United States of Tara (2009–2011): Season 3, Episode 8 - Chicken 'n' Corn - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON
"UNITED STATES OF TARA"...

Charmaine: PREMATURE LABOR
INDUCED VIA VOLKSWAGEN?!

I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU'RE GONNA TOP THAT ONE, TARA.

I DON'T THINK I CAN TRUST YOU
AROUND MY BABY.

WHY WOULD YOU GUYS
SHIT ON A CHANCE

TO DITCH SCHOOL
AND GO TO NEW YORK?

IT'S NOT A MONSTER MOVIE.

IT'S NOT A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.

IT'S A LOVE STORY.

OH,
SO YOU'RE FROM KANSAS.

OVERLAND PARK,
BORN AND RAISED.



I'M SURE
YOU FIND WAYS TO HAVE FUN.

Kate: WOULDN'T YOU
LIKE TO FIND OUT.

Tara:
HATTARAS DUMPED ME.

THE BOY
WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A KITE,

THE ONE FROM JACK'S BOOK?

HE, UH...

HE JUMPED FROM A BUILDING
WITH A STRING TIED TO HIS ANKLE.

I WANT YOU TO DELIVER
ON YOUR PROMISE TO HER.

I CAN MEDICATE IT.

I CAN GIVE IT
A FEW GOOD YEARS.

BUT THE TRUTH IS, IT IS
NEVER GONNA GET ANY BETTER.

YOU AND YOUR SISTER
HAVE A HALF BROTHER.

HIS NAME WAS BRYCE.

HE HAD TROUBLES.



[ As Buck ]
BRYCE CRAINE?

THEY CALL ME "JUSTICE."

Y-YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY.

[ As Buck ] YOU AIN'T DITCHIN'
THAT WOMAN NOW.

SHIT'S GOIN' DOWN
SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

WHAT DOES
"YOU WILL NOT WIN" MEAN?

OH, SHIT.

[ As Buck ] I BEEN LOOKIN',
BUT HE'S STILL OUT THERE,

AND I GOT TO FIND HIM
BEFORE HE FINDS HER.

[ SIGHS ]

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

I'M IN!
THEY TOOK MY MOVIE!

YOU CAN'T JUST --

THEY ONLY ACCEPT 20 MOVIES,
AND I GOT IN!

[ SIGHS ]
WHAT IF I WAS, YOU KNOW...

I AM GOING TO NYC.

Oh, my God!
HEY, WHAT'S ALL
THE RACKET?

TELL YOUR DAD, MOOSH.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE
IN, LIKE, 20 MINUTES.

DAD --
THAT FUCKING BABY
OF CHARMAINE'S --

IT SHIT ALL THE WAY UP
ITS OWN BACK.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO
TO THE PUMPKIN HARVEST.

I MEAN, THE CHIEFS
ARE PLAYING TODAY.

OUR SON GOT INTO
THE FILM FESTIVAL.

LOOK AT YOU. HUH?
I KNEW IT.

YEAH! OUR KID
JUST MIGHT BE A GENIUS!

THE FOOD'S COVERED,
AND THE HOTEL'S PRETTY CHEAP,

SO, I MEAN,
I CAN GO, RIGHT?

OH, YOU GOT TO GO.

OH, SHIT. I CAN'T GO.
I'VE GOT MY MIDTERMS COMING UP.

HOW ABOUT YOU?
YOU GOT SOME TIME OFF WORK?

HUH?
COME ON, DAD.

WE CAN HANG OUT TOGETHER,

SEE SOME BANDS,
SKATE IN THE PARK.

WILL YOU TAKE ME?

TO NEW YORK?

YEAH.

ON A PLANE?

Tara: OH, MAX,
STOP BEATING UP ON YOURSELF.

I LOVE MY LITTLE BUNNY!

Max:
WELL, MY HEART WANTED TO WIN YOU
THAT BIG, GIANT TEDDY BEAR,

BUT MY ARM THROWS LIKE
A BRAIN-DAMAGED GIRL.

[ LAUGHS ]

Charmaine:
FUCKING AWESOME.

I FINALLY GET OUT OF THE HOUSE,
AND I'M LOST IN A CORN MAZE.

I MEAN,
HOW IS IT 80 FUCKING DEGREES?

IS THIS FUN TO PEOPLE?
I MEAN, IS ANYONE HAVING FUN?

Girl: I AM!

IT WAS RHETORICAL,
STUPID.

IT JUST FEELS WEIRD
GOING WITHOUT YOU.

THERE'S NO WAY YOUR DAD
CAN COME UP WITH THE MONEY?

YOU KNOW MY DAD.
HOW DO I ASK HIM?

USE WORDS
HE CAN RELATE TO.

