Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 4, Episode 18 - London Calling - full transcript
Betty gets an assignment to cover London Fashion Week, accompanied by Amanda, and she brings Hilda along as a bachelorette party treat. She reconnects w/Christina and also runs into Gio unexpectedly. Willie joins AA to get closer to Tyler and to double-cross Claire and Daniel, and Bobby can't figure out why Justin is spending all his time with Austin -- until he can.
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Previously on Ugly Betty...
Hey, Austin.
Just leaving another message.
Don't really know how you're feeling.
Here, the candy...
Tyler is not
who you think he is.
Who is he, then?
- He's your brother.
- So who's the father? Huh?
And now you tell me
there's some little bastard out there
who could just waltz in here
and demand his cut.
It's Meade.
I want the whole damn company.
No more Nice Willie.
Tyler? I'm Wilhelmina Slater.
- They're gone?
- Betty, you look great.
You may now kiss the bride.
What, are you stepping out on me
before our wedding?
I guess it's a little hard to tell us apart
now that I'm not wearing braces.
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay, enough monkey business.
Baby, according to
How to Plan a Wedding in 60 Days,
we were supposed to have a wedding
photographer, like, last week.
"Based on the popular blog. "
This woman turned her blog
into a book.
Meanwhile, I haven't even posted
in over a month
because I've been so busy at work.
Well, I hope you haven't been too busy
to plan my bachelorette party
this weekend.
Hey, I got my party planned.
Booze, boobs,
and a bus to Atlantic City.
- You're traveling?
- Yeah.
Why does he get to travel?
I want to travel!
Travel is the part
that you have a problem with?
Ay, please,
like he's gonna do better than this.
- That's right.
- Anyway, maid of honor,
what fun thing are we doing?
Well, get ready,
because I have scored us
a private,
after-hours champagne tour at the Met!
Get out of here!
- That's a good one! The Met!
- The Met?
That would have been
the worst bachelorette party ever!
Right? I know.
I was keeping the real party a surprise.
- Okay, good.
- You're gonna love it!
See you later.
Hey, Justin. You want a ride to school?
No, sorry, I'm walking with Austin.
Justin doesn't walk.
He's told me 1,000 times,
"Shoes are for fashion, not function. "
I know.
You know, we used to be friends.
I don't know what's up with him lately.
Maybe I did something wrong.
You're about to be his new stepfather.
That's got to be weird for a kid.
- You know what? This weekend...
- Yeah, that's true.
...you guys go
and do something fun together.
That's a good idea.
And that is my parents in a nutshell.
I don't mean to keep harping on this,
but you don't have any news
tracking down my father, do you?
Actually, I do.
I just learned that the rehab facility
where we met shut down,
and those records can't be retrieved,
so we'll never be able to find him.
I'm so sorry, Tyler.
It's okay.
So, I was conceived at a rehab facility.
I guess
I was destined to be an alcoholic.
I don't think we should joke about that.
Have you spoken to Daniel yet?
I tried, but he doesn't want
anything to do with me.
I hate that you're leaving so soon and
you two never got to know each other.
It's fine.
I came to meet you,
and that part worked out.
Oh! I could take Hilda horseback riding
for her bachelorette party.
Or better yet? Naked horseback riding.
You're welcome.
- Gross. And, ow!
- Well, I'm out of ideas then.
- Well, all of your ideas involve nudity.
- You're welcome.
Stop saying that.
An e-mail from the trapeze school.
A thousand dollars?
Come on, that was my favorite option.
This totally sucks.
- Are you talking to me?
- No, I was talking to...
- Never mind.
- So, what sucks?
I have to plan the perfect
bachelorette party for my sister
and nothing is working out.
It's just really disappointing.
Well, I know disappointment.
My half-brother hates me and I have
no hope of finding my biological father.
Okay. Perspective.
Well, if it helps,
I've known Daniel for years.
And if you just give him time,
he'll come around.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go
deal with something annoying.
- I see you.
- So...
What, are you on Team Tyler now?
No, Daniel, I'm not on team anyone.
Tyler is not a bad guy.
Put yourself in his shoes.
Shoes?
More like smelly old cowboy boots.
- Okay, you're five years old.
- No, you're five years old.
Someone needs a nap.
We'll talk about this later.
Fine. But I'm putting you down
for Team Daniel.
As requested,
here is some clothing from the mall.
Now, I'm not one to pry,
but you didn't exactly specify
what this is all for.
It's for an important meeting that I can't
be seen wearing cashmere and furs.
Mysterious. Still not prying, but would
this meeting have anything to do
with your plan
to overthrow the Meades?
Yes. It involves Claire's recently
revealed love child, Tyler.
Oh, he's such a rube. And he's so hot.
Must he be a part of all this?
He's just a pawn.
The weak link in the Meade chain.
I gain his trust,
everything else falls into place.
Willie's being all weird again.
And you're being...
British. I'm trying to look authentic
for my trip to London with Daniel,
but it feels like I'm missing something.
- A riding crop? A horse? Dignity?
- Wow. Somebody's jealous.
Yeah, I'm jealous.
You get to go all the way to London,
and I have to stay here and figure out
who I'm gonna take as my plus one
- to Hilda's stupid straight wedding.
- Why don't you bring your boyfriend?
Oh, my God, I totally forgot,
I have that boyfriend, Trey.
- Troy.
- I like Trey better. Or Trevor.
We'll talk about it,
I'm sure he'll want to weigh in.
You're going to the London
Fashion Week, Daniel? Really?
There are some big designers there.
You call it the training bra
of fashion weeks.
And you're only ever interested
in the big, sexy ones.
So, why are you going?
Is this one of those times
where you ask me a question
that you already know the answer to?
The answer is,
you don't need to be there.
You're just going to avoid
this whole thing with Tyler. Am I right?
You know what?
I hate it when you know me.
So, send someone in your place
and stay here.
Reach out to your long-lost half-brother
who traveled across the country
to meet you,
- who you've been nothing but a jerk to.
- Okay, fine.
Fine. But who's gonna go to London?
- You?
- No, I can't go.
I have to stay
and plan Hilda's bachelorette party.
I still have no idea what I'm gonna do.
She wants something big
and exciting and fun, but with travel.
- Wait a second.
- I can't believe it!
A bachelorette trip to London!
Oh, my gosh!
I thought your party
was gonna be so lame-ass!
- Hey!
- But it turns out it's gonna be bad-ass!
- Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Yeah!
- Suck on that, Talercio!
- Suck on it!
- Suarez sisters are going to London!
- London!
Oh, my God, we're in London!
Ms. Suarez, welcome.
Oh, you know my name.
Of course.
We're very honored to have you here.
Oh, my God,
you are totally famous here!
Please wait, I'd like to tip you.
I'm sure I have a few extra pounds
in here somewhere.
Somewhere? What about here,
and here, and here?
- And right about here.
- Hey!
You are working for her this week.
Can you be nice?
Betty!
- She looks so elegant!
- I know.
Eyes up, you dozy choob!
Hey! Watch where you're going.
- Yeah, yeah, stick it up your fish pipe!
There's the drunk I remember.
Look at you! No braces!
Look at you!
How's Stuart and the baby?
They're good. But they're at home,
so how soon can we get a drink
in this mama's hand
and get this hen night started?
Well, there's an opening night
cocktail party in, like, 30 minutes.
