Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 3, Episode 2 - Filing for the Enemy - full transcript

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Previously On "Ugly Betty"...
(Betty) You Have
A Secret Husband?

Booze And Pills Weren't Enough?
I'm Sick.

If I Can't Marry
Into The Meade Family,

I Will Give Birth To An Heir.

We Need To Find A Surrogate
We Can Control,

Someone Who's Desperate
For Money.
I'm The Editor-In-Chief
Of "Mode,"

And This Office
Is Now A Nursery.
But I'm Your Father,

You Are My Son,
And We're In This Together.

You're Telling Me
That You're Married?
I Just Wanted You To Know

Because I Feel
Like I'm Falling For You.

Betty, Hey!
Welcome To Our New Home.



I Really Want To Take On
More Responsibility.

I Just... I Thought That
That Was Gonna Be At "Mode."

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Daniel...
(Man Speaking Indistinctly)

When I Said
That "Player" Magazine

Should Show Women
In A More Professional Light,

This Isn't Exactly
What I Had In Mind.

Betty, That's Your Concept--
America's Hottest Lawyers.

Um, I Pihed America's
Top Female Attorneys.

Look, I Know This Is
"Player" Magazine,

But Does Every Spread Have To Be
Women In Skimpy Bras?

You Know What? You're Right.
I Hadn't Thought Of That.

Let's Lose Those Bras,
Please.
(Man) Lose 'Em.

No, That's Not What I Meant!



That's Not What I Meant.

What Are You Working On?

Nothing. Just Doodling,
You Know.

Is That "Mode"?

No, It's Just, Uh,

It's Just The Mock-Up
For Wilhelmina's First Issue,

You Know.
I Knew It, Daniel. A Part Of You
Wants To Be Back At "Mode."

No, Look. I Just Want To See
What Wilhelmina's Up To.

You Know Exactly
What She's Up To--

Firing, Scheming,
Looking For A Puppy To Kick.

Well, Then I'm Happy
To Be Away From It.

See? Happy.

It's Daniel's Copy
Of The Mock-Up.

Oh, Crap. I Forgot
We Still Send It To Him.

I'll Make Sure
We Take Him Off The List.
Uh, No.
That's Not Why I Here.

You See, Alexis, There Are
A Lot Of Notes In Here,

And They're Good.
I'm Sure He Has
A Lot Of Notes.

It's Wilhelmina's First Issue,
And He Hates Wilhelmina.

No, See,
These Aren't The Notes

Of Somebody Who Wants
To Get To Wilhelmina.

"Cover Is Too Obscure.
Will It Sell?

Pull Up Key Ads. Where Is
'"Mode" Girl On Madison'?"

Alexis, He Cares
About This Magazine.

He Misses "Mode."

I Mean, He Won't Admit It,
But He Belongs Here.

I Appreciate Your Loyalty
To Your Boss, Betty,

But Daniel Doesn't Work
At "Mode" Anymore.

Okay.

Well, Thanks For Your Time.

What's Wrong?

Nothing. What's More Romantic
Than Lunch On Foot

With A View
Of Rikers Island?

(Mouth Full) Okay.

You Know,

You Deserve Better
Than Week-Old Lamb.

How About...

A Real Date?

(Gasps) Really?

Yeah, Jill Got Called
For A Layover Flight
Leaving Wednesday Morning.

I'm Thinking
Maybe Wednesday Night,

We Could Do Something Special.

Hey. What--What Happened
To The Smile?

No, Nothing.

I Just Try To Forget
That You Have A Wife,

But... You Have A Wife.

And I Told You
How Things Stand.

Coach, Everything
That You Said To Me

About--About Us Having
A Future Together--

Just Be Honest With Me,

Is That For Real?

I Promise.

You're Not The Other Woman.

You're The Only Woman.

But If You Take This Shot
And Put It Right Here,

It Draws Your Eye
Right To The Ad.
Alexis, We Go To Print Tonight.

My Launch Party's
In Two Days.

There's Time.
And What About This Cover?

Angelina Jolie
In A Block Of Ice?

I Mean, Do You Have A Shot
That's A Little Le Arty?

Or At Least One
Where You Can See Who It Is?

Wait A Minute.
Those Aren't Your Notes. Ugh.

Ah, The Rounded O's
Of A Stunted Adolescent,

The Stiff T's Of Someone
Who's Clearly Overcompensating.

This Is Daniel's Handwriting.

J'accuse.
Yes, These Are Daniel's Notes,
And I Happen To Agree With Them.

Why Is He Even Giving You Notes?
He Isn't. Betty Found Them
And Brought Them To Me.

