Ugly Delicious (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Kids Menu - full transcript
So, what's the news, Dave?
Morgan, uh,
I'm calling you to tell you
that, uh, Grace is pregnant.
And, uh, we're havin' a baby.
I mean...
when we told our parents the news,
their emotion,
it was of pure joy, right?
And...
- Want to show it to us?
- Yeah.
I don't have my phone.
Ah, there it is.
- Grace!
Oh!
I was unprepared for the emotion.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Thank you. Thank you, Jesus!
- Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Amen.
I knew it was gonna be important,
but I-- I was, like, not ready for this.
Guys, it's the happiest moment
in 60 years in this country.
I'm so proud of you, son.
Thanks, Dad.
You have a baby. You have a wife.
- Okay.
- Okay, Dad.
- I love you guys.
- Ah. Yeah, I so love you.
I knew they were gonna be happy,
but I had no idea they were gonna be
that happy.
So...
- Wow. That's amazing.
- Yeah.
Very powerful.
So...
I mean...
just thinkin' about that,
it's fucking crazy to me.
The problem with being a chef and a parent
is that being a chef takes a ton of hours.
It's... all-consuming.
We really, really knew we wanted
to have a kid.
We were just looking for the right timing.
With having children,
it's never the right time.
Ever.
Especially as a chef,
for a long time,
all you do is consider
what you're doing,
what you're going through,
and the restaurant.
That's the singular most important thing.
And all of a sudden, that changes.
You have something else
that you're responsible for,
and it just kinda fucks with you
like nothing else...
you know, will.
Once you become a parent,
for me, it was the first time
that anything in my life
was more important than cooking.
You get told, you know,
"It's either a career or a child."
Like, why?
Why does it have to be a career
or a child?
All right.
I'm so tired.
- I'm so tired.
So, I've been on the road too much.
So much.
So we have nothing in the fridge
other than...
This is basically
what Grace has been eating
for every meal.
So, it's kimchi jjigae
with ground soybeans.
It looks terrible. Look at this.
When I first started to date Grace,
and Grace would be craving this dish,
I'd be, like, "Wow...
That's gnarly."
I mean, it's trash.
It's really good.
And I've been on the road so much
that it's been nice to have
my mother-in-law come in
and help Grace out and feed.
What's goin' on, Grace?
We have our 20-week scan.
It's a pretty big deal, you know,
to come... get this far,
and so now we're just making sure
in the second trimester
everything's going well.
We found out pretty early on.
We found out at, like, nine weeks, right?
Yeah, that we're having a boy.
What?
- It's a boy.
- Yeah. Yeah.
This year's been so emotional.
But this is the first time
we're gonna see it as a...
see the baby as, like, a...
little humanoid.
That's really exciting.
- So...
- It's exciting.
I should brush my teeth.
- 'Cause you have kimchi breath?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna do that.
First of all, I never thought that someone
would want to have a kid with me,
number one.
Work was my everything.
I think when I met Grace,
it was, like, "Oh."
Like, "There are other things out there."
- Are you videoing?
- Yeah.
I can't believe you can see this.
I do believe that Dave will end up being
a better parent than...
he thinks.
Look how defined the spine is.
Oh, my God. Is that his heart beating?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
He's been so emotional.
He was crying a lot.
So much.
What would happen if you found out
we're actually having a girl?
- I'd be so happy.
Just can't have another Chang man.
Hello!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hey!
- Hi, David.
- Hi, Mama.
Hi. Hi, Sammie.
Aw!
This is a miracle to see Grace
and baby.
My history...
I've been so sick all the time.
I've been cancer for 24 years.
But, since, uh, two years ago,
I-- I'm very serious, that time.
And basically, the doctor told my mom,
like, a hospice would be...
would be appropriate.
- Yeah.
- So, they put her on some new stuff,
and, you know, long story cut short,
she's healthier than she's been
in probably 20-plus years.
And when we told you over the phone
that Grace and I were expecting,
you just--
I've never seen you behave that way.
How surprised I am.
I was even crying that time.
My husband and me...
Wow, we still alive,
so I can see the... another baby.
Yeah, that's why I'm excited today.
Grace came over,
so I'm making food for Grace.
That's it.
- This is the easiest of things.
- Such a show-off.
- Is it for baby?
- Yeah.
She's just showing me how to make this
'cause it's an easy dish to make
for the baby.
- What's it called?
- It's basically
like an egg custard.
You know what? This only the boiling water
like this.
- Ah.
- Just to pour in this one.
- Ah.
- You never make this for us!
I know.
This is the newest one I've learned.
- Oh, my God.
- Ooh!
And little bit of stir,
like this.
That's it.
So simple.
What babies have you been feeding that to?
No one.
Oh, man.
- That's it.
- That's it?
Mm-hmm.
So, everybody can make this kind of food.
I think our moms
are the Korean Julia Childs.
I'm beginning to understand that,
being a parent,
it's something I've not actively avoided,
but it's been, sort of...
...underdeveloped because of work.
- No?
- No, take a bite.
And the restaurants, more or less,
have been my kids.
- I'm gonna take a bite of Mom's.
- Of mine? Okay.
It's pretty good, right?
- You like it, Jonathan?
- Yes.
David, I cannot wait for you
to have your own kids.
- It's the best thing in the world.
- It's gonna be easy.
- You've never opened restaurants.
- You'll see.
But having kids is totally different,
David.
- I don't know.
- You cannot yell at a baby.
- You cannot get mad at a baby.
- Mama!
- What about aggressive whispering?
- It doesn't work.
You have experience
handling lots of stress,
but having children is a different story.
- Oh! No! Jonathan...
Don't laugh at that, David.
- That was awesome.
- You can't laugh at those things.
That's the thing.
I don't think you know what's coming yet.
I think it's been a lot of growing up,
but also, things are more confusing to me
than ever before.
I've almost become like Peter Pan.
In some ways,
I feel like I'm 120 years old.
And there are other parts of my life
where I have no idea
what the fuck is going on.
Before you start you gotta decide,
what are you gonna cook?
Muffin.
A muffin?
- Yes.
- You want to cook a muffin?
Okay, first you gotta sift the flour.
You need to go shh-shh-shh.
There's, like, a...
a big moment of reckoning right now,
between old Dave Chang and...
"Dad" Dave Chang.
Expecting dad.
This is the muffin tins, okay?
You gotta pour the batter in here.
No.
Pour this...
into here.
You gotta put it
into individual muffin tins,
or you're basically making a cake.
You're not making a muffin.
You're making a cake.
No. No!
- And she's gone.
- Sammie, come back here.
I had to remind him,
"These aren't your employees.
This is your child,
so it's gonna be different."
I'll-- I'll keep on playing,
but you gotta make a muffin the real way.
- Uh-oh.
- I'm heading
into unknown territory.
And, like most things in my life,
I just figure it out by fucking it up.
The difference is, like...
...fucking this up might really
have serious repercussions on someone:
my-- this child.
Now that's good once you flip it.
Yeah.
I feel like it's, like,
two or three minutes.
If it's taking that long,
it's not hot enough.
Tae is, like, all over the place.
I'm trying to get him to be, like,
less hands-on.
As weird as that sounds.
You work like a crazy person, man.
Like, in the best possible sense.
All I know is, like,
you work a lot like me...
in the kitchen.
I'm telling you, man,
like, burning the candle at both ends
and just grinding it out
and getting every last ounce of juice
is, uh, not a healthy place to be.
Yeah, I'm trying to be smarter about
how extreme my emotional investment is
in any given moment,
before the kitchen
has taken its toll on you
in ways that you can't account for.
Could you imagine having a family now?
- In this moment?
- Yeah.
No.
There's an element there
where I'm like, "Fuck, man.
If I was to have kids right now,
how does this affect your career?"
It's always that thing
in the back of my mind.
Where it's like,
"Could it derail your career?"
I mean, I definitely thought that.
How do you do what you do
and then figure out time to have a family?
Yeah, that's like the--
That's the ultimate question, right?
♪ Who knows where I'm gonna be
I just try and be ♪
♪ Where I'm at when I'm there ♪
I look at some people that have had kids,
and I don't know how they've done it.
How do you get away from work?
I-- I don't have that answer yet.
♪ I try and do the best I can ♪
♪ Try and be a better man ♪
♪ Sometimes, I don't care... ♪
This wall separates our house side
from the restaurant.
- This is awesome, man.
- Yeah.
It feels very much just like you're
at someone's home in Korea.
It really does.
It's the feel of being in our home
that I think people feel
when they come here.
But it also feels like New York.
Yeah.
♪ So I just go ♪
♪ Forever yes, never no ♪
I still find it strange,
in the best possible way,
that we're in your home.
I'm like, "Peter, you got service!"
It's like 15 minutes away!
- Yeah.
- Are we 15 minutes out?
♪ I can't stop... ♪
All right.
♪ Forever yes... ♪
I mean, what you'll find a lot is, like,
you know, toys.
He'll stash his toys around,
and you'll find them in shelves and stuff.
♪ I can't stop ♪
I think I met you
when you first started cookin', right?
- Yeah.
