Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 2, Episode 16 - Betty's Baby Bump - full transcript

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previously on "ugly betty"...

that would
make her el you have a secret husband?

- i'm sick.
- what are we talking about here?

$100,000 for
an experimental treatment.

we need to find
a surrogate we can control,

- someone who's desperate for money.
- we're almost done. have a look.

i really like this girl.

- i take these.
- if you think that's gonna make me

- want to be with you any
less, you're wrong.
- really?

- will you move in with me?
- i'm so sorry.

- i really thought i was getting better.
- i'm sorry, too.



charlie, i didn't even know
you were in town.

charlie's not feeling well,

so i'm gonna have
to take her to the doctor.

- hi.
- i thought you were at the doctor.

i think charlie was just trying
to ruin my night with betty.

i love you.
that's all that matters to me.

* i'll be loving you forever *

everything's so nice
and romantic.

to us, betty.

to us,

and to making the most of
the time we have left together.

yeah.

uh-oh. am i too early?

i am so sorry.



i swear, i stayed out
as long as i could.

really? 'cause you only left
15 minutes ago.

oh, i had no idea.
i can't wear a watch

because my arms are so bloated
from carrying your child, so...

oh, whoa.

what? are you okay?

oh, whoa, whoa.
um, so-so.

i just think my blood sugar
might be low.

- what do you need?
- some food.

- uh...
- oh, this will work.

what? uh...
mmm.

mmm. mmm.

she's a monster.

i mean, we're at the movies,
she calls ten times.

we're at dinner,

emergency text-
"i need flaxseed right away."

pregnant women
are difficult.

oh, please.
we're bitches.

plus she also
has it in for you,

'cause you did
steal her man.

wait.
she cheated on henry.

she didn't love him.
i love him,

and i've got three weeks
left with him,

and she is making it impossible
for us to spend time together.

well, what about lunchtime?
oh, i know.

you could rent one of these
"by the hour" hotel rooms.

free movies.

that's a good idea.

ooh.

not the smutty hotel room,
the lunch hour...

and i think charlie is busy
in her prenatal yoga class.

mm. that reminds me.

i've got the baby doctor
this afternoon.

it's the end
of the first trimester.

i just hope the doctor's
not gonna say

it's okay to go runnin'
or swimmin' or something.

hello?
are you listening to me?

yep-baby doctor,
trimester, hate exercising...

i have
lunch plans with henry.

where is she?

eating with betty.

oh, great.

we need the baby
to be healthy, not flabby.

don't worry.

we'll put it on a juice fast
the minute it pops out.

oh. listen, everything's gonna
check out okay with the doctor,

and then monday,
all hell will break loose

as the exiled queens
of "mode"...

- make their triumphant return.
- how are we doing on the press coverage?

i've pitched it

as a major
fashion world announcement,

so all the women-friendly
networks are in a lather.

"the view" is doing
a special live broadcast,

which they
never could've done

if potty-mouthed rosie
was still around.

good.
i want this moment.

i need this moment.

- all eyes on me...
- me.

you.

as i march up the steps
of the meade building.

it'll be
the greatest comeback since...

jesus.

blasphemous...

and sexy.

hey, what's goin' on?

uh, thought we had
a meeting with a photographer.

we did. amelie bissou,
she canceled.

photographers...
they are so flaky, huh?

yeah,
this flaky photographer

won't come out
of her bathroom

because someone...
who works at this magazine

slept with her
and never called.

what a jerk, huh?

oh, no. sh-she never gave me
her number.

ever since renee, you have
been on a downward spiral-

- out every night, missing meetings...
- we think you may need some
professional help.

you mean like a shrink?
no way. no. i'm fine.

the woman you fell in love with
almost killed your assistant

and burned
your apartment down.

you are not fine.
you need to talk to someone.

another voice could help.

entonces...

papi, i love you,
but your handwriting stinks.

what does this say?

well, there was a message
on the machine from coach diaz.

he wants to talk
to you about justin...

and this is perfect penmanship.
you need your eyes checked.

justin!
what does coach diaz want?

remember when i told you
that coach diaz is a total jerk

- and the meanest gym teacher
i've ever had?
- yeah, you told me.

