Undetectable (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Undetectable Terrain - full transcript
During a trip home to visit his brother Jonah, Matthew contemplates revealing his status to their parents.
- Yeah Friday works.
Okay cool, and then we would
see Mom and Dad on Saturday?
Yeah.
Okay, well why don't I
just look up train times
and I'll get back to you.
Cool.
Yeah I'm excited to see you too.
Awesome, okay, talk to you later.
Hey hey.
- What's up man?
- Thank you for coming to pick me up.
- Of course, dude.
Nice coat.
- Are you making fun of me
or are you being serious
because I really like this coat.
- No I know, it's very practical.
- Shut up.
Is it good
to be out of the city?
- Yeah, it really is.
My seat belt's stuck.
My God, crazy!
Dude, you got rid of the bunk beds!
You were gonna call top?
- I'm not even gonna
make a joke about that.
Shit, we're just gonna
jump right in, is that it?
- Yeah dude, unless
you're driving somewhere.
- Touche, cheers.
- Cheers.
- Dude, this place looks
amazing, I can't believe
all the work you've put
into it, it's like a totally
different house.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
You think it's too cold to go for a walk?
- No man, we can go for a walk.
- Cool.
Like right now, right
now we're gonna go.
No way!
- Yeah man, I was in the
studio and there was all this
noise outside, so I go out
and she's just in the lake
completely nude, just splashing around.
She's like "come join me,"
like it's totally normal.
- Tee hee, everything's
fine, I'm totally cool!
Tee hee, forget
about that other thing,
just be spontaneous!
- You totally fucked her again didn't you?
Jonah!
- I know, the sex was so good though.
- I'm sure it was, but if
you keep sending her mixed
signals like that, she's
gonna keep coming around.
- Yeah, I feel like sort of
a dick but I kinda ghosted
her after that.
- Come on man, don't do that shit.
- What else was I supposed to do?
- I don't know, but like,
having been on the receiving
end of that, it's pretty shitty.
- Look man I'm sorry, but this
is not what happened with you
and Daniel, like what
he did was sociopathic.
If she had called me and
been like, I don't know,
pregnant or something, I probably would
have called her back.
- Yeah you're right, it's stupid.
Anyway...
- Yeah, anyway.
What about you, what about
that guy you went out with?
- He's been persistent.
- And?
- And I don't know, I'm
still getting over Daniel.
- Wouldn't waste too much time on that.
- Yeah it's complicated.
You know me, I'm just like
over analyzing everything.
I wish I could just like
snap myself two years in the
future when I'm totally cool
with everything and anyone
who needs to know knows and
I just feel normal again.
- That's why you're here, right?
To start the process.
- Yeah, I guess.
It's cold.
- The fur is not keeping you warm?
- Shut up, I knew you were
gonna stay that, dick.
- Well, we should
probably get back anyway.
I wanted to have dinner ready
before Charlie got here.
- You are so his bitch man.
When are you guys gonna
just like drop all these
pretenses and just admit
that you love one another?
- Just waiting for him to say it first.
- I feel like I'm not doing
anything, can I help you?
- No no no, I'm good, just chill out.
- Is this Mom?
- Yeah, Dad found all these
old recordings in the attic.
- Wow!
- Listen.
- Shit.
- You okay?
Yeah, I just, yeah I
have to take them at the same
time every day, and you know
my work schedule is just
so weird that I can't really
take them at night before
I go to bed and I don't wanna
take them when I wake up
in the morning, so I like
to take them at four in the
afternoon, and I just keep forgetting.
- But you're gonna be okay.
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!
It's just not go skip a
whole day, but I'll be fine,
I'm sorry.
So you gonna
tell Mom and Dad tomorrow?
- Yeah that was the plan, but--
- Do you want me to be
there with you or would you
rather be alone?
- I don't know.
- I'm just gonna feel it out
and see, I don't even know
it it's...
I'm sorry.
- You know you don't have to
apologize after everything
you say.
- Where do you keep the red wine glasses?
- Matthew, Matty!
- Look obviously my intention
was to tell them when I came
home but now I'm here and just,
I don't know, I don't know
if it's the right time.
- Like for you or for them?
- For everyone!
- Look man you know I'm
gonna support you no matter
what you decide, but this
is exactly like when you
came out of the closet.
You have to tell them.
- This isn't like me coming out, Jonah.
Look, this is also really new for me too.