- That was crazy.
It's funny 'cause I always looked up
to you like an older brother.
But I never even caught up with you
when you left New York.
I ended up leaving in quite a hurry.
My mom got sick,
and we just kind of dropped everything
to, like, come out here.
And then we were just like,
"You know what? We're-- "
I'm-- I was done with New York
by that point.
I had been there 13 years.
And the way I was able
to switch my mentality
was I moved to Portland.
There's no, like,
New York Times star ratings.
There's no Michelin Guide.
There are none of these pressures
that I felt in New York.
So, I can be here
and just cook food that I want to cook,
mainly for myself, and my friends,
and my family.
- I just let go of all the sort of...
- The nonsense?
...all the nonsense.
It is nonsense, you know?
Did having a kid help you realize
what's important?
I mean, I think that sounds stupid, but--
- Daddy?
- Yeah?
Uncle Dave just said "stupid."
- Yeah, I said I'm stupid.
- Oh!
- I'm sorry.
- I apologize.
- There's a very strict rule of...
of alternative words you can use.
Hey, Elliott. I'm sorry.
- I have a potty mouth.
- Uh-oh.
I see what you've done here,
and it's, like, wow.
The hominess of it all
suppresses how insane it actually is.
To live and work
in the same roof is crazy.
Yeah. But it works for us.
A lot of people come here
and they're like,
"How do separate work and life?"
And we're like,
"I don't see how you can't."
I don't see how you can be like,
"All right. Bye, Elliott.
I'll see you in 14 hours."
Which is what many of our peers
wind up doing.
Yeah.
We thought, "Okay,
This could be the dining room. You know?
We can raise our family
in the rooms on the side.
We can build a little wall."
But people walked into my bedroom,
thinking it's the bathroom.
And so many times that happened
while I was nursing Elliott.
I didn't need it to be that close,
but, you know, it's worth it
for all the family time we get to have.
So, this is as traditional
as our meal gets, right?
Because it's all the banchan.
And then we kind of do this as, like,
the ssam... like, the ssam course.
So we have just some grilled hanger steak
with the lettuces.
This is our bossam with the rice paper.
- This is great, man.
- That's basically the menu.
He just makes whatever we miss
about New York,
the things we like about LA.
He just riffs off of it.
How do you find time to cook
for your kids
when you have all this food?
For a little while,
Elliott wouldn't eat the food
from the restaurant
It was just, you know,
it wasn't simple enough for him.
It was really hard on Peter.
Do you know what it's like for a chef
whose kids won't eat your food?
Cheers.
- May God bless you with a good eater.
When you're a chef
and you have a new child,
and you think, "I'm buying all this food
that's just puréed,"
and "Why are the green beans
this army-green color?
I can make them green." So I did.
But it was helpful
to have some extra hands.
At WD50, we used to get people
that would come
and they'd want to work at the restaurant
just to gain experience.
I would make a really nice carrot puree,
or a bright-green zucchini puree,
and I would say,
"I want you to pass this twice
through a really fine sieve,
put it in these beautiful silicone molds,
and freeze them.
When they're frozen, take them out
arrange them in these zip-lock bags,
and bring them back to me."
"Yes, Chef." No questions asked.
So, I would have people that would travel
from all over the world
to come work at the restaurant.
And they didn't know it,
but they were actually making baby food.
It takes a village.
What is this?
Just sliced apples.
- That's it.
- Mm.
This is gonna be, like, dessert.
- That's a dessert for a baby?
- Yeah.
You know what? Baby food is pretty simple.
- You cook the shit out of some vegetables,
- Yeah?
and you puree it
so it's pretty easy to eat.
- Mm-hmm.
- Almost all of it tastes terrible.
- Yeah.
- Because there's no salt.
Oh, that noise!
I just want to get my mic in there
for that noise.
- Yeah, that noise.
- Oh, yeah!
So, to everybody at home,
this is how your show is, right?
- Yeah.
- So, everybody at home,
you might not have
a professional hand blender,
so you just use any infomercial product
you can get your hands on.
In this case,
we're using my high-powered dildo today.
What do you got? Yams here?
Delicious. If I were a baby or an adult,
I would eat this.
That's actually really good!
Now, is this how you would make
yams for Thanksgiving?
No, I would mount it with as much butter
as humanly possible.
And can babies have butter?
I don't think that's kosher.
- You want to keep your baby trim, right?
You want, like, a skinny baby, right?
Needs salt.
Yeah.
But look at this color. It's gorgeous.
Yeah, but no baby's gonna be, like,
"Yeah! Gimme some more of that!"
Maybe they hate vegetables growing up
because they get shitty fucking ways
to cook it.
Oh, you're gonna start
a fucking baby-food company.
- "Baby Chang's."
Come on! How could you not start
something called "Baby Chang's"?
And you honestly look
a little bit like a baby.
- A little bit.
- "I'm not only the chef,
I'm also a client."
We have a baby to test the food.
- That you just stole?
- Yeah.
- We stole a baby. He's sitting out there.
- On the street? Great.
Oh, my God.
Looks like
we've got a hungry customer already.
It doesn't look like
he's gonna be a tough sell
if he's eating the table.
- Oh, nice job.
- What do you think?
I'm gonna get a bad Yelp review.
Hey, man,
you got something on your face.
All we need is Tom Selleck
and Steve Guttenberg, and we're set.
- Yeah, he likes it.
- Oh, you gotta get that table, man.
Can kids eat wood, or no?
I'm surprised by how much food
is already all over him.
- It's food on you, too!
- Yeah, he just put his food on me.
- I know you're a high-fashion guy,
you're gonna have to rethink
your whole wardrobe.
I want to dress the same as the baby.
This looks like honey mustard.
Babies love honey mustard.
That's not good.
You want these peas?
Oh, my God!
- Oh!
- Aw!
Can you believe neither of us
have had a child yet?
Slip-sloppin' right out of his mouth.
Do you wish more people
at your restaurants
did that as they ate?
- Are you taking a dump? Yeah!
Oh, I can't wait to see this come out
in the rainbow of colors.
Your doodie's gonna look
like an LGBTQ flag.
I'm gonna feed more of these peas
that this baby doesn't like.
Isn't it crazy
to think you are going to be doing this
with, like, a tiny version of you, soon?
I don't even understand it.
This week on Ugly Delicious...
tables and napkins,
the most delicious thing
in a baby's mouth.
Feeding children...
you figure out what they like,
and you make whatever that is
the most delicious and the most nutritious
it could be.
I try to just have them
eat what we're eating
and sometimes it's a struggle.
If I decide to pick a fight with him
and try to force him to eat,
I'm gonna lose this battle.
We're better off
just putting the food down,
and if he says, "I don't wanna eat this,"
we ignore it.
And, eventually, he'll eat it.
She loves pizza.
She saves the crusts
and calls them "pizza bones."
And she'll eat those later.
I spend a lot of time
thinking about the foods
that I cook at the restaurant
And even our kids menu
is driven on the foods
that I would actually cook for my son.
My boys love food.
So, it's very exciting for me
to eat with them, cook with them,
introduce them to cool stuff.
I think that's the best gift
I could've given them.
But kids are tricky.
You gotta treat each one
like they're their own person.
You just can't, you know,
put everybody in a box.
I feel like foods for kids,
in general,
has to get better.
I mean, what we feed people in schools
is garbage.
It's like, the people
that need to be fed the best
are fed the worst.
And I know there are people
that are actively working their asses off
to make that change.
The most talented and knowledgeable people
that are in the food world
are catering
to such a small percentage of people
And there's all these other people
out there that need to eat,
but no thought is going into that.
I met Dan when he was at Noma.
He was the head chef
of the number one restaurant in the world.
You knew that you needed
to make a change.
- Right.
- And you hatched this idea
of you working in school kitchens.
Yeah.
The point of it
is to get professionally trained chefs
to really rethink what school food can be.
All right, let's go.
And you have third graders
here today, Dave.
I'm trying to think,
"What does a third grader want to eat?"
Probably nothing that you've ever cooked.
If you're a public school
in the United States,
you need to serve a meal that fits
very strict nutritional guidelines.
These are dictated by the USDA.
So, you have oil, there's butter.
You see? That is how much butter
you can use for four meals.
- It's not a lot.
- Do you ever just, like, sneak more in?
No, we can't.
'Cause I might.
I should take a tally
because you're gonna try to cheat.
So, we have about $1.25
to come up with a lunch
that feeds kids.
- Can I get some honey?
- Yep.
- Not that much, right?
- Stop. We can't afford that much.
That's probably like 30%
of your food cost right there.
That's not enough.
Damn it!
I can use as many vegetables as I want?
Pretty much. Obviously, though,
the vegetables are the hardest sell
when it comes to the kids.
And that's the hardest part.
You go through all this trouble,
you come up with a meal,
and then a student
who legitimately is starving
and hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday,
chooses not to eat your meal
because it's not appetizing to them
at all.
This is hard, bro.
I remember you telling me
that "I'm gonna approach this
the same way that I'd approach
anything else in my life.
That's right.
- "And I want to make a difference."