- you told everybody.
- now he's gonna fail me in gym.

- what about all those notes i wrote
excusing you from class?
- he doesn't care.

he said that every student has
to fulfill a "p.e. requirement."

well, every student should...
but not you.

you're special.

coach diaz does not get me.

well, don't you worry.
he is gonna get you,

because my taxes pay his salary,
which means i'm his boss. 'kay.

hilda, i don't think
you paid any taxes last year.

so amelie bissou
is out of the bathroom,

and the photo shoot
is back on.

- that's great.
- it only took an
hour on the phone with her agent,

tripling her fee,

and you are not allowed
anywhere near the photo studio

- on the day.
- betty, you're the best.

daniel, i know
that part of my job

is following you around
and cleaning up your messes,

but ever since renee,

there just isn't
a pooper-scooper big enough.

- you've been talking to my mom and sister?
- as your unofficial, occasional thepist,

i think that it would be

a really good idea
for you to see somebody.

i am not gonna go see
a therapist.

- i am doing fine on my own, betty.
- according to reliable internet sources,

the definition
of an insane person-

"one who or that which
performs the same actions

over and over again
expecting different results."

insanity or optimism.

if you want things
in your life to be different,

you must do things differently.

therefore, if your instincts
are telling you

not to go to therapy,
then go to therapy.

your appointment's at 2:00
with dr. wallace.

i didn't say yes.

henry, you ready
for our lunch date?

um, i would be,
but charlie called,

and her
yoga partner canceled.

so i have to-

betty?

- you do realize she's doing
this on purpose, don't you?
- yes.

- she's trying to get in between us because
she hates me.
- no. no, no, no. she doesn't hate you.

look, betty, i'm sorry.

- i guess i hoped that you guys
could be friends.
- friends? friends?

how can i be friends
with her

when she is always trying
to get in between us,

- over and over and over again?
- i know.

she will never stop...

-unless...
- unless what?

unless
i do things differently.

hi.

where's henry?

he can't make it,

so i'm here
to be your yoga partner

and your friend.

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ugly betty 216

betty, no.

we can't be
yoga partners or friends.

charlie, don't you remember
when we first met?

i bought you a brownie.

charlie, we could go back to
those times, the brownie times.

look, brownie!

well, i've got
gestational diabetes,

so i could die if i ate that,
okay? but thank you.

welcome to baby bump yoga.

let's start
with downward dog.

so you're
having a natural childbirth.

- is that like a pool or a bathtub or
- go away. now.

shh!

good job, guys.

excuse me.
are you coach diaz?

yeah. can i help you?

you're the gym teacher?

yes, and you are?

- i am justin suarez' mother.
- i guess you heard he's failing.

i did hear, and i think
there's been a big mistake,

because i have been
sending notes

asking that justin be excused
from p.e., so...

you know, tell me,
when you were in school,

did you get excused
from math class with a note

- or english class?
- not officially because i would skip those,

but this is not math...
or english.

well, i believe
fitness and exercise

- are just as important.
- yes, but my justin is not really an athlete.

well, luckily you don't have
to be an athlete

to be in my class.

he just needs to show up,
make an effort.

okay, let's just...
get right to it.

if you fail justin,

i'm gonna talk
to the principal.

great. you should
swing by his office,

- schedule an appointment.
- hey, i am not joking here.

oh, neither am i.

ms. suarez, i have a master's
in wellness training.

i just happen to believe

that everyone can benefit
from a gym class, even you.

whoa. what is that
supposed to mean?

do not turn your back on me.

this is not over.
i pay your salary, coach diaz!

you know what?

i read that babies
born in water

have higher i.q.s
than the babies-

oh, my god. please stop.

