Veni Vidi Vici (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Episode #1.10 - full transcript

[music on headphones]

♪ I need some meat
on my bones ♪

♪ Gonna get some meat
on my bones ♪

♪ I need something
for my soul ♪

♪ I need some meat
on my bones ♪

♪ Brother, my brother ♪


Do you think
they're good enough?

Give them some time.

Those goddamn brothers will
soon know what happens when
they fuck with AÅke Liljegren!

We need to be prepared.

Let's not get too worked up, OK?

Of course!

But this anger must come out.
Shoot, boys! Shoot like hell!

Why is there a man on our couch?

That's a good question,
considering we have
a spare room.

Sit down and eat.

That's Vincent, my producer.

We got home late last night
and he preferred the couch.

Dad is making a commercial
for Nike.

- Yeah. That's cool.
- We'll see.

We're pitching an idea, so we
need to do some brainstorming.

- That's why Vincent is here.
- Right. The stud.

- Now I remember. Nyhavn!
- What?

Nyhavn! You know,
when Lotta and I were there

and you came into
the restaurant.
It's him!

- Vincent?
- Yeah.

He was standing outside
with those porno actors.

- I'm sure it was him.
- That's impossible, Jonna.

Vincent was in Aarhus all day.

He was out scouting locations
and stuff.

It couldn't possibly
have been him.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

He sure looked like your friend.

Yeah, but it wasn't him.

That mustache makes him
look like a porn star.


- Kiss...
- Bye- bye.

[door opens, closes]

Wake up.

This is much too dangerous.
You need to leave.

Take it easy! The brothers
won't ever come to Sweden.

It's too cold
in this shitty country.

Denmark is on the other side
of the water and is colder!

- Is there any coffee?
- Quiet. Come.

- Is there any coffee?
- Come here!

[Angela] What the hell
are you talking about?

[Pinxo] All this talk about his
films... You're a die- hard fan.

- You have the hots for him.
- Shut up. Shut up!

- Shut the fuck up!
- Fuck you!

- You piece of shit.
- Come on, let's do this.




Anybody here?



What the fuck?


They don't teach you to knock?

- There's no fucking door
to knock on.
- What do you want?

What the fuck is that?


[music on headphones]

- Yes?
- Where is Vinny?

I don't know where he is.

- Do you know what happened
to all the milk?
- Yeah, the milk...

The police came,
but it's not a problem.

Me and Topper,
we, we... threw it all away- -

Wait, wait.
You helped who with what?

Topper Harley, the director.
We threw it all away...

- [silencer fires]
- Oh, shit.

Shit. Right. Where's the broad?

Who do you think you are?
That's not your movie.

Well... Who are you
and what would you know?

Without me, Cum- Tiki was
a fucking yawning contest.

OK? It is my movie.

Now everyone knows.

Thanks for that,
whoever you are. Goodbye.

- So...
- What is this fucking parade?

Where is Vincent? And where is
fucking Topper Harley?

I'm Topper Harley.


That wasn't Topper Harley.

If you keep shooting people
like this, we're screwed, boys.

Fuck- ups.

- OK, how long
will you be away?
- One or two days.

Or a week, at the most.

Not more than a few days.
We need you here.

it's an important campaign.
It's fucking Nike!

We need some peace and quiet.

- OK, and where are you going?
- Don't know,
somewhere in Smaåland.

- You don't know where?
- Vincent rented a cabin.

But I don't know where
and for how long.

But you'll be alright
for a few days.

Sure, but a whole week
is too much.

OK, I'll be back in a few days.
Alright, darling. Bye.

- [Vinny] Sausage.
I want some sausage.
- [Karsten] I want a new life.

Stop complaining. What the fuck?

Who could complain if not me?

[Vinny] Some toilet paper.
This could be a lifesaver.

I still want sausage.
I want Bullens hotdogs.

You open the lid and put it
right on top of the fire

and boom! Dinner's served.
To the king of the camping.

Listen, we're not camping.
We're going to Wille's place.

I know where he hid his keys.
So let's hide there a few days.

Bullens hotdogs work everywhere,
even in his apartment.

As long as we're not camping.

[phone rings]

What's up?

Uh- huh?

Yeah? In Sweden?

Cool, thanks.

- What's up?
- I think we found Vinny.


Nice. It's really nice.

- What a dump!
- You're one to talk.

What the hell...

Fuck it. It will do, yeah.

If no one took it, Wille's key
should be right here.

- He told you that?
- Yes.

[Vinny] Why?


It's just weird.
"Welcome to my place..."

