Upload (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - The Outing - full transcript

I always felt lucky
I outlived you,

but maybe I should be jealous.

You have quite the spread here.

Well,
you're the older brother now,

so that's some consolation.

So, to what do I owe this visit?

The board is voting today.
Want to give me your proxy?

I'll cast my own vote, thanks.

You know the rules.

You have to be there in person.

Oh, I intend to be.



Father always said to check up
on important things yourself.

Well, not that
I don't trust you,

but Father also said
not to trust you.

David Choak is
downloading off the system

to Baskin Robots in Manhattan.

2552 West 43rd Street,

New York City, 10036.

Call Nathan.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Um, hey, what are you
up to today?

Not much.

Uh, want to go
on a field trip with me?

To New York City?

Yes. Yeah... I mean,
you know, if you want.



It'd be cool.

Also, how exactly
would I do that?

Uh, you would buy

a Reality Private Tour
and ask for me as your guide.

It's just one long
FaceTime call,

uh, but it's fun, and, um,
I-I could, I could use a break.

Yeah, I could use
a little vacation, too.

Your life is a vacation.

I know, and it's exhausting.

I could use a vacation from it.

You want to take a day trip
to Manhattan?

Oh, hell yeah.

I've always wanted
to see the infamous Bean.

That's Chicago.

Then the, uh, bridge.

- Which one?
- Hamilton?

Close enough.

Yeah, this is gonna be great.
The girls will be pumped.

Girls?

Really?
I'm Papoose-loading Luke?

I thought you'd be happy.

Oh, wait,
is it weird now between you guys

'cause of the whole
sex dream thing?

Uh, nuh-uh. I do not do weird.

Hi.

Hola.

Uh, surf's up, dude.

What the fuck?

All right, let's go.

Check this out.

Help us!

They're kidnapping us!

- Somebody!
- Help!

You know we can mute these fools
at any time.

Aleesha, don't forget to buy
your chlamydia pill.

I'm clean, y'all.

Coming.

Oh, if this is
a singing telegram,

I'm not interested.

Oh, Ms. Kannerman, we're here
for an in-home inspection.

For what? Oh, bugs?

Are you still interested
in a digital baby?

If so, then we need
to look around and make sure

you can properly care for one.

If not, and I feel like
that would be a good call,

we'll be out of your hair.

Uh, why would that be
a good call?

You set the record
for the practice AI.

Birth to death
in under 24 hours.

What were you doing with it?

- Excuse me?
- Ms. Kannerman

tried her best, and babies
can be very demanding.

And I can imagine, uh,
it can be really frustrating

to deal with demanding, entitled
babies all day, every day.

Okay, okay, I am sorry,
but how is it

that you three
are fit to judge me?

The-the brainless scarecrow,

the tin man and...

and the cowardly incel?

- Am I the incel?
- Well...

I think that what

she meant to say was that

you're single
and, um, and lonely.

Which,
so am I, so big deal.

- Sure.
- - I, too, am programmed for celibacy.

I am not programmed
for celibacy!

- Okay.
- Don't touch me!

- Sorry.
- I'm in a relationship.

Ms. Kannerman,
we have to grade you

on a sliding scale
of six characteristics

to determine
if you'll be a good mom.

And... Oh!
Look at the first one.

"Kindness."

Zero.

Okay, uh, you know what?

Why don't you come on in? Okay?

- Oh.
- And you can help yourself
to the bar.

- Oh, thank you.
- You make yourselves at home.

All right?

Upload and beyond
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Upload and beyond for free.

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No sitting,
I want to look out the window.

Where are we going?
Is there a plan?

Yeah, yeah,
I was thinking we could start

at, um, 43rd and 11th.

Hell's Kitchen?

Look, we'll just get all the
touristy stuff out of the way.

I got food poisoning
from that place. Twice.

Next stop,
the Brooklyn Bridge.

Aleesha, turn towards
the window, I want to see it.

Oh, wait, Aleesha. Oh, oh.

You see?
You happy now?

#RobotofGreed spotted
in Midtown Manhattan.

What an asshole.

Nora, what's going on?

Can, uh, can Luke hear us?

