UnREAL (2015–2018): Season 1, Episode 8 - Two - full transcript

With the final elimination ceremony right around the corner, Adam is offered an interesting proposal. Rachel is pulled between Jeremy and Adam. Chet makes a decision about his relationship with Quinn.

Graham: Welcome to "Everlasting".

Something's wrong. It's Mary. Somehow, she got on the roof.

Give me your hand right now.

Come with me.

Mary! Wait!

One of our cast members passed away.

Brad: I'm gonna call legal. We'll deal with the family.

But I want to zip this thing up air tight. You hear me?

No lights, no camera, no action.

- Whole season's been kind of freaky. - It's my first one.

Maybe we should postpone the wedding.

- This is about Rachel. - Maybe.

There is just so much that you don't see. It's...

When it comes to you, I see more than you think.

Coming home?


I just left my wife.

Adam: We were on the beach, stark naked, and we were in...

You know, we were in the middle of... of doing it.

And suddenly, there were lights everywhere,

just shining down at us.

It was the birding club.

16 old ladies just staring us down at 5:00 in the morning.

The most embarrassing moment of my life.


I don't even know how you would do that.

I don't like having sex on the beach with all that sand.

Yeah, that's what beds are for.

All right, easy, boy.

You've got enough toys around here to play with.

I don't want the toys.

Sometimes a man wants a grown-up to look him in the eye.

Yeah, and people in hell... they want ice water. I got to go.

[Door opens]

Jeremy: His royal highness has you wiping his ass awfully early.

Yeah, he was, uh, just borrowing my cellphone.

I think he had to call his lawyer

about the vineyard or something. I have no idea.

- Okay. - Okay. [Chuckles]

But, um, look, we... we have a problem.

- What? What happened? - It's, um...

I can't stop thinking about the other night.

Well, that... sucks for you.

You should just tell your fiancée about it.

Yeah, uh, look...

You know what? It's...

It... we didn't mean it, okay? We were in shock.

- Quinn: Rachel? Control room. - So it was just...

- We got a big day. - I'm flying in.

I have to go. Quinn's freaking.

- We're not done, now. - I know.

- We're talking later. - Great.

They say that every cloud has a silver lining.

And we here at "Everlasting" believe that to be true.

If the tragedy of Mary Newhouse untimely death

has taught us anything, it's that life is fleeting...

What the hell is he doing with an umbrella?

It's not even raining.

Cut! Cut!

Who wrote this crap? It's just too much doom and gloom.

It's my fault. I'll adjust and give the note to Graham.

Oh, hey, finally. All right, here we go.

We are done with death, okay?

Give me romance, romance, romance!

Let's get this show back to what it's all about.

Chet: True love, baby!


Thank you.

All right, let's keep it cool, guys. Let's keep it cool.

It's kind of disgusting.

- Fine. Thank you. - Okay, okay.

This week, it is spa dates, all right?

We've got four girls left...

Anna, Faith, Grace, and Shamiqua.

Let's heat things up. Let's keep America guessing.

Come on, nobody is guessing. That boy is going for Grace.

- You don't know that for sure. - Honey...

- No, you don't... - I may be gay, but I know

what kind of punani straight boys like, okay?

Chet: I'm with homeboy. Grace has the lips and the body,

and she can count to 10... I think.

That one's not even important, 10.

Anna's a total catch. She's beautiful, she graduated magna cum laude

from, like, brown or something.

And Adam is not as shallow as you think.

- He's just not. - [Scoffs]

According to nobody but you.

All right, let's just forget who the front-runner is.

I need a horse race.

So, Jay, we need to amp up Shamiqua.

I want less brains and I want more cleavage.

- You got it. - Okay?

And, Rachel, I don't know what to do with Faith,

but we've got to make her hot for Adam.

And Anna... Anna's got to loosen up.

Come on. Have some fun.

Show some skin, you know?

Adam wants a lady on the street but a freak in the sheets.

Capiche? Right?

We got three more episodes to get him to propose

to one of these ding-dongs.

Excuse me, Mr. Wilton. I'm so sorry.

- Your wife is here. - Ex-wife.

Not soon enough.

We need to talk.

Uh, you guys can use my office.

My, that's so generous of you, Quinn.

I talked to my lawyer.