I'm just not sure if I wanna
burden Mom and Dad with this
information until I have
a better idea of how I can
help them understand it,
help them cope with it.
- That's probably Charlie.
Look man, I didn't mean to upset you.
- I'm not upset.
- Look let's just chill
out, we'll have a good time
tonight, tomorrow you'll decide
if you wanna tell them or
not, okay?
You don't have to decide right now, okay?
Are you cool?
It's your neighbor Gladys!
I'm so horny!
- Let the debauchery begin!
Yo yo yo!
Look at this beautiful
specimen of a man!
- Charlie put me down!
- Dude that smells amazing, I'm starving!
- Let's eat!
You're the man.
But anyway, let's talk more about dicks.
Do girls like big dicks?
I'm asking you.
- Yeah, does size matter?
- Like long and thin has never
done anyone any good, right?
Yeah I guess.
Long and thick, same problem.
Something thick and
short, that's always nice.
Like a chode,
seriously like a chode?
- No, not chodey!
- So chodey is a check plus.
- I don't know, when you
say chode I think of like
a penis head sitting in a bush.
Yeah.
- Chode stool.
- Chode stool!
- Yeah, so you must have a huge cock.
It's unwieldy!
It's always the same
thing, Jonah, he was the A
student, he was an amazing
musician, you make a living
doing that by the way, which
I don't make a living doing
what I love to do, and to
top it all off, you have
Grandmom's red hair which Dad just loves!
- I can't help that, I mean...
I have a tiny cock.
- Pew pew.
- That's basically the noise
it makes when it shoots lasers.
Jonah, how do you know that?
- Because we're brothers,
my dick does the same thing.
- You heard it late in the
night, you heard the lasers
going off.
- We shared a room for 18 years.
- Yeah, it was like a laser rock show.
- I mean I guess it could be worse.
- Yeah, you could have AIDS.
Sorry, I don't know why that
just came out of my mouth.
I'm sorry man.
- Do you just think like
all gay people have AIDS,
is that what you're saying?
- No no, I mean like, no
like, anyone can have AIDS,
like my teacher from high
school could have AIDS,
I could have AIDS.
No no, I wasn't saying like all gays--
- I'm just fucking with you.
My, don't do that man!
- Did you think I was serious?
- Yeah, you scared the shit out of me.
I thought you were like offended,
it was just like whatever,
it's a joke people make,
everybody jokes about AIDS.
- I'm gonna clean up,
you guys want anything
from the kitchen?
- Let me help you.
- No no no no no, you made
dinner, you brought the hooch.
Just let me get this stuff.
Matt?
- I'm good, I'll be out in just a second.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm sorry I don't know
where this is coming from.
- Don't listen to Charlie
man, you know how he is,
he's stupid, he says stuff like that.
- I know I know, it's
not him, it's just...
I keep thinking about
tomorrow and i don't know,
I just don't know if I
can tell Mom and Dad,
they're just the most important
people to me, and I'm just
so scared that this is
gonna be the one thing that
they can't handle.
It's just gonna destroy them.
I'm sorry.
- Stop apologizing.
You know you have to tell them sometime.
Maybe not tomorrow, but
you have to tell them.
You're hurting them more
when you shut them out.
- You're right.
- Matty, we're your family.
We're here to support you, yeah?
- Yeah, I know.
- And we love yo.
- I love you.
I don't know what I would do without you.
I'm sorry, okay.
Yeah yeah yeah, I'm gonna
go back out with Charlie.
- Yeah you're good.
- Yeah, I know.
- You okay?
- Yeah, I just need a minute.
- Yeah, can I get you anything?
- No no no, just don't say
anything to Charlie, okay?
Hey.
- Hey, where's Jonah?
- I think he's using the bathroom.
You smoke already?
- What?
- Your eyes are all bloodshot.
You want another hit?
- No I'm good, I don't wanna get paranoid.
You worry a lot?
- Yeah I guess.
- I know I'm like just your
brother's friend, but I feel
like we've hang out enough
that I can like say this,
I just feel like sometimes
you stop yourself from saying
what you really wanna
say, you're like afraid of
losing control.
- Does anyone like losing control?
- Yeah, you can't control what
other people think of you,
you know?
You sure?
- Yeah you peer pressured me.
God, you know what, I do.
I do care what other people
think of me, I don't know why.
I guess it's a control
thing, I don't know.
- I don't know man, I just
feel like maybe you have
like a limited view of life
and the world around you.
- How so?
- When you really care about
what other people think,
that's when you censor yourself.
