Valeria (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - La regadera - full transcript

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Ah...

BASED ON THE NOVELS
BY ELÍSABET BENAVENT

THE CONTRAST OF OUR HOT BODIES
AGAINST THE WALL TURNED ME ON.

HE STARTED BY PUTTING HIS HAND
UNDER MY T-SHIRT.

I WANTED HIM TO FEEL MY NIPPLES
AND HAVE THE URGE TO LICK THEM SLOWLY.

YOU AREN'T EVEN GOING TO STOP
TO WALK AROUND THE STREET FESTIVAL?

IT'S YOUR FAULT
FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO WRITE

HAHA! AND NOW YOU'RE
PUNISHING ME FOR IT

BACK TO THE KEYBOARD, SORRY.

OK. JUST WANTED TO
LET YOU KNOW I'M BACK



THE BREAK REALLY DID ME GOOD...

BUT IT'D BE EVEN BETTER IF I SAW YOU

TALK SOON

HE TURNED ME AROUND
IN ONE SWIFT MOVEMENT.

♪ Ahora este macizo ♪

♪ Luego esta ladera ♪

♪ Y un par de chorritos ♪

♪ En la enredadera ♪

♪ Pero me fastidia tener que regar ♪

I'm coming in, Val.

Okay!

It's just the first part.
Well, a first draft of the first part.

I was thinking of changing
the point of view.

Maybe with a different narrator.



- We could find...
- I love it.

Really? Me too!

This is what I meant last time.

There's truth here.
A real person, not just a character.

She's so scared...

6. THE WATERING CAN

...of her affair that she plans it
as if it were a murder.

It's fantastic!

She doesn't know what to do
and probably won't end up doing it...

- She won't?
- Well, she wants to. She really wants to.

But she doesn't know
if she could handle the guilt after.

- She's very scared.
- Fine, but ditch the fear and guilt.

We want a dynamic character.
We want things to happen to her.

But this is a huge deal for her, Chus.

- It's not an easy decision.
- But if you focus on that,

the protagonist loses spontaneity
and ends up being boring.

Boring for whom?

I think you shouldn't spend
more than 70 pages on that.

Then, focus on
the forbidden sexual relationship.

Don't forget it's an erotic novel,
and that's how we're selling it.

I didn't have much hope for you, Valeria.

So, I'm glad you kept at it...
Where did you get the idea?

I think it had been there a while,
but I was scared to let it out.

Sure.

Autobiographies aren't easy.

When do you think you can
have it finished by?

My novel's coming out this Christmas!

Whoa!

- Oh, my God!
- I'm getting published!

- She loved it! Finally!
- Sure.

- I loved it too! It's so...
- Can you keep it down a bit?

Okay, Mom.

- I'll call him later to sort it out.
- That's great!

I thought I was gonna be stuck
in the museum forever!

I mean, I won't quit just because
I'm getting published.

I'm even starting to get
quite fond of that rock.

Oh, my God! Of course!

Antonio was my good luck charm!

- Oh! Look, there she is!
- Oh!

- Come in!
- Hey, can I call you back?

- Whoa!
- Hey, hey, hey!

- Yes, of course. Ciao.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I heard you from outside!

Hey, what's going on?
You'll scare my customers away!

Cris, keep Valeria's mug when we leave.

It will be worth
three grand online one day.

Her novel's getting published!

Wasn't it already getting published?

Yes... but now they're publishing it
a bit earlier.

Aah! But... So it's still an erotic novel?

Well, now it's more of a thriller.

So, you went back to the original idea,
and it's no longer erotic?

That too, but it's also a thriller.

It's an erotic thriller.

- Awesome! I love it!
- Cris.

Three grand for her mug
and one grand for her spoon!

Oh, my God, I can't wait to read it.

See you soon.

She doesn't know
your other novel got rejected, does she?

Cris is my number one fan.
If I lose her, I lose everything.

But lying just to keep the president
of your fan club? I don't know...

How much longer are you gonna be sulking?
Val's getting published!

I know, and I'm really happy for you,
but you all know I'm done keeping quiet.