Right-o! Cheerio!
Oh, my God, I sound like a local, right?
- Right.
- Yeah, right?
- Let's go.
- You're getting married!
These past few months
have been the most challenging.
Away from home, and my family,
and my routine.
I've actually been slipping up a lot.
And I've got to say that things can
get pretty dark when I drink.
But I'm thankful that I can come here
for your support.
I see a new face in the back.
Will you please stand
and introduce yourself?
My name is Wilhelmina S.
And I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Wilhelmina.
You know
I love hanging out at your house,
playing video games, watching movies.
But do you think we should go
somewhere else some time?
What, like your house?
Like on a date. Is that weird?
No. No, not at all. I love it.
You know, our first real date.
- How about tomorrow night?
- What are we gonna do?
- I'll surprise you.
Hey! What's up, J?
Hey. Hi, Bobby.
You know that
my mom is in London, right?
Yeah. Exactly. That's why I'm here.
Listen, I'm thinking we have
a special bachelor party for me.
- Suarez men only. Tomorrow night.
- All right.
Sounds like fun,
but Austin and I have plans.
But don't let me stop you and Grandpa
from, you know, tearing up the clubs.
Can you change your plans?
This is important.
- I don't really think...
- It's cool. We can do it another time.
- Hey, thanks, Austin.
- All right!
Tomorrow night,
the Three Amigos vs. The big city.
- I'm so sorry.
- Big city, look out.
Hidey ho, bitches!
Hey, where'd that bag come from?
I rifled through your stuff earlier
and it was not in there.
The designer
had it messengered to me.
I could get used to that.
As the designated bachelorette,
I call dibs on the next freebie.
So sorry to interrupt. I just had to
tell you I loved your last show.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Okay, that was, like, the third person
who's come up to you.
- Do they think you're Judi Dench?
- I'm afraid not.
You see, I had a little show here
about a month ago
- and, well, some people kind of liked it.
- Come on.
Wow. Christina,
your dreams came true.
- That's not what I saw for you.
- I really need a break from her.
- We're gonna go get a drink at the bar.
- Yep!
Here we go, my dear.
Oh, my God, Christina,
that's Lindsay Dunne!
He's, like, the most powerful publisher
in all of Britain.
- And he's coming this way.
- Christina.
Mr. Dunne, good to see you.
This is my good friend, Betty Suarez.
She actually works at Mode magazine
as a features editor.
- Ms. Suarez, a pleasure.
- No, me.
I mean, I am the pleasured one.
Betty is a rising star, actually, and
she's clearly very excited to meet you.
Well, I'm flattered. I'm always
on the lookout for a rising star.
Okay.
Would you be interested
in an opportunity to do more?
More? What do you mean?
Well, one of
my fashion magazines, Ultramod,
has lost its New York-based columnist.
Being that you're familiar
with the scene over there,
would you have any interest
in interviewing?
Oh.
- You could still keep your job at Mode.
- Wow.
That would be amazing. Yes.
All right, then.
Call my office and set up a meeting.
I have my work, which I love,
but it cannot fill the void
of my estranged family.
Thank you for sharing.
Okay, everyone, see you next week.
Ms. Slater. I had no idea.
- Tyler, please call me Wilhelmina.
- Yeah.
Well, I guess my little secret is out.
I'd appreciate it if you would not
say a word to Claire or Daniel.
Of course. And I know
how tough it is when you need to talk,
and you can't turn to
the people around you.
Well, thank God we have our sponsors.
You do have a sponsor, don't you?
Actually, since I've been here,
I haven't been able
to connect with anybody.
Well, don't say another word.
Consider Willie your sponsor.
Would you like another scone?
No. I can barely eat. I'm so excited
to go to these fashion shows.
Hilda, a couple years ago I was lucky
to be standing behind a tent pole.
And now, I mean, I don't want to get
my hopes up, but I might get a chair.
Ooh! A chair! That means a gift bag.
And as your designated bachelorette...
- Your name is already on it.
- Yay!
Okay, we really have to leave.
A waiter has just come up to Amanda
and asked her
if she wanted bangers and mash.
- She followed him into the loo.
- Turns out it's just food.
Okay, bachelorettes,
since I can't be with you,
I have planned out the perfect day.
Itineraries.
Maximizes historical sites, minimizes...
Fun?
I was going to say "travel time. "
They're just suggestions.
And I promise I will catch up with you
as soon as I can.
All right, but, Betty,
you'd better not be late for my party
or I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey, you know that
here that means "drunk. "
That works, too.
Take lots of pictures!
So, how are things going
with the Meades?
I was so touched by what you shared
about getting to know your family.
Well, I'm actually going out tonight
with Daniel.
- He wants us to get along.
- That's very noble of him.
What is it?
Well, I've just known the Meades
for a long time,
and they're not the most forthcoming.
Well, Claire's been totally straight
with me.
I mean, just this morning
she was telling me about my father.
How they met in rehab,
and how she's done everything
she could to track him down for me.
Tyler, can I be frank?
They're terrified of you.
- What?
- Well, it's true.
As far as they're concerned, you're
just another claim to their empire.
Well, I just want to get to know
my family.
Well, I know that,
but I'm not as cynical as the Meades.
I wouldn't be surprised if they tried
to pay you off just to get rid of you.
Come on.
They wouldn't do that, would they?
I've held my tongue long enough.
I do own half this company, too,
so it's time we talk
about Claire's bastard child.
What are you talking about?
You think this hayseed
crawled out of his corn crib
and came all the way to Manhattan
just for a family reunion?
Look, I'm no fan of the guy,
but I don't think Tyler's after our money.
Daniel, are you that naive?
Take my advice.
Take him out on the town
with his new big brother.
Get him through a couple of velvet
ropes and make him feel like a big shot.
Then write him a big, fat check
and stick him
on the first train back to Hicksville.
Well, you're probably right.
Even the Meades
would never sink that low.
Sugar?
Trey. There you are. Hi, Trey.
It's Troy. And you know I don't like it
when you pick new names for me.
Actually, I didn't know that.
You're so complicated, Trevor.
I'm sorry, I've been so busy lately.
I got this promotion, but you are in luck
because I've got a wedding
this Saturday and you're my date.
Actually, I'm seeing someone else now.
- What? No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
Do you really care? You haven't
called me in, like, two months.
- I said I was busy.
- Look, I get it.
I know I came across a little stalkery
and you got freaked out.
But you were my first boyfriend.
I was excited.
- You used to sleep on my stoop.
- Okay, that was one time
and that was because you kept saying,
"One minute, I'll be right down. "
Then you never... You didn't show.
So, I'm patient. There are worse traits.
Anyway, now I'm with Brian,
so it all worked out.
I'm sure you'll find someone, too.
Whoa, my ears are
still ringing from that place.
I couldn't even hear myself think.
Wait, we've got a great plan B, though,
right? Pizza, beer, great company.
Yeah, how about we find something
to watch?
Good idea. Hey, Justin, you want to
help me pick out a movie?
Betty's got a lot of great musicals here.
Come on, Justin,
stop texting and join the party.
Hey, one sec. I have to take this.
But I think I'm just gonna go over
to Marc's, so I don't bother you guys.
- Hey!
- Hey!
I'm here, I'm all yours. No more work.
Well, I might have to do
a little bit of work tomorrow.
But who am I to complain?
Work is work, right?
