Turn Up Charlie (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript

Whoo-hoo!

Of all the guys you've ever screwed,

I can't believe he's the one that's making
you contemplate love and monogamy.

Hey, I never said monogamy.

Don't swear.

While you were playing
unhappy families in LA,

and I was searching out
the finest ayahuasca in Colombia,

I guess I missed Charlie.

What happened to your mantra

that men can be replaced
with Valium and a vibrator?

Well, it turns out there are
some things that a sex toy just can't do.



Mm!

I thought you were shagging him on the
down-low because you were embarrassed.

Not 'cause you were falling for him.

He's straight-talking, he's hot as fuck,
and he's a total commitment-phobe.

What's not to like?

He's come a long way from a guy

who was playing crappy clubs on the strip
when we arrived.

I think we can both say that we have
played a part in helping him get his...

confidence back.

Do not compare my musical skills
to your bedroom expertise.

Why not? We both create euphoria.

It's true.

- Don't you miss this?
- Hmm?

Awesome gigs, new exciting countries,
the crowd going wild for you.



I'm here, aren't I?

Sara, you're supposed to wanna play
the biggest closing party in Ibiza

for the thrill.

Not as an excuse to avoid your husband.

I'm gonna go dance.

♪ Gonna work it out, come on ♪

Mom!

♪ Gonna work it out ♪

Mm. Mm, mm, mm. Okay. Okay, okay.

Down, boy.

So...

I have been thinking about... you...

and about my future.

And I have decided that I do not wanna
go back to London and manage Sara.

- What?
- I can't take her any further

while she burrows away in the studio
and refuses to tour.

Mate, are you mad?

You will never find anyone as talented
as Sara Caine to manage, come on.

What?

Charlie, I wanna manage you.

What are you... what are you talkin' about?

Let's travel the world.

I will get you the best gigs,
the best producers.

- The best...
- Wait a second, Astrid.

That is awesome, but I mean, really?

- I got you a gig tomorrow night.
- What?

And to celebrate our new partnership,

I also got our names on the list
for Amnesia tonight.

Wow, okay. Come on,
what kind of client would I be

if I ended up getting fucked up

the night before my first gig
with my potential new manager?

Oh, my gosh! That...
That sounds like a yes.

- Is that a yes?
- It's a yes to the gig.

But just let me...
Yeah, let me think about the rest of it.

Okay, well, why don't we
just keep it on the down-low

until you make your decision?

Is this gonna come between
you and Sara?

I mean, if it is, it's gonna be...

er... messy.

No.

I am sure she will be happy for us.

In the meantime, uh... Whoa.

Looks like I got a couple of hours to kill
before I go and party the night away.

Alone.

Yeah?

Wanna discuss your future in the bedroom
or over the kitchen worktop?

That sounds good.

Nope, I can't. I wanna try and
finish this before tomorrow night.

What's the rush?

Well, er... Astrid...

She got me a gig!

- Huh!
- So.

I thought she worked for me.

Go on. I put a mandy bomb in it
to give it a little kick.

So not only are you distracting me,
but you're spiking my drinks as well?

Please get high with me.

If I get fucked up by myself,

I'll end up in the pool, crying,
singing Céline Dion.

Really? I would love to see that.

Why would you be crying? What's wrong?

Uh... David and I aren't talking.

Yeah, Gab... Gab gave me the low-down.

Did she mention that he left me sitting
in a restaurant by myself for two hours

and then sent Gabs to be my date instead?

Well, at least Gabs's banter's
better than David's.

I think the play

has knocked his confidence, you know?

You're my friend too, you don't
have to defend him unconditionally.

I'm not. I'm not.

I'm impartial.

He made me these huge promises of
quality family time

and being a more present dad.

And it was all bullshit. I don't know
what I'd have done without you.

Well, look, you repaid the favor
by playin' my track at Latitude.

Massive!

That wasn't a favor.

I dropped it because I wanted to.

I love that track.

Yeah, me too.

I'm gonna have Astrid clear us
some proper studio time

when we're back in London
so we can make some new music.

I'd love that.

Mm!

To future Sara Caine
featuring Charlie Ayo collaborations.

I'll drink to that.

To future Charlie Ayo
featuring Sara Caine collaborations.

- I thought you got your ego in check.
- No. Oh, my God, that is horrible.

It's fine. Play me this.
Play me this. Play me this.

