Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 4, Episode 11 - Back in Her Place - full transcript

A battered but unbowed Betty recounts her worst week ever to Mr. Z as the show flashes back to her horrible last few days. Frustrated over the frivolous assignments Wilhemina gives her at Mode, and inspired by Audrey Hepburn's memoir, Betty creates her own blog about amazing charitable ventures that inspire her. However, as her hobby enriches her, her job is nearly killing her, since Wilhemina tortures Betty with beauty experiments for future stories. Meanwhile, Daniel fears Marc is sabotaging him -- and he is; Bobby treats a hormonal Hilda to some pampering during "Hilda Week," which goes awry, and Wilhelmina makes a long-term commitment to the incarcerated Connor.

It's Betty. Can we talk?


I'm doing crunches.
You got the money or not?

Yes. Well, no. Some. But...

Look, I think if you let me explain,

you'd be a lot more open
to working this out.

I've had an awful, awful week, and...
Please, just hear me out.

Fine. Move your face.

I finished Audrey Hepburn's
biography last night

and it totally inspired me.

Ugh. Audrey Hepburn, she's so boring.

I hated Breakfast at Tiffany's.

But if you tell
one gay person I said that,

- I will deny it. I will.
- I promise.

Anyway, Audrey basically gave up her
stardom to go and do good in the world,

and it made me think.
I'm an editor now.


And I'm finally in a position
to tell stories like that.

Stories about people who do
inspiring and selfless things.

Well, here's your next assignment
from the powers that be.


"The most comfortable stiletto. "

Betty Suarez, keeping the dream alive
for hookers with hammer toe.

I don't think I'll ever get tired
of those lips.

Willie, don't you think
we're kidding ourselves here?

- Meaning?
- Meaning you can't go on like this.

Giving up an actual life
in the world to visit me

here in this godforsaken place.
I'm gonna be in here for years.

That's no life for you.


I've done much worse for much longer
and gotten much less out of it.

I'm serious.
You deserve more than this.

Connor, I'm happy. Now, stop it.

Thirty minutes. That's it.

I can't believe how many ads we lost
while Hartley was in charge.

Can we just talk a little more
about how much I hated him?

Maybe later.

So, when are we shaving the beard,
do you think?

- We are not. I like it.
- Hmm.

- We'll revisit.
- Yeah.

Daniel, I need Marc and
you're just gonna have to deal with it.

Well, since you asked so sweetly,
how could I possibly say... No.

I'm sorry, I'm working like
an eight-year-old seamstress here,

trying to turn this magazine around.

I don't have time to replace him now.

Hmm. Says the woman who strolls in
at... Oh, look at that, 11:00.

I was visiting my sick aunt in Jersey.

You feel good about that crack now?

Point being, you stole Marc from me.

The least you could do
is share him with me.

Just for a while.

And how does Marc feel about that?

It's funny how you pretend
like I have any say in it at all.

Fine. But just for a while.

Will there be extra compensation
for this extra work?

I no longer feel betrayed by you.
That's compensation enough.

Get up.

what have you been up to?

Well, I've been...
You know, work is kind of slow.

- Sorry I'm late.
Do more charity work.

Charity work?
What charity work?

I've been building houses
for Happy Homes.

Yeah, a group of us go in
and we build them

with the people who are actually
gonna be living in them.

It's a great experience.
Reminds me to be grateful.

You're so good. I hate you.

Me, too.

Sorry. I was eavesdropping.

I don't hate you, I love you.

Actually, I don't know you,

but I'm just grateful
that you do what you do.

There you go.

See, that's what I want to be
writing about.

Stuff like that, people like that
who do things like that.

I'm sure I'll find a way to turn
"The Most Comfortable Stiletto"

into something a little more me,

but I have no idea
what that's gonna be.

But, anyway, enough.
How was your morning?

Well, first yoga and a movie,

then I'm gonna pick a paint color
for my walls.

Swiss mocha or eggnog.

See? You leaving Mode
was really good for us,

because, before,
I would have already known that,

but now I'm like, "Ooh, what color
is he gonna choose?"