What are you guys doing?
We decided that every time
you say "work," we drink.
Okay, I get it.
Tonight is about fun, not work.
- Drink!
- Drink!
Mmm.
Dare!
- A brave choice.
- All right, all right, all right.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, I want you to flash that guy.
- Yes!
- No!
Betty, just do it.
Go show him your Mayan temples.
- Go.
- No, I can't do that.
Yes, you can. Watch.
USA! USA! USA!
See?
- No.
Okay, I am the queen, I declare it.
I want you to flash that stranger!
- No!
- Yeah! Go, go, go.
Hey, come on, Betty!
Okay, fine, I'll do it.
Suarez!
Everyone said, "When you go
to London, don't miss Betty's boobs. "
I'm just glad there wasn't a line.
- This is...
- Hilarious! Hi, Gio!
What? I didn't get the shot, so...
Hi, Gio. Let's just get
Cheech and Chong back out.
- Yeah.
- Amanda!
No, no, no, girls, girls, stop it! Turn her
around and let everyone have a look!
Christina! Enough! Stop. Enough.
You got us in trouble.
I don't generally do these things often.
Or ever.
Right, but when in Rome...
Wait a minute. You didn't go to Rome
with me, did you?
You chose what's-his-name.
Egg Salad.
Henry. And to be fair,
I really didn't choose either one of you.
- What are you doing here?
- Layover.
On my way to Provence.
A food and wine trip. And you?
Mode sent me for work.
- Work!
- Work!
Listen, I'd love to catch up, but I want
to see the London Eye before it closes,
and I'm only here for one more night.
You want to check it out with me?
No. I can't.
It's Hilda's bachelorette party
and I can't just go, so...
Can you just give us two seconds?
Two... Don't go.
Okay. What are you doing?
Go with him.
- What? Why?
- Betty, you are on vacation.
You have been all about work
since you got here.
You've got a really nice guy here
who has always been crazy about you.
Go have an adventure!
- He does look sort of good, doesn't he?
- Yeah.
And you might have a plus one
for my wedding.
- Go. Have fun!
- Okay.
Good news. Queen Hilda
has granted me permission to go.
Wow. It's like a club in here.
Yeah, actually,
it used to have a stripper pole,
but I guess it was too hard
to wear a seat belt
and work the pole at the same time.
Look, I just want you to know I'm sorry
about the way I've been treating you.
It's just kind of freaky to suddenly
find out you have a half-brother.
- Tell me about it.
- And then my mom, your dad...
It's an image
I don't want stuck in my head.
- Wait, my dad?
- Yeah.
You know,
I never got along with Hartley,
but I shouldn't have
taken that out on you.
- So, you know my dad?
- Know him?
He was the biggest pain in my ass
for, like, six months
when he was trying to take over Meade.
Mom told you all that, I'm sure.
I think we're here. You know what?
Just hang on a sec, all right?
I'm gonna go grease the bouncer,
make sure we get VIP treatment.
Be right back.
Tyler? Everything all right?
I think Claire might have lied to me
about who my father is.
Really?
She's been so nice to me since
I got here. Why would she do that?
I don't know.
But a lie of that magnitude?
If you could never forgive her,
it would be completely understandable.
I'm out with Daniel right now
and this news...
All I can think about is taking a drink.
Slip-ups are inevitable, and it's okay.
I certainly know how tempting
a perfectly-mixed cocktail can be.
I can almost taste it right now.
It's like a warm hug
going down my throat.
What should I do, Wilhelmina?
Oh, remember, if you happen to slip up,
I am always here for you.
Because that's what a sponsor's for.
I really love it here.
At this one fashion show
they served a sandwich
that was bread, butter,
and French fries.
- That's disgusting.
- It was amazing.
Carbs, fat, and carbs. It was a miracle.
The miracle is you still eat like that
and look as good as you do.
Oh.
Thank you. You, too.
It's so nice to actually see London.
I've been stuck indoors
at fashion shows ever since I got here.
- Yawn.
- No, not yawn. I really enjoyed it.
- Double yawn.
- I'm serious.
I saw two lines
that were completely innovative,
and most of the rest of them
were surprisingly on-trend.
Ooh, look at you.
You are a Modie robot. You're a Mobot.
I am not a Mobot.
"I am Betty. I am a Mobot.
"I care about fashion. I am on-trend. "
Okay, I know what this is.
This is you doing
your little button-pushy, flirty thing
- just to get to me.
- No, no, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. You are flirting.
- I'm not flirting.
"I am Gio. I am flirting. "
I'm not flirting.
It is okay. I am flirting, too.
- Betty, I'm engaged.
- I am...
What?
Is it just me or is it weird that you didn't
mention you were engaged right away?
Why? You disappointed?
Hurts a little you can't have me,
doesn't it, Suarez?
No, it doesn't hurt.
I'm just saying
that if I were your fianc?e,
I would think it was weird that you
picked up your ex-girlfriend at a bar
and took her on a romantic stroll.
What? I did not pick you up.
You flashed me.
It was a dare and I was supposed to be
flashing a complete stranger.
- Why are you still working at Mode?
- What?
What does that have to do
with anything?
I thought you wanted to write
about things that mattered.
Like that crap you put in your blog.
What do you know about my blog?
What, you read my blog?
Don't get all excited.
But yeah, I've read it.
At least I did until you stopped posting.
I know, I'm busy. I'm an editor now.
And I'm interviewing to write a fashion
column for another magazine.
Wow. That's a job
you never dreamed of.
Fashion has been good to me, okay?
And since I've been doing it for a while,
people actually respect me,
as hard as that might be
for you to believe.
And okay,
you know what, the perks are nice.
- So, you've gotten comfortable.
- I'm not comfortable.
- Oh, you're comfortable.
- Stop, Gio, don't.
Don't do that thing that you always do.
- The "I'm Gio, I'm always right! I'm... "
- I'm just saying that...
- I'm just saying.
- "I know everything!"
What was supposed to be
a stepping stone for you
- has completely become your path.
- It's not my path.
It's... Everything that I'm doing
is just so that one day
I can create the magazine that I want.
You sure about that?
Because from where I'm standing,
it seems like you're scared to
focus on what you really care about.
And you're getting more
and more involved
in something
that doesn't even matter to you.
You know what, Gio?
I haven't even seen you in, like, years.
And you show up and you think that
in one hour you know my entire life?
Well, guess what? You don't.
I have to go back to my sister.
I think you'll like this place,
it's even better than the last one.
Thanks.
Hey, take it easy.
That's 50-year-old single malt.
What, so I don't deserve
the good stuff?
I realize you haven't had it easy,
and I want you to know
that there's no way
we're gonna send you home
empty-handed. Okay?
- What?
- This is for you.
- You got to be kidding me.
- No, no, I'm happy to do it, Tyler.
- You're actually trying to buy me off?
- No, I'm trying to help.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- All right, guys, come on.
- Let's take it up the street, all right?
- No, no, no, we're fine. Listen.
- Are you really that afraid of me?
- What?
You think I'm gonna make problems
for you? Huh, rich boy?
Tyler, take it easy.
You're missing... What are you...
- Hey! Hey!
- Wait, wait, no, no, no, no.
Tyler, listen...
Christina,
you know what's really weird?
You're, like, a big fancy designer
in London,
- and I'm a big shot stylist in New York.
- You're a stylist now?
