True Blood (2008–2014): Season 2, Episode 11 - Frenzy - full transcript

Bill visits the vampire Queen of Louisiana to see what he can learn about Maryann and how they might be able to defeat her. The Queen isn't too preoccupied with Bill's requirements but does...

Is this a bad time?


A bad time?

There's not such thing as bad.

Or time, for that matter.

Want to join me?

♪ When you came in
The air went out ♪

♪ And every shadow
Filled up with doubt ♪

♪ I don't know
Who you think you are ♪

♪ But before the night
Is through ♪

♪ I wanna do bad things
With you ♪

♪ I'm the kind
To sit up in his room ♪

♪ Heartsick and eyes
Filled up with gloom ♪

♪ I don't know what
You've done to me ♪

♪ But I know this much
Is true ♪

♪ I wanna do bad things
With you ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ I'm gonna do real bad things
With you ♪

Get up!
No! No!

Have you lost your mind?

Didn't you hear all those nasty
things she said about you?

And me.
She's my mama!

She gets to!

The hell are you from?

I'm sorry.

Mama, you all right?

Oh, yeah. Heh-heh-heh.


Yeah, I should have listened
to vampire Bill

when he warned me about you.

Now, come on. Come on, Mama.

Oh, do we have to?

I think I actually enjoyed that.

Do you see
what you did to her?

Come on.

Mmm. Mmm.

What gives you the right

to say no to the femoral blood
of a good woman?

You know what your problem is,

You are a snob.

I hate snobs.

Get out.

Have you eaten?

Not tonight, but--

I have several new members
of court.

A Latvian boy.
Has to be tasted to be believed.

Not polluted like most humans.

Tastes exactly the way they used
to taste

just after I was turned,

before the Industrial Revolution
fucked everything to hell.

Should I summon him?
No, thank you.

There are a pressing matters
at hand I need your help with.

I need to know
how to kill a maenad.

A maenad?

In Bon Temps?
That's random.

Yes. She seems to have caused
some sort of mass hypnosis.

The whole town has devolved
to a primitive state

in a matter of days.

Oh, my, she's an old one.

Well, they're all old.


Ancient Greece, correct?

Before that even.

Orgies, sacrifice?


We suspect.

Oh, fun.

So how do I kill it?

You can't. Heh.

She's convinced herself
she's immortal and so she is.

William, surely you know that
everything that exists

imagined itself into existence.

Um, I'm not entirely familiar
with that theory, no.

Think about it.

You're a wild young girl
who's married to some jerk

who treats you like property

and is also fucking
some 14-year-old boy.

And along comes this religion,

which encourages you
to get hammered,

run naked through the woods,
have sex with whoever,

whatever, and it's all part
of getting closer to God.

I could see how that would have
its appeal,

especially to humans with their
tendency towards Puritanism.


So you're fucking everybody
in the dirt.

Why not kill something
and eat it raw?

Hey, you're super extra pious.

There's thing you can't do,
and each time you do it

just brings you one step closer
to the divine.

Isn't that delusional?

Never underestimate the power
of blind faith.

It can manifest in ways
that bend the laws of physics

or break them entirely.

I bit her and it poisoned me.

Of course it did.

We can only drink human blood,

and she's no longer
even remotely human.

But she started out as human.

Hello. Evolution?

We started out that way too.

Less than two hours till dawn.

Shall we have sex?


I haven't enjoyed sex with men

since the Eisenhower

I really ought to get back


Sookie's not in any trouble.

You would know it.

But I--

Spend the day and leave
tomorrow night.

I really would l--
I insist.

By the way, you haven't told me
what you think

of my new day room.

It's lovely.

Tara, stop pacin'.
You need to get some sleep.

We have to go get him.

And we will as soon as Bill
gets back.

He might have some information
about how to deal with Maryann.

He might have some information?

He might not.
And Eggs needs to get out now.

Tara, it's just too

How many times have you
put yourself in danger

for the man you love?

How come you get that option
and I don't?

Baby girl,
it's better this way.

Oh shit, she coming for you.

I finally found a strong,

good man who loves me,

and y'all want to keep me from
rescuing him

'cause you're afraid
I might get hurt?

