UnREAL (2015–2018): Season 2, Episode 9 - Espionage - full transcript

As Coleman attempts to get Rachel to help him destroy Quinn and bring down Everlasting, Rachel has an alternative plan in store.

He's my producer.

You want to talk to me,
you go through him.

Nice work. I guess that means
you're my new Number Two.

You're smart.
You're articulate.

I mean,
you've got it all.

Where did that
come from?

You know I have
major daddy issues.

I think I may be
falling in love with you.

And I want children.

You had your chance,
and you blew it.

You're done.



They're blaming
the whole shooting on you?

They blew up your career.

So, why do you care?

Because I'm a reporter.

That woman Mary
who jumped off the roof

last year --
that was a murder.

-Who's your source?
-Jeremy.

I've got him on tape.

You want to work together?

This piece
will be unstoppable.

I need you to walk us
through it, step by step.

We lied.
We covered it up,

and they should have just
arrested us,

'cause we killed her.



I-I need
to tell you something.

Th is not
about the show.

It's about me and my mom --
That I was raped

by one of her patients
at her house when I was 12.

And she blamed me

because she was protecting
her practice.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

That's the truth.

No matter what anybody else
says, we killed her.

[ Voice distorts in reverse ]

And also Quinn.

I mean, she's the one
that told me

not to say anything, you know,

because everybody's always
trying to shut me up.

[ Voice distorts in reverse ]

...no, but you know that
I didn't even know about it.

[ Voice distorts in reverse ]
That's the truth.

[ Voice distorts in reverse ]
Oh, yeah.

We call the cops,
like, all the time.

Coleman: Call the cops?

Yeah, we call them all the time.

[ Voice distorts in reverse ]

Quinn -- I mean, she's the one

that told me
not to say anything,

and so I listened to her,

because she told me
not to tell anybody.

[ Rewinds ]
Yeah, wow.

We should have called the police
a lot sooner with Mary.

Hey.

[ Rewinds ]

-Hey.
-What is that?

What are you doing?

Um...this is our story.

It's not the car pullover

or what the cops did,
none of that.

It's this.
"Everlasting."

The whole
despicable culture --

the deceit, the lies,
back-stabbing, and cover-ups.

No. I-I --
Coleman,

I shouldn't have said
any of this stuff.

Oh, my gosh. Rachel --
No, you had to,

because you're a good person,
and --
I -- Listen,
we have to erase this.

There's no erasing
this, Rachel.

-I need --
-This isn't going anywhere.

I-I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna, like,
take down the show.

I'm not doing that to Quinn.
-Rachel.

No way.
How do we do this?

Oh, my gosh.
"To Quinn."

How do I --
Um, how do I erase this?

It just amazes me how she
just plays you, Rachel.

I guess after
meeting your mother,

I shouldn't be
so surprised at this.

What do you mean
by meeting my mother?

I didn't mean --
I'm saying Quinn is smart.

Mm-hmm.
And she pretends
to care about you,

just a little bit
here and there

just 'cause she knows you
need it, because you're human.

Rachel, what would she do
if she actually cared about you?

She'd have you get the hell
out of this place,

because it's killing you.

Quinn is killing you.

You said it yourself
right there --

all roads
lead back to her.

We have to expose her
for who she is.

I just really don't think

that we need to do anything,
actually.
I disagree.

Coleman, it just feels
like you're concerned

about your career,
which I understand --
I am.

But I'm here to tell you that
you will get another job.

This is --
No, Rachel,
you couldn't be more right.

I am so concerned
about my career,

because all
this crazy shit --

She's gonna try and pin it
on me, everything.
Mm-hmm.

But she's gonna try
to pin it on you, too.

You don't see that?
Oh, my gosh.

They killed someone,
so they'll say you were crazy,

you were in a mental
institution,

they'll say whatever --

They'll do whatever
they have to do.

It's up to you,

but we need evidence
to take Quinn down.

It's your decision.
You have to choose.

Is it gonna be you
or Quinn?

If it's you, then you need
to get back in with Quinn.

♪♪

ReEncoded By Dr.XJ
PSA
www.PSArips.com

Well, here we are.

I don't need to tell you
what it means

to have made it down
to the Final Three.

Today Darius is gonna take
each of you out on a date

that he has chosen
especially for you.

The stakes...
could not be higher.

All right, that's a cut!
Moving on.

That's a cut.
One take, that's it?

-Graham.
-"The stakes" --

You go save the girls
from that nympho.

"The stakes
could not be higher."

