Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 3, Episode 21 - The Born Identity - full transcript

Baby William is kidnapped and Betty is dragged into the ensuing drama.

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ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR FEELINGS?

WELL, I DID CONSIDER THROWING A DART AT THE REAL THING,

BUT SHE'S SO DAMN FAST IN THOSE HEELS!

CHRISTINA, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET.

BUT YOU'VE MISSED A LOT OF WORK,

AND IT'S NOT THAT I MIND COVERING FOR YOU,

BECAUSE I DON'T, BUT I HEMMED A SKIRT YESTERDAY

WITH A STAPLE GUN.

I'M SORRY, BETTY. IT'S JUST...

IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD SINCE SHE'S BANNED ME FROM SEEING THE BABY.

WE'VE BECOME REALLY ATTACHED TO THAT WEE BUGGER.



IT'S GONNA TAKE TIME AND SOME INTENSIVE SCOTTISH THERAPY.

YOU'RE UP, STUART.

LOOK, MAYBE COMING BACK TO WORK WOULD HELP GET YOUR MIND OFF THINGS.

MATT'S DAD'S COMING IN TO SIGN THE DEAL THAT'S GONNA HELP SAVE MEADE,

AND WE'RE THROWING A PARTY!

AND I ORDERED A COCONUT CAKE JUST FOR YOU.

NO ONE ELSE EVEN LIKES COCONUT.

OH, WELL, YOU DO MAKE A GOOD ARGUMENT.

I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU BE HAPPY AGAIN.

I HATE SEEING YOU LIKE THIS.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

LISTEN, YOU COMING FOR A DRINK WITH ME IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

YOU'RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES.

STOP.



TO FRIENDS.

TO BEST FRIENDS.

OOH, ANOTHER ONE,I THINK.

TWO MORE, PLEASE?

(Betty) EVERYBODY, I'M HOME!

OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE!

WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE JUNIOR HIGH?

(Ignacio) HI,HOW'S CHRISTINA?

GOOD. BETTER. I HOPE HE COMES TO WORK TOMORROW.

OH, GOOD.

AHEM! OKAY, NOW THAT EVERYBODY IS HERE--

JUSTIN!

WHAT?

WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!

YOU'RE GETTING TTMARRIED? (gasps)

SETTLE, SETTLE. WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED.

OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE PREGNANT!

OH, SHE'S PREGNANT!

HILDA,ARE YOU PREGNANT?

OH, MY GOD.

(Archie) NO.YOU GUYS, CUT IT OUT!

I'M NOT PREGNANT.

LISTEN,TOMORROW...

ARCHIE IS GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF HIS CAMPAIGN...

FOR PRESIDENT!

BOROUGH PRESIDENT.

IT'S STILL PRESIDENT.

THAT'S SO GREAT!

HOW EXCITING, ARCHIE.

CONGRATULATIONS,MR. PRESIDENT.

HEY, HEY, HUH?
LOOK, HE HAD T-SHIRTS MADE.

OH, LET ME SEE.

I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THAT, DO I?

HEY. "VOTE ARCHIE RODRIGUEZ--

AN A-ROD YOU CAN BELIEVE IN." GOOD ONE.

VERY CLEVER.

I DON'T GET IT.

NOW I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

AS PART OF THE LAUNCH,NEWS 12 IS DOING A FEATURE ON ME TOMORROW.

I WANT YOU TO BE IN IT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YEAH,YOU'VE INSPIRED ME.

I FIGURED IF I COULD GET SOMEONE LIKE YOU,

I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL--

ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.

OOH! YEAH, I DON'T PPKNOW WHAT TO SAY!

(giggles) I'M GONNA BE FIRST LADY.

YEAH, OKAY, SORT OF.

I HAVE TO WIN FIRST.

OKAY, WELL, BIGGER PICTURE--

YOU'RE GONNA BE ON TV TOMORROW,

WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE TO LOOK TASTEFUL.

AND LET'S JUST SAY YOUR CLOSET PRESENTS SOME... CHALLENGES.

HEY, I COULD GET YOU SOME OUTFITS FROM "MODE."

I'LL HAVE THEM MESSENGERED FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

YOU'RE GONNA PPGIVE ME CLOTHES?

NO, I'M LENDING YOU CLOTHES.

WE'LL SEE. (chuckles)

CHRISTINA?

HAVE YOU SEEN CHRISTINA?

NO.

(groans) WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT HERE?

WHY DID I GET COCONUT CAKE?

HEY, HILDA,DID YOU GET THE DRESSES?

YES, THANK YOU, I DID.

BUT I GOT A QUESTION.

HOW BOOBY CAN A FIRST LADY BE?

OR SHOULD I PLAY UP MY ARMS LIKE MICHELLE OBAMA?

WELL, WHY CAN'T YOU XXDO BOTH?

GOD. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM SO NERVOUS ABOUT ALL OF THIS!

WELL, BECAUSE ARCHIE ASKED YOU TO BE ON TV WITH HIM.

THAT'S SORT OF A BIG DEAL.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

PPIT'S LIKE HE ASKED ME TO BE PART OF HIS FUTURE OR SOMETHING.

HOLD ON. CLOSET.

UH, NO,CHRISTINA IS NOT HERE...

RIGHT--RIGHT NOW.

Can I, uh, tell her you called?

OKAY, BYE.

She's still not in yet?

Yeah, I don't know how much longer

I CAN KEEP COVERING FOR HER.

I MEAN, AT SOME POINT, I HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE, RIGHT?

LISTEN, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO, YOU KNOW?

At some point, she's gotta make her own decisions.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO THE CAMERA ADDS 10 YEARS, RIGHT?