And that sucks man.
What if what you were gonna
say is so important to hear,
it's like exactly what
they needed to hear?
I don't know, the journey
that your life takes,
it's not just yours, man.
You share it because of
all the experiences you hit
along the way, the people
you see, the people you
touch, the things you
touch, a lot of touching.
None of us should be
like isolated or left out
or not say what we wanna say.
Because we're all one, man.
Look at all this, look at this view!
What could be so stressful
in your little tiny life
that all this can't fix?
You okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah I'm high.
- So what are your needs
right now in this moment,
what are your needs?
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Well I definitely wanna
keep talking about the
universe and stars and
like energy and shit and...
- Yeah man, don't censor yourself!
- I really want some chocolate.
- You want some chocolate?
Yeah!
- Let's get some chocolate, man!
Yeah!
And I want another hit!
- Rule number one of getting
stoned man, don't look
in the mirror.
- I don't know if you ever
had this experience when you
were little, I'd be washing
my hands in the bathroom,
and I'd look up and I'd catch
my reflection and I would
say to myself "Matthew,
you're a real person."
And it would just freak me out, you know?
But I couldn't stop
saying it, it was like,
Matthew, you're real!
You're a real person!
And it was like in that
moment like I knew that I
was gonna grow up and I knew
that I was gonna get old
and I knew that I was gonna die.
But I couldn't stop saying
it whenever I would see
my reflection so I would
just avoid mirrors.
- I don't know man, I
think I was just too busy
with my LEGOs to be having
like an existential crisis.
- Sometimes I'll just be
going about my day and I'll
forget I have this new
part of myself that I have
to be responsible for.
And I see my stuff or I
find a reflection and I just
stop, and it's like.
Because I look at myself and
I feel the same and I think
I look the same but...
I know that my body's different now.
- Body is just a temporary
home for the soul.
- Yeah.
Thanks for going on my journey with me.
I think it's time for me to go to bed.
- Yeah, I think it's probably best.
Do you want me to get the door?
- Please.
- Goodnight.
- Hey, I love you.
- I love you too man.
Sweet dreams.
- Thanks.
- Morning.
Hey, morning.
- Are you hungry?
- No not yet.
Hey do you still have
Mom's music on the iPod?
- Hey breakfast is ready!
- Okay.
Okay cool, and then we would
see Mom and Dad on Saturday?
Yeah.
Okay, well why don't I
just look up train times
and I'll get back to you.
Cool.
Yeah I'm excited to see you too.
Awesome, okay, talk to you later.
Hey hey.
- What's up man?
- Thank you for coming to pick me up.
- Of course, dude.
Nice coat.
- Are you making fun of me
or are you being serious
because I really like this coat.
- No I know, it's very practical.
- Shut up.
Is it good
to be out of the city?
- Yeah, it really is.
My seat belt's stuck.
My God, crazy!
Dude, you got rid of the bunk beds!
You were gonna call top?
- I'm not even gonna
make a joke about that.
Shit, we're just gonna
jump right in, is that it?
- Yeah dude, unless
you're driving somewhere.
- Touche, cheers.
- Cheers.
- Dude, this place looks
amazing, I can't believe
all the work you've put
into it, it's like a totally
different house.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
You think it's too cold to go for a walk?
- No man, we can go for a walk.
- Cool.
Like right now, right
now we're gonna go.
No way!
- Yeah man, I was in the
studio and there was all this
noise outside, so I go out
and she's just in the lake
completely nude, just splashing around.
She's like "come join me,"
like it's totally normal.
- Tee hee, everything's
fine, I'm totally cool!
Tee hee, forget
about that other thing,
just be spontaneous!
- You totally fucked her again didn't you?
Jonah!
- I know, the sex was so good though.
- I'm sure it was, but if
you keep sending her mixed
signals like that, she's
gonna keep coming around.
- Yeah, I feel like sort of
a dick but I kinda ghosted
her after that.
- Come on man, don't do that shit.
- What else was I supposed to do?
- I don't know, but like,
having been on the receiving
end of that, it's pretty shitty.
- Look man I'm sorry, but this
is not what happened with you
and Daniel, like what
he did was sociopathic.
If she had called me and
been like, I don't know,
pregnant or something, I probably would
have called her back.
- Yeah you're right, it's stupid.
Anyway...
- Yeah, anyway.
What about you, what about
that guy you went out with?
- He's been persistent.
- And?