And then it hit me.

Why don't I write a story called
"Walk a Mile in Her Shoes?"

I can feature a specific shoe,

and then attach a personal story
of an inspiring woman

who wears that shoe in her daily life.

Like a woman who builds houses
for the poor in her work boot,

or a charitable executive
and her designer heels.

I mean, comfortable stiletto.

Who's really gonna believe that
anyway, right?

What was wrong with the assignment
you were given, Betty?

Back up.

I just thought that it was a little light

and I could put it in my own voice.

You're not paid for your voice.

You're paid to imitate mine.
I chose that story for you.

Sorry. I just thought that...

You do make a good point.
The story does need something.

A new writer. You can go.

That's right, Betty, you get nothing.
Everyone, watch Betty leave.

That's it? Your boss was mean to you?

That's your awful week?

Let me finish.

Hilda, I'm freaking out.
I made Wilhelmina really, really mad.

What happened?
Hey, chew over the bowl, huh?

She took away my piece. What do I do?

Do I go back and apologize
and beg for it back?

Tell her I'm coming over
and I'm pregnant

and bloated and she better do
whatever you tell her to do.

Seeing as that whole image
terrifies me,

I think I'm just gonna ask for it back.

All right, well, that's your call.

Hey, what did I just say?

Okay, I'm going now,
and be nice to Bobby.

Okay, bye.

My father is mad enough
that you got me pregnant,

you can't afford to wreck his house.

All right, it was an accident.

We can't afford any more accidents
around here.

Look, it's a little spaghetti
on an old rug.

- I'll clean it up myself. All right?
- Oh, no, no, I will clean it up,

because that is who I am around here.

I am the cleaner-upper person.

I cleaned up after Justin this morning,

I will clean up after you now

and I will be cleaning up after this baby
for the next 50 years.

- Now you're mad at the baby.
- No, I just...

I'm sorry.

I just wanted to take a shower
and I haven't had time,

and now I'm pregnant
and I will never have time

to take a shower ever again.

Sweetie, come on, stop.
What's stopping you from...

You spilled on the rug.

Excuse me, Wilhelmina?

You have 30 seconds. Go.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Really, really sorry about
what happened in the pitch meeting.

I didn't mean to offend you at all.

- Ten.
- Wow. That was 20 seconds?

Really? Is that how you want
to use the rest of your time?

No, right. Again, I'm sorry.

I'm grateful to have the job at all,
I meant no disrespect,

I know my place here and I will write
a great piece in your voice, I promise.

Save the world on your own time, Betty.

You write whatever fluff piece I give you

and then maybe
I'll give you something better.

- Understand?
- Yes. A hundred percent.

I did like the title of your piece.

"Walk a Mile in Her Shoes. "

So, let's do that.
Let's have you walk a mile

in these.

And write about
how comfortable they are.

Oh, and, Betty,
I know what those soles look like

with a half-mile on them,

and I know what they look like
with a whole mile on them.

Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

- Betty. What the...
- Daniel.

- Are you all right?
- No, I'm gonna die.

Wilhelmina's making me write
a first-person piece

on how comfortable these heels are.

What? Do you want me to talk to her?

No. I'm trying to pay my dues

so she'll give me
something better to write.

Will you walk with me please?

Okay, but we have to walk fast.

Marc forgot to book my car again.

I'm literally running
to an appointment at Coach.

He's really been messing up a lot lately.

Marc? Really?
Marc's an amazing assistant.

And no offense, Daniel,
but you're not the best communicator.

What? That's... Betty, but...
No... What?

See? I mean, I understood that,
but I've worked with you for a long time.

All right, I guess, maybe.
All right, I've got to go left here.

Okay, just peel off gently.

Oh, no, no.


I can never tell with you, Betty.

Is this an accessory you're working,
or did you actually hurt yourself?

I actually fell. Into traffic.

Wow. A mile and a quarter.

I was ten blocks away
from St. Vincent's,

so I just kept going.

And fortunately it was a long wait,
so I could write my piece.