- That's right.
I think they'll like that.
I just love this right now.
You're just, like, sweating.
You're not even plating
on a level surface.
- What, you just abandon any kind of...
- Yeah.
- Just plate up here.
- I learned by watching you!
The whole reason we do tastings
in the first place
is because a lot of these dishes
we do for the first time are new.
If you just take a shot in the dark
for 1,000 kids
with a meal they've never had before,
you could have a real big disaster
on your hands.
- I think it looks very good.
- I think it looks good!
I want to eat this.
All right, Dave. What have we got?
I decided
I'll make you guys a chicken rice.
Go for it, you guys. Get into it.
It's actually kind of good.
"It's actually kind of good"?
What did you say?
The chicken is awesome.
- Oh!
- What do you think, sir?
- Do not rush him, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh!
- Yes!
- They're happy with the rice, man.
You've done well.
You've done well, bro.
- Thank you.
They're really putting away the food, man.
They are. They like it.
I will say, the work is really hard,
but when you see,
especially the little kids,
eating some of this stuff,
you're just, like...
- It's amazing.
- You gotta feel good about that.
I know, right? That's the stuff, man.
So, tell me,
what are you feeling right now?
I just want to eat something again.
First trimester is really hard.
First trimester, I was miserable.
Any kind of food I would look at,
I just couldn't.
How was your nausea yesterday?
- Horrible.
- Horrible?
Hormones are gonna peak...
soon.
It's so hard.
I would have moments of random cravings.
The first craving she had
was macaroni and cheese.
I ran to the supermarket,
bought everything.
He made a beautiful pot
of macaroni and cheese.
And then I brought it to her,
and she was, like, "No."
- I did not want that.
I told him, specifically, "From the box."
I didn't even touch the one he made.
I knew how sad he was.
But he can't say anything.
He's like, "Okay.
I'll make you Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
- I kept telling myself,
"It's all worth it."
I texted Dave one day,
and I told him, "The first meal I want
once this baby's out is sushi."
Good sushi, if we can.
This is amazing.
- I don't think I've ever seen
- A whole...
A whole tuna.
So, how pregnant are you?
So, right now, we're...
-21 weeks,
- Uh-huh.
and I'm craving everything.
It's...
Obviously, sushi's one of them.
But it's been tough
because there's a lot of foods
that I love eating.
Like, oysters
and an occasional glass of wine,
- that I haven't been able to indulge.
- Yeah.
You know, your book sheds light
on something
that so many women have questions about.
Yeah, I mean, they give you this list:
hot dogs, and sushi, and oysters,
and it's just so hard to figure out
which things were, like, important.
I got very frustrated.
And I'm an economist.
Like, I'm a data person,
and so I ended up just, like, trying
to basically use research
to sort of figure out
not only, like, are these things right,
- but also why.
- Right.
Like, why am I not supposed
to have turkey?
And, like, many of those restrictions,
there's nothing special
about being pregnant.
- Mm.
- Like, if you eat bad sushi
or a bad oyster, like,
you can get sick.
- No matter what?
- No matter what.
And it doesn't pass to the baby.
Like, there's not anything
sort of pregnancy-specific
- about the fact that it's bad.
- Huh. That's interesting.
Was your doctor more,
"It's okay to have a glass of wine
once in a while," or was--
So, my doctor, she said,
"Don't have a lot,
If you want to, like, occasionally
have a glass of wine, it's...
it's, like, totally fine."
I think that she had a reaction
I think a lot of people have,
which was, like,
"Sure, we don't really know."
- Mm-hmm.
- But, like,
what's the...
what's the downside to avoiding it?
- Right.
- And I think that was the thing
I found most frustrating.
Why isn't the fact
that I would like to have this
something that is valued?
Right! And so, at what point
do you actually just take it as,
"It's okay to have a glass of wine
once in a while and have sushi."
All fish are okay to have occasionally.
This is a charcoal-seared pike mackerel
with deep-fried ginkgo nuts.
- This looks amazing.
- This really looks amazing.
And your daughter's fine.
I have two kids. They're totally fine.
I'm so--
I'm so happy I'm here with you right now.
As women, chefs are ready.
We're, like, expected
to be the caretakers of everyone.
But having to juggle that
when, you know, your employees,
everyone needs something from you,
your tickets are racking up...
- MLM to go.
...the baby is crying, like...
You know,
it's a lot that you have to balance.
I have an almost-nine-month-old baby.
I'm still nursing him,
which is really difficult,
finding time while I'm at work
to, you know, to get milk for him.
It's a powerful and beautiful thing
to be a woman.
It's really amazing to see
the many different women
who are able to...
go through this and...
raise children and do their best.
So, this is miyeok-guk.
It's traditionally beef broth,
but my mom would make it
with just myulchi broth,
which is just anchovy--
No, miyeok-guk is no myulchi.
You made it with myulchi
- all the time!
- No. no, no.
Oh, my gosh.
She's lying through her teeth.
- Why is miyeok-guk important?
- A lot of iron.
- A lot of iron?
- And a lot of minerals.
- A lot of minerals.
- Especially for the pregnant woman.
- Pregnant woman.
- For baby.
And it helps clean the blood
after she's given birth.
You have to eat it for 30 days, right?
- More than that.
- More than 30 days.
So I have to make this for, what?
Like, 90 days for Grace?
- My mom's gonna make it.
Esther, how much miyeok-guk did you eat?
I ate it for three days,
and I couldn't take it anymore.
And then I... pretended to eat it
for a month.
Mom doesn't know that.
That's a symbolism of your defiance
to your parents, Esther.
Are there foods
that pregnant women should
or shouldn't eat?
Something round.
Not square ones.
Peoples, you know, character--
Square character is no good,
- so everything is round.
- What are you-- What?
So...
"Square food, no good"?
No, what I mean
is that bad shapes are not good.
She was saying that only round--
Yeah, she said,
"round food, not square food."
- I'm just trying to get a clarification.
It's almost like a spelling bee.
Could I get it in a sentence, please?
What's "square food"?
How do I put it?
Square foods are foods
that don't make you comfortable.
She's not talking
about the geometry of food.
She's talking about a certain kind of--
The properties of a food.
Mom, did you
feed your babies with formula?
In our days, almost everyone fed
their babies with formula.
- But now, for me...
- Uh-huh?
You're going to breastfeed, right?
It's good
that you guys are going to do that.
Yeah.
So, everyone has a different take
on how they make miyeok-guk.
My mom would add soy sauce,
but Dave's mom adds fish sauce.
- Right now?
- Yeah. Just-- Yeah, the salt.
This is fascinating.
A very different approach.
It's like two different kung fu styles.
It is.
So, another thing is,
this actually carries over
into anyone's birthday.
You eat this every day
on your birthday to celebrate your mom.
So...
whenever it's my birthday
and my mom's not around,
she'll call and say,
"Did you eat your miyeok-guk?"
They're gonna be good parents.
Especially Grace.
Let's be honest.
You like Grace more than me anyway now.
- Thank you, Lord,
we have a nice daughter-in-law
in my family.
That's the way. Mm.
- Is this me?
- Yeah.
I've never seen these photos.
Oh, my God.
Look at your hanbok. Where's that?
That's somebody's wedding.
- Mom, you look great!
- Hmm?
- Oh, I was great!
I have a picture of me being a bad parent.
I have a picture of me
not being able to be present.
Me, being on planes.
The alternative is...
I just want to make bento boxes
for their school lunches.
That would give me a lot of pleasure.
Okay, it's time for preparing lunch.
Wash your hands.
I've heard that, particularly in Japan,
the elementary school kids eat
extraordinarily well.
And that they'd always served each other.
All these, like, Confucian elements
of service to each other, responsibility,
accountability.
Group two, go ahead.
Rito is organizing...
everyone.
Does that change every day?
Yes,
a different student serves school lunch
every day.
He's just organizing...
Ah.
He's the traffic controller.
Yeah.
This is amazing.
Our menu
always consists of some carbs like rice,
with plenty of servings of veggies.
Just like today's soup.
And just like today's sukiyaki,
which also has a lot of vegetables.
On top of that,
I add some fruit for vitamin C
to make it balanced.
♪ Thanks for the food ♪
Thanks for the food!
We let them decide
how much they can eat that day,
and control portions before eating.
Some ask for more, some ask for less.
We encourage them to not waste anything
on their plate.
They have to try to eat it all.
They are practicing
how to use chopsticks
and how to hold a bowl.
Some people are better
than others, I can see.
Mm-hmm.
Lunch starts with eat-only time.
It is for kids to just enjoy
and focus on eating.
The kids are not allowed to talk.
What about, like, fats and sodium?
There are recommended amounts,
so I'll try to keep it
within the allowable range.
So, would a normal person say
this is not salty enough?
Adults say this meal is delicious, too.
I make it flavorful using soup stock,
which is traditional in Japan.
The stock makes it flavorful
without too much salt.
Can I taste the food?
Yeah.
- Hello!
- Hello.
Eat-only time has finished,
so everyone can now talk
and enjoy the rest of the meal.
- That's really good.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
My brain is, like, stopping
because I'm so excited.