Well, not in the sense
that I have any clients,
but I do get to combine
all of my favorite interests:
Criticizing people, shopping,
and promoting world thinness.
Believe it or not, she really is talented.
It's true, I am.
Christina, this might be the beer,
and the J?ger,
and the tequila talking,
but I'm really proud of you.
- No, you're a big success.
- Thank you.
But you know,
I was really terrified when I left Mode.
All of a sudden I didn't have
a safety net. But you know what it did?
It forced me to take a chance
on what I really wanted to do.
- Hey, you're back!
- Hey!
How was your time with Gio?
It was a lot of work.
- Work!
- Work!
Oh, dear. Here. Eat this.
I can't. I drank so much last night.
I don't remember anything
after getting back to the pub.
I know, neither do I.
I vaguely remember calling
Billy MacDuff about 2:00 in the morning
and telling him
that our first kiss tasted of sauerkraut.
Do you not remember?
Seeing Gio made us have this idea
to start calling up all our exes.
Doesn't ring a bell.
I have to meet Mr. Dunne now.
Are you sure you don't want to stay
just one extra day?
Sorry, I miss my boys.
Come on now, we're not gonna
get into a big thing here.
We're far too good friends
to say goodbye.
- Now, you go and kick ass.
- I will.
Hey, just the guy I was looking for.
I got a surprise for you. You ready?
Three words. Be. On. C?.
I scored two tickets for you and me
to see Miss Bootylicious herself
tomorrow night.
- What do you think?
- Wow, thanks, I just can't go with you.
What are you talking about?
These tickets are unbelievable.
I'm talking fifth row.
Yeah, it's just Austin
and I already got tickets.
And we're actually doing homework
right now, so I can't really talk.
Hey, what if I got one more ticket?
We could all go together.
Look, I changed my plans last night
for your bachelor party
and I don't want to change them again.
What's going on here?
I mean, I thought we were cool.
You know, you going through
some teenage rebellion thing
or you mad
that I'm marrying your mother?
It's not about you, all right? Lt...
I just... I can't go.
Honestly, I was surprised
that she chose denim
seeing as it's
an iconically American fabric,
but the way she cut it
was completely European.
Well, Ms. Suarez,
your materials are impressive,
Christina speaks highly of you,
and you're obviously passionate
about fashion.
- Yes, I do. I mean, yes, I am.
- Good.
This is the part of the job that I love,
making someone's dream come true.
You are going to have front row seats
to every show in New York
and access
to anyone you want to talk to.
A go-getter like you should move up
through the ranks in no time.
So, how does it feel to be adding
fashion columnist to your resume?
- Ms. Suarez?
- I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
- I'm sorry?
- Fashion is not my dream.
Well, it's an odd time
to be mentioning it.
Yes, I know.
But the last 24 hours have been crazy.
I flashed my ex in a bar,
and then he called me a Mobot,
and I thought he was wrong,
but now I think he's right.
- I'm following.
- No, you're not.
I'm sorry.
I really appreciate this opportunity.
But if you read my blog, you will see
what I really want to be writing about,
and it isn't fashion.
Thank you so much for your time.
Yeah, I just don't... I don't get it.
He used to like me.
Why am I so bad to hang around
all of a sudden?
There's no explaining
teenagers, brother.
Well, I even offered
to take his buddy, too.
You know, I don't know
why he doesn't want me there.
You're trying too hard, Bobby.
Justin will come back to you
when he's ready.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Hey, I'm gonna go talk to him.
Hey, you know,
I was thinking about the concert.
- You know, I mean, you guys can go.
- Just please don't tell anyone.
- No. Of course not.
- Not even my mom.
All right, yeah, I won't.
- But, yeah, I think she'd be cool with it.
- I just don't want her to know.
- All right, it's just between us.
- Okay.
Thanks for meeting me.
Lucky for you, I try to get to the airport
at the last possible minute.
I hate that. I like to be there
two hours ahead of time
to reorganize my carry-on.
There she is.
There's the Suarez I know.
Look, I'm sorry about last night.
I think that I got a little over-defensive.
- Because you made a good point.
- I know I did.
- I didn't have to say that.
- No.
- That was annoying, wasn't it?
- Yes.
Anyway, I did what you said.
I turned down that job.
I know it was the right thing to do,
but it's still scary.
I mean, what if my blog
doesn't take off? What then?
I mean, maybe I was on the wrong path,
but at least it was a path.
You know, when you broke up with me,
I thought it was me.
That I had to change myself.
And I went wild.
I tried wraps, open-face,
all kinds of crazy stuff.
But then I finally went back
to what was important to me.
That was making sandwiches.
Bread-meat-bread.
And then I met this girl,
a baker who makes
the most amazing rustic sourdough.
Our business took off,
we fell madly in love,
all because we pursued our passion.
Well, you seem happy.
I am.
But you were right, too.
I was flirting with you a little.
- Really?
- Now, I didn't mean anything by it.
I didn't.
It's just our thing.
Besides, I know there's only ever been
one guy for you.
Okay, Gio,
can we not go down that path again?
We were having a nice moment.
You'll always hold a special place
in my heart, B.
I can't believe you and Tyler
got arrested for fighting.
Are you sure you don't know
where he went?
Look, someone bailed him out
right before you got there.
I didn't see who it was.
- How did this happen?
- He just went crazy.
You should have warned me
he was such an ugly drunk.
You let him drink?
He's an alcoholic. He's in AA!
Well, how was I supposed
to know that?
Did he say anything?
What did you talk about?
I don't know. His mother.
- His hometown. Hartley and...
- What?
I told him about his father.
How Hartley tried
to take over the company,
- how we forced him out.
- Oh, God.
What is it?
I swore to Cal that I would
never tell Tyler who his father was.
So, I made up a story.
I told Tyler I met his father in rehab.
Now he knows I lied.
- Mom.
- What?
I'm sorry, okay?
It's gonna be all right.
I promise we'll find him.
- Feeling any better?
- Yeah.
Thanks for bailing me out last night.
Well, I told you I would forgive you
if you slipped up.
- I mean, it happens to the best of us.
- Yeah.
You were right.
They tried to buy me off.
They're terrified that I'm gonna try
to take what they've got.
I'm so sorry.
My heart is breaking for you.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna take from them
what is owed to me.
My share in Meade Publications.
And I will support you any way I can.
Marc, I'm back!
- What happened to you?
- Everything.
Troy broke up with me,
I ate two slices of pizza,
and now I can't stop thinking about him.
- Oh, my God. You ate pizza?
- I can't talk about it.
Good, because I have
some really big news of my own.
I think it's time for me to make
this stylist thing happen, for real.
I'm quitting Mode.
Oh! Good, you're here. I was just
dropping off my reviews of the shows.
Thank you so much for sending us
to London. We had the best time.
You can read all about it on my blog.
I just posted all the gory details.
Gory, huh?
Yeah, I sort of dropped the ball
on blogging for a while,
so I thought I would re-launch
with something juicy.
How did things turn out
with you and Tyler?
Kind of blew up in my face.
But at least I'm talking
to my mom again. Whoa!
You flashed Gio in a bar?
Yep! But, in my defense,
I had been drinking.
And at least now I know
that all of my ex-boyfriend craziness
is behind me.
Hey, it's Betty. Remember me?
Anyway, I'm in London,
and I'm thinking about you.