Now Why Don't You Put
Your Ego Aside For A Second

And Just Admit
That Your Issue Needs Help?

I Mean, Where's Our "'Mode' Girl
On Madison" Feature?

Who Cares What The Average Woman
Wears On The Street?

We Shouldn't
Be Taking Their Pictures.

We Should Be Throwing Rocks
At Them.
I Think Our Readers Like It.

Our Readers Like
What I Tell Them To Like.

Look, We Agreed That "Mode"
Needed A Kick In The Ass.

I'm Giving It
A Kick In The Ass.
I Never Tire
Of You Saying That.

Just Take A Look
At Daniel's Notes.

Of Course.

Well, She--

I See Someone's
Gonna Be A Problem.
Daniel?

(Scoffs) Daniel Is
An Overripe Cantaloupe

Tumbling Toward Irrelevance.

I'm Talking About Betty.

She's Trying To Get Daniel Back
In Here. She's The Problem.

Okay, Lunch.

No Burrito For You.

Marc, Why Did You Do That?

You Have A Lunch Date.
With You?

No. With Wilhelmina.

(Woman) Mademoiselle.

Look At Us--
Two Women Of Color

Out For A Fancy Lunch
On The Town. (Chuckles)

Isn't This Fun, Girlfriend?

(Chuckles) I Guess.

And That Blouse Is Heaven.

Where Did You Get It?
I Love It.

Okay. No, You Don't.

No, I Don't.

It's Hideous,
Like Driving Through Ohio.

Look, Let's Cut To The Chase,
Betty. I Need You.

What?

You Kept Daniel's Files.

Marc Can't Make
Heads Or Tails Of Them.

Um, Okay. Yeah. Fine.

I'll Ask Daniel
For A Little Bit Of Time
To Come And Work On Them.

Or You Could Recognize
A Career Opportunity
When You See One.

Betty, You Were The Assistant
To The Editor-In-Chief
At "Mode" Before.

I Think It's Time You Return
To Where You Belong.

Are You Offering Me A Job?

At "Mode," Working For Me.

Look, Wilhelmina,
I'm Not Leaving Daniel,

And... To Be Frank...

I Don't Really Trust You.

Loyalty And Suspicion--

Two Very Admirable Qualities.

Betty, You Belong At "Mode,"

And I Think Daniel
Would Understand.

Well, I Think Daniel Will Say
That You Want To Hire Me

To Ask Me To Do
Very Bad, Bad Things.

(Scoffs)
I Would Never Ask You To Do Anything Wrong,

Ugly Or Morally Suspect.

That's What I Have Marc For,
Dear.

W--
Don't Answer Now.

But Don't Throw Your Future Away
At "Player."

She Offered You A Raise, Too?

A Little One, Yeah.

Well, Every Bit Helps
When You Have A New Apartment.

Dad, I Am Not Going To Sell Out
Daniel To Pay My Rent.

You're Not Selling Anyone Out
When You're Making
A Good Career Move.

Aunt Betty, You Have
To Go Back To "Mode."

"Player" Gets Me Nothing.

It's Like I'm Stuck
In A Sand Trap

At The Bottom
Of The Ninth Quarter.

Listen To Me.
I'm Already Changing.

Oh, That Reminds Me.
Tony Wanted To Know

If He Could Have One Of Those
Signed "Player" Covers

With All The Star Athletes
For The School Auction.

Oh, Sure. Yeah, Hilda.
I'll Just Ask Daniel

Right After I Tell Him
That His Mortal Enemy
Offered Me A Better Job
With More Pay.

Opportunities
Are Coming Your Way.

This Is Something
To Be Proud Of.
I Don't Think That's How
Daniel's Gonna See It, Dad.

I Feel Like I Was Cheating
St Talking To Wilhelmina.
You're Not Cheating.

It's Not Cheating
To Explore Other Options

Because Your Situation
Is At A Dead End.

I Just--I Care About You.
That's All.

Well, One Thing Is For Sure.

I Have To Go In There
First Thing In The Morning

And Tell Daniel
That I Spoke To Wilhelmina,

Because Secrets In That Place
Have A Way Of Going Bad.

Someone's Working Late.

Yeah. I Just Came By
To Pick Up A Little Homework.

Lucky I Ran Into You.

I Want To Make Sure You're
Coming To My Launch Party.

(Scoffs)
Well, I Hadn't Really--
Wonderful. You Know,
I'm So Glad We're Talking.

I Know It Seems Like I'm Trying
To Poach Your Assistant.

(Laughs) Excuse Me?

Oh,
Betty Did Tell You We Spoke

About Her Coming To Work For Me,
Didn't She?

