Upstairs, Downstairs (1971–1975): Season 5, Episode 13 - Joke Over - full transcript

After an evening of dissipated behavior and a reckless drive into the countryside, Georgina must appear at a coroner's inquest, when one of the locals is killed.

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GEORGINA: Blast and botheration,
the servants must all be in bed.

Hold on, I'll put the light on.

MAN: Oh, no, don't put
the light on.

Why don't we play murder?

Well, it's much more fun
than a scavenger hunt.

Ethel, you are my victim.

ETHEL: Oh, Peter, no.


DOLLY: Oh, no, come along
you two, no canoodling.

We've done so well,
we might as well finish it off.

Darro, Robert,
bring the loot in here.

MAN: Here's the loot.
Who has the list?

DOLLY: I have.

Now put it all down
on the carpet.

Where's the helmet?

ROBERT: Oh, I've got it.

DOLLY: Oh, dear Robert,
so proud of his contribution,

he can't bear to put it down.

Well, he was rather clever.

I say, officer, I think there's
a kitten trapped up that tree.

ROBERT: I do feel a bit guilty.

I mean, suppose that poor devil

of a constable
is still up that tree.

DARRO: I should think when you
picked up the helmet

and we all ran like hell
he began to get

a glimmering of the truth.

DOLLY: Now, war-time
ration card,

program for
the wembley Exhibition,

blue bottle.

Oh, that butcher's shop.

I shall never eat meat again.

Tram ticket courtesy of Ethel.

DARRO: Such a lucky thing
that Ethel travels by tram.

ETHEL: Oh, well,
I don't often, you know.

I just happened to have...

DOLLY: Have a tram ticket in
your handbag. Parlor maids cap.

Now, that's the last one,
that, Georgina,

you promised faithfully.

GEORGINA: Yes, I know, Dolly,

but now all the servants
are in bed.

ROBERT: Well, you can hardly
ring for the butler

and say bring me
a parlour maids cap.

Why ever not? That's exactly
what butlers are for.

DOLLY: Anyway, it is much more
amusing to do it ourselves.

Now, where do the maids live?

Up in the attic?

Yes, oh, no, no,
the parlour maid

is married to the chauffeur,
so they live in the Mews.

ROBERT: Well, do you suppose
she may have left one

lying about the kitchen
or something?

DOLLY: Let's go down to
the kitchen and find out.

Come on, everybody.

Where do we go?


I'll see
if I can find a light.

DARRO: Rather odd
of the servants

to go to bed, isn't it?

The rest of the family
are all away,

and I said I wouldn't
be back tonight.


GEORGINA: There doesn't
seem to be

a light
at the top of the stairs.

DOLLY: Hmm, they're probably

in nameless orgies
down in the nether regions.

Shall we go and join them?

ROBERT: Georgina, do be careful.
Mind the step.

GEORGINA: It's all right.

ETHEL: Oh, we're
not going down there.

Kitchens are always full
of black beetles.

Well, I'll hold you tight
and then they won't bite you.

[Ethel laughing]

Cook's cup of tea.

Come on, everybody,
search, search.

PETER: ♫ Skivvies keep
their caps, baby ♫

I've found some
aprons, hey!

Must be getting warmer.

ETHEL: They're not aprons,
they're tea towels.

How clever of you to know.

Well, they haven't
got any strings.

PETER: What's in here?



Robert, it's not going

to be in there,
put them back at once.

ROBERT: Oh, no, I'm sorry.


[Women laughing]

ETHEL: Found one!
We've found one!

PETER: ♫ Pom diddly pom pom ♫

Anyone care for a cup of tea?

Oh, Peter,
you are a scream.

Isn't he a scream?

HUDSON: What's going on in here?

GEORGINA: Oh, Hudson.

HUDSON: Miss Georgina.

GEORGINA: We um -- well, it's --
it's a scavenger hunt, you see.

We're looking for something...

Which we've just found.

We will now go upstairs
and celebrate our victory

with music, dancing,
and champagne.

I don't suppose your butler
could find us

a bottle of champagne?


Could you bring us

a bottle of champagne please,

Certainly, Miss Georgina.

DARRO: I would suggest
two bottles.

DOLLY: Yes, two bottles,
because it's a flaming victory.

Two bottles please, Hudson.

HUDSON: Yes, Miss Georgina.

ROBERT: So sorry to have
got you out of bed.

That's quite all right,
my lord.

Thank you.

[Jazz music playing]

[Music stops]

GEORGINA: Where's my glass?
Thank you, Hudson.

Don't bother to wait up, we'll
open the other bottle ourselves.

It's quite all right,
Miss Georgina.

Hudson, please go to bed.


My lord.

Robert, you have
the most sickening habit

of standing around
looking disapproving.

For goodness sake,
make yourself useful,

put another record on
or something.

Yes, of course.

What would you like?

Oh, dear, this party's suddenly
become the most awful bore.


Perhaps you're right.

I am going to the Aunt.

As long as you're not going
to see Uncle.

Uncle who?

You know, Uncle,

Where father pawns
his Sunday trousers.

Where on Earth
did Peter dig you up, hmm?

Selfridges bargain
basement I suppose.

[Music begins again]

ROBERT: I say, Miss Kent,
would you care to dance?

