first college party.

Drinking Pina Coladas with a dude and talking about math.

They've gotta be hiding something big in that dorm room to have that much security.

I mean, an alarm that sends a message to your cell phone?

What's wrong with a deadbolt?

Wow! You've got it bad.

Nothing bad about this my friend.

Mom, if you don't put the camera down, I won't go out there.

What part of my ignoring you makes
you think you're welcome?

What are you doing?

Assembling the world's most boring memorial video.


choir recital, debutante crap...

girl scouts.

Memories both misty and water-coloured.

It's Lilly as a long-distance commercial.

Well, it isn't really about Lilly, is it.

God, this would piss her off.

Come on, Veronica, it's your turn. Do not lame out.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

I've never...

...gone skinny dipping.


That is just unacceptable. We're gonna have to do something about that, Veronica Mars.

Oh, oh okay.

I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boys' locker room

after watching the cheerleader tryouts.

Dude, you are so dead.

How pervy, Duncan! I am a little impressed though.

You must drink, comrade.

Wait! Please tell me that was before we started dating.

Of course.

I've never, um, I've-I've never seen my parents having sex.

No way.

Yeah. I went into their room to borrow Mom's black sweater,

- Mom was on top of Dad...
- I want you to shut up...

- Hold on a second...
- Oh my god, I don't want to see this.

- She was like this, watch... she was like this...
- Oh my god.

Lilly, that is so wrong.

I promise, but I think Dad probably thought so too.

I've got one. I, um, I have never not had sex.

Wait, what does that even mean?

That means, drink if you are a virgin.

What the hell.

- Whoa, Duncan! I'm shocked.
- You are so cool.

Oh, so cool, man...

I love you, I love you, I...

Oh yeah...

Yeah. You're my girlfriend.

I don't think this really constitutes quality time.

I've never loved you more.

It's a good cause. These guys ripped off a friend at school.

And there's a World's Greatest Dad trophy in your future.

We were flying over with the heat seeking cameras.

Came across some high intensity discharge lamps.

Looks like someone's cultivating a little MaryJ.

Mind if I come in?

- What's going on?
- What's your name, son?



Any drugs on the premises, Mr Winters?


No sir.

You sure about that, plants, seeds, any cannabis seedlings of any kind?


Look, we don't have any drugs, okay?

And don't you need like a warrant or something?

What do I need a warrant for? There's nothing here.

Come on.

- Why did you let him in?
- You're the one who let him in.

And why wasn't the alarm on? It supposed to be on even when we're here.

- I'm heading to the snack bar.
- Set the alarm.


Oh my god!

I'll be right there.

So. Veronica tells me, um...

well actually she hasn't told me anything about you.

Well, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Neither do I.

Well, if you have any questions or, you know, you want a list of references or anything...

So you're going to the homecoming dance.

Oh yes, sir, if that's okay with you.

Of course. And after the dance?

Why-I think that, uh, Veronica said that she had to be right home after, so...

Yeah, good.

And you're gonna stay for the whole dance, I mean, you're not gonna leave early

to go to a party or a hotel and still make it back by curfew?

No, you-ah, I mean...

the whole point of going to the dance

is to go to the dance.


So you won't mind them that I cancelled your reservation at the Four Seasons?

I'm here, I'm here.

So. Who's ready for mini-golf?


Hi, Grant Winters, this is admission calling.


Someone from admissions wants to talk to you.

Grant Winters.

Bill Smith, Admissions. Are you free Thursday night?

Sorry, we're really not interested in showing some provo around campus.

Oh, that's a shame. We wanted to land this student before MIT snatched him up.

And he asked for you and your crew specifically.


Yeah, I'm sure he did. Sorry, but-

We're providing three tickets to Gameland to a private screening of a new game,

maybe you've heard of it.

It's the Matrix online game.


How's it going?

It's very "Wonder Years".

Celeste will love it.

So... I was going through some of my stuff and I found this.

- What is it?
- It's not a violin recital.

I've got a lot of work to do.

Yeah. No, me too.

Dude, we're gonna see the new Matrix online game, we're finally gonna see it.

Did you see the video posters with their rag doll effects, man, Visi-tinjun is killer.

What are you doing?

Just text messaging my girlfriend, tell her how psyched I am.

In the past 24 hours of surveillance, this is what I've learned.

The so-called Silicon Mafia has developed a game that'll make "Quake" look like "Asteroids".

They've raised their start-up capital by swindling needy and greedy college

and high school students using a variation of the Nigerian scam.

With no investors, they stand to make millions.

Unless, somehow, someone trips them up along the way.


I really hate these guys.

What the hell?

Wow. I can't believe there's no party.

I feel so duped.

What the hell?

It's the alarm on the backup drives.

I set the room alarm.

Then why didn't it go off? You can't get to the backups without getting into the room.

Oh, the backups are fine. Nobody's getting into that safe.

What the hell?

Oh my god.

The backup drives.

Hey buddy, I was hoping you could... help me.

I'm coming into my trust fund next week and if you give me $7600 tomorrow night,

I'll give you your hard drives back.

Hello boys, let me guess what you're thinking.

Paybacks are a bitch.

Yeah, something like that.

Well, here, you're the math whiz.

- It's all there.
- Like we trust you.

Yeah, I think that's all of it.

Our commission's included?



Can we have our backup drives now?

You need to lay off the caffeine, Grrrant.

'Cause you're downright testy.

Your backups are in the garbage can, next to the bench.

Yeah, you might have to dig a little.

This just doesn't seem fair.

I keep thinking about all the people who were scammed

and how they don't have kickass friends.

Did you know there's a whole anti-fraud agency in the FBI?

I guess it's a big deal.

And I was shocked to see how interested they
were in the information I had on Liam and Grant.

Game over.

- I got one, I got one.
- You got one?

Oh my god. They called the cops.

They called my dad.

This is like, the best dance ever.

What seems to be the problem, officer?


Are you drunk?

Not so much anymore.

You are absolutely unbelievable. Why do you insist on humiliating me?

Um, two kids, both out all night and one getting screamed at?

'Cause I know you, Lilly.

Any trouble this family has ever had, you've been at the root of it.

Mom! It's my fault, it was my idea.

You listen, both of you. Inside the house. Come on.

Sorry, Dad.

We'll talk at home.

Jake, Celeste. Thanks for the coffee.

Thank you to the Neptune High Orchestra.

I know if Lilly were here, she would have been moved by that rendition.

Lilly really loved this place.

So it's only fitting that as long as this fountain remains here,

a part of Lilly will always be here.

And you, her peers will always be reminded

what a generous, kind, sweet girl she was

and how she embodied Pirate pride and the school motto,

service, loyalty, honour.

Hello America! You wanted Lilly. You got her.

Now sit back and enjoy the ride.

You love me don't you?

Hey, Weev, let's hit it.


Yeah, yeah. Let's ride man, Let's go, the night's young.

Do you mind if we make a stop?

There's something I need to do.

Well, I don't think that's a good idea, we should probably go right to the dance, right.

I told your dad...

You have to stay here.

Don't ask me, man.

Stopped trying to figure her out day one.