If something bothers me, I'll tell you.

Well, how about telling your parents?

Lola, don't start.

Chus says that... that my main character
has to be more spontaneous.

So she hooks up with Víctor
in the first ten pages?

Fine, it's based on me,
but it's still fiction!

- It won't necessarily happen!
- So what will happen?

Well, I don't know...

I can't get Víctor out of my head.

And with all the writing,

I can't stop thinking
about me, and Adri, and...

we're not happy.

- Are you splitting up?
- No!

Besides, my thing with Víctor
only works because I'm married.

Sure, it's like my pond.
No one wants a commitment, so it works.

I'm not getting separated
just so I can get laid!

I'll only get divorced
if it's not working.

Oh, God! My head's gonna explode!

I think you've pretty much
made up your mind.

You're just scared.

You know that, if you do it,
there's no going back,

but deep down... it's what you want.

Right?

The Matryoshka method is very useful
when packing.

For example, if you have
sneakers like this,

you can stuff them with other items.

If we fold our socks well...

we can fit two pairs inside each shoe.

Ideal for a weekend.

- Also...
- He was amazing in bed!

- Put a Croatian in your life!
- Ay!

- Hi!
- No, I'm not streaming live.

Thank God for that!

Hey, great news about Chus.

Yeah! I thought we'd messed up
your video, sorry.

No, no, no. I'll post it tonight.

In prime time, very nice!

- You and Val are on a roll!
- Hm.

Adopt me, please!

Are you going
on vacation at all this year?

I think last weekend in Valencia
is about all I'm getting.

- Mm.
- Man, I really wanted to go!

Víctor said the weather was amazing!

Uh... was...
Víctor there this weekend too?

Yeah... We hooked up at my party...

and said, "Paella in Valencia!"

It was crazy! Really crazy.

- What?
- Didn't you know?

Uh... no... I mean yes!
Of course I did! Of course I did.

But... but I thought
you weren't telling people.

It's only Adri!
It doesn't matter. It's okay.

Anyway, we bought the train tickets,

and we were all set to eat paella,
when the whole gluten thing went down.

So I said, "Dude, you go. You go.
You have friends down there."

And... and that was that.

Uh... I thought you were an item,
but Val said you were just friends.

Well, we hooked up the first night we met.

Two years ago.

Then... then again the other night.

But I'm not into Víctor,

and Víctor's not into me...
so it was nothing.

Shall we go to my room?

Then you can finish your video in peace.
Shall we?

Yes. Mm.

If we fold the socks neatly...

- What?
- Sh!

What was that?
Hooking up with Víctor?

I had to say something
to avoid fucking it all up. Right?

Shit! Saying you hooked up the night
you met was a bit much! Wasn't it?

- No, that was true.
- What?

It was only a blow job!
I barely remember it. We were wasted.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because it was only a blow job!

Okay, I don't care about the blow job.
The probability was pretty high.

Telling Adri about Valencia
was much worse!

You did it on purpose, right?
Yes! Of course!

You did it to force me to talk to Adri
and make a decision already!

- What?
- Yes, and I'm sick of your attitude!

- Of what?
- Well, you're a bigmouth!

You're always putting your foot in it!

With Nerea and Carmen, too.

- I'm a bigmouth?
- Yes!

What about you?

All you do is complain, as if the rest
of us don't have any problems.

- Do you all talk about it?
- About what?

How you're fed up with me.

Do you all talk about
what a pain in the ass I am?

No. Every time it comes up,
you send us a fucking voice message!

- See? You're so rude!
- I'm outta here!

No, wait! Adri's still filming.

We can't go out there.

All those in favor of Miriam.

Those in favor of Nerea.

Well, there you have it.

Nerea will replace Olga on the sexism
and homophobia campaigns.

Wow, thank you!

You'll do great. You'll see.

I'm going to be busy at my new job,
but I'm here for whatever you need, okay?

Thanks, but I thought
Gloria could help me out.

She's new, so working together
will help her get the hang of things.

- Right?
- Okay! I'd be happy to help you.

