Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

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I like your poncho.

My dad got me one
in Guadalajara.

Milan. Dolce & Gabbana. Fall.

Betty Suarez?

Hi. That's me.

Um, I have a hard copy of
my resume if you need it.

Should I follow you?

Actually... there's
been a mistake.

A mistake?

All the entry-level positions
we were hiring for...



they've been filled.

I'm sorry.

Um, sir? While you got me here,

I thought I could tell
you a little about myself.

Magazines are my passion,
ever since I was a kid,

and I can't imagine
a more amazing place

to start my career than
Meade Publications.

I know most of your
magazines inside out.

I try to devour
as much as I can.

Clearly.

Also, I've learned so
much through them.

You know,
stuff so beyond my world, like--

like who the up-and-comers are
on the London art scene, or--

or what the political machinations
in Darfur are all about,



or which Bali Resort is considered
the most romantic in the world.

And I have tons of ideas.

I'm always jotting stuff
down on the subway.

But I'm getting
ahead of myself, sir.

- All I really want is a chance...
- Good-bye!

...in any position or publication--
I can type 100 words a minute!

I hate telenovelas.

I wanna watch Fashion TV.

Justin, you can watch
Fashion TV later

when your aunt Betty
is babysitting, okay?

Come have some flan.

I don't want flan.

I'll get fat.

Honey, you're a boy.

It doesn't matter if
you're fat or not.

Betty, did you order
dad's birthday cake?

Of course. Chocolate volcano,
same one I got last year.

So... how was your interview?

Um... I think it
was really good.

I mean, they were impressed.

You didn't get it.

Well, they said that they had
hired everyone they needed.

I don't understand...

you're sharp, you're prepared.

Someone should have begged
you to work for them

the day you graduated
Queens College.

Betty, have you thought about
exploring other options?

Hilda, I am not going
to sell Herbalux.

Well, I wasn't saying that...

necessarily.

- Dad.
- This career is Betty's dream.

Okay, but I hear somebody else
has some pretty big dreams, too.

What are you talking about?

Justin, tell your aunt Betty what her
boyfriend was saying the other night.

Walter was on his cell phone
talking to someone, and he said,

"she's the one."

He wants to marry you?

He does?

Well, would you do it?

Well, I mean--
we haven't talked about that yet, but--

Well, I think he's
a catch. Flan?

That's him.

Hi, Ignacio, Hilda. Hi, Betty.

Hey.

Here.

It's a return. The mute doesn't work,
but it sounds awesome.

Thank you.

Uh...

- Betty, can we talk?
- Yes.

Sure.

Oh, um, outside. Yeah, okay.

Celebrity-studded funeral services
were held today for Fey Sommers,

the much loved and
hated editor in chief

of fashion bible
"Mode" magazine.

It was the bitch slap
heard 'round the world

when longtime "Mode" creative
director Wilhelmina Slater

was passed over for the top
spot in favor of Daniel Meade,

the nominally experienced son
of Meade Publications owner

Bradford Meade.

Can the notorious manwhore

translate his talent
at bedding women

into dressing them?

How do you like
your new office?

You scared me. Um...

would you just, uh,
give me a few minutes? There's some--

some things I need to
wrap up before I leave.

Interesting decorating motif.

You can get up.
He knows you're there.

I'd like to introduce
you my new assistant...

Charmaine.

I'm sorry to interrupt
your... dictation,

but this is not the
way you run a magazine.

What?

I'm in love with someone else.

But...

How? I...

I mean, I thought we...

Well, who is it?

- Gina Gambarro?
- I'm sorry, I...

- I...
- No.

You don't have to
say anything else.

Good luck, Betty,

with everything.

Are you feeling any better?

I'm fine.

Hello?

Some guy from
Meat Publications.

Meade?

This is Betty Suarez.

Are you serious?

Yeah! I--
yeah, of course I-I can start tomorrow.

Um, what magazine is this for?

