UnREAL (2015–2018): Season 1, Episode 4 - Wife - full transcript

A tabloid story exposes news about Adam's past; Rachel has to produce a romantic date.

Now, without further ado, your suitor, adam cromwell!

He's the british heir to the cromwell hotel fortune.

Oh! Oh, my god!

I was trying to open a new hotel --

My own, without my father.

Royal hottie drops trou with three --

Or, i'm sorry, was it four hookers?

And then tweets a selfie?

Screw you. I don't know you.

I know you. Or, at least, i know your agenda.

Nobody's gonna bet money on your hotel

Until you rehab your image.

Grace, hey, listen to me.

If you want to win adam,

You're just gonna have to change your act.

You just don't want adam to be with me.

I've seen the way you look at him.

I kind of like it, though, the way you're busting my balls.

Don't do that, okay? Mnh-mnh. No? Sure?

Well, no. Let's just stay on topic.

Our d.P. Here is leaving us. To carl!

I want carl's job. I want you to get it for me.

You've got quinn's ear.

You should have talked to her a long time ago.

And commit you to this? No.

Getting out was your dream. It's not mine.

You're the only thing in my life that i've ever done right.

My arm's tingling. Call 911.

Aah! I need an ambulance.

Uh, a heart attack.

Chet's not easy, but he needs you.

Actually, i wanted to thank you for sleeping with him.

It keeps him from wandering too far.

You're a real class act.

One of the dates has to be at my hotel site in napa.

Done, all right?

Now, just get back to work, you limey pick.

Tonight on "everlasting,"

It's down to our final 10 contestants.

And after last week's emotional roller coaster,

It's becoming far more difficult for our suitor to say goodbye.

[ chuckles ] that was good.

Ooh, look at that.

Goosebumps. Chills. You?


That was, like, really good.


Do you think people are gonna miss me?

Honey, you have got it, babe.

Trust me. The world is gonna love you.

Maybe i shouldn't leave.

You could talk to the producers, have me come back.

It could be like a surprise.

Come here.

Thank you. You are amazing.

My car will take you to the airport.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Man: Morning.

We'll be heading in the girls' room in just, uh, five minutes.

Mary: Why won't they tell us anything about this group date?

I mean, how are we supposed to prepare?

Well, we don't even know who's going.

You might not have to worry about it.


Cameras on the floor, ladies! Incoming!

Cameras on the floor! [ knock on door ]

Woman: I'm not ready yet!

Doors are opening! Here they come.

Rolling! Rolling!

Woman: Rolling!

[ chuckles ] pepper: What is it?

Oh, my gosh! Look!

Oh, my god. It is so much drama.

Like they didn't all just spend four hours

Getting made up for this.

So hard playing dress up all day.

Look at this!

Holy cow.

"you are cordially invited to join me at my vineyard in napa."

"a place that is near and dear to my heart."

Mary: "this vineyard is my vision for the future,

And i want to envision my future wife in it."

It's me. [ chuckles ]

Oh, my gosh. That sounds like so much fun.

Yeah. Oh, my.


You didn't get one?

Wow. What's the occasion?

You ditched the birds-nest look.

Very charming. Very charming.

Yes, but nothing -- nothing's different.


Will you stop? I wear eyeliner sometimes.

I do. Since when?

Hey, wh-what are you doing here?

We're supposed to be scouting the vineyard with the d.P.

You're looking at him.

Wait a second, you got carl's job?

Yeah! Stop it!

No, i got it. I mean, whatever you said to quinn obviously paid off.

Yeah! [ laughs ]

Congratulations. Very happy for you.

Thank you. Let's roll.

[ engine turns over ]

Shamiqua: You can stop acting like you won the lottery.

This date is obviously just a consolation prize

For the "b" team.

You keep telling yourself that.

I'm heading straight to the final four.

By pulling that nene crap?


You keep fighting the power and get ready to pack your bags.

How long do you really think his royal whiteness

Is gonna keep around some black bitch stirring up trouble?

My guess...You're not gonna last the week.

