Touched by an Angel (1994–2003): Season 3, Episode 24 - Last Call - full transcript

Monica is told she can use one miracle to help someone at a bar, but as all the patrons seem to need help, she does not know how to decide which person to help.

(SIREN WAILING)

MAN 1: Taxi! Taxi!

(POLICE WHISTLE BLOWING)

MAN 2: Let's go, please. Keep it moving.
Keep it moving. Come on.

TESS: ♫ There's a somebody
I'm longing to see

♫ I hope that he turns out to be

♫ Someone who'll watch over me

♫ I need somebody

♫ Someone who will watch

♫ Over little me ♫

That was lovely, Tess.



Where have you...

Where have you been?

Uh, just walking.
I've been a bit depressed.

You still have to show up
for work.

Angels don't call in sick.

Anyway, you have no business
being depressed.

It's a wonderful world
out there,

and you got a chance
to be an angel in it.

I know that,

but, Tess, haven't you ever
felt disappointed by mankind?

All the time, but we don't get depressed.
We get to work.

I suppose so, but some days
it's not that easy.

I mean,
have you seen the newspapers?

The headlines
make me want to weep.



Do you believe
everything you read?

There's so much hatred
and sadness and confusion.

And hope. I don't know, Tess.

Sometimes it seems so hopeless,

as if it would take a miracle to change
the direction the world is moving in.

That's exactly how the world is
changed, one miracle at a time,

and one of those miracles
is gonna happen here tonight.

A miracle here? It's not
gonna change everything,

but it's gonna change everything
for everybody in this room,

including an angel.

No, Tess,
I don't feel up to it today.

That's exactly why you're going to
be the one to hand this miracle out.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

♫ When you walk down the road

♫ Heavy burden, heavy load

♫ I will rise
and I will walk with you

♫ I'll walk with you
till the sun don't even shine

♫ Walk with you, every time

♫ I tell you I'll walk with you

♫ Walk with you

♫ Believe me
I'll walk with you ♫

I have one miracle to give away?

That's right.

To anyone, any miracle,
no limits?

No limits, no restrictions. Just go
ahead and blow somebody away, baby.

(SIGHS) Tess, I don't think
I want the responsibility.

That's your assignment,
angel girl.

Make a choice,
decide who gets the miracle,

and the Father will make it
clear to you later.

(SIGHING)

Noah, I'm going on my break now.

Ten minutes,
two breaks every night,

(DOG BARKING)
and if you want this job,

don't bring that dog
in here anymore.

He was just visiting.

Come on, baby.

(BARKING)

Let's find you
a friendlier corner.

One miracle, your choice.
Get going.

Gimme me breakfast, kid. One
Irish whiskey, coming up.

I paid the gas bill.
It went up again.

All the more reason to hang out here.
Save on heat at home.

Perfect Manhattan up?

One perfect Man
for my perfect man.

Gotta keep paddling harder and harder
just to keep your head above water.

Why am I always
behind the eight ball?

Why did God invent whiskey?

I don't know, Claude. Why?

So the Irish
couldn't rule the world.

CLAUDE: (LAUGHING)
That's a good one, isn't it?

Yes, it's a good one, Claude.

You're an angel, Marie.

What would I do
without this woman?

Think that fella's coming in
again tonight?

Yeah, I hope so. This place
could use a pick-me-up.

Oh, just you wait.
I'll take him tonight.

Nobody beats Claude Bell
four nights in a row.

Here's hoping
that guy shows up, Ernie.

He's gonna bring good luck
for you for lotto. I know it.

Big jackpot tonight.
You play the usual?

I've worked at the Taft Hotel
for 17 years.

I've drunk perfect Manhattans
for 20,

and I've played the same lottery
numbers for the last 15 years.

6-12-8-2.

Our wedding anniversary.

Here's to the steadiest guy
I know.

Here's to Chicago,
my lousy fate.

I don't believe in fate.

So what?
You don't believe in anything.

What can I do you for, miss?

Oh, I'd love a cup of coffee.

Do you have
any decaf mocha lattes?

This is Chicago, miss,
not Seattle.

Coffee I've got,
candy drinks I don't.

Then a cup of coffee
it is, please.

You have a lot of big talkers
in here, huh?

And the biggest one
hasn't even showed up yet.

They tell me everything,
and it's all lies,

but behind every lie
I can see the truth.