How hurt do you think
I'm gonna be

if we wait and something happens
to him?

I ain't lettin' you go back
to somebody who beats you.

He beat her?

No, it-- It wasn't him.

It was Maryann.
Her influence.

She didn't throw the punches
herself, did she? No.

Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up.

Sookie, my back pocket,
get them handcuffs.

Uh, no!

These are fur.

Give me your hand.

Give me your goddamn hand.

I will never forgive you
for this. Never.

You're just jealous 'cause
I found love

and you know you never will,
you fuckin' freak.

Baby, it's for you own good.

You too. You don't want me to be
happy 'cause you never were.

I only want you to be happy.

And you had to settle
for a dead man.


That's supposed to get me
on your side?

I'm goin' on the front porch
to make sure that devil woman

don't try to come up in here.
You think she will?

All I know is if it's
supernatural and it wants you,

it ain't gonna wait for you
to come to it.

You are kiddin' me.

This ain't happenin' to you.

Seriously? You can become
any animal anytime?

Yeah, as long
as I've imprinted on it.

That is fuckin' cool, man.

Yeah, well,
as cool as that may be,

we still got a maenad
we gotta deal with

before it takes our whole town

Listen, you can't deal with it.

All right, your best bet's
to leave while you still can.

Well, shouldn't we think about
getting the law in involved?

I am involved.

Well, I meant Sheriff Dearborne,

that other guy,
the squirrelly one.

Sheriff's station was wide open
and empty.

They ain't gonna help.

Then we have got to be the law.

Guys, I read a book about this.

This is Armageddon.

This is the Oral History
of the Zombie War.

We need weapons, lots of them.

Listen, I hate to break it
to you,

but guns aren't gonna
do jack shit to Maryann.

And you can't shoot
anybody else.

All right, these are our
friends, this is our town.

Well, sometimes you need to
destroy somethin' to save it.

That's in the Bible.

Or the Constitution.

- Is she in there?
- Shhh.

Who's out there?

No need to be afraid.

Just come on out so we can see
each other.


Hey, hey.
Is our mama here?

No, no. Not right now.

Will you help us hide?


And will you make us lunch?

We haven't eaten since the day
before yesterday.


Andy and I are taking off.

Where you going?
Sheriff's office.

We gotta arm ourselves.
Hey, Coby, Lise.

Jason, no. You-- You--

You're walkin' into something
bigger and more dangerous

than you can even imagine.

Sam, I gotta do this.

Well, you're gonna
get yourself killed.

And probably a lot
of other people as well.

Just think this through.

Time for thinking is over.

It's time for action.

Well, maybe Sam's right.

Has he been to Leadership

Has he had paramilitary

You're a damn fool, Jason.

Come on.

Let's go inside, get you kids
somethin' to eat. Come on.

You're a damn fool, Jason.


By the way, you're welcome
for me saving your life!

Can you believe that?

What an asshole.

Welcome to my world, Jason.

Don't you at least
want to sit down?


It's a text from Bill.

From five hours ago.
Damn it.

I'm getting a new phone
as soon as Eric pays me.

You're working for Eric?


Bill's not coming back
until tomorrow.

Well, then I guess we better not
plan on him saving us.

Mama, you gotta let me go.

You keep me here and anything
happens to Eggs,

you will have destroyed
my one chance at true love.

you don't want true love.

True love will rip you open.
It'll tear you up.

I will forgive you.

For everything.


You know that is a lot.

And this is a one-time-only

I can't, baby.
I can't.

If you don't, God will judge

It's God telling me not to.

Uh-uh. It is Satan.

That's Satan in your
motherfuckin' Sunday hat.

Satan has been telling you
he is God for a long time,

and you've fallen for it hook,
line, and sinker.

That ain't true.

Yes, it is.

I see it in your eyes,

and it's looking right back
at me.

Like it has
ever since I was born.

God, you've never been
a real woman of God.

You never stepped outside
your own ignorance and fear

and done something selfless

for me or for anybody.

Well, God is knocking
on your door right now, Mama.

It couldn't be more loud
and clear.