SAY, "DAD, I NEED MONEY
SO I CAN FLY TO JEW-TOPIA

AND HAVE BUTT SEX
WITH MY FILMMAKER BOYFRIEND."

YEAH. AND BY THE TIME
I GET TO THE WORD "FILMMAKER,"

I'LL BE MISSING
TWO TEETH.

GO. BE BRILLIANT.
WIN FIRST PRIZE.

DID YOU CALL LIONEL?

NO, I, UH...

NO.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A BAD MOTHER,
BUT I GET SO LONELY.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T
TALKED TO ANOTHER ADULT

IN OVER A WEEK.

MM-HMM. IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT
FROM WHEN NEIL WAS AROUND?

I KNOW IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
TO BELIEVE,

BUT ONE DAY,
NOT TOO FAR FROM NOW,

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE
SO MUCH EASIER.

AND I SWEAR TO GOD --

[ ROARS ]
AAH! AAAH!

AAAH! AAAH!

AAAH!
[ WHEELS CRYING ]

[ As Chicken ]
GO AWAY, MONSTER! GO AWAY!

TARA, CALM DOWN!
IT --

[ SOBBING ]

OH, FUCK.
IT'S -- IT'S CHICKEN.

[ SOBBING CONTINUES ]

YOU GO THAT WAY.

[ ROARS ]

[ Muffled ] HEY!

[ SOBBING CONTINUES ]

[ Crying ] STOP.

LET GO OF ME.

MRS. GREGSON?

OH, IT HURTS!

IT'S OKAY.
SHH. SHH. SHH.

[ GASPS ]
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ As Tara ]
THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

YOU GET USED TO IT
AFTER A WHILE.

HELP ME UP.

[ GRUNTS ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WAIT -- CAKE?
YOU SAT IN CAKE?

IT SOUNDS LIKE IT SHOULD BE
FUNNY, BUT IT'S NOT.

[ LAUGHS ]

I THINK I WAS JUST LOST.
AND AT THE TIME, I WANTED...

I MEAN, ANYTHING I SAY
AT THE END OF THAT SENTENCE

IS GOING TO BE A LIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THAT I WANTED.

WELL, COME ON.
WE ALL FUCK UP. YOU KNOW?

BEFORE
I COULD LEGALLY DRINK,

I WAS 20 GRAND IN DEBT,
RAISING A KID.

BUT I-I DID --
I HAD A PLAN --

PROFESSIONAL
ULTIMATE FRISBEE.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND BEFORE YOU ASK,
YES, IT IS A REAL THING,

AND NO --
TERRIBLE WAY TO GET LAID.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SIGHS ] WHY CAN'T WE LIVE
IN THE SAME CITY?

AH, BECAUSE LIFE, MY DEAR,
IS NOT THAT NEAT.

[ GLASSES CLINK ]

HEY, Y'ALL GONNA USE
THIS CHAIR?

[ WOMAN TALKING ON P.A. ]
MNH-MNH.MNH-MNH.

ACTUALLY,
I HAVE PRE-BOARDING, SO...

THIS WAS NICE.
YEAH.

SO, WHEN DO I GET TO
SEE YOU NEXT?

DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE GONNA
STOP THROUGH ST. LOUIS?

YES, BUT I CAN'T
MEET UP ANYMORE

BECAUSE MY DAD
AND MY LITTLE BROTHER

ARE FLYING SkyKans
TO ST. LOUIS

AND THEN TAKING THE RED-EYE
TO NEW YORK.

UH, SO YOU CAN'T MEET UP WITH ME
OR YOU DON'T WANT TO?

TOO SOON
TO MEET THE FAMILY?

NO! IT'S JUST -- WELL,
MEETING FAMILY IS SO SCARY.

AND MY FAMILY,
IN PARTICULAR...

I GET IT.

YOU'RE EMBARRASSED OF ME.

WHAT IS IT, MY GLASS EYE
OR MY CHEAP TOUPEE?

[ LAUGHS ]
NO.

FINE.
WE'LL MEET UP WITH THEM.

YOU'VE GOT TO MEET THEM
EVENTUALLY, RIGHT?

YEP.

SO, I WILL SEE YOU IN ST. LOUIS,
TURDBURGER.

[ MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON P.A. ]

MM.

[ SIGHS ] BYE.

YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.

DO I?

YEAH.

I'M JUST SO SICK
OF ALL THE POSTMORTEMS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

HEY, PUMPKIN HARVEST
WAS FUN.

REMEMBER -- REMEMBER THAT
CRAZY LADY AT THE CORN MAZE?

HUH?

ACTED LIKE
A 5-YEAR-OLD,

ROLLING AROUND,
CRYING IN THE DIRT?