I'd rather shoot myself.

Hey,
I need to talk to you.

What's up, Big Money?

Listen, um, I know
I'm supposed to pick Tiffany,

but I'm --
-No, no, no. Stop. Stop.

Don't think of it
as "picking" Tiffany,

think of it
as securing a future

for yourself
with her father.

Pretty amazing future

considering football's
not really an option.

Jay! Shh!
Damn it!

I get that, okay?
You don't think I get that?

-[ Groans ]
-Tell the world, why don't you.

Look, I'm not
humiliating Chantal

on national television.
I'm not doing it.

It won't happen, okay?
She's a sweet girl.

She doesn't deserve that.

Okay, but Yael does?

Yael can handle herself.

Look, black women all over
America are going to hate me

if I cut Chantal
for Tiffany.

Ah, well look at you

for finally jumping
on the race train.

Jay, seriously -- Look, make
this happen for me, okay?

Get Chantal to drop out
and make it her own idea.

[ Scoffs ]

That way at least somebody
can leave here

with some dignity.

Okay. I got you.
I got this.

I'm fine, really, all good.
Thanks.

[ Door opens ]

It's all on here.

Jeremy just let loose
about everything.

He's so pissed at them.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Jeremy: They're murderers,
and they kicked me off the set?

Who do they think they are?
-[ Scoffs ]

T-they can't just do whatever
they want--

-This is great stuff.
-So what next?

You just win "Everlasting."

Your editor was right --

an exposé coming from
this season's winner --

That's gonna blow things up.

Well done.

Hey!
So, um...

any tips for getting
Darius interested?

Trust me,
he's interested.

Oh, yeah?

When is he gonna
start to show it?

You know
I'm with Rachel, right?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Sure, you are.

Coleman: Oh, God.

Till next time.

[ Sighs ]

John: Oh, come on.

I thought that went
rather swimmingly.

'Cause you didn't have
a cattle prod

shoved up your vagina.

Ah, but you took it
like a champ.

-Mm.
-Now we just wait for Dr. Gupta

to look over the ultrasound
and get back to us.

It's concierge care.
We'll have results in 24 hours.

You know, I'm just surprised

that she didn't laugh me
out of her office.

We've talked about this before.
Age is just a number.

Remember --
I'm a workaholic, okay?

And I love being
a workaholic,

and that is a recipe
for raising a stripper.

Nope. Strippers --
absent father. Next?

[ Giggles ]

Okay, what if our kid's
a raging dick?

Nannies' problem.

Neglect that --
We'll move to the next.

Ugh...

[ Groans ] Look --
My car's almost here.

Mm.

Well, get to it,
my little workaholic.

-Mm.
-Mwah.

Just make sure to keep
that womb warm and dry.

Ew.

-Cozy? I'm new at this.
-Stop, okay?

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye. See you.

[ Laughs ]
What?!

You never seen
anyone kiss before?

[ Indistinct radio chatter ]

[ Sighs ]

What are you doing here?

You, uh,
go to the doctor's office?

Oh, are you talking
to me now?

Is that something
we're doing?

Look, Quinn, I, um...

I want
to go back to work.

Well, I appreciate that,
but Jay has Darius covered.

He's my new Number Two, and
Madison is covering the rest.

♪♪

Okay. Uh, well --

Come on, Rachel.

Why don't you
just sit this one out?

You've had a rough
couple of weeks.

I'm totally fine.
Seriously.

I, um -- I actually
could use a little help.

Perfect. Madison
could use some help.

Yeah, I, um --
I need someone

to steam Tiffany's outfit
for her date.

Dream on, clueless.
There is no way

that I am going to take orders
from a girl

whose one claim
to producing

is how much of her boss
she can keep in her mouth.

You know, I saw Coleman

sneaking out of Yael's room
this morning.

I wouldn't be surprised
if there was a little

boss-in-mouth action
happening there.

A hot version of you is
stealing your little boyfriend

right out
from under your nose.

So, who's clueless now?

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Okay.
...she's into you,
and she's sexy.

She doesn't flaunt it.
Just -- just have fun.

Darius, you look really good.
It's great to see you.
Bitch, please.

Can I just talk to you
for a second?

Yeah, sure, what's going --

She's got
some huge balls.

So, why don't you tell me
about Yael?

[ Laughter ]

-Okay, what about her?
-Why don't you tell me?

I'm very curious to hear
what you have to say.

I have no idea what
we're talking about right now.

Well, you want to just take it
from the beginning?

There was you and then her
in her room this morning.

