Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 1, Episode 4 - Fey's Sleigh Ride - full transcript

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I made a terrible mistake.

Did you realize this before
or after Gina dumped you?

It's his H.M.O.
They're not gonna cover dad anymore.

Got a weird call
from some woman.

She said to ask you about
Bayonne scrape yard?

I haven't the foggiest.

As long as there's this wedge
between the two of them,

their relationship is doomed.

Perhaps it's time I drive
that wedge a little deeper.

# Can I get, get, get #

# To know, know, know, know you #



# Better, better, baby #

Wow, this is so cool.

I've always wanted to come to
networking night at the Rack.

And, oh, look!
There's free grilled cheese.

Okay, ground rules.

Stop with the chatty,

don't stand so close to me,

and no one eats
the grilled cheese.

She's having one.

Well, of course Fat Carol is eating one.
What do you expect?

Anyway, so how does this work?

You have to work the room.

"Work the room"?

Circulate, baby.
Introduce yourself.



We want everyone to meet you.

Okay. Wish me luck.

Bye.

I'm sorry.

It--it--it's my first time.

More classic moments for
Betty's wall of shame.

Hi. Excuse me.

We haven't officially met.
Um, I'm Betty Suarez.

I work at "Mode," too.

I always thought I'd
be good at your job.

How long do you
think you'll last?

Well, unless you know something
that I don't, a while, I hope.

That's too bad.

You know, I love that you're
having a grilled cheese.

Most people at
"Mode" don't eat.

Sometimes they shouldn't.

Just a minute.

Carlo Medina. I work with the
editor in chief at "Isabella."

Oh, Betty Suarez,
assistant to Daniel Meade at "Mode."

Oh, I know who you are.

You're a legend.

Housekeeping swears they
haven't seen a red music box.

Any luck?

Does it look like
I've had any luck?

Daniel and Wilhelmina
are still waiting for you

to sign off on the
holiday spread.

What?

Oh.

Keep looking.

Seem to be a lot of layers.
I'd like to see more skin.

It's a postnuclear scene. Exposed
skin would melt off their bodies.

My bad.

I understand you have a
holiday spread for me.

Yeah. Yes, we do.
We think you're gonna like it.

In this world of global
warming and political unrest,

we give you a
postapocalyptic Christmas.

A "Mad Max-mas" if you will.

I discovered this designer
out of Vietnam-- Anh Vu-Tran--

so hot,
no one in the states knows about her.

She's doing an exclusive line
of flak jackets just for us.

We got all the props and
equipment on hold for thursday.

We just need to
pull the trigger.

So let's walk you
through the mock-ups,

show you what we have in mind.

Yeah, sounds good.

Uh, I have to get
back upstairs.

He was disturbed?

He looked very disturbed.

Mm. He should.

He got sloppy.

And we got...

a music box.

Sorry I'm late!

I hope you guys didn't
wait for me to eat dinner.

What are you doing here?

- Tuesday's tamale night.
- We broke up.

Walter always comes
on tamale night.

He cheated on me. I'm not sure
I'm ready to just jump back in.

It's tamale night.

Betty, I didn't raise
you to be rude to guests.

Now we saved you some tamales.

Okay. Thank you. I'm starving.

I went to this really
cool work thing tonight,

except it's not
professional to eat, so

I just had a mango margarita.

Here you go.

Hey.

Dad, you know what
the doctor said.

You can't have coffee.

Anyway, so I spent the entire
evening just networking

and giving out my
business cards.

- What?
- What? Nothing.

It's just, I find it interesting.
You're drinking now. Okay.

You used to get woozy
from your astringent.

Anyway, it was really fun,

and I finally felt
like I belonged.

- You're a legend.
- Me?

You saved the Fabia layout
in your first week.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
It didn't happen like that.

I've slaved away for years, and I'm
not even trusted to pick out a belt.

What is your secret?

Um... just, uh, doing my job.

And she's modest, too.

What are you drinking?

Um...

uh, mango margarita?

Oh, you should have seen her.
She was so gross.

All she did was talk about
herself the entire night.

Yeah, that doesn't
sound like Betty.

Ugh. Well, get a drink in her,
and it is the Betty show.

She would not shut up,
bragging about the Fabia layout.

It was all Daniel's vision.

It'd be really wrong for me to
take any credit for the layout.

Wow. An assistant who doesn't
trash-talk their boss.

I know.
Trash-talking is what I do best.

Well, second best.

It's really easy when
you have a good boss.

You know, I'm really,
really lucky to work for Daniel.