Sorry. That was a hiccup, not a burp.
Anyway, Hilda's getting married,
and I was just wondering if maybe
you'd want to come to the wedding.
As my date. Call me.
---
Previously on Ugly Betty...
Hey, Austin.
Just leaving another message.
Don't really know how you're feeling.
Here, the candy...
Tyler is not
who you think he is.
Who is he, then?
- He's your brother.
- So who's the father? Huh?
And now you tell me
there's some little bastard out there
who could just waltz in here
and demand his cut.
It's Meade.
I want the whole damn company.
No more Nice Willie.
Tyler? I'm Wilhelmina Slater.
- They're gone?
- Betty, you look great.
You may now kiss the bride.
What, are you stepping out on me
before our wedding?
I guess it's a little hard to tell us apart
now that I'm not wearing braces.
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay, enough monkey business.
Baby, according to
How to Plan a Wedding in 60 Days,
we were supposed to have a wedding
photographer, like, last week.
"Based on the popular blog. "
This woman turned her blog
into a book.
Meanwhile, I haven't even posted
in over a month
because I've been so busy at work.
Well, I hope you haven't been too busy
to plan my bachelorette party
this weekend.
Hey, I got my party planned.
Booze, boobs,
and a bus to Atlantic City.
- You're traveling?
- Yeah.
Why does he get to travel?
I want to travel!
Travel is the part
that you have a problem with?
Ay, please,
like he's gonna do better than this.
- That's right.
- Anyway, maid of honor,
what fun thing are we doing?
Well, get ready,
because I have scored us
a private,
after-hours champagne tour at the Met!
Get out of here!
- That's a good one! The Met!
- The Met?
That would have been
the worst bachelorette party ever!
Right? I know.
I was keeping the real party a surprise.
- Okay, good.
- You're gonna love it!
See you later.
Hey, Justin. You want a ride to school?
No, sorry, I'm walking with Austin.
Justin doesn't walk.
He's told me 1,000 times,
"Shoes are for fashion, not function. "
I know.
You know, we used to be friends.
I don't know what's up with him lately.
Maybe I did something wrong.
You're about to be his new stepfather.
That's got to be weird for a kid.
- You know what? This weekend...
- Yeah, that's true.
...you guys go
and do something fun together.
That's a good idea.
And that is my parents in a nutshell.
I don't mean to keep harping on this,
but you don't have any news
tracking down my father, do you?
Actually, I do.
I just learned that the rehab facility
where we met shut down,
and those records can't be retrieved,
so we'll never be able to find him.
I'm so sorry, Tyler.
It's okay.
So, I was conceived at a rehab facility.
I guess
I was destined to be an alcoholic.
I don't think we should joke about that.
Have you spoken to Daniel yet?
I tried, but he doesn't want
anything to do with me.
I hate that you're leaving so soon and
you two never got to know each other.
It's fine.
I came to meet you,
and that part worked out.
Oh! I could take Hilda horseback riding
for her bachelorette party.
Or better yet? Naked horseback riding.
You're welcome.
- Gross. And, ow!
- Well, I'm out of ideas then.
- Well, all of your ideas involve nudity.
- You're welcome.
Stop saying that.
An e-mail from the trapeze school.
A thousand dollars?
Come on, that was my favorite option.
This totally sucks.
- Are you talking to me?
- No, I was talking to...
- Never mind.
- So, what sucks?
I have to plan the perfect
bachelorette party for my sister
and nothing is working out.
It's just really disappointing.
Well, I know disappointment.
My half-brother hates me and I have
no hope of finding my biological father.
Okay. Perspective.
Well, if it helps,
I've known Daniel for years.
And if you just give him time,
he'll come around.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go
deal with something annoying.
- I see you.
- So...
What, are you on Team Tyler now?
No, Daniel, I'm not on team anyone.
Tyler is not a bad guy.
Put yourself in his shoes.
Shoes?
More like smelly old cowboy boots.
- Okay, you're five years old.
- No, you're five years old.
Someone needs a nap.
We'll talk about this later.
Fine. But I'm putting you down
for Team Daniel.
As requested,
here is some clothing from the mall.
Now, I'm not one to pry,
but you didn't exactly specify
what this is all for.
It's for an important meeting that I can't
be seen wearing cashmere and furs.
Mysterious. Still not prying, but would
this meeting have anything to do
with your plan
to overthrow the Meades?
Yes. It involves Claire's recently
revealed love child, Tyler.
Oh, he's such a rube. And he's so hot.
Must he be a part of all this?
He's just a pawn.
The weak link in the Meade chain.
I gain his trust,
everything else falls into place.
Willie's being all weird again.
And you're being...
British. I'm trying to look authentic
for my trip to London with Daniel,
but it feels like I'm missing something.
- A riding crop? A horse? Dignity?
- Wow. Somebody's jealous.
Yeah, I'm jealous.
You get to go all the way to London,
and I have to stay here and figure out
who I'm gonna take as my plus one
- to Hilda's stupid straight wedding.
- Why don't you bring your boyfriend?
Oh, my God, I totally forgot,
I have that boyfriend, Trey.
- Troy.
- I like Trey better. Or Trevor.
We'll talk about it,
I'm sure he'll want to weigh in.
You're going to the London
Fashion Week, Daniel? Really?
There are some big designers there.
You call it the training bra
of fashion weeks.
And you're only ever interested
in the big, sexy ones.
So, why are you going?
Is this one of those times
where you ask me a question
that you already know the answer to?
The answer is,
you don't need to be there.
You're just going to avoid
this whole thing with Tyler. Am I right?
You know what?
I hate it when you know me.
So, send someone in your place
and stay here.
Reach out to your long-lost half-brother
who traveled across the country
to meet you,
- who you've been nothing but a jerk to.
- Okay, fine.
Fine. But who's gonna go to London?
- You?
- No, I can't go.
I have to stay
and plan Hilda's bachelorette party.
I still have no idea what I'm gonna do.
She wants something big
and exciting and fun, but with travel.
- Wait a second.
- I can't believe it!
A bachelorette trip to London!
Oh, my gosh!
I thought your party
was gonna be so lame-ass!
- Hey!
- But it turns out it's gonna be bad-ass!
- Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- Yeah!
- Suck on that, Talercio!
- Suck on it!
- Suarez sisters are going to London!
- London!
Oh, my God, we're in London!
Ms. Suarez, welcome.
Oh, you know my name.
Of course.
We're very honored to have you here.
Oh, my God,
you are totally famous here!
Please wait, I'd like to tip you.
I'm sure I have a few extra pounds
in here somewhere.
Somewhere? What about here,
and here, and here?
- And right about here.
- Hey!
You are working for her this week.
Can you be nice?
Betty!
- She looks so elegant!
- I know.
Eyes up, you dozy choob!
Hey! Watch where you're going.
- Yeah, yeah, stick it up your fish pipe!
There's the drunk I remember.
Look at you! No braces!
Look at you!
How's Stuart and the baby?
They're good. But they're at home,
so how soon can we get a drink
in this mama's hand
and get this hen night started?
Well, there's an opening night
cocktail party in, like, 30 minutes.
Right-o! Cheerio!
Oh, my God, I sound like a local, right?
- Right.
- Yeah, right?
- Let's go.
- You're getting married!
These past few months
have been the most challenging.
Away from home, and my family,
and my routine.
