Twin Peaks (1990–1991): Season 2, Episode 18 - Episode #2.18 - full transcript

Truman survives the attempt on his life by Ms. Jones, and returns to his job. Gordon Cole returns to Twin Peaks to reinstate Cooper into the FBI and to bring the classified file on Windom Earle, who is now eavesdropping on the police station with a hidden microphone in a bonsai plant. When Cole flirts with Shelly at the Double R Diner, her seductive appearance somehow makes him hear her voice. Enlightened that he can hear (at least her voice) Cole asks Shelly out on a date. Shelly is somewhat embarrassed, but flattered at the attention and accepts. Audrey continues pursuing Wheeler, but is thwarted by her father who sends her to Seattle on business. Donna enlists Audrey's help in investigating Donna's mother who may have a past connection with Ben Horne. Windom Earle continues stalking Cooper as well as making contact (in disguise) with Audrey, Shelly, and Donna. When Annie sees the symbols that Cooper drew from descriptions from Major Briggs and the Log Lady, and tells them they look similar to markings in Owl Cave, Cooper, Truman and deputies Andy and Hawk make a midnight trip to the cave where they discover mysterious petroglyph markings. Also, Donna receives a postcard from the departed James Hurley, as well as a invitation to join the annual Miss Twin Peaks Beauty Pagent.

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Oh, Harry.



Yes, it's me.

I'm here.

- Josie.
- Harry, I'm here.







Room service.

Come on in. It's open.

You can just put it on the table.


I trust your sleep was untroubled?

Here at The Great Northern,
we aim to make your stay

as comfortable
and as enjoyable as possible.

You know, we take the concept
of room service very seriously.


Do you remember
your grandfather?


Colorful man,
one of the wisest I ever met.

You know what he once said?

He said if you're gonna bring
a hammer, you better bring nails.

What's that supposed to mean?

What that means is the next time
you come into my room

and carry on,
you'd better be ready to finish

whatever it is you came here to start.

- Maybe I'm ready now.
- Then be yourself.

I am being myself.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

I stand corrected. You're a beautiful,
intelligent young woman.

What else?


You have an undeniable
magic about you

that inspires a plan.

Flight at sunset and dinner for two?

- When?
- What, the flight or the sunset?

Well, I have to go to the library and
have a meeting with my father later.

A simple yes or no would do.


And if you bring a hammer,
you better bring some nails too.


No, not a word. She wants to speak
to the South African consulate.

In Twin Peaks?

Why would Eckhardt want me dead?

Sexual jealousy.

- Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hm.

It's good to have you back, Harry.

Taken me a day
or so to gel my sea legs.

Well, to be honest, it looks like
you went down with the ship.

Why don't you go home
and recuperate?

No, all I need is some coffee,
maybe a little food.

Sure-fire cure for a hangover, Harry.

You take a glass of nearly frozen,
unstrained tomato juice.

You plop a couple of oysters in there,
you drink it down.

Breathe deeply.

Next, you take a mound,
and I mean a mound, of sweetbreads,

sauté them with some chestnuts
and some Canadian bacon.

Finally, biscuits.

Big biscuits, smothered in gravy.

New, here's where it gets tricky.
You're gonna need some anchovies-

Excuse me.

That should do it.

The bonsai. The ultimate miniature.

Bicarbonate of soda,
the ultimate digestive aid.

Harry, quaff in good health.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

Where the hell did that come from?

It was delivered this morning.

It's from Josie.

Harry, Windom Earle
was at my house.

Windom Earle. When?

Yesterday. He left this with Donna.

He's closing in, Harry.

Knight to King Bishop 3.
What do we do?

We publish our next move today.

Thanks, Lucy.

Brace yourself, Harry.

- Agent Date Cooper.
- [SHOUTING] Gordon Cole.

Sure sorry to interrupt you fellas.

But, Coop, I'm bringing you
the classified portion

of the Windom Earle dossier.

Back from Bend?

Been on over to Bend, Oregon.

Whole lot of shaking
going on down in Bend.

Enter Gordon Cole.

This is so galling, Leo.

Young Dale is continually refusing
to play fair!

