Vagrant Queen (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - No Clue - full transcript

This can't be right. Elida
said Earth puppies were cute-‐

Oh, no.

The day before the big event

and Arriopa is already buzzing.

Early visitors
are camping outside the grounds

hoping to secure prime spots

for the event
everyone is talking about.

Pssh.
Everyone.

We're only talking about it

because we're planning
to take down the host.

Oh, another
great map, by the way.



Thank you.
It's missing a few details,

but it's all
I can remember about the palace.

With Lazaro's promise
of sharing Arriopan wealth,

planet leaders have been eager

to take the trek
to this once royal planet.

But for general admittance,
however, tickets are...

- We should just turn it off.
...- sold out.

That's right, tickets to
the palace grounds are sold...

Is there another headliner?

Tickets are
the least of our worries.

Yeah, we'll just mug someone.

Wow.

Been spending
too much time with you guys.

Ooh, nice!



The Vraut we got
for that scav job on Kyn Zeta.

You take payments in booze?

Only when it's the good stuff.

Wait. We have some
seriously heavy planning to do.

Yeah, exactly.
This is our

last night
before we attempt the insane.

I say we make
the most of this night.

To murdering Lazaro.

Okay, but...
we plan while we drink.

Yeah.

Yes!
Yes, I love that!

Or how about... this room?

With a machete?

- Whoa!
- Decapitation.

- Ohh!
- Nice.

A mounted Lazaro head.

It would work
so well for our Feng Shui.

- Yeah.
- I couldn't think

of a better team
to plan a murder with.

Aw.

This can't be our last meal.

♪ I said, shake,
rattle and roll ♪

♪ I said, shake,
rattle and roll ♪

And there.
WE are going all out.

Did you just order Kracho curry?

- Yeah.
- Dude... that's my favourite!

Aw, you know it.

Oh...
I love you guys.

And my Winni!

- Team Winni!
- Team Winni!

I...I, uh, wanted to talk
to you guys about something.

Uh...

- Winni?
- There seems to be

a system power freeze
activated remotely.

I cannot override it.

Power... freeze?

That can't be.

We have a doorbell?

Just something
I've been playing with.

More importantly...

...who is it?

- Drop it.
- Our ship, our rules.

Who the hell are you?

- You invited us, dear.
- Come again?

When you didn't pay your fines.

We're with the
Intergalactic Parking Authority

and have your ship in lockdown.

This is
a Forced Retrieval program

to collect your
exorbitant outstanding debt.

Oh, crackers.

♪ Hey ♪

Playing a game, were we?

- A party, more like.
- Let's make this quick,

got two more impounds
before the shift is over.

Am I right in thinking
one of you owns this ship?

- No.
- No, you don't own this ship?

- Yes.
- So you do own the ship?

- No.
- Yes.

There's still confusion
as to who owns this ship?

- She does.
- You do?

- I told you I don't.
- Give us a clear answer!

- What was the question?
- Who owns the bloody ship?!

I do!
And there's no need to shout.

- I'm not shouting!
- We're impounding your ship

so you'll all be heading
down to our headquarters...

Mm, we're not going anywhere.

Oops.

'Scuse me.

- What's wrong with this guy?
- Lloyd has the flu.

And you brought him
onto our ship?

It's okay.
I... I'll be better soon.

Everybody off. Now.

Whoa, you put 'em down, punks.

Oh, please, dear.
If I had a unit for every time

a ticket evader
pulled a gun on me...

Wait!
We took your guns.

Where did you get those ones?

No shortage here.

Look, what if
we just paid up now in full?

Certainly.

- Here's the amount.
- Okay.

Oh... my...

I'll go get the unit reader.

Uh...

Guys, perhaps you could
get our guests some snacks.

No time for that.
Let's just...

Uh-uh.
I could use a snack, actually.

Me too.
I am famished.

We've been working
split shifts the whole week.

That's true.
Okay, fine.

But leave your guns.

Fine.
Snacks, coming up.

So, uh, what do you reckon?

Too late for a Stun 'n Run?

Yeah, probably
a straight Kill 'n Run now.

But give Amae a chance.

If anybody can fix it, she can.

That's true.
But there's no way she'd be okay

with a bunch
of murders on our Winni.

Mm, too much to clean.
No, but seriously.

Have you ever
seen the ship look this good?

Things are...

definitely better
with her around.

You gonna keep ignoring it?

- Ignore what?
- Come on.

You.
And Amae.

Mm-mm, it's not like that.

It's not.

Look,
Amae gets on with everyone.

We're just friends.

I don't know
if she sees it like that.