Whoo! Oh!

- Mmm!
- Ow!

- Ooh, I'm sorry.
- Ow!

I'm so sorry.

- Ow!
- I'm sorry.

I'm so...

Fuck you, I thought I really hurt you.

Oh, yes, with your lady hands.

You couldn't hurt me. Look at me.
Big man, you know?

Let me read your giant palms.

Mm!

So, that's your head line.

- See how it's curved?
- Yeah.

- That means you're creative.
- Creative?

I could have told you that.
I'm a DJ.

And that's your heart line.

Okay, yeah, nah.

Noooo...

Chh-chh. Sticking that away.
You don't wanna see that.

- I don't need to see it.
- Mm?

I know your future.

Yeah? What, you got
magic powers now, yeah?

You're gonna get
everything you want, Charlie.

You deserve it.

And, erm...

- what do you see in your future, then?
- Hm.

- Hm.
- Oh. Oh! Je... Oh!

Curling Gabs's hair for prom.

I saw that too, yeah.

Fighting with David
about Gabs's first boyfriend.

- And...
- I didn't see that part.

Making a great album,

that reminds people
how fucking awesome music is.

How it makes you feel things

and how it makes you laugh,

and cry, and dance,

and tell people you love them.

Well, you know what?
You're gonna get everything you want.

- Here you are. Hold that.
- Mm.

Everything, okay?

Because, you know why?

You're like a... awesome mum.

Awesome. And you're a pure, pure artist.

Okay, new game. Shag, marry, kill.

- What?
- Me, Astrid, David.

Come on.

Okay, so, you know, shagging...

Astrid, right? Yep.

Yes, I heard you guys earlier.

Girl's got skills.

Okay, so I'll just keep shagging her.

- Yeah.
- And then...

Well, see, David...

David's my day one boy, so...

And he's rich.

- So, I think if...
- Oooh!

- I...
- You are a traitor!

I gotta bump you off...

And, d'you know what? I think,
'cause you are kind of a competitor,

I will steal your fanbase too.

- You are a snake, Charlie Ayo!
- No, I'm a savvy businessman.

- Oh, yeah?
- Okay? So...

All right, your turn.

I would marry Ast, because
she is the best person I've ever known.

- Yeah.
- I guess I have to kill you.

I knew you were worried
about your DJ crown.

- No, no, no. No.
- Yes, you are.

I have to kill you because
you're David's best mate,

and I... I can't shag you, it would...

break all the rules.

There is that.

My heart is racing.

I can't tell if it's the drugs,
or the cold, or...

All right, just sit back. Sit back. Relax.

Just sit, relax. And breathe.

There you go, that...

Hello, hello!

- Ohhh...
- David!

You all right?

What are you doing here?

Oh, what? I can't fly in and surprise
my wife and daughter on holiday?

- Aww!
- All right, mate?

All right, mate? Big night?

Yeah. I mean, no. No.

We, erm... I was DJing last night. Er...

Yesterday. And then, erm...

It was one of those long days.

Just passed out.

Yeah, no, no, no, it's all good. All good.

Yeah man, I'm gonna clean up.

Charlie. A word in five?

Yeah, sure thing, man, sure thing.

Now, you better not be too hungover.

- I've got us a little surprise for later.
- A surprise? Oh...

Well, we didn't really drink that much.

Aw, I missed you, babe.

I missed you, too.

I'm gonna go get freshened up,

and I'm gonna get a little... coffee.

I'm gonna get some coffee.

And maybe a little sleep.

Then be back for my surprise.

Mate, I'm so happy you're here.

What's goin' on?

Sara Caine.

I love you,

I respect you,
and I wanna spend my life with you.

Will you marry me?

We're already married, you idiot.

Some hippie reading a poem
on a beach in Hawaii doesn't count.

I wanted to make it legal then,
and I still do now.

Is this some kind of quick fix
for acting like an ass in LA

and neglecting me and your daughter?

It's fine, he said he was sorry.

Sara, I've proposed to you, what,
six times in the last ten years?

I know things have been rough
between us recently.

But you wanna be with me, don't you?

What the fuck's going on here?

Mom and Dad are getting married.

Oh, fucking sick!

Finally, you agreed!

Hey! Hey, could I be matron of honor?

I could do a speech.

I promise I won't mention,
like, the waiter,

- the blow job, all that stuff.
- We should get you to bed.