"Mode"?

Yeah, I'll be there first
thing in the morning.

Okay!

Thank you.

Bye!

Assistant to the
editor in chief!

I didn't know you wanted
to work for "Mode."

Well, this wouldn't have
been my first choice, but...

if I do good here,
I can go anywhere in the company.

Well, just try and
dress fashionably.

Do have anything?

Actually, I do.

Oh, my god.

Hi. You the "before"?

Before and after--
the photo shoot.

Are you delivering something?

Oh, no! No.

I-I work here.

For?

For the new editor in chief.

So everyone's in
the conference room,

and Daniel's about to start
his first staff meeting.

- I'm Amanda, by the way.
- Betty.

Okay, F.Y.I., Betsy, assistants are
usually here before their bosses.

Oh, well,
I was filling out paperwork in H.R.

Yeah, just don't
let it happen again.

So, uh, where do you come from?

Queens.

What job did you have?

Oh, actually, apart from internships
and part-time jobs to pay for school,

this is my first real job.

That's funny.

I was told I didn't have enough
experience for the position.

It's over there.

You are an attractive, intelligent,
confident businesswoman.

So I gotta confess-- I'm probably
not gonna remember everyone's names,

and I'm really, uh...

Are you okay?

I'm okay. I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, uh, I wish I wasn't--

Uh, I wish I wasn't coming in as a new
guy under such terrible circumstances.

I realize I have
some awful big...

teeth--shoes to fill,

but I can't tell you how
excited I am to be working

with such an amazingly
talented and dedicated staff.

Now I'd like to take the
moment to talk a little

- about some of the ideas--
- So sorry I'm late.

Oh, you began without me.

- Sorry, Wilhelmina, I waited--
- Shh! Marc...

gift.

Thank you.
As I was saying, I really wanna--

Well, aren't you gonna open it?

Swarovski crystal,
to commemorate your first day.

Thank you.

But it is "Daniel,"
not "Danny."

What?

I'm hellaciously upset, Marc.

Oh, my god, I am so sorry.

Shh! Purge this from
memory, please.

As I was saying, it's a particularly
exciting time for me because--

I think we need to discuss the
Fabia Cosmetics supplement.

Fabia Cosmetics?

The biggest ad buy of the year, and the
only paid layout editorial ever works on.

Well, I'm sure Fabia will love
whatever we come up with, right?

Daniel, you--you
don't understand.

Given the new circumstances,

Fabia needs to sign off on the
spread before we go to print.

Obviously, we're all here
to help you succeed,

and we've got plenty of ideas.

So I think we all need to get back
to work to make sure that this--

your very first issue with
your name on the masthead--

sparkles.

Okay, everyone,
let's not dillydally.

Our editor needs us.

- Killer poncho.
- Thanks!

Mr. Meade?

Excuse me, um, Mr. Meade?

Hi.

Um, I just wanted to come and
introduce myself personally.

I'm Betty Suarez.

It's a-a pleasure to meet you.

Hi, Betty. Um, um...

who do you work for?

Well, um, I work for you.

I'm your new assistant.

Did you get the crease
under the hairline?

Yes, Willie.

20 years, Marc.
No one has done more, worked harder...

I have bled for this magazine,

helped make it into
the icon it is today,

and that nasty, nepotistic son of
a bitch gives my job to his...

His son.

Who's a self-absorbed, lothario punk
who knows nothing about fashion!

Tell me the truth--

is it because I'm getting old?

Absolutely not. Ugh!

Though you could do with a tad
bit more between the brows.

So what are you gonna do?

Just wait and see.

Well, he's well on his way
to falling flat on his face.

I mean,
can you believe that assistant?

This is "Mode,"
not "Dog Fancy."

Done.

What do you want me to do with the,
uh... leftover?

All yours.

Give me a moment, Marc.

How are you
recovering, darling?

Well, I'm sure
you'll feel better

once, uh,
everything here starts coming to a boil.