And she was clueless as
to how to handle herself.

Shock.

You should have seen when she
pulled out her business cards.

I just got 'em today.

I don't usually carry
entire boxes in my purse.

Well, not since kleenex came
out with the travel size.

No, they did.

Tragic.

They're laughing at you,
Betty, not with you.

Poor cow has no idea
we only invited her

so people could see
she really exists.

She's like the real
life Snuffleupagus....

- only hairier.
- Marc!

What did you find out
that's useful to me?!

No choice gossip?

No dirt to help me destroy
any lesser magazine?

Uh, I, uh,
I'll do better next time.

Do you know how many curly-haired,
effete sycophants there are

waiting to replace you?

I know.
You have five of them on speed dial.

Don't make me call.

Anyway, it was an
amazing night.

Are you gonna eat that?

Oh, right. I forgot.

You probably need it
to soak up the booze.

You know what?
You'd be perfect for my school project.

What school project?

They gave us an assignment
today to write a paper

about someone whose
job we admire.

We get the whole day off
tomorrow to go observe them.

Can you take me to "Mode"?

Yeah, of course,
if it's okay with your mom.

You know,
the fashion world isn't that great.

It's a bunch of self-serving,
shallow tramps

who starve themselves and backstab
each other for expensive clothes,

no self-respecting person
would be caught dead in.

So can I go?

Well, don't say I
didn't warn you.

Oh, my god. You're a celebrity!

The Meade security
guard knows your name!

Oh, look,
here are some of my friends.

Just because we're sharing an
elevator doesn't mean we're friends.

Marc, Amanda,
this is, uh, Justin.

Oh, so that's pregnancy weight.

No, um, he's my nephew.

Oh, my god.

Manolo Blahniks, spring 2004!

Wearing two-year-old shoes.

Even I didn't catch that.

Definitely not your son.

I got nothin'! I hate this.

Don't take it out
on the furniture.

It's late october. I got to shoot
the holiday spread this week...

- It's the tube!
- Shh, Justin!

- Sorry.
- Go sit at my desk.

It's right there.

I went to go get
the tanks--gone!

I went to book
the models-- gone!

I went to gethe burned
out Christmas trees--gone!

"Isabella" took them
all out from under us.

- Calm down.
- How can I calm down

when somebody leaked our ideas?

"Isabella" magazine literally
stole our entire feature spread!

Oh, my god.

C-Carlo Medina.

He bought me a drink.

Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team

www.forom.com

"Isabella" magazine is doing
a postapocalyptic Christmas.

They copied our entire concept.

They didn't just copy it.
They took it.

The holiday issue is our biggest
source of ad revenue for the year.

We lose advertisers.

Our circulation
goes in the toilet.

Which is precisely why "Mode"
does not tolerate leaks.

Now I will give the
guilty party one chance

to come forward and confess.

Did any of you speak to
anyone at "Isabella"?

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Well, then, cowards,
we'll do it the hard way.

Everyone is considered guilty

and will be treated as such

until there's a confession.

But by noon on thursday,
someone's head will roll.

See who entered and
exited the building.

I left Fey's music box on my desk,
and now it's gone.

Investigate everyone.

You have to find
out who took it.

Why didn't you burn it
with the other things?

I couldn't.

That music box is personal.

But it connects you to Fey.

It could provide a motive.

Who knows about the affair?

No one.

No one but my wife.

We have two days to
conceive and execute

an entirely new concept.

If any of you have any plans,
I need you to cancel 'em.

I want everyone working
together to pull this off.

What Daniel's trying to say is
kiss your loved ones good-bye

and expect to come
home to dead pets.

Schmoopy.

Well, what are you waiting for?

You kicked me with your
two-year-old shoes!

Have something to be
nervous about, Carol?

I ate half a bagel.

All three of us talked to Carlo
Medina from "Isabella" last night.

What exactly did you tell him?

Not that much.

So you can tell me,

is Daniel Meade a
complete incompetent

or more like a slow-but-cute
younger brother?

Neither.

Daniel is a lot smarter
than people think he is.

Really? I just find that
so hard to believe.

Okay, well, like thursday,
we have our feature shoot--

a postapocalyptic Christmas.
It's really cool.

We rented tanks,
and it was all Daniel's idea. Tanks.

Ooh, Betty. Too bad.
It looks like you're the leak.

Oh, well.
You didn't really fit in here anyway.

- Ta.
- Wait, no!

All I mentioned were tanks.

You guys talked to him, too.