Right, but I'm the one who knows most
about the subject.

Girls, why don't we stop for a coffee,
so you can discuss it? Okay?

- Sure.
- Perfect.

So you're ignoring me entirely?

I called you this weekend
and you never answered.

- I was busy.
- All weekend?

Look, it was just...
a summer fling, that's all.

It's still August!

I mean... ever since I told you
about the pond,

you're so full of yourself!

Fuck! Who else have you hooked up with
around here?

Actually, who haven't you hooked up with?

So, you're pissed off
I found my pond here?

Yeah... kind of.

It worked out well for you, though.
It's an easy way to get votes, right?

Any news on the make-up?

- Did you have the meeting?
- Yes.

They liked it. Without the photos
or the slogan and with a bigger logo.

Okay, last up, we're going for
the campaign for a new car.

It's electric, environmentally friendly...

Carmen and Borja...
I want to try you two as a team.

Is there a problem?

Um...

- No.
- No, not at all.

Get to work, then.

Hey, I thought we came home to work.

- And we will.
- Really?

- Did you see the brief?
- Mm.

- It's a poisoned chalice!
- Why?

They want to sell a car
without mentioning cars.

It's all green and eco-friendly!

- Come on! They should be growing tomatoes!
- Exactly!

The car for those who hate cars.

Hang on... That's really good!

"The car for those
who hate cars." It works!

- You think?
- Yes!

No, you can't use
the word "hate" in a slogan.

No...

And what about something lighter?

Like... "Cars are no longer cars."

- You really think this is the best time?
- Mmm...

- It isn't, right?
- No.

- Hm.
- Okay.

What if we made it like a teaser?

We could start with a photo of a wheel,

with the slogan
"Wheels are no longer wheels."

Then a photo of... of an engine,
a rear-view mirror,

and finally... the photo of the car.

"Cars are no longer cars."

Shit, that's actually really good!

You like it?

- It's great.
- Really?

And you're great too.

Take this off!

Don't worry about it.

We were probably both just...

tired.

It was only a blow job!
I barely remember it.

We were wasted.

♪ You were running blind ♪

♪ Following your feet to try ♪

♪ And outrun your fate ♪

♪ Standing in a field of flowers ♪

♪ Cerebral voices the loudest ♪

♪ All hollering your name ♪

♪ Is it paradise? ♪

♪ Only if it blows your mind ♪

♪ And then blows away ♪

♪ Sometimes you wheel ♪

♪ Sometimes you deal ♪

♪ Sometimes you have to rob and steal ♪

♪ Call you a sinnerman ♪

♪ Or call it second sight ♪

Need any help?

Yes. I just need to chop this.

This knife's better, Val.

Okay.

No, but... but chop it finer.

Sorry.

Here, let me do it.

Chus said she'd give me until
the end of summer to finish the novel.

Oh. Can you do it?

I just have to get cracking.

Want me to read you a bit?

Sure, if you want.

Never mind.

Are you seeing Víctor?

Every time his name comes up,
you... get all weird.

Sorry, maybe I'm just being paranoid.

No, don't apologize.

He hit on me at the party,
but then he hooked up with Lola.

Ah.

Right.

Hm.

Guilt is like a Google alert,

except instead of reminding you
it's your best friend's birthday tomorrow,

it reminds you,
with a constant beeping in your brain,

that in a few hours, you're going to make
the worst mistake of your life...

or the best decision.

Don't be too harsh, okay?

I'M SORRY!

IS IT AWFUL?

IT'S GREAT!

SORRY ABOUT THE CONSTANT BEEPING
IN YOUR BRAIN.

I HAVE IT TOO...

LOLA TOLD ME YOU TWO HOOKED UP.

It's fine, okay? I'm not jealous.

You always do that.

What?

Change the subject
if you don't wanna talk about something.

Uh... you've lost me.

In your novel,
you say guilt is killing you.

- Not me, my character.
- Sure...

You brought up Lola to change the subject.

You won't admit that
what's happening with us scares you.

Anyway... forget it.