When Earle went boi-oi-oing,

the doctors discovered
he was on haloperidol.

The same drug the one-armed man,
Gerard, was on.

- What's that?
- Gerard used the same drug.

You got it.

But they figured he was using
the drug to fake his illness,

just as you suspected, Coop.

Definite schizoid maneuvering.

"Project Blue Book"?

My God, Gordon,
what was he doing on this?

The Bureau loaned Earle out
to the Air Force in 1965.

Reports on his two-year hitch
are blacked out. National security.

Wait a minute.

Earle was investigating UFOs?

Major Briggs, Harry.

Gordon, there are some
curious linkages here.

The word "linkage"
reminds me of sausage.

Never cared much for the links,
preferred the patties.

But breakfast is a real good idea.


Remember those
old World War ll movies?





Good to see you again, doc.
Sheriff, we'll be riding with you.

Cruiser's right outside.

Hold it one second there, Coop.

You'd better dust off
your own black suit.

With Windom Earle
rolling around loose on the deck,

we need you back on the team.

What are you saying, Gordon?

Coop, it gives me great pleasure
to reinstate you

into the Federal Bureau
of Investigation.

Brand-new issue,
more accurate and efficient.

Smith & Wesson, ten millimeter.

Model 1076, all stainless steel.

It's a beautiful weapon, Coop,
and it's all yours.

Thank you, Gordon.

Cooper, we're gonna find Earle.
We will pursue,

- capture and incarcerate.
- Capture and incarcerate.

Let's hit the road.

Come on, buster, I'm buying.

On your tail, Gordon.

Now, Leo...

...pick three cards.




Queen Donna.


Queen Audrey.

Queen Shelly, good.

Now, see if you can find the king.

Little Dale.

Now, we need one more queen.

Let's see.

The queen of hearts.

Let me see.

Miss Twin Peaks.

Now, what do you gel if you win?
You get a dozen roses,

a scholarship to the college
of your choice,

the accolades of your peers...

Oh, yes, I know.

You get to die.

A royal execution.


And Cooper

gets to watch.


Hello, Ben.

I need to talk to you.

How was everything, sir?


- Is Audrey Horne here?
- She's in the back. I'll get her for you.


Donna, hi.

Hi, Donna.


- Hi, Donna.
- Hi.

- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Sure.

This might sound a little strange.


Would you know any reason
why my mom's visiting your dad?

Not offhand.

Okay, well, yesterday he came by
the house to see my mom.

And today she drove over here
to see him.

Maybe she's just helping him
with the Stop Ghostwood campaign.

No, she would have said something
to me, and she hasn't said a word.

Is she here now?

They're in his office together.

No, I won't accept them.

They're your letters.

They were written to you.

I don't want them.

I won't have them
in my house any longer.

You've had them for 20 years.

Why now?

That's just what I'm asking you.
Why now?

They'll only succeed
in ripping apart old wounds.

I can't bear the thought of it.


Eileen, why don't you believe me?

Words aren't good enough.

I want my actions to speak for me.
Haven't you been listening?

I have been wrong all these years.

I am trying to make up for it.

Sometimes making up for things
only makes it worse.

Oh, Eileen.

You should have been the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Ben, please.

I haven't held you since that night.


Oh, I wanna hold you.

I wanna go back.

- God, if you'd just-
- Please, don't!

I'm sorry.

BEN: Have you told her?
EILEEN: God, no.

Never. I never will.
And you must promise me the same.

You mustn't come over again.

You must stay away from her.

I understand.

I hope you do.

What the hell was that all about?

I don't know.

But I'm gonna find out.

Harry, the best cure I ever came
across for a hangover

was raw meat, and plenty of it.

You break an egg on it.

Add in some salted anchovies,
Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce.

If you want,
we can order up some for you.

New that I come to mention it, Coop,
you know what I'm in the mead far?

What's that, Gordon?

A steak so rare
you could sell it at Tiffany's.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Good deal.

Holy smokes, who is that?

Shelly Johnson.

Shelly Johnson!

What a beauty.

Kind of reminds me of that statue,
the babe without the arms.