WONDER WHAT'S UP
WITH HER.

WELL, I THINK
SHE WAS JUST SCARED.

YEAH? THAT'S IT?
NOTHING ELSE GOING ON?

NOTHING ELSE
IS GOING ON!

[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
OKAY. QUIT YELLING. I JUST
GOT TO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS.

Marshall: GUESS WHAT.

NOAH AND I WERE LOOKING THROUGH
THE FESTIVAL SCHEDULE.

THEY'RE DOING AN ENTIRE EVENING
OF MAX LINDER SHORTS,

FOLLOWED BY A RESTORED PRINT
OF LUMI?RE'S

"LA SORTIE DE L'USINE LUMI?RE
? LYON."

[ Chuckling ]
WOW. THAT'S GREAT.

YOU KNOW,
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM

WITH HIS
SEXUAL ORIENTATION,

BUT THIS -- IT REALLY RUBS ME
THE WRONG WAY.

I DON'T WANT TO FLY
TO NEW YORK.

I DON'T WANT TO FLY
ANYWHERE.

IF GOD WANTED US TO FLY,

HE WOULDN'T HAVE INVENTED
SPECTACULAR CRASHING.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO GO.
YOU PROMISED.

CAN YOU HACK IT?

YES. I'LL BE FINE.

[ RUMBLING ]
OH, MOTHERFUCKER!

I'M --
I'M GETTING MY PILLS.

BUT THE SEATBELT SIGN --

FUCK THE SIGN!
FUCK YOUR MOVIE!

FUCK THIS FUCKING PLANE!

[ RUMBLING ]
OH, HEY HO!

OH, JESUS! FUCK!

SIR, CALM DOWN.

YOU'RE MAKING THE OTHER
PASSENGERS SHIT THEMSELVES.

OKAY, THEN YOU TELL
THAT FUCKING PILOT

TO QUIT HOT-DOGGIN' IT.

HONEY,
I NEED MY PILLS.

PLEASE.

HE STOLE A HANDFUL
OF MOM'S WACKY TABLETS.

WELL,
IF WE GET TO ST. LOUIS

AND YOU'RE STILL
FEELING FLIPPED OUT,

WE CAN ALWAYS TAKE
A RAIN CHECK ON MEETING --

NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M GONNA DO IT.

I'M GONNA MEET YOUR BOYFRIEND.
I'M NOT BACKING OUT NOW.

I'M GONNA BE NICE AND WARM
AND FRIENDLY

AND BE HIGH AS A KITE,
BUT HE'S GONNA LOVE ME.

GIMME.

I DON'T NEED HIM
TO LOVE YOU.

I NEED HIM TO THINK
YOU'RE NOT A MONKEY'S ASSHOLE.

OKAY.

I'M, UH...

I'M REALLY PROUD OF HER --
FLIGHT ATTENDANT.

IT'S NOW TIME
FOR YOUR SkyKans MEAL.

THE TURKEY SANDWICH
IS PRETTY GOOD.

JESUS CHRIST.
IT NEVER ENDS.

I DON'T WANT TO --
I DON'T WANT --

SON --
DAD, STOP, OKAY?

LET'S TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

I DON'T KNOW
IF I TOLD YOU THIS YET,

BUT OUR -- OUR FILM GOT
SCHEDULED TO SCREEN ON SUNDAY,

WHICH IS
PRIME REAL ESTATE.

AND THE PANEL IS BEING LED
BY ELVIS MITCHELL --

THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE
ON THAT PLANET --

ON THAT PLANET...
DOWN THERE.

AND...JUST --
DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

DON'T GET MY HOPES UP?

YEAH. I JUST --

GIVE ME A SECOND.

I NEED TO TALK
TO MY LORD.

IN THE NAME
OF THE FATHER, SON, HOLY --

[ RUMBLING ]
OH, FUCK ME!

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN,
HALLOWED BE THY NAME.

THY KINGDOM COME. THY
WILL BE DONE ON EARTH
AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.

Jeremiah Dunst:
IT'S NONE OF MY CONCERN.

I'M AT THE MERCY
OF THE ELEMENTS.

I'M A VESSEL.

I HAVE NO CONTROL.

I'M INCULPABLE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
UHH, CAN WE BE DONE NOW?

THE WIND'S PICKING UP.

COME ON!

YOU INVADED MY PRIVACY.

NOW, WHO ARE YOU?
WHY SHOULD I GIVE A DAMN?

[ As Alice ]
HELLO, DOCTOR.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

WELL, GREETINGS,
YET ANOTHER TARA-SOMEBODY.

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

OH, DON'T TELL ME.
I'M KEEN TO GUESS.

WE'VE NO TIME
FOR YOUR HORSEPLAY.