ETHEL: My Lord Stockbridge.

Thanks ever so.

Do you know
who Robert reminds me of?

Little Lord Fauntleroy --
all lace collars, democracy,

being polite to butlers
and dancing with shop girls.

No, I bet he calls
his mother "dearest."

I'm sure he does.

ROBERT: "Following You Around"
is a fox-trot.

GEORGINA: No, we had that one.
What's on the other side?

Oh, a lovely party.

Come on, everybody,
let us collect our treasures,

jump into our chariots
and drive down into Sussex.

No, Dolly,
let's dance some more first.

DARRO: No, I guess we should be
setting off for Adele's house,

if we're going to arrive
before everybody else leaves.

Then we can have breakfast

and declare ourselves
the winners!

Come along, Peter, you can come
in my car with Miss Surrey.


Oh, you're just like Clara Bow.

Isn't it clever of Peter
to have found you?

Look, we can all go in my car
and Darro can drive.

We drive with such panache,
Americans have such panache

in everything they do,
don't they?

And I do mean everything.

GEORGINA: Dolly, wait for me.

ROBERT: Oh, I'll bring
Georgina in my car.

DOLLY: Very well,
but don't be long

or we shall be
too late for the prize.

- ETHEL: Oh, what is the prize?
- DARRO: The prize is

that you'll never have to go on
another scavenger hunt

as long as you live.



Darro, I rather like him.

Where's my coat?

ROBERT: Oh, it's here.

I -- I wouldn't see too much
of him, if I were you.

You know why Dolly went
out of the room earlier.


Well, she went
to have a sniff.


Well, you know,
drugs, cocaine.

What rubbish.

Well, didn't you notice

how different she was
when she came back?

Dolly always has moods.

And I think it's very bad form

to criticize people
you're going around with.

Can't think why you come

if you disapprove
of everything we do.

Georgina, that's not fair.

I don't mind a bit of fun,

but when it comes
to ruining your life.

Morton asked me to take drugs
once and I wouldn't --

Well, he might have known
you wouldn't, you're so stuffy.

May I have my coat,

You haven't tried it, have you?

No, but I expect I shall.

One ought to try everything.

ROBERT: Not drugs...

Promise me that you won't.

Promise you?
Why should I promise you?

I don't even know you except
that you're an old schoolfriend

of Peter's that's always hanging
around and being a bore.

Oh, come on, we'd better go
to Adele's, if we're going.

Disaster, disaster,
my car has a puncture.

ROBERT: Can I come
and change the wheel?

DARRO: Unfortunately, Dolly had
a puncture this morning, too,

so she has no spare wheel.

ROBERT I Oh, Lord.

Well, my car's only a two seater
so it'll never take us all.

No, but Darro has had
a brilliant idea.

Did Lord Bellamy take his car?

No, they went down to wiltshire
by train.

How gorgeous,
then we can borrow it.

Georgina can hardly take
Lord Bellamy's car

Without his permission.

Robert, it is none of your
business what I do.

You don't have to do anything
daring like coming with us.

Bye bye.

Come on, everyone.

[Loud knocking and shouting]

DAISY: Eddie!

EDWARD: what?

Who's that, who is it?

GEORGINA: It's me, Edward,
Miss Georgina.

Who is it?

EDWARD: Miss Georgina,
and she's got others with her.

Quick, Daisy, in the kitchen.

DOLLY: Come along, Edward.

EDWARD: Just one moment,
Miss Georgina.

Don't put your trousers on.

Who is it?

EDWARD: Yes, just coming,
Miss Georgina.

GEORGINA: Oh, Edward,
Lady Dolly's car has had

a puncture
so we'll have to take ours.

EDWARD: Uh, yes, miss.
Well, I'll just get dressed.

GEORGINA: Oh, no, no, no,
don't bother.

We'll drive it ourselves.

If you'd just give us
the garage keys.

EDWARD: Well, excuse me,
Miss Georgina,

but I don't think his lordship
would like me --

anyone but me to drive the car.

GEORGINA: Oh, well, um...

DARRO: Then there wouldn't be
room for all of us.

GEORGINA: I suppose I could go
in Robert's car.

Oh, but it would still mean
an awful crush.

I absolutely refuse to sit with

Peter and his shopgirl
in the back seat.

DARRO: Georgina, I don't want to
be a Mr. Butt-in-sky,

but does this car
belong to your Uncle?

GEORGINA: Oh, guardian,
yes, of course it does.

Then what are we all
standing around here for?

Would you please fetch
the key to the garage?

EDWARD: Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Miss Georgina.

But his lordship's
very particular

about who drives
the car.

He doesn't like
her ladyship driving

Without me sitting
beside her.

I don't think he'd like
a stranger to drive it, really.

GEORGINA: Don't fuss, Edward,
I'll drive it myself.

EDWARD: You, Miss Georgina?

GEORGINA: Yes, I promise
faithfully that

your sacred car will be touched
by no one but myself.

That's all right, isn't it?

EDWARD: Well, yes,
I suppose so.

Well, I'll just get the car
out of the garage.

DARRO: Don't worry,
we'll see to that.

You go back to bed.

Come along, Dolly,
your chariot awaits you.

DOLLY: You're sweet.
Isn't he, Darro?

