Turning the Tables with Robin Roberts (2021-…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Grace - full transcript
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I know all three of y'all. (CHUCKLES)
-You're the connector.
-I know.
-CHRISSY: You're the connector, Loni.
-Yes.
-Well, you should be sitting here then.
-LONI: No, no, no, no.
-KELLY: No, come on.
-No, no, no, lime green, okay? (CHUCKLES)
That didn't take long.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
ROBIN: Something really special happens
when women connect,
share, dream, and inspire each other.
This is Turning the Tables.
(THEME SONG CONCLUDES)
-Are you finally getting some downtime?
-No.
-(CHUCKLES)
-I'm just... I'm trying to learn
how to process,
like having my whole life change,
and then for six years,
and then like it stops.
And it's a whole new thing.
It's... it's a lot of emotions
I'm processing. Thank God for therapy.
(INHALES) And the access to it
'cause it's not been easy.
-It's really not been easy.
-What? What? What's been hard about it?
-What's...
-Don't get me crying already.
(INHALES) Who am I without the show?
And like, that's hard to process
because nobody really cared
about me until I was on a TV show.
Like, I remember being on a plane, right?
And people wouldn't wanna sit by me.
But now, that I'm on a TV show,
they're cool with it.
So, it's interesting.
It's very interesting
how people sort of navigate.
-I see how you're looking at her, Loni.
-Oh, well, you know,
I had a show that got cancelled.
Well, I had three this year. (CHUCKLES)
I can't...
It's like everything I did got cancelled.
But I had a long-term show.
Everybody knows the talk show, The Real.
It was eight, nine years of my life.
And, so, I know, you know, it was like
that getting up at 4:30 in the morning
and being able to, you know,
have this process.
But I will say that you've...
I found myself because you got to realize
I was something before The Real...
-CHRISSY: Right.
-...and I'm something after.
And that's the same thing
I have to say to you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah. Thank you.
-You know? And I see you.
I follow you on IG.
I see you singing, your concerts.
-You've got so much life now.
-Thank you!
Yeah, and I'm... I'm very grateful for it.
But it definitely has been a process
of who am I after...
-after such a beautiful show and...
-KELLY: Yeah.
-CHRISSY: ... you know?
-That's honest. That's honest.
I gotta be honest.
ROBIN: Yeah,
that's what we're here about.
Because there oftentimes
that I'm talking to,
you know, someone on the show,
and I'm like, "I mean,
I'm very interested about your project.
"But I want to know about you.
What's going on here?"
-Yeah.
-LONI: Right. Right.
You're so cool. I mean,
I see why you get information
out of people.
But you're not gonna get
too much out of me.
-Come on!
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
I just realized just how cool your job is.
It is a privilege.
It is a privilege, but so is motherhood.
-So excited.
-ROBIN: So is motherhood.
-Are you excited?
-I am so beyond over-the-moon excited.
And... just being able to share this
with my parents is amazing.
And it's funny because my... my boyfriend
is always on tour.
So, I've spent most of my pregnancy
just with my dad
'cause my mom's working,
and it's just me and my dad
sitting there,
and it's been the best bonding time,
and I'm learning so much from him
about, you know,
what to expect?
What's gonna happen next?
And it brought us so much closer together
and me and my mom so much closer together.
And it's...
LONI: Mm-hmm.
But I just thought, Ozzy Osbourne
is gonna be that baby's grandfather.
-Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLES) Can you imagine?
This kid's going to be so naughty.
-(CHUCKLES)
-This kid is gonna be so naughty.
I'm gonna have my hands full.
But I am... I'm so excited.
And you gonna do great.
I mean, I was just surprised
when they say, "Kelly is having a baby."
-I'm like, "Kelly? Osbourne?"
-Yeah, I didn't...
I thought the same thing
when I found out, too.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
Kelly? Uh, me Kelly?
(ALL CHUCKLE)
I thought the same thing.
I thought, you know, 'cause I'm 37,
I thought maybe
that wasn't gonna happen for me.
And...
it's weird how...
Exactly what I did.
What is your favorite thing
about life, right now? What's going on?
I love the fact that...
I started out as an engineer...
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-...and then I got into comedy,
became a talk show host,
and now, I'm going back to comedy.
My whole thing was always
to be an entertainer.
You know, where I grew up
in the Brewster Projects,
it was like, "Get you a job
'cause you need dental benefits."
-You know, your teeth hurt.
-Yeah.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CHUCKLES) It's like, "That's it."
So, I was always in this mode,
even as I became an entertainer,
-that I needed a... a steady job.
-Let's unpack something right here.
-You were an electric engineer.
-(CHUCKLES) Yes.
-Okay.
-Yes.
How do you go from that
to where you are now?
When you unhappy... (CHUCKLES)
...you find yourself real quick.
-(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
-I was an engineer for eight years,
and I was the worst engineer
in the United States of America.
I was like taking naps.
I was doing all kind of things.
But then I was not happy
because, you know, I had this great job,
which I was grateful for.
And then, you know
what they put on women.
"Oh, now, you have a great job.
Now, you need to get married.
-"You need to have children."
-Yeah.
LONI: And I just wasn't feeling that.
And, so, I kind of dibble-dabbled
in standup in college,
And, so, I decided to get back into it.
And, so, it took me like five years
of working as an engineer during the day,
and I was doing comedy at night,
and finally got my first deal.
The day after, I went to my job
and we had a major layoff.
And I went to my boss. I said,
"Please save a job, lay me off
'cause I have a deal with HBO."
-ROBIN: Oh, wow.
-And I never looked back.
-Never.
-Oh, you saved someone's job.
-That's right.
-LONI: Yeah. Yeah.
And my boss thought I was crazy.
He was like, "You..." (CHUCKLES)
"...are you sure?
"You're gonna lose your dental benefits."
-I was like, "It'll be fine."
-KELLY: I'm good. Yeah.
What is it about you and dental benefits?
'Cause your teeth--
my mom always put into me.
"Make sure your teeth are good, okay?"
(CHUCKLES)
I love that we all
have different backgrounds, you know?
And the way that we have found
our... our... our path.
How has your artistry evolved
in your career?
You know, it's even hard
for me to say I'm an artist.
-Why?
-You know, but then I think,
"If we create, we're artists."
So, like everybody's an artist, right?
If we create whatever it is,
a spreadsheet, if we create music,
if we create a television show,
you know, like we all are artists.
But it's hard.
I think because I didn't get to go
to Juilliard or Tisch
or any of these fancy schools,
and I was a talent agent,
you know, an assistant.
And then I became an agent,
and then I'm like,
"And do I deserve to be like an artist?"