-Goldberg.
-Huh?

I was doing my job.

Oh, actually,
you don't have a job.

You're in TV jail.
-Come with me.

What is it? What's the prob--
Excuse me.

The crew doesn't know that,
the girls don't know that.

They think
I'm still the showrunner.

So, Yael's pissed she's not
getting enough screen time.

She wants more one-on-one time
with Darius,

yada, yada, yada, it was --
-Right.

And so, you're just like
a shoulder for her to cry on?

Yeah, she got flirty,
she made a pass at me,

but I shut it down
because I'm with you, 100%.

We're on the same
team here.

Rachel.

Don't push away

the one person here
who actually cares about you.

Jay: Hey, girl.

Look...I know

that must have been pretty rough
for you last night.

It was humiliating,
and I don't know

why Darius
would do that to me.

It wasn't fair.

Okay, look -- Let me --
Are you miked right now?

Just let me turn this off.
-I'm always miked.

[ Mike shuts off ]

Listen -- I'm really not
supposed to do this,

but Darius insisted.

He wanted me to tell you

that he's picking Tiffany
in the end.

Wait, what?!

-Just keep it down.
-So it's over?

Seriously, girl, because
Quinn would murder me

if she knew I told you.

Great. Great.
So I'll be humiliated again.

-No. No.
-This show.

Honey, I don't want that
for you, okay?

And Darius doesn't want that
for you, either.

He likes you, Chantal.

He thinks
you're an amazing woman,

and he thinks you deserve
to go out on your own terms.

I thought we had something.
You know?

I know it sounds crazy

[scoffs] but I really,
really like him.

Chantal, honey, listen --
Every season, runner-ups

always say the same thing
to me --

"I wish I would have
asked to leave

before I could get dumped."

Darius is giving you
that opportunity.

[ Scoffs ]

Madison: Um, does anyone have
eyes on Hot Rachel?

I need her in hair
and make-up STAT.

Go for Rachel.

I'll take care
of Hot Rachel.

Oh, um, thanks. Copy.

Happy to.

So, at the elimination ceremony,
you'll tell Darius,

and you'll tell the world,
you really like him,

you had such a wonderful
time here,

but you're just not
in love with him.

[ Voice breaking ]
So I just go home?

Listen, when you leave,

you will be able to get
any man you want.

Trust me.

If you were a dude,
I would be all over this.

Okay?

Okay.

[ Keys jangling ]

[ Yael
speaks indistinctly ]

Oh, excuse me.
Can I borrow her for a minute?

-Sure.
-You look amazing.

Thank you, Rachel.
Hey, how are you doing?

Oh, thank God,
you're so sweet.

I'm actually
doing really fine.

-Yeah? Good.
-Yeah, I am.

You know, Madison wants
to get you in hair and make-up

to prep for your date.
-Oh!

Are you taking orders
from Madison now?

[ Laughs ] Yeah, just doing
my job, just doing my job.

-Actually --
-Huh?

You know what would be
a huge help?
Huh?

Could you grab my dress for me,
from my room, the blue one?

Y-yeah, I'd love to.
The blue dress.

I will --
I will be right back.

She's waiting for you.

-Thank you. Thanks.
-I'll be back in two.

♪♪

Chet:
Well, well, well.

If it isn't Princess Grace
herself.

Hey, classy move that was
last night boning Darius.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Oh, I don't see how
that's any of your business.

Actually, it's exactly
my business.

We have a saying around here --
sluts get cut.

Let me guess -- If I had
screwed, say, you,

I wouldn't be a slut,
now, would I?

I guess we'll never find out,
will we?

-I like Darius...
-Mm-hmm.

...and I intend to win.

And if that doesn't
make you happy, I'm sorry,

but that's the way it is.

[ Door opens ]

♪♪

Yael, hey.
So, there's a flag on the play.

The costume assistant was
steaming your blue dress,

and she burned a hole in it.

-Are you serious?
-I'm serious.

Let me just be
the first to apologize.

But, look,
I did find this dress.

You know,
it could be great.

White looks amazing on you --
pop at sunset.

Yeah -- I mean, I guess
I don't have a choice.

You're -- seriously?
You're saving my life.

[ Sarcastically ]
Yeah, thank you, Rachel!

-I'm so sorry.
-Thanks.

Okay, I've got a firm grip
on the shaft.

Now you just have to
whack it, okay?

I just whack it?
That's what you want me to do?

You want me to whack it?
-Look --

Or whack off.
Please, something more exciting!