- Venus de Milo.
- The name was Milo,

but that's beside the point.

That's the kind of girl to make you wish
you spoke a little French.

Excuse me, Coop, while I try my hand
at a little counter Esperanto.

Good luck, Gordon.


I was wondering if I might trouble you
for a cup of strong black coffee

and in the process,

engage you with an anecdote
of no small amusement.

The name is Gordon Cole,

and I couldn't help
but notice you from the booth.

And, well, seeing your beauty now,

I feel as though my stomach is filled
with a team of bumblebees.

You don't have to shout.
I can hear you.

I heard that.

Um, do you want anything
besides coffee?

I heard you perfectly.

And I can hear you, honest, please--

You don't understand.

You don't understand, Miss Johnson.

- Do you see these?
- Uh-huh'

For 20 years, I've been
asking people to please speak up,

but for some weird reason,
I can hear you clear as a bell.

Say something else.

Um, uh...

Do you want pie with your coffee?

Good Lord. I can hear you perfectly.

This is like some kind of miracle.
A phenomenon.

- What's wrong with miracles?
- [SHOUTING] What's that?

This cherry pie is a miracle.

Would you please ask the lady
with the log to speak up?

Um, the pie.
She was talking about the cherry pie.

I heard you again. I heard you again.

Would you like some pie?

Massive, massive quantities.

And a glass of water, sweetheart.
My socks are on fire.


That looks like a chickadee
on a Dodge Dart.

No, it looks like a finch
on a Dodge Dart.

Nope, chickadee on a Dodge Dart.

- Hi.
- Hi. Cup of deep black joe?

You bet.

What do you recommend
for a hangover'!

Teetotaling and prayer.

Good answer.

I'll try some coffee.

How are you today?

I'm fine.

I'm weird, actually.

I'm disoriented.

I'm not sure where I am.
I mean, I know where I am,

but it feels odd being here.

I'm okay.


ANNIE: Listen to me.
I've been out of circulation so long,

I've completely forgotten
the social niceties.

I mean, you ask me how I am.

I'm not really supposed
to say how I am.

I'm supposed to say,
"I'm fine, thanks. How are you?"

I'm fine, thanks.


You must think I'm really strange.


Well, with due respect
to the social niceties,

even if you did think I was strange,
you wouldn't tell me, would you?

No, if I thought you were strange,
I'd tell you.

And you don't think so?

Not a bit.

Good. Glad we got that cleared up.

So, what will you have?

I would like a chicken potpie
and a large glass of milk, please.

Good choice.
All the major food groups represented.

Turkey sandwich, whole wheat,
lettuce, dollop of mayonnaise,

and I've got a joke for you.

Two penguins were walking
across an iceberg.

One penguin turned
to the second penguin and said:

"You look like
you're wearing a tuxedo."


I heard that.

Wait a minute. I'll be right back.

I wasn't quite finished.

How long you been
in love with her?

Harry, who said anything
about love?

Coop, you just tried to tell her a joke.

I did'?

So, what did
the second penguin say?

Well, the first penguin said
to the second penguin:

"You look like
you're wearing a tuxedo."

And the second penguin said,
"Maybe I am."


The defense rests.

Do you want some more pie?
A whole pie?

Yes, I would, Miss Johnson,
and a piece of paper and a pencil.

I plan on writing an epic poem
about this gorgeous pie.



I see that you've been to Owl Cave.


Well, that design looks like
the one up at Owl Cave.

Let me see that.

I combined Major Briggs' tattoo
with the Log Lady's.

This looks exactly
like the one at Owl Cave.

Harry, I've got to see this Owl Cave.

Dear Donna,

You were right, I had to go.

Everything feels different
when you're on the road.

It feels better.

San Francisco's really cool.

Next stop, Mexico.

I'll be back with a million stories.

I promise.

I love you, James.


How is he?

He's good.

He's doing what he needed to do.

He'll be back.

Dad, can I ask you something?


How does Mom know
Benjamin Horne?

I doubt that she does, Donna.
Not very well.

He was over here yesterday.

They were talking like old friends.

