Utopia (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Mission Creeps - full transcript
Tony is asked by the Minister to oversee the implementation on a new electronic I.D card scheme. Nat and Ash must face the fact that their expensive wildlife project preservation may not have actually preserved any wildlife.
My vision for this country...
- Roads, rail.
- Right across Australia.
- We are in the age of infrastructure.
- The dawn of a new era.
Take this country to the 21st century.
- Bucketloads of bitumen and bricks.
- Building a stronger country.
Record spending...
We're spending more than any
government has ever spent.
- $44 billion.
- $75 billion.
- $100 billion.
- It's big money in anyone's language.
- This is a nation-building...
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
Nation-building.
But this year's priority
list is also significant
because it comes at a
particularly pivotal time
for infrastructure
decision-making in Australia.
- (LOUD CHATTER)
- So, how are these priorities ranked?
As we can see here, we
adhere to a clear process
that takes into account
a more holistic view...
(TAPS MIC)
Morning. Hey.
KATIE: So, how did it go?
- Like they all do.
- Oh.
OK. Now, you've got the Australian
Business Council at 11:30.
Haven't I just met with them?
No, that was the Australian
Business Advisory Forum.
Just a quick get-together. And
Terry would love to catch up.
- Who's Terry?
- From Places Victoria.
She said she met you at the
business breakfast this morning.
- She wants five minutes.
- It's never five minutes.
Why does she want to see me?
To get your thoughts on
infrastructure prioritisation.
- That's what my speech was about.
- She couldn't hear you.
Seriously, no more business breakfasts.
- And Terry?
- No more Terrys.
- I'll send her a copy of your speech.
- OK.
- Tony, can I...
- Just hold on a second, Scotty.
Just got to jump on a few things.
- Seriously, I need some clear air.
- Of course.
- Door?
- Shut. Closed.
- Oh...
- Got a minute?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Oh, come on. You're too kind.
I didn't realise you
guys would even know.
- You tweeted it.
- What was the category?
Outstanding Achievement
in Environmental Design.
Remember the biotunnels at Bullengarook?
- Did you make a speech?
- A few words.
- Five minutes.
- Who told you that?
- You were live streaming.
- Did we get a mention?
- Um...
- Nope.
It was more just a general
sort of acknowledgement.
- I was getting the wind-up.
- Can I have a look?
- Just watch the...
- NAT: Congratulations, Ash.
- Who told you?
- You Instagrammed.
I did actually mention this at
the breakfast this morning, Daniel.
You couldn't hear?
I'll get Katie to send you a copy.
OK, mate. I've got to
go. Yep, alright. Cheers.
Sorry about that. So...
Just got a call from
the minister. Reshuffle.
- Another one?
- Good result.
He's also now Minister
for Digital Transformation.
- Our guy?
- On the rise.
- He still uses a fax machine.
- He'll be briefed.
Jim, there's been five ministers
for digital transformation
in as many years.
And he's keen to hit the ground
running. Looking for ideas.
And guess who he asked to see first.
- Oh, Jim, I'm flat out.
- 10 minutes.
- Good man.
- (KNOCKS) Now?
Uh...
And on Thursday, you've got
the regional advisory team.
Who's advising who?
I'll check. They just want a
quick one-on-one in the boardroom.
Why the boardroom?
I think there's more than one coming.
- Would you mind handling that?
- Sure.
- OK, I think that's about it.
- The award.
Oh, the award, yeah. I think
most of you will have heard.
We won an award on Friday night,
so congratulations, of course...
Thanks, Tony.
..go to everyone
involved in the project.
- I said that on the night.
- Not really.
OK, are we done?
Oh, Scotty wanted to mention something.
- Just quickly.
- A new podcast.
Another one? I've got about 15
recommendations I've yet to get to.
No, I think we should
be DOING a podcast.
- Oh, yes!
- Yes! That's great.
A chance to get our message out,
let the people know what we're doing.
What happened to the YouTube channel?
Wrong demo. Wasn't getting the views.
I reckon a podcast is the way to go.
A lot of other
departments are doing them.
- Defence have two.
- Two?!
- Yeah.
- Good week to start, with the award.
Whoa, whoa. You know what? I
think we've all got a lot going on.
Maybe not right now.
Sure. Let's keep it all in house.
Yep. OK.
Good meeting.
- (LIFT BELL DINGS)
- Oh!
Nice to see you, Minister.
- Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.
- Great. Yeah, no.
- Pretty eventful week.
- It has been, it has been.
- Just at the end, I think.
- Sure.
Alright, so I'll just action that.
(TAPS REPEATEDLY)
- It's not working again.
- Wrong end.
I'll do it later. The point is,
Tony, it's a brave new world.
What some countries are doing
with their digital agenda...
Actually, I've got a clip here
from Gizmodo that will absolutely...
- It's not playing.
- Try to refresh it.
How do I do that? It doesn't...
- We'll send through the file.
- The link.
Both. So, digital transformation.
Oh, yeah, and congratulations, Minister.
- Thank you. I was...
- TABLET: Hey, Gizmodos, what is up?
Today, we're gonna take...
So, here we are ready to
hit the ground running.
Great. Can you take
note of that, Scotty?
I've had some great
meetings with the department.
- Really?
- They're keen to get moving on this.
- Are they? Yeah, I'm sure.
- (PHONE DINGS)
Actually, that is the
secretary right now.
- Who am I? The labrador?
- Yep.
OK, so, I just let him
know that I've received it.
Shouldn't it make the whoosh, the sound?
The department,
Minister? You were saying?
Right, right. What I said to
them, I'm gonna say to you...
- (WHOOSH!)
- There it goes.
There it goes!
We're looking for big
ideas. Blue sky thinking.
It's the same challenge.
OK, well, we're happy to have a think.
- We'll put together a brief, Scotty.
- Yep.
Love to hear what you
can bring to the table.
Oh, great. Oh, just before
you head off, Minister,
can I have a quiet word with you...
- Yeah, of course.
- ..in regards to the...
Can I just warn you
over the... Can I just...
Sure.
Often in situations like this,
the department's got a big
scheme they've been sitting on
just waiting for a new
minister to come along
so they can reintroduce
it as if it's a fresh idea.
They'll have to get up pretty early
to pull a stunt like that on me.
- (LIFT BELL DINGS)
- What was that?
- The lift.
- Ah!
- Yep?
- I just got an interesting email.
Subject heading, "Delegacion
de investigacion ambiental."
Environmental fact-finding delegation.
- They're actually from Peru.
- Oh, OK.
Coming out for a few weeks,
most of the time in Queensland,
but they've flagged a visit here.
- Here?
- I'll cc you.
- My tunnels!
- Our biotunnels, yes.
Oh, my God. We've gone global!
Now, before you start tweeting,
are you happy to oversee?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
There's a few questions
they want answered...
I'll get right onto it.
Oh, Courtney. I've got an overseas
delegation coming next week.
- They want to do a site visit.
- Great. I'll book a restaurant.
No, no, no. An actual site visit.
- KATIE: You remember Heather.
- My world's full of Heathers.
- From the Infrastructure Council.
- Oh, that Heather.
She just wants a few minutes.
- Why have you allocated half an hour?
- Because it's Heather.
Scotty?
Scotty?
- Everything OK?
- Yeah.
The Attorney General Department's
podcast is now weekly.
Is it? Weird. You know
what? Maybe we give it a go.
- Nah. If you think it's a bad idea...
- No, I didn't say it was a bad idea.
- If you don't want to do it...
- No, no, I do.
You know what? Let's give it a go.
- Really?
- Let's test it.
- What, like a pilot?
- Yeah, yeah. Like a pilot.
- If you think it's a good idea...