-And, so, you know...
-I feel the same way.
-I totally understand...
-Do you? Okay.
...where you're coming from
when you say that. Like, I 100 percent do.
Coming from a family
where people just assume
that it's been so easy for me
because of who my parents are.
That I didn't have to work
for any of it or find my own way
or be talented in anything that,
you know,
I've been in movies
and I struggle to call myself an actress.
I've done Broadway.
Not Broadway, sorry.
West End, which is the English version.
I still struggle
to call myself an actress.
I, you know, I... I had three albums,
and I still can't call myself
a singer and...
-"Papa Don't Preach." I remember that one.
-Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, my gosh. Kelly? (CHUCKLES)
-Go, Kelly!
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
So, it's like all of these things
that I condemned myself for
and I got in my own way,
and I stopped singing because of it.
And I stopped creating because of it.
And its only now
that through, you know, sobriety
and being clearheaded
and... and, you know,
for lack of a better term...
Yes.
You talk about your albums,
your acting and all that.
What of those is closer to your heart?
Like, when you're talking
about all of those, is there...
is there one part of your artistry
-that you...
-I would say Fashion Police.
-Oh, yeah.
-And that's why I also really identify
with what you're saying was like,
what are you when you leave something
that is, you know, Joan Rivers helped me
figure out who I was
and what I wanna be as a woman.
And having that sort of mentor
every single day,
and then all of a sudden having the rug
ripped out from underneath you.
I... I went real crazy for a while.
Like it was really, really, really hard
to come back from all of that
when you, you finally think,
"Wow, this is... this is me.
"I'm comfortable in myself
for the first time in my life."
-So, when she passed and that...
-When she passed...
-Your mentor left?
-I just couldn't do it without her.
And then realizing
that it was my time to move on.
But what was I without that?
It's only just recently now that I'm like,
"Well, I got the best
five and a half years of education
"that you could have ever asked
for doing that show."
And it's interesting how you all...
you know, you said,
"Well, I didn't go to Juilliard,
"and I didn't have the education
of a true artist or whatnot."
-I grew up in the Projects.
-What? (CHUCKLES)
I grew up in a trailer park,
so I understand.
I... but I... this is what I love.
-It's not a single path...
-CHRISSY: Right.
-...to get to where...
-That's right.
ROBIN: ...you... you... you wanna be.
Have you ever felt pressure
to kind of perform
a version of yourself to please people?
Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely.
Early on, I was like you.
Early on in my career,
I didn't know who I was.
I was trying to be everybody else.
And that's why it's important
when we talk about being inclusive
and having different representations
of women, especially in entertainment.
Back then, this is before,
like I said, you know, social media.
I didn't have anybody to go to.
I couldn't go online.
It's like, you know, I'm... I'm archaic.
-So, it's like...
-(CHUCKLES)
...it was like basically,
you had to go find books
-back then, Kelly.
-Come on, come on.
-LONI: You had to find. You had to read.
-You get up to the library.
-You have to go to a library.
-KELLY: I had my Encyclopedia...
-Dewey decimal system.
-KELLY: ...Britannica for everything.
(CHUCKLES)
There was no internet
when I was in school either.
Yeah, yeah, but, you know,
that's the thing.
When you're trying to find yourself,
you don't know.
I remember reading a book
by Diana Ross.
And then I started reading biographies.
And that's... that's what showed me
that, you know what?
Using their example,
I could relate to some of the things
that they were going through
that I couldn't find answers to.
And, so, eventually, I was able to work.
And...
And I just kept, you know, like,
if I fall back down, I get back up.
If I bombed one night,
I get right back on the stage
that next night.
And I have to say,
having women as mentors
and having really strong, you know,
women as mentors,
and I think that's something
that we are missing out on.
So, that's why I like
this type of conversation.
-Yeah.
-Because you were my mentor.
-I would see you...
-Oh, thank you.
...you know, all the time.
Good Morning...
I'm like, "She's just so classy."
-Yeah.
-She's just so...
-You know, you make us proud.
-Thank you. I appreciate that.
-No. No.
-No, but that's what you would do.
And it's like,
I know it had to be hard for you.
So, I was like, "You know,
what did you have to go through?"
Like, on network television,
this Black woman.
And then, you know, you came out
and I was just like...
-"Come on, Robin!"
-Yeah.
-I know.
-"Come on!"
-(CHUCKLES)
-Thank you for saying that. And it's...
and sometimes,
it's harder to forgive my...
-I can forgive someone else like that.
-LONI: Yeah.
-But forgiving myself.
-Oh, yeah.
And not... And I... I just
what you all were saying...
At the beginning when you said
you don't think of yourself as an artist,
I didn't think of myself as a journalist.
I was like,
"Oh, I just like... I just like sports."
I was, you know, that's why
I became a journalist, sports.
And then the shift happened.
-I love storytelling.
-KELLY: Yeah.
-I am... I'm a doggone good journalist.
-You sure are.
I love what I do.
And I've had to just kind of just
accept, and just go, "I belong."
I remember Michelle Obama.
Here, this woman, you know,
two Ivy League degrees,
former First Lady,
and she had the imposter syndrome.
I'm like, "What chance do we have?"
-If she feels... if she feels that.
-(CHUCKLES) Slim to none.
-ROBIN: Yeah, it's slim to none.
-But no, it is inspiring.
What is the nugget...
that you feel could help somebody?
As you just said, reading helped you.
You know, for me and I'm still living it
every single day
that I do not take anything personally.
And it's definitely had, you know,
to be cultivated and practiced.
Because if somebody cuts me off
in the middle of the road,
I'm like, "I'm not driving right?
Or they hate me?"
Or, like, and I'm like, "Chrissy,
it has nothing to do with you.
"Maybe they're rushing
and they woke up late
and like it's just not personal." And...
-Mm-hmm.
-CHRISSY: So, like, you just can't
take it personally. But it's hard not to
'cause I'm a people pleaser.
I'm working on that, i.e. therapy.
But, yeah, I just... For me,
it's just not taking things personally.
-Mm-hmm. You know, goodbye.
-Yeah, that's hard for me.
-Yeah, me, too.
-You know, it's your...
-Oh, no. I said it's a practice.
-LONI: Okay.
A daily practice 'cause it's...
I'm a people pleaser.
And I... I want everybody to be happy,
and I want them to know I like them.
And I wanna, you know, I...
-I was the entertaining diplomat...
-KELLY: Are you the kind of...
-...in my family, so.
-...person that when someone
-bumps into you, you say, sorry?
-Correct.
-Same. (CHUCKLES)
-CHRISSY: Yes, yes.
They bump into you,
but you're saying sorry?