Your mother works a lot
with the local charities.

I'm sure even Ben contributes
once in a while.

She drove to The Great Northern
this morning to see him again.

Ah, probably something to do
with a fundraiser.

I don't think so.

Yeah, that's exactly what it was.
She told me at breakfast.

One of those heal-the-planet things.

Well, she didn't mention it lo me.

Well, that's exactly what it was.
That's what she told me.


I'll get it.


Hi, I have a delivery for Mrs. Hayward.

They said they're for Mom.

No card.

I'll put them in water.

Aah! Sorry, sorry, my fault. Heh.

- Oh-- I didn't hear you.
- No.

One should never allow
one's mind and one's foot

to wander at the same time.


Edward Perkins.
Once again, my apologies.

Audrey Horne.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Perkins.

Mm-hm, mm-hm.
So, what brings you to the library?

I'm doing research
on civil disobedience.

Good for you. It is incumbent
on the young to disobey.

Ha, ha. Are you a professor?

Well, I teach.
Poetry is my area of expertise.

You're kidding. You know, someone
sent me a poem. Maybe you know it.

Oh, perhaps I do.
Now, let's have a look.

Oh. Hmm.

You read it.


See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another

No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdain'd its brother

And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea

What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

Yeah, you know it.

Yes. Shelley.


Gazing at you

reciting the verse of Shelley,

you look very much like a queen.


Thank you.


I guess I better be going.
Nice meeting you.

- Perhaps we'll meet again someday.
- Yeah.


- Thinking of entering?
- Heh. No.

I think the real world's strange enough
without getting on-stage

and parading around
in a bathing suit and heels.

Guess the convent's not too big
on that kind of stuff.

That's a good guess.

So, what's it like being back
in civilization?

It's not like they kept us
cooped up in an attic.

I mean, we had newspapers.
We even had cable TV.

Every time I tell someone where I've
been, they act like I'm out on parole.


You know what is weird?
Being around men again.


Well, you don't have to spend time
in a convent to feel that.

What do you know
about Dale Cooper?

Are we interested?

Who said anything about that?

Well, judging by the look on his face
when he saw you today,

I'd say you have a major opportunity.

Sorry, you have it all wrong.

I'm not even remotely interested.



Yes, Lucy.

I wanna thank you for helping out
during the weasel riot yesterday.

Which is more than I can say
for a certain Dick we both know.

Keeping the peace is part of my job.

Where are you going
with all of that gear'?

- Spelunking.
- Oh.

ls it dangerous? Spelunking?


Promise me something?


I know you'll be strong,

and I know you'll be brave,

but I want you to promise me
that you'll be careful.

I'll be careful. You have my word.


All set, Harry?

Pete just called in our next move.

- We expose a pawn to his bishop.
- Want me to hold off?

No, Pete knows what he's doing.

If he takes that pawn,
he forfeits the bishop,

thus losing his initial advantage.

How you feeling?

Like someone pounded
a railroad spike through my ear.

Then a descent into a cool
subterranean cave

will be just what the doctor ordered.

Are you sure Cole's up
for the climb?

Gordon's not coming with us.

Shelly took him up to Doc Hayward's
to see about his hearing problem.

The old tuning-fork lest.




When Jack Kennedy
entered the White House,

he took his brother with him

because he trusted Bobby
to tell him the truth,

even when it wasn't pretty.

When the Bay of Pigs went up
in smoke, Bobby was there.

When the Russians moved
their missiles into Fidel's backyard,

Bobby was there to help his brother
shoulder through.

Sort of how Jerry's done that
for you?

It's the unvarnished truth
that I am looking for.

And I believe that you

are the best man for the job.




I know that I haven't been
a very good father.

Oh, heck, who am I kidding?

When have I ever been anything
but a sleazy, rapacious heel?

Well, Daddy,
maybe when I was little, but--

Exactly. But I've changed.

And I am determined
to be a better person.

The kind of father
that you will respect someday.


When I think about Laura,

when I think about the mistakes
that I've made,

I want to build a life in happiness
for our whole family.

You, me.

Will you help me do that?


Daddy, I'm your man.