I...I like...

how things are right now.

And...

I can't lose this again.

Mm, pass me a bowl.

Human in space,
zero hand-eye coordination

- with a little bit of booze.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, El.

For everything.

Yeah, me too.

That, um...

stuff I said back
on Wix about your family.

I didn't mean it.

Cool?

That looks like monkey brains.

Why is he at work?

Oh, the company
doesn't pay for sick days, so...

I must warn you all that with

the increased
oxygen production demands,

the power reserves
are being affected.

We're wasting time.
Eat up, then we're leaving.

I've told Kahn
to prepare for the departure.

Is this soup all you have?

Dude! If you don't
get the hell off my ship,

I'm gonna
eject you from the airlock.

Poor baby. He caught
it on holiday in Kafkaria,

didn't ya, honey?
Oh, my gosh.

Well, I tell you what.
That's off my bucket list.

I've seen so many places,

you can ask me
about any of them.

I'm like an open book.

I'll unpack
pretty much anything...

Ugh, are you afraid of silence?

So...

where were you all headin'?

- Nowhere.
- Well,

since we're
controlling your ship,

let's have a look.

Looks like you're charging
for a hop to Arriopa.

You're going to the party?
Me too.

They... they sold out,
don't you know?

But I... I know people.

I've even got me a spare ticket.

Thanks, but, uh, I'm married.

- Oh...
- No.

- Not them.
- Oh.

No, she's in a different galaxy.
It's a long story.

This one is just unfair.

Parking on an octuple line
in a septuple crossing?

Sounds pretty simple to me.

Seven lines here.
Eight lines here.

Park here, don't park here!

You know,
I was annoyed with them.

Sure, they make dumb decisions,

like accepting
payments in booze...

Which you cannot pay
your parking tickets with!

But now I understand.

The Parking Authority
are just a bunch

of criminals in matching suits!

Okay, break time's over.
Let's go.

Whoever that is, that is my leg.

It's the power reserves. Winni!

Boosting power now.

- Who shot him?
- Someone took my gun.

- Oh, likely story.
- It was you. Or one of you.

- Excuse me, why us?
- 'Cause you have motive.

- What motive?
- You owe us money you can't pay.

Still, it isn't us.

Absolutely no way
I'd make this mess on my ship.

Do you have any idea
how difficult it will be

to get that stain
out of the carpet?

And you all have guns,
so we don't need Columbo

to narrow it down for us.

You've already showed us that

you have guns
planted everywhere!

Pfft. Whatever...

And our guns can't do THAT.

Really?
What are you packing?

'Cause our
smallest fusion snipers can do

- double that damage.
- Not helping our case.

I said double. Obviously
it's not one of our guns.

You are criminals
evading the law!

Calm down.
It's evading parking tickets.

Big a-difference.

It's a gateway crime to murder!

If I was a murderer,
you'd all be dead.

Just maybe stop talking.

I said if.

Someone's gun went off
and it wasn't mine.

The shot hit here.

Whoever did that can repair it!

So, if the shot that
went off hit the wall, then...

...then who killed Lloyd?

And how?

Or to find the killer,

the question we must ask is...

who. Has. Motive?

- You do.
- Not me.

You!

What are you doing, Eileen?

I heard you arguing
with Lloyd the other day.

You threatened
to kill him in public.

Well, why would you threaten
to kill him in public?

I think she meant he threatened
in public to kill him.

He was eating my lunch

out of the fridge
every day for a year.

I finally caught him in the act.
Hardly motive.

Depends, what was the lunch?

Oh, you wanna go, Eileen?
What about you?

You and Lloyd
were up for the same promotion.

He got it.
YOU hated him for it.

- Interesting.
- No, it's not.

- It's a vicious lie!
- Lesley?

You've been awfully quiet
about this whole ordeal.

I didn't really know him, so...

You shared an office.

Yeah, well...

Maybe he was poisoned!

Can everyone stop
messing up our ship?!

It is whiskey, not poison.

And what poison can do that?

Look, it sounds like a lot of

group therapy
sessions for you all.

Time to pack up
and get the hell off our ship.

Winnibee, what's going on?
Who else is in here?

- Just me.
- So who just screamed?

Why am I screaming
through your speakers?

It is the recording
Isaac asked me to capture.

It's always smart to record your
conversations with authorities.

I am a lawyer.

I was saving the
file when the error occurred.

I cannot charge.
My systems are failing.

Sorry, Winni.

Did you see
anything during the blackout?

Negative.
I am running in low power mode.

I'm afraid I do not know
which one of you is the killer.

Who else is on the ship?