I Mean, I Know You Two
Have No Secrets.

Mm. Good. It's All
Out In The Open Then.

Of Course
It's Out In The Open.

I Mean, Everything's
Out In The Open
Between Me And Betty.
(Ding)

How Could You Hide This
From Me?
I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.

God, Just The Thought Of It,
You Sitting At Her Desk,

Rolling Calls For Her?!

Daniel,
I Don't Want To Leave You.

Then Why Are You
Going Behind My Back?
It Wasn't Like That.

Okay, Well, Tell Me
What Happened, Please.

You Met With Her, She Offered
You A Job And You Didn't Say No.

Daniel,
Working At "Player" Magazine

Isn't Exactly My Dream Job.

I'm Not Happy Here.

I Am.

Are You?

Just Stop Right Now.

I'm Not Leaving.
Do You Understand?

This Is What I Want.

Well, Maybe It's
Not What I Want.

Look, You Want To Go Workfor Wilhelmina ???

Daniel, Can We Please
Just Talk About This Reasonably?

I Am Being Utterly Reasonable!

If You Hate It Here, If You
Think You'd Be So Much Happier

Working For Wilhelmina, Go.
Is That
What You Want Me To Do?

Is That What You Want To Do?

Wilhelmina?

Does The Offer Still Stand?


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Daniel's Like A Different Person
Since He's Been At "Player."

All Of The Fight And Ambition
Is Out Of Him.

You Can't
Make People Change, Betty.

At Some Point, You've Got
To Look Out For Yourself.

I Know. You're Right.

But I'm Working
For Wilhelmina.

I Know, The Wicked Witch
Of The East Side.

But You're A Smart Girl.

I Am, And I Know Exactly
What She's Capable Of,

So I'll Just Keep My Eyes Open
At All Times.

Truth Be Told...

I'm Glad You're Back.

Christina Must Have
A Doughnut In Her Pocket.

Betty Suarez Under My Rule.

How I Have Longed
For This Day.

Marc, We Don't Want Her
To Quit.

We Just Want Her To Stay Away
From Daniel For A While.

Just Keep Her Busy.

Betty Suarez!

Our Newest Employee.

Marc.

Complimentary Mimosa?
Really?

No, But If You
Get The Filing Right...

(Singsong Voice) I Won't
Beat You With A Bag Of Oranges.

You Be Nice To Her.

Don't Eat Or Drink Anything
That He Gives You, Okay?

Oh, Don't Be Silly.

Betty's On Team Slater Now.

Ere Will Be
No Drugging Of You.

Okay, Seriously, You Can't
Touch My Nose Anymore.

I-I Don't Understand.
What--A Holdup?

I Thought His Immigration Papers
Were Going Through This Week.

I'm Sorry, Mr. Meade.

Your Son's Grandparents
In France
Filed A Claim For Custody.

Oh, No, No, No. I--Look,
I Talked To Them Already.

They Agreed To The--
Well, I Guess
They Changed Their Minds.

They Want Him Home.
Well, He Is Home.
I'm His Father.

Look, Yo-You Have To Do
Something About This.

The State Department
Has To Be Able To Do--

Your Family Connections
At The State
Can Help Expedite Immigration,

But They Filed The Claim
In Court.

This Could Turn
Into A Real Custody Battle.

Daniel Jr. Lost His Mother.

He's Not Gonna Lose
His Father, Too.

These Things Can Get Ugly.

(Scoffs)
Your Son Is 13 Years Old.

Maybe Before You Get Involved
In A Big Legal Battle

You Should Ask Him
What He Wants To Do.

(Marc) Don't Interrupt,

Be Invisible,

And If Penelope Del Rios Asks,

You're A Huge Fan
Of Her Cosmetics.

You Can't Live Without 'Em.
I Don't Wear
Del Rios Cosmetics.

Hold On. (Clears Throat)

Yes, You Do.

Take A Look, Penelope.

I Think You'll Agree
The New "Mode" Is More Upscale,

More Chic--
Exactly Your Demographic.

You'll Kick Yourself If You
Don't Take Another Two Pages.

Yes, But We've Been Advertising
In "Mode" For Two Years Now,

And There's Been No Uptick
In Our Sales.

I See No Reason
To Spend More Ney.
Excuse Me. I'm Sorry.

Oh, No. That's For Wilhe--

Enjoy.

Aah!
Thank You, Betty.

Gracias. Not So Fast.

Tell Me... (Chuckles) Betty,

Do You Use My Cosmetics?

It's Right On Your...

No.

I'm S--I-I Can't Afford Them.
Sorry.