- Yeah, let's do it.
- It's your call.
- My call is yes.
I mean, if you think it's a bad
idea, we don't have to do it.
No, let's do it.
And we can use those tools to
promote emerging technologies
in partnership with the private sector,
so, a national partnership program.
Mmm. It's a bit narrow.
Uh, a national... um...
Yeah? OK. Well, another area
we're looking at is start-ups.
So, there's lots of ways to
ease the regulatory burden
and really, sort of,
streamline outcomes and to...
- Right.
- Yep. Is there something wrong?
No. No, no. It's very... it's useful.
- Very comprehensive.
- Yep.
I just wonder whether we're
missing an opportunity.
- Oh...
- Maybe a podcast.
- An opportunity to be bold.
- Absolutely.
Now, I had a very interesting
meeting with the department.
In fact, I took a
snapshot of the whiteboard.
Now, they believe with the right
sort of implementation, we can...
- That's not round the right way.
- Oh. Just...
- No, no, I want it... I want it...
- Well, try turning it back.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Anyway, they came up with a proposal.
I actually don't know how they managed
to pull it together
at such short notice.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. What is it?
It's a Universal Identification Number.
- A UIN.
- You heard of them?
- Not by that name.
- It's pretty cutting-edge.
Every citizen will be able
to seamlessly access
all government services.
- Like an ID card?
- No, no, no. It's a UIN.
Right, yeah, but if it's gonna be
some sort of top-down
data-grabbing surveillance scheme...
No, no, I think we might be
a lap ahead of you on this.
- Might be.
- This is to help people f...
- What was I saying earlier?
- Press Club launch?
- No, no, no, before that.
- Citizen-centric. Yep.
We have to bring the
people along with us.
- You're in the driver's seat.
- It's an early draft, OK?
Our eyes only. Just love to see
if you can pick any holes in it.
Yeah, I'm just not sure whether
this is in our wheelhouse.
Are you kidding? This is exactly
what the NBA should be doing.
- Right.
- It's digital nation building.
Digistructure.
Can you write that down? Use my styli.
- It's very exciting.
- No, it is. No, well...
- Minister, if I could just...
- Yep.
Minister, I'll have a
look at the proposal.
Excellent.
But can I just ask you to promise
me that you don't make any moves
until we've had a chance to assess it?
I'll do better than that.
Diary, note to self.
Call Tony Woodford seven days
from now re departmental proposal.
Great.
Yeah, that didn't record.
- We'll do it in the car.
- (LIFT DOORS OPEN)
- That's going up, sir.
- Right.
- Oh, well, let's try that again.
- Note to Tony...
- The microphone's at the end.
- Note...
RANGER STACEY: I sure won't
be crawling through here.
But I tell you who soon will
be, mountain pygmy possums.
One of our cutest critters, the
pygmy possum, is sadly endangered,
so when this road was built
through their backyard,
engineers came up with the
bright idea to build tunnels,
biotunnels,
so these precious possums
could cross the road
without tangling with traffic.
I thought we could show the delegation.
Maybe book the theatrette.
I think they just want
to visit our tunnels.
- Play it on the bus?
- Sure.
- Have you finished their questions?
- Almost.
I'm thinking of presenting
them with a booklet.
We could add a USB of
the Totally Wild episode.
Yeah. The questions.
I think a USB.
- KATIE: He just wants a minute.
- That's what he said last time.
No, he said a couple
of minutes last time.
Yeah, then he turned up with three
assistants and a data projector.
- I'll see if Nat can do it.
- OK.
Oh, and what about Andrew
from Projects New South Wales?
He just wants five minutes, says
he can do a quick lunch Tuesday.
Where can you have
lunch in five minutes?
- Drive-through?
- No.
- Nat?
- (LOUD BANGING)
Oh, it's for the podcast!
They're soundproofing
the reference room.
- Yep.
- Did Scott have a chance to ask you?
About?
(WHISPERS) I think he wants to
interview you for the pilot episode.
(WHISPERS) There's no need to
whisper. They're behind a mattress.
He said it would only take 10 minutes.
- Sure.
- OK.
- Got a minute?
- Yep.
Just spoke to the minister.
Heard your meeting went well.
- In what sense?
- Digistructure!
- That was his word.
- Apparently you nodded.
We might be onto something.
- Has the minister read this thing?
- How long is it?
- Oh, 180 pages.
- Doubt it.
- Does he know it's an ID card?
- No, it's a UIN.
Doesn't matter what you call it.
It's gonna end up being an ID card.
Wouldn't have thought so.
And between you and me, we're
getting a very positive response.
- From?
- Other departments.
I thought we said it was our eyes only.
Oh, he's just seeking
feedback. And check this list.
ATO, tick. AFP, tick.
Attorney General, ASIO,
Border Force, very keen.
Jim, what do all those
organisations have in common?
Bold thinkers?
They're all involved in
surveillance, enforcement,
revenue collection, prosecution...
Hey, hey, hey, hey! It's
just a discussion panel.
Let him take this thing for a run.
Tony, Heather's here.
- Which Heather?
- I'll check.
Yep.
Uh-huh. Yep.
- Do you think we should get it bound?
- What about the cost?
It's $4.50 to laminate,
but leather would be...
Of the biotunnels. They wanted a figure.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to lock down.
Let's just look up the works budget.
Yeah, but that's a big effort to find...
Here it is.
Open the spreadsheet, hit Control-7.
- I guess that's...
- Scroll to final costings...
Yeah, but what's final? It's tricky...
Alterations and modifications.
Add those two columns and you've got...
(YELLS) Holy shit!
(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
- Sure you don't want some cans?
- No, I'm fine.
- What?
- I'm fine!
Thanks, Tony. Really appreciate this.
- We good to go?
- What?
- Are we good to go?
- Yeah.
Actually, we might just move that
mic in a little closer there, Brian.
- Yeah, I can do that.
- OK?
Tony Woodford, welcome to Talkin' NBA.
Oh, It's good to be here.
In a nutshell, could you
describe your role as CEO?
Yeah, well, my main responsibility
is to assess the viability of
proj... well, infrastructure projects
and sort of arrange in
a sort of a priority...
- Sorry, is there a problem?
- No, it's fine.
You were just doing that.
Oh, it's just, the snappier, the better.
- I thought I was being snappy.
- A little waffly.
- Sure you don't want some cans?
- No, I'm fine.
We'll do a pick-up. We can
drop the intro in later.
OK, yep.
Rolling!
So, Tony, could you describe,
succinctly, your role as CEO?
Yes, my role is to assess the viability
of infrastructure
projects for government.
Now, that government might
be federal, it might be state,
it can be local councils,
and so... and after that...
- I reckon one more time from the top.
- OK, yep.
- Watch the waffle, Tony.
- Yep.
- ASH: That can't be right.
- $72 million?!
How do you put a price on
protecting our wildlife?
I just did. Control-7.
And when you consider
everything we've achieved...
Do we actually know whether
these tunnels have been a success?
- We won the award.
- In terms of preserving possums?
Well, Totally Wild did that story.
- Ash, Totally Wild is a kids' show.
- I watch it.
Not sure if you noticed,
but they didn't actually show
any possums using the tunnels.
Yeah, but they would be.
Wouldn't they?
Uh, the entrance is up here, mate.
Beautiful, this whole area...
Um, up there, yep.
And then we head towards that...
Very exciting to be on the world stage.
- NAT: Mmm.
- ASH: Is that possum poo?
Uh, no, wallaby. So, Peru...
- And would wallabies use the tunnel?
- Wouldn't have thought so, no.
- We're all very chuffed.
- Yeah.
Uh, just out of interest, Graham,
how successful have the tunnels been?