TARA'S IN A PICKLE.

HELLO, ALICE.

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER
NEWS HAS GOT BACK TO 1961,

BUT YOUR HOST AND I
HAVE CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD.

OH, I'VE HEARD.
WE'RE ALL AWARE.

THE PROFESSOR'S PITY PARTY
IS STILL IN PROGRESS.

THEN WHY DID SHE BRING YOU
TO ME?

TARA DOESN'T KNOW
I'M HERE.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG,
BUT THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES.

OH, NEVER MIND THAT.

WE'RE SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE
OF AN EMERGENCY.

EMERGENCY!
WHAT EMERGENCY?

CHICKEN IS MISSING.

SHE WAS PLAYING
IN THE CORNFIELD,

WHEN SOMETHING UNSPEAKABLE
HAPPENED TO HER.

SHE HASN'T
BEEN SPOTTED SINCE.

ALICE,
I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT

FOR SOMEONE AS REAL AS YOU
TO UNDERSTAND,

BUT CHICKEN DOESN'T EXIST.

SHE IS IMAGINARY.

SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
OFF IN THE GUMDROP KINGDOM

HANGING OUT WITH HER IMAGINARY
DRAGON FRIEND, MR. FUMES.

ARE WE IMAGINING THIS?

PLEASED WE FINALLY HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION.

TARA NEEDS YOU.

WE ALL NEED YOU.

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU PUT ON
YOUR LITTLE COWBOY HAT

AND GET BACK IN THE SADDLE
AND BE A GOOD BUCKAROO?

WHO DID THIS?

I CAN'T SAY.

I'VE ALREADY
SAID TOO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT,
DON'T TELL ME.

I THINK I KNOW
WHO THE CULPRIT IS.

I WANT YOU
TO LISTEN TO THIS.

I THINK I MAY KNOW,

AND I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
IDENTIFY OUR MYSTERY --

Tara: [ Calm, menacing voice ]
YOU WILL NOT WIN.

[ RECORDER BEEPS ]

Kate: OKAY,
A FEW GROUND RULES --

NO TAKING OUT YOUR PHONE
TO SHOW PICTURES,

AND, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE
OF GOD, NO IMPRESSIONS.

YOUR OBAMA IS DANGEROUSLY CLOSE
TO UNCLE REMUS.

OH, HEY, HONEY,
I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER

NOT TO EMBARRASS YOU.

DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

IT'S DAD.

I KNOW HE'S ALL FREAKED OUT
ABOUT THE PLANE AND STUFF,

BUT WHY IS IT
THAT IN THIS FAMILY,

THE TWO OF US
ALWAYS END UP

HAVING TO TAKE CARE
OF OUR PARENTS?

I DON'T KNOW.
NOT MY PROBLEM. SUCK IT UP.

[ GASPS ] HEY!
COME OVER, COME OVER, COME OVER!

OKAY, COME ON!

HEY. HI.
HI.

OKAY.

UH, HELLO, GREGSONS.

WELCOME TO ST. LOUIS,
GATEWAY TO THE WEST.

THE MOUND...BIG LOU...

I AM WORKING WAY TOO HARD
ON BEHALF OF ST. LOUIS.

EVAN,
THIS IS MY DAD, MAX.

GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR.

PLEASURE TO MAKE
YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

He's taken the panic 'n' pill
approach to flying.

AND THIS IS MY...FUN AND HAPPY
BROTHER, MARSHALL.

MARSHALL. HI.
IT JUST DAWNED ON ME.

KATE DIDN'T TOLD ME
HOW OLD YOU WERE,

SO I BOUGHT YOU A TOY TRUCK.
[ CHUCKLES ]

BOY, MY HANDS
ARE REALLY GONNA BE FULL,

WHAT WITH THIS GIANT LOLLIPOP
AND BALLOON I'M HOLDING.

AH, YEAH.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

IT'S OKAY --
I GOT BIG POCKETS

IN THIS ADORABLE
LITTLE SAILOR OUTFIT.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
OH, MARSHALL.

Charmaine: TARA?

[ GASPS ]

TARA,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU
ALL MORNING.

I MUST HAVE CONKED OUT.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

2:00?! JESUS.

WHAT'S UP?

YEAH, I WAS WONDERING --
YOU KNOW, WITH NEIL GONE,

I AM JUST SO BEHIND
ON SO MANY THINGS.

I GOT TO GET TO THE BANK,
I'M LATE RENEWING MY LICENSE,

AND THEY'RE GONNA TURN OFF
MY FUCKING GAS

IF I DON'T PAY MY BILL.

IS THERE ANY WAY...
THAT I'D WATCH WHEELS?