- DARRO: Yeah, very sweet.
- GEORGINA: Good night, Edward.

EDWARD: Good night, Miss.

DARRO: Are you okay?

Oh, absolutely wonderful.

Let's get the car.

Eddie, you shouldn't
have let them take it.

Well, what else
could I do, Daisy?

[Group singing]

[Group singing]

ROBERT: Georgina?

DARRO: Shouldn't we go fetch
an ambulance or something?

ROBERT: He called one
from the police station.

You know if the man is...

DARRO: Just unconscious,
I believe.

We thought
we'd better not move him.


Oh, tiresome man.

Why couldn't he look
Where he was going?

Don't let's hang around
longer than we have to.

No, darling, I quite agree.

Whole thing's
too grisly for words.

Whose car is this?

It's Lord Bellamy's car.

I borrowed it.

I see.

Does his lordship know
you borrowed it?



Has something happened?

I'm afraid we were asleep.

Miss Georgina home yet?

HUDSON: Yes, my lord.

Lord Stockbridge drove her home
this morning.

She went straight to bed.

VIRGINIA: She wasn't hurt?

Oh, no, my lady, only shaken.

RICHARD: Where's the car?

HUDSON: In Sussex, my lord.

I understand that
the police wanted it

to remain there
for the time being.

RICHARD: Why wasn't Edward

Send him to me
in the morning room, at once!

Yes, my lord.

I'll go and take my hat off
and look in on Georgina,

see if she's asleep.

Oh, Ruby, have you seen my cap?

RUBY: Your cap, Daisy?

DAISY: Hmm, I left it
on my work basket.

RUBY: Oh, Mr. Hudson said
ladies and gentlemen

took it last night.

DAISY: They what?

Well, my other one's dirty.

How am I going to serve tea?

Edward, his lordship wants to
see you in the morning room.

Here we go.

RICHARD: Come in.

Have you any explanation
for what happened last night?

EDWARD: Er, no, my lord.

Well, I understand Miss Georgina
was driving the car.

That is exactly
what I am asking.

Why was Miss Georgina
driving the car?

Why were you not driving it?

EDWARD: Oh, well, my lord,
Miss Georgina and her friends

came along to the Mews
and asked me for the car.

RICHARD: They came to the Mews?
Did you not answer the bell?

EDWARD: I don't think they rang
the bell, my lord.

It was 3:00 in the morning.
Daisy and I were...

It makes not the slightest

what time it was --
you are the chauffeur

and driving that car's the main
part of your duties.

I'm very disappointed
in you, Edward.

That car was left in your care

and you have
betrayed your trust.

I'm afraid I shall have to
consult with Major Bellamy

and consider very seriously
your position in this household

and whether we wish to retain
your services.

Have you anything more to say?

surely you should be in bed.

I was going to suggest
we sent for the doctor.

Oh, no, no, I--
I really don't need a doctor.

I couldn't sleep anyway.

I'm dying for tea.

Do you think that we could have
tea early today?

This is not the time
to think about tea.

We'll have it when
Geoffrey Dillon arrives.

All right, Edward,
I'll see you later.

EDWARD: Yes, my lord.

DAISY: Is it the fruit cake
for upstairs, Mrs. Bridges?

No, Daisy, the cherry.


Miss Georgina's favourite.

Perhaps it will
cheer her up a bit.

DAISY: I think
she's still in bed.

Eddie, is Miss Georgina
down yet?


DAISY: Oh, good.

How does she seem, Edward?

EDWARD: All right.

Oh, Sir Geoffrey Dillon
will be here shortly.

Oh, now, what a lucky thing
I made them scones.

Particular favourite of his.

Ruby, have you lighted
that oven?

Yes, Mrs. Bridges.

Sir Geoffrey coming
about the accident, is he?

Yeah, I suppose so.

So long as
they don't blame you, eh.

I get the blame
for everything in this house!

Didn't you know that?

Come along, Ruby.

Open up that oven.

That's right.

Sir Geoffrey Dillon, my lady.

RICHARD: Hello, Geoffrey,
do come in.

GEOFFREY: Richard.
Lady Bellamy.

VIRGINIA: Good afternoon,
Sir Geoffrey.

We'll have tea at once,
thank you, Hudson.

HUDSON: Yes, my lady.

GEOFFREY: Good afternoon,
Miss Worsley.

I'm afraid I have
some bad news.

The man?

He died two hours ago.

Oh, no.

GEOFFREY: There'll be
an inquest, of course.

I won't have to go, will I?

I'm afraid you will.

RICHARD: Geoffrey, do sit down.

GEOFFREY: Thank you.

I gather you went to the police
station after the accident

and that you all made

GEORGINA: Yes, I think so.

What exactly did you say?

I'm not sure.

Georgina, you must know
what you told them.

I -- I imagine she was in
a state of shock.

Now, you were driving the car?


RICHARD: I didn't know
you could drive.

Well, I'd watched Edward
and I --

I'd driven friends' cars
once or twice.

Well, Darro was sitting
beside me.

Mr. Darro Morton?


Oh, he's an American friend
of Dolly Hale's.

Clearly his evidence will be
absolutely vital.

Well, he -- he said just

that there was nothing more
I could've done.

Did he make a statement
to that effect to the police?