- Bully for you. - "Bully" is right.

You can have your divorce, Chet.

But I am gonna take you for every penny you have.

By the time I'm done with you,

you are gonna be living in a single in the city of commerce.

Well, cali's a community-property state.

You'll get your half. What are you doing?

You can't drink. You're pregnant.

Oh, please. At my age, 50/50, it's a flipper baby anyways.

And yeah, I will get my half.

But this little sideshow attraction

gonna get everything else.

Child support's gonna take you to the cleaners.

I'd think about downsizing if I were you.

[Sighs] Look, my lawyers

are gonna fight you every step of the way,

and your lawyers are gonna fight my lawyers.

Mm, let the games begin.

And we're both gonna be paying those lawyers millions...

Millions we both lose.



We cut a deal, right here, right now.

Leave the lawyers out of it.

I'm listening.

Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

- Well, hello. - Hi.

Hi. Here's to a good night.

- Yes, and very little sleep. - Mm-hmm.

- When you do sleep... - Mm-hmm.

You're very active. Do you know that?

You drool and you snore a lot. Just...

- Lucky you. Lucky you. - [Chuckles]

Um, so, look... today, I, um...

I'm gonna need you to bring your "A" game.

- My "A" game? - Yes, please.

- Three days after a woman died. - I know.

It's super weird, but you know Quinn.

She's doesn't like to linger on feelings or anything.

How about you?


My specialty.

- Got it. - Yeah.

You know, she wants a little romance to cleanse the palate.

- Oh, I can do that. - Not me, Romeo. Them.

Get on out there.

[Indistinct conversations]

Faith: You all feel weird about this?

What? The show?

Yeah. I mean...

Mary and all?

And we're just... Here, goofing off, having a good time?

Yeah, it's hard, but what's quitting the show

or curling up in a ball gonna do for anyone?

If I had stayed home after my dad died,

I would be eating my feelings

and crying myself to sleep at night.

At least on the show, I'm doing something.

I'm staying busy.

I mean, do you really think that Mary would've wanted us to quit?

Ladies... [clears throat]

May I?

As a veteran of this series, there's a little saying

we have in showbiz... "the show must go on."

And in the case of your quest for Everlasting love,

the search must go on.

After 13 seasons, that's all you got?

Well, that and an Emmy.



Yes! Hoo!

[Breathing heavily]

Oh. $50 million?

What were you thinking?

Come on.

I thought we weren't gonna talk about that anymore.

Oh, come on.

I mean, I worked really hard for that money, too.

And what did she do?

She shopped at whole foods and lululemon?

I-I don't like it any more than you do,

but at least it clears the way for you and me.

[Scoffs] Yeah, I guess.

It's actually sort of sweet,

you giving away 50 mil for little, old me.

And you are worth every cent.

Oh, we'll make that cash back in no time.

All we have to do is start selling some shows.


- [Computer chimes] - Oh, speak of the devil.

- There's Brad. - And the best part?

The wicked witch of brentwood.

won't be able to touch a cent we make from here on in.

All right, hold on. Hoo!

All right, here we go.

Hey, guys.

- Hey! - Hi!

- [Chuckles] - How's everyone holding up?

[Both sigh]

You know, it's... it's been a little tough,

but we're getting through it.

I... I feel terrible.

But how about those monster numbers last night?


Yeah, 6.8... up 22% from last week.


Yeah, people should die more often.

I know! Unbelievable!

How's, uh, how's her kid doing?

Fine, I think.

Management is thrilled with these numbers.

They want to capitalize on the momentum, so get this.

They want to end the season with Cromwell

marrying one of these chicks, live, on air.

So we're talking about

a two-hour special "Everlasting" wedding.

I mean, is that not genius?

Can you guys make that happen?

What if we take it one step further

and use the wedding to backdoor a spin-off for next season?


And... and, uh, we have Adam and his new bride,

um, adjusting to the upper-crust life in the UK.

- We'll call it "Royal Love". - Oh.

Sweet! I'll tell you what.

You get him to marry the Mexican bikini model,

and you've got yourselves a deal, all right?

She'll bring in the telemundo audience.

[Chuckles] Okay.

Bye! Boom!

That's what I'm talking about. Synergy.

You and me. Oh, man.