I've actually been slipping up a lot.
And I've got to say that things can
get pretty dark when I drink.
But I'm thankful that I can come here
for your support.
I see a new face in the back.
Will you please stand
and introduce yourself?
My name is Wilhelmina S.
And I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Wilhelmina.
You know
I love hanging out at your house,
playing video games, watching movies.
But do you think we should go
somewhere else some time?
What, like your house?
Like on a date. Is that weird?
No. No, not at all. I love it.
You know, our first real date.
- How about tomorrow night?
- What are we gonna do?
- I'll surprise you.
Hey! What's up, J?
Hey. Hi, Bobby.
You know that
my mom is in London, right?
Yeah. Exactly. That's why I'm here.
Listen, I'm thinking we have
a special bachelor party for me.
- Suarez men only. Tomorrow night.
- All right.
Sounds like fun,
but Austin and I have plans.
But don't let me stop you and Grandpa
from, you know, tearing up the clubs.
Can you change your plans?
This is important.
- I don't really think...
- It's cool. We can do it another time.
- Hey, thanks, Austin.
- All right!
Tomorrow night,
the Three Amigos vs. The big city.
- I'm so sorry.
- Big city, look out.
Hidey ho, bitches!
Hey, where'd that bag come from?
I rifled through your stuff earlier
and it was not in there.
The designer
had it messengered to me.
I could get used to that.
As the designated bachelorette,
I call dibs on the next freebie.
So sorry to interrupt. I just had to
tell you I loved your last show.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
Cheers.
Okay, that was, like, the third person
who's come up to you.
- Do they think you're Judi Dench?
- I'm afraid not.
You see, I had a little show here
about a month ago
- and, well, some people kind of liked it.
- Come on.
Wow. Christina,
your dreams came true.
- That's not what I saw for you.
- I really need a break from her.
- We're gonna go get a drink at the bar.
- Yep!
Here we go, my dear.
Oh, my God, Christina,
that's Lindsay Dunne!
He's, like, the most powerful publisher
in all of Britain.
- And he's coming this way.
- Christina.
Mr. Dunne, good to see you.
This is my good friend, Betty Suarez.
She actually works at Mode magazine
as a features editor.
- Ms. Suarez, a pleasure.
- No, me.
I mean, I am the pleasured one.
Betty is a rising star, actually, and
she's clearly very excited to meet you.
Well, I'm flattered. I'm always
on the lookout for a rising star.
Okay.
Would you be interested
in an opportunity to do more?
More? What do you mean?
Well, one of
my fashion magazines, Ultramod,
has lost its New York-based columnist.
Being that you're familiar
with the scene over there,
would you have any interest
in interviewing?
Oh.
- You could still keep your job at Mode.
- Wow.
That would be amazing. Yes.
All right, then.
Call my office and set up a meeting.
I have my work, which I love,
but it cannot fill the void
of my estranged family.
Thank you for sharing.
Okay, everyone, see you next week.
Ms. Slater. I had no idea.
- Tyler, please call me Wilhelmina.
- Yeah.
Well, I guess my little secret is out.
I'd appreciate it if you would not
say a word to Claire or Daniel.
Of course. And I know
how tough it is when you need to talk,
and you can't turn to
the people around you.
Well, thank God we have our sponsors.
You do have a sponsor, don't you?
Actually, since I've been here,
I haven't been able
to connect with anybody.
Well, don't say another word.
Consider Willie your sponsor.
Would you like another scone?
No. I can barely eat. I'm so excited
to go to these fashion shows.
Hilda, a couple years ago I was lucky
to be standing behind a tent pole.
And now, I mean, I don't want to get
my hopes up, but I might get a chair.
Ooh! A chair! That means a gift bag.
And as your designated bachelorette...
- Your name is already on it.
- Yay!
Okay, we really have to leave.
A waiter has just come up to Amanda
and asked her
if she wanted bangers and mash.
- She followed him into the loo.
- Turns out it's just food.
Okay, bachelorettes,
since I can't be with you,
I have planned out the perfect day.
Itineraries.
Maximizes historical sites, minimizes...
Fun?
I was going to say "travel time. "
They're just suggestions.
And I promise I will catch up with you
as soon as I can.
All right, but, Betty,
you'd better not be late for my party
or I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey, you know that
here that means "drunk. "
That works, too.
Take lots of pictures!
So, how are things going
with the Meades?
I was so touched by what you shared
about getting to know your family.
Well, I'm actually going out tonight
with Daniel.
- He wants us to get along.
- That's very noble of him.
What is it?
Well, I've just known the Meades
for a long time,
and they're not the most forthcoming.
Well, Claire's been totally straight
with me.
I mean, just this morning
she was telling me about my father.
How they met in rehab,
and how she's done everything
she could to track him down for me.
Tyler, can I be frank?
They're terrified of you.
- What?
- Well, it's true.
As far as they're concerned, you're
just another claim to their empire.
Well, I just want to get to know
my family.
Well, I know that,
but I'm not as cynical as the Meades.
I wouldn't be surprised if they tried
to pay you off just to get rid of you.
Come on.
They wouldn't do that, would they?
I've held my tongue long enough.
I do own half this company, too,
so it's time we talk
about Claire's bastard child.
What are you talking about?
You think this hayseed
crawled out of his corn crib
and came all the way to Manhattan
just for a family reunion?
Look, I'm no fan of the guy,
but I don't think Tyler's after our money.
Daniel, are you that naive?
Take my advice.
Take him out on the town
with his new big brother.
Get him through a couple of velvet
ropes and make him feel like a big shot.
Then write him a big, fat check
and stick him
on the first train back to Hicksville.
Well, you're probably right.
Even the Meades
would never sink that low.
Sugar?
Trey. There you are. Hi, Trey.
It's Troy. And you know I don't like it
when you pick new names for me.
Actually, I didn't know that.
You're so complicated, Trevor.
I'm sorry, I've been so busy lately.
I got this promotion, but you are in luck
because I've got a wedding
this Saturday and you're my date.
Actually, I'm seeing someone else now.
- What? No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
Do you really care? You haven't
called me in, like, two months.
- I said I was busy.
- Look, I get it.
I know I came across a little stalkery
and you got freaked out.
But you were my first boyfriend.
I was excited.
- You used to sleep on my stoop.
- Okay, that was one time
and that was because you kept saying,
"One minute, I'll be right down. "
Then you never... You didn't show.
So, I'm patient. There are worse traits.
Anyway, now I'm with Brian,
so it all worked out.
I'm sure you'll find someone, too.
Whoa, my ears are
still ringing from that place.
I couldn't even hear myself think.
Wait, we've got a great plan B, though,
right? Pizza, beer, great company.
Yeah, how about we find something
to watch?
Good idea. Hey, Justin, you want to
help me pick out a movie?
Betty's got a lot of great musicals here.
Come on, Justin,
stop texting and join the party.
Hey, one sec. I have to take this.
But I think I'm just gonna go over
to Marc's, so I don't bother you guys.
- Hey!
- Hey!
I'm here, I'm all yours. No more work.
Well, I might have to do
a little bit of work tomorrow.
But who am I to complain?
Work is work, right?
What are you guys doing?
We decided that every time
you say "work," we drink.
Okay, I get it.
Tonight is about fun, not work.
- Drink!
- Drink!
Mmm.
Dare!
- A brave choice.