I emailed you 200 words
from the hospital.

Fine. You may have another piece.

Supposed to make
your skin feel as soft

as a baby's ass in two days.

See you Thursday.

- Excuse me.
- Sure.

Was that really moisturizer?

By Ukrainian standards, yes.

Connor put me
in the worst mood this morning.

He's pushing me away.
He thinks he's doing it for me.

He suggests that I go out
and live my life.


What are you doing with your face?

You really are in love with him.

Of course,

but that's no reason
to feel things for me.

You have to find a way to tell him
that you're not going away.

Exactly. But how can I prove to him

that I'm as committed
to this relationship

as he is to that prison sentence?

I think I've got it.

Oh, my God. You're not gonna
break him out of jail, are you?


Just the opposite.

Darling, as happy as I am to see you,

shouldn't you be out
on the town right now,

trading barbs
with some irritating socialite?

Oh, you're irritating enough,
especially when you talk like that.

Now listen to me.

I know you're worried about me,
which is touching,

but I've had enough.

- What the...
- Just open it.

We're getting married.

Willie, this is crazy.

I mean, I love you for trying this,
but I'm still locked up in here.

And marriage is my way of showing you

I'm willing to be as locked up
as you are.

Connor, I love you,

and I'm not gonna lose you
just because you're in prison.

- So we're doing this.
- Willie, please.

You can say yes now
or you can say yes later,

but I will come back every day
until I get the answer I want.

So I'll ask again.

Will you marry me?

Yes. You pushy, remarkable woman.

I will marry you.

You know, I probably shouldn't say this,

but I met the perfect person
for that story you wanted to do.

- The one about the shoes?
- Don't tell her that.

Yes, tell me.

Okay, well, you know how my family
gives money to that organization

- that does relief work in Botswana?
- Aw!

Anyway, I met one of the women
that actually does the work.

Very cool, very smart,
and a grandmother.

She's in town for one more week

before she goes back
to Africa for another tour,

and she had on these funky sandals

that would have been perfect
for the shoe angle.

- What did I just say?

She wanted me to tell her.

She doesn't know what she needs.

Now I just want to write it even more.

What is wrong with Wilhelmina?

Why can't she see how good
of a piece it could be?

You know what you should do?

Start your own blog. Yeah, like that...

What's her name? Huffington.
Only not so newsy.

Actually, a blog is a great idea.

Then you could write
whatever you want

and just publish it yourself.

Well, yeah,
but I don't know how to start a blog.

- I could help you.
- Come on.

This could be the first step
in creating your own magazine.

Or a book deal. Or a movie.

Okay, I wasn't so sure
when you said "blog,"

but now we're talking movies, so I'm in.

Guys, come on.
Would anyone even read it?

There are so many blogs out there.

- Betty.

I don't know.

- Really?
- Yeah-huh.

Well, I mean, after hand creams
and high heels,

I'd be happy to inspire just one person.

I'm sure I could get in touch with
that woman from the relief mission.

- Set up an interview.
- Should I do this?

- Because I think I want to do it.
- Do it.

- Totally.
- Yes. You have to.

Okay, I have a blog.

Should this stuff be burning?

Oh, no.

Hey, Amanda?
Can I use the apartment later today?

I'm doing this project outside of work

and I need a place to do interviews
and a photo shoot.

Totally. It's been empty
since we moved out, anyway.

Since you what? You moved out?

Oh, my God, are you serious?

Marc and I moved across the hall
to the two-bedroom

because we needed more space.

How many times
do I have to tell you this, Betty?

- Once would be nice.
- Once? Try three times.

Hey, Betty, it's me.
Listen, Marc and I are moving out, so...

Mandy, it's Marc. Betty is 9154.

That's hilarious. I keep doing that. Bye.

Yeah. Did we...
- Oh, um...

Do you know where is Daniel Meade's...

Hey, Betty. Marc and I are moving out.
I told you that, right?

You're sure you told me this?

Yes. Now settle.

It's not like you were gonna
move back in, anyway.