- okay, partners. grab your mommy's waist.
- don't touch me. don't touch me.

don't touch me.
don't touch me. don't touch me.

- betty, don't touch me!
- but that's what she told me-

okay, you two
with the bad energy-out!

you're still touching me.

i'm sorry.

i know that your situation
at the moment is not ideal.

oh. oh,
it is far from ideal.

this weekend i was supposed
to be at home in tucson

having a baby shower
with my friends,

- so unless you want to-
- throw you a baby shower?

- what? - wasn't that what
you were just about to say?

- unless i want to throw you a baby shower?
- do you want to throw me a baby shower?

- um, yes.
- when?

tomorrow.

wow. you're not at all
what i expected.

when i heard
the name "dr. wallace,"

i thought
it would be a guy.

but then i thought,
no, don't be closed-minded.

it could be
an old lady, too.

- so what exactly are you hoping
to get out of therapy?
- a date?

have you been depressed?

nothing a drink with you
wouldn't cure.

- get out.
- wha-seriously?

i'm not in the business
of wasting my time with patients

who aren't prepared
to take therapy seriously.

when you're ready
to face up to your emotions

and talk about them
like an adult, you can return.

until then, good-bye.

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so?

everything's fine. the fetus
is healthy and growing,

- and you'll be giving birth in six months.
- so i can go back to work?

absolutely. you can work.
you can exercise-

let's just stick
with the work.

so is it safe to start
telling people we're pregnant?

sure. tell whoever you want-
friends, family...

- 400 members of the news media.
- thank you, dr. weiss.

christina, put your muumuu on.
we'll meet you in the lobby.

- oh, do you want a video of
the sonogram?
- uh, don't care.

marc,
call barbara at p.m.k.-

- pretty barbara, not
freckly barbara.
- on it.

quite a driven woman,
isn't she?

she's a bitch.

that, too.

oh. why does that say
"meade/slater baby"?

don't worry.
that's just for your file.

i'm sure
it must be strange

carrying the child
of a dead man.

betty.

- oh, henry.
- hey.

guess what?

for her shower, charlie wants
her favorite tamales

- from this place in tucson, and i
tracked them down.
- wait, her shower?

oh, yeah, i'm throwing
charlie a baby shower,

so that she'll see me
as a friend

and let you and i
spend more time together.

- you would do that?
- i am doing it.

- so get this-so escobar's-
do you know the place?
- yeah.

well, they won't ship
their tamales overnight-

- ruins the flavor-so i have to buy
them a seat on a plane.
- it sounds like that's a lot of work.

it is, but i don't mind.
it's for us,

and when you want
something bad enough,

you work harder.

oh.

oh, thank you
for calling me back.

it's escobar's. i have
to take this. oh, yeah.

so, um,
my first question is,

can the tamales fly coach?

look,
i'm sorry about before.

it's just, i...
i like to flirt.

and what do you get
out of flirting?

i don't know.

- is it approval?
- yeah, i guess.

feels good to be wanted?

guess i need that right now.

why?

there was this woman...

i just wanted so badly
for things to be different,

for meo...
find something... deeper.

instead i ended up
with nothing.

i think this is something
we should explore.

what is keeping her?

i'm due at sergio rossi
to pick out new work shoes.

oh, these scottish types-
no concern for time.

if tilda swinton says 7:30,

- do not expect her before 10:00.
- christina.

johan, pleascome to
the outpatient surgical center.

where is she?

maybe the bathroom?
ugh. these scottish types.

if tilda swinton
says she has to pee-

no. she knows
it's bradford's baby.

she's gone.

they're arriving
at laguardia on flight 47?

perfect. a messenger
will be waiting. thank you.

is it crazy that i'm flying
in tamales from tucson

because that's what charlie
wants to eat at her baby shower?