- And I don't know, I'm
still getting over Daniel.
- Wouldn't waste too much time on that.
- Yeah it's complicated.
You know me, I'm just like
over analyzing everything.
I wish I could just like
snap myself two years in the
future when I'm totally cool
with everything and anyone
who needs to know knows and
I just feel normal again.
- That's why you're here, right?
To start the process.
- Yeah, I guess.
It's cold.
- The fur is not keeping you warm?
- Shut up, I knew you were
gonna stay that, dick.
- Well, we should
probably get back anyway.
I wanted to have dinner ready
before Charlie got here.
- You are so his bitch man.
When are you guys gonna
just like drop all these
pretenses and just admit
that you love one another?
- Just waiting for him to say it first.
- I feel like I'm not doing
anything, can I help you?
- No no no, I'm good, just chill out.
- Is this Mom?
- Yeah, Dad found all these
old recordings in the attic.
- Wow!
- Listen.
- Shit.
- You okay?
Yeah, I just, yeah I
have to take them at the same
time every day, and you know
my work schedule is just
so weird that I can't really
take them at night before
I go to bed and I don't wanna
take them when I wake up
in the morning, so I like
to take them at four in the
afternoon, and I just keep forgetting.
- But you're gonna be okay.
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!
It's just not go skip a
whole day, but I'll be fine,
I'm sorry.
So you gonna
tell Mom and Dad tomorrow?
- Yeah that was the plan, but--
- Do you want me to be
there with you or would you
rather be alone?
- I don't know.
- I'm just gonna feel it out
and see, I don't even know
it it's...
I'm sorry.
- You know you don't have to
apologize after everything
you say.
- Where do you keep the red wine glasses?
- Matthew, Matty!
- Look obviously my intention
was to tell them when I came
home but now I'm here and just,
I don't know, I don't know
if it's the right time.
- Like for you or for them?
- For everyone!
- Look man you know I'm
gonna support you no matter
what you decide, but this
is exactly like when you
came out of the closet.
You have to tell them.
- This isn't like me coming out, Jonah.
Look, this is also really new for me too.
I'm just not sure if I wanna
burden Mom and Dad with this
information until I have
a better idea of how I can
help them understand it,
help them cope with it.
- That's probably Charlie.
Look man, I didn't mean to upset you.
- I'm not upset.
- Look let's just chill
out, we'll have a good time
tonight, tomorrow you'll decide
if you wanna tell them or
not, okay?
You don't have to decide right now, okay?
Are you cool?
It's your neighbor Gladys!
I'm so horny!
- Let the debauchery begin!
Yo yo yo!
Look at this beautiful
specimen of a man!
- Charlie put me down!
- Dude that smells amazing, I'm starving!
- Let's eat!
You're the man.
But anyway, let's talk more about dicks.
Do girls like big dicks?
I'm asking you.
- Yeah, does size matter?
- Like long and thin has never
done anyone any good, right?
Yeah I guess.
Long and thick, same problem.
Something thick and
short, that's always nice.
Like a chode,
seriously like a chode?
- No, not chodey!
- So chodey is a check plus.
- I don't know, when you
say chode I think of like
a penis head sitting in a bush.
Yeah.
- Chode stool.
- Chode stool!
- Yeah, so you must have a huge cock.
It's unwieldy!
It's always the same
thing, Jonah, he was the A
student, he was an amazing
musician, you make a living
doing that by the way, which
I don't make a living doing
what I love to do, and to
top it all off, you have
Grandmom's red hair which Dad just loves!
- I can't help that, I mean...
I have a tiny cock.
- Pew pew.
- That's basically the noise
it makes when it shoots lasers.
Jonah, how do you know that?
- Because we're brothers,
my dick does the same thing.
- You heard it late in the
night, you heard the lasers
going off.
- We shared a room for 18 years.
- Yeah, it was like a laser rock show.
- I mean I guess it could be worse.
- Yeah, you could have AIDS.
Sorry, I don't know why that
just came out of my mouth.
I'm sorry man.
- Do you just think like
all gay people have AIDS,
is that what you're saying?
- No no, I mean like, no
like, anyone can have AIDS,
like my teacher from high
school could have AIDS,
I could have AIDS.
No no, I wasn't saying like all gays--
- I'm just fucking with you.
My, don't do that man!
- Did you think I was serious?
- Yeah, you scared the shit out of me.
I thought you were like offended,
it was just like whatever,
it's a joke people make,
everybody jokes about AIDS.