I mean, these two screwed
last night,

and now they're doing
a commercial for Florida.

Well, these are the dates
that Darius wanted, so --

So, I'm sorry,
you were telling me

what a suitor wants
as if I would ever even care.

You're his producer,

and you're supposed to be
my Number Two.

So maybe that promotion
was a little premature.

Jay: Let me remind you
that you promoted me

because I'm the one
that brought Darius back.

Yeah,
and you're the only one

willing to be
his little bitch.

I mean, if this is the best
that you can do,

then no wonder you only
have only one girl left,

in your year of black power,
no less.
[ Sighs ]

So, please, somebody get
out there and help me out.

Pants him, light her hair
on fire, anything!

I know you think Tiffany's
a shoo-in,

but I've still got
two girls left,

and one of them is black.

You can just calm down,
Malcolm X, 'cause Chantal --

She's actually dropping out
at the elimination ceremony.

Did you say something
to her?

What did you say?
You can't do that!

Well, I can and did,
so you better hope

Hot Rachel brings it, bitch,
'cause she's your only hope.

Tiffany: Oh, and go!
It's -- Oh!

[ Water spraying ]
Oh, my God!

-[ Laughs ] Yes!
-Hold up.

[ Laughs ]
Finally, somebody's getting wet!

Tiffany: Oh, my -- Oh, my God!
That's my -- Please let --

Okay, come here, come here,
come here, come here.

Cut it! Damn it!

Can somebody tell me what
the hell happened, anybody?

No, nobody?
-Put down those sprinklers.

Put down those sprinklers.
-A bunch of idiots.

-You good?
-Yeah.

All right. I'll talk to you
in a little bit, okay?

Wait! Hey.
You know, we --

We really haven't gotten
a chance to, you know,

talk away from the cameras
since last night.

You know what? Let me -- Let me
get out of these wet clothes,

and then we can finish this,
okay?

What's going on with you?
Are you okay?

I-I thought we had
a really nice time.

[ Jostling ]

Chet, did you seriously
just turn the sprinklers on?

What are you, 12?

Hey, you heard Quinn.
They have, like, zero chemistry.

Chet, their chemistry
is not the issue.

And since when are you
off Team Tiffany?

Uh, since I want to help
the television show.

Oh, my God.
You're screwing her.

I kissed her once.

Chet, seriously,
you kissed her?!

That's so much worse!
[ Groans ]

Last night might have been
just a little too fast, okay?

I'm sorry I took advantage
of you like that.

"Took advantage"?

Darius, no.
You didn't.

You did not take advantage.
You came back.

You came back
and you saved me...
I did.

-...because of -- of...
-I did.

...how we feel
about each other.

Right.
I got to go.

I'll catch up with
you later, okay?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Quinn: I am serious, people.

I cannot sit through
another date

that blows a hot, dry wind
through my vagina.

Somebody get me excited.
Madison.

Uh, excited vagina --
I can -- I can do that.

-[ Sighs ]
-It's like watching Bambi

stumble through
the woods, huh?

What?

Let me entertain you.

Why?

Because I want back in.

I'm listening.

Okay, well,
you need something

that you can build
an episode on,

a moment that people will be
talking about tomorrow.

Mm.
I know that look.

Who's your target?

Yael.

Oh, Real Rachel
versus Hot Rachel.

Go for it.

Thanks.

[ Door opens ]

[ Sighs ]

Rachel: Well, I just
wanted to tell you

that Darius found out

that your favorite food
is sashimi, right?

Yeah, and he ordered
your favorite dish

from your
favorite restaurant.

Sushi Nishi-Ya?

Sushi Nishi-Ya, yellowtail,
scallion, ponzu.

-Oh, my God, really?
-Yeah.

-That is so sweet of him.
-So sweet of him. Yeah.

Well, actually, I think
he just wants something

that you'll actually eat.
-Hmm?

Do you know about Tiffany

and her whole thing
with the salads?

Oh, yeah -- raw kale,

2 tablespoons of dressing
on the side.

No, it's 1 tablespoon.
Crazy, right?

Anyways, they had a date today.
It was terrible.

He's just looking for someone
he can eat with,

be himself with,
so work your magic.

The white dress --
perfect.

-Thank you, Rachel.
-Anytime.

Okay,
what's up with you?

What are you
talking about?

You were way
too happy, Rachel.

What is your sneaky,
little ass up to?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm just, like, producing
a TV show, Number Two.

Living the dream.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

[ Glasses clink ]

-To a wonderful evening.
-To a first date.