It's gorgeous out here.

Adam: Said without irony.

What's up with you today?

Rachel: Condemned?

Okay, please tell me that this is a joke,

That the real vineyard's somewhere else.

Oh, come on. This is what this show does.

You just work your hollywood magic.

We don't pull unicorns out of our asses, okay?

This place is a total disaster.

I know it's a lot to ask,

But if there's anyone i can trust to make this happen,

It's you.

[ laughing ] oh, i'm -- i'm sorry.

Did you actually seriously just try to win me over

With your puppy-dog eyes?

Is that what just happened?

Well, it is in my contract.

Oh, right, and now i see why

You're trying to get the show

To fix up this hellscape. Nothing major.

Just enough to look good on camera for some publicity.

Meanwhile, "everlasting" gets a lovely place for a date.

It's win-win, really.

[ chuckling ] no, it's not.

Not for me because i have to shoot it in a day

And bring it in on budget.

Electricity's off. I'm gonna need an extra gennie

Just to run power to the lights.

Uh, no. Screw the gennie, okay.

I can't afford to do repairs onsite.

I mean, i-i would have to bring in

A full-on construction crew for this place.

I'll bring some of the guys out, you know? We'll fix it.

I'm not asking the camera department to do that.

Just get me power. They're my guys now, right?

They make me look good, we all look good.

And i can help out, too. Tell you what.

I'll let you know if the polo ponies get out of hand.

Okay. Thank you.

I hope that guy knows what he's doing.

Listen, that guy is saving your ass.

You should be grateful, okay?

10 grand over budget? Are you insane?

No, the vineyard has crazy potential.

What? All right, you know what?

If you can't get it on budget,

Just move it over to the fairman.

They'll pay us for the --

No, we have to shoot there. You put it in adam's contract.

I believe this place is what they call ratchet, all right?

We could sue him for breach of contract so fast

That it will snap his pasty english neck.

Quinn, i think i can bring it on budget.

Just give me a chance, okay?

All right. You better. It's fine.

Hi. Um, can i just get you to sign that?

Yeah, no. I got to go.

Sorry. Trouble with mini-me?

Uh, just trying to figure out

How to fix adam's vineyard for this weekend.

Fix it? I thought the cromwells only own five-star properties.

Well, not this one.

It's trashed. No upkeep for years.

I swear,

Her majesty's dumbass has no marketing savvy.

After the show's done, all he has to do

Is sell it as adam cromwell's retreat for everlasting romance.

Too bad he doesn't have a you. You always make it work.

Yeah, too bad for him.

Look, i know you're still pissed

About what happened at the hospital.

I'm not. I'm not.

I'm just done.

This is getting old.

We're getting old.

We have the show,

So let's just leave it at that from now on.

That's crazy.

We're special. We have a thing.

A thing with a wife.

I'm over being played.

I bought you a house.

You can't do this. I made you.

You better get your rundown, good-for-nothing, user ass

Out of my office right now,

Or i won't just be done with you.

I will be done here.

Then maybe you'll remember who made who.

[ door slams ]

Is my hair okay? Jay: Okay. No, you look great.

So, you seemed pretty jealous that you weren't chosen for the group date.

Jealous? Well, i guess it kind of made me want --

Hey, hey, hey. Can i talk to you for a second?

Uh -- sorry.

Hey, you got weed, right? Hook me up.

Uh, no. I don't have any.

A-and i thought you had some, like, health stuff.

No, i got a weird valve thing.

I could faint. I'm not gonna die.

What do you give a crap for, anyway?

Score us some weed.

Get a limo, maybe a couple of thai massages,

We'll drive around, we'll make a day of it, okay?

You and me? [asian accent] happy ending, long time!

I-i-i just need the power turned back on for one -- one day.

Yeah, we can easily pay the back taxes.

It's not a problem. No! No, no, no.

Please don't -- please don't put me on hold. Ple--

Quinn: Oh, rachel? In my office, now!

[ feedback ] oh.

Oh, my god. Okay.

Hey, what's up?

