True Blood (2008–2014): Season 3, Episode 7 - Hitting the Ground - full transcript

[SOOKIE GRUNTS]

Ah. No wonder Bill was drawn to you.

-You're delicious.
-Fuck you.

LORENA:
I've never tasted anything like you.

What are you?

I'm the bitch that's gonna kill you.

[LAUGHS]

[BILL & LORENA GRUNTlNG]

Let me go.

BlLL:
Sookie.

[LORENA SHRIEKlNG]



-Do it.
-But--

Do it.

William.

I love you.

You wouldn't know love
if it kicked you in the fangs.

[LORENA GROANlNG]

[GROANING]

Bill?

Help.

Help!

[SOOKIE SOBBlNG]

-Sookie.
SOOKlE: Shut the door.

ALClDE: What are--?
-She had to have the key to the manacles.

-ls he dead?
SOOKlE: No.



-He's in real bad shape, but he's--
-You sure?

-Because he looks dead.
-He isn't dead.

When vampires are dead,
this is what they look like.

Jesus Christ.

We've got to get out of here.

-There's wolves all over the place.
SOOKlE: I know.

-lt's only a matter of time before they come.
-l said, l know.

-Please, help me wrap him up.
TARA: What?

-We ain't got that kind of--
-l am not leaving here without him.

Fuck.

Let's wrap him up in the tarp.

DEBBIE:
Oh, shouldn't have.

Vampire burrito? Heh.

For me?

What can I do you for?

Here for the fights.

-What fights? There ain't no fights here.
-No?

I was told there was gonna be
some dogfighting here...

...and l was hoping
to get in on the action.

You was told, huh?

By who?

Man didn't give me his name.

Told him l had money.
He told me where l could go to spend it.

Now, you don't strike me
as the dogfighting type.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, you got me all wrong...

...because I love me
some high-stakes gambling...

...and dogfighting's
the ultimate sport for me.

And once you done it,
you realize cards are for pussies.

Well, like I already told you,
ain't no fights here.

Look, l got money to burn.

I'll give you some.

[COCKS GUN]

Don't you even think about it.

-You a cop?
-No, no, no. I swear.

Show me your gun.

If you are a cop, you sure as shit
ain't carrying a cop's gun.

-l ain't a cop.
-Turn your shit around and go.

-But--
-Do it and l will let you live.

All right.

All right, easy. All right.

Easy.

ALClDE: Debbie, just let everybody else go,
take the vamp with them.

-You and me, we can talk.
-Fuck you.

I'm the one with the fucking gun.
Ain't no one going nowhere.

-Sweetheart--
-l ain't your sweetheart no more.

Now give me a minute to think.

DEBBlE: I didn't want to do this.
Calm down, Debbie. Pull it together.

Fuck, I can't. I need some more V.

Maybe this vamp
still has some blood left in him.

Don't even think about it, bitch.

Oh, you sure picked a dumb-ass time
to call me bitch, bitch.

-Yeah, Sook. Don't do that.
-Sookie, l got this.

You ain't got shit.

Ain't no way you're pulling that trigger.
This ain't you.

DEBBlE: These people killed my packmates.
Killed my kind.
Ain't no way you're pulling that trigger.
This ain't you.

DEBBlE: These people killed my packmates.
Killed my kind.

DEBBlE: These people killed my packmates.
Killed my kind.
It's that V talking. This ain't who you are.

It's that V talking. This ain't who you are.

It's an eye for an eye.
It's that V talking. This ain't who you are.

It's that V talking. This ain't who you are.

Only way they can pay us back
is with their lives.
It's that V talking. This ain't who you are.

Only way they can pay us back
is with their lives.

Alcide, l've been listening in and she ain't
exactly misrepresenting herself.

Okay, freak.

Your mind-reading shit's
getting real fucking old.

ALClDE:
Debbie. Debbie, look at me. Look at me.

You loved me once. l know you did.

I'd have given up everything for you...