Are you gonna let him in?

Lord God, I take refuge in you.

Save and deliver me
from all those who pursue me,

or they will tear at me
like a lion and rip me to pieces

and there will
be no one to rescue me.

What was it
like inside Tara's head?

Like there was no limit,

like anything could happen

and it probably will.

And you can feel your insides

but there's also this--

This emptying out

of everything right at
the very center of your being,

and you don't want that
to ever stop.


Damn, that sound nice.

Here you go.

And more
where that came from.

What's wrong with our mama?

I'm not sure.

But, uh,
I think she's sick.

Is she blind?

Well, she might be
sometimes, but not always.

Is she gonna die?

No. Not anytime soon.

Now listen, has she, uh...

Has she been sick
in front of you a lot?

She doesn't seem sick.

She seems crazy.

Is she crazy?

Everybody gets a little crazy
every now and then.

She's always kissin' Terry

and doin' other gross stuff
when her eyes get weird.

Can we get her a doctor?


Or someone to make her
like she used to be?

Like a vampire.

I bet a vampire
would know what to do.

Where's vampire Bill?

Uh, I don't know.
I think he's--

He's, uh, still in Dallas.

Don't you know
any other vampires?

How's your leg?

Better than ever.

How'd that happen?

Eric made me drink
his motherfuckin' blood

is how that happened.

Me too. He tricked me.

Somebody need
to slap that bitch.

I have.

Look at you.

Have you had

any dreams about him?

Now, Sook,
how would you know that?

What kind of dreams?

It's like he's always
in my head.

And sex dreams,
all kind of nasty and...


Which freaks me the fuck out

because I hates
that motherfucker

more than you'll ever know.

Oh, hell.
What now?


I can't
stay in there with her,

sayin' those things
that break my heart.

I will keep guard while
one of you goes to sit with her.

She can't hurt you
like she's hurtin' me.

Oh, yes, she can.

You ain't gonna
shoot yourself, is you?

Show me some respect, boy.

I'm the one who taught you
how to shoot a gun.

When those boys from your
school was givin' you trouble.

Yeah, but auntie,
that was a BB gun

you used to shoot cats with.

You shot cats?

Only when they went
to the bathroom in my yard.

All right now.

What you doin'?

Tara, baby, I got the gun!

Oh, you are not
really doing this.

Go unlock the handcuffs.


Miss Thornton,
Lafayette was recently shot.

He's been--
You go unlock Tara.

So she can go back to Maryann?

You've seen what it's like
in there. That evil.

You're sending Tara
back into it?

I got a chance
to win my baby back for real.

The Lord works
in mysterious ways.


It's-- It's in my pocket,

but I can't can't move.

I pity you.

I don't
hate you like your mama does.

You can't help what you are.

But I cannot let you
keep me and Tara apart.

And that's why
I'm gonna have to kill you.

Oh, Jesus.

I thought you wanted
to be a vampire.

You know how you feel
with my blood inside you?

Well, being a vampire
is like that...

...times a million.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

What the hell
did you do to him?


Tara, baby, go!

And don't you ever forget
I did this for you!


I need the keys.

You are being
a fuckin' idiot.

you think Sam's ever turned into a dog

and then had sex
with a lady dog?

Jesus, Jason,
you're talkin' about bestiality.

No, it ain't bestiality
if there ain't a human involved.

Then it's just nature.

Sure don't seem
like nature to me.

What the fuck?

That was Everlee Mason.

We gotta fix things,

I ain't lettin' weird shit
like this take over my town.

No fuckin' way.

Really? You dialed 911
and you got me?

Oh, honey, you are fucked.

Gotta go. Good luck.

Oh, hey there,
Detective Bellefleur.

I miT>ssed you.

Oh. Don't you remember me?

We almost had sex once.


Hey, Jason.

Hey, Rosie.


How would you like to get fucked
every which way but north?


It's okay, Andy.

I got this.

You just go get the heat.

This is a serious operation.

Ain't about you
gettin' your pole wet.

do not cockblock me.

It'll keep her from telling
anyone else we're here.

Now go.

I'm gonna
turn you inside out, boy.