We're gonna double that 50 mil in no time.


I love you.

Oh, I love you, too.

[Both chuckle]

Wait. So, I don't get it.

Are you saying that I've already won?

Isn't that great? What do you say?

Shouldn't be so hard to be married

to such a beautiful, exotic, and compelling woman.

I mean, that's... that's quite a proposition.

Um, so, on this show...

- "Royal Love". - Grace: Ooh.

I love how that sounds.

So, uh, Grace and I... we're gonna be married?

No. You'll be married on "Everlasting."

You'll propose in the final episode,

and then we'll do a two-hour special

when we introduce the spin-off.

A spin-off. So exciting.

Yeah, indeed.

So glad you two are on board.

Man: Quinn, we're ready for Grace now.

Okay. Copy that. I'm sending her down.

All right. So, just keep this under your hat.

The only reason why we're telling you this

is 'cause we need you two to sign releases.

Thing's moving at warp speed.

- Consider me signed. - All right.

We'll draw up the paperwork.

Thank you. Thanks.

Adam: Uh, Quinn, uh...

Before you do that...

You okay, Chief?

Yeah, look. Uh...

don't get me wrong, Grace is a lovely girl,

but what you're suggesting is absurd.

I signed on for one season of this.

One season, that's it.

And look, I don't intend to stick around for another,

so, I mean, find yourself another patsy.

Grace: [British accent] "What a lovely house you have, your lordship.

Thank you so much for having me.

Mm. So nice to be here.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

My name is Grace... Grace Cromwell."

Practicing your accent, huh?

[Normal voice] Your mascara's smudged.

Do you really think he's gonna pick you?

Sluts get cut...

[Exhales sharply]

Or that's what I hear.

Honey, I know he's gonna pick me.

It's all worked out.

What is that supposed to mean?

The pressure is on, ladies.

Now, since Maya sadly decided to, of course, leave the show,

each of you have made it to the final four.

We know it has been stressful for all of us

these past few weeks, which is why we're giving you a chance to relax with Adam

- and rejuvenate at a tranquil zen paradise - Anna. Anna, hi. Smile, okay?

Graham: Behind me are candles.

Each one of these candles is a symbol of your burning desire

to win Adam's heart.

- Hey. - Hey.

Everything hunky-dory?

- Yeah, hunkiest-doriest. - You got a sec?

I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Okay. Now's good for me.

Man: Okay, cut. Everybody take five, please.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Imitates gunshot]

Jay: Hey, psst. Shamiqua, come here.

So, you're with me on this, right? Really?

This is what it's come to after hanging in there for weeks

through a suicide? Now it's "flash them titties"?

Come on, girl.

Seriously, you've got to give me something.

[Chuckles] Or what?

Or we both go home.

You're my last girl.

Well, what makes you think I can even turn Adam around?

Hey, he didn't want to do this show.

- You're our limey whisperer. - Okay, listen. That was then.

We weren't asking him to sign on and marry one of these girls.

Come on. We're talking about a year here.

Then they get a big, juicy divorce,

splash it all over the tabloids.

Screw all the D-listers they want.

All right, okay.

So let's say that I, uh...

Let's say that I can, right?

Let's say I can turn him around.

- What's in it for me? - Wheeling and dealing?

Oh, mama bear taught you well.

I'm just saying, you are getting a spin-off.

He's getting another year to promote his vineyard.

All right, all right, fine. What do you want?

Peace in the middle east.

A sailboat full of ponies?

Regular, miniature ponies? Continue. Or?

My own show.

Okay. Take "Royal Love".

No. Just flat-out no.

I'm not gonna get in between you and Quinn.

Oh, Quinn's with me now.

No, she's done her time in the trenches.

It's your turn to not have a life.

Come on. What do you say?

Grunt to executive producer, blink of an eye.

It's a deal of a lifetime.

All I have to do is deliver Adam?

Well, on a silver platter.

Of course.

Rachel: Oh. Hey, Adam!

Adam, can I talk to you for a second?

Hey. I, uh, wanted to talk to you.

Let me guess.

About "Royal Love", this ludicrous spin-off

Chet and Quinn are trying to rope me into?

Just heard about it, yeah.

These people are mad. I...

A marriage was never part of the deal.