I'm, uh, i'm working on the vineyard.

I just am having a little bit of trouble with --

Oh, no, the vineyard

Was this morning's cromwell douchery.

Here's what that twat is throwing at us this afternoon.

Sexting with his ex?

How did he get a phone?

Are you kidding me? Mnh-mnh.

I cannot believe they didn't give you the head's up on this.

Well, my contact there is still mad at me

At how i played them last season,

But i didn't realize that he was gonna screw me

Before i had a chance to buy him a new rolex.

He's texting her from here? Okay, i'm sorry, but i thought --

I thought that she broke up with him.

Yes, well, apparently not, okay? We need to get ahead of this.

And you know what those girls are gonna do

If they find out that he's still in touch with his pippa wannabe.

Yeah, they're gonna chop his balls off just like our viewers will want to do.

Okay, i will run damage control with the press,

But i need you to get that sext maniac

To apologize on camera, okay?

He needs to convince the world

That he gives a crap about being here.

Okay, well, lucky for us, he's a damn good liar. Yeah, but seriously?

What does this douchebag not get about this business, okay?

We are selling true love here!

True love, people!

A little privacy?

What if i was having a wank?

[ sighs ] okay.

Oh, what the hell?

Do you have any idea how much that jeopardizes the show?

It doesn't. Back home, the tabloids

Write about my family all the time.

We ignore it. It goes away.

Okay, well, here in america, uh, to our audience,

Starcatcher is the new york times.

Well, i didn't intend for it to go public.

It really doesn't even matter what you intended.

Why in the hell would you start texting with her now?

I was bored. Rog gave me a phone. What do you want from me?

I want you to stop being such a little bitch and cop to it.

Apologize to those girls.

[ chuckles ] that's not gonna happen.

Right, and why would i expect you

To be responsible for anything?

Your crappy broken-down vineyard,

I mean, your secret hummers from grace,

And sexting the ex who publicly humiliated and dumped you.

You know something, adam? You are right.

You just keep working on your abs

And i will deal with it, okay?


[ sighs ] what?


[ groans ]

Rach --


Quinn: All right, get these budgets

Over to the network a.S.A.P. And try starcatcher again.

Tell them if they don't take my call,

I'm gonna come over there

And shove my manolos up every one of their slimy asses.

Woman: Um... Go!

You can go. Okay.

[ indistinct shouting ]

[ sighs ]

[ ringing ]

[ clears throat ] bill?

Bill: Quinn. Pleasant surprise.

Yeah, uh, it was a surprise for me, too.



Please tell me that that was napa.

Please. Jay: Thai massage parlor.

Chet -- he wants to hang.

But i think this is it.

I think this is my chance to pitch him my idea for a show.

Rachel: Really? Okay.

Fine, whatever. What's up with the county manager?

Oh, they're refusing to issue a permit to turn on the power.

You know, i'm getting nowhere

And jeremy's working overtime to prep the site.

Well, chet's got some pals up there --

Some local politician guy who threw us a party.

Ah! That is great. I will ask quinn to have chet talk to his friend. Thank you.

Uh, or not. Why?

Mommy and daddy are fighting.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Sorry. So sorry i'm late.

It's the middle of the season.

You know how it goes. [ chuckles ]

Still grey goose, rocks?

Oh, thanks.

Are you trying to get me drunk and slutty?

[ both laugh ]

So, i hope this call means that you've come to your senses.

I've come for a drink.

I'm not here for your crazy lawsuit.

Well, why not?

Chet stole "everlasting" from both of us.

You've got no proof. It's your word against his.

It's really not worth talking about.

Not unless you were to find your original lookbook.

I haven't seen that thing in years.

[ clears throat ]

The lawsuit's a non-starter, bill.

Just take it or leave it.

Oh, you haven't changed.

I'll give you that.

I've just gotten older.

And smarter. Sexier.

I can almost forgive you

For letting chet steal you away from me.

I think about you.

A lot. [ sighs ]

[ cellphone buzzes ]

[ cellphone beeps ]

Is it something you can handle?