I Do. I'd Rather Starve Than
Go Without Your Night Creme.

We Are Coming Out
With A Budget Line, You Know?

Really?

Well, You Should
Advertise That In "Mode."

(Scoffs) I Very Much Doubt
The Del Rios Budget Customers

Are Poring Through
The High-End Pages Of "Mode."

Oh, They Totally Do.

My Sister--
She Has A Salon In Queens,

And All Those Women Love "Mode."
They--It's All They Talk About.

All Day Long, Rah. "Mode."

They Just Can't Afford
Anything In It.

Isn't That Interesting?

I Think We Just Found A Way
To Sell Your New Line.

This Is Good.
I Came In Saying No.

I Leave Saying... Yes.

Can You Believe It?

My First Day Here,
And I Helped Sell.

Did You Flip Your Wig?
I Told You To Be Invisible.

She Asked Me A Question,
And I Was Helpful.
Don't You Get It?
Wilhelmina Doesn't Need Help.

You Never Outshine The Queen.
Yeah, Well,
She Landed A Major Advertiser,

And By The Way,
Wilhelmina Totally Smiled At Me.

She Wasn't Smiling.
She Was Showing Her Teeth.

Betty!

In My Office Now.

Wilhelmina...

I Just Want To Apologize
If I Spoke Out Of Tu
In Your Meeting--

I Need Some Things
For The Launch Party.

Run To Dior.

Luke Created
A Signature Perfume For Me.

Bee Pollen--
Make Sure It's African.

I Need Some Cleansing Milk
From Diane Bouch?

I Also Need The Tiara
That Catherine The Great Wore

At Her Wedding
To Peter Iii.

It's Part
Of The Permanent Collection
Of The Museum
Of Russian Antiquities.

I Want To Wear It
To My Party.
But Do They Even--

Could You Give Me A Hint? I--

Seriously, Wilhelmina,
How Am I--

Shh.
By The End Of The Day.

Come On. Right Here.
Come On.

Yeah! All Right!
It's Coming. Oh, No!

God, You're Gettin' Good
At This, Aren't You?

Are You Having Fun?
Oui. Good Time.

Well, I Figured Since You
Had To Start School Tomorrow,

We Might Get In
One More Day Of Hooky.

Uh, Hooky?
Like, Uh, Prostitute?

No, No. No Prostitutes.

Only When You're Older.

I Mean... (Clears Throat)
Not At All, Son.

No, I Just Thought
We'd Talk,

You Know,
About Important Stuff.

So... (Clears Throat)

You, Uh,
You Have Grandparents...

Back In France.

Do You--Do You Miss Them?

Oui.

I Love Them Very Much.

Maybe, Uh,

We Can Visit?

Yeah. Yep.

Sure.

You, Uh, Don't Want
To Talk More?

Nah. You Know What?

I Think
That's Enough Talking.

Come On.

I Don't Get It.

I Totally Helped Her
On That Del Rios Account,

And Now It's Like She's Trying
To Torture Me With A Tiara?

It's Like
She Wants Me To Quit.

What's The Worst
She Could Do?

Well, They Say She Once Beat
An Assistant With A Car Antenna,

But I Think It's Just A Myth.(Cell Phone Rings)

Oh, God, No. Stuart.

What? What's Wrong?
I Think
He's Doing Drugs Again.

What?
Oh, My God, Christina...

I Took This From His Stuff.

Ew! Ew! Ew! It's Gross!
Put It Away.

That's Disgusting, But I Don't
Think It Means He's Doing Drugs.

I Know, But It Can Tell Me
If He Is.

I've Sent Some Hair Samples
To A Lab.

Well,
What Can I Do To Help You?
I Need You At "Mode," Betty.

You're The Only Ally
I've Got There.

So Please,
Just--Just Don't Get Fired.

Well, I Can Try.

Miss, I Need You
To Stand Back, Pleas

Miss!

I'm Sorry. Um, Actually,
I Was Wondering,

Who Do I Talk To About
Renting This Tiara?

I Mean,
You Don't Have To Laugh.

I Can't Be The First Person
To Ask That Question.

Is There Somebody Else
I Can Talk To?

I Know It's A Crazy Request,

But She Really,
Really Wants It.

You Know What? Never Mind,

You're Probably Just Gonna Laugh
At Me, Too, Right? Okay.

I'm Guessing That's A No?

(Snaps)
This Is My Favorite Part
Of The Job--

Injecting Deadly Poison
Into My Boss' Head.

Mm. Well, It Helps That You Have
Really Feminine Fingers.
Mm. It's A Blessing.