10 pounds.

OH, CRAP, I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

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(sighs) OH, CAN YOU PUT THAT UP HIGHER?

OKAY, EVERYONE, HARTLEY'S COMING AT 11:00 A.M. SHARP,

SO PLEASE,LET'S PICK UP THE PACE.

GOOD MORNING!

HEY, BETTY,WHAT DO YOU THINK?

LOOKS GREAT.

YEAH, DID YOU CHECK OUT THE OMELET BAR?

IT'S A NICE TOUCH, HUH?

EVERYONE LOVES AN OMELET BAR.

OH, DID YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO PRINT UP

THE FOURTH-QUARTER PROJECTIONS?

YES.

I REALLY WANTED YOU TO PUT THEM IN THE FANCY PLASTIC--

PLASTIC COVERS?

RELAX, DANIEL.

YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.

YOU'VE GOT A WONDERFUL PRESENTATION,

AMAZING VISUALS AND AN OMELET BAR.

BETTY, COME ON.
THE MAN MADE ME DRESS UP IN A BUNNY COSTUME.

I HAVE TO PROVE TO HIM THAT I DESERVE RESPECT.

BESIDES, NOTHING'S OFFICIAL UNTIL HE SIGNS ON THE DOTTED LINE.

LOWER THAT, WILL YA?

OH, WILLIAM.

HI, WILLIAM.

HI.

OH, THANK YOU, BETTY.

THAT'LL BE WORTH AT LEAST TEN YEARS OF THERAPY.

UH, DANIEL, WILL YOU HOLD HIM?

HE IS YOUR HALF BROTHER.

OH, UH, O-OKAY.

(sighs) BEFORE WE START OUR PRESENTATION,

I WANT HARTLEY TO HOLD HIM.

WHY?

WELL, I HEARD HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR KIDS.

APPARENTLY, ALL HIS CHARITIES BENEFIT "THE CHILDREN."

SO ONCE HE GETS A GLANCE AT MY LITTLE ANGEL,

HE WILL BE PUTTY IN OUR HANDS.

IT'S HUMAN NATURE.

YOU PUT ONE IN YOUR ARMS,AND YOU TURN INTO A GRINNING IDIOT...

LIKE THAT.

IN DANIEL'S DEFENSE,HE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE THAT.

OH, STUPID NANNY.

SHE PACKED A SWEATER WITH A LOOSE BUTTON.

WILL YOU TAKE THIS DOWN TO THE CLOSET

AND HAVE CHRISTINA SEW IT UP, PLEASE?

RIGHT AWAY, FRAULEIN.

DID YOU SAY FROWN LINE?

NO.

I CAN TAKE IT TO CHRISTINA.

I'M GOING DOWN THERE NOW,ANYWAY.

I CAN GET IT DONE IN A JIFFY!

SHE'S STRONG.

OW! SON OF A... MMM.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO BUILD UP CALLUSES LIKE MINE.

(gasps) CHRISTINA,YOU MADE IT!

BRIGHT-EYED AND BUSHY-TAILED.

NOW WE CAN START BY LETTING ME HAVE THAT.

OH, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.

I CAN--
NOW COME--JUST--

OH, IT'S THE, UH...

THE BABY'S HERE.

YEAH. SORRY.

NO, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S FINE.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

I AM A MATURE WOMAN.

I JUST WISH I'D BROUGHT MY DARTS.

LET'S STAY SHARP.HARTLEY'S HERE ANY SECOND.

IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS, MARC.

PUT ON YOUR GAME FACE.

NOT YOUR GAY FACE--

YOUR GAME FACE.

THEY'RE THE SAME FACE.

YOU'RE FINE.

THANKS.

OH, COME ON!

HI, STEVE!

WRONG FLOOR.

COME ON.

SEE YA.

(Marc) THERE HE IS!

WOW. HELL OF A GREETING.

MR. HARTLEY,SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

WE'RE HONORED TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANKS, BUNNY.

OH, GREAT.

WE'RE STILL DOING THAT. HA.

BETTY, ALWAYS A PLEASURE.

MR. HARTLEY.

CLAIRE.IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

UH, YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

FROM WAY BACK.

AGES AGO.

I'M SURPRISED YOU REMEMBERED ME.

IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

I AM WILHELMINA SLATER.

DAMN, THIS IS AN ATTRACTIVE STAFF.

AW... THANK YOU!

SHOULD WE, UH, TAKE A TOUR,OR DO YOU WANNA GO STRAIGHT TO THE OMELET BAR?

WHY DON'T YOU START WITHOUT ME?

I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON MY BABY.

WHA--IS THERE A BABY HERE?

CAN I SEE HIM?

I LOVE BABIES!

YOU DO?

ALWAYS HAVE. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THEY CAN'T ASK ME FOR MONEY.

OVER HERE? OH.

RIGHT THIS WAY.YES, YES.

DADDY MORE-BUCKS IS KIND OF OLD, BUT HOT.

DO US ALL A FAVOR AND WAIT TILL AFTER HE SIGNS THE DEAL TO JUMP HIS BONES.

I MAKE NO PROMISES.

HERE HE IS.

IS THIS A JOKE?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

MARC, WHERE'S WILLIAM?

UH, HE WAS IN HERE NAPPING A MINUTE AGO.

HAS ANYONE SEEN THE BABY?

OH, MY GOD.

MY BABY'S GONE.

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WHERE IS MY BABY?

MARC, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MONITORING HIM!

I WAS, I WAS.PPI DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING!

HE--HE WAS ONLY ALONE FOR LESS THAN A MINUTE!

(groans) HOW COULD YOU VVBE SO STUPID?

I'LL CALL SECURITY.