Rachel: Yeah, but --

Good. I'll be back soon.

[ dog barking ] chet: Come on, come on.

Rachel: Chet, hey.

Crazy ray, crazy ray, what up, girl?

Yeah, uh, well, it seems

That i'm having a little bit of problems in napa.

It turns out that adam owes some back taxes on his property there

And the county is refusing to issue a permit to turn the electricity back on.

You need me to step in?

Well, i do hear that you know a politician there,

So i was hoping maybe

You could just, you know, make a phone call.

Only talking about power for one day. That's all i'm --

We're all in it together, right?

Right. Yeah. That's right.

Let's see.

My buddy brooks can take care of things up in napa.

Bureaucratic a-holes tend to listen when the boss speaks.

[ chuckles ] that would be great. Thank you.

Thanks a lot. No need to thank me.

We'll find a way for you to pay me back.

Bo-bo! [ dog barks ]


[ laughs ]

[ woman giggles ]

Psst. Pepper. What?

I probably shouldn't say anything, but...

[ gasps ]

I know.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Ladies, ladies, who is ready for group date prep?

Hi. Shamiqua and pepper, i don't know why you two are here.

We're here because we want answers.


Well, um, i totally understand

That it sucks not to be picked for a date.

I promise you that there will be other dates. No.

We just thought we should let everyone here know

Who they'd be going on a date with -- a big fat liar. Mm-hmm.

Woman: Yep. Woman #2: That's right.

You guys, let me just get to the bottom of this, okay?

I'll be right back. Thank you.

I will handle it.

They took the bait. Send in adam.

It's all on him now.

[ chuckles ]

And when athena showed me, i just thought,

"you know what, pepper? Those other girls deserve to know."

There is no way he can explain this away.

[ clears throat ] no way.

All right, you think he's up for it?

Yeah, i think adam could charm the panties off a nun.

What's going on with the vineyard?

I had to ask chet for some help, you know,

With some guy that he knows up in napa

To get the electricity turned on.

Well, that's a good choice, but chet doesn't do favors.

He's gonna want something, and you'd better be ready for that.

Man: Adam's on the set. We're standing by.

"a" cam on adam, "b," "c" on girls, please.

Hello, ladies.

So, what do they have planned for us now?

Adam: Is something wrong?

Why don't you ask your fiancée?

Faith: If you're into somebody else, why don't you just be with her?

Adam: Uh -- instead of all of us?

Okay, i think there's actually -- there's been a mistake.

I'm just gonna see if i can find someone.

I will -- i will be right back.

Of course he's gonna try and tell us...

You said you were gonna take care of this.

Yes, and that's exactly what i'm doing by letting you

Clean up your own mess. Well, that's not gonna happen.

It's not my problem they got their hands on that stupid magazine.

It absolutely is your problem, and for once, you're gonna be the one to fix it.

And how the hell am i supposed to do that?

Each one of those girls is your girlfriend

Who wants to marry you, but right now they're pissed.

I mean, listen, if i was your girlfriend,

I would be pissed, too.

What would you say to me?

If you were my girlfriend? Yeah.

What would you say to me?

I really like the eyeliner,

And with a little bit of upkeep,

You could really be something.

[ chuckles ]

Now multiply that by 10.

[ groans ]

[ rap music playing ]

[ laughter ]

This is the life, isn't it, jay?

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

Totally, chet.

You know, you have to take what life offers,

Look it in the eye, and embrace it.

Yeah. I get that.

You know, it's just like this idea i had for a show.


So, it's about blended families, you know,

Like a single mom or dad choosing a new spouse.

But the kids get to vote on it.

They make the decision.

I'm calling it "family blender."

[ chuckles ]

That's excellent.

Oh, i love it.

Hey. I'm jay.

Oh, no.

No, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

That's okay.

Not right now.

[ laughs ]

[ all shouting ]

How could you do something like this, though?


Girls! Girls!

Woman: You have something to say?

Give the man a chance to speak.

There's probably a reasonable explanation, right?