No Luck
With Catherine The Great,

Betty The Mediocre?
You've Been Gone
A Long Time.

I Know. I'm Sorry.
I Ran Into A Few Troubles.

I Had To Go To Three Different
Stores To Get Your Bee Pollen,

But I Got It, And Your
Cleansing Milk Cost Over $600,

So I Had To Call Accounting
First For Authorization.
Where's The Tiara?

I Don't Have It...

But They Do.

It Turns Out The Curator's
Boyfriend Dumped Her

Just Because She Gained
A Little Bit Of Weight
Due To An Underactive Thyroid.

I Know. It's So Sad.

So I Just Sat With Her
For, Like, An Hour,

And I Think
That's All She Needed
Was Someone To Talk To,

You Know, To Listen.
Are We To Understand
That You Got The Tiara
By Being Nice To Someone?

Well, No, Not Exactly.

We Also Have To Give The Museum
A Full-Page Ad
In Next Month's Issue,

But I Already Talked
To Ad Sales,

And We Worked Out
A Barter Agreement.

We Give Them Ad Space, They Give
You The Tiara For 48 Hours,

And Also Ed And Andy
Have To Be Within 20 Feet
Of The Tiara At All Times.

If You Ask Me, It's
Just Beginner's Luck. I Mean--

Marc, Take Off Your Gloves.

Betty Will Be Doing
My Botox Today.

Um, Don't You Think
A Doctor Should Do This

Or At Least
A Nurse Practitioner?

Oh, I'm So Numb Up There
I Wouldn't Know If You Hit Bone.

Betty, Do You Know
Why I Hired You?

To Help With Your Files?

I Always Suspected
You Were The Brains
Behind Daniel Meade.

Uh, Well, No.
No, Th-That's Just--

That's Not True.Daniel Is Very Smart.

Yes, Yes, Yes.
Smart As A Whip.

But Let's Talk About You
For A Moment.

Betty, You Passed The Test.

So The Tiara Thing--
That Was A Test?

Because I Thought That
It Was Some Sort Of Punishment

For Speaking Up
In Your Meeting.

On The Contrary.

I Was Very, Very Impressed.

And It Made Me Think
That Maybe...

You Were...

The One.

Like "Lord Of The Rings"?

Betty, There's Only Been
One Other Rson

Who's Been Able To Get
That Tiara--Me.

When I Was Fey Sommers'
Assistant,

She Wanted That Tiara For Her
Launch Party Ofherfirst Issue,

And I Did It.

Of Course My Methods Were
A Little Less Wholesome
Than Yours.

But I Proved To Her That Given
A Seemingly Impossible Task,

I Could Accomplish It.

So?

Betty, You've Proved
That You Have Rare Potential
That Must Be Cultivated.

I??m ????

And Lord Knows,
You Need Some Grooming.

You Will Be My ??,

And You Will Start With
Taking Over My Launch Party.

But That's Marc's Job.

And Now It's Yours.

Betty,
I'm Offering You A Future.

After Being My Assistant,

You Could Write Your Own Ticket
In This Town.

And Who Knows? Maybe You'll Be
The Next Wilhelmina Slater.

Marc?

Look, I'm Hoping--

I Would Rather Eat Butter.

I Haven'even Asked You
To Do Anything Yet.

You Bossing Me Around Is
A Crime Against Nature.

Marc, You're Being Ridiculous.

Sorcers!

You've Taken Away From Me
Everything That Matters.

Marc, Look--

I Didn't Try And Take
Your Job From You,

And I'm So Sorry About This,

But I Have To Try
And Make A Launch Party Happen

In Less Than 27 Hours,
And There Is No Way

That I Could Do It
Without You.

No.

So If You Could,
Please, Please, Please...

Try And Help Me Find
A Life-Sized,

Anatomically Correct
Black Vodka Ice Sculpture
Of You Know Who...

God! And Then She Just
Waddles Back In Here

Like A Helpless Brown Weeble,

And While I'm Not Looking,
Plunges My World Into Darkness.

Oh. Poor Baby. Come Here.

You're Nice,
But Don't Touch The Hair.

It's Just How I Like It.
Okay.

Hi. I'm Looking
For Betty Suarez.

Hi. I'm Betty Suarez.

Don't Be Absurd.

I'm Betty Suarez.
How Can I Help You?

Yeah, Uh, Can You Guys Just
Page Her For Me? Is That--
Oh.

Tony! Tony. Hi. Uh...
Oh, Hey.

Sorry About Them.

No, No. It's, Uh, Okay.

Is This A Good Time
To Get That Signed Copy?