Well, no,

but I didn't know you'd be giving up
my apartment for good.

Betty, please, you gave up
your apartment a year ago

when you moved back
to your farm or wherever.

This is not a big deal.

And we're done.
I'm gonna go hit the ladies'.

Whatever's going on with your skin

makes me feel like
I need to go hose off.

Hey. What are you doing right now?

Skydiving. What are you doing?

I'm taking you out for a fun surprise.
Come on, let's go.

Do you not see the woman
in curlers at the end of my arms?

Plus I have another appointment.

You know, I figured it out.

You're being mean because
you're almost done raising a kid

and now you got to do it all again.

So, as of now, okay, this?
This is "Hilda Week. "

I'm taking you out every day,
we're gonna do something for you,

so that you know
your life's not all about

taking care of other people.

Go. Go, or I'm going.

Car's downstairs.
You need to hurry or you'll be late

for your cocktails
with the Dsquared guys.

You're sure the car's here?

Because it never showed
at Kors yesterday.

Actually, I'm sure the car showed up.

- But it didn't.
- But it did. Now go.

Stop, wait. Daniel.


- Oh!
- Marc. My jacket.

Shh. I got this.

What are you...

See? Always prepared. Spin.

Where did this jacket come from?

From your dry-cleaning.
And it fits flawlessly.

Now, get out of here.
You have to be at Waverly in 10.

I thought I was going to Farmhouse.

Okay, all this doubting me
is starting to get a little upsetting.

Okay, wow. She's very sensitive.

Hey, I just did my first "she. "


- So, what do you think?
- I love it.

"To inspire at least one person. "



Our first interview.

- Hey, there.
- Hi.

Come on in.

- Lee, come in.
- Hi.

So, the first time I visited Botswana,

I stayed in a gorgeous hotel
on the Zambezi.

Amazing views, great food, the works,

and just up the road was
a village of such poverty.

In fact, the hotel solicits donations

to help support the people
who live there,

but after seeing
how these lovely people lived,

I needed to do more
than just write a check.

And if you could see
the smiles on their faces,

the pure gratitude they feel
for so little...

I don't have the words,

so I'll leave that to you.

So, what's my surprise?

The surprise is that it's closed.


What happened?

- Cut my finger.
- Let me see.

Okay, wait, let me get a thingy.

Okay, so what am I missing here?

Concert. Ace of Base.

Ace of Base?

- Yeah.
- Oh, man.

I remember how much
we used to like them in high school.

Love. We loved them.

Yeah, I don't know what's up.

You know, my friend Perry told me
they're playing here Tuesday.

It's Wednesday.

- Get out of here.
- Yeah.

You know,
here I am trying to make you feel

like you don't have to take care
of people all the time,

and look at you right now.

We'll just do something tomorrow.
You did say it's Hilda Week, right?

- That's right, I did. Yeah, let's go.
- Okay.

So, did you publish it yet?

No, not yet. I'm scared.

What if no one reads it?

They will. I promise.

Look, do it now while
I'm on the phone with you.


Okay. Ready?

What? What happened? Did it crash?

No. Someone's at the door.
I'll call you back.

The landlord?

- Mr. Z.
- I sent you letters, I call your work.

What are you trying to pull?

What are you talking about?

I want you out of here
by the end of the week.

And if I don't get those
last two months of back rent,

I am going to sue.

What? Two months' back rent?

That's right, two months.

- But...
Stop. Hold up.

You make me sound
like a crazy person,

and you get to be all innocent.

I am innocent,
and you were very angry.

Oh, so it's me then?
I'm the worst part of your week?

No. It gets worse.


Keep going.

Oh, sweet Betty.
Don't scare me like that.

Good thing I just took a leak
or this could have gotten really ugly.

You moved out of
my apartment two months ago?

And you haven't paid any rent since?

Help, I'm scared.

You should be, Amanda.

I can't afford to pay
two months of back rent.

Okay, I told you about that.

It is not my fault
that you're deaf or whatever.

Stop talking. You are going to fix this.

Find the money, talk to Mr. Z,
do whatever you have to do,

but this is your problem, not mine.

