Twentysomethings: Austin (2021): Season 1, Episode 5 - OMG They're Kissing - full transcript

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[whimsical electronic music playing]

[alarm ringing]

[music continues]

-[Natalie] Abbey.
-Hi.

-Oh, my gosh.
-[chuckles] Don't come in here like that...

-I'm sorry.
-I know.

-[sighs] I've been dying to talk to you.
-I know.

{\an8}Yeah, the other night, I watched
Kamari make out with some rando girl.

Right in front of my face.

Like, "What are you doing?"

[music continues]



[Bruce] Oh, yeah.
I'm coming around the screen.

Remind me
never to play you one-on-one again.

[grunts]

[effort grunts] Oh!

[effort grunts]

{\an8}Okay.

{\an8}-How you liking Austin so far?
-I fuck with Austin.

The downtown scene is crazy. Boom.

I still ain't really seen
what the shorties out here talking about.

-[chuckles] Yeah.
-It's a lot of talent out here.

Yeah. Speaking of talent,
how are you and Abbey doing?

We had a little speed bump

'cause I kissed, uh, Taylor
in the bar the other night.

I was moving off impulse.



-But...
-I walked out of the bathroom,

I saw you over there with her and said,

-"Damn!" [laughs]
-Damn! [chuckles]

Yeah. I don't even know.

But also, like, in front of my face.

-It's shitty. It is.
-That's the thing. That's what I'm saying.

Do whatever you want.

Have your side girl.
Whatever what you want.

-That's fine. Whatever you call it.
-[chuckling] "Side girl."

-Whatever she was.
-Right.

But why in front all your friends?

The whole point of "friends with benefits"
and "no strings attached,"

is to not have an emotional attachment.

I know you say you don't have feelings
for him, but at the end of the day...

-I "say." You don't believe me?
-I don't believe you.

Fuck off, Natalie.

{\an8}Because you guys are friends.

{\an8}You hang out in the same house.
You're always seeing him.

-I mean, yeah.
-There's some...

It's more than just,
"Whatever. I fuck him."

I feel like there's...
He's also your friend.

I know.

The wires in my brain,

where the physical
and the emotional fire, little neurons...

I think they're way more crossed over
than I would like to admit.

I definitely think I started
to develop some feelings for Kamari

and I don't really want that.

I know I need to talk to him, but...

[Natalie] Hmm.

I'm dreading it.

-I hate expressing any sort of feelings.
-Yeah.

This is why, initially,
I didn't want to fuck around

-with anyone in the house.
-Hmm.

[serene electronic music playing]

♪ I have always followed my own way ♪

♪ Different but I'm never gonna change ♪

♪ You can talk
It doesn't matter ♪

♪ I don't want to fit the pattern ♪

♪ I see pink
And you see black and white... ♪

I'm home.

Anyone here?

-[inaudible]
-[gasps]

I'm home.

-I missed y'all so much.
-[Natalie] Hmm...

You were gone forever.

-Mm...
-[Keauno] Aw...

Thank y'all both for the texts.

Love you. Missed you.

When I was away at my grandma's funeral...

Just a lot of reflection. A lot of tears.

I missed my roommates so much.

I'm so happy to be back.

How was, um, your trip back home?

[Keauno] It was a lot of emotion.

-[Natalie] Mm.
-[Raquel] Hmm.

My mom ended up sharing with me that...

She said she told my grandma, um,

"He likes men,"
or something along those lines,

and my grandma...

[emotional music playing]

{\an8}You're fine.

{\an8}Um...

You know, she just said, uh,

"So?" She's like,
"We're still gonna love him."

-That's awesome.
-And that...

[crying] You know,
she passed away knowing I was gay

and just the closure it had,
and that she still loved me.

[Keauno sniffles]

I'm so happy she was able to know
that part of you, you know? [sniffles]

The roommates
have seen me be happy, gay Keke.

But this is really challenging for me.

I'd barely used the word "gay"
before I moved here.

Yes, I'm in an accepting environment,

but I just have a lot of walls built up
'cause I had to grow up protecting myself.

And so, you know,
those walls don't come down easy.

But I'm slowly tearing them down.

It's what I want to achieve in life.

