Upload (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Shopping Other Digital After-Lives - full transcript

We need to be a united front.
You need to stay on script.

NATHAN: Or maybe you
need to get better at adapting.

Okay, and we're partners.
I don't work for you.

(DISTORTS): Well, you...

(DISTORTED STATIC)

Okay, okay, let's not
turn on each other.

We both want the same thing.

- Want the same thing.
- Do we, Jamie?

'Cause from here,
looks like you want to...

What I actu... want to...

(DISTORTED STATIC,
HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)



(SIGHS)
What were we fighting about?

W-Why won't it play?

I never seen
this kind of damage before.

We stop now.

Enhancing stressful memories,
not recommended.

Even for a strong man like you.

Try happy memory, maybe?

Like good scone.

Or powerful orgasm.

People do that?

Every day.

Okay, um...

Maybe last Thursday.

Uh, like, 4:00 p.m.



You don't want memory
from time you were alive?

No one ever ask
for upload memory.

NATHAN: Don't you ever
want to just run across the water

- and pet that duck?
- (BIRDS QUACKING, CHIRPING)

You know you can walk on water
whenever you want, right?

You're in heaven, dude.

- Just ask for these things.
- For real?

All I have to do
is hit a button.

Hit the button.

♪ ♪

(LAUGHS)

You were so confident!

Okay, little help here?
You are my angel.

Hmm. Ah.

- Fine.
- NATHAN: Unbelievable.

Okay.

- Oh!
- (SCREAMS)

♪ ♪

- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- Oh!

Not so funny now, is it, Nora?

(NORA LAUGHS)

You do realize I am 100% dry,
sitting in my office right now?

(BOTH LAUGH)

You know angel's name?

S... Hmm?

No, I'm... (CHUCKLES)

Like, barely.

Lot of memory space devoted

to angel whose name
you barely know.

Yeah, that's just...
(CLEARS THROAT)

Lot of tech questions.

I believe you.

Super. See ya.

And how does he know your name?

I mean, that might be on you.

Well, you screamed my name
so loud the other day,

he probably heard it
through my microphone.

Nothing is ever on me.

We've had this discussion.

Fraternizing with an upload
is a fireable offense.

I'm putting you on probation.

- What?
- Clear out your desk.

You're suspended
until further notice

and access to your avatar
has been revoked.

Lucy, please.

You're a 4.8-star employee,
Nora,

but sometimes,
you act like a 3.6.

You can go.

That Clif Bar
is company property.

Come on.

♪ ♪

(SIGHS)

Geez.

Hey. What's going on
with the pop-ups, buddy?

You and Ingrid get
that sex suit working?

No. No, our relationship's
never been worse.

Not according to the algorithms.

Yeah, well, the algorithms,
they're wrong.

I don't think so, man.

The ads know us better
than we know ourselves.

Ah. Sorry, bro.

No, I...

(SIGHS)

Oh, my God. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Angel?

(EXHALES)

How can I can help you,
Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown?

(CHUCKLES)

Well, uh, Ms. Antony, uh,

I've been getting
some interesting ads.

Oh. I can go into the system
and limit those.

Yeah, or I could just admit
what's on my mind.

Well, you can
talk to me about...

anything, um...

What's on your mind?

NATHAN: Um... (CHUCKLES)

I didn't think
I'd get this nervous.

Um, well, we've been friends

for a while now, right?

I guess we have.

Okay, and, um,

I mean, I haven't spoken
to Ingrid yet,

but I just feel like I need
to get this out.

I think about you a lot.

And I mean, I'm not crazy
right? You feel the same way.

So I just think
that we should both

admit it and...

Wow, you look...
you look really pretty today.

I meant to start with that.

I should...

- Go on.
- Okay. Well, um,

I mean, I know
it'll be difficult for you

because, you know,
I'm an upload and you're alive,

with your entire life
ahead of you.

And-and I don't have...
I have no right

to expect or demand
anything of you,

but I also can't help
how I feel.

- So...
- I'm sorry, but...

- Yes?
- No. No.

No?

No. No. No.

Um... I...

I'm not offended. 32%...

of scans develop attractions
to their angel.

- Sorry, what?
- We consider these feelings...

to be a testament to our...

superior customer service.

(CHUCKLES)
Is-is this one of your pranks?

'Cause... I'm not really
getting it.

It's not. Sorry.

Wow. Um...

(CHUCKLES)

That is so embarrassing.

Um...

I... And I just
made things really weird,

so just...

uh, forget I said anything.

Well, consider it forgotten.

Bye.

(CHUCKLES) She's coming back.

She's not. What the fuck?

Hey, should I get a pixie cut?

(SIGHS) Hey, Mom,
I want to see other heavens.