Thank you, athena.

Um...The truth is, i did start texting my ex-fiancée

After rog came to visit.

[ sighs ] woman: There you go.

Adam: Rog reminded me of home,

Of the people i grew up with

Who think it's silly for me to be on this show.

They think it's beneath me.

Which -- it sounds snobbish, i know.

But i listened.

Because when you're born into a certain class,

There's only one kind of person you're supposed to marry --

Someone exactly the same as you.

But here, with all of you, it's so new, so different,

So filled with possibilities

I never could have possibly imagined.

And i suddenly understood

That i could have something real with one of you,

Not just a reflection of my social status,

But a deeper, profound connection

That would be uniquely ours.

And that frightened me.

I wouldn't blame any of you if you wanted to leave,

Although i really hope you don't.

Because i'm sorry for acting like a coward.

I do want something real.

I am truly open to the possibility of love.

And i hope you are, too.

Woman: That's hard.

All: Aww.

It's beautiful, rachel.

Sometimes you scare me, you're so good.

That was all him.

Take credit where it's due.

Now make sure that that date that you just saved

Isn't a total disaster.

Cut to "a" camera, please.

Man: Copy.

Plotting with your little minion again, huh?

I had a nice little chat with her earlier.

Yeah, that's what i hear.

I hear you left set for dinner.

Where'd you go? A date, actually.

Where'd you go off to with jay?

Oh, please.

You knew i'd find out.

Everybody saw you and your sluts.

I have to wrap.

We leave for napa in the morning.

[ snaps fingers ] that's right. Napa.

Cynthia's really looking forward to that.

You wouldn't.

Brooks and kelly want to double date,

Congratulate us on the baby.

Maybe you can join us for a drink.

[ sighs ]

All right, so you are gonna stroll slowly.

We only have 60 feet of usable space

Since your vineyard is a rotting shithole.

Oh. Thanks.

Hi. Uh, cameras up in 30 minutes, people.

I've got eight hours of useable sunlight to make my day.

Do we have eyes on camera "a"?

Right behind you.

Just clear, people. It's a clear set!

Thank you! [ bell rings ]

[ sighs ] you let me know when you're ready.

Man: Rolling.

I hope that the person

I choose to spend the rest of my life with

Will come to love this magical place as much as i do.

[ car horn honks ]

[ tires screech ] what?

[ chuckles ]

Hello, mate. How's it going?

What? I have no idea what fresh circle of hell that is,

But keep rolling just in case.

Stay behind me. Give me some space. Hi. Yeah. Hi.

Rachel, these are some business associates

I met in san tropez earlier this year.

They just flew in to come see the, um, the vineyard. Nice to meet you.

Hi. Oh, nice. That's great.

Um, will you guys excuse us for one second? Sure.

I will bring him right back, i promise.

Sorry, guys. Thanks so much.

One second. I appreciate it.

They're potential investors, so having the show here

Will show them the kind of publicity i can get.

I don't care!

Do you know what quinn's gonna do to me

If she sees these guys here?

She's gonna rip my head off.

This is not the "fund adam cromwell show," okay?

This is a straight-up fairy tale.

Rachel, please. I need this.

I can't go back to my father.

I can't see his smug face

When he sees that i have failed again.

I just can't, okay? I can't.

Okay, if i do this for you,

I need you to do something for me.

Yeah, anything.

I need a kiss on this date, okay?

I don't care who it's with, but i want you to do it in front of the other girls.

That's really what you want?

That's what i really, really want.

Tongue or no tongue?

I want you to sell it.

I want dripping panties. I want sweaty palms.

I want it intense, and i want it hot.

Thank you.

Woman: All right. I'll grab them.

Hey. Uh, sorry about that.

You know, i thought that you were producing him.

I didn't know where it was going. Obviously, nothing's useable.

Okay, well, i don't know what you think you saw,

But i was just producing him.

No problem. The footage is all yours.

You know?

Lucky i started a new card, so it's not logged.

Nobody will miss it.