-LONI: Yeah. Yeah.
-Oh, sorry.
-And they don't even apologize.
-KELLY: Yeah.
They just keep it moving.
And you're like, "Oh, okay."
Well, sometimes, and...
'cause you touched on it earlier, is...
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-Which is really hard.
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-But if everything comes from love,
like that's where I just always
try to, like, live.
Live in love. And it's... again,
hard, especially when someone might,
you know, bump into you or say something
that might have hurt your feelings.
And then you're like,
"Oh, I can't take it personally."
-It's a practice. Yeah. Yeah.
-It is a practice.
-But you're doing it well.
-Oh, Loni. So are you.
The nugget that I try to tell people
is...
ROBIN: Hmm.
-Yes.
-LONI: And use those flaws
to help you get through life. You know?
I think so many times we see these
so-called examples of the perfect person.
-There's no perfect person.
-Yeah.
There's no perfect woman.
But whatever your own personal flaw is
embrace it, and try to use it
to help you get through life.
So, like for me, it was like,
"I'm this plus-size Black woman.
"I love to wear wigs.
"I'm starting to use it.
I'm not gonna be embarrassed."
People used to say, "Don't switch.
Don't, you know, don't turn your wig.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-"Don't. Don't.
"Don't do that. Don't do that." I'm like,
"Who care? It's a wig. It's okay!
"It's a wig. You turn it back.
You go like this."
-You know, it's like... It's not...
-ROBIN: It's all good.
-You know what I mean? It's like...
-It's all good.
People go, "Oh, wow. She's funny.
She's this. She's that."
And I'm like,
"I'm just embracing who I am."
I'm a funny comedian,
so if you get me,
you're gonna get the comedian.
So, I may do anything.
And I had to learn that that was okay.
I'm not going to let one person tell me,
"You can't do it
because you are this way."
-ROBIN: Hmm.
-Yeah. I stopped doing that.
And I tell that to anybody.
"Take your flaws, embrace it, and use it."
I'm telling you...
-CHRISSY: That's so beautiful.
-You know, it's true.
LONI: What do you feel
like your struggles are?
Oh, my gosh. Life!
-Yeah.
-ROBIN: Just, I mean...
-Life on life's terms.
-Exactly.
-I had two health challenges.
-Right.
My partner is going
through breast cancer right now.
And, you know, to watch a loved one,
it's one thing
when I was going through it,
-but to see her, it's been hard.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
It's been a real struggle.
But look, I am blessed and highly favored.
-That's right.
-I am.
I am not complaining one iota,
but I think it's important for people
'cause they see us.
And they go,
"You don't have any problems."
-CHRISSY: I know.
-Thank you!
-And I go like, "Are you kidding me?"
-You're like, "No, but I'm still human."
Like, we just have different jobs,
but we're still human.
And that, that is really hard.
-That can be difficult. And then...
-I think that they...
I think that we are put in this position
for a reason.
-Hmm.
-I remember when, you know,
you had your first diagnosis
and I was so worried.
-Thank you.
-And I, like, the prayers and the things.
And what you have shown
is being a true survivor.
-ROBIN: Thank you.
-To still be able to survive,
to still be able to work,
to still be able to flourish.
-Thrive, yes.
-I wanted to show people what it's like
-to live with cancer.
-Right.
What it is to work and live with cancer.
I had wigs on, too.
-(CHUCKLES)
-I didn't turn mine on sideways.
But, you know, I had... I have...
But I realized I was putting on a wig
'cause I wanted to put the public at ease.
-CHRISSY: Oh.
-I was fine. I got a nice-shaped head.
-KELLY: You sure do.
-I know.
But I... I felt that here again.
Even in my sickness,
-I was trying to please others.
-LONI: Wow.
-Trying to make them feel comfortable.
-LONI: Wow.
So, what's that nugget for you, Kelly?
For me, it's that...
-CHRISSY: Mm-hmm.
-Amen.
-KELLY: That every mistake you made,
if... if you stop, there's a reason why
you got back up again.
It's so that you can look at that,
reflect on it,
and... and learn something from it.
Because my mistakes,
and I've made some big ones,
have really shaped me for who I am. And...
it's like, it's the only way
that I... I can learn.
And know that I wanna be a better person
is from my mistakes.
-And we're all gonna make 'em.
-Mm-hmm.
-'Cause no one's perfect, like you said.
-CHRISSY: Right.
Well, how boring would that be?
-To be perfect?
-KELLY: Yeah.
And then we wouldn't learn the lessons
-that we need to learn.
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
-Exactly.
Well, what comes to mind?
What feelings come to mind
when I say forgiveness?
What's... what's the feelings?
(EXHALES) Well, initially, you know,
I think it's resentment.
Like, it begins sort of
with the resentment that you hold.
It's like when they say, you...
you're holding on to resentment
is like drinking the poison, and expecting
the other person to get sick.
-You're like, "Oh, it's..."
-Ooh!
"...not hurting anybody, but you."
And, so, you're like,
"Oh, where's the forgiveness?"
And I think it's really for yourself.
And if that's where it starts, amazing.
And I think that gives the grace
of being able to forgive someone else
for whatever they might have done.
Because I truly believe that...
-ROBIN: Hmm.
I really, really believe that,
like innately, we're all good.
And we are troubled,
and we have things that we go through,
and, you know, lessons,
and all sorts of things that can make...
You know, you meet somebody
in a wrong time
and you're like, "Oh," but, they...
you know, forgiveness is, is a practice.
But it's also, really,
I think, for yourself,
but also, so necessary for your healing.
But...
-And that's uncomfortable.
-Ooh.
-So, you know?
-It took me a long time to understand,
what you said about,
forgiveness is for you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-It's not for the person
or for the thing that happened.
-CHRISSY: Right.
-As I'm still working on it.
-CHRISSY: Same. Same.
-ROBIN: Hmm.
-'Cause I'm like, "You know what?"
-CHRISSY: Yeah, I'm pissed.
-I could forgive.
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLING) Yeah, I'm still angry.
-But I'm not gonna forget.
-ROBIN: I know. I've seen that.
-(CHUCKLES) But that's honest.
-When you're doing...
When you're doing this, like...
-LONI: It's honest.
-When you pop...
when you're popping your head,
that tells you...
Well, they say you can, you know,
you definitely can forgive,
but you're not gonna forget. Like...
-LONI: Mm-hmm.
You don't have to invite them
to lunch, right?
-Exactly.
-Right.
Because sometimes you don't wanna forgive
'cause you feel like,
"I'm letting you off the hook."
-CHRISSY: Correct.
-No, you're letting yourself off the hook.
You're not letting that person
off the hook.