Sweetie, is-is something wrong?

- No, I just need to get out of here.
- Oh.

- Did you have a fight with Ingrid?
- Spare change?

No, I don't have any change.
Just go away.

It's not always about her. Okay?

Just get in touch
with an afterlife agent.

I'd like to see
other places with you.

Gosh, they're so expensive.

I'm sure you can find one
in our price range.

- Okay? Please, I need to do this.
- Oh...

- Hey, behind you.
- Spare some change? -Oh.

(SIGHS) Thanks.

Sweetie, I'll try. Okay?

I love you.

(PHONE RINGING)

KENDRA: Nora.

You still at Horizen?

- Send Lucy my worst.
- (CHUCKLES)

How's AT&T&T?

Ugh, it's good.
When a customer's rude,

it's nice to know I can still
look forward to their death.

Hey, could you
do me a quick favor?

Uh, and uh, switch off
call-record, if you don't mind.

- (KEY CLICKS)
- Of course. What's up?

I need you to look
at the phone records

for a guy named
Josh Pitzer in L.A.

He worked at Cavern Investments.

Okay.

Service recently terminated.

Uh, can you tell me
about his final phone calls?

Uh, outgoing to a Francis Booth.

She never answered.

He then followed
with a text message

to some unknown number.

It just says some numbers.
10-55-6.

Wait, that's Nathan's upload ID.

Oh, who was the unknown number?

Just says "blocked."

That could be
the killer's phone number.

W-What?

What's going on?

And who's Nathan?

If I get fired for this,
I swear to God...

Wait, hold on.

There's someone outside.

Oh, God.

Okay, bye.

Hey! Get the fuck
out of my veggie stash.

You're not usually here.

Yeah, I got suspended.

Give me your resume, then.

And I'll edit it up for you.

(SCOFFS)

(GRUNTS)

NORA: Fuck you.

Are you sure you want
to leave Lakeview?

I can offer you discounts

on Jacuzzi visits
and a free protein

on all your salads.

What, now you tell me?

No. No, I got to go.

All right, well,
remember, Mr. Brown,

Horizen isn't liable
for any damage

to uploads while they're
outside of Lakeview.

So please be careful.

Has your caretaker
purchased a safety case

to carry you around in?

Yeah, I'm sure my mom's on it.

Let's hope so. All right.

Go! Go, go, go, go, go!

(EXCLAIMS, SCREAMING)

And you're sure you don't want
the protective case?

This hard drive will be
the only copy of your son

in existence.

I'd recommend a case.

For $40?

No thanks.

Yeah, well, the case
is bullshit anyways.

Good call.

Oh...

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Is this my business, though?

- Leaving the system?
- I know.

Aleesha, I-I think there
may people out to kill him.

I knew you would overreact.

I-I've got to warn him.

How?

You're grounded
and he's on the move.

I'll go to L.A.

Okay, well...

I have a hook-up
at Frontier-Spirit-United.

Are you willing to fly
Economy Minus?

It's a 30-minute flight.
I'll suck it up.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Welcome to Frontier-Spirit-United.

Thanks for trusting us again.

Now that we're safely airborne,

feel free to adjust your seats

to maximize your comfort
and convenience.

- (CHILD COUGHING)
- (FARTING)

- (CHICKEN CLUCKING)
- (NEARBY SNEEZE)

(HEAVIER COUGHING)

- (BABY CRYING)
- (DOG BARKING)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

- Hello?
- Mm. (CHUCKLES)

Welcome.

Oh, my gosh.

Can I help you?

Uh, yes.

(DOOR CLOSES)

My son... Nathan,

would like to tour some
new digital life extensions.

Of course.

Hey, Nathan.
What's up, buddy? (CHUCKLES)

I know he can't hear me.
I just like to do that.

- Oh.
- So, where's he coming from?

Lakeview.

Lakeview? (LAUGHS)

What is he, 90?

We will get him
something better.

Sit.

Hmm...

you got a safety case for him?

I got a special sale.

Thank you, no.

You sure?

Somebody spills
a slurpy on that dude,

he's toast.

That's what happened
to these guys.

Well, I...

I'll-I'll think about it.

Okay.

(HUMS A TUNE)

Okay.

(RATTLING, THUD)

Where to first?

The delightful beaches
of Apple's Cove?

The luxurious nightlife
of Panera Facebooks' Aeon?

D-Don't I need to put
on VR goggles?

Oh, well, we're not going VR.

We're going IR.

It's like a hybrid.

And you don't need glasses.

Augmented Reality?

That's AR.

This is IR.

It's like a hybrid.

And it's local.