HELLS YEAH.
YOU COOL WITH THAT?

YEAH.
I'M BEYOND DESPERATE.

OH, AND IT WOULD BE GOOD
FOR THE TWO OF YOU

TO HAVE
A LITTLE BONDING TIME.

YEAH, GIVE ME THE BABY.
GIVE ME THE BABY.

OKAY.

YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.
I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

ALL RIGHT,
DON'T HOLD HER LIKE THAT.

JUST...WATCH HER HEAD.
WATCH HER HEAD.

[ SMOOCHES ]
YOU'RE THE BEST.

WELL, I'M GLAD
THIS WORKED OUT.

I MISSED YOU.

OH, HOW COULD YOU NOT?
I'M ADORABLE.

I AM A NINJA!

OH, THIS IS MY S--

OH! FUCK! MY BACK!

MONTY!
GET OFF OF MR. GREGSON.

MONTY!

OH, I FINALLY
GET TO MEET MONTY.

WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

UH, SOMETHING CAME UP
WITH MY EX,

SO MONTY'S COMING
TO NASHVILLE.

I-I HOPE THAT'S OKAY.

OF COURSE.

HEY, MONTY.
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M KATE.

YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ CRYING ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WELL, I MUST SAY,
THE LAST THING I EXPECTED

WAS YOU
OPENING THE DOOR,

HOLDING A LITTLE OLD MAN
IN A PINK HAT.

THIS IS
MY SISTER'S BABY.

AND SHE IS NOT...

ENTIRELY...

WHATEVER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT.

I KNOW.
WE DID HAVE AN AGREEMENT.

UM...

BUT THEN IT SEEMS THERE'S BEEN
A SLIGHT TURNING OF THE SCREW.

COULD I COME IN?

[ WHEELS CRYING ]

YOU'RE MAKING HER CRY. MAKE IT
QUICK. I HAVE THINGS TO DO.

I HAVE THINGS TO DO, TOO,
YOU KNOW --

LYING AROUND,
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

THEN YOUR FRIEND ALICE
CAME A-KNOCKING.

NO RECOLLECTION?

[ FUSSING ]

SHE SAID
CHICKEN HAS GONE MISSING --

SOMETHING ABOUT A KERFUFFLE
IN A CORNFIELD.

YOU REALLY DON'T
REMEMBER THIS?

NO.

YOU DON'T EVEN BELIEVE
IN THIS...SHIT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I BELIEVE ANYMORE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?

I MEAN, TWO WEEKS AGO,

YOU SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE
AND SAID WE WERE THROUGH.

SHOW ME YOUR ARM.

WHAT?

YOUR ARM.

ALICE SHOWED ME.
I KNOW YOU'RE CUTTING YOURSELF.

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

LOOK, SOMETHING INSIDE YOU,
TARA, MUST TRUST ME IN SOME WAY.

OTHERWISE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
DRAGGED ME BACK INTO THIS SCRUM.

[ CRYING ]
I THINK
WE SHOULD SIT DOWN,

HAVE A LITTLE CHAT,
FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.

OKAY.

I GOT TO
PUT THE BABY DOWN.

OKAY.

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

[ CRYING ]

OH, SWEETHEART.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

[ CRYING ECHOES ]

[ CRYING ]

[ CRYING STOPS ]

HMM.

HMM.

TARA?

TARA?

YOU'RE A MOTHER,
RIGHT?

SO, YOU UNDERSTAND.

AND WHEN A BABY
COMES INTO YOUR LIFE,

EVERYTHING CHANGES.

YOU LOSE YOUR WHOLE LIFE,
RIGHT?

OH, I NEED THIS.
[ CHUCKLES ]

I MEAN, MY SISTER'S
A LITTLE LOOPY,

YOU KNOW,
BUT SHE'S BETTER.

I MEAN,
SHE SAYS SHE'S BETTER,

SO I HAVE TO BELIEVE
SHE'S BETTER.

IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

RIGHT?

YEAH,
I'M SURE IT'S FINE.

[ SIGHS ]

I'M RELAXING
AND TAKING THE DAY TO MYSELF.

IT'S THE RIGHT THING
TO DO.

DON'T YOU THINK SO...

CAROL?

"CAROL"?
[ SCOFFS ]

COME ON.
YOUR NAME'S NOT CAROL.

OH, MY GOD.
WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

THIS IS WRONG.
THIS IS SO, SO WRONG.

AND SELFISH! OH!

OKAY, CAROL, I GOT TO GO.
OKAY, I-I'M GOING.

SO, UM, COULD YOU JUST GET ME
MY FLIP-FLOPS?

GOD, WHAT THE FUCK
AM I DOING HERE?!

[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
I -- SHIT.