- All right, all right, all right.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, I want you to flash that guy.
- Yes!
- No!
Betty, just do it.
Go show him your Mayan temples.
- Go.
- No, I can't do that.
Yes, you can. Watch.
USA! USA! USA!
See?
- No.
Okay, I am the queen, I declare it.
I want you to flash that stranger!
- No!
- Yeah! Go, go, go.
Hey, come on, Betty!
Okay, fine, I'll do it.
Suarez!
Everyone said, "When you go
to London, don't miss Betty's boobs. "
I'm just glad there wasn't a line.
- This is...
- Hilarious! Hi, Gio!
What? I didn't get the shot, so...
Hi, Gio. Let's just get
Cheech and Chong back out.
- Yeah.
- Amanda!
No, no, no, girls, girls, stop it! Turn her
around and let everyone have a look!
Christina! Enough! Stop. Enough.
You got us in trouble.
I don't generally do these things often.
Or ever.
Right, but when in Rome...
Wait a minute. You didn't go to Rome
with me, did you?
You chose what's-his-name.
Egg Salad.
Henry. And to be fair,
I really didn't choose either one of you.
- What are you doing here?
- Layover.
On my way to Provence.
A food and wine trip. And you?
Mode sent me for work.
- Work!
- Work!
Listen, I'd love to catch up, but I want
to see the London Eye before it closes,
and I'm only here for one more night.
You want to check it out with me?
No. I can't.
It's Hilda's bachelorette party
and I can't just go, so...
Can you just give us two seconds?
Two... Don't go.
Okay. What are you doing?
Go with him.
- What? Why?
- Betty, you are on vacation.
You have been all about work
since you got here.
You've got a really nice guy here
who has always been crazy about you.
Go have an adventure!
- He does look sort of good, doesn't he?
- Yeah.
And you might have a plus one
for my wedding.
- Go. Have fun!
- Okay.
Good news. Queen Hilda
has granted me permission to go.
Wow. It's like a club in here.
Yeah, actually,
it used to have a stripper pole,
but I guess it was too hard
to wear a seat belt
and work the pole at the same time.
Look, I just want you to know I'm sorry
about the way I've been treating you.
It's just kind of freaky to suddenly
find out you have a half-brother.
- Tell me about it.
- And then my mom, your dad...
It's an image
I don't want stuck in my head.
- Wait, my dad?
- Yeah.
You know,
I never got along with Hartley,
but I shouldn't have
taken that out on you.
- So, you know my dad?
- Know him?
He was the biggest pain in my ass
for, like, six months
when he was trying to take over Meade.
Mom told you all that, I'm sure.
I think we're here. You know what?
Just hang on a sec, all right?
I'm gonna go grease the bouncer,
make sure we get VIP treatment.
Be right back.
Tyler? Everything all right?
I think Claire might have lied to me
about who my father is.
Really?
She's been so nice to me since
I got here. Why would she do that?
I don't know.
But a lie of that magnitude?
If you could never forgive her,
it would be completely understandable.
I'm out with Daniel right now
and this news...
All I can think about is taking a drink.
Slip-ups are inevitable, and it's okay.
I certainly know how tempting
a perfectly-mixed cocktail can be.
I can almost taste it right now.
It's like a warm hug
going down my throat.
What should I do, Wilhelmina?
Oh, remember, if you happen to slip up,
I am always here for you.
Because that's what a sponsor's for.
I really love it here.
At this one fashion show
they served a sandwich
that was bread, butter,
and French fries.
- That's disgusting.
- It was amazing.
Carbs, fat, and carbs. It was a miracle.
The miracle is you still eat like that
and look as good as you do.
Oh.
Thank you. You, too.
It's so nice to actually see London.
I've been stuck indoors
at fashion shows ever since I got here.
- Yawn.
- No, not yawn. I really enjoyed it.
- Double yawn.
- I'm serious.
I saw two lines
that were completely innovative,
and most of the rest of them
were surprisingly on-trend.
Ooh, look at you.
You are a Modie robot. You're a Mobot.
I am not a Mobot.
"I am Betty. I am a Mobot.
"I care about fashion. I am on-trend. "
Okay, I know what this is.
This is you doing
your little button-pushy, flirty thing
- just to get to me.
- No, no, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. You are flirting.
- I'm not flirting.
"I am Gio. I am flirting. "
I'm not flirting.
It is okay. I am flirting, too.
- Betty, I'm engaged.
- I am...
What?
Is it just me or is it weird that you didn't
mention you were engaged right away?
Why? You disappointed?
Hurts a little you can't have me,
doesn't it, Suarez?
No, it doesn't hurt.
I'm just saying
that if I were your fianc?e,
I would think it was weird that you
picked up your ex-girlfriend at a bar
and took her on a romantic stroll.
What? I did not pick you up.
You flashed me.
It was a dare and I was supposed to be
flashing a complete stranger.
- Why are you still working at Mode?
- What?
What does that have to do
with anything?
I thought you wanted to write
about things that mattered.
Like that crap you put in your blog.
What do you know about my blog?
What, you read my blog?
Don't get all excited.
But yeah, I've read it.
At least I did until you stopped posting.
I know, I'm busy. I'm an editor now.
And I'm interviewing to write a fashion
column for another magazine.
Wow. That's a job
you never dreamed of.
Fashion has been good to me, okay?
And since I've been doing it for a while,
people actually respect me,
as hard as that might be
for you to believe.
And okay,
you know what, the perks are nice.
- So, you've gotten comfortable.
- I'm not comfortable.
- Oh, you're comfortable.
- Stop, Gio, don't.
Don't do that thing that you always do.
- The "I'm Gio, I'm always right! I'm... "
- I'm just saying that...
- I'm just saying.
- "I know everything!"
What was supposed to be
a stepping stone for you
- has completely become your path.
- It's not my path.
It's... Everything that I'm doing
is just so that one day
I can create the magazine that I want.
You sure about that?
Because from where I'm standing,
it seems like you're scared to
focus on what you really care about.
And you're getting more
and more involved
in something
that doesn't even matter to you.
You know what, Gio?
I haven't even seen you in, like, years.
And you show up and you think that
in one hour you know my entire life?
Well, guess what? You don't.
I have to go back to my sister.
I think you'll like this place,
it's even better than the last one.
Thanks.
Hey, take it easy.
That's 50-year-old single malt.
What, so I don't deserve
the good stuff?
I realize you haven't had it easy,
and I want you to know
that there's no way
we're gonna send you home
empty-handed. Okay?
- What?
- This is for you.
- You got to be kidding me.
- No, no, I'm happy to do it, Tyler.
- You're actually trying to buy me off?
- No, I'm trying to help.
- Hey, what are you doing?
- All right, guys, come on.
- Let's take it up the street, all right?
- No, no, no, we're fine. Listen.
- Are you really that afraid of me?
- What?
You think I'm gonna make problems
for you? Huh, rich boy?
Tyler, take it easy.
You're missing... What are you...
- Hey! Hey!
- Wait, wait, no, no, no, no.
Tyler, listen...
Christina,
you know what's really weird?
You're, like, a big fancy designer
in London,
- and I'm a big shot stylist in New York.
- You're a stylist now?
Well, not in the sense
that I have any clients,
but I do get to combine
all of my favorite interests:
Criticizing people, shopping,
and promoting world thinness.
Believe it or not, she really is talented.