Yeah, what did you
talk to Carlo about?

Okay, first of all,
he talked to me.

To assistants.

What are you doing
here all alone?

That's not like you.

I just don't understand it.
She's like Liza at the pride parade.

Betty, Betty, Betty!

Oh, they just want to hear about the
postapocalyptic Christmas spread.

Is she taking credit for that?

Wilhelmina's the one who
found the flak jackets.

There's this hot new designer,
Anh Vu-Tran--

gonna be huge!

You featuring anyone else?

Oh, when you've got the best,

you can forget the rest.

Okay, so we have tanks
and flak jackets.

I'm guessing the cosmo fountain
might have spilled something, too.

I had one drink.

Unlike the two of you,
I was actually trying to figure out

what was going on
at "Isabella."

So what are you guys doing
for your holiday issue?

Oh, the usual--boring.

I'm much more interested
in hearing about you...

and your magazine.

Well, since you ask,
"Mode" is using one of my ideas.

Do you know "Planet
of the apes"?

I dressed as Dr.
Zaius one Halloween.

Mm. Well,
we're doing the statue of liberty scene,

but with Santa buried half in the sand,
holding up a new year's baby.

I only know the movie
'cause I dated a geek once.

Maybe you will again.

Buy you another drink?

Yes.

Carlo's straight?

So I guess this means all three of us
need to go to Wilhelmina and confess.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Have you been smoking
one of your ponchos?

There's nothing to confess.
We don't know it was us.

How can you say that?

We told three tiny
parts of a giant shoot.

How'd "Isabella" find out about
the burned out Christmas trees

or the scrap metal reindeer?

That must have
been someone else.

We have to keep quiet and hope
that the real leaker is found.

No. I can't do that.

Look, I won't say
anything about you guys,

but I need to
confess what I did.

There were only a few people
from "Mode" at the Rack.

If you say the leak happened there,
it'll draw a line straight to us.

Even if it does,
they can't fire all of us.

Can't they?

Photo department, 2003--

got axed for mentioning the
words "sepia tones" at a party.

Well, look,
I just--I don't like lying.

Neither do I.

Okay, that's a lie,
but we're just asking you to omit.

It's like a secret--
our secret.

Look, you are one
of us now, Betty--

the assistants club.

We have to protect each other.

Well, I mean, I guess keeping quiet is
better than getting you guys fired.

Then we're agreed?

Yeah, okay.

We're all in this together.

Maybe she's different now,
you know?

Fancy job and drinking...

You cheated on her.

I know, I know.
God, why did I do that?

Very, very sorry about that.

It's just--I...

I love her.

I can fix that.

Oh, wait a minute.
You like it in spanish.

Oh, you know, many years ago,

I had a fight with,
um, Betty's mother--

a big one.

She banned me from
our bed for a week.

Ouch.

I knew I had to do
something good.

So I thought of her favorite movie,
"Pretty woman,"

and I stole a page
from Richard Gere.

What do you mean?
Like... you paid her?

No.

I did the scene from the
end of the movie, Walter,

when he climbs up the fire escape
and declares his love for her.

Wait a minute.
That--that's not supposed to happen.

Well...

it worked like a charm.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know if a big, romantic
gesture will work on the new Betty.

There is no new Betty.

Just new surroundings.

Betty is the same.

I guess you're right.

- Did you do that?
- Uh, no.

That's actually the phone.

Hello?

This is Anne Frazier from
mercer park regional H.M.O.

I'm just calling to confirm
your 2:00 appointment.

Actually, uh...
that's a mistake.

Uh, I don't--I don't
need to come in.

Are you sure?

A Betty Suarez called
at least 25 times.

No. It won't be necessary.

Well, it sounded like you have
some pretty legitimate claim.

No. Thank you.

Sorry.

What are you gonna tell him?

What are you gonna tell?

You know, we might be better off
not saying anything to Bradford.

Mm. You sure that's
a good idea?

Dad's approved every
holiday spread since 1986.

Well, as the top two people here,
we need to protect each other.

And even though it wasn't our
fault that there was a leak,

we'll both be blamed if we
admit it before we have a fix.

Okay.

This will be our secret.

We'll work with each other...

to fix it.

I'll start with the leak.

I'll tackle the new spread.

Perfect.

We're in this together.

Are you as creeped out as I am?

More.

Oh, there you are.

Here I am.

I want you to call the agency.
Tell them the concept is changing.

I want you to get the wardrobe we
rejected, and I want to see it again.