Um, Right. I'll Go Down
To "Player" And Get It.

You Wait Here, Just Maybe
Not So Close To Them.

Here You Go.

Oh, Very Cool.

You See That Super Bowl?

If I Say Yes, Will You
Take Your Shirt Off?

Okay,
And Thanks For Coming, Tony.

Will You Tell Hilda
That I'll Call Her Later Today?
Yeah. Thanks.

Bye. Whoa!

I Need Mr.-Sugar-Pants-
Bedroom-Eyes' Number.

Tony? No. I'm Nogiving You
His Phone Number.

I Need To See Him Again
To Give Him His Phone,

Which He Accidentally
Left Here

When It Fell Out Of His Pocket
Into My Hand.

Wait A Second.
You Pickpocketed Coach Diaz?

I Was In A Trance. I Barely
Remember What Happened.

Ooh, But These Pictures Of Him
Kissing That Slutty Stewardess
Are Really Dulling My Tingle.

My Sister
Is Not A Stewardess.

But It Has To Be Delivered
At 8:00 P.M. Sharp
Because It's An Ice Sculpture,

And I Don't Want It To Melt.
Don't Mind Me.

I Took A Train For A Half-Hour
From Queens

To Eat Soggy Dumplings By Myself
And Watch You Talk.

Okay, I'll Call You Back
In The Morning. Thank You.

Hilda! I'm Sorry. I Have
This Launch Party Tomorrow.

It's Driving Me Crazy.

Okay, So I Heard Tony
Was Sexually Harassed
By Your Coworkers.

Yeah, That Happens A Lot
In That Place.

(Laughs) Oh, Before I Foet,
You Have His Cell Phone?

Right. Okay.

Uh, So, Hilda, This Is What
I Wanted To Talk To You About.

Oh, God. This Is--
This Is Hard.

So I Saw Some Photos
On Tony's Phone...

Of Him And Another Woman.

Are You Okay?

I'm So Sorry, Hilda.
Say Something.

That's His Wife.

What?

Wait.
They're, Like, Separated?

Well, You Know,
It's Complicated.

What,
You're Dating A Married Man?

See? This Is Why I Don't Tell
You Things. Because You Judge.

Yeah, Because, Hilda,
That Would Be Wrong.

Well, I Didn't Know That He Was
Married When We Started Dating,

And Then--
Hilda, What Are You Thinking?

You Have To Get Out Of This.
This Is Just Gonna End Bad.

Well, Who Says It's Gonna End?
We're Gonna Make It Work.

Look, Can't You
Just Be Happy For Me?

No. He Has A Wife.

You Think I Don't Know That? You
Think That Doesn't Tear Me Up?

Well, Then Walk Away.

I Can't. (Scoffs)

I'm In Love With Him.

I'm Not Hungry Anymore.

Like I Said, Uh,

Remember Not To Get Too Hung Up
On Any One Girl.

You're--You're Young.
You Gotta Play The Field.
Quoi?

And Listen In Class, Okay?
That's What I Told You.

Um, ??Outer Le Teacher.

Oui.

Papa, Uh, Your French Is, Uh,

How You Say--Sucky.

Just Have A Good Day.

Bonjour, Daniel.

You're A Natural Father.

Am I Being Selfish?

His Grandparents
Want Him Back In France.

I Know He Misses Them.

Well, He Can Miss Them
And Still Want To Be Here
With His Father.

He's In A Foreign Country.

He's Away From Everything
He Knows, Everyone.

Don't You Think
He'd Be Happier With Them?

Doesn't Really Matter
What I Think, Does It?

I Know.

I Have To Ask Him.

I'm Just Afraid I'm Not Gonna
Get The Answer I Want.

I Don't Want To Lose Him.

(Man) Where Do You Want
This Ice Sculpture?

Oh, No, No, No.
This Can't Be Here Right Now.

The Party Isn't Till Tonight.
She'll Melt.

Emily. Can You Please
Take These Guys

Down To The Italian Restaurant
And Beg Them To Let Us
Use Their Walk-In?

I Don't Care If You Have To Buy
Every Pizza In The Place.

Just Hurry. We Don't Want Her
To Start Sagging.

You Guys, Seriously,
Can You Stop Goofing Around?

You Know How Wilhelmina Gets.
Yeah, How Does She Get?

Tell Us.
Yeah, Tell Us.

Tell Us.
Little Miss Thing Here
Has Been Working For Wilhelmina
For Half A Minute,

Now She's All Up In Her Gooch.
I Have Been Up All Night,
Working On This Party,

And There Are Still A Million
Things That We Have To Do.

A Million And One, Actually.