It's why I came to Austin.

-[whispering] Love you, Keeks.
-Love you.

We love you, Keke.

Heck yeah, dude.

[upbeat music playing]

[message whooshes]

{\an8}[message whooshes]

{\an8}[message whooshes]

-Oh, he's cute.
-He's cute, right?

[gasps] This guy's name is Michael.

Basic, but cute.

[laughing]

So, living back at home,
my dating life was non-existent.

With my family and how strict they are,
it wasn't something I would be able to do.

I've never even had a boyfriend.

I've only hooked up
with one guy, very few times.

So now that I'm on my own,
I am hitting up the dating apps.

And this is my priority.
I'm ready to let loose.

Keeks, what do you think?
Does he pass the test?

-He's cute. A good one-night stand.
-[gasps] Hold on.

-Just kidding.
-I know. Wait, please.

"I'm looking for an edgy girlfriend
to cut all my band T-shirts into crop..."

-Is that you?
-I'm edgy, right?

-You are edgy.
-I'm edgy.

-Tell me I'm edgy.
-Yes.

[Isha] Michael.

{\an8}Michael, come out here.

-Come out, Romeo.
-No.

[chuckles]

{\an8}[Isha] I've never seen you wear a hoodie.
Looks hot on you.

-[Michael] Really?
-Yeah.

-Thank you.
-Uh, you're welcome.

Uh, I was just calling you out here

because I have an idea
for what we could do for our next date.

-Assuming you wanna see me again, which...
-I'll do it, but what is it?

Uh, that you take me to stand-up.

To what stand-up? Not mine, right?

No. I think we could come up
with a better date idea than that.

[Isha exclaims]

There's a chance

he doesn't want me to see the stand-up
because he likes me and he's embarrassed.

So, it's actually flattering.

[inhales sharply]

[groans]

-Really want to come watch me?
-Yeah.

[Michael] I don't want to do that.

After you watch me perform, there's
a chance you don't like me anymore.

-I think I'm willing to take that risk.
-Okay.

-Yeah.
-All right. I guess we could do it.

-[Isha] Cool.
-[groans]

I typically don't let anyone I know
watch me do stand-up.

My parents have never even seen me do it.

Uh, it's pretty embarrassing.
It's hard. I'm new at it.

Isha might lose her attraction to me
if she sees me at a mic.

I can't wait
for my stomach muscles to hurt.

Yeah.

[sniffs]

I'm not excited for this date.

Thanks for inviting me to my show.

[both chuckle]

You're welcome.

Oh, no. Why did I just agree to that?

[upbeat music playing]

[Bruce blowing raspberry]

[chuckling] Stop.

♪ Take me out for breakfast ♪

♪ Eggs and bacon, baby ♪

♪ Tell me all the things
That you're really not impressed with... ♪

[indistinct chatter]

So, you drinking?

I don't know. Should I?

[chuckling] I don't know.

-Aw. Thank you.
-Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

[Kamari] Mm-hmm?

I understand that we have
no commitment to each other, technically,

but right after we hooked up,

Kamari made out with some rando girl,

directly in front of me,
which is super fucking lame.

And I hope
that he is at least self-aware enough

to understand how fucked that it is.

[chuckling] You got
something on your mind?

Kind of.

-[Abbey sniffles]
-I'm all ears. What's up?

I'm a bit annoyed.

-Annoyed?
-[Abbey] Annoyed.

With me? Or just in general?

With you.

[both chuckle]

You mad at me?

[hesitates] I don't know.
I felt like the other night was...

just kind of shitty.

Um, I know that we, you know,
agreed to do no commitment.

-Mm-hmm.
-[Abbey] We do what we want to do.

But just because
you don't have any commitment to someone,

just because you're just hooking up,

doesn't mean
you don't owe them some respect.

And I did not like that.

That was... You know,
do what you want or whatever,

I don't know... But...

[chuckling] Right in front of me? I mean...

Can you imagine if I'd done that?
You would be so mad at me.

-I know you would. I know you.
-[chuckles]

I know you would've hated that.

-Put yourself...
-[Kamari] I would feel some type of way.

I'm sorry.

-[Abbey] Are you?
-I am.