Listen, i want to thank you for working through the night

To get the place in shape. It really means a lot.

Well, it means a lot to me that you had a word with quinn.

Turns out i don't hate being the boss.

I didn't say anything to quinn.


Why'd you say that you did?

No, i said i was going to.

And i was, i just -- it was, like,

Bad timing with everything, and, look,

You got the job on your own.

You didn't even need me to say anything.

You deserve it, obviously.

Yeah. Yeah, no shit, rach.

Adam: I brought you all here today

To my first official property

Because i see in each of you the potential to be my future wife.

But any wife of mine will need to be my partner in all things,

Including this winery, which is in need of a signature wine.

You'll be blending different varieties

To discover the one that's just right for us.

So, have fun.

Pour, pour, pour. I want those girls drinking.

I want them having fun.

I want them having too much fun.

So, swish it around in your mouth.

Use your senses now to determine a flavor profile,

We'll call it.

I mean, we had to basically beg adam to shoot here.

Normally, we'd pay through the nose

To be in business with a luxury brand like cromwell

And shoot in an estate like this.

Like this?

Oh, yeah, this place -- this place is a diamond in the rough.

So, here i'm getting, uh, blackberries?

Honestly, it just tastes like sour grape juice to me.

But it's so good.

It's so good. Mm-hmm.

[ chuckles ]

I think you should be disqualified.

You do this for a living.

You didn't strike me as much of a drinker.

Is this -- is this unpleasant for you?


I've had to do a lot of difficult things in my life.

Spending the afternoon in a beautiful winery isn't so bad.

Uh, listen, do you want to go for a walk?

Love to.


Where they going?

Well, it's healthier.

It's the healthier option, for sure. Yeah.

Um... Stop, stop.

Adam: You don't drink at all?

Mary: Not at all.



It's so beautiful.

Way to go, adam. Good style.

Yeah. Yeah.

Are we supposed to be watching this?

Excuse me, but that's just tacky.

Quinn: Well, i am glad you liked it.

I look forward to reading the new issue,

Hopefully this time with fewer surprises.

[ chuckles ] oh. [ groans ]

I'm sure i don't want to know what that was about.

Oh, no, you don't.

What's this?

Oh, i was, uh, i was just gonna leave them.

Thought you'd be in napa.

Busted. [ chuckles ]

Why don't you come with?

Those girls were ready to eat you alive.

Well, thank you for sticking up for me.

I do appreciate it.

I could keep helping you, have your back,

If you keep me around.

And here i thought you wanted us

To spend the rest of our lives together.

[ scoffs ]

You and me in real life --

You wouldn't even know where to start.

You get me to the final four, and i'll be your wingman.


Uh, athena, i need you back with the other girls, okay?


Okay, look, quinn is gonna be here in 15 minutes.

I can't have her catch those guys on set.

I did what i could, but they got to go.

I haven't had a chance to make my pitch.

That's the whole point of doing this.

I need more time. Chet: Hey, adam, adam!

You met my wife, cynthia? Uh, no.

I don't believe i have. Hi. Charmed. Oh, wow.

I can see why chet keeps you hidden away.

Oh, flattery and the accent. I smell big ratings this year.

Chet: This is brooks, his lovely wife, kelly. Hi.

Brooks is a big deal up here at napa.

I am a huge fan of your family.

When i found out that you were going to be this year's suitor,

I just about died, okay.

Guys, hey. Hi.

So, you guys, what if i take you guys somewhere else

For you to relax, you know? Does that sound good?

Yep. Good.

Great. Well, give me one second.

Madison, sweetie, special assignment.

I need you to take these guys to the chapel, okay?

Do not let them leave. Do whatever it takes.

[ chuckles ] pretty good, isn't he?

I'll say. [ laughs ]

[ vehicle approaches ]

[ indistinct conversation ]

What the hell's he doing here?

Chet, it's a long time.

Seriously, this jagoff?

I'm here to do my job, chet.

Bill's my guest. Deal with it.

You know, you want to get my attention,

You don't have to roll around in the gutter, quinn.