...but you wouldn't even give me a baby.

-Sorry.
-Oh, you're sorry?

What happened to, "l won't bring
one of our kind in the world"?

-lt's too late for you to be sorry.
-lt's never too late.

You want to talk about it,
we can talk about it.

Back off.

TARA: Listen to me, Sook.
l'll take her out when she ain't looking.

-Tara, don't.
-There ain't no going back.

-This is who I am now.
ALClDE: No, baby.

It's just a scar. We all got scars.

TARA: If she shoots him, we're next,
and l'm not gonna die here.

-Give me the gun.
-That was your last step.

-You ain't getting another.
-Debbie.

TARA: l don't care what you do, Sook.
Just distract her for me.

TARA: l don't care what you do, Sook.
Just distract her for me.
[SCREAMlNG]

[SCREAMlNG]

[TARA & DEBBlE GRUNTING]

DEBBIE:
Fuck you. Bitch, l'll kill you.

TARA: Go ahead and try.
-Get off of me.

What the hell is going on in here?

[COOT GROWLlNG]

Fuck.

[DEBBIE WHlMPERlNG]

[DEBBIE SCREAMS]

Oh, my God!

Oh, my fucking God!

[SOBBlNG]

ALClDE:
Sorry, Debbie.

He didn't leave me any choice.

You had a choice.

And you picked the fucking fangbanger
over one of your own?

Go on. Get him in the van.

I'll be right out.

Unh. Tara, keep the ends
wrapped up tight.

DEBBIE:
So, what's it gonna be...

...sweetheart?

You gonna kill me too?

You fucking better...

...because if you don't, l'll sniff you out.

I will.

I will come after you...

...and l will hunt you down.

I believe you.

[DEBBIE SCREAMS]

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

SOOKlE: You got him?
-All the V l got in me is making me strong.

Plus, the fucking fanger's
lost a lot of weight in blood, so....

Unh. Is the V making you insensitive
as well or is that just you?

-He left me for dead.
-Well, two wrongs don't make a right.

-Come on.
-Close the door.

-l'm riding in the back.
-He ain't gonna make it.

-Don't do this to yourself.
-Close the door.

-All right, let's go. We got company.
-Oh, shit.

[BARKING AND GROWLING]

You need a faster van.

[WOLF YELPS]

-Did you just--?
-Yeah.

GUS:
Motherfucker.

[ALL PANTING]

HOYT:
You all right?

No, it's just funny.

Never really thought l was smart enough
to get depressed, but here l am.

Is this still about Crystal?

Just got all these questions
spinning around in my head.

-l don't know what to do with them.
-Like?

Well, like why is it
that I barely know her...

...but l already love her?

And who the fuck is that dick
she's living with?

And why would someone like her
put up with that?

And also, do you think
she's named after the champagne?

Because I'm thinking she was.

-J, she's from Hotshot.
-Yeah.

She's probably named after that drug
that keeps the town afloat.

No, no way.

I'll bet you 1 00-to-1
her middle name's "Meth."

You're a Christian, Hoyt.
It ain't cool to judge.

[SIGHS]

I know. I'm sorry.

Look, l'm just trying to snap you out of it.
That's all.

And l appreciate it,
but it ain't gonna work.

Hey, you remember that dealer
that you took down last week at the bust?

I just told you, it ain't gonna work.

Reminding me of last week's glory ain't
gonna change the fact that this week...

...ain't done shit for me yet.

Well, you think they still got him
down at the jail?

I think so, yeah.

Why don't you go down there
and talk to him?

He's the best shot you got
at getting answers about Crystal...

...and he's just sitting down there
at the jail locked up waiting for you.

That's genius is what that is.

Oh, bubba.

I knew you and me being roommates
wasn't gonna suck forever.

[BOTH GRUNT]

JASON:
Whoo! Ha, ha.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

May I come in?

-Summer.
-l'm just kidding.

I'm not a vampire like your last girlfriend.