Just Kahn.

Kahn!

I didn't do it.

- This is a ship of death!
- A bit dramatic.

- We should call the Admiralty.
- No!

They do not play fair.

I had a run-in
with them not long ago.

- Let me guess, for murder?
- Why don't you wanna call them?

I really just think we're making
great progress on our own.

No, we're not.
We have no idea

who is killing off our agents.

Clearly one of you,
because trust me, I know how

to kill, and I would've
taken you all out at once.

- Still not helping.
- Point is,

it wouldn't have
been drawn out like this,

because THIS is a waste of time.

It seems to me like you guys got

far bigger problems on your
hands than our parking tickets.

We'll help you load
these bodies onto your ship

and you can all head back to...

Our ship is gone!

Well, shit.

What is it?
What's the holdup?

Your buddy's gone.

What?

How does
a headless body disappear?

- What did you do with him?
- What, when we were all

downstairs
dragging this one up here?

- Maybe your robot did it.
- Hey! Leave Winni out of this!

Maybe he wasn't dead.

He looked
a few levels past dead to me.

- I need a drink.
- Maybe now's not

the best time to be drinking.

I just lost two friends.

You said you didn't know Lloyd?

I didn't say
that they were good friends.

There's more
in the supply closet,

why dont you grab me some?

We really
don't have time for this.

I'm sorry.
Are the deaths of our agents

putting your
party plans on hold?

- Yeah.
- You're putting on hold

something a lot
bigger than a party.

A fate-of-the-galaxy
type of deal.

We really weren't expecting
another sidebar adventure.

Come on!

He's dead. Again.

- Who would kill him twice?
- That is definitely overkill.

We are taking this ship back
to our headquarters right now!

The ship's
power reserves are now

- at a dangerous level.
- We're going to die!

Please,
I'm desperate to get off!

Now is not the time
to be gettin' off.

How can you make jokes
at a time like this?

Yeah, it's a coping mechanism.

Kahn has
the controller for the ship.

I don't want to...

It's not here.

Maybe
it's something I can override?

What system protocols
are you guys using?

The controller
and the receiver are hard-coded

with a unique encryption key.

So unless you have
an identical controller,

which you don't,
because it doesn't exist,

then we're out of luck.

We have a tracker
on the controller.

- It's on this ship!
- Great! Where?

Wow, that's
not really accurate, is it?

You should update
your galaxy position system.

- Hell no!
- Maybe they'll just go away?

Hey, Gluuber Eats.

- Someone ordered a curry?
- Yep, thanks.

I...I really need to use
your washroom, man, please.

I threw in an extra
frankenfurter for you.

One moment.

Of course.
Right this way.

- Okay, where is it?
- What, the body?

- The washroom? What body?
- No body.

There is no body
in the washroom.

You're free to use it.

He will
call the Admiralty on us.

And we will
all be thrown in jail!

Please! Don't you think
we should get that man

off of this ship before
he finds out what's going on?!

There are two
dead bodies in the main room!

Shhh!

I had to stop him
from screaming.

We need to find
this damn device.

We should split up,
search the ship in twos.

That's a terrible idea.

What if one of us
is left with the murderer?

Well, at least then
we'll know who the murderer is.

We'll all be dead
once the reserves are gone,

- so you got a better idea?
- Who goes with who?

Ho...

We'll draw for partners.

The shortest two together,

and then the next two,
and so on.

- Agreed?
- Mm-hmm.

Wait. Three of us have
the same size frankenfurter.

No, yours matches this one.

You can search
the cockpit with Winnibot.

Oh...

it's you and me, honey-bunch.

Two teams down here,
two teams upstairs.

Wait. This device,
what's it look like?

About this big,
black, big red button.

Okay.

You cheated, didn't you?

I mean...
I wasn't gonna get stuck

with one
of those deranged lunatics.

And besides, Isaac is completely
useless at finding things.

Earlier on,
before the agents showed up,

you wanted to talk to me
and Isaac about something.

Oh, yeah.
It was nothing.

Can you believe
this is happening?

I mean, comparative
to what's happened the last

few weeks, I feel like
this is the next logical step.

I wouldn't change any of it.

Crackers, that came out wrong!
I would change Lazaro

getting away with the Sterzaad,
and your mom not being on Wix,

- and half dying, and...
- It's okay.

I know what you mean.

You do?

Totally!

It's great having
a full-time mechanic on board,

and now I don't
just have Isaac for company.

...Right.

Terrible timing,
this whole ordeal.

I'm quitting, you know.

Next month,
when bonuses come out.

Going back
to being a singing telegram.

Less stressful.