-No, I am.
-Or are you just saying the right thing?

[Kamari] I'm being for real. I am sorry.

We gonna do what we want,

but I ain't gonna
let shit like that happen again.

Do I think kissing Taylor was wrong? No.

Do I think kissing Taylor
in front of Abbey was wrong? Yes.

I'm still not trying
to take things to the next level,

but I'm also not trying
to necessarily take a step back.

So I hope she can accept my apology
and we can move forward.

Are we good?

So good.

-That wasn't even convincing.
-[Abbey chuckles] So good.

-Okay. See, you playing.
-Never better.

[Kamari] Okay.

[Abbey] Yeah. I definitely think
I'm starting to develop some feelings.

Um, which is very scary.

[pop music playing]

[dishes clattering]

[laughs]

Oh, my God.

[music continues]

[knocking at door]

-What's up, man?
-[Michael] What are you up to?

Drawing. Chilling.

About to go to sleep in a minute.
What's up with you?

Oh, just in my head.

-Uh-oh.
-You know how it be.

-About what? What's going on?
-[groans]

Isha wants to come to my stand-up.

-Oh, shit.
-To one of my open mics.

-Yeah.
-Are you going to let her?

I already said yes
'cause I'm too scared to say no to her.

She definitely wouldn't have liked you
saying no. So, I feel that.

But just know,
I've seen you and Isha around each other.

I've seen you
make her laugh plenty of times.

-Yeah.
-Just take a deep breath.

-Mm.
-Get in your game mode.

-Got your shorty out there supporting you.
-Uh-huh.

What's the worst that could happen?

I shit my pants.

That's different than bombing.

[chuckling] If you shit your pants,

I cannot guarantee
she gonna keep fucking with you.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Natalie] What time did you sleep?
-[Isha] Huh?

-I went to sleep at 2:00. What time?
-12:30.

-Okay.
-Right when you left.

-I'm the only one.
-Okay.

Well, you were talking to your boo thang.

The guy that I'm talking to,
he sent me a dick pic.

Why's no one smiling? [chuckles]
Everything is so new.

What would you guys do?

-[Abbey] You didn't ask for it?
-No.

-[Abbey] Yeah. So then...
-But we were sexy talking.

Guys should ask for consent
before sending dick pics.

-Yes. Absolutely.
-That should be a general rule.

Does that mean he's not a good guy?

Would you guys end it there?

-What would you do?
-Depends on what you're looking for.

[Natalie] He asked me out on a date.
Do you guys think I should go for it?

[Raquel] Don't ask me if you should
go out with him 'cause I'll say no.

I think if you want to,
you should meet him in a public place.

-Yeah. Eff that.
-Yeah.

But he seems like trouble,
so I don't know.

[atmospheric music playing]

I've never been the it-girl

where guys are just
giving me a lot of attention.

So, to finally feel like there's a guy

wanting to talk to me

and wanting to show me
parts of himself... [chuckles]

I'm like, "Okay."

I understand that the girls are against it

and I hope they can understand
why it's kind of exciting for me.

[whispering] It was a really good dick.

♪ Ah, come on lose yourself ♪

♪ You gotta let your spirit shine... ♪

-It doesn't match.
-Yeah, it doesn't.

Oh...

Buy another pants.

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my Goy.

I want to go see Michael do stand-up

because I think... He's always saying
he's a really bad comedian.

I'm curious to see
if he is just a talented, creative genius

who just isn't aware of how good he is.

[car beeping]

Oh, my God.

Why is it going...

[gear stick rattling]

How...

[car beeping]

I don't know how to drive.

[Michael chuckles]

Oh, boy.

Do you usually
get nervous before comedy sets?

Not this nervous.

I always am like, "It'd be so nice
if this place burned down."

[Isha] Oh... What do you mean?
Which? The house?

Wherever I'm doing comedy
before I'm really nervous...

-Yeah.
-Has a park ever burned down?

-You know there's a first for everything.
-Uh-huh.

I bomb in front of
strangers and comics all the time.

But it's a lot more pressure
doing stand-up

in front of someone you got your eyes on.
You know, someone you like.

Got good jokes.

At this level that I'm at,

when I go out on stage,

uh, I just hope for some sort of noise.