No, this is extremely good.
Even for someone
who's allowed to have sushi at all times.
- I am not allowed to have sushi this good.
This is amazing.
This is a charcoal-grilled
Japanese freshwater eel
presented with wasabi and Sansho pepper.
Thank you.
You almost feel like you have to go
through this pregnancy
alone and in hiding.
And you have to be careful that
you follow all these rules
and restrictions
- because, otherwise--
- People are gonna judge you.
Judge me. Yeah.
- They'll say you don't like your baby.
- Mm-hmm.
I think the other thing was people
feel like they can tell you things.
Just, like, people on the street.
One time, I was buying coffee,
and some lady was like,
"I hope that's decaf."
I should've been like,
"It's not, actually, no.
And I'm putting an extra shot in."
You wouldn't go up to someone
who's overweight and be like,
- "I hope that that's a salad you're-- "
- Right.
Why is it okay to comment...
- On a pregnant woman.
- ...on that?
I don't think there are a lot
of other experiences
where people feel
that they can judge you like that.
Right.
Pregnancy,
although it's an amazing experience,
can also be a very lonely experience.
I mean, first of all,
there was a year and a half of trying.
- Yeah.
- And so, there was already that pressure
of trying to conceive.
And then, once you do conceive,
again, that process might be lonely, too,
because you can't really tell people
you know, if you're pregnant or not
in that first three months.
And that was really difficult for me.
I think that's terrible.
I had a close friend
who had a miscarriage.
She told me early on.
And she said,
"I'm so glad that I told people
because this is such, like,
an isolating experience.
It's hard, right?
Because I think most mothers
definitely bond over the fact
that it's something we all share.
And that husbands
won't really understand...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- ...at all.
I was...
really worried
that it probably wouldn't happen.
And I was coming to terms with, like,
"We're probably looking at adoption."
I wasn't ready for the day
that it happened,
and I know when it happened.
It was the day after Tony Bourdain died.
Yeah. It's fucking crazy.
Why? Why did you know that?
Because we went to the clinic.
And I was, like, sobbing.
You know?
So...
much like I am now.
And that was the last place
I wanted to be.
I just--
It's the last...
last thing I wanted to do at that time,
was try to bring life into this world.
Um...
So...
when we found out, like, two weeks later,
I was like, "That's not fucking possible.
That's not fucking possible."
That's when Dave just lost it,
and he couldn't... process,
like, how life and death
can pass each other by so closely.
I was at Momofuku
when my daughter was born.
And I left work and got fucking wasted
with my best friend.
And I was like, "I am fucked."
Being a chef, there wasn't really talk
about life/work balance.
It was just work.
I can look back and say I was a real shit
or something,
but for me it was like,
"I'm singularly focused on this.
Yes, I love my-- my-- my son,
and I want to spend time with him,
but, you know, I have a job to do."
I never had time
to see what my boys were doing.
One day a week, I had to do a double.
So on Mondays, I did a double.
I would go in in the morning,
and come back when he was sleeping.
So Tuesday evenings, when I did come in,
he would totally ignore me
as if I didn't exist.
And that was his way of telling me, like,
"Where the fuck were you?"
When Dave and I first met,
and just even
throughout our first year of marriage,
at that point in his career,
he had already entrusted
a lot of the head chefs at his restaurant,
so he wasn't in the restaurant hours.
Come Majordomo,
that's when I realized, "Okay...
this is what people talk about
when they talk about chefs working
crazy restaurant hours
and having a hard time being home."
I'm a control freak at work.
Anywhere I have difficulties in life
is when I try to...
- attack life like work.
- Yeah.
Not a surprise, it doesn't work.
I see how my work life can spill out
negatively with Grace,
and I was stressing her out.
And all of a sudden,
she just falls on the floor
in so much agony and pain.
We went to the hospital
and nothing happened, but...
it was a terrifying experience for her,
for me.
I feel so bad for being such a jerk
to somebody in a relationship.
- Yeah.
- I was so ill-equipped,
and it hurts me when she's always, like,
"I know that work
is, like, essentially your first love."
Right? Like, for her to even,
like, utter those words,
- is always like, "Oh, God."
- Yeah.
It's crazy, but when you hold your baby
in your arms for the first time...
Oh, my God.
The feeling like you've awakened
and it's the first day
of the rest of your life.
And all the decisions you make
in the business
are gonna be related to this child,
because your one main question
is going to be,
"How is this gonna affect my child?"
I went in, one person, into the hospital.
And I came out
not knowing who I was any more.
All of a sudden, my life goal has changed
to keeping this baby alive.
And, you know, I don't want
to do the things that I wanted to before.
I don't have the same friends
as I did before.
You know, my personality changes.
Are you okay with this change?
Or are you nostalgic for the past?
I'm nostalgic for the past.
But at the same time,
I would never give up my kids
for anything.
God, you love them so much. You know?
It's overwhelming and it's exhausting,
but there is nothing in this world
that has ever mattered before
and...
and they do make you better people.
All right, what are we doing?
We're gonna go through all the baby stuff.
You've never seen these outfits.
I didn't know you bought all this shit.
Like, yeah, how do you do this?
- This is not a scarf.
- I have to Google it.
Go ahead and wrap that
around your midsection
Grabbing this end,
and pulling it over the opposite shoulder.
- You don't want to create...
- Slow the fuck down.
Okay, wait. So, now we bring it over.
Gather it up,
push it through this tag section,
make an X on the front, here.
- Did I do something wrong?
- Let me just tie it from the back.
This one behind this way.
We're gonna just start spreading
all the way across the bend.
Okay, so maybe this guy's not for you.
I have another one that's better for you.
What do you think?
Okay, so...
I, for the life of me,
have never quite understood
the idea of reincarnation.
I think it's a beautiful thing
to think about.
- Other way.
- Maybe it's more of a metaphor.
You know,
I have to be the best version of myself,
you have to be the best version
of yourself,
to bestow the best qualities
onto our-- our child,
so they can be
the best version of themselves, right?
And that's just, like, a continuous link.
Clip that in.
You look like a dad already.
- Someone needs to put me in a Baby Bjorn.
Congratulations!
- Thank you.
- I just--
- I just heard.
- Yeah.
Well...
it's happening.
When I had my oldest,
it hit me so unexpectedly.
Although I do know about
the birds and the bees, by the way.
So I know where she came from.
- However, I was 28.
I was the pastry chef
at the recently opened Spago restaurant.
Was there ever a moment, like,
"I can't cook anymore."
Nope. There was just never an option.
I knew I was having a baby,
and I knew I was gonna continue
doing what I was gonna do.
- And I was gonna make it work.
- Man.
I didn't tell Wolfgang that I was pregnant
because I was sort of afraid to.
But I told him
after about five, six months
that I was pregnant,
and his reaction immediately was,
"So what? So, you bring the baby to work."
And that's exactly what I did.
I used to put her
in the giant Hobart mixing bowl.
- In there. And she loved it.
And she couldn't go anywhere.
She was safe.
- It's a perfect...
- Exactly, don't forget about that.
When I started La Brea Bakery,
and six months later, opened Campanile,
I was lucky enough that I lived upstairs
from the restaurant.
I would bake from midnight to eight.
I would run upstairs,
just covered in flour,
throw together my kids' lunch.
I would then immediately go to sleep
for about three or four hours.
I'd wake up around 11,
and I would go into the pastry department,
and I would get the cooks set
for that day,
make some dessert,
show them some new ones,
go back upstairs, take another nap,
come back downstairs
and plate desserts for the evening.
I'd go back up around ten,
and I would take a two-hour nap,
and down at 12 to work.
And that's what I did.
For close to two years, that schedule.
I was getting, like, stressed out
just listening to that.
Like, I've always thought about you
as someone that was a mentor/hero
because of just your culinary endeavors,
right?
But now I'm looking at it, like,
"Oh, man, she's done this
while raising three kids
and growing a business."
Like, I don't even understand that.
You gotta step back and you gotta realize,
and this might be a silly comparison,
but having a child
is not like creating a recipe.
You don't have that control.
And you gotta do the best you can,
and give all the tools for success.
But in the end,
that kid is gonna grow up,
and that kid's gonna be that kid.
What are you feeling, Grace?
It's snowing. It's so pretty.
You're doing great, babe.
What are you feeling now?
- I'm trying to stay calm.
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
- I can't stop crying.
- I should turn the camera on you.
We'll see you guys soon.
All right, Dad,
you come around, right here.
- Okay.
- And give me the camera.
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
♪ Yes, oh, baby... ♪
I'm so proud of Dave.
It's gonna bring a new set of challenges,
but at the same time,
it's just been so exciting for us.
♪ Feels so good walkin' side by side ♪
When I wake up,
I get a "Good morning, Daddy."
That's my stress release.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
I just had to keep going, no matter what.
Like, literally every day
from that point on,
was with my daughter in mind.
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
Feeding your kid,
it's the microcosm of all your beliefs.
It almost brings cooking back
to why you cared about it to begin with.
I'm here to put all of myself in this
so you can get some nourishment
and some love from it.