Dig up the back holiday issues
of for the last 50 years,

photocopy the feature spreads,
distribute them to the editors.

Do you work here?

Someday.

This is my nephew.
Um, he's just doing a school--

- Amanda.
- Yes?

We need you to get
snacks and water.

Flat and sparkling,
half cold, half room temp,

and when you get back with those,
we'll need to get lunches

because no one is
leaving this building.

But who's gonna
answer the phones?

Get an intern.

Please, let it be
Narciso Rodriguez.

Daniel Meade's office.

Daniel Meade, please.

It's her.

I told her I'm not taking her
calls till she tells me who she is.

I'm sorry,
unless I can say who's calling,

I'm gonna have to
take a message.

Oh, well, then

tell Daniel we both know his
father's been acting very strangely.

He's a man of many secrets,

and one of them is
in the music box.

"In the music box"?
I have no idea what that means.

It'll come to you, dear.

So tell me who you
know at "Isabella."

You don't have any reindeer?

What about a big goat?

Wait hold on.
I have another line.

Hello?

Styles just came out.
They still have jobs.

- That's good.
- That's horrendous.

But features goes in at noon.

Pray.

Hello?

Features went in at 12:00,
came out at 12:20.

They're still employed.

Hello?

Oh. One second.

- Marc?
- Photo editors cleared.

Accessories cleared.
Art department cleared.

Well, how many
departments are left?

Beauty and accounting.

Well, you know those virgins
in accounting didn't do it.

We'll hope the
sluts in beauty did.

Good luck.

I want to strangle
that filthy rat

- that leaked the spread.
- This dress is fabulous.

I bet it was that bitch,
skinny Carol.

I think I'd belt it.

That, young man,
is vintage Valentino.

- I'm just saying.
- Really? Do you think?

Go on then.
Go on to the accessory closet.

Get a belt,
and we'll see what it looks like. Go on.

Wait. Hurry back.
We gotta go get dinners.

Oh, leave him here.
He's having fun. He's all right.

Really?

Yeah. Besides, I got some elf
costumes I need to fit later on,

and little people sort
of make me nervous.

Well, thank you.

Okay. No.

Betty.

Me?

Could I have a moment, please?

Um, did I do something wrong?

Daniel's been receiving nuisance
phone calls from a strange woman.

I assume you listen in?

Yes, sir. Um...

she wouldn't tell
us who she is.

Well, we think she might be a designer
we fired a couple of years ago.

She threatens to sue
from time to time.

Has she called recently?

Yes, yes,
this morning actually.

Um... it didn't
make much sense.

Still, I'd like to know exactly

what she said for
certain legal reasons.

Uh, well, she said that, uh,
you've been acting very strangely,

and you have many secrets,
and one of them is in the music box.

Music box?

Did she say where this
music box might be?

No. I-I asked her.

Um... she wouldn't say anything.
She's not very forthcoming.

Well, she's certainly
intent on wasting our time.

Excuse me!

Wilhelmina's dinner.

Beauty cleared.

What are we supposed to do?

That depends.
Did you hit the powerball last night?

- No.
- Then keep quiet.

Hey!

It's not yours.

Here's your dinner.

- You must be starving.
- Thanks.

You know what?
You can take off.

I'm sure your nephew is sick
of the closet by now anyway.

You worked hard today.

Okay.

You know what, Daniel?
I have something to say.

The night before the leak,
I was at the Rack,

and I was talking to a
guy from "Isabella"--

You know what, Betty?

I don't really have time to
hear about this right now.

You told me not to hide
things from you, Daniel.

Listen to me.

I don't have to know
about everything.

Especially if knowing about it
means I'd end up losing you.

So... have a great night.

I got your favorite
salad--endive and arugula.

No dressing,
but I did get a few extra lemon slices

because, well,
you've earned them.

Is that fris?e?

No, no.

They were?

You'll notice I ripped your
lettuce into bite-sized pieces

and decobbed your baby corn.

Interesting.

Thank you.

Was Carlo Medina from "Isabella"
at the Rack last night?

Hmm?

There's also a product closet,

like, with moisturizers
and hair balms

and there's ten
different kinds of--

Justin, why don't you put all
of that stuff in your paper?

Fine.

Is somebody gonna get that?

I guess not.

Ew. Wilhelmina wants to
see us at 10:00 tomorrow.

She knows.

Oh, my god.
I have that same Jesus night-light.

So this is very...
flea market chic.

Ah, these must be your friends from,
uh, "The Mode."

Just "Mode," dad.

Um, this is my father
Ignacio and my sister Hilda.