- okay, stop begging. i'll come.
- what?

- huh? i didn't say anything.
- you just said you'd come to the shower.

- why would i say i'd come to the shower?
- i don't know, amanda.

do you want
to come to the shower?

do i want to come
to the shower

for someone
i don't even know?

why would i do that?
what are you serving?

well, tamales, a bunch
of fun little appetizers,

and my dad
is making empanadas.

okay, well, that's crazy.

don't cancel the shower
just because i'm not coming.

let me see
what i can do.

he gave you detention?

gym detention.

what is "gym detention"?

it got invented today
for me.

i had to organize
the equipment room.

there were balls and bats.

it was like a nightmare
that would never end.

- this is all your fault.
- well, i was just trying to help you out.

you came to my school
and yelled at my teacher.

- what did you think would happen?
- okay, look. i can fix this.

please don't.

he might make me quarterback
of the hockey team or something.

hey. what if i change
my approach?

oh, my god, mom. no.

this is all getting
very "sweeney todd" now.

so, christina,

i would love
to sit and chat

and clear up
this whole misunderstanding.

call me.

i'm worried sick about you.

even i didn't believe that.

well, you are
your toughest critic.

what a screwup.

remind me to get that
stupid doctor's license revoked.

done. by the time
we're through with him,

he'll be neutering dogs
in buffalo.

this is bad, marc.

if she disappears,

if that baby disappears,
we've got nothing.

no baby means
no return to "mode,"

means no future
for either of us.

oh, willie, why can't things
just be easy for once?

on the surface,
our plans are rock solid,

and we're both so attractive.

perhaps that's our curse,
marc-

that and our humanity.

i was
so stupid to trust her!

there's no way
you could've known.

stuart, this is the worst thing
that could happen.

oh.

or is it the best thing?

no, i'm serious.

we know that she was willing to
pay all that money for this...

- yeah.
- enough for my operation.

so?

so maybe she'll pay more.

you're thinking she's got you.
i say you've got her.

- when that thing inside you
- stuart that "thing" is going to be a baby.

well, she needs it,

and when
people need something,

that makes them weak.

yeah.

okay, what just happened?

i looked over at you,

- and there was a silence, and
the next thing i know
- you kissed me.

- no, no, no, you kissed me.
doctor, you lunged at me
- because you seduced me.

- i didn't do anything.
- oh, you can't help it.

- you're a seducer. that's what you do.
- but it's not working for me anymore.

who are you calling?

my shrink.

but i-look, i'm so sorry.

- i- i promise, i'll pay you for this.
- and now i feel like a whore. super.

- derrick, i need to see you right away.
i'm coming over now.
- i'm the one who needs help.

- you showed me this. what am i
supposed to do now?
- i don't know.

you're not my problem anymore.
you're an animal.

leave, please.

go out, find women
and ruin their lives.

uh, listen, ms. suarez,

it's very nice of you
to offer to cut my hair,

but i'm happy
just to talk about justin.

it's-it's my job.

oh, please, it's nothing.
it's nothing. here.

it's just my way of saying
we got off on the wrong foot.

you know,
and i-i didn't mean anything

about you needing
a gym class.

you got a great body.

not that i was looking
at your body.

oh, yeah, right. right.

i mean, you're the parent,
i'm the teacher.

i mean, i'm the parent.

oh, gosh, sorry. i just-
i get a little bit worked up

- over justin sometimes.
- hey, don't worry about it.
it's your kid. i get it.

look, if it makes
you feel any better,

i swear to you
that i would never do anything

to embarrass him.

thank you. that does
make me feel better.

mm.

you were gonna-

oh, yeah.

okay.
this is a great place.

- oh, thank you. yeah, we just o
- oh!

aah!

- oh, my god! let me see.
- no! uh, no. tha-i-it's okay.

- let me get some alcohol.
- oh, wow.

- here.
- that's nail polish remover.