Audrey, pack a bag.
Get out to the airport.

Your plane leaves in an hour.

My plane?

Oh, John.
Just the man that I wanna see.

Hi, Ben. Hello, Audrey.

- Daddy, um--
- Audrey, you better get a move on.

One hour. Audrey's on her way
to Seattle tonight.

She's having a breakfast confab
with the environmentalism,

We're going national
with this...pine-weasel thing.

Oh. Great. That's great.

Daddy, I'm not sure I can leave
on such short notice.

Now, here are the particulars.
Time, place, so on.

Audrey, you bring us back
good news.

Good news, heh.

Well, guess I better go.

- Bye.

Travel safely, Audrey.



How are you, Ben?

l am filled to the brim
with a feeling of goodness.

Like a Christmas tree
all lit up inside.

But at the end of the day
when I look in the mirror,

I have to face the fact
that I really don't know how to be good.

You're off to a pretty fair start.

How do you do it, John?
What's the secret?

Do you really think
that I could learn to be good?

I don't see why not.
Just keep your eye on your heart.

And always tell the truth.

- Always tell the truth.
- Tell the hardest truth first, though.

Oh, always tell the hardest truth first.
Oh, I love that.

John, that's terrific.

This truth business,
it's clearly at the forefront of goodness.



- I'm falling in love with your daughter.
- Yeah, that's a hard truth.

- Good example.
- It is the truth.

- It is?
- Yep.


Oh. John.

- John.
- Ben.

What a wonderful world we live in.


COOPER: Come on, Andy.
TRUMAN: Get a good grip, Andy.

HAWK: Do it.
TRUMAN: That's it, Andy.

COOPER: Looking good.
TRUMAN: Hand over hand.

Almost there. Take it easy.

No, no, no, Don’t look down. No.

Hang on, Andy, Don't look down.

- Hang on.
COOPER: Don't look down!


- And};
- You okay?

I'm fine.

Whew. Incredible.

HAWK: We used to play here
when I was a kid.

Pretended it was haunted
by fierce ghosts.

Beer drinkers, by the look of it.

Where's the symbol?

This way.

It's right here.

- There it is.


Two symbols combined
into a larger whole.

But for what purpose?

I don't know.

Beats me.

The tattoos are the question.

This must be the answer.


It's stuck.

My pick, it's stuck.

Oh, my God.

- Wow.
- Holy smoke.

Look at that.

What have I done?

Fellas, coincidence and fate
figure largely in our lives.

It appears to be a petroglyph.

Harry, I have no idea
where this will lead us.

But I have a definite feeling it will be
a place both wonderful and strange.



Good evening.
Can I help you, young lady?

Yes, I would like something to drink,
but I'm not exactly sure what.

Ladies seem to like the rum.

Rum. I would like to have
a rum, please.

- Uh, with...?
- Tonic?

Diane, Thursday, 9:05 p.m.

I’ve just returned from a place
called Owl Cave.

How I got there
is a rather complicated story.

It all began with a pair of tattoos...

First one's on me.

Thank you.

- Hello, Annie.
- Hi.

- Can I get you something-l? Oh.
- No, no. I have a rum and tonic.

I see.

One of the sisters
used to put rum in her tea,

and I thought it sounded exotic, so...

This is all new to you, isn't it?

I feel constantly amazed, stunned.

Music and people,

the way they talk and laugh,

and the way some of them
are so clearly in love.

It's like a foreign language to me.

I know just enough of the words
to realize how little I understand.

Man, I would love to see the world
through your eyes.


Oh, there's some things
I might do different if I had the chance.

Me too.

You see, the thing is,
I failed before and...

I'm just afraid it might happen again.

You wanna talk about it?

Not yet.

Maybe I can help.

Can you?

If you want me to.

I'm stubborn. Extremely willful.

I can handle that.

Some people think I'm strange.

I know the feeling.


I couldn't promise you
that I would always make sense

or do things
that you would expect me to do.

Annie, I don't expect anything.

Then I accept your kind
and generous offer.

Good. I'm glad.

My, my, my.

What have we


Could it be?


The symbol inverted.



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