Morgan, uh,
I'm calling you to tell you
that, uh, Grace is pregnant.
And, uh, we're havin' a baby.
I mean...
when we told our parents the news,
their emotion,
it was of pure joy, right?
And...
- Want to show it to us?
- Yeah.
I don't have my phone.
Ah, there it is.
- Grace!
Oh!
I was unprepared for the emotion.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Thank you. Thank you, Jesus!
- Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Amen.
I knew it was gonna be important,
but I-- I was, like, not ready for this.
Guys, it's the happiest moment
in 60 years in this country.
I'm so proud of you, son.
Thanks, Dad.
You have a baby. You have a wife.
- Okay.
- Okay, Dad.
- I love you guys.
- Ah. Yeah, I so love you.
I knew they were gonna be happy,
but I had no idea they were gonna be
that happy.
So...
- Wow. That's amazing.
- Yeah.
Very powerful.
So...
I mean...
just thinkin' about that,
it's fucking crazy to me.
The problem with being a chef and a parent
is that being a chef takes a ton of hours.
It's... all-consuming.
We really, really knew we wanted
to have a kid.
We were just looking for the right timing.
With having children,
it's never the right time.
Ever.
Especially as a chef,
for a long time,
all you do is consider
what you're doing,
what you're going through,
and the restaurant.
That's the singular most important thing.
And all of a sudden, that changes.
You have something else
that you're responsible for,
and it just kinda fucks with you
like nothing else...
you know, will.
Once you become a parent,
for me, it was the first time
that anything in my life
was more important than cooking.
You get told, you know,
"It's either a career or a child."
Like, why?
Why does it have to be a career
or a child?
All right.
I'm so tired.
- I'm so tired.
So, I've been on the road too much.
So much.
So we have nothing in the fridge
other than...
This is basically
what Grace has been eating
for every meal.
So, it's kimchi jjigae
with ground soybeans.
It looks terrible. Look at this.
When I first started to date Grace,
and Grace would be craving this dish,
I'd be, like, "Wow...
That's gnarly."
I mean, it's trash.
It's really good.
And I've been on the road so much
that it's been nice to have
my mother-in-law come in
and help Grace out and feed.
What's goin' on, Grace?
We have our 20-week scan.
It's a pretty big deal, you know,
to come... get this far,
and so now we're just making sure
in the second trimester
everything's going well.
We found out pretty early on.
We found out at, like, nine weeks, right?
Yeah, that we're having a boy.
What?
- It's a boy.
- Yeah. Yeah.
This year's been so emotional.
But this is the first time
we're gonna see it as a...
see the baby as, like, a...
little humanoid.
That's really exciting.
- So...
- It's exciting.
I should brush my teeth.
- 'Cause you have kimchi breath?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna do that.
First of all, I never thought that someone
would want to have a kid with me,
number one.
Work was my everything.
I think when I met Grace,
it was, like, "Oh."
Like, "There are other things out there."
- Are you videoing?
- Yeah.
I can't believe you can see this.
I do believe that Dave will end up being
a better parent than...
he thinks.
Look how defined the spine is.
Oh, my God. Is that his heart beating?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
He's been so emotional.
He was crying a lot.
So much.
What would happen if you found out
we're actually having a girl?
- I'd be so happy.
Just can't have another Chang man.
Hello!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hey!
- Hi, David.
- Hi, Mama.
Hi. Hi, Sammie.
Aw!
This is a miracle to see Grace
and baby.
My history...
I've been so sick all the time.
I've been cancer for 24 years.
But, since, uh, two years ago,
I-- I'm very serious, that time.
And basically, the doctor told my mom,
like, a hospice would be...
would be appropriate.
- Yeah.
- So, they put her on some new stuff,
and, you know, long story cut short,
she's healthier than she's been
in probably 20-plus years.
And when we told you over the phone
that Grace and I were expecting,
you just--
I've never seen you behave that way.
How surprised I am.
I was even crying that time.
My husband and me...
Wow, we still alive,
so I can see the... another baby.
Yeah, that's why I'm excited today.
Grace came over,
so I'm making food for Grace.
That's it.
- This is the easiest of things.
- Such a show-off.
- Is it for baby?
- Yeah.
She's just showing me how to make this
'cause it's an easy dish to make
for the baby.
- What's it called?
- It's basically
like an egg custard.
You know what? This only the boiling water
like this.
- Ah.
- Just to pour in this one.
- Ah.
- You never make this for us!
I know.
This is the newest one I've learned.
- Oh, my God.
- Ooh!
And little bit of stir,
like this.
That's it.
So simple.
What babies have you been feeding that to?
No one.
Oh, man.
- That's it.
- That's it?
Mm-hmm.
So, everybody can make this kind of food.
I think our moms
are the Korean Julia Childs.
I'm beginning to understand that,
being a parent,
it's something I've not actively avoided,
but it's been, sort of...
...underdeveloped because of work.
- No?
- No, take a bite.
And the restaurants, more or less,
have been my kids.
- I'm gonna take a bite of Mom's.
- Of mine? Okay.
It's pretty good, right?
- You like it, Jonathan?
- Yes.
David, I cannot wait for you
to have your own kids.
- It's the best thing in the world.
- It's gonna be easy.
- You've never opened restaurants.
- You'll see.
But having kids is totally different,
David.
- I don't know.
- You cannot yell at a baby.
- You cannot get mad at a baby.
- Mama!
- What about aggressive whispering?
- It doesn't work.
You have experience
handling lots of stress,
but having children is a different story.
- Oh! No! Jonathan...
Don't laugh at that, David.
- That was awesome.
- You can't laugh at those things.
That's the thing.
I don't think you know what's coming yet.
I think it's been a lot of growing up,
but also, things are more confusing to me
than ever before.
I've almost become like Peter Pan.
In some ways,
I feel like I'm 120 years old.
And there are other parts of my life
where I have no idea
what the fuck is going on.
Before you start you gotta decide,
what are you gonna cook?
Muffin.
A muffin?
- Yes.
- You want to cook a muffin?
Okay, first you gotta sift the flour.
You need to go shh-shh-shh.
There's, like, a...
a big moment of reckoning right now,
between old Dave Chang and...
"Dad" Dave Chang.
Expecting dad.
This is the muffin tins, okay?
You gotta pour the batter in here.
No.
Pour this...
into here.
You gotta put it
into individual muffin tins,
or you're basically making a cake.
You're not making a muffin.
You're making a cake.
No. No!
- And she's gone.
- Sammie, come back here.
I had to remind him,
"These aren't your employees.
This is your child,
so it's gonna be different."
I'll-- I'll keep on playing,
but you gotta make a muffin the real way.
- Uh-oh.
- I'm heading
into unknown territory.
And, like most things in my life,
I just figure it out by fucking it up.
The difference is, like...
...fucking this up might really
have serious repercussions on someone:
my-- this child.
Now that's good once you flip it.
Yeah.
I feel like it's, like,
two or three minutes.
If it's taking that long,
it's not hot enough.
Tae is, like, all over the place.
I'm trying to get him to be, like,
less hands-on.
As weird as that sounds.
You work like a crazy person, man.
Like, in the best possible sense.
All I know is, like,
you work a lot like me...
in the kitchen.
I'm telling you, man,
like, burning the candle at both ends
and just grinding it out
and getting every last ounce of juice
is, uh, not a healthy place to be.
Yeah, I'm trying to be smarter about
how extreme my emotional investment is
in any given moment,
before the kitchen
has taken its toll on you
in ways that you can't account for.
Could you imagine having a family now?
- In this moment?
- Yeah.
No.
There's an element there
where I'm like, "Fuck, man.
If I was to have kids right now,
how does this affect your career?"
It's always that thing
in the back of my mind.
Where it's like,
"Could it derail your career?"
I mean, I definitely thought that.
How do you do what you do
and then figure out time to have a family?
Yeah, that's like the--
That's the ultimate question, right?
♪ Who knows where I'm gonna be
I just try and be ♪
♪ Where I'm at when I'm there ♪
I look at some people that have had kids,
and I don't know how they've done it.
How do you get away from work?
I-- I don't have that answer yet.
♪ I try and do the best I can ♪
♪ Try and be a better man ♪
♪ Sometimes, I don't care... ♪
This wall separates our house side
from the restaurant.
- This is awesome, man.
- Yeah.
It feels very much just like you're
at someone's home in Korea.
It really does.
It's the feel of being in our home
that I think people feel
when they come here.
But it also feels like New York.
Yeah.
♪ So I just go ♪
♪ Forever yes, never no ♪
I still find it strange,
in the best possible way,
that we're in your home.
I'm like, "Peter, you got service!"
It's like 15 minutes away!
- Yeah.
- Are we 15 minutes out?
♪ I can't stop... ♪
All right.
♪ Forever yes... ♪
I mean, what you'll find a lot is, like,
you know, toys.
He'll stash his toys around,
and you'll find them in shelves and stuff.
♪ I can't stop ♪
I think I met you
when you first started cookin', right?
- Yeah.
- That was crazy.
It's funny 'cause I always looked up
to you like an older brother.