HAVE THEM LOCK DOWN THE BUILDING.

COME ON, MARC,CALL THE POLICE.
GOT IT.

WILHELMINA, DON'T WORRY.

WE'RE GONNA FIND HIM.

I KNOW WHERE RRTO START LOOKING.

(Betty) CHRISTINA!

OH! I THOUGHT SUCKING UP TO THE RICH GUY WOULD TAKE A LITTLE BIT LONGER.

WILLIAM'S BEEN KIDNAPPED.

WHAT? WHEN?

JUST NOW!

OH, MY GOD.

SHE DID IT--

THAT UNGRATEFUL FOREIGN WOMAN.

OW! WHAT--

(scoffs) NOT HER,THE WHITE ONE.

ARREST HER!

NO! NO. JUST GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

I-I DIDN'T DO IT!

I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME!

CHRISTINA DIDN'T DO THIS.

WE WILL LET THE COPS DECIDE.

NO ONE LEAVES HERE UNTIL THEY SPEAK TO THE POLICE.

THAT INCLUDES YOU.

BREAKING NEWS.

TODAY'S HOT COLOR--AMBER--

AS IN "ALERT."

THE GOLDEN CHILD OF WILHELMINA SLATER

AND THE LATE BRADFORD MEADE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED.

ALL MEADE EMPLOYEES ARE BEING QUESTIONED.

INFORMATION IS SCARCE,

BUT, I, SUZUKI ST. PIERRE,HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE WITH AN EYEWITNESS.

OH, HEY, THERE.

OH, BEFORE WE START,I'LL ONLY SPEAK ON THE CONDITION OF UNANIMITY.

DO YOU MEAN "ANONYMITY"?

EXACTLY.

BUT YOU'RE ON TV.

EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU.

I KNOW.

OKAY, CUT. CUT.

TAKE FIVE.

I'M GETTING AN OMELET.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

WHO WOULD KIDNAP A BABY?

I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST WILHELMINA TO DO IT HERSELF.

MOM, YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

BESIDES, GIVEN YOUR PAST,YOU'RE A MUCH MORE LIKELY SUSPECT.

YOU DIDN'T DO IT,DID YOU?

OH! OF COURSE NOT.

KIDNAPPING ISN'T MY M.O. AT ALL.

IT DISTURBS ME THAT MY MOTHER HAS AN M.O.

MR. HARTLEY.
YEAH.

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.

I'M GONNA HAVE BETTY RESCHEDULE THE PRESENTATION.

WHY DO WE NEED TO RESCHEDULE?

UH, NO,JUST BECAUSE OF--

YEAH, LOOK,DON'T GET ME WRONG.

IT--IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT THERE'S A CHILD MISSING.

BUT TOMORROW MORNING,I GET ON A PLANE FOR MOSCOW.

SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOCK THIS THING DOWN TODAY,

OR THAT'S IT.

ALL RIGHT, UM...

EXCUSE ME JUST A SECOND.

MS. SLATER SEEMS TO THINK THAT YOUR FRIEND CHRISTINA McKINNEY

HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DISAPPEARANCE OF HER CHILD.

NO, SHE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

SHE LOVES THAT BABY. SHE'S AS DEVASTATED AS ANYONE ELSE.

WHICH GIVES HER EVEN MORE OF A MOTIVE.

LOOK, SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU,

SHE WAS IN THE CLOSET THE WHOLE TIME.

DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY EVIDENCE THAT SHE DID ANYTHING?

THAT'S WHY WE'RE TALKING TO YOU, MISS SUAREZ.

(sighs) DETECTIVE, I HAVE KNOWN CHRISTINA FOR YEARS.

THERE IS NO WAY SHE COULD'VE DONE THIS.

OKAY.

YOU CAN GO.

BUT, UH, IF YOU THINK OF ANYTHING THAT MIGHT HELP,

HERE'S MY CARD.

CHRISTINA!

HI, HILDA.

(Hilda) Archie hated the dresses.

HE SAYS THEY'RE TOO FANCY.

HE WANTS TO REPRESENT HIMSELF AS A MAN OF THE PEOPLE

AND DOESN'T WANT ME TO BE THE NEXT SARAH PALIN.

HILDA, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?

WE'RE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EMERGENCY.

OKAY, WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY?

STRIPES ARE OVER?

NO, WILHELMINA'S BABY'S BEEN KIDNAPPED.

OH... GOD. THEN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING TO ME FOR?

Go! Go!

AMANDA, DO YOU KNOW WHERE CHRISTINA IS?

BETTY, WHEN I MARRY MR. HARTLEY,

I'M GONNA BE YOUR MOM.

UH, AMANDA, I NEED YOU TO FOCUS RIGHT NOW.

DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY. GO TO YOUR ROOM.

AMANDA, DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE CHRISTINA IS?

FINE. SHE JUST LEFT.

THE POLICE RELEASED HER?

I GUESS. SHE DID SEEM PRETTY UPSET.

WELL, OF COURSE SHE'S UPSET.

THE BABY IS MISSING,AND EVERYONE'S ACCUSING HER.

WILL YOU TELL DANIEL I'LL BE BACK?

(sighs) THEY GROW UP SO FAST.

OKAY?

CHRISTINA!

CHRISTINA, WAIT!

BETTY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WAS THAT STUART?

YEAH, I'M JUST TAKING HIS CAR HOME.

I KINDA NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THERE.

YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'RE UPSET.

BUT DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE DRIVING?

BETTY, I'LL BE FINE, REALLY.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

JUST GO BACK TO WORK.

NO, NO, I CAN GO BACK IN A MINUTE.

BETTY,WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY.