- Honestly, it's only for a year. - [Chuckles]

Yeah, we'll just... We'll just get married and just fake it.

Of course. Brilliant.

I would never do that to one of these girls.

Believe it or not, I actually have a modicum of respect for them.

Oh, I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

Yeah. Copy that, buddy.

It's only three more weeks, right?

Trust me, I'm counting the days.

[Indistinct conversations]

Woman: A.D.s, go to two.

Woman: Copy that.

"Royal Love"? Really?

Who told you?

A little bird with a great ass and a deep throat.

[Sighs] Grace is such an idiot.

Yeah, which is why I should be the one who wins this.

What? Look, I don't even know

why they went to her in the first place.

Yeah, they hook up or whatever,

but Adam came to my father's funeral for a reason.

Okay? We have a real connection.

I think that you would... You would be great.

You would be so much better than Grace for Adam.

I mean, if it were up to me, it would...

It would definitely be you.


Do you really want it?

'Cause I can work it on my end.

But you're just gonna have to work it with Adam, okay?

You make him want you and then get him on board with it.

Well, what about Grace?

I'll just...

You focus on your future husband, okay?

I'll take care of it.

So, what's up? We have a deal?

Yeah. Deal.

I like you.

So, each of our contestants gets a chance to experience

an individual spa treatment with Adam.

Let's see how it's going, shall we?

Chet: Whoa-ho-ho!

Great idea, showing a little more skin.

Ratings aren't the only thing that're gonna be going up.

- Soft-tissue massage.- Right.

Soft tissue.



Ah. Just start with my back first, mister.

We'll see how far you get.

Beautiful, black boner killer.


Medicinal mud has been used for centuries as a healing regimen.

So you want us to rub this dirt all over ourselves?

The mud opens the pores to relax and invigorate the body.

All right.

Quinn: Mm. Sexy.

Check him out.


Do you feel invigorated?

Really? That's what you're gonna do?

Oh. Mm. No.

[Both laugh]

You like that?!

Oh! Who's invigorated now?!

Oh, I feel so alive!

Oh, no. No!


Yeah! You like it?!

You like that?! Yeah!


Cut, please, cut.

Man: The cedar enzyme bath

boosts circulation and metabolism.

It's both relaxing and energizing.

Seems... Interesting.

Grace: So, wait.

We're just... we're gonna, like, lay on top of it?

Oh, no.

You'll be immersed.

Oh, my God.


[Whimpers] Okay.

The warmth you feel is produced

by a biological fermentation process.

This feels good.

I can't... [breathing heavily]

Grace, are you okay?

I can't just sit here.

I... are you okay?

That's not good.

No! Aah!

I can't! I'm not doing this!

No, no, no!

Cut! Cut, cut, cut!

Grace?! Grace? You okay?

I'm sorry. I'm claustrophobic, okay?

Ever since I was a little girl.

Where I come from, being buried alive is no joke.

- I can't. - Quinn: I'm sorry.

You didn't know that she was claustrophobic?

If I did do you think I would've done that? Do you want me to go talk to her?

No, I'll handle it.

You just start setting up for the next date.

Maybe that could be good, you know, emotion-wise.

You know, Adam consoles phobic chick?

Oh, yeah, more consoling. That's hot.

I just... I don't even know

that he's gonna go for somebody so high-strung.

Brad wants Grace. I don't give a crap.

I just want a show.

Okay, well, then we'll just sell Anna to Brad.

I mean, she's so much classier.

Hold your horses, Tonto.

Let's see how the date goes first, all right?


Um, locations gave me a bunch of brochures of places we can go,

you know, for the wedding?

I thought that, you know, we were talking about seeing...

I know. Look, after...

Everything that happened with Mary, it just...

It really put everything in perspective.

I want to make things better, Jer.

Man: Okay, guys, moving on. Next setup.

Man: Got it!

We need to talk about this later.

Tantra is about accessing our energies

to enhance pleasure and dissolve the ego.

Oh. This is really good.

With practice, partners can make love for hours

and have orgasms without touching...

Jay: Damn.

This bitch looks like she could eat him alive.

Chet: Well, look who's a little minx.

- I'd totally do her. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, if she gives us heat, so would I.

[Both chuckle]

Breathe them in. Feel them.