I don't want to do comedy
for sheer silence.

[shrill feedback through mic]

I've had barely any moments
where I've done well,

but the times that I have done well,

oh, it's awesome.
It's the greatest feeling.

[shrill feedback continues and stops]

-How about now?
-[man 1] Yeah!

-[cheering]
-[chuckles]

[Michael] That's great.
This is great, guys.

Thank you. Wow.

Comedy in a park, huh?

Usually, I'm not allowed
within 300 feet of parks,

-so this is really exciting for me.
-[scattered laughs]

You guys ready for some zingers?

[man 2] Yeah!

Okay. Hold on to your hats.
This is a really good one.

Uh, I read recently
that Hitler was on meth

the entire time he was in power,

if you guys could believe that.

He was on meth.

Uh, I hope we don't start using meth
as an excuse for his anti-Semitism,

uh, 'cause, believe it or not,
I've done meth before,

but I didn't try killing six million Jews.

That's crazy.

I only tried killing one.

[one audience member laughs]

That was dark.

[scattered, quiet laughs]

You ever pushed so hard while pooping

that you accidentally let
a bit of pee out from tomorrow?

[laughs]

Yeah, it's relatable.

Cool. Doing relatable stuff here, guys.

[hesitates] Fuck the jokes.
You guys like impressions?

-[crowd] Yeah!
-Yeah.

If I'm being honest,
I can only do Jerry Seinfeld.

-Uh...
-[chuckles]

This is the voice in my head,

uh, immediately after this mic,
if it was, uh, Seinfeld.

[clears throat]

[imitates Seinfeld] What are you doing?

Kill yourself.

[laughs quietly]

Quit comedy.

Seinfeld.

Guys, thank you
for coming out to my Make-a-Wish.

-[chuckles]
-This means a lot to me.

After this, I'm gonna
go meet Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

So thank you guys so much for everything.

[crowd cheering]

I feel like
a real piece of shit, like normal.

But this time Isha's there to watch me
feel like a real piece of shit.

[male announcer] Keep it going
for Mr. Fractor!

[crowd cheering]

She hates me?

That's my initial reaction to this.

-Let's get out of here.
-Okay.

[upbeat music playing]

So I'm getting a lot of mixed reviews
about this whole dick pic situation.

But at the end of the day,
he made a bold choice

and your girl likes bold.

-Is this mint?
-[bartender] It is, yeah.

-Can I have some?
-Sure.

[Natalie mumbles]

Thank you.

I love eating mint.

[bartender]
It's what they used to do before gum.

Yum.

[bartender]
What can I get started for you?

[Natalie] I am so down for a sidecar.

Sidecar? Yeah. Tasty.

[Natalie] I have a date.

-[bartender] Oh! Okay.
-[Natalie] Mm-hmm.

[bartender] Well, here's to hoping
this one is the one.

-I mean, I can't wait. Me too.
-[bartender] Know anything about this guy?

I do, actually.

He has some great assets.

Oh?

-Okay, so this guy sent me a dick pic.
-Are you serious?

Yeah. What do you think about that?

I'm pretty sure
that's not okay. [chuckles]

It's not, but I was curious.

-Okay.
-[Natalie] If that makes sense?

I was not mad. It's my first one.
So I'm like, "It's all new." You know?

I've heard curiosity killed the cat.
I don't know.

-And then satisfaction brought it back.
-[both exclaiming]

-There we go.
-[Natalie] Yeah.

He should be here soon, so...

I think it's gonna be very good.

We have really good chemistry.

-On text. Yeah.
-[bartender] Okay.

[r&b music playing]

♪ You're stuck on every word ♪

♪ Ignoring all the warnings ♪

♪ It's not what you deserve ♪

♪ But I'll be gone by the morning ♪

You going home, man... It made me think.

I've been here for weeks
and I miss my family.

Just dwelling on it last couple days.

I can tell
'cause you call your parents every day.

-You talk about them a lot. Your family.
-Yeah. Family's everything.

[music continues]

Do you want subtitles for any video?
-=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-

{\an8}[message whooshes]

[indistinct chatter]

[Natalie clears throat]

[Natalie] Here's the thing.