No, he has other things
on his mind.

So, Choak downloaded
into a robot body this morning.

I think he may be
up to something.

And I may have posted
#RobotofGreed,

which is now trending,
so we can follow him all day.

Oh, my God, I love you.

Yeah, I know.

I heard your thoughts
with MindFrisk, remember?

- Uh, no, that-that was from...
- No, I know.

- I'm not hitting on you.
- Oh, I-I know. I-I didn't,

- I didn't think you...
- I just mean that
you're brilliant.

We can finally follow
this old fuck

and find out
why he had me killed.

Uh, change of plans.

Look, we-we're gonna get off
at the next stop.

What's at the next stop?

Oh, uh, well, Nathan
wanted to see Choak Tower

- for some reason.
- Uh...

yeah, yep. Yeah, you know, uh,

he asked me to check in on it.

You know? Give it a little peek.

A boo. A peekaboo.

Someone else talk.

Wow.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

You could drown
in all these clothes.

I like shoes, okay?

What's it like to feel
your body in silk and cashmere?

What's it like to feel
your body?

- What's it like to feel?
- Oh, my God, okay.

So, I'm sorry, what is this
stage of the adoption process

where you-you touch
all of my belongings?

This is the personal vanity
sliding scale.

On one end
we have "materialistic"

and on the other
we have "compassionate."

Well, that's not fair.

You can be compassionate
and materialistic.

So what if I love shoes
more than anything?

If I love a child half as much,
that's still a lot of love.

I'm gonna give you a one.

- Out of two?
- Out of ten.

What?

- Oh...
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, honey.
- Can someone...?

Oh, no, no, no...
No.

Well, this is humble.

I expected no less.

Boring.

No, no, no, no. This is...

This is super cool.
I mean, it's not every day

that you're neighbors with a guy
who owns his own building.

I had to come
check it out, really.

And I also

lost my virginity here, so...

Okay. Weird.

Next stop,
Empire State Building, huh?

Aleesha, giddyap.

This is the longest day
of my life.

Wait.

Freeyond? In Choak's tower?

That's fucking ironic.

I mean, do you think
it's a coincidence?

It's Choak's tower. Why would
he be leasing space to Freeyond?

Good optics, maybe?

You know, makes him
look like a good guy

to have a cool nonprofit
in his building?

Right, what if Kannerman
and Choak bought your code

and then sold it to Freeyond?

- I mean, they're so similar.
- Doesn't make sense, though.

Freeyond doesn't have the money
to buy anything.

What if they gave them the code?

Then why have me murdered?
To cover up their one good deed?

Yo, the observation deck

at the Empire State Building
is 150 bucks per person.

- Nuh-uh.
- But it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Or in your case,
a never-in-a-lifetime thing.

Ouch. Rub it in, why don't you?

Aleesha, jump up on that bench,
be the Jack to my Rose.

Uh, I'm good.

Come on, just hold me up,
over the prow.

Oh!

I'm flying, Jack. I'm flying.

I'll never let go, Jack.

No. No, no, no, I'm Rose.

You're dead. You got to be Jack.

Hey, get down from there!
This ain't a damn playground!

Shit.

Well, he's headed to...

Uh, hey, hey, guys,
let's go to the High Line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the High Line. Oh.

Love a good stroll.
It's a great stroll.

Awesome stroll. You guys
want to go for a stroll?

I'm hungry and my feet hurt.

- Let's sit and eat.
- Yeah.

Let's stroll.
I love a good stroll.

Down to stroll.

Come on.

What are you doing in NYC?
You're dead.

Oh.

Oh, hey, Jerry.

You left your shampoo and
conditioner by the sink again.

Everything okay at home?

If everything was okay at home,

I wouldn't be conditioning
my balls in the work sink.

Jesus Christ,
I just washed my face there.

That's really
fucking disturbing.

It's not pleasant,
but it's not corpsey.

You must have smelled a number
of corpses in your line of work.

What's your opinion?

No.

Thank you.

Ingrid?

"Ability to nurture."

Hmm.

Half a point.

Oh, God.

Oh, see, that's a nice smile.

That wouldn't make me
uncomfortable if I was a baby.