[SUMMER CHUCKLES]

Girlfriend?

[SAM SHIFTS]

[DOG BARKS AND PANTS]

SUMMER:
I baked biscuits.

My great-gram's recipe,
still warm from the oven...

...butter churned by hand...

...and homemade strawberry preserves
I picked myself...

...from the church-house garden.

Mm. This place could use
some sprucing up, huh?

-What?
-No, nothing.

I just wasn't expecting you, that's all.

I know, and maybe
I should have called first.

But, Hoyt Fortenberry...

...l had the most amazing time
with you the other night...

...and then yesterday, I sat by the phone
waiting for you to call, and you didn't.

Yeah. l got off of work late,
and l should have.

Because I woke up this morning,
it hit me.

"Summer," l said, "why play games?"

And then I decided that l was gonna declare
my feelings for you...

...and let the chips fall where they may.

If you don't feel the same way
about me...

...well, then that will be your loss.

So here goes.

[SIGHS]

I like you, Hoyt.

I wanna be your girlfriend,
and l really want you to taste my biscuits.

Uh....

-Oh. Those biscuits?
SUMMER: Mm-hm.

Oh, mama.

-Hey, are you Summer?
-Tsk. You told your roommate about me?

Summer, these are....

[SIGHS]

I'm telling you, this one here...

...she's gonna make a great grandmama
one day. She's a keeper.

Mm, mm, mm.

[CHUCKLES]

-Thanks for your vote.
JASON: Oh, you earned it.

You eat, l'll spruce.

SOPHlE ANNE:
Hadley.

HADLEY:
Your Majesty.

I wish you didn't have to
see me like this.

The reason your human's trembling...

-...is because l've let her in on my plan.
-Which is?

Which is to sink my fangs into her
and drink...

...until you tell me what it is
about Sookie Stackhouse...

...that has so obviously piqued
your interest.

Sookie Stackhouse?
I have no interest in her.

And if l drink too much...

...well, so be it.

Fine.

-So be it.
-Really?

You've kept this one around a long time.

Must be some reason for that.

-Why do you care about Sookie?
-Because you do.

And because my king does.

Your king?

Russell Edgington is the most
duplicitous vampire in the Americas...

...maybe the world.

-You honestly think you can trust him?
-Like I can trust you?

The only vampire a vampire can trust
is the vampire he made.

-Ah!
HADLEY: Aah!

[HADLEY SOBBING]

Mm, mm, mm.
I give her three stars.

-What do you know about Sookie?
-Nothing.

Please, stop.

I'll tell you.

Hadley, don't.

-The queen's confided in you?
-Some.

But also...

...Sookie's my-- My cousin.

Tell me.

Hadley.

Tell me, tell me.

Well, l certainly wasn't expecting that.

[HADLEY GRUNTS THEN SLURPS]

[GROWLlNG AND BARKING]

MAN 1 :
Git, git.

BOBBY:
Hey, looks like we got a runner.

-He belong to any of y'all?
-Ain't mine.

MAN 2: Whoo, look at the size of the balls
on that son of a bitch.

We can't have dogs running around
on the loose.

Hey, you.

That's right, you little fucker.

Who the hell let you out?

-Huh?
MAN 3: Go get him, Bobby.

[DOG GROWLlNG]

Look at you,
sitting all nice and pretty for me.

Heh, heh. Tell you what.

You ain't gonna stand a chance
in that ring.

No, you're not.

[DOG GROWLS AND BARKS]

SOOKlE:
Bill? Bill.

No.

Give me some kind of sign
if you're still with me.

Oh, no.

If you make it through this, you owe me.

[GRUNTS THEN GROANlNG]

Come on, baby. Drink.

Please.

[BILL GRUNTlNG]

Oh, thank you.
Oh, God, thank you so much.

[GROWLlNG]

[SHRIEKlNG]

Easy. Come on.

Oh, my God.

[MUFFLED]
Cut it out, Bill.

-You need to try and relax.
-Relax?