Ho-la.

It's, uh, "hola."

No.

There's an "h" in it.

Betty?

This lotion is made from
crushed diamonds and...

Hey, guys.
I didn't know you were here.

Nice. You stole the good stuff.

Justin.

Homework.

Oh, um...
Amanda, those are plastic.

Ew.

Betty, maybe we should
offer your friends a snack.

We have flan.

What's a flan?

It's a delicious custard.

Oh, bring it.

How about a "Lawrence
of Arabia" Christmas?

I don't even know
what that means.

It means that we can use the 21 tons
of sand that are already there.

Okay. All right.
Off that, the sand...

is desert sand like Africa,
so maybe instead of Christmas,

we do other winter
holidays. Kwanzaa?

Did you just gesture at
me when you said Kwanzaa?

No.

How about this?

Fey's sleigh ride--

the biggest-selling holiday
issue in the history of "Mode."

1986.

Yeah, I know it well.

Let me see that.

It's traditional. I like it.

Old is the new new.

When Fey put herself in the photo,
it sent shock waves.

No editor ever appeared
in the center spread.

I think in the
year of her death,

an empty sleigh would
be a nice tribute.

What do you think?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

We're pinning it on Fat Carol.

What?

Well, we have to say something
when Wilhelmina calls us in.

Marc, that's not fair.
She didn't do anything.

You know she calls you
"Fat Betty," right?

See? This is why I hate secrets
because they turn into lies,

which are much worse.

Fat Carol hates her job.

Would she eat so many
grilled cheeses if she cared?

Betty, we're doing
this for you.

We could get other jobs, but

look how long it took
you to land this one.

Well, I just didn't realize
that keeping so many secrets

was such a big part of
my job description.

Betty...

do you have another
pan of this stuff?

You're disgusting.

Healthy appetite that girl has.

Don't tell her we
have ice cream.

You know, Betty...

sometimes...

we have to keep
secrets to survive.

Hold it!

You know, it's too bad about
your Wilhelmina meeting.

We'll miss you around here.

Shut up, Carol.

I don't know if there's rehab for...
whatever this is,

but consider it before
starting the job hunt.

And, Betty,
I think I might miss you most of all.

It was nice having
someone Fatter than me.

Fat Carol.

Fat Carol.

Fat Carol.

Good morning, Daniel.
Here's your coffee.

I didn't realize you were
gonna come in so early.

Where'd you get that?

Are you okay?
Do you need me to get you something?

When I was 12,

I had the worst
Christmas of my life.

My, uh...

father had just gotten
back from Switzerland,

brought my mom... a music box.

Exactly like this.

She loved it.

A few days later,
she hid the thing in the attic...

set fire to a thousand
copies of "Mode" magazine.

No one would ever tell me why.

So is this your mother's?

No. This...
appeared here this morning.

Apparently my father
bought two of them--

one for his wife

and, uh, one...

For his mistress.

That's why Fey put herself
in the feature spread.

She was flaunting the
affair in my mother's face.

I'm sorry, Daniel.

Was there anything inside?

You know, the top lifts out.

This woman is trying to connect
your father to Fey Sommers.

She's trying to do
more than that, Betty.

She's trying to connect
my dad to Fey's death.

I just got back
from the studio.

There's still 21 tons
of sand sitting there.

Maybe I should just go
to the paramus mall

and take pictures
of kids with Santa.

No. I know what we
can do with that sand.

Follow me to the art department.
Come on.

Wait. Daniel?

You should probably know
that I have a meeting

with Wilhelmina
in five minutes.

Really? You?

Yeah, me and--and
Amanda and Marc.

You sure you know
what you're doing?

Not a clue.

Just be careful what you say.

Justin, what are
you doing here?

I have to do some more
research for my paper.

Sit down. Thank you, Marc.

Daniel Meade's office.

Justin's school just called.
He's not there. Is he with you?

Yeah, he's--he's right here.

I'm gonna kill him.

I knew this would happen.

The fashion world is no
place for a boy his age.

Well, he said he has to do
more work for his paper.

Wake up, Betty.
There is no paper.

What?

Yeah, he made the whe thing up
so he could just ditch school

and spend time in your world.

Well, I didn't know.

I don't even know
how to deal with it.

I don't--I don't know what
I'm gonna do with that boy.

You tell him that he is in
big trouble when he gets home.

So... you're ditching?

It's not a big deal.
I'm missing P.E. and art.

We're sketching fruit.

That's not the point.