Really?

You're new around here,
aren't you?

You have a lovely place here.

(CHUCKLES)

I'd like to fix it up,
hire somebody to help, but...

Pipe dreams.

I'd hang the dry wall myself, but
only the lower half would be nailed.

(LAUGHING)

You've made this room
work for you, though.

Well, yeah.

We had a little excitement
here a few years ago.

Joint got shot up and so did I.

I figured I had to close down
or build these ramps.

Closing down was tough.
The ramps were easy.

Noah, what's a five-letter
word for Islamic warrior?

You got me, Loafer.

How about "Ernie"?

(SCOFFS) That's a five-letter
word for barfly.

NOAH: New lady here, Loafer.

Loafer gives every newcomer
a shoe reading.

A shoe reading? She's uncanny.

She can tell you everything about a
person by studying their footwear.

(DOOR OPENING)

Greetings, greetings
and salutations.

Buddy! Hey, here's the man.

A little gift for my friends.

(LOAFER EXCLAIMING)

Courtesy of Airmaster Fans, the
ceiling fan of your dreams.

Oh, thank you so much.

Take and enjoy.

Senor, amigo, my compadre.

Where's my old friend
Mr. Martini?

BUDDY: (ON RECORDER) Where's
my old friend Mr. Martini?

(ALL LAUGHING)

What the heck is that?

Oh, just another
microchip miracle, Claude.

Something they gave out at the
sales meeting this morning.

Ah, Marty! There he is.

My old chum.

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, God,
let me get drunk tonight.

ERNIE: Oh, here's to that.
LOAFER: Hear, hear.

(MARIE LAUGHING)

Mmm.

BUDDY: Hey, a newcomer.

Let me call Mr. Wizard.

(LAUGHING)

Hello, there.

Uh, name a card. Any card.

Uh, jack of hearts.

Very good.

Now just a quick visit
to the red phone.

Excuse us.

Hello, Mr. Wizard?

Well, hang on. Let me find out.

And your name, dear, is? Monica.

Ah.

Mr. Wizard, here's Monica.

Hello, Mr. Wizard?

Yes. Well, yes, you are.

Uh, goodbye.

He was right.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(TESS CLAPPING)

Tess, how did he know that?

That telephone call
is just an old bar trick.

These people are amusing themselves
to death, and I mean to death,

and don't you
get caught up in it,

because you've got
an assignment.

Tess, everyone here
needs a miracle.

You can see it in their faces.

How can I pick just one?
I can't.

I want to give the miracle back.

No dice, baby.
You've got to make a choice.

(LIVELY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

♫ Things are confusing
You don't know what to do

♫ It seems the world
is closing in on you

♫ It's time to move but you
don't know where to go

♫ You're in a panic
but you can't let it show

♫ I know just where to find
the answer you seek

♫ A conversation
where you need not even speak

♫ Steel yourself and turn
to one who really cares

♫ Take your burdens
to the Lord in prayer

♫ He sure can work it out Yeah

♫ My God can work it out
Oh, yeah

♫ Don't worry He'll work it out

♫ Work it out

♫ Yes, he will He'll work it out

♫ God can meet you there
in prayer ♫

MONICA: Need a mirror?

Thanks.

Oh, man, what a wreck.

I'm Monica. I'm new here.

What about you?

Ah, Bemidji.

That's in Minnesota, right?

(CORRECTING PRONUNCIATION)
Bemidji.

Yeah, up north.

Friendly place?

People are people
wherever you go.

Well, people can surprise you
if you give them a chance.

What's your name?

Amethyst.

Like the February gemstone.

That's when you were born?

October.

My mother screwed that up, too.

Yeah, so, nice talking.

Amethyst,
would you like a miracle?

I need a one-night miracle,
a place to sleep.

No, I'm talking about
an all-your-lifetime miracle.

Look, lady, you don't
have to worry about me.

I've got a plan.

On behalf of the Lollipop Guild,
welcome to Munchkin Land.

We really are
quite friendly here.

The name's Amethyst,
like the February...

Like the lovely violet
February gemstone.

You know, I spent
the coldest week of my life

selling ceiling fans
in St. Paul.

Cold people.

Especially if you're different.

Nothing harder in the world
than feeling like an outsider.

There's someone
who'll always let you in.

God.

You handing out Watchtowers
or what?

Oh, let's give her a break. She's
trying to make a tough sale.