OKAY,
THAT IS NOT MY FAULT.

I AM NOT PAYING
FOR THAT.

YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL,
CAROL.

OH, GOD!

YOU'RE MAKING
A BIG MISTAKE.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING. SHE'S CHINESE.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE WAY
YOU'RE TREATING HER.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
HOW YOU'RE TREATING YOU.

AS A MOTHER OF THREE,
I'VE LEARNED

YOU REALLY CAN'T TAKE CARE
OF YOUR KIDS

UNTIL YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF.

IT'S NOT SELFISH.
IT'S THE TRUTH.

I'M ABBY.

CHARMAINE.

MM. NEW MOMMY.
I CAN SMELL IT ON YOU.

YEAH. UH, PRETTY RECENTLY,
ACTUALLY.

AND, UM, YOU KNOW, I'M DOING IT
ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW, SO...

I'M JUST A TOTAL MESS.

YOU KNOW,
I...MISS MY MAN.

[ Voice breaking ]
AND I WANT TO BE A GOOD MOM.

AND I FEEL UGLY
AND ALONE.

AND...

I DON'T KNOW.
MY WORLD IS JUST FALLING APART.

AND I JUST THOUGHT
IF I HAD ONE FUCKING AFTERNOON

TO MYSELF TO FEEL PRETTY
AND TO HAVE FUN, BUT...

I JUST MISS MY BABY.

I GOT TO GO APOLOGIZE TO CAROL.
I'M SORRY.

NO.
CAROL'S THE WORST.

SHE GAVE ME A STAPH INFECTION
IN MY TOES LAST YEAR.

TRY JUDY.

LOOK, I LOVE MY KIDS,

AND I'M PRETTY SURE
I'M A GOOD MOTHER,

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP
HANGING FROM AN EXTENSION CORD

TIED TO A RAFTER
IN THE PANTRY

WHILE YOUR TODDLER
IS POKING AT YOUR TOES --

TRUE STORY --

SIT BACK DOWN
AND HAVE ANOTHER COCKTAIL.

THAT'S AN ORDER.

CAROL, WOULD YOU MIND SEEING
IF JUDY OVER THERE IS AVAILABLE?

AND I'LL TAKE
ANOTHER MARTINI.

[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

[ WHEELS CRYING ]

[ CRYING ECHOES ]

[ CRYING ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ Speed-dialing ]

[ Ringing ]

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ Speed-dialing ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Click ]

DR. HATTARAS:
Tell me the baby's safe.

THE BABY'S SAFE.

What happened?
Where are you?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

Well...find out.

[ SIGHS ]

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

MON-- MONTY!

MONTY!

MONTY. MONTY.

MONTY. MONTY.

MONTY.

MONTY.

MON-- MONTY.

MONTY.

OKAY.

WELL, SORRY.
HE'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.

UH, SO, ANYWAY, WHAT WERE
YOU SAY-- UH, LANDSCAPING, HUH?

YEAH, YOU KNOW,
I'VE, UH --

MONTY!

COME DOWN HERE!

...NATURE AND...TREES.

HEY, HONEY,
WE GOT TO -- WE GOT TO GO.

OH, OKAY.

MONTY...

YOU HAVE THE COOLEST DAD
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

YOU KNOW THAT?
I THINK HE'S PRETTY AWESOME.

I KNOW.
BUT GUESS WHAT.

WHAT?

I HATE YOU.

OKAY, I'M GONNA
WALK THEM OUT.
OKAY, YEAH. YEAH.

EVAN...

OH, MAX.
PLEASURE.

NICE MEETING YOU.

MARSHALL, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR PLAYING WITH MONTY.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
A HELL OF A FATHER SOMEDAY.

MM.

DID YOU TELL HIM
ANYTHING ABOUT ME?

WHAT? YOU'LL ADOPT.
GAYS HAVE BABIES.

NEED HELP WITH THAT BAG,
MARSH?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT
MYSELF.

OKAY,
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I REALLY LIKE EVAN,
BUT THAT KID...

OH,
THAT KID'S A HANDFUL.

I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M READY FOR THAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT AM I GONNA TELL YOU,
KATIE KATE?

I CAN'T EVEN
GET ON AN AIRPLANE

WITHOUT KICKING AND SCREAMING
LIKE A BABY.

YOU'RE FEARLESS.

YOU GET ON AIRPLANES
ALL THE TIME.

YOU WERE THIS CLOSE
TO LIVING IN JAPAN.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP,
LITTLE GIRL.

YOU DON'T NEED ADVICE
FROM ME.

[ SMOOCHES ]

I LOVE YOU.

HAVE A GREAT FLIGHT.

Evan: MONTY! MONTY!

[ SIGHS ]

AAAH!
HI.

GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE.
NO, I-I-I'M WITH TARA.

YOU PICKED
THE WRONG HOUSE.

I'M WITH YOUR SISTER.
I'M WITH TARA.

MY HUSBAND IS IN THE MOB.
HE HAS GOT A LICENSE TO KILL.

I'M WITH YOUR SISTER.
I'M WITH --

THE COPS
ARE RIGHT OUTSIDE!!

GOD, YOU'RE GONNA WAKE
THE BABY.

WHO -- WHO IS THIS MAN?

THAT'S MY PROFESSOR,
DR. HATTARAS,

THE MAN
I'M WORKING WITH.

YOUR HUSBAND'S IN THE MOB
AND YOU ARRIVE WITH THE POLICE?

THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.

WHAT IS HE DOING
IN MY HOUSE?

[ SIGHS ]

WELL, WE --
WE HAD WORK TO DO.

AND TARA WAS PUTTING THE BABY
DOWN FOR A SNOOZE.

OH, HO, HO, HO, HO.

WHAT KIND OF WORK,
SISTER?

OH, GOD, CHARM.
YOU CAN'T BE --

ARE YOU -- COME ON.

DON'T BULLSHIT
A BULLSHITTER.

HUSBAND HASN'T BEEN GONE
FOR MORE THAN A DAY.

OH, YOU ARE WAY OFF BASE
ON THIS. I MEAN, DON'T EVEN --

DID YOU GET
YOUR HAIR DONE?

WHAT? NO.

WHAT IS THAT LOOK?
THIS IS NOT A NEW OUTFIT.

IT WAS IN THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.
I BOUGHT IT, LIKE, A MONTH AGO.

AND I DID MY NAILS
THIS MORNING.

I MEAN, GOD,
STOP JUDGING ME!

IT'S GOOD. IT'S, UH,
HIPPIE-STRIPPER-BIKER...

WOMAN.

HOW WAS WHEELS?

SH-- UH...

[ STAMMERING ]

AN ANGEL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THE BABY --
THE BABY SLEPT LIKE A BABY.

A BABY.
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

SO, WE SHOULD GO.

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF, UH,
WORK TO DO, SO...

VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

WHAT'S GOING ON.
I'M --

OH, WHATEVER.

POLICE OUTSIDE --
IS THAT REAL? 'CAUSE...

[ SIGHS ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
YOU GOT TO HELP ME.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME.

ALL RIGHT, I ASK YOU AGAIN --
WHY DID YOU TAKE THE BABY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

ALL RIGHT,
WHO TOOK THE BABY, TARA?

OH, STOP ASKING ME THAT!
I DON'T --

LOOK, YOU MAY NOT FEEL LIKE IT,
BUT THE ANSWERS ARE INSIDE YOU.

I NEED YOU TO LET ME IN, BECAUSE
I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY
WE CAN PUT IT ALL TOGETHER

AND FIND OUT
EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON.

OH, I FEEL LIKE
I'M COMING APART.

THE CONTRACT IS --

I'M LOSING PIECES.
IT'S --

LIKE CHICKEN?
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHICKEN?

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE SHE IS ANYMORE.

I CAN'T FEEL HER. THERE'S JUST
SPACE WHERE SHE USED TO BE.

IT'S...COLD.

IS IT POSSIBLE
WHOEVER TOOK THE BABY

WAS THE ONE
THAT HURT CHICKEN?

I GUESS.
I MEAN, I DON'T --

WHEN DID YOU LAST
FEEL CHICKEN?

[ SIGHS ]

IN THE CORNFIELD.

TAKE ME THERE.

Woman on P.A.:
TO ALL OUR PASSENGERS,
WE'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU...

A PRIEST.
THAT HELPS.

...TO NEW YORK CITY.

WAIT. HE -- HE WANTS TO GO
TO HEAVEN.

I'M NOT TALKING
TO YOU.

WHAT?

YOU OWE ME
AN APOLOGY.

FOR WHAT?
WHAT'D I DO?

YOU SAID,
"DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP."

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
TO YOUR OWN KID?

I'M COMPLETELY
OUT OF MY MIND TODAY.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING.

ALL THIS FLYING SHIT --

YEAH, I KNOW --
YOU'RE AFRAID OF FLYING.

BIG DEAL. LOTS OF PEOPLE
ARE AFRAID OF FLYING.

IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE
TO ACT LIKE A TOTAL DICK.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
I'VE EVER DONE.

I ASKED YOU TO COME

BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE
A GOOD TIME TOGETHER.

I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO SHARE
THIS EXPERIENCE WITH ME.

I-I DIDN'T THINK I'D
HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF
YOU THE ENTIRE TIME.