- Very successful.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- And the evidence for that?
- We just won that award.
- Sure...
You know that kids' TV show
has been out here filming?
- Totally Wild, yeah.
- Here the whole day.
When we come back with the delegations,
we'd really like to
show them some evidence
that those $72 million tunnels...
(YELLS) $72 million?!
SCOTT: Sorry, guys?
We're recording atmos.
Some evidence that the tunnels
are being used by actual possums.
Do you have any photos or footage?
Uh... we could set some
cameras up, night vision,
get some idea of
population numbers, yeah.
Yeah? That'd be great.
- What about that?
- Wombat.
- And would they?
- Nope. No, no, no.
Guys, just 30 seconds.
- That's all we need.
- That's it.
What's with all the people?
Oh, a couple couldn't make it.
- What happened to a casual chat?
- I put out biscuits.
Well, on behalf of the minister,
I'd like to welcome
everyone here this morning
to the first meeting of
this steering committee.
- Discussion panel.
- Discussion, steering, same thing.
Not really.
And I'd like to formally
acknowledge the presence
of Mr Tony Woodford from the NBA.
- Are we... taking minutes?
- Tony will be sitting in with us.
So, looking forward to
his robust oversight.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- Yeah, yep.
OK, well, we might as well make a start.
Everyone got a copy of the proposal?
- Discussion paper.
- Yes, sorry, my mistake.
We've all read it, so
I don't see any issues.
- So why don't we just fly on through?
- Mm-hm.
- Page one.
- Yep.
Two. Three.
Four. Five.
Six.
Sorry, Peter, can we
just go back a second?
- Uh, six?
- Page one.
- Uh, whereabouts?
- First sentence.
"A UIN ID card scheme will help
Australia counter identity theft."
Beca... I see no evidence. I don't...
It just seems a... claim,
an ambit claim. (LAUGHS)
Alright, are we done?
Y-yep. Yep.
OK. Well, let's get our skates on.
Page two.
Three. Four.
- Five...
- Page two.
"The proposed numeric
identification system...
- Uh, the UIN.
- "..will be voluntary."
Yes. But we don't mean to impose.
I mean, you're in the driver's seat.
Yeah, but then it goes on to say...
- Sorry, which page again?
- Page two.
"Non-registration may
result in ineligibility
"for prescribed government
services, health, welfare, etc."
- Your point?
- Not really voluntary.
Well, they still have a choice.
Well, in the same sense someone
being blackmailed has a choice.
- You're still in the driver's seat.
- Er, driving where?
Can we just maybe put a pin in this?
We've got a lot to get
through before we sign off.
Who said we were gonna sign off?
Oh, just on the exploratory
discussion stage...
Yeah, right. OK. Sure. Yep,
OK. Well, let's move on.
We are all making great
progress, everyone.
So, page three, four, five...
Yeah, still page two, Alison.
Actually, come back
to one. Bottom of one.
NAT: Alright, I'm calling
it. I'm going home.
- Have you heard Treasury's podcast?
- No.
Mint Condition. Lame.
- Right. 'Night.
- 'Night.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What's that?
Got the live feed from the biotunnels.
- Oh, how's it looking so far?
- It's only just gone dark.
Might need to give it
another half an hour or so.
OK. See you in the morning.
- Morning, Courtney.
- COURTNEY: Good morning, Tony.
Are you able to organise
a courier for me?
Certainly, Tony. A courier?
I look forward to completing that
task for you in a timely manner.
- I'm recording atmos for a podcast.
- Oh, right. Yeah, no.
Just talk naturally.
Oh, yeah. Well, thanks
for organising the courier.
That'll be... most helpful to get the
documents to where they need to go.
- Tony?
- Mmm?
I just got an iCal
alert from the minister.
Yep.
"Looking forward to seven-day
update. See attachment."
Yep.
I don't think he knows
how to add an attachment.
Right. You might have to chase that up.
Oh, and have you got a
few minutes for Rhonda?
- Yep.
- And Jim?
Is it the same few minutes?
- I think so.
- OK.
I'll let them know, and I'll
chase up that attachment.
Beauty.
Ash.
- Morning. How'd you go?
- Oh...
Oh... I-I might have missed a few hours.
Yeah, but before you fell asleep?
Not as many as we hoped.
But in total?
In total, none.
- Not one possum?
- So far.
I'll go back over the stuff I missed.
There'll be plenty.
- OK.
- We're fine.
We're fine, we're fine.
We'll be fine. We're fine. Fine.
KATIE: Are you at the office?
No, no, I'm at the
cafe. I'm meeting Andrew.
Andrew who?
From Infrastructure New South Wales.
You said he wanted five
minutes for a quick coffee.
Oh, that Andrew.
Um, he just texted now.
He's running 15 minutes late.
For a five-minute catch up?
The minister also wants a quick chat.
- When?
- Today. He sent you an iCal alert.
Did he?
Oh, yeah, it IS for
today, in the year 2055.
I'll get back to him.
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
- Got something?
- Yep. Just then.
- It's a feral cat.
- I swear I saw a possum.
Wait.
- There!
- In the cat's mouth!
- That still counts.
- (CLICK!)
- That's the minister now.
- (PHONE RINGS)
TONY: OK.
Alright, there we are. I'm getting you.
I've got... Yep.
- Tony.
- Yep, I'm here.
- Where... where?
- Here.
I can't see him. Uh, wait a minute.
- Ah, there he is.
- Ah. OK.
Hey, Tony, I hear you're making
great progress with the task force.
Yeah... No, we're working our way
through the discussion paper, yes.
Everyone's taking on
board your concerns.
However, we have... we've
run into a bit of pushback.
In what sense?
Well, just all these checks
and balances of yours.
Are we tying the hands
of our security agencies?
See, this is what happens, Minister.
The minute you push back
against an ID scheme,
they start talking about terrorists
and stopping the paedophiles and...
- Did they brief you too?
- No. No, no briefing, no.
OK, I hear what you're saying,
but let's not lose
our bold vision, yeah?
No, I don't want to lose
the vision at all, so...
- You're gone.
- No, I haven't gone anywhere.
I think he pressed something.
- Did you press something?
- No, I didn't. No.
- What...
- I think he must have.
What has he done?
Sorry, Rhon, I'm just trying to
find the minister's attachment.
Fine. Shall we?
- What about Jim?
- Oh, we can start without him.
Sorry, Tony, you mentioned
it'd be OK to record a meeting?
- What?
- Audio overlay for the podcast.
- Oh, are you OK with that?
- Background only?
- Yep.
- You'll edit it?
- Sure, OK.
- Alright, alright.
Oh, I didn't realise that we...
- Oh, quickly, guys.
- Just a sec to set up.
OK. Just set up quickly.
- The mic in there. OK.
- Yep.
- Just get some levels.
- Yeah, one, two, three, four.
- Let's go...
- And rolling.
We're rolling. Three... two... one...
Er, what's up?
I've just had the chairman of
the implementation task force
on the phone, and apparently
you're only up to page five.
Yeah, it's called a discussion panel.
And you've discussed.
Now, could we get MOVING?!
- Ooh, she's peaking.
- Definitely.
OK, guys, come on...
You're tying the hands
of our security agencies.
- I knew this was coming.
- We can't let the terrorists win.
- Or the paedophiles?
- Oh, or the paedophiles. Exactly.
Time to get back on Team
Australia, my friend.
Rhonda, this whole thing is turning into
a top-down, government-controlled
data-grabbing exercise.
Ooh! Sounds like we're close.
No, we're not. Jim, this is poor policy.
- Ooh, sorry, Tony, you're popping.
- I don't give a shit!
- We'll beep that.