Go ahead, young lady.
Let's hear your pitch.

A pitch?

No, I don't have a pitch.

I have a miracle.

Oh, miracles.
That's always a great line.

What do you got,
a miracle weight-loss product?

A miracle lint remover?
I've pushed them all.

No.

I just have a life-changing
miracle from God.

Huh. That's swell.

Why don't you share that
with everyone?

Yeah, wait right here
and I'll go prime the crowd.

When I give you the high sign,
you speak up.

Okay.

Psst.

Bet you five bucks the new gal's
nuttier than anyone here.

Which one?
The jailbait or Mary Poppins?

Mary Poppins.

(CHUCKLING) Her?

She's a straight arrow.
You're on.

Quiet, folks. The lady's
got an announcement.

I come with glad tidings.

I am an angel sent by God,

and I have a miracle
to hand out here tonight.

Is this like a genie?
We get three wishes?

No.

Is she gonna do a bar trick?

Uh, no. No tricks.

This is not about
granting wishes.

This is a gift.

A precious gift from God,

and he knows what you want,
but more than that,

he knows what you need.

What'd she say?
BUDDY: She said...

MONICA: (ON RECORDER)
I am an angel sent by God.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, well, God, I need a drink.

Hey, I gave at the office.

Where's your halo, honey?

Noah, put this
on God's tab, okay?

(ALL ROARING WITH LAUGHTER)

LOAFER: Let me see your wings.

(ALL JEERING)

LOAFER: Fruitcake!

(DOOR CLOSING)

He's here.

Who? The guy?

He's back.

So, what's so funny?

Uh, some dame came in
and said she was an angel.

Said she was giving away
a miracle.

(SCOFFING) A miracle.

Hmm. Sounds interesting.

So you came back, stranger.
Didn't expect to see you again.

Yeah, well, my boss wanted me to take
care of some stuff in town before I left,

and plus, I couldn't say
goodbye to Claude yet.

Well, I'm glad you stayed. Now
Claude can die a happy man.

Well, it's a good thing
to die happy.

I've got them racked and ready.
Okay. All right.

Little coffee first, then
it's you and me, mano a mano.

I'm in no hurry.
(LAUGHING) Okay.

Hot dog! The guy showed up.

And so did an angel.

An angel with a miracle and a
pool shark in the same night.

My planets are really lining up.

Lotto Millionaire's Club,
here I come.

(LAUGHING) Yeah.

Marie, that young lady,

you think you could find
her a place to stay?

Rooming house or something?

Oh, sure, Buddy.
I can come up with something.

Reminds me of somebody.

NOAH: Black, no sugar, right?

ANDREW: It's perfect.
You remembered.

ANDREW: Thank you.

You okay, baby?

I just want to be alone
for a while.

Okay.

You play pool for a living?

Oh, no, no. It's just a hobby.

Let me get a shot of whiskey.
Good whiskey.

Double.

I've got this plan.

Ah. Well, plans are good.

I'd like to hear yours.

Promise you won't laugh?

Promise.

I'm not smart.

I'm not talented.

I mean, I don't do anything,
you know?

That's what my dad always says.

But I figure

a woman has always got
something to sell.

Right?

You know, I mean,
when worse comes to worse,

and believe me,
it can't get much worse,

at least I've got my body
to fall back on for a while.

You know,

it really only takes a night
to lose yourself.

I know,
but that's part of the plan.

I'm gonna die tonight.

Temporarily.

Just close my eyes

and be sort of dead for a while.

And I'll only be dead for a year

while I save up
for dental hygiene school,

and then a year'll be over
and I'll come back to life.

That's not the way
that people get resurrected.

Something's broken, Noah.

I'm not getting that buzz.
Give me another.

You can't take chances
with your life like that,

or your soul.

Yeah, well,
it's the best I can do.

I told you, I'm not smart.

Excuse me.

There's a friend of mine
I'd like for you to meet.

BUDDY: Marie? MARIE: Mmm-hmm?

This is Amethyst.
Isn't that a pretty name?

Oh, yes. Hi, honey.

Hi.

Come on, young fella.

The table's clean,
my hands are warm.

You're not gonna
take me again tonight.

Oh, you don't know who you're playing with.
I might surprise you.

Well, you don't know
who you're playing with.

I used to play trombone
in a hotel band

until rock 'n' roll came along.