Marc, why didn't you tell me
that you moved out of my apartment?

God, who can remember?
That was months ago.

A hundred words on Wilhelmina's desk
by the end of the day.

No. What is that?

Something for the hair, I think.

It's fine, I guess.

I'm doing my own thing now,
and I'm very proud of it.

Oh. Another hit. I have my own blog.

Aw, welcome to six years ago.

That was uncalled for.
Aw, welcome to two years ago.

Thank you.

- Hey, quitter.
- Fancy.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I got three hits.

And one of them said,
"You inspired me. "

Congratulations. I saw that.

- Wait, was that you?
- It was.

And actually that's why I'm here.

- You have a minute?
- Sure.

Amanda, send my calls to voicemail.

Marc forgot my lunch again.
I'm starving. I'll be back in 10.

But these ladies from Neiman's
are here to see you.


So, I thought our meeting
was tomorrow,

but clearly it's not,

because you're here today,
looking so lovely, I might add.

I think you remember
where my office is,

just down the hall to the right.

I'll be there in a jiff, I promise.
Thank you so much for coming.

Where the hell is Marc?

He just left with Willie.

Oh, of course he did.

Ever since we've been sharing him,
he's been a total screw-up.

You know, he's been getting
my appointments wrong,

he forgets my lunch every other day.

He actually sent me
to the wrong bar last night,

can you believe that?

And the guys from Dsquared
had to come meet me.

I looked like a total ass.

Okay, no offense,
but this is totally your fault.

Marc's a genius, and you're not
the best communicator in the world.

See? I knew what you meant just then,
but we've had sex, so it's definitely you.

And Willie would kill
to have Marc back.

Oh, my... That's it. That little...

That's exactly what he's doing.

Okay, that right there?
I have no idea what you just said.

So, guess what.

You remember when I said my friend

told me Ace of Base
was playing Tuesday?

And you said,
"It's Wednesday, dumbass. "

I don't think I said "dumbass," but...

Well, I was wrong.
They're playing today.


Well, it might take you a few tries,

but when you come through,
you really come through.

That's right.

Plus we're having ourselves
a little sidewalk picnic like we used to,

except instead of candy bars and beer,
we're gonna have actual food.


And prenatal vitamins.

Oh, my God. You think of everything.

It's home. Let me get this.

Hi, honey, what's up? It's Justin.

Oh, no. Are you all right?

Okay. All right. Just give me...

No, Justin, it's fine. I'm not that far.

All right? Justin, don't worry.

Okay. I love you.

Okay, bye.

He's sick.

How sick?

Sick enough that I got to go.

But I want you to stay.
This was the best idea.

I can't stay.
Come on, this is Hilda Week.

So what?

You just have fun
and come over tomorrow,

you'll tell me all about it.

So sweet. Thank you.
Have a good time. Stay, have fun.

So, after hearing Lee's amazing
stories about Botswana,

I dropped by the mission offices
to drop off another check.

Really? I love that.

God, Betty, what these people do...

Here, I've got to show you this.
Look at this map.

Okay, here is the village,

and this is how far away the river is.

Now they have a pump
in their village because of us.

- What?
- Nothing. I just...

I've never seen you like this.

So excited and I love that
you're experiencing this.

Good. Me, too.

Because that's what
I wanted to talk to you about.

I spoke with Lee
and she said if I wanted,

I could volunteer for the next tour.

For the what? For a tour of what?

- Of Africa?
- Yeah.

Wait, like, Africa-Africa?

Yeah, look, I know it sounds sudden,
but I want to do this.

I want to leave with them next week.

Hello, I'm here to see Connor Owens.

I'd like a table in the corner,
away from everyone else, please.

It's funny how it only takes
20 bucks and five minutes

on the computer to get re-ordained
to marry you and Connor,

yet it's completely illegal for me
to marry a man myself.

Are you gonna bring that up
every time I get married?

Excuse me, what's his name again?

Connor Owens.

Says here he's been transferred.


What are you talking about?
Transferred where?