[Inhales deeply]

Man: Sorry, guys.

- Sound needs us to hold for a plane. - Holding.

[Airplane passing overhead]

You know, this is actually kind of fun.

Breathing each other in?

Well, I... I don't know about you,

but I personally prefer physical touch when I orgasm.

Are you making a pass at me?


Do you want me to?

Naughty girl.

With the right person, you have no idea.

Oh-ho-ho! Finally, some friggin' chemistry.

Yeah. No kidding. It's great.

Yeah, no, I need to do some yoga, 'cause this is just...

[ Laughs]

Is there a lot of yoga in England?

Don't know.

More a polo guy.

Well, I'm sure that we could find some creative way

to release our energies.


Yeah, you know, just, in England,

we could find something...

You and me in England?

So now they want you to go to England with me?

- No. - Of course they do.

Yep. Adam...

These people are vulgar.

They will do anything they can to make a quick buck off us.

And you'd willingly be a part of that?

I... I'm sorry. I... I didn't...

I mean, I got excited.

What are you doing?

- We're still shooting. - Forget it.

- This date's over. - [Bell rings]

Adam. Hey, hey, hey.

Come on. Where are you going?

To get a drink. It's ridiculous.

"Royal Love"... Like I'm so bendy child's toy

they can twist however they like...

Listen, I think it's a good idea, for what it's worth.

You are literally insane if you think

I'm gonna marry a girl I met three weeks ago on a TV show.

It doesn't matter how fantastic she is.

My God, they're both willing to sign on the dotted line,

- aren't they? - Yeah, totally.

What would drive a woman to do that?

Oh, God. Every single fairy tale she's read

since she was about I would say 3 years old.

- Man: Wine? - Yes, yes, thank you so much.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh.

I am just telling you to think about it.

You would be getting everything you wanted

when you signed on for the show, all of that exposure.

So many people have taken that...

That reality-show TV moment

and turned it into something legit.

I'm sorry.

Is the real Rachel anywhere nearby?

'Cause I don't recognize this golem in front of me.

- Oh. - What?

I get it.

What are you getting out of this?

I would be the showrunner.

Of course.

It's everything I wanted my entire career.

Well, since when? Last night, you were talking about writing novels

and saving African AIDS babies.

Those are just my dreams. This is my actual life.

So you're using me.

Yeah, I am.

- When I get used... - Mm-hmm.

I like to get paid a lot.

This deal's not cutting it for me.

Another year on a reality TV show,

dancing for the organ grinder?

No way. Besides, you know as well as I do

I did this so I could get away from my family.

I do this insipid "Royal Love", I'm back where I started,

only with more for them to ridicule me with.

Listen, I'm just telling you to think about it.

The marriage wouldn't be real. You could have it annulled.

It would be real.

This may shock you, Rachel,

but marriage actually means something to me.

What the hell is this?

No, Rachel, Jay, why is the mansion prepped?

The elimination ceremony is tomorrow.

Damn it! Answer! All right?

Come on. This is all wrong.

Or... maybe it's just right.


Shall we check it out?


Quinn: Mmm. Oh, my God.

What is this?

Cuisse de grenouilles sur un bâton.

Frog legs on a stick.


Frog. No shit.

[Chuckles] This, um...

This whole thing is... is too much.

This must've cost you a mint.

You gave away $50 million this morning.

I don't want to talk about money.

I want to talk about you... and me.

The only thing that matters is us.

We'll make money. "Royal Love", whatever.

Open it.




It's your turn now.

But you're not even divorced yet.

I say as soon as the papers come in, let's just do it.

I don't want to wait anymore, not after eight years.

Will you marry me?


Screw it. Yes, yes.

[Laughs] Let's get married.

Let's get married.

[Both laugh]

[Dog whimpers]

So, you know that thing that we were talking about?

Uh-huh. Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

What thing?

"Royal Love", with Adam.

- He's not into it. - Oh. Well...

He will be.

You just got to give him the right reason.

That's all. I trust you. You know why?

'Cause you're a winner.

Thank you very much for the vote of confidence,

but he really is pretty out of it.

Well, I've seen you at the top of your game,

- and I think you're gonna deliver. - Not this time.

I'm sorry. P.S.

You're doubting your own powers, aren't you?