But I never even caught up with you
when you left New York.
I ended up leaving in quite a hurry.
My mom got sick,
and we just kind of dropped everything
to, like, come out here.
And then we were just like,
"You know what? We're-- "
I'm-- I was done with New York
by that point.
I had been there 13 years.
And the way I was able
to switch my mentality
was I moved to Portland.
There's no, like,
New York Times star ratings.
There's no Michelin Guide.
There are none of these pressures
that I felt in New York.
So, I can be here
and just cook food that I want to cook,
mainly for myself, and my friends,
and my family.
- I just let go of all the sort of...
- The nonsense?
...all the nonsense.
It is nonsense, you know?
Did having a kid help you realize
what's important?
I mean, I think that sounds stupid, but--
- Daddy?
- Yeah?
Uncle Dave just said "stupid."
- Yeah, I said I'm stupid.
- Oh!
- I'm sorry.
- I apologize.
- There's a very strict rule of...
of alternative words you can use.
Hey, Elliott. I'm sorry.
- I have a potty mouth.
- Uh-oh.
I see what you've done here,
and it's, like, wow.
The hominess of it all
suppresses how insane it actually is.
To live and work
in the same roof is crazy.
Yeah. But it works for us.
A lot of people come here
and they're like,
"How do separate work and life?"
And we're like,
"I don't see how you can't."
I don't see how you can be like,
"All right. Bye, Elliott.
I'll see you in 14 hours."
Which is what many of our peers
wind up doing.
Yeah.
We thought, "Okay,
This could be the dining room. You know?
We can raise our family
in the rooms on the side.
We can build a little wall."
But people walked into my bedroom,
thinking it's the bathroom.
And so many times that happened
while I was nursing Elliott.
I didn't need it to be that close,
but, you know, it's worth it
for all the family time we get to have.
So, this is as traditional
as our meal gets, right?
Because it's all the banchan.
And then we kind of do this as, like,
the ssam... like, the ssam course.
So we have just some grilled hanger steak
with the lettuces.
This is our bossam with the rice paper.
- This is great, man.
- That's basically the menu.
He just makes whatever we miss
about New York,
the things we like about LA.
He just riffs off of it.
How do you find time to cook
for your kids
when you have all this food?
For a little while,
Elliott wouldn't eat the food
from the restaurant
It was just, you know,
it wasn't simple enough for him.
It was really hard on Peter.
Do you know what it's like for a chef
whose kids won't eat your food?
Cheers.
- May God bless you with a good eater.
When you're a chef
and you have a new child,
and you think, "I'm buying all this food
that's just puréed,"
and "Why are the green beans
this army-green color?
I can make them green." So I did.
But it was helpful
to have some extra hands.
At WD50, we used to get people
that would come
and they'd want to work at the restaurant
just to gain experience.
I would make a really nice carrot puree,
or a bright-green zucchini puree,
and I would say,
"I want you to pass this twice
through a really fine sieve,
put it in these beautiful silicone molds,
and freeze them.
When they're frozen, take them out
arrange them in these zip-lock bags,
and bring them back to me."
"Yes, Chef." No questions asked.
So, I would have people that would travel
from all over the world
to come work at the restaurant.
And they didn't know it,
but they were actually making baby food.
It takes a village.
What is this?
Just sliced apples.
- That's it.
- Mm.
This is gonna be, like, dessert.
- That's a dessert for a baby?
- Yeah.
You know what? Baby food is pretty simple.
- You cook the shit out of some vegetables,
- Yeah?
and you puree it
so it's pretty easy to eat.
- Mm-hmm.
- Almost all of it tastes terrible.
- Yeah.
- Because there's no salt.
Oh, that noise!
I just want to get my mic in there
for that noise.
- Yeah, that noise.
- Oh, yeah!
So, to everybody at home,
this is how your show is, right?
- Yeah.
- So, everybody at home,
you might not have
a professional hand blender,
so you just use any infomercial product
you can get your hands on.
In this case,
we're using my high-powered dildo today.
What do you got? Yams here?
Delicious. If I were a baby or an adult,
I would eat this.
That's actually really good!
Now, is this how you would make
yams for Thanksgiving?
No, I would mount it with as much butter
as humanly possible.
And can babies have butter?
I don't think that's kosher.
- You want to keep your baby trim, right?
You want, like, a skinny baby, right?
Needs salt.
Yeah.
But look at this color. It's gorgeous.
Yeah, but no baby's gonna be, like,
"Yeah! Gimme some more of that!"
Maybe they hate vegetables growing up
because they get shitty fucking ways
to cook it.
Oh, you're gonna start
a fucking baby-food company.
- "Baby Chang's."
Come on! How could you not start
something called "Baby Chang's"?
And you honestly look
a little bit like a baby.
- A little bit.
- "I'm not only the chef,
I'm also a client."
We have a baby to test the food.
- That you just stole?
- Yeah.
- We stole a baby. He's sitting out there.
- On the street? Great.
Oh, my God.
Looks like
we've got a hungry customer already.
It doesn't look like
he's gonna be a tough sell
if he's eating the table.
- Oh, nice job.
- What do you think?
I'm gonna get a bad Yelp review.
Hey, man,
you got something on your face.
All we need is Tom Selleck
and Steve Guttenberg, and we're set.
- Yeah, he likes it.
- Oh, you gotta get that table, man.
Can kids eat wood, or no?
I'm surprised by how much food
is already all over him.
- It's food on you, too!
- Yeah, he just put his food on me.
- I know you're a high-fashion guy,
you're gonna have to rethink
your whole wardrobe.
I want to dress the same as the baby.
This looks like honey mustard.
Babies love honey mustard.
That's not good.
You want these peas?
Oh, my God!
- Oh!
- Aw!
Can you believe neither of us
have had a child yet?
Slip-sloppin' right out of his mouth.
Do you wish more people
at your restaurants
did that as they ate?
- Are you taking a dump? Yeah!
Oh, I can't wait to see this come out
in the rainbow of colors.
Your doodie's gonna look
like an LGBTQ flag.
I'm gonna feed more of these peas
that this baby doesn't like.
Isn't it crazy
to think you are going to be doing this
with, like, a tiny version of you, soon?
I don't even understand it.
This week on Ugly Delicious...
tables and napkins,
the most delicious thing
in a baby's mouth.
Feeding children...
you figure out what they like,
and you make whatever that is
the most delicious and the most nutritious
it could be.
I try to just have them
eat what we're eating
and sometimes it's a struggle.
If I decide to pick a fight with him
and try to force him to eat,
I'm gonna lose this battle.
We're better off
just putting the food down,
and if he says, "I don't wanna eat this,"
we ignore it.
And, eventually, he'll eat it.
She loves pizza.
She saves the crusts
and calls them "pizza bones."
And she'll eat those later.
I spend a lot of time
thinking about the foods
that I cook at the restaurant
And even our kids menu
is driven on the foods
that I would actually cook for my son.
My boys love food.
So, it's very exciting for me
to eat with them, cook with them,
introduce them to cool stuff.
I think that's the best gift
I could've given them.
But kids are tricky.
You gotta treat each one
like they're their own person.
You just can't, you know,
put everybody in a box.
I feel like foods for kids,
in general,
has to get better.
I mean, what we feed people in schools
is garbage.
It's like, the people
that need to be fed the best
are fed the worst.
And I know there are people
that are actively working their asses off
to make that change.
The most talented and knowledgeable people
that are in the food world
are catering
to such a small percentage of people
And there's all these other people
out there that need to eat,
but no thought is going into that.
I met Dan when he was at Noma.
He was the head chef
of the number one restaurant in the world.
You knew that you needed
to make a change.
- Right.
- And you hatched this idea
of you working in school kitchens.
Yeah.
The point of it
is to get professionally trained chefs
to really rethink what school food can be.
All right, let's go.
And you have third graders
here today, Dave.
I'm trying to think,
"What does a third grader want to eat?"
Probably nothing that you've ever cooked.
If you're a public school
in the United States,
you need to serve a meal that fits
very strict nutritional guidelines.
These are dictated by the USDA.
So, you have oil, there's butter.
You see? That is how much butter
you can use for four meals.
- It's not a lot.
- Do you ever just, like, sneak more in?
No, we can't.
'Cause I might.
I should take a tally
because you're gonna try to cheat.
So, we have about $1.25
to come up with a lunch
that feeds kids.
- Can I get some honey?
- Yep.
- Not that much, right?
- Stop. We can't afford that much.
That's probably like 30%
of your food cost right there.
That's not enough.
Damn it!
I can use as many vegetables as I want?
Pretty much. Obviously, though,
the vegetables are the hardest sell
when it comes to the kids.
And that's the hardest part.
You go through all this trouble,
you come up with a meal,
and then a student
who legitimately is starving
and hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday,
chooses not to eat your meal
because it's not appetizing to them
at all.
This is hard, bro.
I remember you telling me
that "I'm gonna approach this
the same way that I'd approach
anything else in my life.
That's right.
- "And I want to make a difference."
- That's right.
I think they'll like that.
I just love this right now.
You're just, like, sweating.