WELL, I AM.I'M--I'M OKAY.I'M OKAY.

NO, CHRISTINA,YOU DON'T SEEM OKAY.YOU SEEM REALLY WORRIED,

AND I DON'T BLAME YOU.

CHRISTINA,WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I JUST--I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.

CHRISTINA!

YOU TOOK THE BABY!

CHRISTINA,HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?

I DON'T KNOW!

WHEN YOU TOLD ME THE BABY WAS IN THE OFFICE,I-I JUST SNAPPED.

AND THEN WHEN EVERYONE WENT TO THE ELEVATOR,

I JUST TOOK HIM,AND THEN I CALLED STUART.

YOU KNOW, I DEFENDED YOU TO THE POLICE

I'M A PART OF THIS NOW.

I'M ACCOMPLICE TO A KIDNAPPING.

BETTY, IT'S NOT A KIDNAPPING WHEN IT'S YOUR OWN SON.

IT'S NOT YOUR CHILD.

CHRISTINA, THERE WAS A TEST.

THE BABY IS WILHELMINA'S!

AND YOU THINK THAT WILHELMINA IS NOT CAPABLE OF--

OF FAKING A D.N.A. TEST?

BETTY, SHE NEEDS THAT CHILD TO HOLD ON TO HER PLACE AT MEADE.

THIS IS INSANE.

THIS IS CRAZY.WE HAVE TO GO BACK.

YOU HAVE TO RETURN THE BABY.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T GO BACK.

THEY'LL ARREST ME.

OH! OH, GOD.

OH, I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'TMEAN FOR YOU TO GET INVOLVED.

AND THIS CHART CLEARLY SHOWS THE FOURTH-QUARTER PROJECTIONS.

SO AS YOU CAN SEE,EVEN IN A BAD ECONOMY,

MODE"" SALES HAVE INCREASED."

WE'VE ALREADY LINED UP KATE BECKINSALE,PENELOPE CRUZ, ANNE HATHAWAY

FOR THE FALL COVER--

IS THIS A JOKE?

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MY CHILD!

HATHAWAY--SHE, UM, SHE'S HOT.

SORRY. UH, I MEAN,SHE'S HOT RIGHT NOW.

I'M SORRY.

MR. HARTLEY... THIS DEAL IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME,

BUT, UH, MY PARTNER'S SON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED--

MY HALF BROTHER.

SO YOU'RE ASKING IF YOU CAN RESCHEDULE,

EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU THIS IS THE ONLY TIMEI CAN DO THIS?

YES, I AM.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?

I'M GONNA MAKE TIME BEFORE MY FLIGHT TOMORROW MORNING.

HI.

LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE.

WE'VE GOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE.

YOUR TAILLIGHT IS OUT.

OH. JUST THE TAILLIGHT?

IS ROAD SAFETY A JOKE TO YOU?

NO, MA'AM. ACTUALLY,I WAS SALLY THE SAFETY DUCK ALL THROUGH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

WAIT HERE.

CHRISTINA, CAN WE PLEASE JUST TAKE WILLIAM BACK BEFORE THIS GETS WORSE?

BETTY, HE'S MY SON.

CHRISTINA!

NO, LOOK, LOOK.

OKAY, IT'S A PICTURE OF WILLIAM.

IT'S A PICTURE OF ME AS A BABY.

BETTY, YOU KNOW ME.

YOU--YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING

AS CRAZY AS THIS IF I WASN'T 100% SURE.

PLEASE?

I'M GONNA LET YOU OFF WITH A WARNING,

BUT ONLY IF YOU PROMISE TO GET THAT TAILLIGHT FIXED.

I PROMISE.

WHOSE BABY IS THIS?

(Betty and Christina) MINE.

OURS.

THE BABY IS OURS.

WILL BOTH YOU LADIES STEP OUT OF THE CAR, PLEASE?

AROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR, PLEASE, MA'AM.

YOU, TOO, MISS.AROUND TO THE FRONT.

WHAT WERE YOU LADIES THINKING?

TH THE LaCORTE INFANT CAR SEAT,

YOU GOTTA USE THE LOCKING CLIP.

IT'S SAFER. (laughs) MY PARTNER AND I HAVE THE SAME ONE.

THE CAR SEAT,NOT THE BABY.

ALL RIGHT,HAVE A GOOD ONE, LADIES.

OKAY.

OH, BETTY,THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT SAYING ANYTHING.

CHRISTINA, LOOK, I BELIEVE YOU, OKAY?

YEAH.BUT THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DEAL WITH THINGS.

I JUST WISH YOU WOULD'VE COME TO ME FIRST.

NEXT TIME.

LET'S JUST GET SOMEWHERE SAFE SO WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT.

JEEZ,I CAN'T READ THIS WATCH.

LET'S JUST SAY HOUR FOUR OF THE SLATER-MEADE KIDNAPPING.

NOW THE FUZZ HAVE BEEN A LITTLE STINGY ABOUT THE DETAILS,

SO WE'RE FORCED TO CONFINE OUR REPORTING TO GOOD,

OLD-FASHIONED WILD SPECULATION.

NOW THE BOYS IN THE F.X. DEPARTMENT

HAVE USED AGE-PROGRESSION SOFTWARE

TO DETERMINE WHAT THE SPAWN OF BRADFORD MEADE

AND WILHELMINA SLATER WOULD LOOK LIKE BY 20.

MOTHER OF PEARL,THE MAN IS AN ADONIS.

THE WORLD CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE THIS SPECIMEN.

IF YOU'RE OUT THERE LISTENING,

I MAKE THIS DEMAND OF THE KIDNAPPERS--

BRING HIM BACK.