Don't talk to her like that.

Are you serious? Wait.

You know, she's actually a grown-up now.

We -- we talk like adults.

And, uh, ever since she realized how much better she could do,

We've been screwing like grown-ups, too.

Oh, it seems like she's, uh, reconsidered.

Oh, well, am i supposed to feel threatened?

Are you gonna come after me with that big lawsuit? Quinn: You know what?

Can we at least pretend like we're adults? You know, it's been eight years.

You haven't been able to prove a thing. You know what you've done.

Yeah, i've built an empire.

How about you, you no-talent hack?

Oh, that's right, you had a show on the animal planet

That got canceled and you gave up.

Seriously? Can you guys just keep it in your pants, please?

Oh, that's right. You're the classy one. All right?

You're throwing up in the alley.

Rehab, right? Yes, i'm a drunk.

But i'm not a liar or a thief or a cheater.

You worthless piece of crap!

Are you kidding me? Oh, hey!

Stop it! Stop it!

You look like idiots, all right?

And now we have an audience.

Thank you very much.

You ever show up on my set again,

I'll punch you so hard, you'll be crapping teeth.

Show's over, people!

Which is why i'm anticipating steady growth

Once the initial overhead is paid off.

It's an extremely attractive investment, guys.

Man: Your producer, was it?

Rachel, yeah. Yes, rachel.

She is, uh, certainly convincing

About the built-in publicity angle.

Honestly, i don't know

What i'd do without her at this point.

Man: Yeah. All right. Let me go to my people.

I think they'll leap at the chance to get in bed with cromwell hospitality group.

Well, actually, i will be, um,

I will be running this place alone.

But i have full confidence.

I've spent a lot of time learning by my father's side,


[ sighs ]

Look, you may be gaining some fame

With american housewives,

But, mate, you're a walking tabloid headline.

Adam: Okay, wait. Just hear me out.

Get your father onboard.

With him, it's smooth sailing.

You alone, nobody's gonna take you seriously, mate.


Right, yeah. No, of course.

Uh...Sorry to have wasted your time, guys.

Adam, i --


Who the hell has my mike?!

Give me that. Anyone?

Prick. What was that?

We don't work for you, mate.

Why is my suitor not on camera?

Look, i was just bringing him in.

Oh, really? Because it looks like

Instead of producing the show i pay you to work on,

You were in there having a damn cocktail party.

Listen, every moment i spend producing adam on or off camera

Makes him easier to control.

And you know that i'm the person

Who taught you that bullshitty line,

So stop thinking with your clit and do your job.

[ bell rings ]

Okay, let's get you up there.

Thank you.

God forbid i try to walk 20 feet on my own.

Look, i'm sorry about what happened,

You know, but maybe once your dad sees the show --

The show's a joke, rachel, and so am i.

Don't you get that?

You all right? Yeah.

Quinn: All right, will somebody please give debbie downer

A royal kick in the ass?

What the hell are you doing with bill?

All right, whatever the hell i want.

He's a nobody. Not anymore.

He has his life together and he's not married.

Hey! I know you.

We're the same, you and me,

And bill's gonna bore you to tears.

I deserve to have a life, chet.

Let me have it.

Man: Rehearsing in three, two, one, and graham.

Graham: Each of you received an invitation to start the day,

And each of you will receive an invitation to end it.

All right, "a" camera, on adam.

Let's do this. Man: Action.

As you can see onstage, ladies,

We have envelopes with your names on them.

Two of these envelopes are empty,

Which means for a pair of you, sadly, it's time to go home.

[ gasps ]

Oh, no.

Hell. Hell, no.

We had a deal.

You lied. Whoa.

Come on. You play me, i'll play you.

Come on. Come on.

Man: Camera 1, follow athena. Yeah, follow me.

Athena. I am not stopping.

I will tell you what happened.

Y'all didn't hear the conversation we had.

I'm gonna tell you!

So, you're willing to step in for my other investors.

I had a vision for this place. Total re-branding.

The everlasting spa and resort...And goldmine.