You're not even plating
on a level surface.
- What, you just abandon any kind of...
- Yeah.
- Just plate up here.
- I learned by watching you!
The whole reason we do tastings
in the first place
is because a lot of these dishes
we do for the first time are new.
If you just take a shot in the dark
for 1,000 kids
with a meal they've never had before,
you could have a real big disaster
on your hands.
- I think it looks very good.
- I think it looks good!
I want to eat this.
All right, Dave. What have we got?
I decided
I'll make you guys a chicken rice.
Go for it, you guys. Get into it.
It's actually kind of good.
"It's actually kind of good"?
What did you say?
The chicken is awesome.
- Oh!
- What do you think, sir?
- Do not rush him, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh!
- Yes!
- They're happy with the rice, man.
You've done well.
You've done well, bro.
- Thank you.
They're really putting away the food, man.
They are. They like it.
I will say, the work is really hard,
but when you see,
especially the little kids,
eating some of this stuff,
you're just, like...
- It's amazing.
- You gotta feel good about that.
I know, right? That's the stuff, man.
So, tell me,
what are you feeling right now?
I just want to eat something again.
First trimester is really hard.
First trimester, I was miserable.
Any kind of food I would look at,
I just couldn't.
How was your nausea yesterday?
- Horrible.
- Horrible?
Hormones are gonna peak...
soon.
It's so hard.
I would have moments of random cravings.
The first craving she had
was macaroni and cheese.
I ran to the supermarket,
bought everything.
He made a beautiful pot
of macaroni and cheese.
And then I brought it to her,
and she was, like, "No."
- I did not want that.
I told him, specifically, "From the box."
I didn't even touch the one he made.
I knew how sad he was.
But he can't say anything.
He's like, "Okay.
I'll make you Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
- I kept telling myself,
"It's all worth it."
I texted Dave one day,
and I told him, "The first meal I want
once this baby's out is sushi."
Good sushi, if we can.
This is amazing.
- I don't think I've ever seen
- A whole...
A whole tuna.
So, how pregnant are you?
So, right now, we're...
-21 weeks,
- Uh-huh.
and I'm craving everything.
It's...
Obviously, sushi's one of them.
But it's been tough
because there's a lot of foods
that I love eating.
Like, oysters
and an occasional glass of wine,
- that I haven't been able to indulge.
- Yeah.
You know, your book sheds light
on something
that so many women have questions about.
Yeah, I mean, they give you this list:
hot dogs, and sushi, and oysters,
and it's just so hard to figure out
which things were, like, important.
I got very frustrated.
And I'm an economist.
Like, I'm a data person,
and so I ended up just, like, trying
to basically use research
to sort of figure out
not only, like, are these things right,
- but also why.
- Right.
Like, why am I not supposed
to have turkey?
And, like, many of those restrictions,
there's nothing special
about being pregnant.
- Mm.
- Like, if you eat bad sushi
or a bad oyster, like,
you can get sick.
- No matter what?
- No matter what.
And it doesn't pass to the baby.
Like, there's not anything
sort of pregnancy-specific
- about the fact that it's bad.
- Huh. That's interesting.
Was your doctor more,
"It's okay to have a glass of wine
once in a while," or was--
So, my doctor, she said,
"Don't have a lot,
If you want to, like, occasionally
have a glass of wine, it's...
it's, like, totally fine."
I think that she had a reaction
I think a lot of people have,
which was, like,
"Sure, we don't really know."
- Mm-hmm.
- But, like,
what's the...
what's the downside to avoiding it?
- Right.
- And I think that was the thing
I found most frustrating.
Why isn't the fact
that I would like to have this
something that is valued?
Right! And so, at what point
do you actually just take it as,
"It's okay to have a glass of wine
once in a while and have sushi."
All fish are okay to have occasionally.
This is a charcoal-seared pike mackerel
with deep-fried ginkgo nuts.
- This looks amazing.
- This really looks amazing.
And your daughter's fine.
I have two kids. They're totally fine.
I'm so--
I'm so happy I'm here with you right now.
As women, chefs are ready.
We're, like, expected
to be the caretakers of everyone.
But having to juggle that
when, you know, your employees,
everyone needs something from you,
your tickets are racking up...
- MLM to go.
...the baby is crying, like...
You know,
it's a lot that you have to balance.
I have an almost-nine-month-old baby.
I'm still nursing him,
which is really difficult,
finding time while I'm at work
to, you know, to get milk for him.
It's a powerful and beautiful thing
to be a woman.
It's really amazing to see
the many different women
who are able to...
go through this and...
raise children and do their best.
So, this is miyeok-guk.
It's traditionally beef broth,
but my mom would make it
with just myulchi broth,
which is just anchovy--
No, miyeok-guk is no myulchi.
You made it with myulchi
- all the time!
- No. no, no.
Oh, my gosh.
She's lying through her teeth.
- Why is miyeok-guk important?
- A lot of iron.
- A lot of iron?
- And a lot of minerals.
- A lot of minerals.
- Especially for the pregnant woman.
- Pregnant woman.
- For baby.
And it helps clean the blood
after she's given birth.
You have to eat it for 30 days, right?
- More than that.
- More than 30 days.
So I have to make this for, what?
Like, 90 days for Grace?
- My mom's gonna make it.
Esther, how much miyeok-guk did you eat?
I ate it for three days,
and I couldn't take it anymore.
And then I... pretended to eat it
for a month.
Mom doesn't know that.
That's a symbolism of your defiance
to your parents, Esther.
Are there foods
that pregnant women should
or shouldn't eat?
Something round.
Not square ones.
Peoples, you know, character--
Square character is no good,
- so everything is round.
- What are you-- What?
So...
"Square food, no good"?
No, what I mean
is that bad shapes are not good.
She was saying that only round--
Yeah, she said,
"round food, not square food."
- I'm just trying to get a clarification.
It's almost like a spelling bee.
Could I get it in a sentence, please?
What's "square food"?
How do I put it?
Square foods are foods
that don't make you comfortable.
She's not talking
about the geometry of food.
She's talking about a certain kind of--
The properties of a food.
Mom, did you
feed your babies with formula?
In our days, almost everyone fed
their babies with formula.
- But now, for me...
- Uh-huh?
You're going to breastfeed, right?
It's good
that you guys are going to do that.
Yeah.
So, everyone has a different take
on how they make miyeok-guk.
My mom would add soy sauce,
but Dave's mom adds fish sauce.
- Right now?
- Yeah. Just-- Yeah, the salt.
This is fascinating.
A very different approach.
It's like two different kung fu styles.
It is.
So, another thing is,
this actually carries over
into anyone's birthday.
You eat this every day
on your birthday to celebrate your mom.
So...
whenever it's my birthday
and my mom's not around,
she'll call and say,
"Did you eat your miyeok-guk?"
They're gonna be good parents.
Especially Grace.
Let's be honest.
You like Grace more than me anyway now.
- Thank you, Lord,
we have a nice daughter-in-law
in my family.
That's the way. Mm.
- Is this me?
- Yeah.
I've never seen these photos.
Oh, my God.
Look at your hanbok. Where's that?
That's somebody's wedding.
- Mom, you look great!
- Hmm?
- Oh, I was great!
I have a picture of me being a bad parent.
I have a picture of me
not being able to be present.
Me, being on planes.
The alternative is...
I just want to make bento boxes
for their school lunches.
That would give me a lot of pleasure.
Okay, it's time for preparing lunch.
Wash your hands.
I've heard that, particularly in Japan,
the elementary school kids eat
extraordinarily well.
And that they'd always served each other.
All these, like, Confucian elements
of service to each other, responsibility,
accountability.
Group two, go ahead.
Rito is organizing...
everyone.
Does that change every day?
Yes,
a different student serves school lunch
every day.
He's just organizing...
Ah.
He's the traffic controller.
Yeah.
This is amazing.
Our menu
always consists of some carbs like rice,
with plenty of servings of veggies.
Just like today's soup.
And just like today's sukiyaki,
which also has a lot of vegetables.
On top of that,
I add some fruit for vitamin C
to make it balanced.
♪ Thanks for the food ♪
Thanks for the food!
We let them decide
how much they can eat that day,
and control portions before eating.
Some ask for more, some ask for less.
We encourage them to not waste anything
on their plate.
They have to try to eat it all.
They are practicing
how to use chopsticks
and how to hold a bowl.
Some people are better
than others, I can see.
Mm-hmm.
Lunch starts with eat-only time.
It is for kids to just enjoy
and focus on eating.
The kids are not allowed to talk.
What about, like, fats and sodium?
There are recommended amounts,
so I'll try to keep it
within the allowable range.
So, would a normal person say
this is not salty enough?
Adults say this meal is delicious, too.
I make it flavorful using soup stock,
which is traditional in Japan.
The stock makes it flavorful
without too much salt.
Can I taste the food?
Yeah.
- Hello!
- Hello.
Eat-only time has finished,
so everyone can now talk
and enjoy the rest of the meal.
- That's really good.
- Yeah?
Thank you.
My brain is, like, stopping
because I'm so excited.