- I said this would happen!
Back in the red there.
(SHOUTS) Got enough?!
- Yep.
- Plenty.
Heaps. Thank you.
Have a seat. Thanks.
- G'day.
- Hi. How's it going? Hi...
Thank you all for coming
in at such short notice.
- I realise everyone is busy.
- Oh, we're happy to be here.
And may we extend our
congratulations on the award.
Thank you. Now, Ash and I have a few...
Um... Would you mind?
Oh. Um, Ash?
I guess the question we'd
like answered today is,
have the Bullengarook
biotunnels been a success?
- Oh, absolutely. Very good.
- Yes.
And when you say that, in what
way have they been successful?
Uh, I think it's the
message that they send.
What message is that?
That this government is willing
to commit significant funds
to the right-sounding idea.
But in terms of species preservation,
have we saved many pygmy possums?
Uh, it's not really for me to say.
- You're head of the department.
- It's early days.
I mean, projects like this need to
be assessed over a broad time line.
We found a survey from
before the tunnels were built
that put population at
approximately 430 possums.
That sounds about right. I mean,
there's seasonal variations...
And after two nights
of a survey this week,
we've spotted seven possums,
each in the mouth of a feral cat.
One was a fox.
Is it possible that the biotunnels
have in fact become biofunnels,
concentrating our possums
into a regular food supply
for feral cats who now
wait at the entrance?
It certainly is one scenario.
Is there another?
That might explain the increase of cats.
- Mmm, and foxes.
- OK.
So I guess the immediate
question is what to do now.
Uh, we could look at
a longitudinal study...
- I mean now.
- We could start it now.
In order to save the
remaining pygmy possums.
Oh. Um...
We could, uh...
..fence off the tunnels.
The $72 million tunnels?
Yes. Well, just until
the study is completed.
OK.
All those in favour?
- Yes.
- Why not?
Huh? What?
Sorry, Minister. Thanks
for making the time.
You look concerned.
I am. I'm worried we're rushing the
process, getting ahead of ourselves.
- Not on my watch.
- OK.
Oh. Shall I show you this?
- You've made a card?
- Yeah, yeah, it's just a prototype.
But check out the hologram.
- Yeah, but is that an RFID chip?
- What's an RFID chip?
- It's...
- Hang on. Don't tell me.
Hey, Siri, what's an RFID chip?
SIRI: Radiofrequency identification
uses electromagnetic fields
to automatically identify and
track tags attached to objects.
- It's incredible.
- That's incredible.
This is exactly what I'm talking about,
that we start off with a limited
idea and then mission creep sets in.
Well, what's mission creep?
SIRI: Mission creep is the gradual or...
It means in this context
that the scheme expands
into a top-down, centralised
database where the citizens lose...
No, no, Tony... Tony.
Tony, we need to give our security
agencies the tools they need.
Yeah, but we have to have the
highest level of regulatory oversight.
- We need full anonymisation.
- Well, what's anonymisation?
Anonymisation is the
type of information...
- Oh, can you just turn it off?
- Yep.
- Just off.
- Yep. It's off.
OK, Tony, I'll tell you what. I'll
take all your concerns on board.
Thank you.
You take another look
at that draft bill.
- When did it become a bill?
- We need to get our skates on.
- No, but this... We're jumping...
- Just have a look at it.
- OK, well, I'll have a look, but...
- Can I have my card?
COURTNEY: Tony? Stefan's here.
Yeah, I saw him in reception.
He's got six people with him.
Just wants five minutes.
That's 50 seconds each,
not allowing for Stefan.
- I'll put them in the boardroom.
- Please.
- Oh, and Jim's here.
- Yep, I can see.
Tell you what, this UIN thing of
yours is getting some traction.
- Yeah, it's not my thing.
- Biometrics.
- Looks like a mug shot.
- Yeah.
And check this out. A passing
police car can scan you.
Are they gonna add your DNA to it?
(QUIETLY) Did you get
the classified briefing?
No. Did you ask the
Minister about my idea?
What idea?
Setting up a fully independent
body to regulate the scheme.
Oh, a bit of pushback.
- Yeah? What did he say?
- No.
Good news, though, loves the ad!
What ad?
Access to all government
services? I'm on board.
(BEEP!)
Getting payments direct to
my account? I'm on board.
Making sure my family's protected
from online predators? I'm on board.
Keeping us safe from terrorists?
I'm definitely on board.
I'm on board.
VOICEOVER: Australia, it's time
for all of us to get on board.
- (KNOCKS) Tony.
- Yep?
- Did you hear the news?
- Is it good?
The podcast dropped last night.
- We're number four.
- Oh, well, that's... that's great.
In the building and
infrastructure category.
Still not bad for a pilot.
No, it... Sorry, what did you just say?
- Number four.
- No, before that.
- Dropped?
- No, "pilot".
- Katie? Katie, can I grab you...
- You said we could do a pilot.
Oh, no, I said that. Oh, no, no,
definitely. We pull the trigger.
Number four. Amazing! (LAUGHS)
Katie, what's the date for
the next discussion panel?
It's now an implementation authority.
Yeah, whatever. I want to
organise a special meeting.
All the department heads, minister,
chief of staff, Jim, Rhonda.
Anyone who's had anything
to do with the, uh...
- UIN.
- ..the UIN.
Yeah.
- ASH: What are we gonna do?
- We can be up front.
Just admit it was a costly mistake.
- Or...
- Sounds better.
- ..we wait.
- Yes!
- Review.
- The longitudinal study!
Gain a better perspective.
I think a better perspective.
And rather than claiming
all the credit, we share it.
Oh, yeah. Let's share. Definitely.
That still leaves us with
our friends from Peru.
- Oh. Well, we can't do a site visit.
- No.
But they've travelled
halfway around the world.
They're gonna want to
see some form of wildlife.
Who's having the wild rabbit?
Whoa! Wild rabbit!
"Ooh! Conejo salvaje!" Ha!
Tony, your very own UIN.
Oh, very citizen-centric.
So, seriously, you're supportive now?
Yeah, but I'm gonna suggest
we start with a trial.
- Done. I'm on board.
- OK.
- SCOTT: OK?
- Yep, sure.
- MINISTER: Sorry we're late.
- Oh, Minister.
- Uh, do you mind if I FaceTime this?
- No, not at all.
It's just there's a couple
of Cabinet colleagues
who want to hear the good news.
- Uh, other way round, Minister.
- Will you...?
Uh, let me begin by saying,
on reflection, I think
we should proceed.
- RHONDA: Ah. Finally!
- That's great, Tony.
I don't want to be a Luddite.
(LAUGHTER)
What's a Luddite?
SIRI: The Luddites were a
secret oath-based organisation...
But I think we should start
with a large-scale trial first.
- Like a pilot.
- Excellent. I'm on board.
- (LAUGHTER)
- Minister!
And I'm suggesting we use Canberra.
You know, opt in everybody.
Citizens, public servants,
staffers, MPs, ministers.
Cabinet ministers. You know,
get all their information.
Travel expenses, credit
cards, phone records.
Track every meeting, every arrival,
departure, dinner, free event.
You know, make it easy on you guys.
You meet with a lobbyist, whoosh!,
everything's logged immediately.
On a database. Forever.
I mean, get this card to tell
us everything we need to know.
Who's on board?
- I can't hear anything.
- Yeah, I've got nothing either.
Welcome to episode two of Talkin' NBA.
I'm joined by Natalie Russell.
So, Nat, the biotunnels.
Actually, can we stop tape?
And so that's at 10:30?
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
- Have we heard from Jim?
- He's still not speaking to you.
- Rhonda?
- Nup.
- Oh, the minister called.
- Oh, what did he want?