Wait, you're seriously
walking out on this?

- Charlie, can you help me?
- What are you asking him for?

Oh, hold on.
This is because of Charlie, isn't it?

- What?
- What are you talking about?

- Where'd you get that from?
- You two think I'm fucking stupid?

You are utterly infatuated with him.

And you? You're just
a little side project charity case.

David, don't say any more.

Collaborating with you,
dropping your track at the festival?

And, what,
you ran out to Ibiza to be with him?

You wanna spend your life
with him, not me?

Hey, man, we were working together.
A move you orchestrated, remember?

Gabrielle, have you ever see anything
happen between Charlie and your mum?

How dare you bring her
into the middle of this?

- Phew!
- Your mum is fierce, Gabs.

David, you know what?
I thought the same thing.

They assured me nothing is going on,
you're just being paranoid.

- Let's...
- I'm not paranoid.

I turn up to find these two on some
mandy comedown, all over each other,

cuddling in a cabana.

Wait, who's Mandy, now?

It's slang, babe. Molly? Disco biscuit?

What?

What, you... you ditched a night out
with me so that you could work,

and you end up
getting high with Sara?

Hoo! No, it wasn't like that, babe, right?

Then what was it like, babe?
- Yeah, try and explain that one, mate.

Gabs, Hunter, go to your room right now.

- Go on.
- Don't tell me what to do!

So it's not just my wife,
you wanna play dad to my kid?

David, get a fucking grip! Okay?

Look, you asked me
to look after Gabs, right?

And you ditched her not once but twice.

Not to mention
how often you ditched Sara.

- Don't fucking talk to her!
- Calm down.

You come into our lives,
get what you want, then you're out.

Come into your life? I think you
came to me, bro. Do you remember that?

He's right! You got what you wanted
and now you're leaving.

I heard him and Astrid talking
by the pool yesterday.

She's gonna manage him, take him on tour,
travel the world and leave me.

- Uh... Is that true?
- I'm a manager, Sara. I manage.

Listen, we just talked about it.
It's not, like, a done deal.

- You haven't changed one bit, mate.
- They're also fucking.

- Whoa!
- You're picking him over me?

I am picking me.

I did not choose to settle down
and have a family, Sara.

You're my family.

Yes, so you should understand
that I don't wanna be stuck in London,

watching you and Tommi making music
while I'm turning down gigs

- so that you can put your daughter to bed.
- Hey!

So I'm only good enough for you
when I'm up for a party?

That's not real life.

It is for me. It can be for me, for us.

- I can't do this without you, Astrid.
- You're already doing it without me.

It doesn't make any difference.
These two can have each other.

We'll move to South Africa.
I've been offered a film there.

- What the fuck?
- What? You're gonna take that job?

You knew about that?

He told me not to say nothing.

Wait, so this whole proposal
is just to sweeten me up?

You are such a scumbag.

No, no, no, you don't understand.
I wanna spend my life with you, honey.

You said you could make music anywhere.
Why can't it be South Africa?

What about Gabrielle and school?

There are great schools in Cape Town too.

Gabrielle. What do you want?

South Africa or London?

What do I want?

Do you really care about what I want?

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

- Gabs, come on.
- Sara.

Sara!

- You were the only real friend I had left.
- Nothing ever happened between us! Ever!

- Doesn't mean you didn't ruin my marriage.
- No.

Your work ruined your marriage, pal.
Not me. Here's your ring.

And your fucking bouquet.

Sorry I didn't tell you about Astrid.
I haven't even said yes.

Sorry I told Mom.

Yeah. Today's been a bit of a...

- Total fucking disaster?
- Hey, hey, hey. Don't swear.

Well, we don't have to have
some deep, meaningful chat about it.

My dad's already booked me
a Skype session with my old therapist

for tomorrow morning.

You know... I love him, but I think it's
rubbish that he's asking you to move away.

Remember what you said to me
the first time we met?

Mmm... "Don't call me a bitch?"

You told me I was lucky to have

such talented, successful,
hard-working parents.

Yeah, that sounds like me.

Still think I'm lucky?

All I ever wanted was for us to be
together, as a family.

No touring, no flying
backwards and forwards.

I just wanna go to school and be normal.

Normal?

You can't be normal.

Look, I won't go with Astrid,

if you decide to stay in London
and you want me to be about.

Thanks, but you're not my dad.

You shouldn't be giving up
your dreams for me. He should.