Hello?

Looks like she's having
some me time and ignoring us.

Amazing.
So much privilege.

All right,
come on.

Out of the tub.

You can't tell me what to do.

I'm a grown woman.

You can't get clean
with your clothes on.

Okay, sweetie, listen,
whatever is going on here,

we can work it out.

What do you care?

You're just embarrassed.

Yes, quite.

Why can't you have a normal
addiction to, like, cocaine

or bath salts, instead
of pretending to be dead?

This is humiliating.

- Oh...
- Les Abats.

This looks really nice.
You guys want to check it out?

- You got to be kidding me.
- No, you said you were hungry.

For bankruptcy? No, thanks.

I know a place
where we can fill up for cheap.

What's he even having?
Motor oil?

Okay, you got what you wanted.

I am out of the tub,
and now I need you two to leave.

Why?

You have places to be?

Good one, Mommy.

- I do, actually.
- Ingrid,

there's not a living soul
waiting for you anywhere.

Unless you mean the you-know-who

that your father
you-know-whatted.

And he doesn't count.

Wow.

You know I'm gonna have
a family of my own one day?

Yeah.

And I'm gonna be the mother
that I never had.

I'm gonna be kind,

nurturing, supportive.

And, oh, you know what?
It might be too ambitious,

but I'm not gonna make
my child feel like

they were the worst thing
that ever happened to me.

Such a flair for drama.

You weren't the worst thing.

What's happening?

All your eyes
keep moving around.

You get
the company credit card,

you go to Falafel Halal
for fried chickpea balls?

Uh, dead guy, you've never had
these fried chickpea balls.

Plus, we saved enough for some
classy rosé-all-day shit,

since I get
the employee discount.

You work there, too?

Four nights a week,
graveyard shift.

I'm the nighttime manager now.

Falafel cutlets,
gentlemen,

digital baba ghanoush,
sparkling Prosecco.

- Okay, got it.
- Bon appétit.

Wow, that is a lot of onion.

I'm not kissing anybody.

That's the real world, isn't it?

Look at the color.

The richness of the design.

- Okay, that'll do it.
- Okay, thank you.

We're done now.
You can leave.

Damn. Can you imagine?

“Floor to ceiling windows,
a kitchen island."

- Windows and a kitchen.
- Yeah.

That place is,
if I was gonna guess a number,

out of your price range.

If I got promoted,
I could swing it.

Yeah, but do you really
want that?

A bedroom bigger than my torso?

Uh, yeah. Sign me up.

The place I'm in now is
an old shipping container,

and I still need roommates.

Yeah, well,
the higher up you go at Horizen,

the sketchier shit
they'll ask you to do.

That's just how
capitalism works.

- I thought you liked Lakeview.
- Yeah, but Lakeview

should be more like this.

You know? Central Park, where...

people come and go
as they please.

It's just...
You don't have to pay to exist.

Yeah, people would
get behind that.

But Horizen already
owns Lakeview.

Yeah, but their tech was
developed with public money

and they get subsidized power.

Well, not all of us
can make money

being community organizers.

No, but...

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we go to Queens?

You know, see how real
New Yorkers live?

Your guys' life.

- No.
- Yeah, man, let's do it.

Love it.

Great. Queens.

Whee.

♪ Not an ounce of gas,
I would get up there...

Hey, guys, check it, those kids
go to my old high school.

Mighty Mighty Maspeth!

What were you like
in high school?

Uh...

I had a 94 average. Average.

What, so, okay, what, I mean,
basically, I was a genius.

I miss high school.

The basketball team,
my dance troupe.

The sewing club.

Wait, you did all those things?

I was athletic
and crafty as hell.

I bet we all
would have been friends.

Oh, uh...

I got to take this. One sec.

Choak's stopped
about a mile away.

12300 Jamaica Parkway.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, so... this was
my senior recital dance.

Kick ball change,
double pirouette,

row the boat,

now take the boat back,
flip that boat,

dip it low, pick it up slow.

I think I missed

the boat part of the dance.

Maybe just, maybe run it back,
start from the top.

Uh, where's Judgy and Dopey?