- Oh.
- You know, it could've been

bigger than VR if a lot
of things hadn't gone wrong.

I put it in ten years ago.

I really thought
it was gonna be big.

(QUIET LAUGH)

Let's go.

♪ ...gonna be,
I just want to play ♪

♪ It's no wonder... ♪

Wow, awesome amazing.

It's like we're really there.

♪ ...right here in Italy. ♪

Hello, Ms. Kannerman.

I know you.

Do we do Impact Yoga together?

Did I forget my kneepads again?

I'm Nora.

From Horizen.

Oh, yeah, you were the, um,

the service tech
that helped with my hug suit.

See, I knew you'd seen me
in my underwear.

What are you doing here?

Whatever. Okay, just come on up.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

So... why are you here?

To ask you about Nathan.

I mean, when a client
ejects from Lakeview

we normally conduct
an exit interview.

Wait. Nathan's leaving Lakeview?

I don't know.

I assumed he was with you.

But who else would've taken him?

Oh.

I know exactly who.

Let's bring in the star
of our show.

(VOCALIZING FANFARE)

(SCREAMS)

What the...

- Hey.
- Jesus! Am I a lamp?

Mom, where am I?

High above the Tuscan Hills

taking a tour of the romantic

digital afterlife,

Paradiso TuttiTempo.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Yeah, this is a great place

if you love Italian-Americans.

They're pretty much all here.

You like Sinatra?

It's pumped in nonstop.

I don't like Sinatra.

Well, then this is not for you.

You like casinos?

You're gonna love.

Panera Facebook's Aeon.

♪ ♪ Ooh.

(CHUCKLES)

At Facebook Aeon,

they know what you like because
they have been collecting

your private info for years.

They scraped
a ton of data on you

just since we've been
sitting here.

- Pass.
- No problem.

How about.

Nat Geo-Instagram Safari?

How does that sound, Nathan?

And his mom?

♪ ♪ (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)

(MONKEYS CHATTERING)

I... I can barely see anything.

Well, the technology
is terrible.

But the real thing
is way immersive.

You feel like you're
really in the dirt, you know?

You can smell the elephants.

You can hear
the hyenas constantly.

It's all around you.

That sounds really unappealing.

Oh, I'm so sorry,
he's not always like this.

No, he is right... they can't
get anyone to go there.

I can get you 90% off
if you lock in for 100 years.

- Nope.
- Ooh!

Wow.

- Well...
- Really, Mom?

(BEEP)

Uh-oh, I got to take this.

Hey, Ingrid, dear.

INGRID: Uh, audio only?

Excuse me? Put your video on.

Is that a travel agency?

Anything you want to tell me?

You took Nathan heaven shopping
without even telling me?

VIV: It's his life.
Let him live it.

Well, no, technically,
it's my life.

I pay for it.

(LAUGHS) What?

- (VIV SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- Okay, well,

this life I gave him is gonna
last a lot longer

than the one you gave him.

Wow. Are you kidding me?

(VIV SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Excuse me?

If it were up to you?

Oh, Viv, if it were up to you,

he would be real,
old-school super dead.

(LAUGHS)

♪ ♪

You'd have to go and visit

his grave all the time

and you'd still probably
never invite me.

(QUIETLY): Okay.

♪ ♪

(INHALES)

INGRID:
He would adjust a lot faster

if you weren't always telling
him how hard it is to adjust.

You know what, whatever.
Just drop a pin

and I'll meet you there.

Come with me.

We got to beat traffic.

You okay?

Huh?

You can let go of the door now.

Oh. Sorry.

It's just not a lot of
self-driving cars in New York.

Oh, they're super safe.

Usually.

I don't get it...

Why did they send you
all this way?

You know, Horizen really cares
about customer service.

(LAUGHS) I don't know.

I could tell you some stories.

But you seem nice.

And just so you know,

I totally support
raising the minimum wage.

Thanks...

(SIGHS)

Wait.

Is that the Baby Botox
fantasy playground?

You Tox, too?

I'm obsessed.

Oh, I could watch Sonia throw up
on Hunter all day.

Oh, my God, the...

(BOTH IMITATE RETCHING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, my God.

I have so much hot goss,
by the way.

I shouldn't say this, but

my sister's nanny is actually
friends with Sonia's nanny.

- No.
- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, Sonia's out of control.
- Out of control. It's insane.

Guess how much juice
they let her drink in a day.

- Like, 12 juice boxes.
- What?

Pound it, pound it, pound it.

That's crazy.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, this is
a disgusting part of town.

- Are you coming?
- Yeah.

Come on.

Look at the color of that water.

Ooh, can we see in those huts?

Not with IR.

Think how much harder
that would be to do.

You have to fly
a drone in there...