Bad girl. You know,
you shouldn't be up here.

[ Sighs ]

Yael gets dinner and dancing
by the pool,

and I get golf?

What is this,
some kind of joke?

Well, Darius gets
to pick the dates.

We should have done this
well before now, seriously.

I mean, I've been trying
to get your attention,

but it's just the way
the show is, you know?

Quinn: Well, that would get
his attention.

And after last night --
Darius should be

on his knees begging me
to be with him.

You're absolutely right.

Any guy in his right mind

would give his left nut
for a taste of you.

[ Laughs ]

[ Yael moans ]

Someone hasn't eaten in weeks.

You want a taste?

Yes, I do.

[ Chuckles ]

Do you, uh, want to get in
on this?

I do not get down
with the raw fish.

But I will get down
on this chicken teriyaki.

Hmm. Got to say,
I love the way you eat.

I spent some time
in the south of France.

Eating there is
a very sensual experience.

-So...
-Mm-hmm.

Rachel: I prepared
a very special sauce.

-Uh-oh.
-And?

Keep watching.

Darius: Ah, look at your face!
Look at your face!

God, it's good
to have you back.

So, what else did you do
while you were France?

Oh, excuse me,
got to run, Number Two.

-Oh, no. You're back there.
-Really?

Really.

[ Moans ]
[ Silverware clinks ]

-Did you hear that?
-Yeah.

[ Laughing ]
Oh, my God! Stop!

[ Laughs ]

Darius and Yael will share a
sensuous dance as the sun sets.

[ Romantic music plays ]

-After you.
-Thank you.

Okay.

[ Stomach rumbling ]

I got you, I got you.

-Need a hand?
-Yes, I do.

[ Laughs ]

Thank you.
May I?

What a beautiful evening
in paradise.

Just give me a minute.
Don't move, okay?

Okay.
Oh, oh.

Be right back.
Just need a quick minute.

-We're taking five.
-We're not gonna take five.

Sweetie, it's just gonna be
a few minutes.

Sweetie, we have
a few more seconds.

You look amazing.
Here we go.

It's not that. I really have
to use the restroom.

She looks distressed.
Of mind and body.

We are really about
to lose the light.

Can I have
that cane back?

-Okay. Yeah, okay.
-Get ready, here we go...

Mostly body.

Why aren't they
breaking for her?

I mean -- Rachel, can you cut?

See, that's what you call
"Commitment," people.

Here we go! Roll camera!
Let's get that crane in.

Come on, guys.
-Keep rolling, guys.

Keep rolling, guys.
-Here we go!

Ready, and action!
-Uh...

♪ The depths... ♪

-Are you okay?
-Mm-hmm.

♪ That you possess ♪

[ Stomach growls ]

-Ooh! You have nails!
-Oh, I'm sorry. [ Giggles ]

That girl needs to go.

Are you sure
you're all right?

[ Stomach growls ]

Y-yeah, yeah.
You look so handsome.

-Thank you.
-[ Laughs nervously ]

And you look so --

No, I can't.
Oh, my God. No!

-Oh, wait.
-Oh, my God!

[ Pounding on door ]
Wait.

Does anyone have the key
for this?!

Oh, my God!
Somebody, please, just open up!

-The door is locked?
-Oh, my God!

Can someone unlock this, please?
Does anybody have a key?

Unlock this now!
Does anybody have the key?

Does anybody have --
-Yael!

-Oh, my God!
-Yael!

Wait, I have --
-No, no, no, no!

Darius, Darius, Darius, please!
-Yael, let me try --

Please, Darius, Darius,
please, go away.

Yael, I got you.
Do the whole --

Just please, trust me,
just go away!

[ Farting ]
Oh, my God!

-[ Gasps ]
-Oh, no.

Oh, shit!

Ohh!

-[ Weeping ]
-Yikes.

[ Laughs ]

No, she was my last hope!

That is what
I'm talking about, people!

That is what you call drama!
[ Laughs ]

Tablecloth,
get me the tablecloth.

Coleman: What happened?

Danny, help me
with the tablecloth!

[ Laughs ]

Hot Rachel just shit herself
on national television.

Boom! Drop the mike!

[ Laughs ]

[ Weeping ]
Please, please go away.

Why?

Yeah, so, um,
maybe that white dress

wasn't such a good idea,
after all.

Yeah, can we get
some, uh, baby wipes

and maybe a hose for Hot Rachel?
Thanks.

She needs a hose!
She needs a hose!

[ Laughing ]

Wardrobe...