- yeah, but it-it-it sanitizes.
- it's okay. don't worry about it.
i'm fine, okay?

- i'm just gonna go bleed at home.
- oh.

oh, man.

oh. ugh. hilda.

um, no. no, i'm looking
at the plates right now.

they are definitely not
what i ordered.

these have father time
on them-

father time, not a baby.

he has a beard.

look, i'm sorry
i'm being such a pain.

i am generally
a much nicer person.

i just-

my fault.

i know.

i'm sorry, mrs. meade.

oh, betty, it's fine.

it's a purse, not a baby.

once in nantucket,

i dropped daniel
in a bucket of ice,

landed on his head.

okay.

uh, well,
he should be fine now.

i got him
to see the therapist.

- i heard. thank you for that.
- oh, don't worry about it.

just another one
of the many things

i had to do today.

- betty, when are you
going to stop?
- i can't.

i agreed to throw
this last-minute baby shower

- for charlie, henry's pregnant ex-girlfriend.
- oh, right. that ordeal.

something i have to do
to spend time with henry.

i mean, he's leaving
in three weeks and-aah. ow!

why did you do that?

to get your attention.
wake up, betty.

this relationship you are in
has no future,

and the sooner
you realize that,

the sooner you'll get back
to living your life,

instead of planning
babyhowers

for your boyfriend's
ex-girlfriends.

henry, it's over.

ugh. it just
doesn't sound right.

i mean, this is henry.
i don't want it to be over.

this jacket makes me
look like a nerd.

why do you need to apologize
to this guy in person?

i can't just call
coach diaz.

i nearly maimed him
for life.

and justin needs
to pass gym, so...

now i look
like a slutty nerd.

i don't think this
has anything to do with justin.

what are you talking about?
oh, come on, hilda.

first, you pick
a fight with this guy.

then you invited him over
for a haircut?

you know what this is?

this is hector reale
from ninth grade all over again.

that is ridiculous.

i did not give hector reale a
haircut. i know what you gave him.

come on, hilda.

you totally like
this coach guy.

what's his name?
coach diaz.

what's his first name?

coach?

well,
you should fix that,

'cause it's gonna sound
really weird

when you guys are kissing

and you're all like,
"ooh, coach. ooh."

shut up! stop talking
about it. "oh, coach."

there's not gonna be
any kissing.

ay, you're getting me
all freaked out. hilda.

i don't know, betty.
i just-

i felt something
when i was talking to him,

and it was just
the first time since santos.

you have a crush...

mm.

and i have henry.

check us out.

who is that?
i don't know.

it's-it's not time.
we're not ready.

we need to talk.

all we've been doing lately
is obsessing

about how little time
we have ft together.

i know, and it's horrible,

and it so stressful
for the both of us,

and i-i don't-i-

that's why i'm here.

i think there's only
one thing to do. oh, god.

we have to
stay together forever.

oh! that's not what
i thought you were gonna say,

but i like it! go on.

my cousin lance just got
a new job at transwest airlines.

he says i can use
his friends and family discount.

i have to do his taxes
for 20 years,

but i can see you every
other weekend. really?

and-and once in a while, you can come out
and see me. or we could meet in the middle.

yes. yes.
god, i love you.

the middle just happens
to be springfield, missouri,

a.k.a.
queen city of the ozarks,

renowned throughout america
for having

the most varied weather in
the natn. i love weather.

i know you do.

and in the meantime,

we can call or-or e-mail
or video chat.

it-it's the 21st century.

we can see each other
every day if we want to.

wow. you really thought
about this.

you're the most important thing
in my life.

oh, god. is 11:00.
charlie-her baby shower.

oh. i guess it's too late
to call it off.

are you kidding?
now it's even more important.

charlie will be
part of my life forever.

charlie,
welcome to your baby shower.

henry.

i was just leaving.
you ladies have fun.

bye.

i'm late because
your directions were messed up.