It's true, I am.
Christina, this might be the beer,
and the J?ger,
and the tequila talking,
but I'm really proud of you.
- No, you're a big success.
- Thank you.
But you know,
I was really terrified when I left Mode.
All of a sudden I didn't have
a safety net. But you know what it did?
It forced me to take a chance
on what I really wanted to do.
- Hey, you're back!
- Hey!
How was your time with Gio?
It was a lot of work.
- Work!
- Work!
Oh, dear. Here. Eat this.
I can't. I drank so much last night.
I don't remember anything
after getting back to the pub.
I know, neither do I.
I vaguely remember calling
Billy MacDuff about 2:00 in the morning
and telling him
that our first kiss tasted of sauerkraut.
Do you not remember?
Seeing Gio made us have this idea
to start calling up all our exes.
Doesn't ring a bell.
I have to meet Mr. Dunne now.
Are you sure you don't want to stay
just one extra day?
Sorry, I miss my boys.
Come on now, we're not gonna
get into a big thing here.
We're far too good friends
to say goodbye.
- Now, you go and kick ass.
- I will.
Hey, just the guy I was looking for.
I got a surprise for you. You ready?
Three words. Be. On. C?.
I scored two tickets for you and me
to see Miss Bootylicious herself
tomorrow night.
- What do you think?
- Wow, thanks, I just can't go with you.
What are you talking about?
These tickets are unbelievable.
I'm talking fifth row.
Yeah, it's just Austin
and I already got tickets.
And we're actually doing homework
right now, so I can't really talk.
Hey, what if I got one more ticket?
We could all go together.
Look, I changed my plans last night
for your bachelor party
and I don't want to change them again.
What's going on here?
I mean, I thought we were cool.
You know, you going through
some teenage rebellion thing
or you mad
that I'm marrying your mother?
It's not about you, all right? Lt...
I just... I can't go.
Honestly, I was surprised
that she chose denim
seeing as it's
an iconically American fabric,
but the way she cut it
was completely European.
Well, Ms. Suarez,
your materials are impressive,
Christina speaks highly of you,
and you're obviously passionate
about fashion.
- Yes, I do. I mean, yes, I am.
- Good.
This is the part of the job that I love,
making someone's dream come true.
You are going to have front row seats
to every show in New York
and access
to anyone you want to talk to.
A go-getter like you should move up
through the ranks in no time.
So, how does it feel to be adding
fashion columnist to your resume?
- Ms. Suarez?
- I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
- I'm sorry?
- Fashion is not my dream.
Well, it's an odd time
to be mentioning it.
Yes, I know.
But the last 24 hours have been crazy.
I flashed my ex in a bar,
and then he called me a Mobot,
and I thought he was wrong,
but now I think he's right.
- I'm following.
- No, you're not.
I'm sorry.
I really appreciate this opportunity.
But if you read my blog, you will see
what I really want to be writing about,
and it isn't fashion.
Thank you so much for your time.
Yeah, I just don't... I don't get it.
He used to like me.
Why am I so bad to hang around
all of a sudden?
There's no explaining
teenagers, brother.
Well, I even offered
to take his buddy, too.
You know, I don't know
why he doesn't want me there.
You're trying too hard, Bobby.
Justin will come back to you
when he's ready.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Hey, I'm gonna go talk to him.
Hey, you know,
I was thinking about the concert.
- You know, I mean, you guys can go.
- Just please don't tell anyone.
- No. Of course not.
- Not even my mom.
All right, yeah, I won't.
- But, yeah, I think she'd be cool with it.
- I just don't want her to know.
- All right, it's just between us.
- Okay.
Thanks for meeting me.
Lucky for you, I try to get to the airport
at the last possible minute.
I hate that. I like to be there
two hours ahead of time
to reorganize my carry-on.
There she is.
There's the Suarez I know.
Look, I'm sorry about last night.
I think that I got a little over-defensive.
- Because you made a good point.
- I know I did.
- I didn't have to say that.
- No.
- That was annoying, wasn't it?
- Yes.
Anyway, I did what you said.
I turned down that job.
I know it was the right thing to do,
but it's still scary.
I mean, what if my blog
doesn't take off? What then?
I mean, maybe I was on the wrong path,
but at least it was a path.
You know, when you broke up with me,
I thought it was me.
That I had to change myself.
And I went wild.
I tried wraps, open-face,
all kinds of crazy stuff.
But then I finally went back
to what was important to me.
That was making sandwiches.
Bread-meat-bread.
And then I met this girl,
a baker who makes
the most amazing rustic sourdough.
Our business took off,
we fell madly in love,
all because we pursued our passion.
Well, you seem happy.
I am.
But you were right, too.
I was flirting with you a little.
- Really?
- Now, I didn't mean anything by it.
I didn't.
It's just our thing.
Besides, I know there's only ever been
one guy for you.
Okay, Gio,
can we not go down that path again?
We were having a nice moment.
You'll always hold a special place
in my heart, B.
I can't believe you and Tyler
got arrested for fighting.
Are you sure you don't know
where he went?
Look, someone bailed him out
right before you got there.
I didn't see who it was.
- How did this happen?
- He just went crazy.
You should have warned me
he was such an ugly drunk.
You let him drink?
He's an alcoholic. He's in AA!
Well, how was I supposed
to know that?
Did he say anything?
What did you talk about?
I don't know. His mother.
- His hometown. Hartley and...
- What?
I told him about his father.
How Hartley tried
to take over the company,
- how we forced him out.
- Oh, God.
What is it?
I swore to Cal that I would
never tell Tyler who his father was.
So, I made up a story.
I told Tyler I met his father in rehab.
Now he knows I lied.
- Mom.
- What?
I'm sorry, okay?
It's gonna be all right.
I promise we'll find him.
- Feeling any better?
- Yeah.
Thanks for bailing me out last night.
Well, I told you I would forgive you
if you slipped up.
- I mean, it happens to the best of us.
- Yeah.
You were right.
They tried to buy me off.
They're terrified that I'm gonna try
to take what they've got.
I'm so sorry.
My heart is breaking for you.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna take from them
what is owed to me.
My share in Meade Publications.
And I will support you any way I can.
Marc, I'm back!
- What happened to you?
- Everything.
Troy broke up with me,
I ate two slices of pizza,
and now I can't stop thinking about him.
- Oh, my God. You ate pizza?
- I can't talk about it.
Good, because I have
some really big news of my own.
I think it's time for me to make
this stylist thing happen, for real.
I'm quitting Mode.
Oh! Good, you're here. I was just
dropping off my reviews of the shows.
Thank you so much for sending us
to London. We had the best time.
You can read all about it on my blog.
I just posted all the gory details.
Gory, huh?
Yeah, I sort of dropped the ball
on blogging for a while,
so I thought I would re-launch
with something juicy.
How did things turn out
with you and Tyler?
Kind of blew up in my face.
But at least I'm talking
to my mom again. Whoa!
You flashed Gio in a bar?
Yep! But, in my defense,
I had been drinking.
And at least now I know
that all of my ex-boyfriend craziness
is behind me.
Hey, it's Betty. Remember me?
Anyway, I'm in London,
and I'm thinking about you.
Sorry. That was a hiccup, not a burp.
Anyway, Hilda's getting married,
and I was just wondering if maybe
you'd want to come to the wedding.
As my date. Call me.