Here.

Oh, thank you.

What are you doing?

Um, I'm just gathering
information on Fabia for Daniel.

Ugh, she is so
fabulously douchey.

Who's he in with?

Oh, um, Phillippe Michel.

He's a photographer.

Oh. He's doing the supplement,
isn't he?

Oh, he's amazing.
He's shot, like, everything.

Yeah, I think-- you know, it looks
like they're really good friends.

Oh, well,
there had been some drama.

Daniel hooked up with Phillippe's
ex-girlfriend a couple of years ago.

But they're fine now.

Yeah, we went out for,
like, a week.

And they don't call him "the
tripod" because he's a photographer,

if you catch my drift.

This is crap.

No.

No.

Too down, too out.

Can't go there.

All this is terrible.

That's what I thought.

Phillippe, can I trust
you with something?

Of course, Daniel.

You know you're like
a brother to me.

I don't think anyone wants me here,
especially Wilhelmina.

Well, that's no secret.

I think she's trying to take me in the
wrong direction with this Fabia layout.

Do you have any ideas?

Like, a million,

but keep things on the Q.T.

Most of these people are
still loyal to Wilhelmina,

and you don't want them
mucking things up.

Um, sorry to interrupt,
but can I get you lunch?

No, no,
but you go ahead. Thanks.

Hi, I'm a really
big fan of yours.

That travel layout you
did with the tiki torches,

wow, that was--
that was really gorgeous.

Thank you.

Yeah, it kind of reminded
me of this Hiroaki spread

I'd seen a couple of years ago.

Hey, listen, I don't know who
you are or what you're implying,

but, um, I would never use
another photographer's idea.

Oh, no, no! No, no, I wasn't--
I wasn't saying... um...

I-I should go.

What's the story here?

I know the type of
women you hire.

My father made me.

You're kidding me?

Look, she appears to
be good, capable--

Fugly! Listen to me, you are the
editor in chief of "Mode" magazine.

This business is all image.

Is that what you want
representing you?

Paparazzi taking your pictures,
and she's standing behind?

Well, I can't fire
her, Phillippe.

Well...

what if she quits?

And how do I get
her to do that?

You beat her down...

to a pulp.

Hey, you.

Betty, right?

Daniel Meade's new assistant?

Yeah. How did you know that?

Oh, everybody knows
everything around here.

I'm Christina.
I work in the closet.

The closet? What--

Mm-hmm, where all
the clothes are kept.

I act as an in-house seamstress,
sort of track of things.

Sometimes, they even let me keep some
of the crappy stuff from last season,

but, you know, I have to improvise
'cause everything is a size zero!

- Voila.
- Nice.

Anyway, well, I like it.
Mostly 'cause I'm by myself,

- away from all the chic-ees.
- The chic-ees?

Yeah, the bitches
that work at "Mode."

Hey, girls!

Zelda, Nancy, this is Betty.

- Oh, hi!
- Hi!

- It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

It's the bizarro version
of "Sex and the City."

Stop it, I'm gagging!

Funny, you look like any
old schlub sitting here,

feeding these stupid pigeons.

I doubt if any old schlub
would be feeding them

artisanal pain de mie
they made themselves.

There's nothing to worry about.

She's gone.

Weren't you sitting
front row at the funeral?

Closed casket.

Double... triple-check.

The things Fey
Sommers knew about me,

about the company...

I'm on it.

Hi, Betty.
There's a problem with my lunch.

Okay.

I love cole slaw.
I hate cabbage.

But cole slaw is...

No, no, no. No, I know. I just--
I-I like the--the tart, tangy dressing.

Can you do something
about it...

Before it gets to
room temperature?

# She works hard for the money #

# So hard for it, honey #

# She works hard for the money #

# So you better treat her right #

Hello?

Hi, Daniel.

# So hard for it, honey #

# She works hard for the money #

# So you better treat her right #

# Onetta there in the corner stands #

# And she wonders where she is #

# And it's strange to her #

# Some people seem #
# to have everything #

Hi.