Creepy, little kid. Follow me.

Let me show you something.

[Engine turns over]

- Oh-ho-ho! - [Engine revving]

Oh. Oh, you feel that?

That is what it's like to be in control, to be the boss.

You control the machine.

You can make it do whatever you like.

What do you say we take her for a spin?



So, um... listen, uh...

I know we've been going 'round and 'round, but...

I actually think you were right.

We have been moving too fast.

Look, I... I told you I didn't mean that.

I was just upset, confused.

You know, you and Rachel have...

You and Rachel.

Don't do this.

We have plans, Jer, for a life.

Rachel, she's... she's there, and then she's gone.

She puts on a good show,

but she doesn't give a damn about anybody but herself.

Look, you deserve someone who's gonna love you all the way.

You know? No regrets...

No holding back.

I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm not that guy.

[Engine revs]

[Laughing] It's fun, isn't it?!

Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

This is every day for me... the life, the show,

it's all coming at me at 80 miles per hour.

Copy that.

And I make it work, even when it gets scary.

- Which it does. - Hey, Chet, what are you doing?

- Stop pushing my leg! - More than you know!

- [Engine revving] - Chet!

[Tires screech]

Ah, as much shit as I give you, Rachel, I love you for it.

You know something, I really don't like this.

If you really want to make it, Rachel,

you got to be willing to drive the car

- as fast as it'll take you. - [Horn honks]

Even when you feel this close to crashing and burning,

- you've got to just keep driving! - Chet, let go of my leg!

[Engine revving]

There's nothing you can't do, Rachel!

- Nothing! - Chet!

[Tires screeching]


Ah, well, lesson learned.

I just wish someone had done that for me when I was your age.

Now... go get me Adam.

Quinn: These numbers are too low.

These numbers are too high.

These numbers don't equal this total.

So whoever did this must've been high or half asleep.

- I don't care. - [Vomits, coughs]



You know what? Just go... go... go get it fixed.

I don't care how you do it. Just get it fixed.

- Chet: Hey, hey. - Thank you.

Uh, what was that all about?

Ah, some people just need to be reminded of their power.

If we're gonna make that spin-off money,

she's got to come through.

Oh. [Chuckles]

Hey, why don't you, uh...

Why don't you check her out?

Make sure she got the message.


Whew. [Mumbling]

Are you okay?


You need to pull your shit together.

Excuse me?

I mean, what is wrong with you?

You used to be like a shark.

Dead eyes, no emotion, no weakness.

- And now look at you. - I'm sorry.

Are you honestly taking his side?

Because the guy basically tried to drive me off a cliff.

- Oh, please. - Holy crap.

- That's a nice ring. - Yeah.


Chet and I are together now,

so you need to suck it up and do your job.

Yeah, right. Which is what, exactly? I just want to clarify.

You want me to go into Adam's room and convince him to do something

that he doesn't want to do, right?

Hell, yeah. Since when is that news?

Okay, how would you like me to do it?

Because you've taken away his winery.

You've turned it into the "Everlasting" theme park.

And now you're asking me to get him back on board

with his family, whom he loathes,

and, quite honestly, they're not crazy about him, either.

Why are you letting Adam get up all in your vag?

He's a prop, Rachel.


Because maybe I'm just sick of being a manipulative bitch.

Oh. [Chuckles]

Well, let me tell you, sweetheart,

there's no sense fighting that.

That's who we are.

Where are you going?

To be a manipulative bitch.

No means no.

Unless it gets you something you want.

[Chuckles] Which is?

Which is your vineyard... Adam Cromwell Winery.

Fat chance. It's the "Everlasting" spa and resort now.

Not if you tell Chet you're gonna do "Royal Love".

But only as "Royal Renovations".

Okay, you cut a deal for the show,

and you insist that they shoot it at the vineyard.

And we spend the entire season renovating it

and putting it online,

and you are not gonna commit

unless you get the vineyard back at the end of the year.

I am talking about the classy cromwell one.

I'm not talking about the cheesy "Everlasting" one.

And I know that it's another year of your life,

but at the end of it, you get everything you want.

Okay, tell me.

Tell me that that's not gonna impress your father.

It's actually not a bad idea.

But getting married on reality TV?

No, just forget it.