Wilhelmina Wants You To Shred
All This Old Mail Into Confetti.
I'm Busy. Can You Do It?

Uh, Let Me Think. Hmm.

No.

Just Because You're Running
This Party

Doesn't Mean
You Can Boss Me Around.

And You May Be In Wilhelmina's
Good Graces Today,

But That Doesn't Mean Anything
About Tomorrow.

Loyalty Is Not One Of
Wilhelmina's Strong Suits.

Oh, But, You Know, I Guess
It Isn't One Of Yours Either.

What? I Am Loyal.

Really? Is That
Why You Dumped Daniel

The Second He Got In The Way
Of Your Career Ambitions?

I Guess I Shouldn't
Be Surprised.

That's Exactly What Wilhelmina
Would Have Done.

You Two Are A Lot More Alike
Than I Thought.

Happy Shredding.

(Wilhelmina) Betty, You've
Proved You Have Rare Potential.
(Daniel) Look, If You Want
To Go Work For Wilhelmina, Be My Guest.

...Maybe You Were
The One.

If You Think
You'd Be So Much Happier
Working For Wilhelmina, Go.

(Marc) You Two Are A Lot More
Alike Than I Thought.

I'm So Numb Up There I
Wouldn't Know If You Hit Bone.

There You Are, Madame Editrix.
Thank You, Marc.

Now Be A Dear And Go Fetch Me
Some Carrot Shavings.

I'm Feeling Snack-Ish.

What The Hell
Are You All Staring At?

Don't You Have Some Work
To Screw Up?

Look At Me When I'm Yelling
At You! Don't Look At Me.

You--Go Fix Your Teeth.

You--Stop Eating That Doughnut.

You--Lose 10 Pounds.

You're Fired. You're Fired.

You're All Fired.

Hi, Betty.
Uh, It's Daniel.

Remember?
We Used To Work Together.
No Time.

No, No, No.
Betty, I Just Want To--
Security!

No, No, No. Wait. Wait.
W-Wait. Wait.

No. I Just Wanted To
Ask You A Question. Please.

What The Hell Is That?

Not The Puppy!

Well, Big Date
With The Coach Tonight?

Not Wearing That.
Mom, Leopard And Zebra?

They Fight Each Other
In The Wild.

You'll Never Survive
The Evening.

I Think She Looks Beautiful.
You Know Why? She's Happy.

I'm Not.
Look, Work With Me Here.

This Is What I Do.

Okay. Thank You.

You're Welcome.

And Thank You, Papi.

You Deserve This, Mija.

(Sighs) Yeah.

Yeah. I Do.

Okay.

I Know You're Tired Of Me
Saying This, But I Have To.

You Are Wasting Your Time
And Your Talent At "Player."

You Are A Good Editor.
Betty--

I'm Not Finished.
You Belong At "Mode," Daniel.

It Is The Most Important
Magazine At This Company,

Your Family's Company.

You Were Good At Your Job,

And If You Don't Believe Me,
Then Read These.

Wilhelmina Had Somebody Hide

All The Positive
Letters To The Editor
When You Were In Charge.

She Was Gonna Have Me
Shred Them.
They're All Positive?

All Of Them,
And There Are Tons.

Your June Cover--
The One That She Said Was,

"A Pimple On The Butt
Of Fashion"...
Oh. She Said That?

Not The Point.
These People Loved It.

And "'Mode' Girl On Madison"?

Some Of These People Said
They Subscribed Just For That.

Daniel, You Have
To Show These To Alexis.

(Scoffs) Come On.
She Doesn't Care About Me.
She Cares About "Mode."

Yeah. Okay, Look.

I Really Appreciate
What You're Doing.

And, Yes, Of Course I Want
To Be Back At "Mode."

Why Do You Think
I Got So Mad At You, Betty?

Because You're There
Reminding Me Of That
Every Single Day.

Wilhelmina Won. I Lost.
It's Over.

Daniel,
Anything You Truly Want...

Has To Be Worth Fighting For.

You Used Me! You Just Wanted
The Money To Buy Drugs!

Christina, That's Not True.
Oh, I Think It Is, Because I Had
A Piece Of Your Hair Tested.

What?

They Found Oxycontin, Heroin.

It's Like Rush Limbaugh
Fornicated With Amy Winehouse,

And They Spawned You.
You Had Me Tested?

Yes, I Did. Why, Have You Got
A Problem With That?

You Don't Understand.
Now Just Listen To--

Just Get Your Hands Off Me!

I Swear To God,

I Am This Close
To Calling Immigration

And Having You Deported.

(Laughs) Aye. Right.