You show me your dick,
but you can't show up for a drink?

Like, come on, dude.

I don't think he's gonna come.

-Really?
-[Natalie] Yeah.

-Oh, no.
-He's 30 minutes late.

Yeah. It's starting to get a little late.

I know.
We're kind of shutting down here soon.

-Oh. Awkward.
-No. That's okay.

Fuck it. Whatever.

So I don't feel too hot right now,

and a part of me is like,
"Maybe the girls were right?"

It sucks.

[somber instrumental music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

-[Kamari] Is water wet?
-[Michael] Yeah. You don't think so?

No, I do. I just saw it on the Internet.

-It was a question.
-[Michael] Yeah.

[dog barking on laptop]

[inaudible]

[Kamari] Is air on me right now?

[Michael] Yeah, right?

[Kamari] Or is it just...
Am I just engulfed in air?

[Michael] You're engulfed in air,
but you're touching it, so it's on you.

[chuckling] I'm way too high
for this conversation right now, man.

-Please stay. I have to vent to you girls.
-[Isha] Mm.

-What happened?
-Dick pic guy stood her up. Sorry.

[laughs]

-[Natalie] Yes! Dick pic guy stands me up.
-[Isha laughs]

[Raquel] Mm...

[Natalie] I'm super sexually frustrated.

You know how guys go,
"We have boners. You guys don't."

Do you know what it feels like
to have the Seaquarium in your pants?

-Yes!
-It's the same thing.

You know what I mean?

-We have our struggles too.
-[Raquel] Mm-hmm.

So we get pent up too.
We need release too.

Am I the only one here
with a vibrator? [gasps]

[Isha] I just use my imagination
and my fingers.

-[Natalie] Yeah. Me too. Yes.
-[Isha giggles]

[sighing] I would recommend a vibrator,

only because I feel like

-relying on these men is a waste of time.
-[Natalie] Mm...

You can get what you need
in 30 seconds or less.

-So true.
-[Raquel chuckles]

-Thirty seconds?
-[Raquel laughing] Thirty seconds or less.

[chuckling] Sorry.

One time I tried my electric toothbrush.

-Wait, I'm telling...
-[Isha and Raquel laugh]

You know how you told me
to use the showerhead?

-[Raquel] Yes.
-Oh, my God.

I tried it and I almost burned my varguba.

-Oh, no!
-[all laughing]

Oh, my God. I've done that.

[all laughing]

I came to Austin to explore myself.

So it's time
to take matters into my own hands.

[upbeat song playing]

[strumming tune]

-[Isha] Hi.
-Hi.

-What's up?
-What are you doing?

I'm just on the computer.

Oh.

Your bed is really bouncy.

What? Yeah. Thank you.

[Isha chuckles]

I feel like Michael's
a little embarrassed.

I kind of get the sense
that he's hiding from me.

And if that's the case,
I'm definitely not gonna let that happen.

Can I try?

[Michael] Yeah, but be careful.

[chuckles]

-[strums]
-Wow.

That's really good.

I don't really initiate
physical things with guys very much.

[strums]

Okay, that's enough.

Uh... [chuckles]

Usually, it's like, I just am on a date
with the guy and he just...

[exclaims]

[chuckling] I don't know
if Michael would do that.

Maybe I'll have to put
more obvious feelers out there.

-What are you doing tonight?
-Well, do you want to get dinner?

Yeah. Let's do it.

How about we do sushi?

-Okay.
-Stop. Okay.

[both laughing]

-Why'd you do that?
-I don't know.

-That was weird.
-I know.

I don't really know why I did it.

It's okay. We're good.

Maybe she didn't
hate my stand-up as much as I thought.

-[Keauno] It looks good. You look so hot.
-[Natalie] God. I look hot.

-I look like I'm ready to have sex.
-[Keauno] You do.

Hi. What do we have
on this, um, sex shelf?

You could be on the cover of Sex Magazine.

Really?

[upbeat music playing]

-[Natalie] Oh, my God. Yay!
-[Raquel exclaims] I'm gonna run in.

-[Raquel gasps]
-[Keauno] Oh, my God. I'm scared.