[ Laughter ]

Right, see?
It's not just me.

Everybody's laughing.
Come on.

Hats off.
Hats off, Goldberg!

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

I cannot even begin to tell you
how nuts that was.

What are you
talking about?

Rachel, that was
actually insane.

You get that, right?

Darius wanted Yael
for the final two,

and you just had to destroy her,
didn't you?

Wow, way to bum out
our mood, Jay!

This isn't fantasy camp for
football players, all right?

Never let your star
run the show, Jay!

D., I am so sorry.

Jay, you said you had me.

I do. It's those two crazy
bitches out there.

Nah, 'cause this show is
still making me look bad.

I mean, it's terrible what
they did to that woman.

[ Door closes ]

Is it true that you're planning
on dropping out tonight?

[ Zips bag ]

Jay said Darius is gonna
choose Tiffany, so --

Oh, Jay said?

You do realize that
he's playing you, right?

He just wants you
out of the way

so his girl Tiffany can win.

He gets a cash bonus
if she does.

And do you get a cash bonus
if I win?

Damn straight.

And you get one if I make it
to the final two?

Yeah, but it's not as big.

Well, it's big enough for you
to not care

if I get dumped
on national television.

And, what, that's my bonus,
right,

ruin my reputation
for forever?

No thanks.

Look, I am going
to look ridiculous

choosing Yael
over Chantal.

No, Darius, no.

Look, I told you,
I got you, okay?

Chantal agreed to bow out
gracefully tonight.

It's gonna be fine, man.

-And you're sure about this?
-Yes.

It's gonna be
perfect, actually,

because now when
you choose Tiffany,

the whole world's gonna be
on your side.

It's fine.
Chill, okay?

I got you.

You better, Jay.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

If you're worried
about your reputation,

don't you think
walking out now

is gonna make you seem like

even more of an entitled,
prissy cock tease?

-What?
-I don't think that.

I don't. I really don't.
It's all social media.

I forget that you guys
don't get to see it.

That is not fair!

Just because I'm trying
to stay classy

in a room full of skanks,
like --

I get that.
I totally do.

It's just, you know,

you're such a reserved
kind of person.

I mean, maybe you're just
too good for Darius anyways.

No! Darius is amazing.

Is that what he thinks?

I act like
I'm too good for him?

No, um, it's just --

Tiffany -- she really puts
herself out there.

You know?

She's not afraid to show
Darius how she feels.

But I don't want to make a fool
out of myself again.

So don't.
Look, if you truly,

100% committed --
I mean, look at you.

It wouldn't even be
a contest.

If you don't want to be
a loser, then win.

It's been a long and stressful
day here at "Everlasng."

"Stressful day."

What's he been doing,
napping and whacking off?

Darius and Chantal try
to find peace and love

here in the hot tub.

Why does everything he say
sound so creepy?

Let's be honest,

everything is just a letdown
ever since Shitgate.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, here comes Chantal.

She's just gonna fawn
all over him

with her virginal,
dead-fiancéd self, again.

You know, I think she might
surprise you tonight.

[ Sighs ]

I think she might surprise
everyone tonight.

Darius, I've been doing
a lot of thinking,

about who I am,
and who you are,

and what I've been doing
here at "Everlasting" and --

And what you had for breakfast,
and why you wore this robe.

I have something I need
to say to you.

Darius: Okay.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

Oh! Girl is naked!

You're not hiding anymore.

Hey, hey -- Eyes up here.

I mean,
that is butt-naked!

Wow.

Mm.
Wait a minute --

Who are you, and what have you
done with Chantal?

Yeah, no shit.

Chantal:
I think it's about time

you got to know
the real me.

Damn.

Penis grab! Yes!

Do we ever clean
that thing?

Every time Graham
gets out of it.

Ohh.

Look at that.
She's in it to win it.

Great job, Madison.

You and Rachel
really brought it tonight.

Good job.

That thing
you pulled on Yael

[Laughs] why have we never
done that before?

You are a mad genius.

Come on,
you're telling me

your entire career you've
never done that one?

Never, and now, like, I can't
even imagine not doing it.

I mean, it might be the worst
thing that we have ever done.

Well, we both know
that's not true.

Oh, you have to let
that go.

Mnh-mnh.

You don't ever
think about Mary?

No. I like to sleep
at night, okay?

You care too much.

Just like that one...

I mean, I just think

it's really hard to live
with what we did.

Okay, first of all, we didn't
do anything, Shia did.

Mary was dead.