oh.

wow. i don't remember
your house being so small.

something smells
really funny.

come on in.

stuart.

hello, christina.

how did you find me?

i called her. it was the
right thing, christina.

you don't have
a lot of options.

nyet options.

but what stuart was
savvy enough to recognize

is you do have power.

i need this baby, christina,

and i will pay to ensure
you follow through with this.

what do you want?

nothing.

christina-

no. don't.

she'll be back.

she has nowhere else to go.

thank you.

thanks.

welcome... amanda.

calm down. i can only stay
for, like, five minutes.

i have a million things
to do today.

what's that?

uh, shrimp empanadas
in mole sauce.

my dad made 'em
this morning.

mm.

it's pretty good.
wish i didn't have to leave.

is there more?

betty? hey, betty?

yes?

what is that?

oh, uh,
that is a pi?Ata.

i thought it would be really fun. well,
the plastic lining chokes the birds

that feed at the landfills.
oh, uh-

and i'm sorry,

but are these vegetables
fresh cut?

because they sure
don't look like it.

um, well,
i could cut some now.

that'd be great.

why is everyone
so fat at this party?

betty, you don't seem
like you're having much fun.

yeah, well,
i just gotta let that go,

because i'm the one who decided
to throw charlie this party.

besides, henry and i
have found a way

to make it work
long-distance.

long-distance?

dad, i know that voice.

the skeptical,
i- know-better-than-you voice

that you trot out every time
you think i'm making a mistake,

and hilda used to get it
more often.

look, i'm sure
you have a great plan.

all i'm saying is that
long-distance is no replacement

for spending time together.

henry will be back and forth
all the time.

he said i was the most
important thing in his life.

amor, the thing is,
he's having a baby,

and once you're a parent,

nothing's ever the same.

it'll be hard work,
but we can do it.

daniel.
can i borrow some money?

what are you doing here?

uh, therapy, uh,
didn't exactly work out.

uh, y-yeah. i can see that.
what happened?

i slept with her.
then i went out.

i met this girl at a club,

went back to her apartment,
where i met her roommate,

who took me out
to another club,

where i met
these russian ballerinas.

they turned out
to be strippers,

and i woke up
somewhere in queens,

um, and i lost my wallet.
betty.

christina. um, i really
need to talk to you.

um-
is there soy milk?

and why do these plates have an
old man on them? ugh. uh, um, okay.

uh, daniel,
borrow cab fare from my dad.

dad, go to the market.
get soy milk.

christina, upstairs now.

sounds like you had,
uh, quite a night.

yeah.

wanna take a walk?
sure.

good. come on.

and i-i don't know
what to do.

betty, she's done this
to me before,

and i can't believe
i've been so stupid.

okay, first of all,
stop blaming yourself.

ohh.
this is wilhelmina.

this is what she does.
she uses people.

i know, i know,
and that i can cope with.

but this time, it's not just me.
there's gonna be a baby.

christina, there is a difference
between you and her.

oh, is there?

yes,
you are a good person.

really?

really.

betty!
are there tamales or not?

ugh.

i'll be right there!

she is annoying.

you know what they say

about pregnant women
being so beautiful?

well, i have a question.

what if u're already
really beautiful?

is it possible
to become too beautiful?

i mean, is it dangerous?
could you hurt someone?

ladies, straight
from tucson, arizona-

especially for charlie-

escobar's famous
green corn tamales!

ooh!

no. charlie?

here. take that.

this isn't the right tamale.

yes, it is.
i think i would know, betty.

those are from escobar's.
they wouldn't even ship them,

so i had to have them flown out.
then they got ruined on the plane.

they flew first-class.
well, they're soggy.

you know what, charlie?

i have broken my back to try
and make this shower happen.

yeah, well, maybe that's
the way you want it to look.

no, that is the way it is.

this isn't
what i wanted, betty.