I was a typesetter until
the computers took over.

Guys who work with their hands
are a thing of the past.

This is all I'm good for now.

Well, once you give up,
you start to die.

Well, so be it. Let's break.

Claude. Huh?

Tell me this.

If you could still work,

I mean, you could find
something that mattered,

would you do it?

Oh, that'd take a miracle.

That's what
that angel was selling.

What angel?

I've seen a thousand angels
on the head of a pin.

I've never seen an angel
under a pool table.

So what about this angel?

She was giving away a miracle,

but it had to be
something that we needed.

Hmm.

I suppose that's better
than getting what we deserved.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Okay, so what about
this miracle?

What do you need?

Marie is concierge
at the Taft Hotel.

Yeah, and she knows the city like
the back of her hand. Well...

And I'll call
on anyone you need.

I'm king of the cold call.

You're a nice guy, Buddy.

(SHUSHING) You'll blow my cover.

♫ When I was very young

♫ The world was younger than I ♫

Hey, let's dance.

Whoa!

So what about you, my friend?

What do you need?

You talking to me? Yeah, yeah.

We're just having
a little discussion here.

You want me to join in? Yes.

Then call me Mr. Burns.

Okay, Mr. Burns,
what would your miracle be?

I ain't been called mister
in a long time.

That's good enough for me.

I don't need nothing else.

Psst.

Um, I believe in God,

but Ernie believes
in the lottery.

Hmm.

Well, tell me,
what would your miracle be?

What do you need?

Oh, I need to be needed.

And I am, by Ernie.

That's all.

I'm happy.

When I was a kid, I used to
skip stones on Lake Michigan

and dream about having a boat
someday to sail across it.

Thirty-seven years. It's still there.
I'm still here.

The lottery jackpot's
up to $1.6.

They're gonna announce it
on TV in an hour.

You know, I spend 12 hours a day

listening to other people
and their problems.

I need some time alone
to listen to myself.

I need a five-letter word
for Islamic warrior.

I need to play 32 bars of music

with a horn section
that knows what it's doing.

But who wants to hear
A String of Pearls anymore?

If you could get your hand on
a miracle, what would it be?

I ought to tell you something.

I picked the name Amethyst when I
drove over the bridge into Wisconsin.

I picked it, I don't know,
'cause it's beautiful.

I'd like to be beautiful.

I know that I'm not,
but I'd like to.

Is that crazy?

No.

Reminds me of my daughter.

How old is she?

Let's see. She was 16.
That was 11 years ago.

That makes her what, 27 now?

You haven't seen her
in 11 years?

Well, I wasn't
what you call a model father.

I was never at home
anywhere but a hotel.

Anne is sweet, like you.

That's funny.

That's my real name, Anne.

Buddy? Mmm-hmm?

My miracle?

What? What do you want?

To be loved.

Don't we all, kid? Don't we all?

Hey, I'm gonna tell you
everything I've learned in life,

free of charge.

You know, I've sold
everything under the sun.

I can sell you anything.

No matter what you're hawking,

what you're really pitching
is hope.

When I'm selling ceiling fans, I'm
not selling blades and a motor.

I'm selling cool, fresh air,

something better out of life,
something sweet.

You're always pitching hope.

And that's the one thing I could
never give my own daughter.

Don't that beat all?

So,

can I interest you in any hope?

Anne...

(SIGHING)

Craziest thing.

Takes me longer and longer
to get drunk.

Good break.

Your shot.

Okay.

Uh, I will take stripes.

Good luck.

Holy cow.

Angel in the corner pocket.

Look out, folks. You got a
miracle coming your way.

(ALL LAUGHING)

You have had plenty of time
to pout.

Are you ready
to face these people now?

I feel worse now than when I walked in.
I'm ready to leave.

You think you can do that? Tess,

they have laughed at me.

They cursed me.
They humiliated me.

They think I'm a joke.
Now you know how God feels.

They laugh at him.

They take his name in vain.

They say he's dead.

They ignore him completely,
and it happens every day.

You don't see him give up.

And he wants you to learn how
to hang in there, too, baby.

And I know this is hard for you,

but he's counting on you
to give this miracle away.

Will you do that for him?

Yes.

All right, now,
go back in there.

Do it once more with feeling.

Go on.

Okay, it's got a "Z" in it,
this five-letter word for...

I am an angel from God. I am.