Well, just tell him where you wanna go,
and I promise he'll be there for you.

Mm! Brain freeze.

You haven't got a brain to freeze.

You're such a bellend.

I love you, kid. You know that?

What, even though I'm brainless?

I don't know where you disappeared to,
but we have to be at this gig in an hour.

Don't fuck this up for us, babe.

What happened to our deal
that we wouldn't waste our tears on men?

Huh? You should be thanking me.

I'm removing temptation.

Charlie is one indiscretion
that your marriage would not survive.

And, if anything ever happened
between the two of you,

we wouldn't survive either.

He is just my friend.

Sorry we're late.

We gotta go.

Guilty.

It took me forever to choose between
mint choc chip and cookies and cream.

Indecisive, just like your mom.

What'd you go for?

Both, obviously.

Hm. Greedy, just like your mom.

- Hey.
- Okay, I'm gonna call the car.

You've got ten minutes to get ready
and grab your gear, okay?

Uh, yeah.

Good luck tonight, Charlie.

I'm sorry about what David said.

No, don't...
don't apologize for David, all right?

I shouldn't have freaked out.

I'm happy that you're working with Astrid.

It's the best thing for you.

Uh, for all of us.

I have to concentrate on my family.

Not my music.

Mom, Dad.

Uh... Hey, princess.

Can we talk about South Africa?

Sure, why don't you get me a map
and I'll show you where it is?

I love London.

I love school.

I like having real friends.

I don't wanna live anywhere else.

Of course, sweetie.

I want you to be happy.

If you think London
is the best place for you,

then you should live there.

With Mum.

And we can arrange times for you
to visit me in the holidays.

I'm ready to go.

Aren't you, Gabs?

Mm-hmm.

Why don't you tell Hunter
to get packed up,

and I'll get us a jet for tonight?

- But we haven't said goodbye to Charlie.
- You'll see him in London.

He's going away with Astrid.
We can't leave without saying goodbye.

Go get Hunter and tell him we're leaving.

Do you really have to leave tonight?

You made your choice.

And now I'm making mine.

Found it in Astrid's magic drawer.

Want some?

Gabs.

- Gabs!
- What?

All adults are selfish arseholes, Gabs.
All right?

But not Charlie.

That's it. I changed my mind.
I want Charlie to come to London with us.

Well, he ain't telepathic.
You've gotta tell him.

But Mom's making us fly home tonight.

How's your mum gonna make us do anything?

Shall we?

All aboard!

All aboard!

I hope you know where we're going!

Dude, I've got Astrid's e-mails.

♪ I'm losing ♪

♪ I'm losing it ♪

Thank you for this.
I love it, this is amazing.

You need to decide what you want, Charlie.

I want this.

Let's tour, let's do it. I'm in.

I want you.

Hey, kids.

Let's leave 'em to it.

Take me to the bar, queen.

Good luck, Gabs.

- What are you doin' here?
- I...

I just wanted to see you do your thing.

Mm-hm.

I'm so proud of you, Charlie.

Thank you.

I'll miss you.

Puh-lease. You'll be exploring
the world with Astrid,

and becoming best mates
with the raddest musicians,

and making top ten hits,
and winning Grammys.

Yeah, I will.

But I'm still gonna miss you.

And I'll always have a VIP ticket for you
whenever you wanna visit, okay?

Try and keep me away.

I think I should take you home,

'cause I'm sure your mum and dad
don't know you snuck out.

No, let's stay a bit.
We should celebrate your comeback.

- Mmm...
- We might not get a second chance.

All right, but no doin' drugs.

Fine.

- And no crowd surfin'.
- Deal.

- All right, come on. Let's party, bitch!
- Don't call me bitch!

Whoo, whoo!

- ♪ I believe in miracles, baby ♪
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

♪ I believe in you ♪

♪ They say the day is ending ♪

♪ Let's watch the sun go down ♪

♪ And plan a holiday for two ♪

♪ For all eternity ♪

♪ We'll ride a cloud so you can see ♪

♪ The world I created just for you ♪

♪ Oh, I believe in miracles ♪

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

♪ I believe in miracles, don't you? ♪

♪ Don't you?
La, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la-laaa ♪

♪ Oh, I believe in miracles ♪

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

♪ I believe in miracles ♪

♪ Don't you? ♪

♪ Don't you?
La, la, la, la, la, la la ♪