Okay. So you pick Anna.

You propose to her, and then you just put it off.

So she's your fiancée for one year. Big deal.

You spend a year of your life with some beautiful,

smart, sexy woman, and...

You know, when the show's over,

you can... you can do whatever you want.

No marriage.

Not unless you want to.

Okay. So let's say I was interested.

- Mm-hmm. - What would I need to do?

You just got to get Anna back.


[Quinn grunting]


This might qualify as coffee

from whatever fly-over state you came out of,

but there is no way I'm drinking this hillbilly monkey piss,

so get your butt down to the corner and get me a real latte.

- [Sighs] - I got it.

Word of advice... don't roll over for Quinn.

She likes the pushback.

I mean, don't... don't be disrespectful,

but get in the ring, have a little fun.

I'm... I'm not scared of Quinn, if that's what you mean.

Mm. Guess that's why you flinch every time she talks, huh?

I don't really care how Quinn talks to me.

I have wanted to be in this business

ever since I was a little girl, and here I am doing it.

Glamorous life of a P.A., huh?

For now.

Jeremy: Hey.

Hey. Hi. Hi.

Um, so...

I broke up with Lizzie.

You what? Are you serious?

Are you gonna... are you okay?

Yeah, Rach, I'm more than okay.

You know, I was just sick of ignoring the obvious.

What obvious?

It's you.

I just... I don't...

I'm not even sure...

You sure now?

Man: Okay, people... two minutes.

Two minutes.

After wrap, meet me in your truck.

Seriously, it's gonna be good.

- Yeah. - I promise.

[Indistinct conversations]

Okay, guys, here we go! Places, please!

And action!

Good evening, and welcome.

It's a sad night here at the mansion,

as one of our four remaining contestants

- will be leaving us... - I'm sorry to interrupt you, uh, Graham...

but there's something, um, I would like to get off my chest

before the elimination, if that's all right.

Of course, Adam, yes. What is it?

Uh, Anna, my behavior on our date today was inexcusable,

and I was wondering if we might have a moment alone together

before the ceremony.

Yeah, of course.


Rachel: "A" cam, stay with Anna.

And Adam on "B" cam go wide, please? Thank you.

I am sorry about today.

I was upset, and I wanted you to know

that it had nothing to do with you.

It's, uh...

It's just overwhelming sometimes...

Trying to remember who I am

and what I want in the middle of all this, and...

It's easy to forget

that I actually have real feelings and desires.

And what's crazy

is that I know that you and I have a connection.

And I... I'd really like to take the time to explore that.

So would I.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

[Chuckles] Let's do that.


Chet, look at this. Look...

Oh. Uh, Chet?

[Chet moaning]

Have you made your choice, Adam?

Yes, I have.

Can't say I'm shocked.

This entire show has been an obscene waste of my time.



That's the last of my girls.

- I'm out. - Woman: Bye-bye, Jay.

Man: Sorry, buddy.

Woman: Bye, Jay.

See you next season, chica.


Try not to blow anything up, okay?

[Indistinct conversations, door closes]

[Chet chuckling]

- Hey. - Man: Tell me that one later.

Yeah, okay.

All right. Hey.

Hi. You were right.


We should get married as soon as we can...

As soon as the papers come through.

Us, Vegas, Elvis impersonator.

[Laughs] Let's do it.

That's amazing. Yes!

[Both laugh]

[Knock on door]


- Hey. - Do you need something?

Uh, no.

I just wanted to come by and see that you were...

Okay with everything.

Yeah, like a dog with two tails.

Gonna get everything I ever wanted, right?

Yeah, well, it seems like things went really well with Anna.

Yeah. It did. She's... she's lovely.

But we've been on two dates, and what...

We're gonna commit to each other for an entire year...

- Adam, come on. - What if I find out she drives me insane?

Or I her. What're we gonna do then?

Just fake it for a year?

You know something?

It's not even about feeling anything or faking it.

It's just about getting what you want.

What if I can't have what I truly want?

♪ First kiss ♪


♪ Taste the barrel of the gun ♪


♪ Sigh ♪

♪ Sigh ♪

♪ Sigh ♪

♪ Sigh ♪

♪ Sigh ♪

- ♪ Sigh ♪ - [Both moaning]