- I think it was a butt dial.
- Yep. OK.
- Was that a miaow?
- Something's eating something.
- Roads, rail.
- Right across Australia.
- We are in the age of infrastructure.
- The dawn of a new era.
Take this country to the 21st century.
- Bucketloads of bitumen and bricks.
- Building a stronger country.
Record spending...
We're spending more than any
government has ever spent.
- $44 billion.
- $75 billion.
- $100 billion.
- It's big money in anyone's language.
- This is a nation-building...
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
Nation-building.
But this year's priority
list is also significant
because it comes at a
particularly pivotal time
for infrastructure
decision-making in Australia.
- (LOUD CHATTER)
- So, how are these priorities ranked?
As we can see here, we
adhere to a clear process
that takes into account
a more holistic view...
(TAPS MIC)
Morning. Hey.
KATIE: So, how did it go?
- Like they all do.
- Oh.
OK. Now, you've got the Australian
Business Council at 11:30.
Haven't I just met with them?
No, that was the Australian
Business Advisory Forum.
Just a quick get-together. And
Terry would love to catch up.
- Who's Terry?
- From Places Victoria.
She said she met you at the
business breakfast this morning.
- She wants five minutes.
- It's never five minutes.
Why does she want to see me?
To get your thoughts on
infrastructure prioritisation.
- That's what my speech was about.
- She couldn't hear you.
Seriously, no more business breakfasts.
- And Terry?
- No more Terrys.
- I'll send her a copy of your speech.
- OK.
- Tony, can I...
- Just hold on a second, Scotty.
Just got to jump on a few things.
- Seriously, I need some clear air.
- Of course.
- Door?
- Shut. Closed.
- Oh...
- Got a minute?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Oh, come on. You're too kind.
I didn't realise you
guys would even know.
- You tweeted it.
- What was the category?
Outstanding Achievement
in Environmental Design.
Remember the biotunnels at Bullengarook?
- Did you make a speech?
- A few words.
- Five minutes.
- Who told you that?
- You were live streaming.
- Did we get a mention?
- Um...
- Nope.
It was more just a general
sort of acknowledgement.
- I was getting the wind-up.
- Can I have a look?
- Just watch the...
- NAT: Congratulations, Ash.
- Who told you?
- You Instagrammed.
I did actually mention this at
the breakfast this morning, Daniel.
You couldn't hear?
I'll get Katie to send you a copy.
OK, mate. I've got to
go. Yep, alright. Cheers.
Sorry about that. So...
Just got a call from
the minister. Reshuffle.
- Another one?
- Good result.
He's also now Minister
for Digital Transformation.
- Our guy?
- On the rise.
- He still uses a fax machine.
- He'll be briefed.
Jim, there's been five ministers
for digital transformation
in as many years.
And he's keen to hit the ground
running. Looking for ideas.
And guess who he asked to see first.
- Oh, Jim, I'm flat out.
- 10 minutes.
- Good man.
- (KNOCKS) Now?
Uh...
And on Thursday, you've got
the regional advisory team.
Who's advising who?
I'll check. They just want a
quick one-on-one in the boardroom.
Why the boardroom?
I think there's more than one coming.
- Would you mind handling that?
- Sure.
- OK, I think that's about it.
- The award.
Oh, the award, yeah. I think
most of you will have heard.
We won an award on Friday night,
so congratulations, of course...
Thanks, Tony.
..go to everyone
involved in the project.
- I said that on the night.
- Not really.
OK, are we done?
Oh, Scotty wanted to mention something.
- Just quickly.
- A new podcast.
Another one? I've got about 15
recommendations I've yet to get to.
No, I think we should
be DOING a podcast.
- Oh, yes!
- Yes! That's great.
A chance to get our message out,
let the people know what we're doing.
What happened to the YouTube channel?
Wrong demo. Wasn't getting the views.
I reckon a podcast is the way to go.
A lot of other
departments are doing them.
- Defence have two.
- Two?!
- Yeah.
- Good week to start, with the award.
Whoa, whoa. You know what? I
think we've all got a lot going on.
Maybe not right now.
Sure. Let's keep it all in house.
Yep. OK.
Good meeting.
- (LIFT BELL DINGS)
- Oh!
Nice to see you, Minister.
- Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.
- Great. Yeah, no.
- Pretty eventful week.
- It has been, it has been.
- Just at the end, I think.
- Sure.
Alright, so I'll just action that.
(TAPS REPEATEDLY)
- It's not working again.
- Wrong end.
I'll do it later. The point is,
Tony, it's a brave new world.
What some countries are doing
with their digital agenda...
Actually, I've got a clip here
from Gizmodo that will absolutely...
- It's not playing.
- Try to refresh it.
How do I do that? It doesn't...
- We'll send through the file.
- The link.
Both. So, digital transformation.
Oh, yeah, and congratulations, Minister.
- Thank you. I was...
- TABLET: Hey, Gizmodos, what is up?
Today, we're gonna take...
So, here we are ready to
hit the ground running.
Great. Can you take
note of that, Scotty?
I've had some great
meetings with the department.
- Really?
- They're keen to get moving on this.
- Are they? Yeah, I'm sure.
- (PHONE DINGS)
Actually, that is the
secretary right now.
- Who am I? The labrador?
- Yep.
OK, so, I just let him
know that I've received it.
Shouldn't it make the whoosh, the sound?
The department,
Minister? You were saying?
Right, right. What I said to
them, I'm gonna say to you...
- (WHOOSH!)
- There it goes.
There it goes!
We're looking for big
ideas. Blue sky thinking.
It's the same challenge.
OK, well, we're happy to have a think.
- We'll put together a brief, Scotty.
- Yep.
Love to hear what you
can bring to the table.
Oh, great. Oh, just before
you head off, Minister,
can I have a quiet word with you...
- Yeah, of course.
- ..in regards to the...
Can I just warn you
over the... Can I just...
Sure.
Often in situations like this,
the department's got a big
scheme they've been sitting on
just waiting for a new
minister to come along
so they can reintroduce
it as if it's a fresh idea.
They'll have to get up pretty early
to pull a stunt like that on me.
- (LIFT BELL DINGS)
- What was that?
- The lift.
- Ah!
- Yep?
- I just got an interesting email.
Subject heading, "Delegacion
de investigacion ambiental."
Environmental fact-finding delegation.
- They're actually from Peru.
- Oh, OK.
Coming out for a few weeks,
most of the time in Queensland,
but they've flagged a visit here.
- Here?
- I'll cc you.
- My tunnels!
- Our biotunnels, yes.
Oh, my God. We've gone global!
Now, before you start tweeting,
are you happy to oversee?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
There's a few questions
they want answered...
I'll get right onto it.
Oh, Courtney. I've got an overseas
delegation coming next week.
- They want to do a site visit.
- Great. I'll book a restaurant.
No, no, no. An actual site visit.
- KATIE: You remember Heather.
- My world's full of Heathers.
- From the Infrastructure Council.
- Oh, that Heather.
She just wants a few minutes.
- Why have you allocated half an hour?
- Because it's Heather.
Scotty?
Scotty?
- Everything OK?
- Yeah.
The Attorney General Department's
podcast is now weekly.
Is it? Weird. You know
what? Maybe we give it a go.
- Nah. If you think it's a bad idea...
- No, I didn't say it was a bad idea.
- If you don't want to do it...
- No, no, I do.
You know what? Let's give it a go.
- Really?
- Let's test it.
- What, like a pilot?
- Yeah, yeah. Like a pilot.
- If you think it's a good idea...
- Yeah, let's do it.
- It's your call.
- My call is yes.
I mean, if you think it's a bad
idea, we don't have to do it.