I ain't even breathed for a week.

Then try to.

Take a breath.

You need it.

[BILL GROWLlNG AND GRUNTlNG]

[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

Greetings, T-Dub.

Remember me?

Of course I do. You're the son of a bitch
who put me in here.

-l'm a cop.
-That's not what I hear.

I'm almost a cop.

-And I'm here to interrogate you.
-Do l look like a rat to you?

Ain't nobody asking nobody
to rat nobody out.

I just--

[CLEARS THROAT]

-Could you stop pacing like that?
-No.

Look, man,
all I wanna know about is Crystal.

My cousin?

She's your cousin?

Then you know who
that asshole she's living with is.

That asshole is my--

Oh, you're smart.

Well, l ain't saying another word.

Listen, T-Dub.

I don't know Crystal very well...

...but the little bit l do know her tells me
she is a good person in a bad situation.

And l think she deserves better,
don't you?

I mean, you're family.

I'm gonna tell you
what you wanna know.

But you have got to bring me some meth.

What the fuck? l can't do that, man.

I've been in here without it
for almost a week...

-...and l cannot fucking take it no more.
ANDY: What the hell, Stackhouse?

-You ain't supposed to be back here.
-Well, l'm just sweeping, you know?

Yeah? Where's your broom?

That's a good point.

Those squad cars need washing again.

I'm on it, boss.

Shit. Jason-fucking-Stackhouse.
What the fuck am l gonna do?

My heart bleeds for you.

Why don't you do what you do best
and shut up?

I'll be quick.

Cool. I'm just gonna check on Sook.

Hey, Sook.

Sook, you all right back there?

-Shit.
-She ain't answering?

[ZlPPER ZlPS]

Hey. It's still light out.

-You open that, you're gonna--
-You think l give a fuck?

[BILL GRUNTS]

-What happened?
TARA: You're fucking asking me?

ALClDE:
Have to get her to a hospital.

[TARA GRUNTS]

TARA: Get out.
BlLL: But l can help.

Get out!

[GRUNTS]

Don't you fucking die on me, Sookie.

Do not fucking die.

[GRUNTlNG]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[ENGINE STARTS]

Damn.

Boy, you look mean.

You sure do mind good.

You're gonna roll right onto your back...

...and take it like a little girl later on,
ain't you? Heh, heh.

I'm betting against you.

All right, then.

[SAM SHIFTS]

Slide on in here, teddy bear.

What the hell?

[BOBBY GRUNTS]

[BELL RINGS]

[CROWD CHATTERlNG AND CHEERING]

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Doctor Sekuler to the ER.

NURSE 1 :
All right, let's go.

NURSE 2: All right, BP's dropping.
She's gonna palp, let's go.

NURSE 3:
I'm sorry.

WOMAN 1 :
Get ready to transfuse.

WOMAN 2:
Pressure's steady.

MAN:
Two more.

WOMAN 2:
Line is in.

Here we go.

WOMAN 1 :
Piggy-back it.

WOMAN 2: Pressure's good.
All right, l'll call the blood bank.

Another four units on standby,
just in case we need it.

-She's starting to seize.
MAN: Okay, got it.

WOMAN 1 : Pressure's accelerating.
WOMAN 2: All right, let's get the cart in here.

MAN:
Watch that line.

[MACHlNE BEEPlNG]

DOCTOR: Miss Thornton?
-How is she?

-She's lost a lot of blood.
-How much blood?

-A lot.
-Oh, my God.

What about a transfusion?
I mean, can't--

We tried. Her body rejected it.

Maybe you gave
the wrong kind of blood?

You checked her first?
You better not have taken a fucking guess.

Your friend doesn't have a blood type.

-What?
-Everybody has a blood type.

Exactly.

But for whatever reason,
we couldn't establish hers...

...and we are running out of time.
So l put in an order for O-negative.

O-neg is universal donor.

But your friend....

[DOCTOR SlGHS]

I have never seen a reaction
like that before.