Whoa. That sounds like
it's gonna hurt.

Heh-heh. Yeah.


Hey, Andy.

Come dance with me.

Come on.

When that devil
Comes a-courtin', aha

He'll catch all eight
With a right hand half

Back by the left...
Damn it, Bud!

Turn the corner by the right.
You know I hate to dance!

Make a wrong way thar
And you pickle up a doodle

In the middle of the star.


Oh. Hey.

Cut it out!

I gotta take a dump.


Why you shakin' like that?

Because he is traumatized.
Well, so am I.

I'm gonna do something and
I'll need you to move fast.

Grab the gun
when she drops it.

Can you do that?

Shh. It's all right.

She ain't gonna shoot you.

Would you please at least
lower that gun, Miss Thornton?

He is freakin' out.


Let's go get Tara.

It's not my fault!

She forgave me!
Let her go!

Sam, did you know my daddy?

Uh, I did not.

Your mom, well,

she split up with him
before I came to town.

I heard about him,

What did you hear?

That, uh--

He was, uh-- He was
a bit of a wild card,

with a big personality.

I don't even know
what he looks like.

Mama cut him out oall the pictu.

All I know is his name's Duane,
and he tattooed

Mama's name on his stomach.

Well, he must have
loved her a lot,

because you know that hurt.

Excuse me.

Oh. No, come on.

Nothin' to be afraid of.

Just here to see Eric.

He won't be here
till after dark.

Well, obviously.

I have two kids with me.

Can we wait inside?

No. I can't let anyone in
without his permission.

Not even for a...

...hundred dollars?

I can hold that for you
if you like.

Might make it a little easier
for you to drive.

Ain't nobody gonna
point this pistol but me.

Ain't nothin' personal.

Are you okay?


I need you to suck it up.

I cannot do this alone.

I know.

We just need to get in,
get Tara and get the hell out.


And if Maryann gives us
any trouble,

you have to shoot her.

I will.

I mean it.

Shoot her in the head.



Where you been?
I-I was so scared.

Don't you ever leave me again,

Oh, I won't. I promise.

I love you.

We gotta get you
out of here, okay?

Let's go somewhere else,

Listen to me.

But everything you want
is right here.

I knew you'd come.


I don't know what you are,
but I want out.

Oh, it's too late for that.

You made me
eat somebody's heart.

And you loved it.

Admit it.

You don't want us.
You want Sam.

We ain't got nothing
to do with it.

Nothing to do with it?

You summoned me.


That night in the woods with
that unfortunate pharmacist.

You saw me.

Well, you saw you through me.

Oh, Mama, please.
Don't hurt me.

One of you must die.

But Miss Jeanette was a fake.

She scammed people
by making up crazy rituals.

Oh, ritual is powerful thing.

And calling forth
that kind of energy

has consequences.

So she was real.

Sadly, no.

And I should have known
she wasn't the vessel,

but you have to try
every option, you know?

Please, just let us go.

That doesn't
work on me anymore.

That's more like it.

I wanna go--
Come on.

Maryann! Maryann!

Hey! Hey.
Get on in there.

He came.


The God Who Comes.
He came!

Yeah, and he smoked
old Sam Merlotte but good.

What are you talking about?


He had horns.

And he took Sam Merlotte
and he smote him.

And then Sam disappeared.

Just boom! Ha-ha! Gone.

And then-- And Sam's clothes
just fell to the ground.


You fucking morons!

Out! Get out!

Must I do everything myself?

You ain't got nothin' like
grenades, flamethrowers?

I'll tell you.

If you let me blow you.

Rosie, I ain't never taken
advantage of someone

while she was fucked up.

What a liar! I know for a fact
that Patsy Lyle

passed out in the middle
of having sex with you.

She was fine when it started.

Come on.

I'm real good at it.

I just wouldn't feel right
about it, darlin'.

Would you feel
right about it now?

Shoot him.

I want to see what happens
to his head.

What's the game

with the one bullet
in the gun

and you don't know
if it'll go off or not?

That Chinese fire drill?

Russian roulette.
Yeah, that's it.


Kevin, drop it.