We'll talk about it some other day, okay?

- Okay.
- Sleep well.

GROUP - FRIENDS 4EVER - CARMEN

LATER

NOW

TOO LATE?

I like that one.

And that one?

Nah!

- It's rigged!
- You're awful!

Let's go!

- Which one should I shoot now?
- The one at the bottom.

What are you doing?

It's Borja...

He's freaking out!

He's pretending he's not,
but he definitely is.

Was it because my idea was better?

I don't know, but suddenly
everything... everything just went...

...limp.

Come on. What do you want?

The cube?
No, the psychedelic glasses are better.

What if he can't get it up with me again?

Fuck me, Carmen. You say I'm rude,
but you practically give me no choice.

Who says you're rude?

You don't think I'm rude?

No, I don't know.
Where did that come from?

- It's nothing.
- No, it's not nothing. What?

I told Val I hooked up with Víctor once,
and she completely lost it.

Eh... Seriously?

Yes, she said awful things!

No, no, no.
You seriously hooked up with Víctor?

It was just a blow job.

What?

♪ Creábamos pegados ♪

♪ Océanos ardientes ♪

♪ Pensamientos ahogados ♪

♪ De la mente ♪

♪ Bebiendo de tu sed ♪

♪ Mordiéndote la piel ♪

♪ Sueño que esta herida ♪

♪ Ni se abra ni se cierre ♪

♪ Siento que todo cambió ♪

♪ Pero sigo estando solo conmi... ♪

Don't... don't worry about it...

Really.

We're both...

tired.

- I have to call Borja.
- Dude, don't be a bummer.

If he's freaking out,
we should talk about it, right?

About what? He can't get it up.
You chose badly. Ciao!

You know what? You are pretty rude!

Dude, I'm sorry. I'll buy you a drink.

No, I don't feel like it.

I'm going home... Ciao.

Your prize, young lady.

We were a bit lost with the briefing.

They want to sell a car,
but reject everything cars stand for.

It had to be green and eco.

Come on! They should be growing tomatoes!

But then we thought,

"Wait! There's something here."

Yes! These days, everything's changing.

Phones are computers,
vacuum cleaners are robots...

We don't even flirt anymore...
Psst. We swipe right.

Why not do the same with a car?

Just like Magritte's "This is Not a Pipe,"

we'd do the campaign in phases,
starting with this punch...

"Wheels are no longer wheels."

Then we'd launch others like,
"Engines are no longer engines."

Until finally, the end-of-campaign teaser:

"Cars are no longer cars."

Well done, you two! Excellent job!

I knew you'd work well as a team.

Well, it was Carmen's idea.

The light bulb went off in her head.

Yes, but it all started
with Borja's idea to...

Actually it's much more interesting.
Let's present that too.

"Cars for people who hate cars."

They won't buy a slogan with "hate" in it.

No, definitely not. It's aggressive.

We'll stick with your idea, Carmen.
And tone it down, Borja. Come on.

We don't need all that testosterone here.
This isn't a used car lot.

Review this.

Very cool!

I think it will work.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's not aggressive.
It's much better than...

I told you. Why'd you even mention it?

Well, because...

It was going great. They were loving it.
There was no need.

I just wanted them to know
you had good ideas too.

They know I do!
That's what they pay me for.

Look, you having good ideas doesn't
make me worse. On the contrary!

I get why you're freaked out, Borja.

I'm not freaked out.

I mean...

the other night at my place.

But it's okay! Really!

You think I couldn't get it up
because you had a good idea?

- I was tired!
- No need to justify yourself!

- Stop it!
- What?

- Trying to make me feel better.
- I'm not!

I really do think you're amazing!

As long as I can keep it up.

That's not true.

Forget about it.

Let's get to it.
The art department's waiting.

Okay...

Um... I'll just...

#LEZMEIN
#LOVEWOMEN

The idea of using "me" in all caps
in the hashtags #lezMEin and #lovewoMEn

worked like an absolute charm!

We've been tagged 1834 times.

Mostly in posts about
bullying and homophobia.