WE'RE TALKING FASHION ROYALTY.

MOM! MOM.

I HAVE TO WATCH THIS!THIS IS MY O.J.

THEN GO WATCH IN THE KITCHEN.

THEY'RE ABOUT TO START SHOOTING.

(woman) WE'RE GONNA SET UP IN THE SALON.

THAT'S PERFECT, THANKS.

NICE WORK, GETTING THEM TO SHOOT IN MY SALON.
IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS.

WELL, YOUR SALON IS AN EXAMPLE OF MY SUPPORT FOR SMALL BUSINESS.

AND IT'S THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT THAT WILL PULL THIS COUNTRY RIGHT OUT OF--

YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER.YOU ALREADY GOT MY VOTE.

JUST MAKE SURE THAT THEY GET A CLEAR SHOT OF MY SIGN.

OH, OKAY.

HEY, THANKS FOR TONING DOWN THE OUTFIT, HUH?

NO PROBLEM.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME TO BE A PART OF THIS THING.

(woman) UM, COUNCILMAN,WE'RE READY TO CHECK YOUR MIKE.

OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

UM, THANKS. SEE YOU IN A BIT.

OKAY, JUST WIPE THAT--

OKAY.
OKAY. (sighs)

...THIS DRAMA WILL UNFOLD.

THE QUESTION ON EVERYONE'S MIND IS,

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THAT KIDNAPPED BABY?

IF THE BABY SNATCHERS HAVE ANY SENSE OF DECENCY AT ALL,

THEY'LL TAKE THE GENETICALLY BLESSED BAMBINO TO...

YOU ARE KIDDING ME.

WE FOUND THIS FROM THE SECURITY CAMERA IN THE STAIRWELL.

I BROUGHT IT TO YOU FIRST,AS PER OUR USUAL AGREEMENT.

HIT IT.

UH, COULD YOU PAUSE,PLEASE?

UM, TROY, MAY WE HAVE A MOMENT ALONE?

COME ON, YOU.

WHO'S THAT?

THAT IS CHRISTINA'S HUSBAND STUART.

(gasps) GREAT SCOTT!

I'M SORRY. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT.

SO SHE REALLY DID TAKE THE BABY.

OH, SO THAT'S GREAT NEWS.

THE BABY'S SAFE.

NOW ALL WE NEED TO FIND CHRISTINA IS A TEAM OF BOOZE-SNIFFING HOUNDS.

WIL, IT'S OKAY. CHRISTINA WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT LITTLE WILLIAM.

IN A FEW HOURS,HE'LL BE BACK SAFE AND SOUND

IN HIS NANNY'S ARMS.

WE DON'T HAVE A FEW HOURS.

IF CHRISTINA HAS THE BABY,THEN THE TRUTH IS GOING TO GET OUT.

WHAT TRUTH ARE YOU REFERRING TO?

I HAD THE D.N.A. TEST FAKED.

THE BABY'S NOT MINE.

IT'S CHRISTINA'S.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU FAKED THE D.N.A. TEST IN ORDER TO CLAIM CHRISTINA'S BABY AS YOUR OWN.

THE BIGGER PICTURE, FOOL.

IF IT GETS OUT THAT THIS BABY IS NOT MINE,

I LOSE MY CLAIM TO THE MEADE FORTUNE.

I'M FIRED, AND YOU ALONG WITH ME.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHERE THAT BABY IS SO THEY DON'T DISCOVER THE TRUTH.

HOW? CHRISTINA COULD BE ANYWHERE.

OKAY. I'M A SCOTTISH SEAMSTRESS/KIDNAPPER

AND I HAVE A PASTY COMPLEXION.

WHERE DO I TURN?

YOU WOULD TURN TO YOUR BEST FRIEND.

BETTY.
BETTY.

OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS ARE THE KIDNAPPERS?

I TOTALLY CALLED THAT.

SHH! NO, WE'RE NOT KIDNAPPERS.

WELL, OKAY, TECHNICALLY,WE'RE KIDNAPPERS,

BUT IT--IT'S VERY COMPLICATED.

THIS IS SO EXCITING.

I GOTTA GO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS

WHOA, YOU GO UP TO YOUR ROOM AND YOU DON'T SAY A WORD.

YOU GOT THAT?

BUT ALL THIS DRAMA--I CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DRAMA CLUB?

ZIP.

FINE.

YOU GUYS GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

IF REPORTERS THINK THAT ARCHIE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS,

HIS CAREER IS THROUGH,AND THEN WE ARE THROUGH.

HILDA, JUST KEEP THEM IN THE SALON.

WE'LL SNEAK UP THE STAIRS.

THEY'LL NEVER EVEN KNOW WE WERE HERE.

ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU CAN'T STAY IN THE HOUSE.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

I DON'T CARE. I JUST DON'T WANT ARCHIE TO SEE YOU HERE.

HILDA? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

(chuckles) YEAH.

EVERYTHING IS GREAT.NEVER BETTER!

FINE, I WILL DISTRACT THEM.

BUT THIS ISN'T OVER.

(Hilda) OKAY, EVERYBODY!

LET'S GET THOSE CAMERAS ROLLING.
I'M FEELING REALLY GOOD ABOUT THIS.

HOW ABOUT EVERYBODY FACES ME AS I STAND AGAINST THE WINDOW?

OH, HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN ARCHIE'S POSTER,

HOW HANDSOME HE IS?

COME ON, STOP.

OH, NO, THAT'S GREAT.

WHY DON'T WE USE WHILE WE'RE--

YOU KNOW WHAT? ACTUALLY,I PREFER THE WINDOW.

I LIKE TO BE BACKLIT.