I've had some people
that I have interviewed over the years,
and I'll never forget Judge Esther Salas.
Her son was killed at their doorstep.
-KELLY: Oh, gosh.
-The person wanted to kill her,
-but killed the son who answered the door.
-(KELLY GASPS)
And it was a few months later,
and I was talking to her...
and she was talking
how she had forgiven this person
who took her only child, her son,
her only child.
And she looked sweetly,
and she was so sincere.
She said, "Robin, love is light.
-"Hate is heavy."
-Yeah.
ROBIN: And I love how we keep going back
to the word grace.
What does grace mean to y'all?
(EXHALES) I think it's the space between,
you know, deciding like, "Oh, okay, I'm...
I'm, might not be completely ready
"to forgive." But I'm giving myself
the grace to, like, be in the space
that I'm in. Accept and surrender.
And giving that person,
you know, that their space,
whatever that space might look like.
But it is difficult. You know, like, it...
-(GROANS)
-Yeah, it is.
I look at grace as, you know,
giving yourself a little time.
-Hmm.
-A little time to work something through
to... to get something through in life,
-so that you can move on, and...
-Yeah.
...and get to your next point.
-Yeah. And for you, Kelly?
-I don't think I could have said that
-any better myself, to be honest.
-ROBIN: Agreed.
-You should've started with Loni.
-(ALL CHUCKLES)
They always say, you know,
you got to learn
to give yourself some grace.
You've gotta learn to sit there,
and sit in a moment of uncomfortability,
and allow yourself to feel
whatever it is you're feeling,
and not try and control it and...
-Yeah.
-And it, you know, it's something
that only in the last, I wanna say,
14, 15 months of my life have I
-even allowed myself to have.
-Wow.
And it's one of the greatest lessons
I've ever learned.
And it's about learning
to have patience with yourself, too.
-Yeah.
-ROBIN: Yeah.
Looking back, and there's so many times,
and, maybe you all do this, too,
and I'm like, "I cannot believe I allowed
myself to...
"to feel this way. I can't believe
I allowed someone to treat me."
-And...
-CHRISSY: Cool.
-Story of my life.
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLING) Oh, God.
-Story of my life.
-Why do you say that?
Because growing up,
I really didn't feel heard.
I never felt seen.
And I realized that like
in my adulthood that...
I... If I don't value myself,
I don't love myself,
I surely can't tell somebody else
how to love or value me.
-ROBIN: Uh-huh.
-And boundaries
are for me, and not for the other person.
So, typically it makes them uncomfortable.
And then making somebody uncomfortable
makes me uncomfortable,
and I'm like,
"Oh, my gosh, it's overwhelming."
But then I realized like,
"Nobody's going to respect me
"if A, I don't respect myself,
but also if they don't know
"because I haven't taught them." Okay.
-That's on...
-That's on me.
-ROBIN: Exactly.
-Yeah.
What do you do... each of you,
to keep a firm grip
on knowing exactly who you are?
You know... I... I am right now,
in the process of studying mindfulness.
Just taking that time to myself
and getting my mind and...
and the stillness,
it has really helped me.
It's really helped me to focus a lot more.
It's helped me to... to be patient.
That... that's what worked for me.
It was mindfulness,
-and just sitting...
-ROBIN: I love that.
...and being quiet. You know?
My Grandma Sally called it "quiet time."
-LONI: Yeah.
-And it is.
And people think like,
"I can't... I can't quiet my mind."
-LONI: Mm-hmm.
-No, you can. You...
I don't like that word, "You can't."
-I can't. I can't.
-LONI: Exactly.
I don't understand that. Try it!
-Maybe it doesn't...
-Well, some days it's hard for me.
-'Cause I'm like...
-ROBIN: Thank you!
-ROBIN: You need to practice. (CHUCKLES)
-I be like, "Would you stop?"
-You know, what's interesting is, like...
-It's coming at you.
...lawyers and doctors,
they have a practice.
-KELLY: Yeah.
-They're practicing.
They're... they don't know everything,
and we don't know everything.
So, sitting in the mindfulness
or having it on a daily basis,
-like, "Oh, we're just practicing it."
-ALL: Mm-hmm.
And having grace around it
and having, you know?
It's, it's a whole... It's all together.
But it's, it is tricky
'cause your mind starts to wander
and it starts to race
and you're like, "No, no.
"I'm coming back,
coming back, coming back."
How do you all determine when a space
is not for you? That, hmm.
-For me, it's about energy.
-It's a feeling, I was just about to say.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-Yeah.
For me, it's about any space
where I'm not allowed to be myself
-I don't wanna be.
-ROBIN: Yes.
And that... that's I realize that
that's not a safe place for me
mentally, physically,
emotionally, all of it.
Because... I... I've had to fight hard,
and come from hell and back
just to learn to accept myself,
and... and be who I am,
and I'm not perfect.
I'm not the prettiest girl in the room.
I'm not the smartest girl in the room.
But...
And it's...
it's something
that no one can take away from you.
Like, once you figure that out,
and you're comfortable in your own skin,
which takes work,
and it is a constant daily practice.
You...
you won't let anyone
take that away from you again.
I often say to each person...
LONI: Hmm.
-You are a limited edition.
-I love that.
-And, so, are you.
-Oh, thank you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-Thank you, Chrissy.
But that's how I feel
that we each are that way.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-And what I love
about having these conversations
like, "This has been wonderful."
-LONI: Yeah.
-You know, it's just like you...
-It's... (SIGHS)
-Yeah.
We're gonna walk away
feeling real therapized and inspired.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Yeah.
-LONI: But they're necessary.
-I won't send you a bill either.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Okay.
-It's on the house. It's on the house.
-Thank you.
These conversations are necessary,
and I don't think we have them enough.
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
-We do not have them enough.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-We do not have them enough.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-But we had it today.
-I know, and I'm grateful.
And, so, thank you for affording me
your grace.
Are we getting kicked out now?
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
-LONI: Is that what you doing?
(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Loni.
-She said, "You can stay."
Oh, I just noticed your kicks.
Look at those sparkles.
-KELLY: Oh, those are good.
-ROBIN: Oh, come on.
-CHRISSY: Oh, yes.
-LONI: Come on.
Flats for days.
-All the time.
-All the time.
-I got a whole...
-All I can wear is these shoes
-and Birkenstocks right now.
-...closet full of 'em.
Like literally I put my foot
in a shoe and I'm like,
"How is..."
I, like... I walk around my house
barefoot all day
because it's just way more comfortable.
-Barefoot and pregnant. (CHUCKLES)
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-LONI: Love it.