Oh, What? You Don't Thinki Would Do It?

Just You Watch Me.

Yes! Papa.

Looki Made It
To The Next Level.

Would You Come Here
For A Second?

Uh, There...

There's Something
I Want To Ask You.

It's Important.

Okay, So Your Grandparents
Want You To Come Live
With Them In France.

Comprend?

Oui, Oui.

Um, Mais, Uh, Je Veux...

Que Tu, Uh,

Habite Avec Moi.

I-I-I Want You
To Live Here... With Me.

Look, I Guess...

I Guess What's
M-Most Important Here Is...

What Do You Want?

You... Are My Father.

And... I Want To Stay
With My Father.

Okay. Great. Uh...

Good.

So We'll Stay Together,

And, Um, And We're
Gonna Fight For That.

Come On. Let's See
How Good You Are.

Did You Get A Drink?

Are You Having Fun?

Betty,
You've Really Outdone Yourself.

This Party Is Beautiful.

You're Not Wearing
The Tiara.

(Scoffs) Oh, God, No.

I'm The Editor-In-Chief
Of A Fashion Magazine.

I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead
In A Tiara.

Right.
Of Course You Wouldn't.

Well, This Is For You.

It's My Two Weeks' Notice.

I Thought I Could Work For You,
But I Can't.

I Do Want To Be Successful,

Just...

Not By Hurting People.

I Really Misjudged You,
Betty.

Under Those Gaping Pores
And Caveman Eyebrows,

I Thought You Were Smart.

You Think Life Is All About
Who's Right And Who's Wrong,

But History Is Written
By Those Who Win,

Not By Those
Who Are The Nicest.

Enjoy Your Party.

Betty, Why Don't You Stay?

This Party Is About
To Get Very Interesting.

(Tony) Hello?

Hey, Tony. Are--Are You Here
Yet? 'Cause I Don't See You.

Oh, Hey... Bobby. Uh, Sorry
I Didn't Call You Back.

I Had A Family Thing
Come Up.

She Didn't Go Out Of Town?
You're Not Coming?

Yeah, That's Right.

Um, Can I Follow Up
With You Tomorrow?

Is She There With You Now?

Sure. Sounds Good. All Right,
We'll--We'll Talk Tomorrow.

Honestly, Alexis,

If This Is About A Bunch
Of Ridiculous Letters,

I Can Assure You--
This Isn't
Just About The Letters.

I'm Not Happy
With The Magazine.

I Think Your Cover Is Cold.

Well, I Had
A Very Specific Vision.

I Didn't Expect You
To Understand It.

Well, I Guess It Was Lost
On A Few Other People, Too.

Your First Day
Sales Numbers Are In...

And They're Not Good.
Impossible.

Your Relaunch Of "Mode" Is Our
Lowest Selling Issue In Months.

While You're Valued Here
As Our Creative Director,

I've Made A Decision.

If You'll Excuse Me.

Ladies And Gentlemen,
If I Could Have Your Attention.

I'm Happy To Announce That
Tonight We Are Welcoming Back

As Editor-In-Chief Of
"Mode" Magazine--Daniel Meade.

Betty.

Marc.

Well, Here We Are,

As If Nothing's Changed.

You Left Those Letters For Me,
Didn't You?

You Planned This Whole Thing
So That I Would
Be Back With Daniel

And You Could Have Wilhelmina
All To Yourself.

Oh. Don't Be Absurd.

I Would Never Do Anything
To Hurt
Wilhelmina's Interests...

Unless They're Hurting Mine.

Don't Forget. I Still Own
A Third Of This Company.

Your Unborn Child Owns A Third
Of This Company, Not You.

You Would Be Nothing
Without That Baby.

But Don't Worry. You're Still
Our Creative Director.

Yeah, And I'm More Than Happy
To Have You Come Work For Me.

You Can't Push Me Aside.

Oh, Really?

You Are Gonna Regret This.
I Swear.

Don't You Ever Threaten
My Children, Wilhelmina.

You Have No Idea The Lengths
I Will Go To Protect Them.

Look, Daniel, I'm Sorry.
Look, Betty,
I Never Wanted You To Leave.

I Would Never Even Consider
Working For That--
Me First. Please.

Um, Thank You...

For Having Faith In Me.

That's What Friends Are For.

You're Coming Back, Right?

Well, That Depends...

On Whether Or Not I Can Keep
The Raise Wilhelmina Gave Me.

??

It's Good To Have You Back,
Daniel.

It's Good To Be Back.

Now Seriously,
About The Raise--

You Know, Once You Go There,
You Can't Really Go Back.
(Laughs) Really?

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