Betty, where are you?

I'm still working.

You forgot, didn't you?

Oh, my god, dad's birthday.

Yeah, I was busy.

Look, I gotta go, okay?
I'll get home as soon as I can.

Um, yeah, the, uh...
the red turkey is on the move.

Hold on...

it's work stuff.

Will ya sleep over
another night?

Sure.

So, uh,
when's this position gonna open?

Oh, hopefully, very, very soon.

Oh, okay.
Well, uh, good night...

boss.

Bye!

- Hey.
- Hi.

Do you--do you need
anything else?

Why don't you stick around for a little
bit, make sure everything's okay?

Yeah.

Okay, no--no problem.

Perfect timing.

Oh, Walter!
You're such a big boy.

He's sleeping.

Hilda, I know...

Do you realize this is the
first time since mom died

that we haven't all been
together on his birthday?

Yes, I realize that,
and I am sorry,

- but I was working--
- It's fine, Betty.

I just hope it's all worth it.

We saved you a piece of cake.

It's in the fridge.

Oh, this photo shoot is
gonna be absolutely sick.

Best supplement we've ever
done for Fabia by far.

Oh, yeah,
I'm--I'm on my way to set as we speak.

Hello?

It's a really
exciting day, huh?

I mean, with the photo shoot.

Hey, Daniel, I know you're
really overwhelmed right now,

but I was wondering,
there was something that I just...

Daniel, you know, I was wondering
if you had a quick moment--

Do I look like I have
a "quick moment"?

No.

So sorry.

Damn it!
They forgot one of the outfits.

Go up to the closet
and bring it to set.

Please?

Feel the fabric on that thing.

It's kind of rough.

That's because it's burlap.

Basically, you're talking $7,000
for a designer potato sack.

I can't believe people
actually buy this stuff.

I can't believe they wear it.

And usually just once before they'll
chuck it to make room for the
next season.

But that's fashion,

and I've got to say, I love it.

Oh, you're not too much into it,
are you?

Um, no.

Not really.

So how's it going?

Um...

Brutal, huh?

Well, nothing I do
is good enough.

He treats me like dirt.

I mean, just now I was trying to
show him this one idea that I had...

It would've taken him
30 seconds, but...

he bit my head off.

What?

Betty...

Nancy was down in
human resources, and...

some people there were talking,
and, uh...

well, apparently, Bradford was
the one that wanted to hire you.

Bradford Meade?

Wait, he knows who I am?

He made Daniel hire you...

'cause he didn't want
his son to be tempted

to sleep with his
assistants anymore.

- Oh.
- I'm sorry, Betty.

- No, that--that explains a lot.
- Betty--

No, no, really, it's fine. I should
be grateful that I got my break.

It's not so easy for everyone.

This is just how it was
supposed to happen for me.

Well, I should be going, so...

Thank you.

Oh! So, uh, I was just on my lunch
break, and I thought I'd stop by.

This is really amazing.

Thank you, Amanda.

And if you need anything...

Traffic or hangover?

Did--did anyone read
the contract to her?

She needs to be here
for the test shots!

Hey, what's going on?

Izabela, the brazilian model...
she's late.

This is a crazy,
complicated shoot, and I need her

dressed and ready... right now.

Phillippe, they're test shots.
Let's just use the stand-in.

No, no, she's too specific. I need
someone with her--with her skin tone.

Someone like...

her.

Funny.

I bet you she quits
before she does it.

Whoops, excuse me.

Betty! Oh,
I am so glad you're here.

Listen, we have a crisis and
we really need your help.

Okay.

Uh, one of our models
didn't show up.

We really need someone to
stand in for her in wardrobe.

Um, so...

you want--you want me to do it?

Well?

Well-- this...
is what you want me to do?

Yeah!

Well, it looks like
she finally quit.

Good.