Justin, this place that you
think is so glamorous...

it's not all it's
cracked up to be.

It's people deceiving each other and...
hiding things

and all kinds of stuff that's
not good for a kid to be around.

Someday, maybe you'll end up
working in a place like this,

but you're not gonna get
very far in life by lying.

That is not who we are.

Showtime.

Stay here and don't move.

Shall I ask questions, or do you
want to just tell me what you know?

Well, we were all at the
Rack on tuesday night,

and we just realized that
we all saw the same thing--

someone talking to Carlo
Medina from "Isabella."

Now as much as it hurts
us to rat out a friend,

we have to tell you.

It was Fat Carol.

I saw her, too.

Fat Carol leaked the spread.

Betty?

Is that what you saw?

No.

It was me.

I told Carlo everything.

You can go.

What?!

Aren't you gonna fire her?

If I fire her, Amanda,
I'd have to fire all of you.

You're not the only
one with informants.

I know exactly what happened.

The three of you might have
leaked a portion of the spread,

but that disgusting Fat Carol

slept with Carlo

and spilled everything.

- He slept with Fat Carol?!
- He slept with Fat Carol?!

He did what he had to
do for his magazine.

So what happens now?

Well, I'll consider
the last day and a half your punishment.

You were drunk, you were horny
and you were... naive.

Fat Carol on the other hand,

gave it up intentionally.

She gets the axe.

Now go before I change my mind.

Go!

It's Christmas in october.

Oh, my god!

It's just like "Top Model,"
except no one's crying.

Justin, go sit in that chair
and don't talk to anybody

unless they talk to you first.

So Wilhelmina told
me what happened.

Daniel, I'm sorry...
for everything.

You know,
it's okay to hide things sometimes,

especially if not hiding
them means I might lose you.

Here.

Shoo.

- Nice vest.
- Ralph Lauren.

We got it half-price because
there's a small hole,

but you can't even see it.

So... kids at school--

they like it?

No. They don't really get me.

Word of advice--

be who you are,
wear what you want,

just learn how to
run real fast.

All right, everyone.
Let's go, Marc!

We need to shoot in five.
Step it up, people.

Hold it.

This isn't the
concept I approved.

I've had final say on every holiday
spread for the last 20 years.

Some things came up last minute
that couldn't be avoided.

Our job is to fix the
problem, Bradford,

not to burden you with it.

You two are so full of crap.

Lucky for you,
it looks quite good--

maybe even better than Fey's.

- Okay, uh, let's--
- Hold on.

You know,
there's one thing missing.

Where did you find that?

The attic.

I remembered mom had it.

Looks just like the one Fey had,
don't you think?

Yes. Almost identical.

Good job, son.

Okay. Can we get
this thing going?

My hair is gray, and I'm driving to the
early bird special with my blinkers on.

What about the sand?
Isn't that from the old shoot?

Justin.

Say "snow."

Snow.

Snow is a magical blanket.

It hides what's ugly and
makes everything beautiful.

I'm sorry,
but your father's not who he says he is.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

According to our records,

Ignacio Suarez is
117 years old...

and dead.

Well, obviously
that's a mistake.

Not on our end.

The social security number
your father's been using

belongs to somebody else.

Suspicions have been raised.

father and son are being
driven further apart.

We couldn't have
planned it any better.

Wilhelmina Slater.

Carlo Medina.

It is an honor to finally
meet the legend in person.

I see I should add shameless
suck-up to the list.

What list is that?

I asked you here to tell you
you are an underhanded bastard,

a despicable, slimy weasel.

You have no moral compass,

are utterly without scruples
and will use anyone in your path

to get what you want.

How can I entice you
to work at "Mode"?

Or rather spy for "Mode"?

And I want you home
by 4:00 every day.

And no TV for a week.

And no "Fashion
TV" for a month.

Isn't any of this
upsetting you?

It was worth it.

Oh, "it was worth it."

Thank you.

Hey, mija.

How was your day?

It was a rough one.

Maybe a little cheese
and jalape?o will help.

It's good.

I think I'm just
gonna go to sleep.

Good night.

# Tale as old as time #

# True as it can be #
What the hell is that?

# Barely even friends #

# Then somebody bends #

# Unexpectedly #

# Just a little change #

# Small to say the least #

# Both a little scared #

# Neither one prepared #

# Beauty and the beast #

Betty's favorite movie.

# Tale as old as time #

# Tune as old as song #

# Bittersweet and strange #

# Finding you can change #

# Learning you were wrong #

# Beauty and the beast #

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