You fucker!

Jason. It's okay.



You get one for me?

Only got the one.

Well, that sucks.

You know how big this match is.

Not only
are both of these men

champions of their respective
brand, I mean, you know...

Damn. I should have
frozen these Snickers bars first.

Aw, what the hell.

It's all gonna melt
when I cook it.

Maybe I'll freeze it then.

Mama, what the heck
are you doin'?

Hot sauce.


Oh, God.

Nobody's gonna eat that.

Aw, he will.

And he is gonna love it.

Ooh, we have to hurry.

we ain't goin' nowhere.

Maryann will remember this day
for the rest of her life.

I don't have the heart to tell
her it's all downhill from here.

What the hell
are you talkin' about?

'Cause there ain't a woman alive
who'd go through with it

if she knew the truth.

Oh, Hoyt, you can go ahead

and pack that box of chardonnay
in the car.

Mama, we ain't goin'.

You are not keepin' me
from this.

When Daddy died, I promised you
I would take care of you.

You were ten. Let it go.

I've already let
too much bad happen to you.

You haven't let enough
bad happen to me.

You know how many times I wanted
to go down to Merlotte's

and drink myself silly

and find some dumb redneck
to take to my bed?

But no.

I had to take care of you.

You ain't yourself right now.

Lordy, boy,

you are every bit
as big a pansy as your daddy.

Daddy was a hero.

Daddy was a secret drinker.

You want to know
what I really think?

A closet homosexual.

That man just liked to dance
more than a normal man should.

I don't want to hear this.

It's just mean.

Now, Daddy died protecting me
and you from a burglar.

Daddy put a bullet
in his own head,

'cause he was too weak
to handle his responsibilities.


I lied and said it was
a burglar,

'cause otherwise
we'd have never gotten

that life insurance money,
dumb ass.

My Gran lived
and died in that house,

and now it's like people

who are the exact opposite
of everything she was are...

Oh yeah, baby! Good.

are defiling her.

I almost got raped in Dallas,

but this is so much worse.

Don't take it personal,

They ain't themselves,

and they're not doin' it
on purpose.

The first time I met Maryann,
I knew there was something

seriously off about her.

She was thinking
creepy foreign stuff,

and I could tell
it wasn't good.

I mean,
you couldn't have stopped her.

How come there's so much wrong
in the world, Lafayette?

How come so many people
are willing to do bad things

and hurt other people?

Because they're weak.

Well, I am not weak,
and I am not afraid.

I am gonna kick that bitch's
evil ass out of my Gran's house

and then you
are gonna shoot her.

In the fuckin' head.

Hey! Y'all are trespassin'.

You're gonna have to pay
a fine.

Or go to the brig.

The fine is a hundred million
dollars and your pants.

I'll take that gun.
Hey. Hey, about drugs?

Would you take some drugs?

No! I do not take drugs,
thank you.

What do you got?
MDMA. Pharmaceutical grade.

You ain't got no oxy?

Drugs are for losers,

It'll make sex
real nice.

Ah, okay. Give me.

How much you want?
All of 'em.

Yeah. 'Cause if a job
ain't worth doin' all out,

then why order a hamburger

unless there's steak at home
or somethin' like that, right?

I don't want to wait anymore.
Going in through the back porch.

I'll be right behind you,
soon as I get done

with these bugeyed freaks.

Ooh, I got a yellow one.

Here, chickie chickie.

Here, chickie chickie.

Why should I help you, shifter?

Because I need your help.

We need it.

And hopefully someday

I might be able to give you
somethin' you need.

Can you give me
Sookie Stackhouse?


Well, that's a shame.

That would be a tribute
I would not soon forget.

I'm not here
to give you tribute, Eric.

you're here to request my help

based on a hypothetical future
in which you return the favor.

But you are known to not be
friendly toward those like me.

Why should I trust you?

Because until somebody starts
trusting somebody,

we're all single targets
just ripe for the picking.

I have no knowledge
of this maenad creature,

although I suspect
it's the bullheaded beast

that passed through recently.
Right, Pam?

That thing owes me
a pair of shoes.