---
I know all three of y'all. (CHUCKLES)
-You're the connector.
-I know.
-CHRISSY: You're the connector, Loni.
-Yes.
-Well, you should be sitting here then.
-LONI: No, no, no, no.
-KELLY: No, come on.
-No, no, no, lime green, okay? (CHUCKLES)
That didn't take long.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
ROBIN: Something really special happens
when women connect,
share, dream, and inspire each other.
This is Turning the Tables.
(THEME SONG CONCLUDES)
-Are you finally getting some downtime?
-No.
-(CHUCKLES)
-I'm just... I'm trying to learn
how to process,
like having my whole life change,
and then for six years,
and then like it stops.
And it's a whole new thing.
It's... it's a lot of emotions
I'm processing. Thank God for therapy.
(INHALES) And the access to it
'cause it's not been easy.
-It's really not been easy.
-What? What? What's been hard about it?
-What's...
-Don't get me crying already.
(INHALES) Who am I without the show?
And like, that's hard to process
because nobody really cared
about me until I was on a TV show.
Like, I remember being on a plane, right?
And people wouldn't wanna sit by me.
But now, that I'm on a TV show,
they're cool with it.
So, it's interesting.
It's very interesting
how people sort of navigate.
-I see how you're looking at her, Loni.
-Oh, well, you know,
I had a show that got cancelled.
Well, I had three this year. (CHUCKLES)
I can't...
It's like everything I did got cancelled.
But I had a long-term show.
Everybody knows the talk show, The Real.
It was eight, nine years of my life.
And, so, I know, you know, it was like
that getting up at 4:30 in the morning
and being able to, you know,
have this process.
But I will say that you've...
I found myself because you got to realize
I was something before The Real...
-CHRISSY: Right.
-...and I'm something after.
And that's the same thing
I have to say to you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah. Thank you.
-You know? And I see you.
I follow you on IG.
I see you singing, your concerts.
-You've got so much life now.
-Thank you!
Yeah, and I'm... I'm very grateful for it.
But it definitely has been a process
of who am I after...
-after such a beautiful show and...
-KELLY: Yeah.
-CHRISSY: ... you know?
-That's honest. That's honest.
I gotta be honest.
ROBIN: Yeah,
that's what we're here about.
Because there oftentimes
that I'm talking to,
you know, someone on the show,
and I'm like, "I mean,
I'm very interested about your project.
"But I want to know about you.
What's going on here?"
-Yeah.
-LONI: Right. Right.
You're so cool. I mean,
I see why you get information
out of people.
But you're not gonna get
too much out of me.
-Come on!
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
I just realized just how cool your job is.
It is a privilege.
It is a privilege, but so is motherhood.
-So excited.
-ROBIN: So is motherhood.
-Are you excited?
-I am so beyond over-the-moon excited.
And... just being able to share this
with my parents is amazing.
And it's funny because my... my boyfriend
is always on tour.
So, I've spent most of my pregnancy
just with my dad
'cause my mom's working,
and it's just me and my dad
sitting there,
and it's been the best bonding time,
and I'm learning so much from him
about, you know,
what to expect?
What's gonna happen next?
And it brought us so much closer together
and me and my mom so much closer together.
And it's...
LONI: Mm-hmm.
But I just thought, Ozzy Osbourne
is gonna be that baby's grandfather.
-Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLES) Can you imagine?
This kid's going to be so naughty.
-(CHUCKLES)
-This kid is gonna be so naughty.
I'm gonna have my hands full.
But I am... I'm so excited.
And you gonna do great.
I mean, I was just surprised
when they say, "Kelly is having a baby."
-I'm like, "Kelly? Osbourne?"
-Yeah, I didn't...
I thought the same thing
when I found out, too.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
Kelly? Uh, me Kelly?
(ALL CHUCKLE)
I thought the same thing.
I thought, you know, 'cause I'm 37,
I thought maybe
that wasn't gonna happen for me.
And...
it's weird how...
Exactly what I did.
What is your favorite thing
about life, right now? What's going on?
I love the fact that...
I started out as an engineer...
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-...and then I got into comedy,
became a talk show host,
and now, I'm going back to comedy.
My whole thing was always
to be an entertainer.
You know, where I grew up
in the Brewster Projects,
it was like, "Get you a job
'cause you need dental benefits."
-You know, your teeth hurt.
-Yeah.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CHUCKLES) It's like, "That's it."
So, I was always in this mode,
even as I became an entertainer,
-that I needed a... a steady job.
-Let's unpack something right here.
-You were an electric engineer.
-(CHUCKLES) Yes.
-Okay.
-Yes.
How do you go from that
to where you are now?
When you unhappy... (CHUCKLES)
...you find yourself real quick.
-(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
-I was an engineer for eight years,
and I was the worst engineer
in the United States of America.
I was like taking naps.
I was doing all kind of things.
But then I was not happy
because, you know, I had this great job,
which I was grateful for.
And then, you know
what they put on women.
"Oh, now, you have a great job.
Now, you need to get married.
-"You need to have children."
-Yeah.
LONI: And I just wasn't feeling that.
And, so, I kind of dibble-dabbled
in standup in college,
And, so, I decided to get back into it.
And, so, it took me like five years
of working as an engineer during the day,
and I was doing comedy at night,
and finally got my first deal.
The day after, I went to my job
and we had a major layoff.
And I went to my boss. I said,
"Please save a job, lay me off
'cause I have a deal with HBO."
-ROBIN: Oh, wow.
-And I never looked back.
-Never.
-Oh, you saved someone's job.
-That's right.
-LONI: Yeah. Yeah.
And my boss thought I was crazy.
He was like, "You..." (CHUCKLES)
"...are you sure?
"You're gonna lose your dental benefits."
-I was like, "It'll be fine."
-KELLY: I'm good. Yeah.
What is it about you and dental benefits?
'Cause your teeth--
my mom always put into me.
"Make sure your teeth are good, okay?"
(CHUCKLES)
I love that we all
have different backgrounds, you know?
And the way that we have found
our... our... our path.
How has your artistry evolved
in your career?
You know, it's even hard
for me to say I'm an artist.
-Why?
-You know, but then I think,
"If we create, we're artists."
So, like everybody's an artist, right?
If we create whatever it is,
a spreadsheet, if we create music,
if we create a television show,
you know, like we all are artists.
But it's hard.
I think because I didn't get to go
to Juilliard or Tisch
or any of these fancy schools,
and I was a talent agent,
you know, an assistant.
And then I became an agent,
and then I'm like,
"And do I deserve to be like an artist?"
-And, so, you know...
-I feel the same way.
-I totally understand...
-Do you? Okay.