No, let's do it.
And we can use those tools to
promote emerging technologies
in partnership with the private sector,
so, a national partnership program.
Mmm. It's a bit narrow.
Uh, a national... um...
Yeah? OK. Well, another area
we're looking at is start-ups.
So, there's lots of ways to
ease the regulatory burden
and really, sort of,
streamline outcomes and to...
- Right.
- Yep. Is there something wrong?
No. No, no. It's very... it's useful.
- Very comprehensive.
- Yep.
I just wonder whether we're
missing an opportunity.
- Oh...
- Maybe a podcast.
- An opportunity to be bold.
- Absolutely.
Now, I had a very interesting
meeting with the department.
In fact, I took a
snapshot of the whiteboard.
Now, they believe with the right
sort of implementation, we can...
- That's not round the right way.
- Oh. Just...
- No, no, I want it... I want it...
- Well, try turning it back.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Anyway, they came up with a proposal.
I actually don't know how they managed
to pull it together
at such short notice.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. What is it?
It's a Universal Identification Number.
- A UIN.
- You heard of them?
- Not by that name.
- It's pretty cutting-edge.
Every citizen will be able
to seamlessly access
all government services.
- Like an ID card?
- No, no, no. It's a UIN.
Right, yeah, but if it's gonna be
some sort of top-down
data-grabbing surveillance scheme...
No, no, I think we might be
a lap ahead of you on this.
- Might be.
- This is to help people f...
- What was I saying earlier?
- Press Club launch?
- No, no, no, before that.
- Citizen-centric. Yep.
We have to bring the
people along with us.
- You're in the driver's seat.
- It's an early draft, OK?
Our eyes only. Just love to see
if you can pick any holes in it.
Yeah, I'm just not sure whether
this is in our wheelhouse.
Are you kidding? This is exactly
what the NBA should be doing.
- Right.
- It's digital nation building.
Digistructure.
Can you write that down? Use my styli.
- It's very exciting.
- No, it is. No, well...
- Minister, if I could just...
- Yep.
Minister, I'll have a
look at the proposal.
Excellent.
But can I just ask you to promise
me that you don't make any moves
until we've had a chance to assess it?
I'll do better than that.
Diary, note to self.
Call Tony Woodford seven days
from now re departmental proposal.
Great.
Yeah, that didn't record.
- We'll do it in the car.
- (LIFT DOORS OPEN)
- That's going up, sir.
- Right.
- Oh, well, let's try that again.
- Note to Tony...
- The microphone's at the end.
- Note...
RANGER STACEY: I sure won't
be crawling through here.
But I tell you who soon will
be, mountain pygmy possums.
One of our cutest critters, the
pygmy possum, is sadly endangered,
so when this road was built
through their backyard,
engineers came up with the
bright idea to build tunnels,
biotunnels,
so these precious possums
could cross the road
without tangling with traffic.
I thought we could show the delegation.
Maybe book the theatrette.
I think they just want
to visit our tunnels.
- Play it on the bus?
- Sure.
- Have you finished their questions?
- Almost.
I'm thinking of presenting
them with a booklet.
We could add a USB of
the Totally Wild episode.
Yeah. The questions.
I think a USB.
- KATIE: He just wants a minute.
- That's what he said last time.
No, he said a couple
of minutes last time.
Yeah, then he turned up with three
assistants and a data projector.
- I'll see if Nat can do it.
- OK.
Oh, and what about Andrew
from Projects New South Wales?
He just wants five minutes, says
he can do a quick lunch Tuesday.
Where can you have
lunch in five minutes?
- Drive-through?
- No.
- Nat?
- (LOUD BANGING)
Oh, it's for the podcast!
They're soundproofing
the reference room.
- Yep.
- Did Scott have a chance to ask you?
About?
(WHISPERS) I think he wants to
interview you for the pilot episode.
(WHISPERS) There's no need to
whisper. They're behind a mattress.
He said it would only take 10 minutes.
- Sure.
- OK.
- Got a minute?
- Yep.
Just spoke to the minister.
Heard your meeting went well.
- In what sense?
- Digistructure!
- That was his word.
- Apparently you nodded.
We might be onto something.
- Has the minister read this thing?
- How long is it?
- Oh, 180 pages.
- Doubt it.
- Does he know it's an ID card?
- No, it's a UIN.
Doesn't matter what you call it.
It's gonna end up being an ID card.
Wouldn't have thought so.
And between you and me, we're
getting a very positive response.
- From?
- Other departments.
I thought we said it was our eyes only.
Oh, he's just seeking
feedback. And check this list.
ATO, tick. AFP, tick.
Attorney General, ASIO,
Border Force, very keen.
Jim, what do all those
organisations have in common?
Bold thinkers?
They're all involved in
surveillance, enforcement,
revenue collection, prosecution...
Hey, hey, hey, hey! It's
just a discussion panel.
Let him take this thing for a run.
Tony, Heather's here.
- Which Heather?
- I'll check.
Yep.
Uh-huh. Yep.
- Do you think we should get it bound?
- What about the cost?
It's $4.50 to laminate,
but leather would be...
Of the biotunnels. They wanted a figure.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to lock down.
Let's just look up the works budget.
Yeah, but that's a big effort to find...
Here it is.
Open the spreadsheet, hit Control-7.
- I guess that's...
- Scroll to final costings...
Yeah, but what's final? It's tricky...
Alterations and modifications.
Add those two columns and you've got...
(YELLS) Holy shit!
(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
- Sure you don't want some cans?
- No, I'm fine.
- What?
- I'm fine!
Thanks, Tony. Really appreciate this.
- We good to go?
- What?
- Are we good to go?
- Yeah.
Actually, we might just move that
mic in a little closer there, Brian.
- Yeah, I can do that.
- OK?
Tony Woodford, welcome to Talkin' NBA.
Oh, It's good to be here.
In a nutshell, could you
describe your role as CEO?
Yeah, well, my main responsibility
is to assess the viability of
proj... well, infrastructure projects
and sort of arrange in
a sort of a priority...
- Sorry, is there a problem?
- No, it's fine.
You were just doing that.
Oh, it's just, the snappier, the better.
- I thought I was being snappy.
- A little waffly.
- Sure you don't want some cans?
- No, I'm fine.
We'll do a pick-up. We can
drop the intro in later.
OK, yep.
Rolling!
So, Tony, could you describe,
succinctly, your role as CEO?
Yes, my role is to assess the viability
of infrastructure
projects for government.
Now, that government might
be federal, it might be state,
it can be local councils,
and so... and after that...
- I reckon one more time from the top.
- OK, yep.
- Watch the waffle, Tony.
- Yep.
- ASH: That can't be right.
- $72 million?!
How do you put a price on
protecting our wildlife?
I just did. Control-7.
And when you consider
everything we've achieved...
Do we actually know whether
these tunnels have been a success?
- We won the award.
- In terms of preserving possums?
Well, Totally Wild did that story.
- Ash, Totally Wild is a kids' show.
- I watch it.
Not sure if you noticed,
but they didn't actually show
any possums using the tunnels.
Yeah, but they would be.
Wouldn't they?
Uh, the entrance is up here, mate.
Beautiful, this whole area...
Um, up there, yep.
And then we head towards that...
Very exciting to be on the world stage.
- NAT: Mmm.
- ASH: Is that possum poo?
Uh, no, wallaby. So, Peru...
- And would wallabies use the tunnel?
- Wouldn't have thought so, no.
- We're all very chuffed.
- Yeah.
Uh, just out of interest, Graham,
how successful have the tunnels been?
- Very successful.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- And the evidence for that?
- We just won that award.
- Sure...
You know that kids' TV show
has been out here filming?