So can you help us or no

I do know someone who might be
able to offer something useful.

Might be able to.

Can we see your fangs?

Don't you like vampires,
little girl?


Our almost stepdaddy
hated vampires,

but we don't.

He went on a vacation
with Jesus.

You make me so happy
I never had any of you.

Oh, come on, Pam. They're funny.

They're like humans,
but miniature.

Teacup humans.

So can you call this other
person who might be able to...

Better yet, I'll go see her.

But I must leave right away.

No problem.

I'll walk you out.

You have
my cell phone number.

I'll let you know if I learn
anything of use to you.

Good night, tiny humans.

Whoa! He can fly!

Come on.
Come on, Coby.

Let's get you two back
to Bon Temps.

Come on, get in.

Let's go.

Here we go. All done.

Lookie here.

It's a present.

He loves presents.

Remember when your Gran was
layin' here all bloody and dead?

Of course I do.

come on down here with me.


Shh. It's okay.


It's okay. It's okay.



Come on.


Mmm, you smell good.

You don't.

Not at all.

Makes you feel more alive

bein' in the presence of death,
don't it?

Well, I guess
you'd know that.

Not as much as you.

How come you let him put
his dead pecker inside you?

Huh. It ain't natural
and it ain't right.

I don't think you're in any
position to talk about

what's natural and right.

♪ Oh, the good life ♪

♪ Full of fun ♪

♪ Seems to be the ideal ♪

♪ Yes, the good life ♪

♪ Let's you hide
All the sadness you feel ♪

♪ You won't really
Fall in love ♪

♪ For you can't
Take the chance ♪

What are you
in the mood for?

Oh, nothin' for me,
thank you.

William, you have to eat before
we play Yahtzee.

I need you to play
your best game.

I only feed from Sookie.

Why on Earth would you do that?

Your Majesty, I implore you.

If you've told me everything
about maenads,

then give me leave
to return to Bon Temps.

Oh, dear.


Your Majesty.

Ludis, this is my good friend
Bill Compton.

Would you allow him
to feed from you?

Yes, of course.

I appreciate the offer,
but the--

you have to at least try him.

I insist.

I will have a sex with you.

That will not be necessary.

I love watching
two men together.

Can I help you?

Horse nettle.

Also known as bull nettle,
the Devil's tomato,

and my personal favorite,
the apple of Sodom.

It's quite poisonous.

But in the tiniest of doses,

a savory addition
to any wine-based sauce.


Gives it a pungent hint
of madness.

A little touch of total abandon.

And I can tell that you
are no stranger--

Bitch, I said stop!

--to total abandon.

Oh, poor Karl.

You didn't really advance much
in this lifetime.

You cook, don't you?

Oh, I hate threes.

Your Majesty,
I really need to leave.


Maenads are sad silly things.

The world changed centuries ago

and they're still waiting
for the God Who Comes.

Does he ever come?

Of course not.
Gods never actually show up.

They only exist in humans'
minds, like money and morality.

If I can't kill her, how do I
get her to leave Bon Temps?

She has to believe that she's
successfully summoned forth

Dionysus in hope tha,

quite literally devour her,
until she's lost into oblivion.

So she seeks death,
uh, the true death.

The one thing
she's evolved beyond.

Ironic, isn't it?

You know, they're really not
that smart, these maenads.

So how does she summon this
nonexistent god of hers?

I never said
he was nonexistent.

I just said
he never comes.

She believes if she finds
the perfect vessel,

sacrifices and devours
part of him or her

while surrounded by the magic
of her familiars,

then her mad god will appear.
At that point,

when she willingly surrenders
herself to him--

That's the only point
she can be killed.

He was the smartest boy
in class.

The perfect vessel,
um, human?

They prefer
supernatural beings.

The two-natured.

Shifters, yes.

And Weres.

Fortunately, they show
little interest in us.

Something about our hearts
not beating.

But they'll try any other being
that straddles the two worlds.

As long as it has
a beating heart.

You have to remember, they've
been trying for centuries.

They're constantly improvising
their recipes

in hopes of finding
that one magic element

that will make it all happen.


Excuse me.

keep our guests entertained, won't you?