- I'm gonna clean up,
you guys want anything
from the kitchen?
- Let me help you.
- No no no no no, you made
dinner, you brought the hooch.
Just let me get this stuff.
Matt?
- I'm good, I'll be out in just a second.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm sorry I don't know
where this is coming from.
- Don't listen to Charlie
man, you know how he is,
he's stupid, he says stuff like that.
- I know I know, it's
not him, it's just...
I keep thinking about
tomorrow and i don't know,
I just don't know if I
can tell Mom and Dad,
they're just the most important
people to me, and I'm just
so scared that this is
gonna be the one thing that
they can't handle.
It's just gonna destroy them.
I'm sorry.
- Stop apologizing.
You know you have to tell them sometime.
Maybe not tomorrow, but
you have to tell them.
You're hurting them more
when you shut them out.
- You're right.
- Matty, we're your family.
We're here to support you, yeah?
- Yeah, I know.
- And we love yo.
- I love you.
I don't know what I would do without you.
I'm sorry, okay.
Yeah yeah yeah, I'm gonna
go back out with Charlie.
- Yeah you're good.
- Yeah, I know.
- You okay?
- Yeah, I just need a minute.
- Yeah, can I get you anything?
- No no no, just don't say
anything to Charlie, okay?
Hey.
- Hey, where's Jonah?
- I think he's using the bathroom.
You smoke already?
- What?
- Your eyes are all bloodshot.
You want another hit?
- No I'm good, I don't wanna get paranoid.
You worry a lot?
- Yeah I guess.
- I know I'm like just your
brother's friend, but I feel
like we've hang out enough
that I can like say this,
I just feel like sometimes
you stop yourself from saying
what you really wanna
say, you're like afraid of
losing control.
- Does anyone like losing control?
- Yeah, you can't control what
other people think of you,
you know?
You sure?
- Yeah you peer pressured me.
God, you know what, I do.
I do care what other people
think of me, I don't know why.
I guess it's a control
thing, I don't know.
- I don't know man, I just
feel like maybe you have
like a limited view of life
and the world around you.
- How so?
- When you really care about
what other people think,
that's when you censor yourself.
And that sucks man.
What if what you were gonna
say is so important to hear,
it's like exactly what
they needed to hear?
I don't know, the journey
that your life takes,
it's not just yours, man.
You share it because of
all the experiences you hit
along the way, the people
you see, the people you
touch, the things you
touch, a lot of touching.
None of us should be
like isolated or left out
or not say what we wanna say.
Because we're all one, man.
Look at all this, look at this view!
What could be so stressful
in your little tiny life
that all this can't fix?
You okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah I'm high.
- So what are your needs
right now in this moment,
what are your needs?
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Well I definitely wanna
keep talking about the
universe and stars and
like energy and shit and...
- Yeah man, don't censor yourself!
- I really want some chocolate.
- You want some chocolate?
Yeah!
- Let's get some chocolate, man!
Yeah!
And I want another hit!
- Rule number one of getting
stoned man, don't look
in the mirror.
- I don't know if you ever
had this experience when you
were little, I'd be washing
my hands in the bathroom,
and I'd look up and I'd catch
my reflection and I would
say to myself "Matthew,
you're a real person."
And it would just freak me out, you know?
But I couldn't stop
saying it, it was like,
Matthew, you're real!
You're a real person!
And it was like in that
moment like I knew that I
was gonna grow up and I knew
that I was gonna get old
and I knew that I was gonna die.
But I couldn't stop saying
it whenever I would see
my reflection so I would
just avoid mirrors.
- I don't know man, I
think I was just too busy
with my LEGOs to be having
like an existential crisis.
- Sometimes I'll just be
going about my day and I'll
forget I have this new
part of myself that I have
to be responsible for.
And I see my stuff or I
find a reflection and I just
stop, and it's like.
Because I look at myself and
I feel the same and I think
I look the same but...
I know that my body's different now.
- Body is just a temporary
home for the soul.
- Yeah.
Thanks for going on my journey with me.
I think it's time for me to go to bed.
- Yeah, I think it's probably best.
Do you want me to get the door?
- Please.
- Goodnight.
- Hey, I love you.
- I love you too man.
Sweet dreams.
- Thanks.
- Morning.
Hey, morning.
- Are you hungry?
- No not yet.
Hey do you still have
Mom's music on the iPod?
- Hey breakfast is ready!
- Okay.