- Totally Wild, yeah.
- Here the whole day.
When we come back with the delegations,
we'd really like to
show them some evidence
that those $72 million tunnels...
(YELLS) $72 million?!
SCOTT: Sorry, guys?
We're recording atmos.
Some evidence that the tunnels
are being used by actual possums.
Do you have any photos or footage?
Uh... we could set some
cameras up, night vision,
get some idea of
population numbers, yeah.
Yeah? That'd be great.
- What about that?
- Wombat.
- And would they?
- Nope. No, no, no.
Guys, just 30 seconds.
- That's all we need.
- That's it.
What's with all the people?
Oh, a couple couldn't make it.
- What happened to a casual chat?
- I put out biscuits.
Well, on behalf of the minister,
I'd like to welcome
everyone here this morning
to the first meeting of
this steering committee.
- Discussion panel.
- Discussion, steering, same thing.
Not really.
And I'd like to formally
acknowledge the presence
of Mr Tony Woodford from the NBA.
- Are we... taking minutes?
- Tony will be sitting in with us.
So, looking forward to
his robust oversight.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- Yeah, yep.
OK, well, we might as well make a start.
Everyone got a copy of the proposal?
- Discussion paper.
- Yes, sorry, my mistake.
We've all read it, so
I don't see any issues.
- So why don't we just fly on through?
- Mm-hm.
- Page one.
- Yep.
Two. Three.
Four. Five.
Six.
Sorry, Peter, can we
just go back a second?
- Uh, six?
- Page one.
- Uh, whereabouts?
- First sentence.
"A UIN ID card scheme will help
Australia counter identity theft."
Beca... I see no evidence. I don't...
It just seems a... claim,
an ambit claim. (LAUGHS)
Alright, are we done?
Y-yep. Yep.
OK. Well, let's get our skates on.
Page two.
Three. Four.
- Five...
- Page two.
"The proposed numeric
identification system...
- Uh, the UIN.
- "..will be voluntary."
Yes. But we don't mean to impose.
I mean, you're in the driver's seat.
Yeah, but then it goes on to say...
- Sorry, which page again?
- Page two.
"Non-registration may
result in ineligibility
"for prescribed government
services, health, welfare, etc."
- Your point?
- Not really voluntary.
Well, they still have a choice.
Well, in the same sense someone
being blackmailed has a choice.
- You're still in the driver's seat.
- Er, driving where?
Can we just maybe put a pin in this?
We've got a lot to get
through before we sign off.
Who said we were gonna sign off?
Oh, just on the exploratory
discussion stage...
Yeah, right. OK. Sure. Yep,
OK. Well, let's move on.
We are all making great
progress, everyone.
So, page three, four, five...
Yeah, still page two, Alison.
Actually, come back
to one. Bottom of one.
NAT: Alright, I'm calling
it. I'm going home.
- Have you heard Treasury's podcast?
- No.
Mint Condition. Lame.
- Right. 'Night.
- 'Night.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What's that?
Got the live feed from the biotunnels.
- Oh, how's it looking so far?
- It's only just gone dark.
Might need to give it
another half an hour or so.
OK. See you in the morning.
- Morning, Courtney.
- COURTNEY: Good morning, Tony.
Are you able to organise
a courier for me?
Certainly, Tony. A courier?
I look forward to completing that
task for you in a timely manner.
- I'm recording atmos for a podcast.
- Oh, right. Yeah, no.
Just talk naturally.
Oh, yeah. Well, thanks
for organising the courier.
That'll be... most helpful to get the
documents to where they need to go.
- Tony?
- Mmm?
I just got an iCal
alert from the minister.
Yep.
"Looking forward to seven-day
update. See attachment."
Yep.
I don't think he knows
how to add an attachment.
Right. You might have to chase that up.
Oh, and have you got a
few minutes for Rhonda?
- Yep.
- And Jim?
Is it the same few minutes?
- I think so.
- OK.
I'll let them know, and I'll
chase up that attachment.
Beauty.
Ash.
- Morning. How'd you go?
- Oh...
Oh... I-I might have missed a few hours.
Yeah, but before you fell asleep?
Not as many as we hoped.
But in total?
In total, none.
- Not one possum?
- So far.
I'll go back over the stuff I missed.
There'll be plenty.
- OK.
- We're fine.
We're fine, we're fine.
We'll be fine. We're fine. Fine.
KATIE: Are you at the office?
No, no, I'm at the
cafe. I'm meeting Andrew.
Andrew who?
From Infrastructure New South Wales.
You said he wanted five
minutes for a quick coffee.
Oh, that Andrew.
Um, he just texted now.
He's running 15 minutes late.
For a five-minute catch up?
The minister also wants a quick chat.
- When?
- Today. He sent you an iCal alert.
Did he?
Oh, yeah, it IS for
today, in the year 2055.
I'll get back to him.
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
- Got something?
- Yep. Just then.
- It's a feral cat.
- I swear I saw a possum.
Wait.
- There!
- In the cat's mouth!
- That still counts.
- (CLICK!)
- That's the minister now.
- (PHONE RINGS)
TONY: OK.
Alright, there we are. I'm getting you.
I've got... Yep.
- Tony.
- Yep, I'm here.
- Where... where?
- Here.
I can't see him. Uh, wait a minute.
- Ah, there he is.
- Ah. OK.
Hey, Tony, I hear you're making
great progress with the task force.
Yeah... No, we're working our way
through the discussion paper, yes.
Everyone's taking on
board your concerns.
However, we have... we've
run into a bit of pushback.
In what sense?
Well, just all these checks
and balances of yours.
Are we tying the hands
of our security agencies?
See, this is what happens, Minister.
The minute you push back
against an ID scheme,
they start talking about terrorists
and stopping the paedophiles and...
- Did they brief you too?
- No. No, no briefing, no.
OK, I hear what you're saying,
but let's not lose
our bold vision, yeah?
No, I don't want to lose
the vision at all, so...
- You're gone.
- No, I haven't gone anywhere.
I think he pressed something.
- Did you press something?
- No, I didn't. No.
- What...
- I think he must have.
What has he done?
Sorry, Rhon, I'm just trying to
find the minister's attachment.
Fine. Shall we?
- What about Jim?
- Oh, we can start without him.
Sorry, Tony, you mentioned
it'd be OK to record a meeting?
- What?
- Audio overlay for the podcast.
- Oh, are you OK with that?
- Background only?
- Yep.
- You'll edit it?
- Sure, OK.
- Alright, alright.
Oh, I didn't realise that we...
- Oh, quickly, guys.
- Just a sec to set up.
OK. Just set up quickly.
- The mic in there. OK.
- Yep.
- Just get some levels.
- Yeah, one, two, three, four.
- Let's go...
- And rolling.
We're rolling. Three... two... one...
Er, what's up?
I've just had the chairman of
the implementation task force
on the phone, and apparently
you're only up to page five.
Yeah, it's called a discussion panel.
And you've discussed.
Now, could we get MOVING?!
- Ooh, she's peaking.
- Definitely.
OK, guys, come on...
You're tying the hands
of our security agencies.
- I knew this was coming.
- We can't let the terrorists win.
- Or the paedophiles?
- Oh, or the paedophiles. Exactly.
Time to get back on Team
Australia, my friend.
Rhonda, this whole thing is turning into
a top-down, government-controlled
data-grabbing exercise.
Ooh! Sounds like we're close.
No, we're not. Jim, this is poor policy.
- Ooh, sorry, Tony, you're popping.
- I don't give a shit!
- We'll beep that.
- I said this would happen!
Back in the red there.
(SHOUTS) Got enough?!
- Yep.
- Plenty.
Heaps. Thank you.