Smart ass had no business working
for you in the first... place.

# Please allow me to #
# introduce myself #

# My name is superstar #

# Short for nothing #

Where do you want me?

Right... there is fine.

I see a shadow. Can you move
that light over to the right?

Thank you.

Movement, ladies. Movement.

Sexy.

More, more.

Give me more.

Okay, you're devouring
the camera with your eyes.

Give me a little more
coquette, Betty.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Betty, wait!

This is what you wanted,
isn't it,

to humiliate me
and make me quit?

God forbid you had to work with the
ugly girl your dad forced you to hire.

Well, congratulations.

Chamomile?

Thank you, Justin.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

It happens.

Mom said she wasn't surprised.

Hilda said that?

She said all the
stuff you wanna do,

owning a magazine,
doesn't happen for people like us

unless you're J.
Lo or something.

She said she wishes you'd
be more realistic, but...

I think she's full of crap.

- Hold this.
- What...

what are you doing?

I just wanna say that
this is really unfair.

I live two doors down!

I can see you!

What the hell you doing?

Um... where's Walter?

It's over.

Look, Walter--
he's sweet and everything--

but I told him from the start I
wasn't looking for anything serious.

And he said fine, he could still
get me 30% off a flat screen.

You used him for his discount?

Oh, he offered.

Bitch!

You broke my plasma!

We're so thrilled to
have you here, Fabia.

Now, why don't we let the
pictures speak for themselves?

Smettila!

This is freaking joke, right?

Uh, no.

You stupido.

All of you, stupido!

Idiots, idiots!

What--what just happened?!

Well...

Fabia's probably still a little
sensitive about the accident.

Accident?

Oh, you didn't know.

About a month ago, she backed her S.U.V.
into 12 people outside Marquee.

I was in Saint-Tropez.

I had no idea.

Why--why didn't
anyone say anything?

Daniel, if I may,
you didn't include me in the concept.

And we all thought you
knew what you were doing.

Fabia's not just talking about
canceling... the "Mode" supplement.

She's considering... Pulling advertising
from every single one of my magazines.

Is it true you worked
on this on your own,

didn't consult Wilhelmina
or anyone else?

Look, I can explain.

I had--I had a very strong feeling
she was trying to sabotage me.

The only person who
sabotaged you was yourself.

Sorry I let you down.

Well, I'm sorry I keep hoping you'll
be something you're clearly not.

- My leg is cramping.
- Look, I can fix this.

I'll just present her
with a whole new idea.

We just closed book.
It's too late.

Tomorrow morning. Please.

Give me another chance.

Daniel called again
looking for you.

What part of "unavailable"
does he not understand?

I'll let him know.

He really should've
come to me earlier.

It wouldn't have made any
difference now, would it?

Not really.

To teamwork.

To revenge.

He has a heart condition.

Yes, he--he needs
his medication.

But you can't just cover the pills
and then randomly decide to stop.

But it's--it's a real person's health,
it's not a case number.

Give me the phone.
I'll let 'em have it.

No. No, I don't wanna hold again.
Not again.

No, just wait--

It's fine. We'll just--
we'll get 'em tomorrow. It's fine.

Thank you, mi amor.

You're so much better at dealing with
this bureaucratic stuff than I am.

No, you know I don't mind.

I know.

You're always so good to me.

So strong,
determined, optimistic...

just like your mother was.

Why haven't you
returned my calls?

I've been busy.

Betty, I need to talk to you.
I made a terrible mistake.

Wait, did you realize this
before or after Gina dumped you?

What? No, no,
I broke up with her.

Betty, it was wrong,
and I wanna make this up to you. I--

Betty.

Are you dating someone?

Walter, please go!

Dating this guy?

Look, you need to go.
Please. You need to go.

But, Betty, I-I...

What are you doing here?

I wanna talk.

It's a nice place.

Yeah, we're just in
between interior designers.

- Really?
- No.