...where you're coming from
when you say that. Like, I 100 percent do.
Coming from a family
where people just assume
that it's been so easy for me
because of who my parents are.
That I didn't have to work
for any of it or find my own way
or be talented in anything that,
you know,
I've been in movies
and I struggle to call myself an actress.
I've done Broadway.
Not Broadway, sorry.
West End, which is the English version.
I still struggle
to call myself an actress.
I, you know, I... I had three albums,
and I still can't call myself
a singer and...
-"Papa Don't Preach." I remember that one.
-Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, my gosh. Kelly? (CHUCKLES)
-Go, Kelly!
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
So, it's like all of these things
that I condemned myself for
and I got in my own way,
and I stopped singing because of it.
And I stopped creating because of it.
And its only now
that through, you know, sobriety
and being clearheaded
and... and, you know,
for lack of a better term...
Yes.
You talk about your albums,
your acting and all that.
What of those is closer to your heart?
Like, when you're talking
about all of those, is there...
is there one part of your artistry
-that you...
-I would say Fashion Police.
-Oh, yeah.
-And that's why I also really identify
with what you're saying was like,
what are you when you leave something
that is, you know, Joan Rivers helped me
figure out who I was
and what I wanna be as a woman.
And having that sort of mentor
every single day,
and then all of a sudden having the rug
ripped out from underneath you.
I... I went real crazy for a while.
Like it was really, really, really hard
to come back from all of that
when you, you finally think,
"Wow, this is... this is me.
"I'm comfortable in myself
for the first time in my life."
-So, when she passed and that...
-When she passed...
-Your mentor left?
-I just couldn't do it without her.
And then realizing
that it was my time to move on.
But what was I without that?
It's only just recently now that I'm like,
"Well, I got the best
five and a half years of education
"that you could have ever asked
for doing that show."
And it's interesting how you all...
you know, you said,
"Well, I didn't go to Juilliard,
"and I didn't have the education
of a true artist or whatnot."
-I grew up in the Projects.
-What? (CHUCKLES)
I grew up in a trailer park,
so I understand.
I... but I... this is what I love.
-It's not a single path...
-CHRISSY: Right.
-...to get to where...
-That's right.
ROBIN: ...you... you... you wanna be.
Have you ever felt pressure
to kind of perform
a version of yourself to please people?
Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely.
Early on, I was like you.
Early on in my career,
I didn't know who I was.
I was trying to be everybody else.
And that's why it's important
when we talk about being inclusive
and having different representations
of women, especially in entertainment.
Back then, this is before,
like I said, you know, social media.
I didn't have anybody to go to.
I couldn't go online.
It's like, you know, I'm... I'm archaic.
-So, it's like...
-(CHUCKLES)
...it was like basically,
you had to go find books
-back then, Kelly.
-Come on, come on.
-LONI: You had to find. You had to read.
-You get up to the library.
-You have to go to a library.
-KELLY: I had my Encyclopedia...
-Dewey decimal system.
-KELLY: ...Britannica for everything.
(CHUCKLES)
There was no internet
when I was in school either.
Yeah, yeah, but, you know,
that's the thing.
When you're trying to find yourself,
you don't know.
I remember reading a book
by Diana Ross.
And then I started reading biographies.
And that's... that's what showed me
that, you know what?
Using their example,
I could relate to some of the things
that they were going through
that I couldn't find answers to.
And, so, eventually, I was able to work.
And...
And I just kept, you know, like,
if I fall back down, I get back up.
If I bombed one night,
I get right back on the stage
that next night.
And I have to say,
having women as mentors
and having really strong, you know,
women as mentors,
and I think that's something
that we are missing out on.
So, that's why I like
this type of conversation.
-Yeah.
-Because you were my mentor.
-I would see you...
-Oh, thank you.
...you know, all the time.
Good Morning...
I'm like, "She's just so classy."
-Yeah.
-She's just so...
-You know, you make us proud.
-Thank you. I appreciate that.
-No. No.
-No, but that's what you would do.
And it's like,
I know it had to be hard for you.
So, I was like, "You know,
what did you have to go through?"
Like, on network television,
this Black woman.
And then, you know, you came out
and I was just like...
-"Come on, Robin!"
-Yeah.
-I know.
-"Come on!"
-(CHUCKLES)
-Thank you for saying that. And it's...
and sometimes,
it's harder to forgive my...
-I can forgive someone else like that.
-LONI: Yeah.
-But forgiving myself.
-Oh, yeah.
And not... And I... I just
what you all were saying...
At the beginning when you said
you don't think of yourself as an artist,
I didn't think of myself as a journalist.
I was like,
"Oh, I just like... I just like sports."
I was, you know, that's why
I became a journalist, sports.
And then the shift happened.
-I love storytelling.
-KELLY: Yeah.
-I am... I'm a doggone good journalist.
-You sure are.
I love what I do.
And I've had to just kind of just
accept, and just go, "I belong."
I remember Michelle Obama.
Here, this woman, you know,
two Ivy League degrees,
former First Lady,
and she had the imposter syndrome.
I'm like, "What chance do we have?"
-If she feels... if she feels that.
-(CHUCKLES) Slim to none.
-ROBIN: Yeah, it's slim to none.
-But no, it is inspiring.
What is the nugget...
that you feel could help somebody?
As you just said, reading helped you.
You know, for me and I'm still living it
every single day
that I do not take anything personally.
And it's definitely had, you know,
to be cultivated and practiced.
Because if somebody cuts me off
in the middle of the road,
I'm like, "I'm not driving right?
Or they hate me?"
Or, like, and I'm like, "Chrissy,
it has nothing to do with you.
"Maybe they're rushing
and they woke up late
and like it's just not personal." And...
-Mm-hmm.
-CHRISSY: So, like, you just can't
take it personally. But it's hard not to
'cause I'm a people pleaser.
I'm working on that, i.e. therapy.
But, yeah, I just... For me,
it's just not taking things personally.
-Mm-hmm. You know, goodbye.
-Yeah, that's hard for me.
-Yeah, me, too.
-You know, it's your...
-Oh, no. I said it's a practice.
-LONI: Okay.
A daily practice 'cause it's...
I'm a people pleaser.
And I... I want everybody to be happy,
and I want them to know I like them.
And I wanna, you know, I...
-I was the entertaining diplomat...
-KELLY: Are you the kind of...
-...in my family, so.
-...person that when someone
-bumps into you, you say, sorry?
-Correct.
-Same. (CHUCKLES)
-CHRISSY: Yes, yes.
They bump into you,
but you're saying sorry?
-LONI: Yeah. Yeah.
-Oh, sorry.
-And they don't even apologize.