There was nothing that
we could do to change that.

But we covered it up.

I cover things up
all the time!

That's my job.
I mean, do you really think

that your whole
car pullover stunt

just went away
like magic?

Poof! Buh-bye!

You were on probation
for grand theft auto, remember?

You called in a false report
of a stolen car,

and you got a guy shot.

If it wasn't for me, you'd be
in prison right now.

Prison. Behind bars.

How did you do that?

I have a lot of friends
and a pile of cash.

You really think we need
$100,000 "Greens" budget

when we shoot in Marin county
where it rains every day?

Wow, I can't believe that you,
uh, you did that for me.

That's the difference
between you and I.

I limit the number of people
that I care about

to, like, two.

Hmm.

[ Ringtone plays ]

Speaking of one of them.

-Booth booty?
-Mm-hmm.

He's pulling up
to the mansion,

and he likes to text me
about everything,

from his, like, fancy,
little watch-phone thing.

It's very corny.
-Cute.

So, it's, like, real
between the two of you?

[ Sighs ]
Yeah.

You know what?
We have got to go.

We have an elimination
ceremony to prepare.

Mm! I don't wanna.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Welcome back, Goldberg.

I missed you.

It's much more entertaining
when you're around.

-It's good to be back.
-Come on.

[ Sighs ]

Jay: So, what happened
to "bowing out gracefully"?

Chantal: Oh, please.

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself.

Selling me out
for a cash bonus, really?

Oh, no, no, no, honey.
That is not how it went down.

I am trying to help you.
-Okay, save it.

You underestimated me.

I'm not some
airhead pageant girl.

I like Darius,
but if he wants to cut me,

he can do it himself
on national television.

But I heard about
what happened on Yael's date.

I like my chances.

-[ Giggling ] Yeah.
-I know. [ Laughs ]

Oh, what is happening here?

What is with
these gold curtains?

Don't even get me started.
Move.

-Ohh...
-Uh-oh, is someone still stinky?

Quinn: Oh, that is cold,
Tiffany, cold!

[ Laughs ]
-Let's get a wide shot.

What?
What's that face?

Nothing.

Don't tell me you're having
second thoughts

about destroying
Hot Rachel.

No second thoughts, no.

Okay. Good.
All right.

Let's get this party
started, people.

[ "Everlasting" theme plays ]

Well, America,
we are down to three --

Chantal, Tiffany, and Yael.

Who will Darius send home?

Stage is yours, Darius.

[ Music stops ]

[ Sighs ]
Yael, I'm sorry.

Um, I just can't see us
being together.

I understand.

Thank you for the past
eight weeks.

I've learned so much.

I'll never forget my time here
at "Everlasting."

No one will!
No one will, Yael,

because we are going
to broadcast

your crap-tastic
diarrhea-fest

on a loop
until the day I die.

-[ Chuckles ]
-Thank you very much.

Poor Yael.
Oh, well.

And then there were two.

Yeah, it kind of brings back
a whole, new meaning

to "Elimination Ceremony."
[ Laughs ]

Okay, so, you thought
about what I said?

Yeah, I thought a lot
about what you said,

and a lot about
what we've done

over the last couple of weeks,
and I am just --

I'm not gonna take down
the show.

I'm not gonna take down Quinn
just because you need,

like, some kind of project
to jump-start your career

and that's what this all --
-No. That's not --

Yes, it is!
I promise you,
that's not what this is.

Rachel --
-It's over, Coleman!

-No, it's not over.
-Yes, it is over!

This is about --
This is about justice.

She has no remorse
for the things she's done,

and she admits as much.
-Wha--

What are you talking about?

Quinn: I have a lot of friends
and a pile of cash.

We, uh --

You really think we need
$100,000 "Greens" budget?

How did you get that?

I know some hackers,
and they taught me,

so I tapped your phone,
turned on the mike --

-You tapped my phone?
-Yes. I did this for --

You -- Wait, excuse me --
You tapped my phone?

Yes, I did.
I knew it would be hard for you,

and we need
this kind of evidence.

I'm not gonna let you pay
for her actions, I'm just not.

I started cutting this
into our piece.

-Uh-huh.
-It plays so well.

This is all we need.

[ Ringtone plays ]

[ Laughing ]

Oh! Come on, come on!

This is it, Rachel.

This is it.

Okay.
So, what do we do?

We just, like, take her down
instead of me?

-Yes!
-Yes. Okay.

I told you right
from the start --

You've outgrown her,
you don't need her.

This...
-Yeah.