Impossible stuff.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Holy shit.

I got another customer.

No, you don't.

- Greetings.
- Ugh. What is this?

Oh, baby. Hi.

- Hey, Ingrid.
- Hey,

can you tell me why
you would leave Lakeview

without letting me know?

I... I'm exploring my options.

I never should've asked you
to cut costs.

You can have as much
avocado toast you want.

- Ugh.
- That's just who you are, babe.

That's not what this is about.

Okay? We've been
fighting a lot lately,

and I just needed a change.

Nora?

Your angel is here.
That's how great Lakeview is.

They sent her out to check
on their favorite customer.

Lakeview's the best, Nathan.

I'll upload there one day.

You can't leave it...

because the girl you love
is gonna be at Lakeview.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can give it
another shot.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You don't run away from
something you know is right

just because there's
a couple bumps on the road.

INGRID: Yeah. Yes. (CHUCKLES)

- Eject!
- MAURICIO: Yes, miss.

I brought him here.
I will take him back.

Um, no. He's my property.

He's not your property.
He's my son.

Guys, I close in five minutes,
so work it out, all right?

(LOUDLY SLURPING)

Here. Uh, as

the Horizen account holder,

I think you should
be in possession of him.

(SCOFFS)

Come back real soon.

We also do virtual weddings
and birthdays.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

Be careful in the rain.
I didn't get the safety case.

Viv, all I ever do is take care
of Nathan. I know how.

Oh! No!

- Hey!
- Hey! Stop! Stop!

Babe! Babe, I'm coming!

Stop that man!
He's got my boyfriend!

No!

Nathan! Baby!

Oh... No!

- (SCREAMS)
- Oh, my God!

Nathan?!

Nathan, I'm coming for you.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh, shit!

Okay. Go around. (WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMS)

- Ingrid's coming!
- He's okay. All right?

I gave her a broken drive.
Nathan's on this one.

Oh, thank you.

(CRYING) I hate it. I hate it.

Why would somebody do that?

I don't know,

but I'm sure as hell
gonna find out.

Okay?

You're very committed
for a customer service rep.

INGRID: Ugh, it smells like dog!

Fuck, fuck. Oh, Nathan. Hi.

Hi, baby. Hi.
I'm so sorry. (BLOWS)

Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Rice. Rice!

Does anybody have rice?

- Oh, my God...
- Eventually,

- (INGRID CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
- maybe tell her he's alive.

(SIGHS)

(SCREAMING)

Whoa! Ah! (GRUNTS) Mr. Brown!

- You're back! You're back.
- Yeah. I'm back.

Okay, okay, okay. I can do this.

Douchebag, thanks for telling me
you were leaving.

I had them do
a wellness check on you,

bust down your door,
slept in your bed.

I was gone for an afternoon.

Hey, how was it out there?
Did you bring me back anything?

Oh... Actually,

it's from Disney's Eternity.

Yeah, the travel agent
had digital souvenirs.

(SCOFFS) I love it.

(CHUCKLES): I freaking love it.

Oh, my God.

NATHAN: It is "Luke," right?

- LUKE: Ah!
- (LAUGHS)

Hey.

I didn't even say "angel."
I was just thinking about you.

Okay.

NORA: Someone knew

you were being ejected
and that you'd be vulnerable.

I mean, who else knew
besides your mom?

I don't know, but,

I mean, if you found out,
then couldn't anyone at Horizen?

You know,
you really are my angel.

You saved my life.

I can't believe you flew
all the way to L.A.

What, you thought
I wouldn't even say goodbye?

No, it's just... I don't know.

We parted on such
an awkward note yesterday.

- You know, I just thought...
- Wait, what?

Shit.

Lucy.

She suspended me,
and while I was out,

- she must've used my avatar.
- (CHUCKLES)

Um...

What did you say to her?

Just some things I've been
meaning to say for a while.

Um...

I mean, now that you're back...

The only reason I'm back

is because your girlfriend

gave such a good review
to my boss' boss.

Yeah, she has her moments.

Yeah. I'm just saying...

maybe you should
speak with her first.

Before you say to me

whatever you said to Lucy.

Yeah.

I'm really happy you're back.

Me too.

Come on.

Oh...

No way.

I think you've earned it.

Uh, yeah, yeah. Let's go.

(LAUGHING)

I can't believe
you fell for it again.

I can't believe
you lied to me again.

Aw. (LAUGHING)

I trusted you.

Unbelievable.

Amazing.

I'm going back
to Disney Eternity.

- Oh, whoa.
- Mm-hmm.

- Way too soon.
- Yeah. See you later.

(NORA LAUGHING)

Oh, don't pout.

Feels so good. Mm.