I don't know.

Now, what exactly did happen?

Well, I'm not absolutely


My dear, you were driving
the car when this man

got knocked over.

You must have some idea
of what happened.

We'd had quite a lot
of champagne.

We'd been up all night rushing
about on this scavenger hunt.

We were just going along
a country road, not very fast,

laughing and joking,
and then suddenly this man

appeared on a bicycle
right in front of the car.

If you want to know,

I really don't remember
much more about it.

VIRGINIA: That's all right,
thank you, Hudson.

HUDSON: Yes, my lady.

RICHARD: Where was
Lady Dolly sitting?

In front next to Darro.

But I'm sure she doesn't
remember much about it.

She kept waving a policeman's
helmet out of the window.

Georgina, this is not
a laughing matter.

HUDSON: Daisy, I rely upon you
not to repeat to anyone

anything which we may hear
while we're waiting upstairs.

Is that understood?

DAISY: Yes, Mr. Hudson.

GEOFFREY: Thank you.

Oh, Robert Stockbridge
was there.

What, in the car?

GEORGINA: No, he was driving
along behind.

Oh, but he might have seen

I'm almost sure he did.

The Marquis of Stockbridge?


RICHARD: Geoffrey, you will
represent us at the inquest?

GEOFFREY: Yes, certainly.

Surely a coroner's inquest

is quite informal, just to
decide the cause of death?

Yes. These scones are really
delicious, Lady Bellamy.

I believe I can't resist
venturing on another.

DAISY: Eddie!

You coming to have some tea?

EDWARD: Oh, it's not
time yet is it?

DAISY: Hmm, they're waiting
on themselves upstairs,

so Mr. Hudson said we
might as well have it prompt.

What are you doing?

Oh, not another winner that
can't lose only it always does.

EDWARD: Situations Vacant.

DAISY: Oh, Eddie,
his lordship didn't...

EDWARD: His lordship said
he was thinking about it.

I might beat him to it.

May I speak to
Lady Dolly Hale please?

Miss Worsley.

Oh, I see.

I did ring yesterday
and I asked her to ring me back.

Well, do you know
when she will be back?

Out of London.

Do you know
Where I can reach her?

Yes, I see.

Well, thank you very much.

HUDSON: Oh, here we are.

Third class fare
to East Grinstead.

Then you will take the bus
to Little Parham, P-A-R-H-A-M,

and collect the motorcar
at the police station.

EDWARD: Yes, Mr. Hudson.

HUDSON: Oh, here's a --
a shilling.

You can get yourself
a piece of bread and cheese

and half a pint of light ale

at the public house
before returning.

No more, mind.

EDWARD: No, Mr. Hudson.

HUDSON: Edward...

I've -- I've been meaning to
speak to you for a day or two.

From what I hear
it would appear that

you were entirely blameless
in the matter of Miss Georgina

and her friends taking
the motorcar.

EDWARD: Well, his lordship
didn't seem to think so.

HUDSON: Ah, well, his lordship
was naturally upset.

You know, Edward,
being in service is not unlike

being in the army.

Our masters, like the officers,
are not always right,

and sometimes
blame us for things

which are not our fault.

But we are not expected
to answer back

or to bear any grudges,
because those are

the terms we accept
when we enter service.

Maybe that's why I didn't like
being in the army.

Well, a man's got his
self-respect, Mr. Hudson.

I don't reckon he's anything
Without that.

Peter, I'm so glad to see you.

I've been trying to get in touch
with Dolly Hale.

She seems
to be away somewhere.

Yes, I -- I haven't seen her
since the um...

Come and sit down.
I'll get some cocktails.

Well, no, I can't stay,
actually, I've just called by

to wish you luck
at the inquest tomorrow.

Oh, but I'll see you there,
won't I?

You and Ethel.

PETER: Well, no,
they haven't called me.

Well, they've got my statement.

You see I -- well, we --
we didn't see anything.

But at least you could say that
I wasn't driving very fast.

PETER: Well, I --
I really don't remember

much about it, actually.

I was rather squiffy
at the time and --

Well, look here, Georgina,
I'm awfully sorry,

but I'd really rather
not give evidence,

I mean, unless I have to.

And Ethel's an awfully decent
sort and all that,

but I mean, if it all came out

about who I was with
that night.

Well, my father does get really
rather ratty

about what he calls
unsuitable girls.

And being on allowance
does make it dashed awkward.

So I'd much rather
he didn't know.

About Ethel?

Yes, I told the local
Constabulary that we were

asleep in the back of the car
and we didn't see anything,

and they seemed quite happy.

So I thought I wouldn't turn up
tomorrow, don't you know.

Yes, I see.

Awfully sorry and all that.

Oh, no, I quite understand.

Jolly good.

Miss Georgina's breakfast tray?

DAISY: Hmm, she hasn't had
nothing but a cup of coffee.

Still she was never much good

at getting up early
in the morning.

HUDSON: Edward, you'd better
bring the car round.

They'll want to be leaving
almost at once.

MRS. BRIDGES: I don't know why
they want to have it down there.

Why can't they have it
up in London?

HUDSON: They always hold
a coroner's inquest

in the vicinity of the fatality,
Mrs. Bridges.