That sounds, yeah, lovely. It really does.

It's an excellent investment for the franchise.

Brooks here would hold a 20% share.

Silent partnership.

I'd let you folks run things.

We get adam his $60 mil,

The three of us have ourselves a wine-country atm.

What do you think, honey?

How's that all sound to you? I love it.

[ british accent ] we'll have scones

And clotted cream for tea.

[ laughter ]

[ normal voice ] it's gonna be so romantic.

I always let her have the last word.

Makes a marriage work.

Yeah. [ chuckles ]

Kelly's got, uh, one last request just to seal the deal.

What do you say?

Hey, whatever it takes.

Jay: Here we go.

You think they care about a black woman in america?

Just try coming after me.

I'm gonna tell you everything.

I'll sue your ass. Another black bitch down.

Oh, she's gonna be fine.

She's super smart,

Working the race card on the way out.

She's gonna get crazy press.

She's gonna do the talk-show circuit.

[ gasps ] she might even work it into her own show.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah, that's the game, right?

She'll be a real hero for my people.

Have you seen adam?

No, he went off with chet awhile ago.


Oh, god.

[ moaning ]

Oh. [ chuckles ]

You burning the midnight oil?

Just photoshopping something for chet.

What is that?

What, you don't know?

Chet and brooks are investing in adam's vineyard,

Branding it as "everlasting."

It's ingenious, right?

I'm your boss.

I'm the one you report to.

Whoa, i was just doing what chet asked.

Okay, you know what?

You're fired.

Wait, what?

Quinn, i have worked for you for three years.

What are you talking about?

The one thing i deserve is loyalty, jay,

And you spent this whole season kissing the wrong ass.

[ scoffs ] you know what?

Y-you go ahead.

You go tell your boss you want me gone

'cause i'm pretty sure chet doesn't want a harassment suit

For making me find him hookers and weed.

You know, especially not a suit from a black, gay man.

I'll finish the season, quinn,

And after that, i'll be working for chet on his new shows.

You'll see.

[ laughs ]

You think you're special?

He'll use you up and spit you out,

Just like he does everybody else.

Seems to have worked out pretty well for you.

You're not me.

Adam: There you are.

Saw you as you were leaving, but i sort of had my hands full.

[ chuckling ] yeah. What was that?

I got my vineyard financed.

Only thing i wanted out of today, and i made it happen.

Oh, so you're a whore, huh?

Well, at least kelly enjoyed herself,

Which is more than i can say for the people you screw.

That's something you're proud of, right?

I'm the suitor, rachel.

I don't remember what pride feels like.


My father disowned me, roger lied to me,

And my ex-fiancée sold me out to bloy starcatcher

For a quick buck and some notoriety.

How do you know that? How do you exactly know that?

How do i know that? Yeah, how do you know that?

I just know. How else did it get out?

I can't trust anyone to help me,

So i did what i had to do, okay?

Listen, i can't really believe

That after everything,

After everything the show did for you today that you would...

[ chuckling ] you want me to trust the show now?


I've watched you make grown women cry without thinking twice about it.

That's who i am to you, huh?

You're my producer, and this is a game.

Isn't that what you're telling me all the time?

You're right. I'm your producer.

And right now i'm off the clock, so get out of my face.

Everlasting resort and spa?

Right? This could be amazing.

That was my idea.

And i want you to design the whole thing any way you want.

I know you're gonna make it perfect.

What did i tell you?

You and me, working together.

Design it?

Like how i designed "everlasting"?

The show that's raked in billions of dollars

That i don't even have a stake in,

The show that i could still be fired from at any minute?

Fired? What are you talking about?

You have taken everything from me.

Not anymore.

[ sighs ]

Hey, um, look. I, uh, i messed up, okay?

I lied so i could be the hero.

I just really wanted you to talk to me again.

With that said, i am sorry.

It's okay.

But i have lizzie now.

We've got a life together.

Yeah. I got it.

Hey, rach? Hmm?

Be careful with this guy. You know, think it through.

What guy?