-KELLY: Yeah.
They just keep it moving.
And you're like, "Oh, okay."
Well, sometimes, and...
'cause you touched on it earlier, is...
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-Which is really hard.
-KELLY: Mm-hmm.
-But if everything comes from love,
like that's where I just always
try to, like, live.
Live in love. And it's... again,
hard, especially when someone might,
you know, bump into you or say something
that might have hurt your feelings.
And then you're like,
"Oh, I can't take it personally."
-It's a practice. Yeah. Yeah.
-It is a practice.
-But you're doing it well.
-Oh, Loni. So are you.
The nugget that I try to tell people
is...
ROBIN: Hmm.
-Yes.
-LONI: And use those flaws
to help you get through life. You know?
I think so many times we see these
so-called examples of the perfect person.
-There's no perfect person.
-Yeah.
There's no perfect woman.
But whatever your own personal flaw is
embrace it, and try to use it
to help you get through life.
So, like for me, it was like,
"I'm this plus-size Black woman.
"I love to wear wigs.
"I'm starting to use it.
I'm not gonna be embarrassed."
People used to say, "Don't switch.
Don't, you know, don't turn your wig.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-"Don't. Don't.
"Don't do that. Don't do that." I'm like,
"Who care? It's a wig. It's okay!
"It's a wig. You turn it back.
You go like this."
-You know, it's like... It's not...
-ROBIN: It's all good.
-You know what I mean? It's like...
-It's all good.
People go, "Oh, wow. She's funny.
She's this. She's that."
And I'm like,
"I'm just embracing who I am."
I'm a funny comedian,
so if you get me,
you're gonna get the comedian.
So, I may do anything.
And I had to learn that that was okay.
I'm not going to let one person tell me,
"You can't do it
because you are this way."
-ROBIN: Hmm.
-Yeah. I stopped doing that.
And I tell that to anybody.
"Take your flaws, embrace it, and use it."
I'm telling you...
-CHRISSY: That's so beautiful.
-You know, it's true.
LONI: What do you feel
like your struggles are?
Oh, my gosh. Life!
-Yeah.
-ROBIN: Just, I mean...
-Life on life's terms.
-Exactly.
-I had two health challenges.
-Right.
My partner is going
through breast cancer right now.
And, you know, to watch a loved one,
it's one thing
when I was going through it,
-but to see her, it's been hard.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
It's been a real struggle.
But look, I am blessed and highly favored.
-That's right.
-I am.
I am not complaining one iota,
but I think it's important for people
'cause they see us.
And they go,
"You don't have any problems."
-CHRISSY: I know.
-Thank you!
-And I go like, "Are you kidding me?"
-You're like, "No, but I'm still human."
Like, we just have different jobs,
but we're still human.
And that, that is really hard.
-That can be difficult. And then...
-I think that they...
I think that we are put in this position
for a reason.
-Hmm.
-I remember when, you know,
you had your first diagnosis
and I was so worried.
-Thank you.
-And I, like, the prayers and the things.
And what you have shown
is being a true survivor.
-ROBIN: Thank you.
-To still be able to survive,
to still be able to work,
to still be able to flourish.
-Thrive, yes.
-I wanted to show people what it's like
-to live with cancer.
-Right.
What it is to work and live with cancer.
I had wigs on, too.
-(CHUCKLES)
-I didn't turn mine on sideways.
But, you know, I had... I have...
But I realized I was putting on a wig
'cause I wanted to put the public at ease.
-CHRISSY: Oh.
-I was fine. I got a nice-shaped head.
-KELLY: You sure do.
-I know.
But I... I felt that here again.
Even in my sickness,
-I was trying to please others.
-LONI: Wow.
-Trying to make them feel comfortable.
-LONI: Wow.
So, what's that nugget for you, Kelly?
For me, it's that...
-CHRISSY: Mm-hmm.
-Amen.
-KELLY: That every mistake you made,
if... if you stop, there's a reason why
you got back up again.
It's so that you can look at that,
reflect on it,
and... and learn something from it.
Because my mistakes,
and I've made some big ones,
have really shaped me for who I am. And...
it's like, it's the only way
that I... I can learn.
And know that I wanna be a better person
is from my mistakes.
-And we're all gonna make 'em.
-Mm-hmm.
-'Cause no one's perfect, like you said.
-CHRISSY: Right.
Well, how boring would that be?
-To be perfect?
-KELLY: Yeah.
And then we wouldn't learn the lessons
-that we need to learn.
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
-Exactly.
Well, what comes to mind?
What feelings come to mind
when I say forgiveness?
What's... what's the feelings?
(EXHALES) Well, initially, you know,
I think it's resentment.
Like, it begins sort of
with the resentment that you hold.
It's like when they say, you...
you're holding on to resentment
is like drinking the poison, and expecting
the other person to get sick.
-You're like, "Oh, it's..."
-Ooh!
"...not hurting anybody, but you."
And, so, you're like,
"Oh, where's the forgiveness?"
And I think it's really for yourself.
And if that's where it starts, amazing.
And I think that gives the grace
of being able to forgive someone else
for whatever they might have done.
Because I truly believe that...
-ROBIN: Hmm.
I really, really believe that,
like innately, we're all good.
And we are troubled,
and we have things that we go through,
and, you know, lessons,
and all sorts of things that can make...
You know, you meet somebody
in a wrong time
and you're like, "Oh," but, they...
you know, forgiveness is, is a practice.
But it's also, really,
I think, for yourself,
but also, so necessary for your healing.
But...
-And that's uncomfortable.
-Ooh.
-So, you know?
-It took me a long time to understand,
what you said about,
forgiveness is for you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-It's not for the person
or for the thing that happened.
-CHRISSY: Right.
-As I'm still working on it.
-CHRISSY: Same. Same.
-ROBIN: Hmm.
-'Cause I'm like, "You know what?"
-CHRISSY: Yeah, I'm pissed.
-I could forgive.
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLING) Yeah, I'm still angry.
-But I'm not gonna forget.
-ROBIN: I know. I've seen that.
-(CHUCKLES) But that's honest.
-When you're doing...
When you're doing this, like...
-LONI: It's honest.
-When you pop...
when you're popping your head,
that tells you...
Well, they say you can, you know,
you definitely can forgive,
but you're not gonna forget. Like...
-LONI: Mm-hmm.
You don't have to invite them
to lunch, right?
-Exactly.
-Right.
Because sometimes you don't wanna forgive
'cause you feel like,
"I'm letting you off the hook."
-CHRISSY: Correct.
-No, you're letting yourself off the hook.
You're not letting that person
off the hook.
I've had some people
that I have interviewed over the years,
and I'll never forget Judge Esther Salas.