well, i'm sorry that this isn't
good enough for you, charlie,

but i have worked
really hard,

and now i feel stupid for even
trying to be nice to you

when you have been
such a jerk.

and i don't know why

i'm letting your crabby
littlettitude get to me,

because henry and i
have already decided that

we're gonna be together even
after he goes back to tucson,

whether you like it or not!

what? nothing to say?

no. my water just broke.

um, are you sure
your water broke?

either that
or i just peed my pants.

okay, i see
how you're playing this.

i remember
last new year's eve,

i was so drunk
that my water broke, too.

ohh!
aah. uhh.

oh, i just had a contraction.
good idea. stick with your story.

um, okay. uh, all right.
um, everything's gonna be okay.

just, uh, sit. sit down
and-and try to relax. okay.

breathe.
okay.

hi.

hi. how's your ear?

eh, just a couple
of stitches.

the good news is, it doesn't
stick out as far anymore.

i'm so sorry,

and i-i totally hear you
about gym class,

so maybe justin should go.
maybe i could meet you halfway.

what do you have in mind? he helps
choreograph the cheerleading routines

for the rest of the year,
he passes.

think he'd be into that?
are you kidding?

he calls espn
"the cheerleading channel."

he's gonna love it. wow.

thank you, coach diaz.

you're welcome.

hey, um, what's
your first name, anyway?

tony.
i'm hilda.

nice to meet you, hilda.

you, too.

you know, daniel,
when i was a young man,

i was a lot like you.

well, maybe
not as much like you

as i would have liked,

but it wasn't until
i felt good about myself

that i met someone special.

so what happened?

mole happened.

is that a girl?

no.

it's a sauce that
everyone makes with chilies

and garlic and peppercorns
and chocolate and broth,

and that's how
i would make it.

until one day i thought,

i wonder how molasses
would make this taste.

so i add molasses,

serve it to my boss,

eyes pop out of his head-

the best thing
he's ever tasted,

and i say, "i know."

'cause i knew
that it was special, unique.

so what, you want me
to cook something?

no way.

cooking was my passion.

it changed the way i felt.

what makes you
feel good about yourself?

you're right.
i don't have any options.

so i've decided
to take you up on ur offer.

there is something
that i want from you.

and what is that?

this is the heartbeat
of the child that i'm carrying.

i want you to watch it,

and for once
in your monstrous life

for you to think
about someone else,

because this baby
is not just some instrument

for whatever wicked game it is
that you're playing.

it's your child, and what
i want from you is a promise

that you will love this baby,

and you will give it
everything that it needs.

ohh, god,
this really hurts!

does it hurt?

i just said
that it does.

you know, a few years ago,
i had some work done on my nose.

it was not a nose job.

everybody thought
it was a nose job,

but it was just
to fix some breathing-

had to get it done,
not a nose job-

and it was so painful. it was just like childbirth.

i'm sorry. are you gonna be here the whole time?

whatever you need,

because i know
what you're going through.

okay, well,
i'm kind of thirsty, so...

mm, that reminds me-
i am starving.

okay, guys,
uh, thanks for coming.

i just left henry a message.
he must be in the subway. okay.

oh! oh, yes. taxi's here.

come on. let's get you to the hospital.
no, no, no, no, no, not a hospital. no.

i'm going to a birthing center.
i have a midwife.

you know, i want to do this
all natural. no drugs.

i want to feel everything!
oh, god!

okay, uh, well, then let's
get you to the birthing center.

we just need to get you out
the door and in the cab. okay.

look, you're doing it.

you're doing it.
you're doing it.

i'm doing it. ohh, god!
i'll call your midwife.

no, don't do that!
why?

because i don't want her
to hear me say this-

i want the drugs.
what?

i want the drugs, betty.
call the hospital.

call the ambulance.
i want the drugs!

okay.
ohh!

um, 9-1-1,
we have a woman in labor.

aah!