I'm sorry.

I'm afraid you're gonna
have to notify the family.

[GUNSHOT]
[DOG YELPS]

MAN 1 :
Piece of shit. Don't even die good.

Bring in the next one.

[CHATTERlNG]

Tommy, Mama loves you.

[BARKS]

JOE LEE:
Get up, boy.

[BOTH BARKlNG]

MAN 2:
He's gonna bring me some money.

[BOTH GROWLING]

MAN 3:
Fifty dollar riding.

[BELL RINGS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

MELINDA: Go, Tommy.
-Take it to him, Tommy.

Oh, boy.

[ALARM WAILING]

MAN 4:
Motherfucker.

SAM:
Git. Go. Git.

-Come on, Tommy.
JOE LEE: Tommy, get out of there.

SAM:
Go on, git. Get out of here.

Go, go, go.

MAN 5: Hey, you owe me 500 bucks.
MAN 6: l don't owe you shit, boy.

SAM:
Hey.

Hey, son.

[DOG GROWLlNG]

[BARKS]

Don't you snarl at me.

[WHlMPERS]

Good dog.

Good, good.

Now get the fuck out of here.

[TOMMY SHIFTS]

Give him your clothes.

-Don't you tell--
-Give him your clothes.

[PANTlNG]

Sorry. Hey, hey, Lafayette.

You got a minute?

Last time you came to me all shaky
like this, you wanted to buy some V.

Oh, no. l told you, that shit's behind me.
I just need some meth.

-What?
-Well, it ain't for me, I swear.

It's for this dude who we got in lockup.

He's got this information I need, but he'll
only give it to me if l get him some meth.

Jason, no. I don't deal no fucking meth.

And even if I did,
I wouldn't sell the shit to you.

And you ought to thank me for it.

Goddamn it, Lafayette, I'm in love.

With the dude in jail?

[PHONE BUZZlNG]

No. With his cousin.

-Hello?
TARA: lt's me.

-Tara?
-You found her? Where's she at?

-lt's Sookie.
-what about her?

Tara?

Say something.
You're starting to freak me out.

We're at the hospital in Ruston.

Sook's in a coma, Jason.

You need to get here.

You need to get here now.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

Sook's in the hospital.
Sook's in the fucking hospital.

-You warm now, son?
-Little better, yeah.

SAM:
Well, now you give a shit.

I thought Tara had a shitty mother,
but you take the cake.

-Don't talk to your mother that way.
-Don't fucking talk to me that way.

You like making people scared?
Think you're good at it?

I can't understand the power you got over
them, because l see you for what you are.

You're just a scared man
in saggy underpants...

...with no discernable life skills
whatsoever.

-Come on, Tommy.
-Where you going?

-Taking him with me.
-What? l can't.

You can, Tommy.
You can be free of them.

He's my son.

-You can't do this to me.
-Oh, yes, l can, and so can he.

I thought the Merlottes
were the worst people I'd ever met.

The two of you Mickens make them
look like a couple Dalai Lamas.

You really fucking do.

I'm sorry, Sam. l know we let you down--

SAM:
You're sorry. Great.

Duly noted. Come on, Tommy.

You coming with me?

Tommy, I can't promise you
a perfect life...

...but l can promise you
it'll be better than this one.

-Yeah, I'm coming.
SAM: All right.

Come on, let's do this.

Don't you worry, Lindy.

-We'll get him back.
-l hate you.

I hate your fucking guts.

[MELINDA SOBBlNG]

I understand that this is hard,
but as the responsible party here...

...there's certain decisions
that you might have to make.

No. No. l ain't responsible.

But you are the next of kin.

[SIGHS]

Maybe, but I ain't responsible.

I mean, l can't be.

I understand your position,
but in the event your sister--

Just leave him alone, please.

-But l--
-l said, leave him alone.

Go find somebody else's organs
to harvest or some shit like that.

I'm sorry.

I'll smooth it over.

Thank you.