That's good, but don't forget our aim.

Reeducating teenagers.
That takes time.

Rocío, don't be such a hater!
We have to start somewhere.

The main thing is that
our message reached a lot of teenagers,

which was one of our goals, wasn't it?

Patricia, could you read the message
from the girl who was bullied?

"The only one who can shout out,

without being scared or hurting anyone,

that I'm a 'lezMEin' is me...
a thousand times me!"

That's great!

I'm so glad it worked!

I think you should keep using those
on our social media account,

but I think we should try
some more generic ones

that everyone can relate to.

Yeah, I had an idea for one

that makes it clear we should feel
free in every decision we make.

#THINKWISERWITHYOURVAGINA

Or "your dick-gina"!

To include the trans community.

- Sure!
- Yeah?

So, you're happy with them?

Yes. Let's use both of them.

Okay, so that's all for now.
See you all next time.

Great.

Yes!

And she's super nice. I like her a lot.

Congratulations, babe! You were great!

You just got here. I saw you.

But I got here for the best bit.
"Think wiser with your vagina."

Can I put that on a T-shirt?

So...

Is this your pond?

Not all of them.
There are some straight girls here too.

Shall I introduce you to them?

No, don't worry. It's late.

Wanna grab a drink?

- Are you meeting the girls?
- No.

I meant you and me.

- Just us?
- Yes! What's wrong with that?

Without Val? What happened?

- She's not speaking to me, okay?
- What did you do?

Why do you think it was my fault?

- You think I'm rude too?
- Well, you love dishing it out!

Well, you're coming in
a close second lately.

Well... what did you say to her?

Just that I hooked up with Víctor
once, ages ago.

- What?
- It was just a blow job!

♪ Queen bee, I don't want to say ♪

♪ If you dare to be my enemy ♪

♪ Baby, I won't buy your sin ♪

♪ Fake friends bring no good ♪

♪ Especially if you believe they could ♪

♪ But I won't scream out loud ♪

♪ Shit, your names
Are nothing but old hours ♪

♪ 'Cause it gets rough, survivor ♪

♪ And it gets tough, oh ♪

No, I can't. I have to help my parents
with some work stuff.

- What?
- Nothing.

You say you want to be upfront,
but you never stand up to them.

Give me time! You're always
in such a rush to do everything.

So... one quick drink?

No, I can't.
Talk to Val and sort it out. Hm?

- Hello.
- Hey!

- Going out tonight?
- Yeah, wanna join us?

Oh, no, thanks, I'm knackered.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Do you want some?
- It's tasty.

No, I can't, but thank you.

You are going to La Paloma?

- Yeah, it's cool.
- It is.

- Why don't you join us?
- Me?

Mm. Come on!

We'll have fun.

Yeah... why not?

- Val, can I come in?
- Yes.

- You look great!
- Thanks.

So are all the museum staff going?

No... just the security guards.

They do it every year, apparently.

- Is it going to be a late one?
- No...

Uh... I mean, I don't know.

Who are you going out with?

With... with Julio and Jorge.

Ah. Sounds like fun!

Say hi to them for me, hm?

I like it better in a bun.

Adrián, what are you doing here?

Leave Valeria alone.

What?

This may be a game to you,
but it's ruining my life... you know?

What do you want from her?

I'm not answering that
because nothing happened.

Okay...
Just to make sure, get out of the way.

Look... relationship problems
never start with a third person.

It's the other way round.

Yes. That's true.

This has nothing to do with you.

You just appeared during our rough patch.

It could've been anyone else.

Huh.

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

Say, "cocido español."

Cocido español.

- No beer for me.
- ♪ Love this place ♪

Sorry, do you have any...
sangría or something?

♪ That's no illusion ♪

♪ It's time for fun
Love's so new and young ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ The time has come for new movements ♪

♪ And we'll be singing this song
When you're out, everything will be... ♪

I want to fuck you.

Well?

Now you don't want to? Or...

No! You know I want to.

Great, so...

It's decided!

You want to... I want to...

There's nothing else to say.

How about a drink first?