No, this is extremely good.
Even for someone
who's allowed to have sushi at all times.
- I am not allowed to have sushi this good.
This is amazing.
This is a charcoal-grilled
Japanese freshwater eel
presented with wasabi and Sansho pepper.
Thank you.
You almost feel like you have to go
through this pregnancy
alone and in hiding.
And you have to be careful that
you follow all these rules
and restrictions
- because, otherwise--
- People are gonna judge you.
Judge me. Yeah.
- They'll say you don't like your baby.
- Mm-hmm.
I think the other thing was people
feel like they can tell you things.
Just, like, people on the street.
One time, I was buying coffee,
and some lady was like,
"I hope that's decaf."
I should've been like,
"It's not, actually, no.
And I'm putting an extra shot in."
You wouldn't go up to someone
who's overweight and be like,
- "I hope that that's a salad you're-- "
- Right.
Why is it okay to comment...
- On a pregnant woman.
- ...on that?
I don't think there are a lot
of other experiences
where people feel
that they can judge you like that.
Right.
Pregnancy,
although it's an amazing experience,
can also be a very lonely experience.
I mean, first of all,
there was a year and a half of trying.
- Yeah.
- And so, there was already that pressure
of trying to conceive.
And then, once you do conceive,
again, that process might be lonely, too,
because you can't really tell people
you know, if you're pregnant or not
in that first three months.
And that was really difficult for me.
I think that's terrible.
I had a close friend
who had a miscarriage.
She told me early on.
And she said,
"I'm so glad that I told people
because this is such, like,
an isolating experience.
It's hard, right?
Because I think most mothers
definitely bond over the fact
that it's something we all share.
And that husbands
won't really understand...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- ...at all.
I was...
really worried
that it probably wouldn't happen.
And I was coming to terms with, like,
"We're probably looking at adoption."
I wasn't ready for the day
that it happened,
and I know when it happened.
It was the day after Tony Bourdain died.
Yeah. It's fucking crazy.
Why? Why did you know that?
Because we went to the clinic.
And I was, like, sobbing.
You know?
So...
much like I am now.
And that was the last place
I wanted to be.
I just--
It's the last...
last thing I wanted to do at that time,
was try to bring life into this world.
Um...
So...
when we found out, like, two weeks later,
I was like, "That's not fucking possible.
That's not fucking possible."
That's when Dave just lost it,
and he couldn't... process,
like, how life and death
can pass each other by so closely.
I was at Momofuku
when my daughter was born.
And I left work and got fucking wasted
with my best friend.
And I was like, "I am fucked."
Being a chef, there wasn't really talk
about life/work balance.
It was just work.
I can look back and say I was a real shit
or something,
but for me it was like,
"I'm singularly focused on this.
Yes, I love my-- my-- my son,
and I want to spend time with him,
but, you know, I have a job to do."
I never had time
to see what my boys were doing.
One day a week, I had to do a double.
So on Mondays, I did a double.
I would go in in the morning,
and come back when he was sleeping.
So Tuesday evenings, when I did come in,
he would totally ignore me
as if I didn't exist.
And that was his way of telling me, like,
"Where the fuck were you?"
When Dave and I first met,
and just even
throughout our first year of marriage,
at that point in his career,
he had already entrusted
a lot of the head chefs at his restaurant,
so he wasn't in the restaurant hours.
Come Majordomo,
that's when I realized, "Okay...
this is what people talk about
when they talk about chefs working
crazy restaurant hours
and having a hard time being home."
I'm a control freak at work.
Anywhere I have difficulties in life
is when I try to...
- attack life like work.
- Yeah.
Not a surprise, it doesn't work.
I see how my work life can spill out
negatively with Grace,
and I was stressing her out.
And all of a sudden,
she just falls on the floor
in so much agony and pain.
We went to the hospital
and nothing happened, but...
it was a terrifying experience for her,
for me.
I feel so bad for being such a jerk
to somebody in a relationship.
- Yeah.
- I was so ill-equipped,
and it hurts me when she's always, like,
"I know that work
is, like, essentially your first love."
Right? Like, for her to even,
like, utter those words,
- is always like, "Oh, God."
- Yeah.
It's crazy, but when you hold your baby
in your arms for the first time...
Oh, my God.
The feeling like you've awakened
and it's the first day
of the rest of your life.
And all the decisions you make
in the business
are gonna be related to this child,
because your one main question
is going to be,
"How is this gonna affect my child?"
I went in, one person, into the hospital.
And I came out
not knowing who I was any more.
All of a sudden, my life goal has changed
to keeping this baby alive.
And, you know, I don't want
to do the things that I wanted to before.
I don't have the same friends
as I did before.
You know, my personality changes.
Are you okay with this change?
Or are you nostalgic for the past?
I'm nostalgic for the past.
But at the same time,
I would never give up my kids
for anything.
God, you love them so much. You know?
It's overwhelming and it's exhausting,
but there is nothing in this world
that has ever mattered before
and...
and they do make you better people.
All right, what are we doing?
We're gonna go through all the baby stuff.
You've never seen these outfits.
I didn't know you bought all this shit.
Like, yeah, how do you do this?
- This is not a scarf.
- I have to Google it.
Go ahead and wrap that
around your midsection
Grabbing this end,
and pulling it over the opposite shoulder.
- You don't want to create...
- Slow the fuck down.
Okay, wait. So, now we bring it over.
Gather it up,
push it through this tag section,
make an X on the front, here.
- Did I do something wrong?
- Let me just tie it from the back.
This one behind this way.
We're gonna just start spreading
all the way across the bend.
Okay, so maybe this guy's not for you.
I have another one that's better for you.
What do you think?
Okay, so...
I, for the life of me,
have never quite understood
the idea of reincarnation.
I think it's a beautiful thing
to think about.
- Other way.
- Maybe it's more of a metaphor.
You know,
I have to be the best version of myself,
you have to be the best version
of yourself,
to bestow the best qualities
onto our-- our child,
so they can be
the best version of themselves, right?
And that's just, like, a continuous link.
Clip that in.
You look like a dad already.
- Someone needs to put me in a Baby Bjorn.
Congratulations!
- Thank you.
- I just--
- I just heard.
- Yeah.
Well...
it's happening.
When I had my oldest,
it hit me so unexpectedly.
Although I do know about
the birds and the bees, by the way.
So I know where she came from.
- However, I was 28.
I was the pastry chef
at the recently opened Spago restaurant.
Was there ever a moment, like,
"I can't cook anymore."
Nope. There was just never an option.
I knew I was having a baby,
and I knew I was gonna continue
doing what I was gonna do.
- And I was gonna make it work.
- Man.
I didn't tell Wolfgang that I was pregnant
because I was sort of afraid to.
But I told him
after about five, six months
that I was pregnant,
and his reaction immediately was,
"So what? So, you bring the baby to work."
And that's exactly what I did.
I used to put her
in the giant Hobart mixing bowl.
- In there. And she loved it.
And she couldn't go anywhere.
She was safe.
- It's a perfect...
- Exactly, don't forget about that.
When I started La Brea Bakery,
and six months later, opened Campanile,
I was lucky enough that I lived upstairs
from the restaurant.
I would bake from midnight to eight.
I would run upstairs,
just covered in flour,
throw together my kids' lunch.
I would then immediately go to sleep
for about three or four hours.
I'd wake up around 11,
and I would go into the pastry department,
and I would get the cooks set
for that day,
make some dessert,
show them some new ones,
go back upstairs, take another nap,
come back downstairs
and plate desserts for the evening.
I'd go back up around ten,
and I would take a two-hour nap,
and down at 12 to work.
And that's what I did.
For close to two years, that schedule.
I was getting, like, stressed out
just listening to that.
Like, I've always thought about you
as someone that was a mentor/hero
because of just your culinary endeavors,
right?
But now I'm looking at it, like,
"Oh, man, she's done this
while raising three kids
and growing a business."
Like, I don't even understand that.
You gotta step back and you gotta realize,
and this might be a silly comparison,
but having a child
is not like creating a recipe.
You don't have that control.
And you gotta do the best you can,
and give all the tools for success.
But in the end,
that kid is gonna grow up,
and that kid's gonna be that kid.
What are you feeling, Grace?
It's snowing. It's so pretty.
You're doing great, babe.
What are you feeling now?
- I'm trying to stay calm.
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
- I can't stop crying.
- I should turn the camera on you.
We'll see you guys soon.
All right, Dad,
you come around, right here.
- Okay.
- And give me the camera.
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
♪ Yes, oh, baby... ♪
I'm so proud of Dave.
It's gonna bring a new set of challenges,
but at the same time,
it's just been so exciting for us.
♪ Feels so good walkin' side by side ♪
When I wake up,
I get a "Good morning, Daddy."
That's my stress release.
♪ Oh, baby ♪
I just had to keep going, no matter what.
Like, literally every day
from that point on,
was with my daughter in mind.
♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪
Feeding your kid,
it's the microcosm of all your beliefs.
It almost brings cooking back
to why you cared about it to begin with.
I'm here to put all of myself in this
so you can get some nourishment
and some love from it.