Really? How interesting.

How's my cousin Sookie?

She's good.

Be sure and tell her I said hey.

I will.

How's Gran?

I'd love to talk to her

but I owe her so much money.

I think it's best
that you are not in touch.

Oh, I know.

There's no place for me
in that world anymore.

Still think about 'em, though.

That'll be all.

Well, seems your friend
Mr. Northman is here.

Then it's definitely time
for me to go.

This alpha male posturing,

you two really should
just fuck each other

and get it over with. I could

Thank you for seeing me.

Enjoy your
restricted diet.

I do look forward
to meeting her.


What are you
doing here?

Hoping the queen can tell me
how to kick a maenad's ass.

Now why would you want
to do that?

So that you'll look like a hero
to Sookie?

Oh, Billy.

This paranoia, it's really
quite unbecoming.

Has she uh, mentioned me?


That was really
quite desperate of you,

tricking her
into drinking your blood

so that she became attracted
to you.

Unlike you who fed her
your own blood

the very night you met.

How do you know that?

So you're not denying it?

I was saving her life.

Isn't that convenient?

You stay away
from Sookie, Eric.

Or I will tell the queen
that you're forcing humans

to sell vampire blood for you.

You wouldn't.

I won't,

as long as you never come close
to Sookie ever again.

I don't like threats, Bill.

Neither do I.

Why are we parking so far away?

So we can
sneak up on them.

Element of surprise.

Carbs. Load up.


You think Sam could turn into
a chicken and lay his own egg?

Wouldn't that be weird,

eating something that
just came out of you?

What kind of a perverted brain

would even think of something
like that?

Why ain't you never liked me,

Is it because
how much pussy I get?


Because I ain't taking
any pussy away from you.

There is more than enough
pussy to go around.

It ain't about pussy.

I just think you've had
everything too easy.

What have I ever had
that was easy?

You were
all-state quarterback.

You think that was easy?

I'm starting to have
knee issues,

and I ain't even 30 yet.

What else?

Well, yeah, women do just
throw themselves at you.

You don't even have
to do anything.

Yeah, well,
actually I do.

I work out like a motherfucker,

and I watch a lot of porn
to learn stuff.

What else?

Well, my best friend
killed my grandma

and my girlfriend.

I come from no money.

My mama, my daddy:
died when I was 11.

So did mine.

Your daddy died
in Vietnam,

but your mama ran off with some
Yankee race car driver.

You may hate me,
Andy Bellefleur.

You may think you're better
than me, and maybe you are,

but you and me are the ones
who have received

the calling to save this town.

So obviously God wants us
to bury the hatchet.

It's all up to us,
ain't it?

It is.

And we can't fuck it up.

We won't fuck it up.

Because this town might be full
of crazy rednecks and dumbasses,

but they're still Americans,

And that used to mean something.

It still does.



Let's go.

Funny thing is,

I've always hated blood.

Yeah, I never wanted to be
a coroner or a undertaker.

I wanted to be a DJ
or a boat captain.

Mike, enough with the foreplay.

Let's just-- Let's just do it

On one condition.

I have to be on top.

Fine by me.

That's better for my back,

Oh, yeah, baby.

You-- Oh, yeah,

I want me some of that.

Show me how you can
shake your moneymaker.

Oh, that's it.


Too much?

Way too much.


What are you doing?

Oh, tear it up.
It's paid for.

That's Gran's!

No, I need it
for the nest.

Where you been at?

I was looking for you.

♪ Listen to my heart
As it starts to spin ♪

♪ Wish when you kiss me
I do it again ♪

♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪

♪ Watch my eyes
When you light them up ♪

♪ Listen to me whine
Like a harpsichord ♪

♪ When you touch me
I warm right up ♪

♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪

♪ Frenzy ♪

♪ This love gushes
From my heart ♪

♪ Like water from a spout ♪

♪ You build a flame
From a tiny spark ♪

♪ You can really knock me out ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ease my mind
With your real cool lines ♪

♪ Daddy, fill my soul
With love divine ♪

♪ When you say
You're mine, all mine ♪

♪ I'm in a frenzy ♪