Listen to me. Fuck her.
This shit ain't over.

[JASON SIGHS]

TARA:
Just don't make no sense.

How can Sookie not have a blood type?

You got one?

AB-negative.

I only know it because
I'm always cutting myself...

...with power tools and whatnot.

But Sook,
she ain't never really been sick before.

Definitely never stayed in a hospital.

Wasn't even born in one.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, our mama was always waiting
till the last minute to do everything. Heh.

And Sook, she was coming out real fast,
so there wasn't any time.

Our daddy had to deliver her
on the dining-room table.

Saw more of it than I cared to.

You think it's all this vampire blood
she's had that did this to her?

It ain't the blood she drank that did this.

It's the piece-of-shit vampire
she drank it from.

-You really kicked him out in the sun?
-Mm-hm.

And he's nothing but fucking ash now,
and good riddance.

Hey, Sook.

Don't you do this to me.

I wasn't playing before
when l said you're all I got.

I fucking need you. So come on back.

And l fucking need you too.

Come on, y'all. Stop cussing at her.

We're gonna figure this thing out.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

[WOMEN GlGGLlNG]

SOOKlE:
Where am l?

WOMAN:
Sookie.

You're in the hospital.

You can't seem to stay out of trouble,
can you?

I don't-- Do you know me?

-Come.
-Who are you?

I'm Claudine.

Oh, dear. Your cup is empty.

We can't have that, can we?

SOOKlE:
Oh, Claudine.

I know. It's beautiful.

Drink.

My God.

It's the most amazing thing
I've ever tasted.

You've had it before.

Okay, but where did she come from?

Don't be fooled.

That pond is bigger and deeper
than you think.

Can we dance?

We can always dance.

-l knew you were gonna say that.
-And I knew you were going to say that.

Come.

[SOOKIE GIGGLES]

I think over again my small adventures,
my fears...

...those small ones that seemed so big.

For all the vital things
I had to get and reach...

...and yet there is only one great thing,
the only thing...

...to live to see the great day that dawns
and the light that fills the world.

That's beautiful.

That's because that shit is lnuit.

And we all is used to lesser religions.

I'm gonna have to sit this one out.

I guess I don't have the endurance
that you all have.

Oh, not to worry. You will one day.

-You promise? Ha, ha.
-l do.

Oh, Sookie.

Don't go back. Come with us.

-Come with you where?
-Our home.

It's more beautiful
than anything you can imagine.

-How do you get there?
-Just swim. Come.

SOOKlE: Hate deep water. Mama and Daddy
were killed by water. Don't. Can't swim.

I can't. See, l never learned to swim.

CLAUDlNE: Do not fear the water.
lt wasn't the water that killed them.

What?

If it wasn't the water that killed them,
then what did?

The dark approaches.
The dark approaches.

-How is she?
-Motherfucker.

-She's dying.
-Thanks to you.

-l can help.
-The fuck you can.

Aw, hell, no. He's the one who did this.

-Shit.
-Jason, there is no time.

My blood can save her.

CLAUDlNE: Hurry. l will see you all at home.
WOMAN: l've never seen a vampire before.

CLAUDlNE: l promise. You don't want to.
SOOKlE: Bill's not like that.

CLAUDlNE: l don't have the time
to explain why you're wrong.

You have to come with us, Sookie.
It's not safe for you anymore.

-Why?
-He will steal your light.

What light?

-Sookie.
-No.

I'm not going with you.
I don't know you.

Do not let him take it from you.

Promise me.

SOOKlE:
How do l get back from here?

Claudine?

Claudine.

-Do it.
-Jason.

Tara, it's my call.

Do it.

JASON:
Come on, Sookie.

MAGlSTER:
I come bearing gifts...

...because I want you to know
how rotten l feel...

...about the way I've been treating you.

I sent one of my minions to Tiffany's...

...to pick up a little something for you.

-How'd you know I was a Tiffany's girl?
-Mm.

Most women are.