They went to check
your settings,

but it seems like
you're working again.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I...

I don't really know
what that was.

It must have been some kind
of glitch or something.

Can I ask you one last question
to finish the vetting process?

Okay. Whatever.

Why are you pretending
to be uploaded?

What... um...

How do you...

- I thought so. Wow.
- No. Look, look, look, look.

I am paying gigantic amounts
for this to be kept private.

I am literally blocked
from telling anyone.

But if you're alive,

and you could be roaming
around the real world

doing anything you wanted,
why are you here?

Because...

Because I love him.

And when you love someone,
you will do anything

just to be close to them.

It's an emotion.

I don't really expect you
to understand.

I understand that you

have spent a long time,
with no end in sight,

doing something uncomfortable
out of love.

Approved, for one digital baby.

I think that we're gonna...

Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.

- We did it.
- I'm gonna be a mom.

I'm gonna be a good mom.

It should be on this block.

There he is.

And there he goes.

But what was he doing
in this part of town?

Freeyond.

Why this location in Queens?

Yeah, it's weird.

Wait, there is only one Freeyond
retail store in New York.

That can't be right.

How many locations
in the United States?

Looks like about 650.

And only one in New York City?

How many in Los Angeles?

Only one.

Where the fuck are they, then?

I mean, you want to help
poor people, why not go

where there are lots
of poor people?

Wow. There are a hundred
Freeyond stores

in Pennsylvania.

96 in Wisconsin.

75 in Michigan.

180 in Florida.

I mean, only one in L.A.
and almost 200 in Florida?

Maybe this isn't about money,

maybe it's about
political power.

Freeyond is almost entirely
in swing states.

- And uploads can't vote.
- You get enough poor
people to upload...

- In the right precinct...
- You can tip an election.

Oh, fuck me.

That's why we've been doing
boring shit all day?

- Aleesha...
- Some invitation.

"We're gonna tour New York
on an expense account,

have fun out of the office."

I guess you didn't think
we'd come on some crazy stalk

through your weird
murder obsession.

Okay, we were doing
something else all day,

but something important,
all right?

Choak's disenfranchising
the poor.

Oh, naughty.

So maybe you had a boring day,

but it was for a good cause,
Aleesha.

Well, I didn't volunteer.

You volunteered me.
There's a difference.

And maybe I would have
if you asked,

instead of pretending today
was about friendship.

Well, maybe I didn't think
you would say yes

if there was nothing in it
for you.

I'm selfish?
That's what you're saying?

Fuck you.

Maybe you should go.

Yeah.

Okay, hey, let's maybe
slow it down a little bit.

- I'm getting dizzy here.
- And she has the nerve

to guilt-trip me
about working at Horizen

when she's the one
that's been using me

and lying to me
this whole damn day.

Hey, you have nothing
to feel guilty about.

You have to try to better
yourself, however you can.

- That's why I joined the Army.
- Damn right.

You work multiple jobs

in order to live
in a shipping container?

Of course you want to move up.

Nobody can judge you who hasn't
walked a mile in your shoes.

I'm certainly not going to.

Thanks.

That actually makes me
feel better.

Although
you don't judge anybody.

Mildred straight-up said
that ugly people

should be sterilized,
and you keep fucking her.

Yeah.

It's just so awful.

I don't know how much more
of this I can take.

These poor people
never catch a break.

We'll figure something out,
all right?

You keep hoping and you keep
fighting, and one day you win.

- What if you don't?
- You know, even if you don't,

I want to be one of the ones
who keeps fighting.

Because something ugly happens
to you when you...

when you stop fighting
and you stop hoping.

Come on, I'll walk you home.

Hi, Ms. Kannerman.

I hear things are coming along,
should be ready soon.

Uh, sorry it's taken so long,
but we can only speed things...

and she's gone.

Well, that's one way
to treat people.

To be honest,
it wasn't easy.

But I kept my eye on the prize
and got the approval.

And one day... one day, I swear,

I am not gonna fuck up
a little kid.

The cycle ends with me.

Okay?

I promise.

What do you think
of the name Noah?

Yeah, it's been growing on me.

Everything is going
to be perfect, Nathan.

Just perfect.