-[Natalie] It's like we're in heaven.
-[Keauno] I'm nervous.

Oh, my gosh. Are those strings?

Oh, my God. Yum.
Wait, Keke. Why are you scared?

-This isn't a haunted house.
-[chuckle]

[gasps] Mojito-flavored dick? Stop.

"Fetish fantasy." I found my aisle.

Wait, guys. What is that?

I'm tired of feeling
that being a sexual person

is something I should be ashamed about.

At this point in time,

taking my sexuality
into my own hands is exactly what I need.

It's like a machine gun... Boom, boom, boom.

Yes, women can be sexual.

It's human. It's normal.

And it's fucking great.

Are those whips? [inhales sharply]

Can't say I'm not into it.

Wait, try it out.

[screams]

-[Keauno] Oh, my God.
-[both laugh]

-[Natalie] Wait. This is why I came here.
-[Keauno chuckles]

Hello, "Mr. Happy." We're here for you.

Dick-dicky-dick-dick.

Whoa. Do you hear that? It's going in.

Get bored of vibration,
flip to the penetration.

Which part goes in?

"MMA fighter"? Hell yeah. Knock me out.

[Keauno exclaims]

You think this is big enough?
That's good, right?

Whoa. "The Gladiator."

Whoa.

"Are you not entertained?"

I feel like I'm holding a kid.

[laughs]

I think you work your way down.

My worst fear is it going in
and coming out my mouth.

♪ Ooh, and we need that ♪

♪ Do it your way
No feedback ♪

♪ Never gotta force it
Lean back ♪

♪ But keep up
If you wanna be where we at... ♪

-[Natalie] Home sweet home.
-Hi!

-[Raquel] Yes.
-Abbey.

-You're back!
-[Natalie] What do we got?

-Boom.
-Toys.

-Suction?
-[Raquel] Smell the flowers.

-[Natalie] Here's the thing.
-Technology has come so far.

I'm excited.
You know what this means, ladies.

Once this happens, I'm a new woman.

[whistling]

Waking up. "Good morning, everyone!"

I'm gonna be Snow White with the animals
chirping everywhere. [vocalizing]

-[both laughing]
-A little bird perched on my finger.

Whoo-hoo.

-[chuckling]
-[laughs]

♪ Gonna start way down ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[bottle cap unscrewing]

Hey. Cheers.

Isha and I are getting closer.

I've never really kinda had
this vibe with a girl before,

but we haven't
even had our first kiss yet.

-You give me Berkeley vibes.
-Thank you. 'Cause I'm smart?

It's just your aesthetic is Berkeley.

Yeah. My socks do have cats on them.

-And the glasses.
-Yeah?

-It's nerdy.
-Hmm.

What was your first impression on me?

I don't know.

I thought you went to Berkeley.
So, I was just like,

"She's a lot smarter than me."

-Oh. I am.
-Yeah. You are.

What's really good
about my relationship with Michael is that

we could be doing the most mundane thing
and we have a good time together.

I really like his sense of humor.

And I feel happy,
really happy, around him.

I feel like I stare at you a lot.

I do catch you creeping. Just...

[smacks lips]

-You do?
-Mm-hmm.

You think it'll catch on fire?

[Isha] No.

Yeah. It's wood.

Don't touch it
till the end catches on fire.

It'll catch fire.

Nice.

Oh, my God. They're kissing.

[Michael chuckles]

[romantic music playing]

♪ Come on, let's run away from here ♪

♪ Get out of the atmosphere ♪

♪ Just us kids on the run... ♪

Oh, Michael, you taste sweet.

-Thank you.
-That's a good sign.

Do I taste like sushi?

Um... Oh, my God. That was our first kiss.

That was.

-Wow!
-It's kind of a big deal for us, huh?

-[gasps] That was our second kiss.
-[chuckles]

[both laughing]

[song continues]

♪ Wanna fall in ♪

♪ Lay your hand on my heart again ♪

♪ Like we did at the start of it ♪

♪ And when we're alone ♪

♪ I just wanna feel you close ♪

♪ So tell me what you think about ♪

♪ When you're inside your darkest hours ♪

♪ I'm moving through your soul away ♪

♪ Unless you give us a chance ♪

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