Someone's talking to me...
Wow, you're like this close.

Come here.

Stop it!

Tell Zlatan and Taåmmy to come.

- How's it going?
- So- so.

AÅke wants to see us three
in his office.

- Now?
- Now!
You can play more afterwards.

- Now, Zlatan!
- Yeah...

Don't peek at my cards.
No cheating.

He was on his knees and found
the keys to Wille's apartment.

- The Danish guy?
- Yes.

He was with some mustached
horse- dealer type.

- They entered Wille's place?
- Yes.

What does this mean?
Does anyone have an idea?

- Zlatan?
- The Danish guy?

Maybe he's watering
Wille's flowers.

- Wille's flowers?
- Yes, or they'll die.

If you don't give them water,
they will die, right?

I agree with Zlatan.
He's watering the plants.

They were good friends.

I mean, if Zlatan dies, I think
I would do the same thing.

- Water Wille's plants?
- Yes.

No, Zlatan's plants.
If he had any.

I mean, why should they die
just because Zlatan is dead?

But Zlatan isn't dead,
so there's no need.

Goddammit! Are you
completely brainless?

He might be involved
in Wille's murder.

And now he's inside.

Maybe to find
or remove something

that could tie him
to Wille's murder.

Good thinking, Taåmmy.

Where are they?

Before I say anything at all,
I want something from you.

What do you want?

I want Vinny's part
in the business
when you're done with him.

I don't trust you,
you Nazi fuckhead.

But I don't trust you,
you lesbian fuckhead.

- I'm not a lesbian!
- Prove it.

- Fuck me!
- Yeah, that's what I meant.
Come and fuck me.

Shut up!


- What's it going to be?
- OK, you can have Vinny's job.

Alright. But first... [chuckles] must admit
that the Holocaust
did in fact happen.

- What?
- The Holocaust.

Admit that you Nazi scumbags
killed over six million Jews.

- No fucking way.
- Do you want Vinny's job?

- Yes or no?
- Yes.

Then we want to hear you say
what the whole world
already knows.

- Except you Nazi scumbags.
- This is fucking stupid.

- This is fucking ridiculous!
No way!
- Say it.

No... Fuck no, I refuse!

I refuse. No way.

- Say it, motherfucker!
- Say it,
fucking Adolf piece of shit!

- Wait, wait, wait!
- Say it. Say it!

- OK, it fucking happened, OK?
- What happened?

The Holocaust, it happened, OK?
We killed over six million
fucking Jews, alright? Fuck!

Who else did you kill? Did you
kill gay people and gypsies too?

We killed everyone, OK?
We killed everyone.

- Yeah, that's right.
- [Pinxo] Respect.

Fucking gypsies, gays,
wheelchair people,
circus clowns...

We killed everyone, OK?

- Alright! So right, guy.
- OK, that's fucking good.
You're good at it.

- Whoo!
- [sobbing]

So, now... Where are they? Hm?

They're up there.

- Was he into birdwatching?
- No, he was a butcher.


See if you can start
the computer.

- Let's check some dailies.
- Dailies?

Mm. I thought
we could do some work.

I brought a USB drive, so

we can search
for some bonus material.

There are movie buffs
who buy the DVD
just for the bonus material.

- That's fucked up.
- [AÅke] What are they
looking for?

Oh, well...

Who's that?

Sorry, darling...
Am I interrupting something?

- [knocking]
- Pizza delivery!

Where the hell did I put it?


Cut it out,
there's no one there!


Where the fuck are they?

They went out the back.


[phone rings]

- Hi, Jonna.
- Hi, baby!

This isn't a good moment.

Should we go for baubles
in gold or silver this year?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Sh...

- Karsten? Karsten?
- [hangs up]

Then it'll be gold.

[pigs grunting]

[humming "Who's Afraid
of the Big Bad Wolf?"]

♪ Who's afraid
of the big bad wolf? ♪

♪ The big bad wolf
the big bad wolf ♪

Pinxo... Pinxo, please...

Who am I gonna shoot first? Mm?

- The genius? Or the fuck- up?
- No...

Fuck- up? Genius?

Genius? Fuck- up?
Fuck- up? Genius?

Drop your gun.

- Aren't we a team?
- I won't let you do it.

- I thought we were a team.
- Drop the gun!

- You're so predictable.
- Drop the gun.

So shoot. I emptied
the magazine. It's not loaded.

You're fucking with me.

- [gun clicks]
- Oh, shit.

It's almost too easy.

It's like shooting fish
in a barrel.

Wherever I shoot, I hit a pig!