- Okay, sure.
- Mm.

♪ Madrid, Madrid ♪

♪ Madrid, Madrid ♪

- Sh! Sh!
- ♪ Madrid ♪

Oh! Our wine!

Whoo!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Tortilla!

Sh!

- Shots, shots!
- Chin-chin!

- No, no party. It's a bit late.
- Chin-chin!

- The last one!
- No "last one."

- A la puta cama. Bed, please.
- Come on!

CARMEN - HOPE YOU
AND VAL SORTED THINGS OUT

NEREA - DID YOU SPEAK TO VAL?

♪ There's a vulture perching
Right offscreen ♪

♪ And it's bitter
And whispers chaotic things ♪

- I never said that!
- Yes, you did!

Mm...

Another one?

- Why not?
- Okay. Excuse me?

Two more gin and tonics, please... Thanks.

Another one over here!

He likes you.

Who?

That tall guy over there.

- No way!
- I'm telling you!

It's your fault.

- Mine? Why?
- Your messages.

I must be giving off extra pheromones
or something,

because, lately,
guys look at me more often.

I'm not surprised.

You look great. I like your hair down.

- Really?
- That must have something to do with it.

I don't know!

How's the novel going?

Good... I'm just getting to
the interesting part.

I think I can imagine which part that is.

What's going through
your character's head right now?

She knows that if she sleeps with him,
there's no going back.

But deep down,
she knows that's what she wants.

I suddenly regret ordering this drink!

- Shall we get plastic cups to go?
- Wait! Let's just drink them here.

Okay, then.

- I'm just gonna run to the bathroom.
- Okay.

♪ I know you've seen this before ♪

♪ And now enough is too much ♪

♪ You don't want to be set back
When the substitution comes ♪

- I'll give you a clue.
- Go on then.

Every time I take a trip, I get a tattoo.

Seriously? That's crazy!

That I travel so much?

No, that you have so many.

How many tattoos do you think he has?

Guess right and the next round's on me!

Hell, yeah! Go on, guess a number.

- Mmm... 18.
- Almost.

- Your turn.
- Let's see...

- Should we go?
- One sec, I got this.

Um... eight...

See?

It's always the same with you.

What?

Finding excuses to put things off.

He came over while you were
in the bathroom. What's wrong? He's nice.

I'm not saying he isn't.
You can do whatever you like.

Then what?

Víctor... coming here
was really hard for me.

- Maybe that's it.
- What?

You thought about it too much,
and it was so hard that now...

What? Tell me.

This should be something spontaneous,

something fun...

and it's not.

Adrián came to see me today.

What?

And... what did he tell you?

To leave you alone.

That I just happened to be there
during your rough patch.

That it could've been me,
or any other guy.

It's not that I'm jealous
or anything like that...

It's something else.

It's...

I'm sick of waiting for something
that won't ever happen.

Maybe you don't want it to happen.

- What?
- Maybe you're picking

this stupid fight
so nothing will happen tonight.

Seriously?

You say I'm the scared one,
but you're as scared as I am.

That's ridiculous.

Let's just forget about it.

- Fine.
- Fine.

- Shall we get a taxi?
- Not for me. I'm finishing this.

Great!

Great.

Fantastic.

Ciao!

Ciao.

So?

How many tattoos?

- Thirty-three?
- Yes!

Here.

♪ Tengo un jardín en mi casa ♪

♪ Que es la mar de rebonito ♪

♪ No tengo quien me lo riegue ♪

♪ Y lo tengo muy sequito ♪

♪ Ay ♪

♪ Como no soy jardinera ♪

♪ Ni me gusta trabajar ♪

♪ Por la noche, aunque no quiera ♪

♪ Me lo tengo que regar ♪

♪ Al acostarme y al levantarme ♪

♪ Lleno de agua la regadera ♪

♪ Y con las faldas muy recogidas ♪

♪ Yo voy regando de esta manera ♪

♪ Ahora este macizo ♪

♪ Luego esta ladera ♪

♪ Y un par de chorritos ♪

♪ En la enredadera ♪

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