MRS. BRIDGES: I don't know why
they want to hold it at all.

They know that he died
in a motorcar accident.

But the jury still have to bring
in a verdict to that effect.

RUBY: Do they have a jury,
just like a murder trial?


Put those plates in the sink
before you break them.

Geoffrey Dillon
is meeting us there.

I hope we shall have
a few moments

to talk to him beforehand.

VIRGINIA: I don't know anything
about the procedure, do you?

RICHARD: No, not really.
I think it's quite informal.

Well, I -- I thought
as I'm appearing in public

I'd better dress up a little.

Yes, but...

Darling, you look lovely.

The only thing is it's --

it's only going to be held
in the village school room.

Do you think that that
hat might be...

Well, it's the only
black one I've got.

Well, look, I tell you what,
what about that

gray one you have with
the gray dress with the...

The one that James says makes me
look like a governess?

Yes, all right,
if you think so.

I'll go and change.

[Door closes]

I don't think she realizes what
a serious situation she's in.

Oh, I'll keep my hat,
I shall only be a moment.

HUDSON: Very good, sir.

HUDSON: Sir Geoffrey Dillon,
My Lord.

Oh, Geoffrey,
I thought we were meeting --

GEOFFREY: I wanted to have
a word with you first.

Lady Bellamy.

I thought you ought to know
that Lord Stockbridge

will not
be giving evidence.

But he must.

Have you spoken to him?

GEOFFREY: No, I haven't spoken
to Lord Stockbridge himself,

I gather he's down
in the country.

But I have had a word with
the Buckminster solicitor,

Sir Duncan Crane,

and he tells me
the Duke is most anxious

that his son
should not appear.

But, Geoffrey, you are
representing us,

surely you could have asked
for him to be called.

GEOFFREY: I could certainly,
but I understand

the Duke has had a word
with the Chief Constable

pointing out that
Lord Stockbridge was not there

when the accident occurred,

that he was not involved
in any way.

So that a summons for him
to appear has not been served.

In the circumstances,

I felt it would be unwise
for me to intervene.

I shouldn't worry too much.

It's only an inquest after all.

It'll attract a good deal less
publicity without the unwelcome

notoriety of a Duke's eldest son
giving evidence.

You do think the verdict will be
accidental death?

Oh, I imagine so.

Not manslaughter?

If the verdict is not

the police could
bring a charge of manslaughter.


Are you coming in our car?

GEOFFREY: Ah, no, thank you,
I have my own car.

I'll see you down there.

Why -- why on Earth...

My dear, I have lived
long enough to recognize

a deal when I see it.

Or perhaps I should say
when I smell it.

In this case a deal
between two solicitors.

One might as well try
to break an agreement

between a couple of
horse dealers to...

VIRGINIA: To cheat a customer.


VIRGINIA: But surely there's
something we can do.

if we'd known earlier.

But it's too late now.

CORONER: You are

Mrs. Annie Elsie Smith?

And you live at Blackbush
Cottages, Little Parham?


CORONER: You have identified
your husband

Alfred Henry Smith
who lived at the same address?

[Annie crying]

CORONER: I don't want to upset
you, Mrs. Smith.

But there are one or two
questions I must ask you.

Would you like a little time
to collect yourself?

ANNIE: No, sir,
I'm sorry, sir.

That's quite all right...

Your husband worked as
a Cowman at Penfold Farm?

ANNIE: Yes, sir.

When did you last see him?

Well, he always did go off to
Penfold, sir, every morning,

to fetch the cows in
for milking.

So he'd set his alarm clock
and he put it on a biscuit tin,

sir, because he was
a very sound sleeper.

And he'd get up
and he'd go downstairs

and get the fire going,

and he'd make himself
a cup of tea

and he'd bring me one upstairs.

CORONER: Did he indeed?

So this particular morning.

CORONER: Last Tuesday?

ANNIE: Yes, sir.

Well, he brought me my cup of
tea as usual and he said,

it's lamentable cold,

but I reckon it'll be
a pretty day later.

And he says cheerio
and he goes out

and I hears him go downstairs,

quietly, you know, so as
not to wake the children.

Then we hears the latch of
the kitchen door

close behind him
and I never see him again.

CORONER: Thank you.

[Crowd murmuring]

I don't think we need
trouble you any more.


If I may ask one or two

Mrs. Smith, you've said that
your husband

was a sound sleeper.

Did he oversleep on that
particular morning?

ANNIE: Not as you'd say
oversleep, sir.

I heard the alarm go
and I didn't hear him stirring.

So I says, "Alfie,
did you hear the alarm, then?"

And he says, "Oh, damn,"
he said -- oh, I'm sorry, sir.

He says, "I must've
slept through it."

And with that, up he gets.

So he did oversleep?

But only by a minute or two,
sir, he weren't late for work.

He weren't never late for work,

not in all the days
since we was married.

Mr. Penfold will bear me out
on that.

CORONER: I really don't see
Where this is leading.

GEOFFREY: I was merely trying
to establish whether perhaps

Mr. Smith was conscious
of being later than usual

and was endeavouring to hurry,

or perhaps not riding with quite
his usual attention.

CORONER: Mrs. Smith,
did your husband ride

a modern high speed bicycle?

ANNIE: No, sir.
He had an old iron one.