This is our future,
you and me.

And I found a place.

Yeah?
And what kind of place?

It's for you
to get healthy.

And you can work things out

with a therapist
who isn't your mother.

You just need to talk
this stuff through.

You can finally just rest.

-Oh, wow.
-And just -- just relax.

It's a residential program.
A month to start --

[ Voice breaking ] I'm, like,
so touched right now,

and thank you so much,
Coleman.

I'm, like, so sorry that I was,
like, getting jealous

and acting all crazy
about Yael, I'm so sorry.

But you were just --
-Don't, don't.

You were totally right.

You're, like, truly
the only person

that, like, actually cares
about me.

I just want you to be happy
and healthy and whole.

Mm-hmm.

You're gonna get better.

-Mm.
-You will.

And then we are gonna burn
this place down.

Yes, we are.

And then we're gonna have
the life that we both deserve.

Man: Rachel,
we need you on set!

You know what?

Um, just give me, like,
a few minutes

before I head down there.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I'm so sorry.

You're good.

Yeah.
-Thanks.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Getting out of here!

Yael...hey!

They are not gonna
let you leave here

till after the finale,
so we ne--

Let 'em sue me!
I don't care!

These people are insane!
I'm not staying here!

Okay, no, no. Just take
a breath, take a breath,

'cause I have everything we need
to take them down, I do.

The stuff you gave me
from Jeremy,

I have Rachel back on board
right now.

We are this close
right now.

We're gonna make them pay
for everything.

I am not safe here.

Did you see
what they did to me?

Did you see
what Rachel did?

-Yeah. I'm sorry.
-She poisoned me, Coleman!

There are
cameras everywhere!

I just wanted
to congratulate you

on making the final two
and give you this.

Oh, my goodness.

Ooh. [ Chuckles ]

That is one lucky
piece of jewelry.

Mmm.

No, these --
These women are damaged,

crazy, lonely people.

They have
to hurt other people

and manipulate them to make
themselves feel better.

No one will ever look at me
the same way again.

-Oh, my gosh, no.
-[ Weeps ]

No, no, that's not true
because you're beautiful,

and you're smart,
and you're a good person.

And you're sexy as hell.

We're gonna get them back.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

All ri-- Yes, yes.

I am here.
I am listening.

No, it's a --
It's a great time.

It's a perfect time.

[ Laughs ]

I-I -- Yes.

Yes, Doctor.
I understand.

Yeah. I'm fine.
Uh-huh.

Thank you.

[ Cellphone beeps ]

Quinn, what is it?

I never even wanted
to have kids anyways.

[ Sighs ]

Look, whatever this thing is,
we can manage it.

I have resources.
There must be some--

There's something you can buy
to fix it?

There isn't. It's over.

Quinn...

No, just go.

Okay, look,
why don't we, uh --

Why don't we talk
about this tomorrow?

That's not necessary.

Are you serious?

You don't even want to try
to figure this thing out?

There is nothing
to figure out, dumbass.

You want kids,
and I can't have them.

So get the hell
out of my life.

I don't really don't know
who you are right now.

Well,
I know who you are --

a guy who gets
everything he wants.

[ Door opens ]

And I won't be
anybody's disappointment.

-Quinn, please. Quinn!
-I have work to do.

Are you really gonna
let me walk away?

[ Sniffles ]

Yes.

[ Breathing heavily ]

Everybody, get out. Out!

-Quinn, what is --
-Get out! Now! Go! Faster!

Get out of here!!
[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Glass shattering ]

[ Grunts ]

Quinn?

You okay?

[ Scoffs ]

No one ever tells you
when it's over.

No one ever shows up
at your work

and says,
"Hey, this is it.

This is your last chance
to have kids.

What do you think,
Quinn?"

You want kids, Quinn?

I wanted a choice!!

[ Voice breaking ]
I wanted a choice.

[ Weeping ]

I need you
to get out of here.

You got to go, okay,
while you still have time.

Just go, be with that
douchebag Coleman.

I don't care.
I just want you to be happy.

-Quinn, listen to me.
-Just don't get stuck here.

No, okay? Quinn --

I love you.
I love you.

You're fired. Fired.

Coleman knows.

What?

A-about Mary -- The payouts
and the cover-ups

and everything,
and he's about to expose us.

I am so sorry, Quinn.

Listen, I was so wrong
to trust him,

but, Quinn, we --
We really just right now,

We really have to stop him.

Quinn, suck it up.
I need you.

♪♪

We're taking
that asshole down.

♪♪