And he sent me here tonight
to give someone a miracle.

I guess I finally got drunk.

No, she's real.

NOAH: Look at that light.

We're looking
at an honest-to-God angel.

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.

Why did I have to light up
before you believed me?

Why weren't the words enough?

I believed you.

I didn't wanna get laughed at,
but I believed you.

I saw the words leaving you and
catching light as they left you,

and for the first time
it was like seeing truth.

That's very scary.

Oh, don't be afraid to speak.

"Fear not" is the first
message from God.

And I have been sent here
to listen and to help.

For example,

that Islamic warrior,
the word is ghazi.

G-H-A-Z-I.

It's not a miracle.
I just happen to know that.

(LAUGHING) Thanks.

And you have something else
that you want,

but you're too afraid
to ask for it.

BUDDY: Excuse me.

Um, Monica...

Is that really your name?

That's the name
that God gave me.

You know God?

Yes.

You're standing in my crummy little
bar on North Halsted Street,

and you know God?

You've seen him?

Yes.

What's God like?

God is...

He is...

You don't need me
to tell you about him.

You, too, can know God.

Oh, I don't think so.

Too much bad water
under the bridge.

You're gonna have to
send me snapshots of heaven.

Is there a heaven?

Oh, yes, Amethyst,

and God wants to share it
with you,

all of you.

Not me.

I'm a lost cause, like Claude.

It's too late.

Twenty years of bad living
doesn't go away.

No, it doesn't,

but God can take those years

and forgive them and forget them

and make them new again,
if only you let him.

There's always a catch.

No, Mr. Burns, there's no catch.

Maybe you're just frightened.

Yeah, right.

What if I told you that if you
were to pick up the phone,

that you would get God
at the other end of the line?

He could be there
for all of you,

right now.

Find out
what he wants to say to you.

MONICA: Go on.

I told a teacher once
that he was my favourite.

"Really?" he said, "Then why didn't
you pay attention in class?"

I'm scared that
that's what God would do.

He'd say, "Why did you
screw up so much?"

I don't know what I'd say.

What would that miracle be
exactly,

just hearing him talk?

Well, the miracle would be
different for each one of you.

I'm ready now
to give one miracle away.

One miracle?

One miracle.

We could draw straws.

We could break for it.

No, it's my choice

and I want it
to be the right one.

You're all friends.

Who should I give
the miracle to?

Give it to Noah.

You know what?
I don't need a miracle.

Give it to some poor bugger
who really needs a hand.

Give it to Claude.

Me? A miracle? Why?
I've lived my life.

I've had my laughs.
My time's done.

If you only got one miracle,
don't waste it on me.

CLAUDE: You, miss, you're young.

You got your whole life
in front of you.

You take the miracle.

Amethyst, are you ready?

I can't invite God into my life right now.
It's too messy.

Maybe in a year

when my plan works,
when I'm ready,

when I'm better.

No, thanks.

Right on, girl.

Don't let nobody
take your power.

And what's real here?

This lady's an angel.
That's real.

Y'all got a power structure, but
you can't let it run your life.

Won't run mine.

That's your choice, Mr. Burns.

I can't make you do anything.

Neither can God.

Nobody's gonna tell me
what I need anymore.

I played that game.

I have a gift here.

Doesn't anyone want it?

The miracle should go to someone
who deserves it, like Buddy.

Buddy, this is your chance
to get what you need.

What do I need?

Well, I mean,
what more do I need?

I have my pals.

I got my friend here,
my amigo, my compadre.

He never criticizes, never nags.

Always there for me.

I got what I need.

What about your daughter?

A girl I haven't seen
in 11 years?

She probably hates me.

Why do I need another woman
in my life who hates me?

But my friend here

gives me love,
unconditional love.

(SIGHING HAPPILY) Bingo.

There's that feeling.

God, I love getting sloshed.

Sorry, no sale.

Take your miracle
to another buyer.

They don't want a miracle,
Tess. What's wrong with them?

They're scared, baby.

They're all watching the door,
waiting for salvation to come in

and change somebody else's life.

It's too frightening to think
of changing their own.

Don't they believe in God?

Of course they do, but they
don't wanna phone him up,

because he might actually answer

and start getting involved
in their lives.

Then they'd have to decide
whether to sit there

or get up off their duffs

and let him start
changing their lives.

It seems such an easy choice.