I'm afraid I can't tell you that,

but he's definitely
no longer at this prison.

This is not possible.

Connor Owens
has not been transferred.

You go get him and tell him
Wilhelmina Slater is here now for him.

- Go get him.
- Ma'am, he's gone,

but there is an envelope
for Wilhelmina Slater here.

I don't want an envelope. I want him.

We're supposed to be
getting married today, you fool!

Don't you think he would have told me
if he was being transferred?

Damn you. Connor. Connor!

You're gonna have to
calm her down or we will.

Willie, maybe you should...

No. Did he do this?

Did he make this happen?

He did, didn't he?

- Answer me.
- Willie.

Don't look at me like that.

Six months?

Why do you have to go
for a whole six months?

Well, they want you to commit
to at least that long

so that they know you're serious.

Wait, "at least that long"?
Matt, this is a big move.


Look, you said that I needed to find
meaning in my life and you were right.

I mean, I've wasted
so much time asking myself,

"What do I need? What do I want?"

But your story got me
to ask a different question.

Like, "What do other people need?"

What is this gonna mean for us?

Well, would it have
to change anything?

How could it not?

Matt, you're gonna be living
on the other side of the world

for a long time.

And I thought that
you would be happy for me.

Look, I feel like there's some perfect
thing I'm supposed to say right now.

And it's...

This is big, and it's sudden, and...

I don't know,
I have to wash my hair for Wilhelmina.

Look, I've got to... I have to go.

Betty, look, you said you wanted
to inspire one person,

and you did.

Africa? Matt can't survive in Africa.

It's crazy, right?

Living in a house made of sticks,

looking for a place
to plug in his blow-dryer.

Please, getting his hair all tall like that?
That takes a blow-out. I know.

It's just so Matt, you know.

It's like one minute he's a lawyer,

the next he's an artist,
the next he's African,

and I'm just supposed
to go along with all of it?

Like I don't mind
being another temporary thing

in his life that he will eventually
move on from?

I mean, he should be
considering me in this, right?

Hey, I don't like to get
all up in your business.

But hell, yes, he should.

- Thank you.
- Mmm-hmm.

But I'm not allowed to say that. No.

Because then I sound
like a selfish monster

telling the person I love,

"No, Matt,
you can't go to Africa to help people. "

Hey, you sound however you want.


Who's that?
Papi's supposed to be at work.

Ah, they crack me up.

Bobby. What are you doing here?
When did you get here?

I got here about five minutes ago.

I brought this one some of my
Uncle Hugo's special fever soup.

It's guaranteed to work.

It's hideous.

The ingredients are chicken broth,
evil, and dirt.

Hey, you. Just drink it.

You'll be up and dancing
by tomorrow morning.

I swear on Madonna's cheeks.

Hey, I told you, it's Hilda Week.
Upstairs, go.

Read a book, take a bath,
whatever you want.

I got this.

Ahhh! That's it.

Excuse me, Wilhelmina.

I'm sorry to barge in,
but I would like a second of your time.

I need to ask you
to please stop torturing me.

My foot hurts, my armpits hurt,

and now my scalp is burning.

All because I wanted to write something

that maybe could make the world
a little bit better.

So, that's it. That's...

That's what I wanted to say.

Today was supposed to be
my wedding day.

To Connor.

But he made himself disappear.

With money or connections or I don't...
I don't know.

And the worst part is
he thinks he did it for me,

so I can live my life.

I know how to chase people
who've wronged me

but I don't know how to chase people
who say they love me

and then do this.

Well, obviously he loves you.

That couldn't have been easy for him.

He thinks this is love?

If he loved me, he'd do what I want.

Not this.

Please go.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Thanks for coming.
- Of course.

I wanted to talk to you, too.

I feel bad about dumping
all that on you before.

Yeah, I totally freaked out.

Yeah, of course you did.

And I've been thinking about it
and maybe you're right.

You know, maybe for our sake
I should stay in New York.

Maybe I could do some good here
and maybe I was just

- getting way ahead...
- Wait, wait, whoa, Matt.