I'm not paid enough to die.

None of us are.

You know, this...
This ship is the worst,

junkiest
piece of shit I have ever...

You wanna go in front of me?

Absolutely not.

You seem stressed.

Perhaps I can play
some music to calm you.

♪ Hey nonny ding dong... ♪
[loud thunder rumbling]

♪ Boom ba-doh,
ba-doo, ba-doodle-ay ♪

♪ Oh, life
could be a dream ♪

♪ If I could take you up
in paradise up above ♪

Should we go together?

Okay.

Aw, shit, man.

Come on...

Well,
there goes my five-star ratin'.

So, what's the deal?

Travellin' alone with two women,

neither of which is your wife?

- That's a long story.
- Oh... We've got time, sugar.

My wife is on a distant planet.

I have been trying
to get back to her.

- Well, was trying.
- Oh.

Not anymore?
Troubles at home?

No, it is an
impossible planet to find.

Well, what is it called?

- You never heard of it.
- Well, I bet I have.

- I've travelled a lot.
- I promise you haven't.

- I bet I have, try me.
- Fine. Earth.

Never heard of it.

Just checking.

- Everything okay?
- Yep, two bodies.

Everything...
is fine.

Ah!

- Oh!
- Ooh.

I can't take any more scares.

♪ ... lovin' you ♪

- ♪ Life could be... be... be ♪
- [she screams]

I am sorry.

My systems are failing.

Let us in, let us in!

Let us out, let us out!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

We're not blowing
another hole in Winni.

I can break it down
with my body.

- Do it!
- Or...

Ugh.

Getting serious now.

Two deaths were serious enough.

- How'd you get in there?
- Secret passageway.

We have a secret passageway?

Always a new surprise, Winni.

Why do you have
a secret passageway

leading to the washroom?
That's gross.

The ship was Isaac's originally.

- I didn't do it!
- Secret passageway.

That's it.

There's
a passageway that runs from

the palace garden statues
into the basement.

- That's how we get in.
- Oh, what's that?

It's a game.

This is hardly a time for games!

Hey.
Hey, who are you calling?

- I'm alerting the Admiralty.
- No!

Are you mad?!

That was our last
chance at survival.

Now we have nothing.

Nothing!

If there's anybody here, just...

...look out.

Three people have been murdered.

- Very aware of that.
- And it's messing up my ship.

Is there anything we can
do without this missing device?

If we had more time,
I could wipe

and re-install
our entire system.

- How much time?
- A day? Or two?

Okay.

- We continue the search.
- I'm staying put.

I don't trust any of you.

Current life reserves
will run out in 15 minutes.

- So load up, peacock.
- Guys.

Where's Mull?

Hole in the head.
Same as the driver and Kahn.

If this is
the killer's signature,

why was Lloyd's head blown off?

Maybe he was practice!

While the killer
developed his pattern.

Or her pattern.

I'm getting
really bored of this game.

Which one of you did it?
Tell me now,

- or I kill all three of you.
- She will.

If it's not already obvious,

I am just
as bored of this dinner party.

Why would I call
the Admiralty if it was me?

- Blood makes me squeamish.
- You were paired with Mull.

Maybe he annoyed you.
He WAS an asshole.

And we did find you
in the washroom with the driver.

- Maybe you both did it!
- I. Didn't. Do it!

Then who the hell did?!

- You guys saw that, right?
- Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Great.
Looks like someone...

...let a damn
space bug in!

- Is that the killer?
- I hope so.

Monsters we can handle.

Okay, new plan.
Two groups continue to search

for the device,
and we'll go monster-hunting.

We all need

more weapons
if we're going to be

trapped here with that thing!

Yes!

Piece of pipe?

Ooh!

I want this one.

This should be
in my work station.

I always wondered what this was.

And this?

That's rope, Isaac.

Oof! Godforsaken ship!

If we're going down,
I am going all out.

So...

this planet, Earth,

they all look like you?

Well, I mean, I am one of
the more advanced of the spe...

Species, but, uh, but yeah.

I must visit.
To... tough to get to, you say?

I didn't say it was tough.

I said impossible.

As in different galaxy,
as in Milky Way.

Or as you call it, Scadbury.

Oh, ohh! The...

The Scadbury galaxy.

Oh, yeah, I love it there!

Hey, um...

there WAS something I wanted
to talk to you guys about.

When we get to Arriopa...

I'm going to the palace alone.

What? How many times
do we need to go over this?

We're a team, we stay together.

It's not like that.
Look, I'm the only one

who has any chance
of taking on the Sterzaad.

You don't know for sure
if you're immune to it?