Have a seat. Thanks.
- G'day.
- Hi. How's it going? Hi...
Thank you all for coming
in at such short notice.
- I realise everyone is busy.
- Oh, we're happy to be here.
And may we extend our
congratulations on the award.
Thank you. Now, Ash and I have a few...
Um... Would you mind?
Oh. Um, Ash?
I guess the question we'd
like answered today is,
have the Bullengarook
biotunnels been a success?
- Oh, absolutely. Very good.
- Yes.
And when you say that, in what
way have they been successful?
Uh, I think it's the
message that they send.
What message is that?
That this government is willing
to commit significant funds
to the right-sounding idea.
But in terms of species preservation,
have we saved many pygmy possums?
Uh, it's not really for me to say.
- You're head of the department.
- It's early days.
I mean, projects like this need to
be assessed over a broad time line.
We found a survey from
before the tunnels were built
that put population at
approximately 430 possums.
That sounds about right. I mean,
there's seasonal variations...
And after two nights
of a survey this week,
we've spotted seven possums,
each in the mouth of a feral cat.
One was a fox.
Is it possible that the biotunnels
have in fact become biofunnels,
concentrating our possums
into a regular food supply
for feral cats who now
wait at the entrance?
It certainly is one scenario.
Is there another?
That might explain the increase of cats.
- Mmm, and foxes.
- OK.
So I guess the immediate
question is what to do now.
Uh, we could look at
a longitudinal study...
- I mean now.
- We could start it now.
In order to save the
remaining pygmy possums.
Oh. Um...
We could, uh...
..fence off the tunnels.
The $72 million tunnels?
Yes. Well, just until
the study is completed.
OK.
All those in favour?
- Yes.
- Why not?
Huh? What?
Sorry, Minister. Thanks
for making the time.
You look concerned.
I am. I'm worried we're rushing the
process, getting ahead of ourselves.
- Not on my watch.
- OK.
Oh. Shall I show you this?
- You've made a card?
- Yeah, yeah, it's just a prototype.
But check out the hologram.
- Yeah, but is that an RFID chip?
- What's an RFID chip?
- It's...
- Hang on. Don't tell me.
Hey, Siri, what's an RFID chip?
SIRI: Radiofrequency identification
uses electromagnetic fields
to automatically identify and
track tags attached to objects.
- It's incredible.
- That's incredible.
This is exactly what I'm talking about,
that we start off with a limited
idea and then mission creep sets in.
Well, what's mission creep?
SIRI: Mission creep is the gradual or...
It means in this context
that the scheme expands
into a top-down, centralised
database where the citizens lose...
No, no, Tony... Tony.
Tony, we need to give our security
agencies the tools they need.
Yeah, but we have to have the
highest level of regulatory oversight.
- We need full anonymisation.
- Well, what's anonymisation?
Anonymisation is the
type of information...
- Oh, can you just turn it off?
- Yep.
- Just off.
- Yep. It's off.
OK, Tony, I'll tell you what. I'll
take all your concerns on board.
Thank you.
You take another look
at that draft bill.
- When did it become a bill?
- We need to get our skates on.
- No, but this... We're jumping...
- Just have a look at it.
- OK, well, I'll have a look, but...
- Can I have my card?
COURTNEY: Tony? Stefan's here.
Yeah, I saw him in reception.
He's got six people with him.
Just wants five minutes.
That's 50 seconds each,
not allowing for Stefan.
- I'll put them in the boardroom.
- Please.
- Oh, and Jim's here.
- Yep, I can see.
Tell you what, this UIN thing of
yours is getting some traction.
- Yeah, it's not my thing.
- Biometrics.
- Looks like a mug shot.
- Yeah.
And check this out. A passing
police car can scan you.
Are they gonna add your DNA to it?
(QUIETLY) Did you get
the classified briefing?
No. Did you ask the
Minister about my idea?
What idea?
Setting up a fully independent
body to regulate the scheme.
Oh, a bit of pushback.
- Yeah? What did he say?
- No.
Good news, though, loves the ad!
What ad?
Access to all government
services? I'm on board.
(BEEP!)
Getting payments direct to
my account? I'm on board.
Making sure my family's protected
from online predators? I'm on board.
Keeping us safe from terrorists?
I'm definitely on board.
I'm on board.
VOICEOVER: Australia, it's time
for all of us to get on board.
- (KNOCKS) Tony.
- Yep?
- Did you hear the news?
- Is it good?
The podcast dropped last night.
- We're number four.
- Oh, well, that's... that's great.
In the building and
infrastructure category.
Still not bad for a pilot.
No, it... Sorry, what did you just say?
- Number four.
- No, before that.
- Dropped?
- No, "pilot".
- Katie? Katie, can I grab you...
- You said we could do a pilot.
Oh, no, I said that. Oh, no, no,
definitely. We pull the trigger.
Number four. Amazing! (LAUGHS)
Katie, what's the date for
the next discussion panel?
It's now an implementation authority.
Yeah, whatever. I want to
organise a special meeting.
All the department heads, minister,
chief of staff, Jim, Rhonda.
Anyone who's had anything
to do with the, uh...
- UIN.
- ..the UIN.
Yeah.
- ASH: What are we gonna do?
- We can be up front.
Just admit it was a costly mistake.
- Or...
- Sounds better.
- ..we wait.
- Yes!
- Review.
- The longitudinal study!
Gain a better perspective.
I think a better perspective.
And rather than claiming
all the credit, we share it.
Oh, yeah. Let's share. Definitely.
That still leaves us with
our friends from Peru.
- Oh. Well, we can't do a site visit.
- No.
But they've travelled
halfway around the world.
They're gonna want to
see some form of wildlife.
Who's having the wild rabbit?
Whoa! Wild rabbit!
"Ooh! Conejo salvaje!" Ha!
Tony, your very own UIN.
Oh, very citizen-centric.
So, seriously, you're supportive now?
Yeah, but I'm gonna suggest
we start with a trial.
- Done. I'm on board.
- OK.
- SCOTT: OK?
- Yep, sure.
- MINISTER: Sorry we're late.
- Oh, Minister.
- Uh, do you mind if I FaceTime this?
- No, not at all.
It's just there's a couple
of Cabinet colleagues
who want to hear the good news.
- Uh, other way round, Minister.
- Will you...?
Uh, let me begin by saying,
on reflection, I think
we should proceed.
- RHONDA: Ah. Finally!
- That's great, Tony.
I don't want to be a Luddite.
(LAUGHTER)
What's a Luddite?
SIRI: The Luddites were a
secret oath-based organisation...
But I think we should start
with a large-scale trial first.
- Like a pilot.
- Excellent. I'm on board.
- (LAUGHTER)
- Minister!
And I'm suggesting we use Canberra.
You know, opt in everybody.
Citizens, public servants,
staffers, MPs, ministers.
Cabinet ministers. You know,
get all their information.
Travel expenses, credit
cards, phone records.
Track every meeting, every arrival,
departure, dinner, free event.
You know, make it easy on you guys.
You meet with a lobbyist, whoosh!,
everything's logged immediately.
On a database. Forever.
I mean, get this card to tell
us everything we need to know.
Who's on board?
- I can't hear anything.
- Yeah, I've got nothing either.
Welcome to episode two of Talkin' NBA.
I'm joined by Natalie Russell.
So, Nat, the biotunnels.
Actually, can we stop tape?
And so that's at 10:30?
- Mm-hm.
- Mm-hm.
- Have we heard from Jim?
- He's still not speaking to you.
- Rhonda?
- Nup.
- Oh, the minister called.
- Oh, what did he want?
- I think it was a butt dial.
- Yep. OK.
- Was that a miaow?
- Something's eating something.