IT'S VERY... SPIELBERG.

WAS THAT A BABY?

NO, THAT WAS JUSTIN, MY SON.

MEGAN FOX AND BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN BROKE UP AGAIN.

HE WAS REALLY PULLING FOR THEM, SO HE'S JUST...

WELL, HERE'S WHAT I WAS THINKING IS THAT WE COULD ACTUALLY

COME THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR...

AND THEN WE CAN SHOW THAT WE'RE INSIDE A HOUSE.

YOU KNOW, YOU WANNA GO OUT THE FRONT DOOR?

YOU KNOW WHAT?I JUST HAD AN IDEA--GENIUS.

ARCHIE, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD REALLY SHOW THEM?

THE YIELD SIGN YOU HAD INSTALLED DOWN THE BLOCK.

WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO SEE A YIELD SIGN?

BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR FIRST ACT AS COUNCILMAN.

FIRST SMALL STEP ON THE WAY TO GREATNESS.

ACTUALLY, I LOVE IT.

IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU'D HIREHER AS YOUR PUBLICIST.

WELL, O-OKAY.

SEE? COME ON.

I'LL SHOW YOU THE SIGN.

BEFORE IT WAS THERE,THERE WAS NO YIELDING.

IT WAS CHAOS. YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

HE HAS SAVED THE DAY--

ARCHIE RODRIGUEZ.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME, MIJA?

OH, HI, STUART.

I'M AFRAID WE'VE HAD A LITTLE BIT OF A DETOUR.

KIDNAPPING. AY, DIOS MIO.

THAT'S GOTTA BE, LIKE,10,000 HAIL MARYS.

PAPI--

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ASKED WHERE YOU SHOULD DRAW THE LINE WHEN HELPING A FRIEND?

YOU JUST CROSSED IT.

HILDA, WE HAD NO OTHER OPTIONS.

PAPI, YOU UNDERSTAND,RIGHT?

I'M TRYING TO.

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA DISCUSS THE FACT THAT YOU KIDNAPPED A BABY,

BUT THEN TO BRING HIM HERE WITH ARCHIE'S CAMPAIGN ON THE LINE?

WHAT WAS I GONNA DO?

SHE NEEDED MY HELP.

I COULDN'T JUST TURN MY BACK ON HER.

BUT, BETTY, SHE DIDN'T JUST JUMP A SUBWAY TURNSTILE.

THIS IS KIDNAPPING!

I KNOW, BUT SHE THINKSTHAT BABY IS HERS,AND I BELIEVE HER.

MIJA, EVEN IF IT IS,WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO?

I DON'T KNOW. GET ANOTHER D.N.A. TEST, SOMETHING.

OKAY, SO WE JUST MAYBEDROP BY THE D.N.A. PAGODAAT THE MALL.

OKAY, HILDA, OKAY.

I GET IT. WE NEED HELP.

YEAH, BUT WHO'S GONNA HELP A FUGITIVE

MODE MAGAZINE.

OH, HEY, BETTY. YES,

I'LL CONNECT YOU TO CLAIRE.

OW! MY HAIR!

(whispers) SORRY.
Hello. This is Claire.

(Betty) Mrs. Meade,I really need your help.

BETTY, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING BY CALLING ME.

DR. GELOBTER IS A CLOSE FRIEND.

HE'LL GET THE TEST DONE QUICKLY AND QUIETLY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,MRS. MEADE.

I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU STICKING YOUR NECK OUT LIKE THIS FOR US.

WELL, BETTY'S HELPED ME MANY TIMES IN THE PAST.

I'M ONLY TOO HAPPY TO RETURN THE FAVOR.

AND ONCE WE PROVE THAT THIS BABY ISN'T WILHELMINA'S,

WE'LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO GET RID OF THAT BITCH.

(man) POLICE.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

(man) PUT DOWN THE BABY!

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!DON'T MOVE!

(man) MA'AM, HAND OVER THE BABY NOW.

GIVE UP THE BABY.

GET BACK! GET YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK.

LET'S SEE THOSE HANDS.

NO, NO!

(man) YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.

ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW.

SO IN THEORY,IF YOU HADN'T STOPPED US,

WE'D ALREADY KNOW THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE BABY'S MOTHER.

IN FACT, WE WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU RESOLVE THE SITUATION.

HEY, LADY, YOU CAN STOP TALKING, HUH? WE GET IT.

YOU'VE BEEN FREE TO GO FOR 15 MINUTES.

YOUR FRIEND OVER THERE HAS GOT A GOOD LAWYER.

OK, SO, SO WILINLMIN S REEDREEDDRO THE THA CHARGES

AIAGAINSTHBOF YOF YO AATUTBOUT CHRNA?

BETTY,

DANIEL??THAT THE BABY IS HERS.

DANIEL, I BELIEVE HER.

COME ON, YOU HAVE TO TALK TO WILHELMINA.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP.

(Claire) JUST DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.

THAT WOMAN WON'T GIVE UP ANYTHING UNLESS YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING ON HER.

WILHELMINA, WE ARE IN FRONT OF A D.N.A. FACILITY.

WHAT HARM COULD IT POSSIBLY DO?

I AM NOT GONNA INDULGE THE LUNATIC WHO TOOK MY SON

JUST TO GIVE HER PEACE OF MIND.

I KNOW.
I-I'M JUST SAYING,THEN WE'D BE DONE WITH THIS WHOLE UGLY SITUATION.

WE COULD PUT IT BEHIND US.

I TOOK THE TEST ALREADY.

IT PROVED THAT HE WAS MY SON.

I KNOW.

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH THE RESULTS,

I SHOULD SUBMIT TO ANOTHER ONE?