she wants the drugs.

oh, my god.

i don't want to be here
when that thing pops out of her.

bye.

betty,
is the ambulance here?

any second.

okay. okay, and henry?

he's on his way.

mm. mm.

hold my hand.

what?

hold my hand.

why'd you do it, betty?

why did you
throw me a shower?

because you're away
from home, stranded-

oh, betty, that is bull!

ow! okay,
maybe that's not why.

maybe i did it because i thought
that if i was friendlier,

you would stop
getting in the way

of henry and i so much.

i'm sorry, betty.
i am so sorry.

t do you know how hard it was
watching the guy that i love

falling in love
with somebody else?

is that why
you cheated on him?

charlie, i'm so sorry.

no, no, no,
it's not your fault. i just...

i never thought it would
be like this, you know?

i never thought i'd be
having a baby... alone.

no. no, no, no,
you're not alone.

hurry. right in here.

oh, thank god. they're here.
the ambulance is here.

okay, okay.

what do you do with these?
where do you begin?

i see exactly what you mean.
the photos just sit there. yes.

they need a point of view.
mm-hmm.

can i weigh in?

you look like hell.

yeah, i know.

ooh.
these are not very good.

no. no.

we could saturate the colors,
make 'em pop,

that way we focus on the outfits
instead of the models... mm-hmm.

so it's strictly about the
fashion. yeah, that's great.

i was also thinking,

we always put the photo essays
in the back of the book.

why don't we move 'em
in the front?

you know,
stir things up a little.

well, look at you.
what happened, daniel?

i realized something.

i mean, i'm always looking
for meaning in my life

everywhere but the place
i can actually find it-

right here.

i love this job.

i'm sorry, ma'am,
but you're over 9 centimeters.

i don't think it's a good idea to
move you. here. i'll get some towels.

oh, god,
this really hurts.

i know, but you're
too far along for the drugs.

it's gonna be
the old-fashioned way.

oh, the old-fashioned way,
just like you wanted.

oh, shut up, betty!

ow!

oh, oh, i'm sorry.

oh, i'm sorry. you know
i don't really mean that.

i just can't believe i'm having
a baby in your living room.

it's okay. it's okay.
it's okay, charlie.

charlie?

henry? oh, thank you so much, betty.

henry, henry, henry.
d, you have no idea.

betty's kept me
from totally freaking out.

oh, my god. oh, my god.
this is really happening.

okay. it's gonna be okay.
it's gonna be okay.

um, um, here.

no, no, no, no, no. stay, betty.
stay if you want. stay.

yeah, betty, please stay.
no... you're gonna be okay.

aah.
okay.

okay. okay.

it's good to
have you back, daniel.

to work.

to meade publications.

to family.

what the hell is that?

that is a sonogram
of my baby,

of your father's baby.

what are you talking about?
i'm having your father's child.

oh, dear god.

and i want you to know,

my only concern
is protecting this baby

and giving it everything
it deserves.

yeah,
and what would that be?

one-third
of the meade empire.

oh, my god.
ohh!

here you go, sweetie.
no.

wow.
this turned out to be

one hell
of a baby shower.

it's a boy.

ohh.
oh.

congratulations.

oh, thanks.

you're a papa now.

oh, felicidades.

* remember when you left? *

* yeah, you had your own rules about playing the game *

* and any day you could walk away *

our baby.

* feeling no pain *

* now look at yourself *

* yeah, you're all hung up on somebody else *

* and in your eyes i see all the signs *

* of the misery *

* ooh *

* you used to be so proud *

* now your head's a little lower *

* and you walk a little slower *

* and you *

* don't talk so loud *

* now you've gotten wise *

* yeah, you know how love *

* can build you up one moment *

* and t next,cut you down to size *

* down to size *

* and then you discover *

* all she told you was a bunch of lies *

* didn't you know you'd have to cry sometime? *

* oh *

* cry sometime *

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