And those who aren't
just think they're not.

-They're beautiful.
-Mm.

They're sterling silver.

Excellent.

They'll match my chains.

[MAGlSTER CHUCKLES]

Tsk. Unfortunately,
seeing you now I realize...

...your ears are already pierced.

Would you object
to my piercing your eyelids?

Not at all.

Very well.

MAGlSTER:
Mm-hm.

[DOOR OPENS]

ERlC: Enough.
-Eric.

Mr. Northman.

It's only enough
if Bill Compton is with you.

-ls he?
ERlC: No, Magister.

But the queen of Louisiana is.

Our deal was--

I'll confess that you were correct before
in suspecting me...

...but everything l did was at her behest.

You realize, of course,
you're committing treason...

...throwing your queen under the bus
as you are.

Oh, but she's no longer my queen.

My loyalty is to Mississippi now.

[DOOR OPENS]

RUSSELL: And Mississippi's proud to claim
Mr. Northman as one of her own.

Love the place. Love your vibe.

We must talk franchising later.

[CHUCKLES]

Russell Edgington.

You may call me King.

Is it true what Northman says?

Yes, Magister.

Then l'm afraid
I'm gonna have to arrest you.

By the powers vested in me
by the authority...

-...I hereby--
RUSSELL: The authority?

[LAUGHS]

Are you serious?

Who are the authority?

What gave them the authority?

Nothing. No one.

You okay?

They took it, as l am taking it today.
I no longer recognize the authority.

You are aware-- She stays on the table.

You are aware that just saying that
is a cardinal sin.

I am aware ofjust what a tough little boat
I'm putting you in.

Honestly, it is kind of fun.

You know I'm beholden by duty to convey
your blasphemy to the authority--

To the authority?
Well, that won't be happening.

But enough about you.

In exchange for the money she owes
the IRS, Queen Sophie Anne...

...has kindly accepted
my marriage proposal.

I had no choice.

-Your Majesty--
-Yes, my loyal subject?

Oh, we would be delighted
if you would officiate the wedding for us.

I am forbidden to conduct
any rights of alignment...

...unless specifically authori--

Unless specifically authorized
to do so by the authority.

Yes, well, perhaps you have not
quite grasped the subtext...

...of our earlier exchange,
but there's a new fucking authority in town.

I swear fealty now and always
to the one true vampire authority...

...in whose wisdom and justice l--

[GRUNTS]

RUSSELL:
You pathetic fool.

Blindly doing the bidding of others,
just like humans.

It's vampires like you who've been holding
the rest of us back for centuries.

[SCREAMlNG]

[SCREAMlNG AND GROANING]

You can dish it out, but you sure
can't take it, can you, Magister?

Let's see how this plays out, Pam.

You can always taunt later.

Can we hurry this along?

I'm getting cold feet.

Of course, my little pudding.

This could be so much less painful
if you just said the fucking words.

I am bound by duty
to uphold the sacred laws of--

[MAGlSTER GASPS]

Uh-uh-uh.

Your call.

I hereby pronounce you...

...husband and wife.

Thank you.

Yes, thanks.

So happy l could bleed.

ERlC:
Congratulations, Your Majesties.

Yes, congrats.

You realize, of course,
the authority will never recognize--

Its own irrelevancy?

That's where you and l differ, Magister.
I truly believe they will, and soon.

[SNlFFS]

Andalusia, the lberian Peninsula.

Mmm. Later 9th century, no?

[SPEAKS IN SPANlSH]

Well, whatever.

It's a long enough time
for you to have outgrown...

...your blind allegiance to the authority
and their rule of law.

There is only one law:

The law of nature,
the survival of the fittest.

We need to take this world back
from the humans...

...not placate them with billboards
and PR campaigns while they destroy it.

That is not authority.
That is abdicating authority.

ERlC:
Your Majesty.

Shall we?

[SIGHS]

We shall.

[GRUNTS]

Actually, no.

Say hello to the true death.