[fires shotgun]

Drop your weapons!

OK. Drop your guns.


Where are the brothers?

Boys, drop your weapons.


This is very...

How the hell do you say

- "Not necessary."
- Yes.

Not necessary.

[muffled shouting]



[two gunshots]


What's happening?

Tell me what happened!
Taåmmy? AÅke?


What happened?
I'll fuck his mom!

Who did that? Where are you?

Let me go! You idiot!

Let me go!

What the hell is going on?
Who are you?

Are you connected to King Kong?

Who the hell is King Kong?

- What should we do with her?
- What's your name?

- Angela.
- Listen now to me.

Little Angela, I want
to expand my business

and I think you can
help me with that.

Would you like to work for me?
Or let us put it this way.

Either you work for me

or I'll let my boys
introduce you to my hungry pigs.

- [Karsten vomits]
- What do you say?

For fuck's sake!
What the hell is wrong with you?

AÅke, I would really
appreciate it...

if you didn't tell Jonna
what I've done.

Mm- hm.
I understand you.


Porn director!

In Karsten's defense,
I should say that
he's an incredible director.

Yeah, but it's still porn,

Well, I guess.

Jonna would be devastated

if she found out
what I've been doing.

And disappointed.
Like so many times before.



This is what we'll do.

I'll take control of
the Belgian business.

And you keep on directing
and producing porn.

But now it's my money
you'll be laundering.

Not Belgian money.

Does that sound fair?

Will you produce mother's milk?

Well, I never say no
to a good business opportunity.

And this is a brilliant deal!


OK. But what about Jonna?

Jonna? She doesn't need to know.

So everything will
just go back to normal?

- Exactly.
- Sure. Why not? Huh?

- I'm done with porn.
- Karsten...

That's not how this works.
If I tell you to do porn,

that's what you'll do.

If not, I might
give Jonna a call...

and tell her what you're up to.

Do we have a deal?

Look at this
as a family business,

where we all work
towards a common goal.

- Mother's milk for all!
- [AÅke chuckles]

Make porn, not war.

What do you say, buddy?

[528] ♪ I wonder how
I wonder why ♪

♪ We're living by
these stale rules at all ♪

The housing market's stagnating.
There are no buyers.

That's when I decide
to quit my job.

I must be out of my head.

It'll be fine.
You're the best real estate
agent in Northern Europe.

- Second best.
- I'm the best- looking.

Get a room, you two.

♪ Why wait
for a happy ending ♪

♪ When all you need
is the Happy Hours? ♪

♪ All we need
is the Happy Hours ♪

♪ Why wait
for a happy ending ♪

♪ When all you need
is the Happy Hours? ♪

♪ All we need
is the Happy Hours ♪

♪ I'm humming on the melody ♪

♪ That's strumming loud
inside of us all ♪

♪ Don't set your limits,
set your goal ♪

♪ And learn to walk
before you can crawl ♪

♪ I'm running out
into the wild ♪

♪ Without a destination
or goal ♪

♪ All I need is clarity ♪

♪ But you don't seem
to get me at all ♪

♪ Why wait
for a happy ending ♪

♪ When all you need
is the Happy Hours? ♪

[computer beeping]


[distorted voice]
Who the fuck are you?

I am AÅke Liljegren.
And who the fuck are you?

Where are the brothers?

Oh, I don't know really
where the brothers are.

I promise to shove your head
up your ass if you don't
let me speak to the brothers.

- I don't like your language
at all.
- Fuck you!

Have a nice day!


I just had a very strange call

from a man who called
himself King Kong.

- He had a very bad attitude,
I think.

Mm- hm.

Do we have to be worried?

Uh... Didn't Vincent
tell you about him?

[AÅke] No.

[Angela] The brothers
used to work for him

and he's a really, really,
really bad man.

What's this?

- [Karsten on video]
- What the fuck?

[528] ♪ Can't deny who we are
in the hearts in the mind ♪

♪ Just like the weight
of the world on our shoulder ♪

♪ Like a Colorado boulder ♪

♪ And we keep on
getting older, hah ♪

♪ Then the sun comes down
shine down on our dreams ♪

♪ We got a family team
a well- fed machine ♪

♪ I leave thumpin' my heart ♪

♪ 'Cause we are who we are ♪

♪ We are who we are
we are who we are ♪

♪ Oh- oh ♪

♪ We are who we are
we are who we are ♪

♪ Oh- oh ♪

♪ We've all got two sides ♪

♪ Crazy like Jekyll and Hyde ♪

♪ Baby, this ain't
a one- man show ♪