Well, baby, sometimes people
prefer the devil they know

to the miracle that they don't.

But you just be patient

and remember, some miracles
are not one-day affairs.

They're so big, you're not
even aware they're unfolding.

MARIE: I'll take that miracle.

I'll take that miracle.

I'll take it
and give it to Ernie,

because he is the best in the
world and he deserves a miracle.

Look. Look at the TV.

6-12-8-2.
Now, those are our numbers.

6-12-8-2. That's it!
Our wedding anniversary!

Oh, my God!

That's it! That's it!

We won the lottery! Yes!

The miracle! We got the miracle!

Oh, no, Ernie,
you've got it wrong.

God bless you, Marie.

You did it, Marie!

Congratulations, kid!

Here's to the miracle.

No, no, this is not the miracle.

I got the winning ticket
right here.

(STAMMERING) Wait, wait.
Where's my wallet?

I had it. Uh...

No, it was right here.

Someone stole it.

Someone swiped my wallet!
Well, it's gotta be here.

I'll find it, honey. I'll take
care of everything. Where is it?

Ernie, God does not... God!

What a joke.

An angel hands me a miracle
and I still can't win.

You never let yourself win,
Ernie.

First you're afraid
of getting a miracle,

then you're thanking God
for some winning numbers.

Don't you understand that winning
a lottery is not a miracle?

And then you're blaming God for
something he had nothing to do with.

Stop looking outside of
yourself for answers, Ernie.

Stop him! He's a thief!

Don't let him get away!

He was sitting here. He took my wallet!
Shut up.

Who you talking to like that?

You show me some respect.

Respect?

Oh, dear God in heaven,
it's him.

That's what he said.

That's the man who shot me.

I'm right, aren't I?

It's you?

Yeah.

I shot you.

I done my time and now I'm out.

I haven't thought about you
in years.

I didn't realize
12 of them had gone by.

I thought about you every day.

Right here.

I think they took the bullet
out of the bar right here.

Yeah, that's right. Right there.

I walked into Joliet in 1985.

Yesterday I walked back out.

I walked out of those gates and
I looked around and I thought

somebody...

My buddy Douglas, my sister,
somebody would be there for me.

But it was just a driveway

and the road
leading out of Joliet.

So I started walking,

following one foot
in front of the other,

and here I am.

(CHUCKLING)

I guess I just wanted to see
someone who knew me.

It's crazy, isn't it?

Maybe that's why
there's an angel here tonight.

Can you explain this, angel?

I have a miracle
to give away, Mr. Burns,

a miracle
that no one seems to want.

Guess it makes as much sense as
anything else in the world anymore.

It's all crazy, you know.

I spent the past 12 years
thinking about life,

and in the end it still
doesn't make any sense.

You know what?

I spent 12 years

trying to figure out how to get a
wheelchair up a six-inch curb,

and how to mail a letter
from a box that was too high,

and why my legs don't work,

and why I woke up for years
wishing that I was dead.

Your sentence is over, Burns.

What about mine?

Get out of my bar.

ERNIE: Wait.

He's not leaving till he gives
me back my wallet. He stole it!

(DOG GROWLING)
MARIE: Ernie, look.

It's my wallet! You come
here, you little mutt.

(BARKING) ERNIE: Here
it is, our meal ticket.

Here. Guard this with your life, Marie.
This is our miracle.

So your God didn't forget us
after all.

You know,
your God is quite a kidder.

He had us going there
for a while.

Miracles still happen.
Let's celebrate!

BUDDY: Drinks on you!

I always knew
the angels were beautiful.

Heaven won't have me, but at
least I got to see an angel.

Amethyst...

How could you do this?

Why are you torturing him? What?

I thought you were real. I
thought you were an angel. Look.

It's not right. It's
supposed to say 6-12-8-2,

but it says 6-12-8-3.

The numbers are wrong.

When he bought the ticket, he must've
been too drunk to get the numbers right.

ERNIE: What is it, darling?

Well...

Um, I don't know, but, uh...

(STAMMERING) But what?

Um, I'll call
the lottery office.

What?

(BURNS LAUGHING)

He's got the wrong numbers.

He was too blitzed
to get it right.

You idiots.

You bunch of deadbeats.

Man plays the same number
for 15 years

and screws it up
the one week it counts.

And your wife's too blind
to see she married a man

who can't even
brush his own teeth.