No.

But I know for sure you're not.

Or Isaac.

I can't believe it.
Poor Kahn.

She was a good parking agent.
Such an optimist.

Her death must've come
as a great shock to her.

Less talking, more...

- Mind the ship.
- I never miss.

Technically I didn't miss?

You've been to the Milky Way?

Milky Way!
That's so funny.

Is that what you call it?

- Sounds yummy.
- When?

Wow. Decades, in fact,
since I was last there.

Yeah?
How did you get there?

Gosh, well,
if I remember correctly...

No!

You've got blood on your hands.

Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Uh... guys?

Elida?
Amae?

Suddenly things
got a lot more confusing.

- Who's that?
- Kahn.

- She's alive?
- Uh... no?

Don't touch that,
she shot Lesley.

- What? She's the murderer?
- No. But I know who is.

Me too.

And in order
to help you understand,

I shall have to
take you through the events

of the evening step-by-step.

- At the start of the eveni...
- Lloyd hatched.

That's not where I was going.

He just got back
from a trip, right?

Winni,
deadly species on Kafkaria.

The Corpal Seps.
After laying eggs

in living organisms, it can tak
over motor control of its host.

You people go there on holiday?
It's like another Australia.

- Lloyd was infected.
- What, the flu he had?

Not flu. The Corpal Seps
was ready to hatch,

pushing through his sinuses.

The female of
the species is more deadly

than the male,
and judging by how quickly

it's grown, that's
what we're dealing with.

But here's what really happened.

- No, that explained everything.
- Nothing's explained.

We still don't understand
why Kahn is alive... again.

She's not.
The egg implanted in her

has now
taken over her motor controls.

It's not Kahn.

Oh, so that means...

They're all starting to wake up.

I should've stopped
drinking a few murders back.

Where are you going?

Gluuber driver
left his shuttle here.

It's a one-seater.
I'm sorry.

I...I wouldn't do that!

- No shooting the ship.
- Shall we?

The skulls are protected!

Then what do we do?!

♪ Rattle those pots and pans ♪

♪ Get out from that kitchen
Rattle those pots and pans ♪

♪ Well, roll my breakfast
'Cause I'm a hungry man ♪

Ah!

♪ I said, shake,
rattle and roll ♪

♪ I said, shake,
rattle and roll ♪

♪ Well, you never done nothing
to save your doggone soul ♪

♪ Shake, rattle & roll ♪

Are you hiding?

I'm coming!

Oh,
you'll make an excellent host.

Stab them through the mouth!

Ahhh!!!

One more to take down.

Winnibee?

Winni...

- We stay together.
- Damn right.

No point in hiding anymore!

Oh, I'm not hiding.

Just playing.

Holy shit.

I must thank you.

My first outing after hatching,

and I couldn't have asked
for a better evening.

- I bet Lloyd could have.
- Oh, it's a matter of life...

...after death.

Now that he's dead,
I have a life.

No need to rush this anymore.

You're all that's left.

Hi, beautiful.

I think I'll save you for last.

What
a great-sized head you have!

Wait!

There's still one thing
I don't understand.

- One thing?
- Why'd you move Lloyd's body?

I needed
to feast in order to grow.

A gruesome aftermath, I know.

I tried to hide him, but...
where were we?

Flames...
Flames on the side of my face?

Heating?

Let's get this bitch.

We're losing oxygen.

You mean to tell me...
this whole time...

we were just
dealing with a damn parasite?

Murder was just a red herring.

Elida!

Maybe...

death by spider
would've been better.

Goddamn Parking Authority.

Wait.

You hear that?

Please...

- Oh... Keep going.
- So gross.

Elida. Oh.

Holy shit.

It is wise to
dispose of all the bodies now.

Good idea, Winnibee.

- Goodbye, Lloyd.
- Goodbye, Kahn.

- Goodbye, Eileen.
- Goodbye, McKean.

- Goodbye, Lesley.
- Goodbye... Mull?

Goodbye...

...Never got his name.

Mr. Body?

And... voila.

No more Parking Authority.

Also...

...thank you, Lesley.

Palace tickets?
Nice.

She'd, uh,
been to my galaxy, you know.

- Really?
- Who knows?

I never got to find out more.

We'll find it.
One day.

Guys!!!

It's a transmission
from Captain Volun.

It came in hours ago.

Your Majesty...

I have no idea whether
this will reach you,

but I had to try.

General Dessai
believes the best way to win

the war against
Lazaro is with excessive force.

- Well, duh.
- She's sending our battalion

to Arriopa.

She's going to bomb the city.

What?

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