It used to belong to my father,

but when he died.
my husband took it on.

It was an old bone shaker?

ANNIE: Yes, sir.

CORONER: Very well, Mrs. Smith,
we needn't trouble you any more.

GEOFFREY: Excuse me.

CORONER: Yes, Mr. Dillon?
Sir Geoffrey.

GEOFFREY: Mrs. Smith, the bone
shaker bicycle was an old one?

ANNIE: Yes sir.

Quite an old friend,
he used to say.

GEOFFREY: Do you know
when your husband

last had the brakes
attended to?

Oh, well, I don't know.

See he used to tinker
with it himself now and then.

GEOFFREY: Did the bicycle in
fact have any working brakes?

ANNIE: what?

Did the brakes work?

Oh, well, he -- he did used to
say they weren't too good.

But they did all right
for round here.

Yes, quite.
Thank you.

[Crowd murmuring]

Thank you, Mrs. Smith.

We won't trouble you any more.

Perhaps, I should just add that
the court deeply sympathizes

with you in the loss of
a good and devoted husband.

ANNIE: Thank you, sir.

Police Constable Burridge.

DOLLY: If only he'd heard
the alarm in the first place

the whole thing would never
even have happened.

BURRIDGE: I swear by Almighty
God that the evidence

I shall give shall be the truth,

the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

CORONER: You are Samuel Burridge

and you live at Police House,
Little Parham?

BURRIDGE: Yes, sir.

CORONER: Perhaps you would
describe to us what you saw

when you arrived upon the scene
of the accident.

BURRIDGE: I was informed that
there had been an accident

on the Pennyfield Road.

I proceeded there at 6:00 AM on
Tuesday the 24th of this month

and at the bottom of the hill

known as Carter's Rise
I observed a stationary

Rolls Royce with a bicycle
under its front wheels.

Six feet away Mr. Smith was
lying face downward on the road.

CORONER: He was not dead?

BURRIDGE: No, sir,
he was unconscious

and he had a cut
on his head.

I had already telephoned
for an ambulance,

which arrived and removed
Mr. Smith to hospital.

I understand he died
shortly afterwards.


ls there something
you want to ask?

JUROR: We was wondering
how the constable

learned of the accident.

There can't be a telephone near.

I hardly think that's relevant.

The important thing is that
there was no delay,

either in notifying you or in
your summoning the ambulance.

BURRIDGE: No, sir.

CORONER: Now you say
in your statement

that you'd already
noticed this car.

Why was that?

It was driving through
the village

at a high speed
and there was a woman

leaning out of the window
waving a helmet.

CORONER: A helmet?

BURRIDGE: Policeman's helmet.

CORONER: Did you recognize
the person waving the helmet?

Not at first, sir,
but later I discovered

it was that lady there,
Lady Dorothy Hale.

They was all laughing
and shouting.

I reckon they was drunk.

CORONER: And it was this car
which shortly afterwards

was involved in the accident
which killed Mr. Smith?

BURRIDGE: Yes, sir.

CORONER: Any more questions?
Sir Geoffrey?

GEOFFREY: Thank you.

Constable, we've heard from
Mrs. Smith that her husband

was bicycling to work
at Penfolds Farm.

Now, he would have bicycled
up Blackbush Lane

towards the highway,
is that correct?

BURRIDGE: Yes, sir.

GEOFFREY: And then in order
to reach the farm

he'd have had to travel
right across the highway

and into Penfold Lane?

BURRIDGE: Yes, sir.

GEOFFREY: Was there much traffic
on the road?

Hardly any at all, sir,

least of all not that time
of the morning.

So that Mr. Smith would not have

been expecting
a car to come along?

BURRIDGE: No, sir.

GEOFFREY: Now, anyone traveling
in a car

would not be able to see
the crossroads

from the other side of the hill
known as Carter's Rise?

Not 'til they get
to the top of the rise.

GEOFFREY: So we can imagine
Mr. Smith on his old

bone shaker bicycle on which
it's very difficult to stop,

to turn or to increase speed
in an emergency,

riding right out onto
the highway in the path of a car

which would have had no warning
of his presence

until he emerged.

That is pure supposition,
Sir Geoffrey.

But it is a supposition that
it's very reasonable to make.

Now, you have said
that you reckoned

the occupants of
the car were drunk.

Did you have the impression that
they were in high spirits?

Very high spirits.

Would you not agree that
what you observed

could have been normal
high spirits

of innocent people enjoying
a country outing?

CORONER: Come, come,
Sir Geoffrey,

I think the Constable is as
capable as the rest of us

of judging whether or not
a group of people are drunk.

HUDSON: Ah, making a pie for our
dinner, Mrs. Bridges?

MRS. BRIDGES: Yes, Mr. Hudson.
A nice rhubarb.

Well, I thought with nobody
in for luncheon upstairs,

we might as well
all have time to enjoy it.

DAISY: Well, I'm sure I shan't
be able to eat a bite.

Has the inquest started yet,
Mr. Hudson?

HUDSON: Oh, yes, Mrs. Bridges.
It started at 10:00.

It'll be
almost finished by now.

I was just driving along.

I was just driving along.

Laughing and shouting?

Sir, I really must protest.

You were in high spirits?