Lady, you know how to help
everybody but yourself.

The super-salesman,

king of the cold calls.

Too afraid to dial his own
daughter on the telephone.

"They keep putting me
out of work."

You're putting yourself
on the bread line, you lush.

And who do you think
you're fooling?

You wouldn't last two weeks
out on those streets.

Nobody'd pay 20 bucks
for what you got to offer.

Knock it off.

No problem. She's all yours.

And you, scared man in a chair.

A little man who never comes
clean about what he's feeling.

The lowest sort of coward, who gets all his
friends drunk and then pours them another.

I'm glad I shot you.

No, I'm not.

I only wish
I'd shot myself instead,

because I'm the worst one here.

A coward.

For 12 years
I walked down cell block D

and I knew there was a guy out
there who couldn't walk at all,

and I hated myself for that.

I came here hoping,

hoping that I'd walk
through that door

and everything would be okay,

that Noah wouldn't be
in that wheelchair

and I wouldn't feel guilty
anymore.

I don't know how it happened.

I was just a young kid.

I didn't mean to hurt anybody.

It was an accident.
The gun just went off.

I swear,

if I could take it back,
I would.

(CRYING) I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I came here
hoping for a miracle.

I'm sorry.

Is that miracle still for sale?

It's free.

Then I'll take it.

I want that miracle.

Does anybody here object
to that?

I want God to heal that man.

MONICA: What do you mean?

You know what I mean.

Make him walk again.

Well, God can certainly make him
walk again, but that won't heal him.

You're trying to change the past

by saying
that it never happened,

but that is not the miracle
that you need.

BUDDY: It's hopeless.

It's hopeless for us all.

Well, that's what I thought
this afternoon.

I found myself believing the
headlines in the newspaper,

believing, like you, that there
was nothing ahead for the world

but pain and sadness
and disappointment.

And then I walked in here.

And that cheered you up?

Well, believe it or not, it did.

Yes, there's pain
and sadness here,

but there are also dreams.

Dreams that you're afraid
to dream,

lives that you're afraid
to hope for,

prayers that you're afraid
to pray.

And it all seems too late,
but it's not.

God loves you, Mr. Burns,

and he will give you a miracle,

but the miracle is not
to heal Noah.

The miracle is
that Noah will forgive you,

and then you both can be healed.

I don't know how.

I can't change my heart.

But God can,

and that's the real miracle.

It's available to all of us,
even to me.

When we've lost hope,

when our hearts are hard
and hopeless,

God can soften them

and fill them with hope
once more.

He's able to do that,

but you have to ask him.

Right now,

this is your chance
to start a miracle.

It's last call.

(SNIFFLING)

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING)

TESS: You see, angel girl,

you did have just one miracle
to give away,

but it's the same miracle
for everybody.

It's the gift of God's love.

It's a miracle you can give
to everyone.

(BELL TOLLING)

It's 2:00. It's closing time.

NOAH: I gotta lock up.

It's the law.

(TELEPHONE DIALING)

No miracle's gonna change that.

Information?

In Gary, the number for Anne
Baker, and give them all to me.

I'll dial them
till my daughter says hello.

Marie, I've gotta start
taking care of myself.

God, I'm lucky to have you.

Our game got derailed,
young fella,

but one of these days
it'll be you and me.

Yes.

I'm gonna take you up.

I don't know about that.

I might be the one
that takes you.

But in the meantime, why don't you
stop always trying to beat people?

You know, there is
a kind, gentle soul here.

Why don't you give him
a chance to win?

Okay, kiddo.

NOAH: Amethyst.

I know you're too young
to serve drinks,

but I was thinking about serving
some food in this place.

You know, nothing fancy,
just some chili and chips.

It's only minimum wage, but...

You've got yourself a waitress.

I'll see you tomorrow.

My daughter wants to see me.

Can you believe that?

Oh, that's lovely.

Well, it's a nice night's work.

(SIGHING) Yeah, I believe so.

TESS: You played real good
tonight, baby.

Let's go home.

Where is my dog?

(BARKING)

I think that he probably
wants to hear a song.

You're always trying
to butter me up,

(WHIMPERING) but it's not
gonna work, Mr. Dog.

Aw, Tess, come on.
One for the road.

Okay.

♫ There's a somebody
I'm longing to see

♫ And I hope that he
turns out to be

♫ Someone to watch over me ♫