THAT'S NOT MY JOB.
I'M NOT THE FAMILY NANNY.

[ SIGHS ]

I'M JUST -- I'M FRIED.

BETWEEN YOUR MOM
AND WORK

AND YOUR SISTER AND THAT THING
WITH THAT GUY AND THAT KID?

AND YOU -- YOU'RE GROWING UP
ON ME, AND I --

I'M DOING IT AGAIN.

I-I'M SORRY.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW PROUD I AM.

Pilot: FLIGHT ATTENDANTS,
PREPARE FOR TAKEOFF.

OH, FUCK.

[ SEATBELT CLICKS ]
OKAY.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

THANK YOU, SON.

[ GROANS ]

[ GROANING LOUDER ]

DAD.
CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN.

NO. OKAY, NO.

NO. I TAKE IT BACK.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

IS THIS LEGAL? I MEAN,
IS THIS BREAKING AND ENTERING?

I DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGNS,
SO LET'S ASSUME IT'S LEGAL.

THE INTERESTING QUESTION IS,
IS IT ETHICAL?

OKAY.
IS IT ETHICAL?

IT'S IN A FUZZY AREA
BETWEEN ETHICAL AND RADICAL.

WE CAN GO BACK.

NO.

THEN WE GO ON.

AS WE DO, NOW,
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

ARE GONNA
POP INTO YOUR HEAD.

LET THEM OUT --
VOCALIZE THEM, IF YOU CAN,

NO MATTER
HOW SMALL OR SILLY,

INCONSEQUENTIAL
THEY MAY SEEM.

OKAY.

I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD HAVE
BROUGHT FLASHLIGHTS.

AND THESE SHOES
ARE NOT AS COMFORTABLE

AS I THOUGHT
THEY WOULD BE.

THAT SONG IS NOT
ABOUT WARREN BEATTY.

YEAH,
NOT ALL THOUGHTS.

LOOK, ALICE SAID

CHICKEN SUFFERED
UNSPEAKABLE THINGS IN THIS MAZE.

ANY THOUGHTS
RESONATING ON THAT?

WELL, I'M NOT REALLY GETTING
A CLEAR PICTURE.

THERE -- THERE ARE FEELINGS,
YOU KNOW?

LIKE FRAGMENTS.

UH...TASTE OF EARTH.

SMELL OF SWEAT.

GAMES.

THOSE THINGS RESONATE
ANYTHING FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD?

SHH.
DO YOU HEAR THAT?

[ CHILD SCREAMING ]

WHAT DO YOU HEAR,
TARA?

IT'S CHICKEN.
SHE'S SCREAMING.

HE'S GOT HER!

[ Crying ] CHICKEN!

TARA! TARA!

CHICKEN!

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
OH, GOD.

TARA!

[ TARA SOBBING ]

TARA?

[ SOBBING CONTINUES ]

[ Sobbing ]
SHE'S DEAD.

HE KILLED HER.

CHICKEN IS DEAD.

WHO KILLED HER?

[ SOBBING STOPS ]

[ Calm, menacing voice ]
I KILLED HER.

AND WHO ARE YOU?

OH, YOU KNOW ME.

I'M BRYCE CRAINE.

STRANGE.

I THOUGHT
YOU'D BE SMARTER.

WHY DID YOU KILL CHICKEN,
BRYCE?

CLEARLY YOU HAVEN'T SPENT
MUCH TIME WITH CHICKEN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ARE YOU THE ONE
THAT'S BEEN CUTTING TARA?

GOT A CAR?

YES.

SWEET.

WHY?
GOING SOMEWHERE?

I NEED YOU
TO TAKE ME TO TARA.

TARA? WHY TARA?

BECAUSE...

I'M GOING TO KILL HER.

COMING?

* I'VE BEEN WAITIN' *

* WAITIN' AND WISHIN' *

* WISHIN' AND HOPIN' *

* HOPIN' YOU'LL COME ALIVE
FOR ME TONIGHT, BABE *

* OHH, GOD, COME ALIVE *

* BUT I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT IT *

* SO JUST BE ABOUT IT *

* 'CAUSE AIN'T NO LOVE
LIKE A LOVE LIKE THIS *

* 'CAUSE A LOVE DON'T EXIST
WHEN A BOY WANNA PLAY SO *

* WHOA, WHOA-OH *

* WHOA, WHOA-OH *

* WHOA, WHOA-OH *

* WHOA, WHOA-OH *

* WHOA, WHOA-OH *

* WHOA, OH, GOD, COME ON *

* 'CAUSE AIN'T NO LOVE
LIKE A LOVE LIKE THIS *

* 'CAUSE A LOVE DON'T EXIST
WHEN A BOY WANNA PLAY SO *