Yes, well, we had
been to a party.

CORONER: Quite so.

But I wasn't driving very fast.

At what speed do you say you
were traveling?

Well, I -- I'm not sure exactly,
but not fast.

Then suddenly this man came out
of a side turning,

right in front of the car.

I put the brakes on but...

I have nothing more to ask --
unless the jury...

We'd like to ask
the young lady if she thinks

it's right that a decent working
man going about his business

should be knocked down
and killed by a lot of

titled people driving around
the countryside

because they've got nothing
better to do.

CORONER: I sympathize with the
feeling behind that question,

but I'm afraid I cannot
allow you to ask it.

[Crowd murmuring]

CORONER: That's all.
You may sit down.

GEORGINA: Thank you.

CORONER: Mr. Darro Morton.

- He's not here, sir.
- what?

CLERK: He's not here.

- was a summons sent to him?
- Yes, sir.

Does anyone know
the whereabouts of Mr. Morton?

Oh, yes, unfortunately he had to
go back to America,

he was so sorry
he couldn't be here.

Well, Lady Dorothy Hale.

- Hmm?
- Lady Dorothy Hale.

DOLLY: Oh, yes, of course.

I'm only too pleased.

BURRIDGE: Take the book
in your right hand.

Repeat the words on the card.

DOLLY: Oh, goodness,
which is my right?


I swear by Almighty God that
the evidence I shall give shall

be the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

Ooh, it's too thrilling.

I've always wanted to say that.

Your name is Lady Dorothy
Beatrice Louisa Hale?


CORONER: And you live at
28 Heyhill, Mayfair, London.

DOLLY: Absolutely right.

CORONER: Now, you were traveling
in this car and you were...

Why were you waving a police
helmet out of the window?

My dear man,
it was a scavenger hunt.


DOLLY: Well, you know,
surely you've been on one

at some time or another.

Well, anyway, you have to
collect objects like a --

like a parlour maid's cap
or a used railway ticket

to woking
or a policeman's helmet

and you -- you take them
somewhere, well, in this case

it was to the house of a friend
of mine in Sussex, Lady Cairns.

Well, she's a charming woman,
do you know her?

Well, anyway,
the first people to arrive

with all the objects
get a prize.

It is not the business
of this court to comment on

an amusement which in another
Walk of life

would be considered thieving
and punished accordingly.

[Crowd murmuring]

In any event,
you were traveling

in the front seat
of this car.

So perhaps you will tell us
how the accident occurred.

My dear man,
I really don't know.

You must not call me...

You don't know?

Well, I know we were driving
down a country road

and we came down
this little hill

and then suddenly
there was this --

this poor man on a bicycle
right in front of the car.

Really it was too unfortunate.

That's all I can tell you.

Lady Dorothy,
at what speed would you say

the car was traveling?

Oh, not very fast, I'm sure.

Because Georgina wasn't
a terribly experienced driver

and she'd never driven
that car before.

GEOFFREY: But you did see

Mr. Smith ride right out
in front of the car?

Oh, yes, well, at least I --
I think so, but, well, you know

what with the champagne
and one thing and another

I'm not really absolutely
certain what happened.

But I mean, it was just
nobody's fault,

it was one of those
unfortunate things.

Is that all?


Thank you.

DOLLY: Not at all.

That concludes the evidence.

Clearly Mr. Smith died
as a result of a collision

with a car driven
by Miss Georgina Worsley.

It is for you to decide...

BURRIDGE: A gentleman
would like to see you.

May I ask what is happening?

Would you be good enough to
excuse me for just one moment?

ROBERT: I want to give...

GEOFFREY: But this is absolutely
out of the question.

Your father was most insistent.
I promised him...

ROBERT: I'm sorry, I don't care
what you promised.

I saw the accident.

Who is that?

BURRIDGE: It's the gentleman who
fetched me to the accident, sir.

CORONER: what?

The Marquis of Stockbridge.

[Crowd murmuring]

I would like
to give evidence please.

CORONER: No, we've finished
the hearing.

That's not necessary at all.

ROBERT: I'm sorry.
I was driving behind the car.

I saw this accident.

If I thought
your evidence was necessary

I would have called you.

Oh, very well, Lord Stookbridge.

BURRIDGE: Come over here please.

Take the book
in your right hand,

repeat the words on the card.

ROBERT: I swear by Almighty God
that the evidence

I shall give shall be the truth,
the whole truth

and nothing but the truth.

Please give your full name.

ROBERT: Robert Charles Algernon
St. John Stockbridge.

CORONER: Perhaps you tell us
what you know of this affair?


I was driving behind
Miss Worsley's car.

I reached the top of the hill
and I saw her traveling down

the other side at about
30 miles an hour.

I know it was that speed
because I'd just glanced

at my speedometer
and I continued to travel

at the same distance
behind her.

I then saw a man on a bicycle

come straight out in front of
the car from a side turning.

There was nothing anyone
could have done.

The verdict
was accidental death.

Oh, Mr. Hudson what a relief.

DAISY: Well, fancy the paper
getting it in so soon.

HUDSON: Oh, I imagine they had
a journalist in court

and he telephoned the verdict
through to London.

Is there something else,
Mr. Hudson?

Coroner rebukes
bright young people.