LOOK, DANIEL,SHE STOLE MY SON.

LORD KNOWS WHERE SHE COULD'VE TAKEN HIM.

AND YOU WANT ME TO HAVE SYMPATHY FOR HER?

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,SHE CAN ROT IN JAIL.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING WE CAN DO.

WE'RE IN HANDCUFFS IN THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR, BETTY.

I THINK WE MIGHT BE OUT OF OPTIONS.

NO, WE'RE NOT.

WE COULD GET A COURT ORDER OR... SOMETHING.

WE CAN MAKE THIS RIGHT.

I DON'T KNOw WHAT I WAS THINKING...

TAKING ON WILHELMINA SLATER.

I DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.

CHRISTINA...

YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND,BETTY.

I JUST WANTED HIM TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE.

THAT'S ALL.

(man) MA'AM, WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE?

I MADE A FEW MORE BOTTLES,AND THEY'RE IN THE REFRIGERATOR,

AND THE NANNY SHOULD BE HERE AT 7:00 TO TAKE OVER.

THANK YOU, MARC.

IS THERE SOMETHING ELSE?

N-NO.

UM, JUST...

CONGRATULATIONS, I GUESS.

YOU DID IT.

AS FAR AS ANYONE KNOWS,THE BABY IS YOURS.

THE BABY IS MINE, MARC.

OF COURSE HE IS. UM...

AND YOUR POSITION AT THE COMPANY IS SECURE.

AND CHRISTINA IS GOING TO JAIL.

WIN-WIN.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT?

I...

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT,WILHELMINA.

GOOD NIGHT, MARC.

I'M SORRY, HILDA.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT THEM HERE.

I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

MM. IT'S JUST A GOOD THING THAT ARCHIE DIDN'T FIND OUT.

IF HE THOUGHT THAT YOU BROUGHT A KIDNAPPED BABY HERE WITH A NEWS CREW

FOLLOWING HIM AROUND...

(laughs) HE WOULD BE SO, SO--

I WOULD BE SO... WHAT?

CUTE.

YOU ARE SO CUTE.

DID YOU CHANGE TIES?

BECAUSE IT IS--IT IS CUTE.

IT IS WORKING FOR ME.SEXY. I LIKE IT.

HILDA, I KNOW.

(scoffs) CONCEITED!

BUT STILL CUTE.

JUSTIN TOLD ME EVERYTHING.

(chuckles) HE'S ALWAYS MAKING UP STORIES.

HE'S VERY CREATIVE.

HILDA, STOP. LOOK, SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, ARCHIE.

IT WAS ME. IT WAS MY FAULT.

I WASN'T TRYING TO ENDANGER YOUR CAMPAIGN.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP MY FRIEND.

I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I THINK THAT'S NOBLE.

WHAT? YOU WERE STRESSING ABOUT WHAT DRESS I WAS GONNA WEAR,

BUT NOW YOU'RE OKAY WITH KIDNAPPING?

OKAY, OKAY, TO BE CLEAR, AS CANDIDATE FOR QUEENS BOROUGH PRESIDENT,

I AM NOT OKAY WITH KIDNAPPING, BUT...

AS YOUR FRIEND,

I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT.

BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER WHAT'S RIGHT,BECAUSE WILHELMINA WON.

DID YOU TRY FIGHTING DIRTY?

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, I'M--I'M JUST SAYING,

WE ALL WANT TO PLAY BY THE RULES,

BUT SOMETHING I'VE LEARNED IN CITY POLITICS IS,

WELL, TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T HURT TO BE A LITTLE... CREATIVE.

I KNOW THE TRUTH.

AND, UH, WHAT TRUTH DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW?

THAT BABY DOESN'T BELONG WITH YOU.

AND THAT AUBERGINE FAUX FUR DOESN'T BELONG WITH ANYTHING.

YET HERE WE ARE.

I CAN PROVE IT.

YOU SEE THIS? THIS STAIN IS THE BABY'S SPIT-UP.

AND WHEN I GET IT TESTED, IT'S GONNA PROVE THAT THE BABY IS CHRISTINA'S,

AND YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.

OR...

YOU CAN ADMIT THAT THE BABY ISN'T YOURS,

AND WE CAN CHALK UP THAT FAKE D.N.A. TEST TO A MISTAKE.

YOUR CHOICE.

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT ME.

YES.

YES, I DO.

SO WE SHOULD GIVE THAT ENCHANTING POLY-BLEND THING TO YOUR LAB?

AND WHEN THE D.N.A. RESULTS COME BACK AND THEY SAY STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE,

THEN WHAT?

BABY SPIT-UP AND MILKSHAKE ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT COLORS.

OH, COME ON, BETTY.

I'M A FASHION EXPERT.

I NOTICE EVERYTHING.

IT'S A GIFT AND A CURSE.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

I DON'T HAVE D.N.A. EVIDENCE.

BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP.

I DON'T HAVE YOUR MONEY, AND I DON'T HAVE YOUR POWER,

BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH, AND I WILL FIGHT UNTIL IT COMES OUT.

WILHELMINA, EVEN YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO LIE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER TO JUST TELL THE TRUTH NOW.

WHEN I DISCOVERED THE ERROR IN THE D.N.A. TEST,

I WAS DEVASTATED, BUT I KNEW I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING.

BECAUSE WHILE I KNEW I'D BE LOSING MY BABY,

THERE WAS SIMPLY NO WAY I COULD KEEP A CHILD FROM HIS REAL MOTHER.