Her son was killed at their doorstep.
-KELLY: Oh, gosh.
-The person wanted to kill her,
-but killed the son who answered the door.
-(KELLY GASPS)
And it was a few months later,
and I was talking to her...
and she was talking
how she had forgiven this person
who took her only child, her son,
her only child.
And she looked sweetly,
and she was so sincere.
She said, "Robin, love is light.
-"Hate is heavy."
-Yeah.
ROBIN: And I love how we keep going back
to the word grace.
What does grace mean to y'all?
(EXHALES) I think it's the space between,
you know, deciding like, "Oh, okay, I'm...
I'm, might not be completely ready
"to forgive." But I'm giving myself
the grace to, like, be in the space
that I'm in. Accept and surrender.
And giving that person,
you know, that their space,
whatever that space might look like.
But it is difficult. You know, like, it...
-(GROANS)
-Yeah, it is.
I look at grace as, you know,
giving yourself a little time.
-Hmm.
-A little time to work something through
to... to get something through in life,
-so that you can move on, and...
-Yeah.
...and get to your next point.
-Yeah. And for you, Kelly?
-I don't think I could have said that
-any better myself, to be honest.
-ROBIN: Agreed.
-You should've started with Loni.
-(ALL CHUCKLES)
They always say, you know,
you got to learn
to give yourself some grace.
You've gotta learn to sit there,
and sit in a moment of uncomfortability,
and allow yourself to feel
whatever it is you're feeling,
and not try and control it and...
-Yeah.
-And it, you know, it's something
that only in the last, I wanna say,
14, 15 months of my life have I
-even allowed myself to have.
-Wow.
And it's one of the greatest lessons
I've ever learned.
And it's about learning
to have patience with yourself, too.
-Yeah.
-ROBIN: Yeah.
Looking back, and there's so many times,
and, maybe you all do this, too,
and I'm like, "I cannot believe I allowed
myself to...
"to feel this way. I can't believe
I allowed someone to treat me."
-And...
-CHRISSY: Cool.
-Story of my life.
-ROBIN: (CHUCKLING) Oh, God.
-Story of my life.
-Why do you say that?
Because growing up,
I really didn't feel heard.
I never felt seen.
And I realized that like
in my adulthood that...
I... If I don't value myself,
I don't love myself,
I surely can't tell somebody else
how to love or value me.
-ROBIN: Uh-huh.
-And boundaries
are for me, and not for the other person.
So, typically it makes them uncomfortable.
And then making somebody uncomfortable
makes me uncomfortable,
and I'm like,
"Oh, my gosh, it's overwhelming."
But then I realized like,
"Nobody's going to respect me
"if A, I don't respect myself,
but also if they don't know
"because I haven't taught them." Okay.
-That's on...
-That's on me.
-ROBIN: Exactly.
-Yeah.
What do you do... each of you,
to keep a firm grip
on knowing exactly who you are?
You know... I... I am right now,
in the process of studying mindfulness.
Just taking that time to myself
and getting my mind and...
and the stillness,
it has really helped me.
It's really helped me to focus a lot more.
It's helped me to... to be patient.
That... that's what worked for me.
It was mindfulness,
-and just sitting...
-ROBIN: I love that.
...and being quiet. You know?
My Grandma Sally called it "quiet time."
-LONI: Yeah.
-And it is.
And people think like,
"I can't... I can't quiet my mind."
-LONI: Mm-hmm.
-No, you can. You...
I don't like that word, "You can't."
-I can't. I can't.
-LONI: Exactly.
I don't understand that. Try it!
-Maybe it doesn't...
-Well, some days it's hard for me.
-'Cause I'm like...
-ROBIN: Thank you!
-ROBIN: You need to practice. (CHUCKLES)
-I be like, "Would you stop?"
-You know, what's interesting is, like...
-It's coming at you.
...lawyers and doctors,
they have a practice.
-KELLY: Yeah.
-They're practicing.
They're... they don't know everything,
and we don't know everything.
So, sitting in the mindfulness
or having it on a daily basis,
-like, "Oh, we're just practicing it."
-ALL: Mm-hmm.
And having grace around it
and having, you know?
It's, it's a whole... It's all together.
But it's, it is tricky
'cause your mind starts to wander
and it starts to race
and you're like, "No, no.
"I'm coming back,
coming back, coming back."
How do you all determine when a space
is not for you? That, hmm.
-For me, it's about energy.
-It's a feeling, I was just about to say.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-Yeah.
For me, it's about any space
where I'm not allowed to be myself
-I don't wanna be.
-ROBIN: Yes.
And that... that's I realize that
that's not a safe place for me
mentally, physically,
emotionally, all of it.
Because... I... I've had to fight hard,
and come from hell and back
just to learn to accept myself,
and... and be who I am,
and I'm not perfect.
I'm not the prettiest girl in the room.
I'm not the smartest girl in the room.
But...
And it's...
it's something
that no one can take away from you.
Like, once you figure that out,
and you're comfortable in your own skin,
which takes work,
and it is a constant daily practice.
You...
you won't let anyone
take that away from you again.
I often say to each person...
LONI: Hmm.
-You are a limited edition.
-I love that.
-And, so, are you.
-Oh, thank you.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-Thank you, Chrissy.
But that's how I feel
that we each are that way.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-And what I love
about having these conversations
like, "This has been wonderful."
-LONI: Yeah.
-You know, it's just like you...
-It's... (SIGHS)
-Yeah.
We're gonna walk away
feeling real therapized and inspired.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Yeah.
-LONI: But they're necessary.
-I won't send you a bill either.
-(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Okay.
-It's on the house. It's on the house.
-Thank you.
These conversations are necessary,
and I don't think we have them enough.
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
-We do not have them enough.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-We do not have them enough.
-CHRISSY: Yeah.
-But we had it today.
-I know, and I'm grateful.
And, so, thank you for affording me
your grace.
Are we getting kicked out now?
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)
-LONI: Is that what you doing?
(ALL CHUCKLE)
-Loni.
-She said, "You can stay."
Oh, I just noticed your kicks.
Look at those sparkles.
-KELLY: Oh, those are good.
-ROBIN: Oh, come on.
-CHRISSY: Oh, yes.
-LONI: Come on.
Flats for days.
-All the time.
-All the time.
-I got a whole...
-All I can wear is these shoes
-and Birkenstocks right now.
-...closet full of 'em.
Like literally I put my foot
in a shoe and I'm like,
"How is..."
I, like... I walk around my house
barefoot all day
because it's just way more comfortable.
-Barefoot and pregnant. (CHUCKLES)
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-LONI: Love it.