Minister's ward in fatal crash.

Is that Miss Georgina?

Oh, be quiet, Ruby.

What else does it say,
Mr. Hudson?

Although the jury brought in
a verdict of accidental death,

the foreman said they wished to
add a rider to the effect

that the irresponsible behaviour
of Miss Worsley and her friends

had been a contributory factor
in this man's death.

And they wished to express
deep sympathy

to his widow
and fatherless children.

Oh, dear.

Poor Miss Georgina,
how must she be feeling?


Virginia's taking a little nap.

Why don't you do the same?

Then I thought perhaps we might
all go out.

GEORGINA: For a celebration?

RICHARD: No, just a quiet dinner
to take your mind off it.

GEORGINA: I don't want to go out
anywhere ever again.

Eddie, you never came in.

Tea's nearly ready.
It's haddock.

Eddie, what are you doing?

I'm putting my things away
and giving in my notice.

Eddie, whatever happened today?

Nothing happened to me today,

I was left outside
looking after the car.

It's what happened
last week, though.

DAISY: Oh, you mean
his lordship didn't...

EDWARD: Yeah, I've always been
second best in this house.

- DAISY: Not to me, you haven't.

Well, there were times
when Frederick

was here
I began to wonder.

DAISY: Edward!

Well, anyway,
that's not the point.

I mean when his lordship
would talk to me about

giving me the sack
after the years of service

I've given here and not
giving me a chance

of defending myself,
well, I've had enough.

I was just waiting 'til today
was over, that's all.

What about me?

EDWARD: Oh, you can stop on here
if you want.

DAISY: Oh, thanks very much.

Well, look, you can go back
to your old room in the house,

and I'll go to me mum's
'til I find another place.

Eddie, look, I know
he's hurt your feelings...

Yes, he has!

Well, you must do
what you thinks right.

Thanks, Daisy.

[Bell rings]

Well, they want you
over in the house.

Yeah, I suppose they're going
out to dinner.

Well, get it over with now,
I suppose.

Eddie, I've never seen you
like this before.

Oh, it's been building up
for a long time, Daisy,

and this time I mean it.

Oh, come in, Edward,
shut the door.

EDWARD: Yes, my lord.

Miss Georgina has asked me
to speak to you.

I was going to do so
in any event.

I understand from Miss Georgina
that you did everything

you could to prevent
the car being taken

Without you
on Tuesday night.

From what I hear you were placed
in a very difficult position,

and I'm only sorry that when
I spoke to you about it,

I didn't give you
a chance to explain.

I know that Miss Georgina
would be very upset

after all that has happened,
if she felt that you had reason

to feel you were being ill used.

I'm sure you wouldn't want
to distress her any more.

No, my lord.

So I hope you'll accept
my apology, and hers.

Oh, his lordship apologized.

Well, it's all right then
isn't it?

Yes, I suppose so.

Well, what do you mean
you suppose so?

What more do you want?

Well, it's not like
the old days, is it?

What do you mean?

Lady Marjorie
would never have apologized.

Oh, come on,
come and have some tea.

I don't like haddock.

DAISY: Oh, Eddie.

HUDSON: Lord Stockbridge,
Miss Georgina.


ROBERT: I do hope you don't mind
my coming.

GEORGINA: No, of course not.

ROBERT: I -- I really came
to say how sorry I am

you had such
a rotten time yesterday.

GEORGINA: Yes, well,
it would have been much worse

if you hadn't been there.

ROBERT: Oh, no.

If I see that
swine Morton again,

I'll break his neck.

He's hardly worth it, is he?

I suppose not.

Oh, I had a letter
from Dolly this morning,

asking me to a party just
as if nothing had happened.

I suppose as
it's the only invitation

I've had I really
ought to accept it.

Will you?

I'm sorry.
None of my business.

No, of course I won't.

I never want to see her again.

Oh, please sit down...

Robert, you knew
what they were like.

Why did you
go around with them?

Oh, I -- I don't know.

It's so stupid
being heir to a Dukedom.

Like making a profession
out of being a dodo.

If my father had manufactured
gas piping like Peter Demuth's

I might have felt it was much
more worthwhile

learning the business.

As it is I --

well, I don't really know why
I went round with them.

Perhaps because I had nothing
better to do.

Is that what life is all about,
doing stupid things

because we've nothing
better to do?

ROBERT: Oh, no, of course not.

We'll find something better
to do, I promise you.

I'm afraid your parents
must have been

terribly upset about
your coming to court yesterday.

Yes, they were of course.

But it couldn't be helped.

Oh, I know one is supposed
to say that one's parents

are all rot and it doesn't
really matter what they think,

but my mother and father
have been so decent to me

it does seem rather caddish

to upset them if one
doesn't really have to.

GEORGINA: But you still came.

ROBERT: Yes, of course.

You didn't really think
I wouldn't.

I don't think I knew you
very well before yesterday.

I wondered if you'd like
to come out to lunch.

No, I don't think...

Oh, go on.
We can brave it out together.

Shall we do it properly?

The Savoy Grill?

Yes, let's.
I'll get my hat.



Oh, that poor man on his bike.

And the children.

ROBERT: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Why -- why did you follow us,

ROBERT: I was worried
about you.

GEORGINA: I'm glad you were.

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