Stop. That's a lot of maybes.

I didn't mean it that way. I...

You have to go.

You have to do this.

- Are you serious?
- Very.

Are you sure about this?

If you are.

I am.

But the one thing you cannot do
is doubt how I feel about you.

Betty, you changed my life,

and that lasts forever,

no matter where we may stand
in the world.


Now I have something to write about.


- Coffee?

Marc, I asked you to get my dinner.

- Darn it, I knew I forgot something.
- Okay, Marc, you know what?

I understand why you're making
all these mistakes.

You want me to fire you so you can go
back to working for Wilhelmina.

If that's what you want to do,
you should just do it.

Get on that scale.

Since when do I have a scale
in my office?

Since you have me in here. Hop on.

- I lost eight pounds.
- Yes.

Because I "messed up" your lunches
and "forgot" to book your cars,

so you'd stop eating like a lonely girl

and actually use those legs a little bit.

And look here. One, two, three.

That's how many times
you were photographed this week.

Let me ask you something,

how many times were you
photographed last month?

- Once.
- Exactly.

But this time you were
outside the Waverly,

where there is actually paparazzi,

instead of the Farmhouse,
where there is not.

And you were in this slimming jacket
that looks great in black and white.

And furthermore, are you aware that
you come off a little bit needy?

I do? Really?

- Do I?
- You do.

Which is why I let the boys
from Dsquared go to the wrong bar,

because those queens
should go to you.

And, PS, it worked.

Dsquared, Michael Kors, Coach.
They're all back.

So, as you can see, in actuality,

I did all this for you.

Unbelievable. Well, I...

Why didn't you just come tell me
about all this stuff?

Well, because when I told you
to shave your beard, you refused.

But lucky for me,
now you have to shave it.

Because there's gum in it.

There isn't gum in my beard. Why...

What are you...

We can do this your way or my way.




It's not everything,

but I sold some of my hair
to make up for the rent money.

But your hair looks the same.

Okay, I sold extensions. Used ones.

But I still want you to have the cash.

Look, Betty, I moved out
right after Matt chose you over me.

I needed to start over
and I was too hurt and mad

to talk to you about it.

It was so stupid.

Well, now we've both lost him.

He's moving away for a while.


- Don't smile.
- I'm not.

You're totally smiling.

So, what are you gonna do?

I guess I'm starting over, too.

Well, I heard about an open apartment,

and it's close to me,
which I wouldn't totally hate.

It's Betty. Can we talk?

Oh, that is a rough week.

I told you.

So, what do you say?

Can we figure something out?

Maybe you could raise my rent a little?

I could pay you back over time?

What if I raise Amanda's rent
and make her pay me back?

Yeah, that could work.

Did you ever write that piece
on goodbyes?

Just the first paragraph. Why?

My old lady left me six months ago.

She said I let myself go.

Point is, I get it.
I know what it means to have to

start over and everything.

You read me that paragraph

and I'll let you move back in.

- Really?
- Really.

Um, yeah, sure. I can do that.

- You got it there?
- Right here.

It's just a rough draft, though.

- I won't judge.
- Okay.

"I've had to say goodbye
more times than I would have liked,

"but everyone can say that. "

"And no matter
how many times we do it,

"even when it's for the greater good,
it still stings. "

- You think she bought it?
- Yeah.

I'll have my guy
make the deposit today.

"And though we'll never forget
what we've given up,

"we owe it to ourselves
to keep moving forward. "

For tomorrow, more Hilda time?

No, I don't need more Hilda time.

You're right.
I was freaking out because I thought,

"How am I gonna do this whole

"raising-a-kid thing by myself,
all over again?"

But now I realize that I don't have to,
because I have you.

What makes you think
I'm gonna stick around?


You make me think it.

I guess I must have done
something right.


"What we can't do
is live our lives

"always afraid of the next goodbye,

"because chances are
they're not going to stop. "

I need some inspiration, too, you know.

"The trick is to recognize
when a goodbye can be a good thing,

"when it's a chance to start again. "