IN A FINAL TWIST, IT TURNS OUT

THE BABY APPEARS NOT TO BE THE SCION OF BRADFORD MEADE

AND WILHELMINA SLATER--

BOO-HOO--BUT RATHER SOME KID FROM A COUPLE OF SCOTTISH PEOPLE.

NOW GIVEN THIS NEW INFORMATION, WE'VE HAD TO REVISE OUR PREVIOUS DEPICTION

OF WHAT THE BABY WOULD LOOK LIKE AT 20.

DEAR LORD.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS A SHAME THAT THIS KIDNAPPING STORY

HAS COME TO SUCH A TRAGIC CONCLUSION.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WILHELMINA TOLD THE TRUTH.

YES, THE WOMAN'S A SAINT.

OH, ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT HER SHARES IN THE COMPANY ARE LITTLE WILLIAM'S,

AND WITHOUT THE BABY, SHE'S GOT NOTHING.

AND I DON'T CARE HOW TALENTED SHE IS.

YOU KEEP A COBRA AROUND LONG ENOUGH, EVENTUALLY THEY BITE.

MOM'S RIGHT.

WILHELMINA'S PROVEN TIME AND AGAIN SHE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

LET ME FIRE HER.

NO. I'M GONNA DO IT.

IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY.

FINE.

BUT I WANT TO SEE TEARS.

MR. HARTLEY BEFORE WE SIGN THE PAPERWORK,

THERE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT OF BUSINESS WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF.

WILHELMINA, AHEM, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU?

YOU'RE FIRED.

UH, I'M SORRY.I COULDN'T HELP IT.

SERIOUSLY?

YOUR TIME AT MEADE IS OVER.

WELL, THAT IS A SHAME.

LET'S GO, GUYS.

WAIT. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

IF YOU'RE GONNA FIRE WILHELMINA, I'M OUT.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT MR. HARTLEY,

THIS IS AN INTERNAL PERSONNEL MATTER.

BUT I HAVE AN OPINION.

I THOUGHT WE AGREED YOU'D BE A SILENT PARTNER.

WELL, YOU'LL FIND THAT SOMETIMES I'M NOT SO SILENT.

SHE'S A SHARK.SHE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

SON, I THINK A SHARK IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED

TO BALANCE THINGS OUT AROUND HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LOOK, YOU'RE A STAND-UP GUY, DANIEL,

AND THAT'S GREAT,

BUT I CAN'T HAVE YOU HOPPING OFF TO YOUR BUNNY HOLE EVERY TIME A PROBLEM COMES UP.

I OWN COMPANIES IN COLOMBIA,INDIA, BRAZIL.

IF I STOPPED DOING BUSINESS EVERY TIME SOMEBODY GOT KIDNAPPED,

I'D NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE.

SO EITHER MS. SLATER KEEPS HER STAKE IN THE COMPANY

AND HER JOB,OR I WALK.

PLEASURE. CLAIRE.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

(man) GOOD. FOR YOU.

I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST.

OKAY, NEVER MIND.

(sighs) GLAD TO SEE YOU,BETTY.

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO THANK YOU.

WHAT FOR?

FOR THE PLUCKY LITTLE THREAT YOU MADE.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

THE TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT.

AND WHEN YOU MENTIONED THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER NOT TO HAVE TO LIE

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,

I TOOK THAT QUITE TO HEART.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO INVEST IN THIS COMPANY,

I THINK YOU NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT ME.

WHAT IS THAT?

I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO STOLE A DEAD MAN'S SPERM,

WHO FALSIFIED D.N.A. RESULTS,WHO KEPT A MOTHER IN THE DARK

JUST TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION THAT HER BABY WAS MINE--

ALL OF THIS TO ENSURE MY PLACE IN THIS COMPANY.

WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME ALL THIS?

BECAUSE I'M SOMEONE YOU NEED ON YOUR SIDE,

WORKING FOR YOU AS OPPOSED TO AN ENEMY...

WORKING AGAINST YOU.

YOU ENCOURAGED ME TO TELL THE TRUTH,

AND BECAUSE OF THAT, HARTLEY DECIDED TO KEEP ME ON.

SO THANK YOU AGAIN.

OH, AND WHEN CHRISTINA COMES BACK, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR AND BRING THE BABY TO HER?

I THINK IT'D BE BEST IF SHE AND I DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER.

BRAVO, WILHEL-MAESTRO.

BRAVO.

WHO'S THAT?

IT'S YOUR MOMMY.

(whispers) HELLO.

THERE'S MOMMY.

AND I'M YOUR DADDY.

YES, YES.
HEY, LITTLE GUY.

HEY.

BETTY...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY SINCE YOU FIRST GOT TO "MODE."

I MEAN, YOU STILL DRESS THE SAME, BUT STILL, A LONG WAY.

IT'S BEEN REALLY LOVELY KNOWING YOU AS A FRIEND. I MEAN THAT.

CHRISTINA, STOP. WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE YOU'RE GOING AWAY?

CHRISTINA...

STUART AND I ARE GONNA GO BACK TO SCOTLAND.

WHAT?

WHY?

WE WANT TO BE CLOSER TO OUR FAMILIES SO THE WEE ONE CAN GET TO KNOW THEM.

PLUS, I DON'T WANT HIM SPEAKING LIKE A YANK,

'CAUSE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU PEOPLE SAY. (chuckles)

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR CAREER?

WHAT ABOUT DESIGNING?

WHAT, YOU THINK THEY DON'T HAVE DESIGNERS IN EDINBURGH?

LISTEN, I'VE NOT GIVEN UP ON MY DREAM.

THAT WAS SOMETHING I LEARNED FROM A VERY GOOD FRIEND.

COME HERE.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

I'LL MISS YOU, TOO.

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