Oh, right. It's a joke.

Betty, I am so sorry.

You didn't deserve what
I put you through.

I-I listened to all the wrong people
about a lot of things, and...

I have no one to
blame but myself.

Well, I appreciate
that, Daniel.

But you're going to leave here,

and you're going to take your
town car back to your soho loft,

and I'm still gonna be here--

out of work

and dealing with problems
that you'll never understand.

Try me.
Betty, come on, we've all got problems.

Oh, and what are yours, Daniel,

what restaurant you're gonna eat at,
which model you're gonna sleep with?

Try spending the day on the
phone with some crappy H.M.O.,

getting them to cover
your dad's prescriptions.

Or try lining up
a job--any job--

'cause you have to help
pay the rent next month.

Look...

I lost a brother a while back.

He was the good one in our family,
and I've never quite measured up.

But I am trying.

Betty, I--I could never
compare my problems to yours,

but they're mine.

Nothing's ever easy.

I saw the layout
you made for Fabia.

You did?

I thought it was very smart

and beautiful.

Well, thank you.

I want to take your
ideas to Fabia,

giving you credit, of course.

And I really want you to come back,
be my assistant.

I promise you things
will be different.

I--Daniel, I--I mean,
I-I really have to think about that.

Well... you have tonight,

otherwise, I'll probably
be out of a job as well.

Did you hear that?

Every word.

So... where the hell is he?

He said 10:00 a.m.

Well, Fabia...
on behalf of the entire magazine,

ci perdoni.

This whole thing has
been unacceptable.

Marc.

Now that I have a moment of your time,
I'd like to show you some of my ideas.

Sorry we're late.

There was obviously no time
for a new photo shoot, so, uh,

what we're gonna be showing
you is just a rough idea.

Oh! Uh, wait.
No, this is--this is not the right file.

Um, just one sec--one second.

This is it.

Um... in order to show the
softer side of Fabia Cosmetics,

we're going to use the concept
of mothers and daughters,

focusing on the small,
special moments that--

that are usually
taken for granted,

the theme being, "it's not the big
events... but the little moments"
that matter.

I just had a daughter.

I do none of those things...

but I can understand.

What makes you think this is
going to appeal to my customers?

Um. Well, if--if I may,
I do have the statistics here.

Um, though one might assume that
your demographic is very young,

in fact, there's been tremendous
brand loyalty since you've launched,

which means that the
people who were teenagers

when they began
using your cosmetics,

well, now, like you,
they are...

beginning to settle down
and have children--

um, 58% to be exact.

And you could do this in time?

Of course.

Uh, did you want to approve the, uh,
uh, models and images beforehand?

Nah. Just make sure
it's not too sappy.

Do a picture where they're pulling
their hair or biting each other.

So that's nice.

Now I go.

Good work.

- Oh, the idea was actually--
- His best one, don't you think?

Indeed.

Welcome back, boss.

Marc.

I'm very unhappy.

It's a setback.

But it's just a matter of time.

Once he's out of the picture,

the company will be
ours for the taking.

Considering the way
everything's played out,

it seems to me that you should keep
an eye on that damn ugly assistant.

What's her name?

Betty.

- Betty.
- Betty.

Betty.

Betty! Betty.

Oh, Christina,
thank you again, so much.

No, no, no. Go. Go.

You should've let me tell
him it was your idea.

Don't worry.
I will the next time.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

So I've confirmed your
lunch for tomorrow

and your 3:15 with the
graphics department is set.

- The feature editor would like--
- Betty...

Tomorrow morning. It's okay.

Good night.

# Well, her face is a map of the world #
# Is a map of the world #

# You can see she's a beautiful girl #
# She's a beautiful girl #

# Suddenly I see #
# Suddenly I see #

# This is what I wanna be #

# Suddenly I see #
# Suddenly I see #

# Why the hell it #
# means so much to me #

# Suddenly I see #
# This is what I wanna be... #

Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com

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